The Nation Newspaper

Tag: marital

  • Marital issues affected me at Leicester — Musa

    Marital issues affected me at Leicester — Musa

    • Fenerbahce targets Eagles star

    Super Eagles and Leicester City forward Ahmed Musa says he is looking forward to a better season in England than the one he had last season after marrying his new wife Juliet Adeh last month.

    Musa struggled for form and consistency following his big money move from CSKA Moscow to the former Premier League Champions, and at a point failed to make the matchday squad in some of their games.

    The 24 year old puts it’s down to issues in his marriage, and after divorcing his wife of four years and mother of his two kids Jamila, Musa told Complete Sports that he is once again happy following his marriage to Juliet.

    “Marriage is not new to me but I believe it was a right move to make when I did. The past remains in the past.

    I’m happy now and I think well and I can focus on my game which suffered a bit.” Musa said.

    Linked with a move away from the King Power stadium, the speedy winger who is also comfortable as a forward insist he has a future at the club, hence he is not willing to consider a move away.

    Nigerian Ahmed Musa and his Leicester City teammate Jamie Vardy have emerged as Fenerbahce’s primary transfer targets, according to DHA.

    Fenerbahce are looking to boost their attacking ranks, with Dutchman Robin van Persie set to leave the club in the European summer and West Africans strikers Emmanuel Emenike and Moussa Sow also expected to depart.

    DHA claims that the Turkish club will make an offer for the Foxes pair soon and hope that the promise of European is enough to attract them to Istanbul.

    Musa, 24, signed for Leicester last season but struggled to make a major impact at the King Power Stadium. The Nigerian scored four goals in 29 appearances across all competitions.

  • Renewing your marital relationship (3)

    Renewing your marital relationship (3)

    Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom

    Dear Reader,

    For the past few weeks, I have showed you how you can renew your marital relationship, by having good expectations and building intimacy. By the grace of God, this week, I will be discussing a few guidelines on intimacy.  My focus will be on Types of Intimacy.

    Intimacy is the close relationship between you and your spouse: emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually etc. Intimacy is not an end, but rather a journey that lasts throughout your marriage.

    Intimacy can have different meanings for men and women. However, all human beings have the basic need to be intimate and close with another person. Women are often portrayed as having a desire for emotional intimacy, while men are portrayed as only having a desire for sexual intimacy. However, intimacy can take many forms, including the following:

    Emotional intimacy

    This is the closeness created through sharing feelings. Here, the couple is able to share personal feelings. They are able to trust one another, and feel safe and secure with each other.

    Emotions can be described as strong instinctive feelings. Women generally understand emotions better than men. The first step to emotional awareness is to pay attention to your feelings, identify them, and think of possible reasons for them. Work on noticing the differences between strong emotions, such as terror and fury, and the differences between more subtle emotions such as anxiety, insecurity and irritation.

    Emotional intimacy occurs when people understand what they are feeling, convey that to each other and express understanding or concern on the feelings to each other.

    Mental or intellectual intimacy

    Marriage has a cognitive and planning dimension, which includes sharing thoughts about life, making plans together and discussing goals. It also involves a mutual understanding about all the important issues in marriage. Setting goals together is one of the ways to further intellectual intimacy. For example, you might set goals to improve your intimacy.

    Spiritual intimacy

    Marriage has a spiritual and philosophical dimension which includes, sharing spiritual and religious attitudes, behaviours, beliefs and life experiences. This involves sharing religious beliefs and observing religious practices together, such as praying and attending church services. As you share spiritual experiences, you will become united in your attitudes and goals. Spiritual intimacy grows when couples become active in a church where they can learn, grow, and serve God together.

    Recreational & Social Intimacy

    This is enjoying activities together, like running, golfing, or reading. Watching a TV programme or preparing a meal together can be good ways to build recreational intimacy. Marriage has a social dimension in which the partners enjoy doing things together and spending time together.

    Financial or monetary intimacy

    The fiscal dimension of marriage deals with decisions and actions concerning earning a living and spending money. This comes with discussing and sharing your finances with each other.

    Sexual intimacy

    Husband and wife share their physical love for each other, by sharing their bodies and physically becoming one. This is one of the most important dimensions of healthy marital intimacy. Healthy sexual intimacy includes sexual frequency that both partners are satisfied with, sexual activities both partners enjoy, and an open dialogue about sex. Someone once said, “A major strength for happily married couples is the quality of their sexual relationship”.

    The (Different) Meaning of Physical Affection to Men and Women

    Both men and women share the basic need to be intimate. However, from both sexual and emotional standpoints, there are basic differences. Typically, men and women enter into marriage with different beliefs and expectations about giving and receiving affection. Having a basic understanding of such differences is important to avoid misunderstanding, frustrations, and anger.

    It’s been said that, naturally, men give love and commitment, in order to get physical affection and sex. Women give physical affection and sex, in order to get commitment and love. It might also be said that men usually hunger for sex, while women hunger for romance. Men basically give and receive love to fulfill their physical needs; while women essentially give and receive love to fulfill their emotional needs.

    Often, women need to feel loved and nurtured, before they begin to be aroused and develop desire for sexual intimacy. For women, emotional intimacy is at least as important as the act of sexual intercourse.

    Men often need to be sexually aroused, before they can truly feel and express love. It’s through sexual activity that men are emotionally and physically fulfilled. Sexual activity often enables men to become aware of their wives’ need for love and emotional support.

    Unless partners understand such differences between men and women, it can be difficult or frustrating for them to find common ground, on which their emotional and physical desires can be fulfilled. Understanding each other’s feelings and expectations regarding intimacy (in all its dimensions) and being intimate, is the key.

    Until you are a child of God, you cannot benefit from what has just been discussed. To be born again entails confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.  If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, congratulations, you are born again and you are now a child of God! He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name!  Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Renewing your marital relationship

    Renewing your marital relationship

    As single persons, what do you expect in marriage? Your expectations shall not be cut off! Before my husband and I got married, we made discoveries from God’s Word that made us expect a hitch-free marriage 

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to this glorious and exciting moment in God’s presence. As you pay rapt attention to God’s Word today, His hands shall rest upon your marriage.

    This month, we shall be looking at this all-important subject, Renewing Your Marital Relationship. To renew your marital relationship, one of the things that must be in place is your Expectation. One key factor for the miraculous is expectation. It is your expectation that gets fulfilled. Every man sets a stage for his miracle. Do you totally and truly believe God? Or do you doubt Him in your heart saying, “I tried everything, but nothing worked. I never saw anything. I am tired. I don’t think it will work.”

    Don’t be offended in God; the fact that you still have the breath of life is something to be grateful for. Instead, express your mind to God.  Say, “Lord God, I know You are forever faithful. Thank You that I am still alive today to approach You on issues I couldn’t achieve last year. Thank you for the promise of a glorious and fulfilling year. I know You will do it.”

    Forget about those old things that are bygones! God will do a new thing in your family, this year, which will make you thank Him every day.  God is set, but you have to be set too.  However, to be set, you must determine to do some things, especially, if you desire a successful home this month and beyond.

    Husband, can you see a turnaround in the character of your wife? Can you see your children obedient and God-fearing? Can you see abundance of peace, joy and harmony in your home? Wife, what do you see? Do you see your husband turning from his sinful habits to pleasing God this month and beyond? Do you see his business succeeding, thereby enabling him provide more for the family? Can you see serenity in your home? As far as you can see, it shall be given to you as it is only what you see that you can possess.

    Stop seeing the negative side of issues. Stop seeing your business going down, because of economic meltdown. Stop deducing reasons why you think things won’t work out well in your family. Stop celebrating failure. Believe God and let it be counted to you for righteousness. If God has said what He will do, let it be settled in your heart and in your actions, that He will do it. He is not a liar!

    Many years ago, I made up my mind to believe God’s Word in Proverbs 4:18. I have never had cause to doubt it. No previous year has been better than the current one for me and my family. In fact, my present position today is the least I can ever be. God is ever faithful. Friend, see good and you shall have good. See no lack around you this year, and you shall walk in abundance. God will see to it that His Word does not fall to the ground in your own life. Choose to believe God and you will have no occasion to regret.

    See with your eyes of faith. Walk by faith and not by sight. Don’t determine the happenings in your home this year by the environment. See into the plans of God for your life and family, and assure yourself of the best of times ahead.

    Someone once came to me for counselling, and had been having a very tough time in her marriage.  As she spoke, I discovered that the root cause of her problems was her wrong ideas about marriage.  She had expected grief and calamity. So, when the storms rose against her marriage, she began to say, “They told me it will be like this.”

    You must first desire a tower, before you can plan to build one.  Don’t enter into marriage without an expectation. The Word of God says:  For surely there is an end; and your expectation shall not be cut off (Proverbs 23:18). What you expect is what you will get.  God’s servant, Bishop Oyedepo would always say, “Expectation is the mother of manifestation.”

    God has promised to grant your expectations, no matter the situations around you. So, let your expectations be based on God’s Word, for it is higher than any evil experience or information you may have had or heard about marriage.

    If you are already married, there is still an opportunity for you to change all your negative expectations.  As a couple, discuss your positive expectations and I guarantee that things will work out more smoothly in your home.

    As single persons, what do you expect in marriage? Your expectations shall not be cut off! Before my husband and I got married, we made discoveries from God’s Word that made us expect a hitch-free marriage. Till today, those expectations have not been cut off.  If you expect the best, it will be yours!

    A right expectation begins with being connected to God.  You get connected by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. That is what being born again is all about. If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, congratulations, you are born again and you are now a child of God! He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Mike Inegbese, wife in marital bliss

    Mike Inegbese, wife in marital bliss

    By their fruits you shall know them, say the holy books. One needs not pry too long into the marriage of Mike Inegbese and his wife Mary to realise that the couple is having a good time with the absence of controversy, unlike in most high profile unions; a home that has had its fill of infant cries and succeeded in shaping the next generation into responsible adulthood; their public displays of affection; joint attendance of parties and other social functions together and sticking together for better or for worse.

    The veteran socialite and his wife, Mary, have been through a lot together. But as fire transforms iron into toughened steel, the tribulations they have encountered have only made their love stronger. The more they grow together, the more they love each other. Such is the level of mutual respect and understanding between the pair that they have been able to ride the malignant waves of hearsay and ridiculous rumours without a dent on their ship of romance.

    The chairman of Ineh Mic Motors and Atunwase of Lagos, hardly misses an opportunity to lavish attention on his beautiful wife. The pair often storm social gatherings together, dressed in stylish garments and accessories. Unlike Romeo and Juliet’s ill-fated romance, their love is destined for a happy ending.

  • Enjoying marital harmony (4)

    Dear Reader,

    For the past three weeks, we have been examining what it takes to enjoy marital harmony. Today, we shall be looking at the benefits of marital harmony.

    The Benefits of Marital Harmony

    God believes in profiting and His Word is meant to profit you.  It is very important for you to understand that when you live in harmony with your family, you are the primarily beneficiary.  Below are some of the benefits of marital harmony.

    Personal and Career Success

    When you live in harmony with your spouse, you will be able to plan with him, move the family forward and enjoy personal, and career successes. God created the family to enjoy fruitfulness in all areas. So, living in harmony with your spouse and family members is a sure foundation for you to enjoy career success in life.

    Marriage is designed to help you maximise your life, because God does not take His people backwards, but forward. So, God has designed marriage, among other things, to enable you grow to your maximum.  As such, you are the primary beneficiary when you live in harmony with your family.

    How does this work?

    In Genesis, we see how wonderful it is to live in harmony. It is written: And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do (Genesis 11:6).

    When a man and a woman agree to build a home both parties become dedicated to each other in terms of love, support and encouragement. As a result, they enhance each other’s performance because they want to please God and always do what is right.

    Also, it is important to know that there are certain jobs that when applied for, would inquire about your marital status because of the responsibility attached to marriage.

    However, we must recognise that lack of harmony in the home can affects the performance of an individual in life, at work and in his or her career.

    For instance, have you noticed that if a man leaves his home with troubles and concerns in his heart, he will carry them to his work place? He may not discuss his problems with his colleagues, but you will find out that those problems will automatically affect his performances. That is what makes harmony in the home the foundation, base and good ground upon which personal and career success are built.

    Church Building

    We are all aware that the church of Jesus Christ is made up of families. Every member of the church represents a specific family here on earth and every individual family makes up the church. When I talk about the church, I am referring to the body of Christ at large. So, when there is harmony in the families/ home, automatically, there will be unity and harmony in the church.

    Nation Building

    When the families enjoy unity, automatically, it will affect the nation.  There is so much negativism going on across the nations of the earth today. Every nation experiences a great deal of this negativism and the root cause is the disharmony experienced in the home. So, when the families/homes begin to enjoy harmony, it will affect the nations to a large extent.

    Sometimes ago, I read a story of a man named John Owen. He was a British Anthropologist, who conducted studies on eight civilisations that have come and gone. In his studies, he discovered that in the eight civilisations, “the fall of the family resulted in the fall of the nation.” This helps us to understand that to build our nation, the responsibility is on us as a church which includes the body of Christ and individual members representing specific families on the earth. Right now, I curse every spirit of disharmony and disagreement in your home in Jesus name!

    In conclusion, you must understand that if you are not born again, it will be impossible for you to benefit from what has just been discussed. If you want to be born again and become a child of God, please say this prayer of faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom”.

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

  • Enjoying marital harmony (3)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to this column once again. Today, we shall be looking at: ‘Understanding men and women differences’.

    Understand that men and women are different both physically and emotionally. For instance, if you see a man, you don’t need anyone to tell you, “That is a man.” In the same vein, as a man is different from a woman physically, so is he different from her in every other aspect. With this understanding, it will be easy for you to know your partner better. Men and women are created not to compete with each other, but to complement one another; so that whatever is lacking in one, the other will supply.

    Men and women are also different emotionally and that can be seen in the way they respond to issues, their outlook to life and their generally attitude to things on a daily basis. The understanding of these differences will help you to actualise the harmony that God has destined for your marriage. You will make it!

    The Area of Differences in Men and Women

    In their thinking trend

    Men think in a straight line and that helps them to maintain focus. So, when a man picks a thing, he focuses on it until it is accomplished because they think in a straight trend. On the other hand, we are told that women think in a grid. A “grid” is simply several lines. That is why you will discover that, naturally, it is possible for a woman to start many things at the same time but end up not accomplishing any of them.

    This is why, among other things, God instituted marriage to ensure a balance. Balance is the key for harmony in marriage. For instance, while the husband is maintaining focus, the wife is there sometimes, to say, “Take it easy. I need you, God needs you and the children need you.” Also, when the woman seems not to know what to focus on, the man is there to say: “I think you will do better in this or that area. Why don’t you believe God to give you direction?” He encourages her and then she begins to take giant steps in the things of God. I have said over and again, ‘If there is anything like another world, I will still marry my husband, Bishop David Oyedepo because, among other things, he has helped me a great deal to discover my God-given potentials. For that, I will ever be grateful, because now I know I am on course with destiny and purpose.

    In terms of priorities

    For men, their naturally priority is work. However, for the woman, relationship is a priority. She values relationships, her home, marriage and friends. That is why God orchestrated marriage to bring about balance and harmony in the home.

    Survival

    It is very important to understand that what oxygen is to a human being, is what respect from a wife is to her husband. Just as a human being cannot survive without oxygen, a husband cannot survive in a home without the respect of his wife. If women have an understanding of this, they will learn to respect their husbands more. Receive grace to respect your husband. As you begin to do so, you will discover that harmony will become a daily occurrence in your home.

    For the women, what oxygen is to a human being is what love from the husband is to her. The question is: men, how much do you love your wife? Some men keep saying well, my wife knows that I love her. Yes she knows, but she wants you to always express it in words to her. You have to say it to her over and again and let her know that you really love her. It was Lester Sumrall of blessed memory who said in his book, God’s Blue Print for a Happy Home: “A man can never fully understand what the statement ‘I love you’ can do in the life of his wife”. That is the way God made us. So, I say to the married men, say it often and begin to practice it over and again, and watch how harmony in your marriage will be cheaply established.

    So, when you look at the differences between men and women, you find out that balance is required. In addition, it is very important to understand that no amount of success at the office can take the place or compensate for the failure in the home. You shall not be a failure!

    Finally, it is important to know that unconditional love will take the grace of God to display because love is God’s nature. For you to enjoy harmony in your marriage love must be at work. A wise man once said, “Love without truth is hypocrisy, and truth without love is brutality”. You will not be found in either of them! Rather, the love of God which is already shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Ghost will begin to empower, engrace, energise and enable you to secure harmony in your marriage.

    Are you born again? This means to accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you desire this new birth experience, please say this prayer in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom”.

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Enjoying marital harmony (2)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to another time of refreshing. In this week’s edition of your favourite column, we shall be looking at the topic: ‘Understanding’.

    Understanding is a very important factor if you must enjoy marital harmony. The Bible says: …And with all thy getting get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).

    First, you need an understanding of yourself. You must know who you are and why you are here on earth. You must understand that God sent you to earth for a purpose; thus, you are not an accidental creature. Also, understand that you were not born to the family you belong to by mistake. This is because God is the perfect Organiser of man’s destiny. Furthermore, you must understand that God, Who made you, can never mismanage your life or your marriage.

    However, until you are in harmony with yourself, you can never enjoy marital harmony. If you don’t have a good understanding of yourself, there is no way harmony can be your portion in marriage. The question then is: How much of yourself do you understand?

    You must understand what marriage is and what it is not.

    There are several people who are married, but lack the understanding of what marriage is all about. On the other hand, there are other people who desire to get married but also lack the understanding of what marriage truly is.

    What then is marriage?

    It is a union of a man and a woman in an exclusive, God-ordained, lifetime relationship. If you have this understanding no matter the challenge you face in your marriage, you will know that you and God are up to it. Marriage is a perfect union with imperfect practitioners; when you understanding this, it will help you to enjoy harmony in your marriage.

    A wise man once said, “Because God is the Author of marriage, there is nothing you can add to it. All you need is to believe it and practice it”. As you practice it, it will begin to work for you. Remember, marriage is a perfect union because God makes no mistakes; however, the practitioners of marriage are imperfect. This will help you to relate effectively with your spouse and enjoy harmony in marriage.

    Marriage is not just a means of getting what you desire; but also a means to meeting the needs of your spouse in the union. The Bible says: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth (Genesis 1:28). The scripture further says that one will chase a thousand, and two will not just put a thousand, but ten thousand to flight (Deuteronomy 32:30). This is God’s mystery for earthly dominion. That means when you get married, you have a potential of being minimum ten times better in all areas of your life. That shall become your testimony!

    Marriage is not the source of joy and contentment, God is. Therefore, as you walk with God in your family, He will begin to unfold deep things to you via His Word and manifest Himself in your home like never before.

    Your must understand your spouse

    For you to have harmony in your home, you need to understand your spouse. You must understand that everything about God is unique. There are no two people on planet earth that are exactly the same.

    You are unique and peculiar; so is your spouse. Your children are peculiar; so is everyone God has created. You are not a carbon-copy of anyone; you are an original and so is your spouse. Therefore, you must understand your spouse if you desire marital harmony. You must understand his or her background, likes and dislikes, what makes him or her happy and what affects his or her mood.

    For those who are yet to be married, before you say, ‘Yes I do’ to any man or lady at the altar, ask yourself: “How much of him or her do I really know?” A lady met me some years back; she had been married for just three months then but was already fed up of the marriage and ready for a divorce. So, I asked a simple question, “How much of your spouse did you know before you got married?” Your guess is as good as mine. She knew close to nothing about him.

    To be able to understand your spouse effectively, two things must be in place:

    1. You must me sensitive: Never walk around with your eyes closed. Your mind is a sound mind; so, be sensitive.
    2. Communicate effectively: Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Learn to communicate effectively with your spouse; when you know how to do this, it will help you to understand who your spouse is. You need to ask questions. The disciples of Jesus were around Him but they didn’t only listen to His teachings; whatever they didn’t understand, they always asked and Jesus never told them to shut up. Instead, He always answered their questions.

    So, rather than assuming, why not ask questions to know your spouse better? Communicate effectively to have a better understanding of who he or she is. When communication between you and your spouse becomes effective, you are laying a solid foundation for marital harmony. Understanding is a pivotal requirement to having an outstanding marriage; however, having a relationship with God is the foundation that guarantees harmony in marriage. Jesus Christ is knocking at the door of your heart, today, for you to accept Him as your Saviour and Lord. That is what being born again is all about. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer of faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom”.

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Enjoying marital harmony

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to another wonderful time in God’s presence. Throughout this month, we shall be exploring the topic: ‘Enjoying Marital Harmony’.

    The Bible says: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). This is God speaking and He is the Author of “the family”.  The excerpt “…They shall be one flesh” from the above scripture is not talking about the physical joining of a man and a woman. No! Rather, it is referring to the harmony, agreement and unity in marriage. Furthermore, it is important to know that in securing marital harmony no matter the culture, the Word of God is universal and it works anywhere.

    There are many married couples today, who shed tears because of their experiences in marriage. I pray that whatever tears you have shed in the past, as you go through this article today, God will wipe them all away!

    The issue of marital harmony is of utmost importance because it is not just about you as an individual, but the entire church of Jesus Christ since it is made up of families. In other words, harmony in the family unit will affect the body of Christ in a large way because every nation on planet earth is made up of families.

    Understanding the Family Unit

    The word “family” in the Longman’s Dictionary of contemporary English means: a group of people who are closely related to each other, especially mother, father and their children, representing the nuclear family.  There is also the extended family setup, which include aunts, uncles, grandparents, distant relatives, etc.

    I want you to know that everyone on earth male or female, married or single, no matter the status, belongs to a specific family. God sent you to this world through that family for a purpose and you will fulfill that purpose in Jesus’ name! Many families and homes today, both in the church and in the world are going through tension and disharmony, and this has resulted in separation, divorce, abuse of all kinds, frustration, infidelity and the likes.

    The Foundation

    The Bible says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3).

    The foundation for securing marital harmony is your personal relationship with God, because He is the Author of marriage and the Founder of the family. Thus, your relationship with the Almighty Father is the starting point to experiencing marital harmony.

    Moreover, God is the only source of true and lasting relationship. When you allow Him into the ship of your marriage, it will never sink. As singles, I want you to know that it is the will and intention of God for you to enjoy a sweet home; but, your true and lasting satisfaction, joy and fulfilment in life are rooted in your relationship with the Almighty God. A good understanding of this will help you to walk through life with confidence.

    In addition, I want you to know that your spouse is not your source of joy: rather, God is the only true source of joy. This truth will enable you to walk by the Word of God to secure marital harmony. For instance, when you understand that God is the only source of joy, happiness and contentment in the family, you will know that changing spouse like clothes is not the solution to the contentment issues in your family. Looking for the latest models in town will never bring you contentment. God is the ONLY true source!

    Your problem today may be: Oh! My husband is not good; I will look for another one. My wife is not good; I will get a better one. Or maybe you are contemplating divorce right now. I pray that as you are reading this material today, the light of God will come on you and dignity will be restored to your marriage in Jesus’ name! Therefore, stop that divorce plan; that is not the solution. It is your relationship with God that makes all the difference and you will make progress in your family life. Whatever has caused you heartache and tears before, your relationship with God will cause a change and you shall have harmony in your family in Jesus’ name!

    Also, know that marital harmony is possible but it is not a gift; rather, it is a responsibility. As such, you must accept the responsibility of securing marital harmony in your home. Bishop David Oyedepo, whom I am privilege to be married to, said, “Faith that makes God absolutely responsible for the events of your life is an irresponsible faith”.  In other words, you have a part to play!

    In conclusion, remember that God is the only true source of joy and harmony in your home, thus, until you allow Him into your life, you cannot enjoy harmony in your home. Why not have a relationship with God today by accepting Him as your Saviour and Lord. That is what being born again is all about. If you want to be born again, please say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.  If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Artistes react to Tiwa, Teebillz marital issues

    Artistes react to Tiwa, Teebillz marital issues

    The dust is yet to settle over the Tiwa Savage/Teebillz saga as celebrities have continued to weigh in on the matter. While the public seem to be divided along even lines, a couple of artistes have called on both parties to tread with caution.

    Veteran singer, Charlie Boy, aka Area Fada, decried a situation where celebriaties wash their dirty linens in public stating that it is sad, especially if they are amongst stars that he admires and love.

    “TeeBillz and Tiwa Savage una fall my hand no be small. Una no know say MUTUAL RESPECT IS NON-NEGOTIABLE for marriage? Why yeye una self for public like this.

    Una no know say competition na for business no be for marriage,” he admonished.

    In his words, artistes are more fragile than normal people; however they must understand that they are role models to millions of people.

    “No marriage can escape bad weather even my own, I dey sometimes see Oba for the matter but like I say, “marriage is not about being compatible but how couples deal with their incompatibility. Make I no hear una problems for loudspeakers again, joor.

    AreaFada done talk him own,” he wrote.

    One of those who was at the receiving end of Teebillz’ rant was Tuface Idibia, but it appears he is more bothered by the wellbeing of both parties. The entertainer took a swipe at those who have been making disheartening comments about Tiwa and Teebillz’ marital issues. “I’m so disgusted at some people that have been making distasteful jokes out of people’s real life heartbreaking predicament. GOD forgive u,” he tweeted.

    Cool FM presenter, Freeze, who had earlier blamed Tiwa Savage for escalating the issue, made a u-turn after having a lengthy chat with the songstress. Describing his earlier post as ‘being bit insensitive’, the OAP said that it’s too late for regrets now. According to him, we all have to stop blaming either party and focus on praying for both of them.

    “Teebillz and Tiwa are both at a fragile state, and it is so unfortunate that this matter has been brought before a fanged public ready to tear us all up for their amusement. Like @official2baba said, don’t make jokes about a serious matter, instead, remember them in your prayers. I love you Tiwa, I love you Billz, there is a light at the end of this tunnel, GOD is your strength and he will see you through this,” his latter post read.

    In a simple tweet, and perhaps speaking from his own recent experience, Paul Okoye of Psquare fame advised the couple; “Don’t ever go to the public to solve a private matter… It will only get worse!!! You are only entertaining people. And they are having fun.”

    Meanwhile, statistics show that Tiwa Savage broke Youtube records with her all-revealing interview, emerging one of the fastest to reach 300,000 views in 24 hours.

  • Tips on marital relationship

     

    THANKS for your compliment. We give God all the glory. We really appreciate your text message. Marital relationship in our busy world is such a huge challenge.

    Unfortunately, there is not enough good news about marriages today. Separation, divorce, remarriage and marriage of low quality abound, while happy marriages are seldom. Though we all know many such happy marriages exist.

    Why is the institution of marriage under such pressure in our world today?  The rates of divorce and separation are growing by the day. Must it be so? Is there anything we can do to change the trend? The answer is, of course, yes. There is much we can all do to help couples who want to make their marriages successful by imbibing some useful martial relationship tips. Most couples take their relationship for granted as the years go by. Some stop doing the things they enjoy before marriage. They stop spending quality time together. They stop showing affection to each other. And some have little or no form of communication at all.  Love is totally out of the question for some. They fail to understand that love within marriage is a myriad reality.

    Love does not exist on its own; it depends on other virtues in order to be meaningful. To have a good relationship with your spouse is the ability to express love and love is based on respect, care, kindness, consideration, sharing everything, selfgiving and personal affection. Every one’s relationships are different. But sometimes, we face similar issues. Whatever you are going through in your relationship, it can be comforting to know that you are not alone.

    Effective communication: Most couples have drifted apart over the years for one reason or the other. Some blame it on pressure, could be personal, family, job, or financial. Lack of effective interaction between couples can affect their marriages. Communication is the building block of intimacy in marriage because through it couples can express their thoughts and feeling for each other. Remember, you are not a mind reader. The only way you can relate with each other is by talking. Therefore, for better communication, the sender must make sure that the message is clear, while the receiver must understand the message.

    Most times, couples hear each other talk, but they don’t listen, for a good marital relationship is to listen more. Seeing your spouse as somebody you can talk to about everything and he/ she will listen attentively without any distraction. Next is how to communicate. We communicate in different ways, verbal and nonverbal. Verbal communication is the use of words that is what you say, how you say it and when. To have an effective interaction with your spouse, you must get your timing right when you want to talk. It is very important.

    Spoken words are very powerful. They can make or destroy a marriage or relationship. The way you talk to your spouse stays more in their minds, whether harsh or kind words. Money in marriage should not be neglected. Couples should talk about their financial issues freely, although money is not everything in marriage. But when not tackled properly, it can make or affect a home. Many relationships have gone sour because of money issue, so couples should have financial discussion, plan and work together as a team following their budgets. There are no particular ways to dealing with money issue. Look for what will work for your family and follow it. Always talk to each other.

    Moreover, personality type must not be left out in discussing marital relationship. You must know your spouse very well. What kind of person is my wife or my husband is what should come to mind at all times. What are his/her likes and dislikes. Knowing these will help you know your boundaries which in return will help your marriage. Understanding is very important because that is the only way you can appreciate your spouse’s strength and shortcomings. Tolerance, patience and respect must be inclusive for a happy marriage. In addition, spending quality time together with your spouse must not be overlooked because it is the time you can relax, talking about personal romantic issues that are not centred on the children, bills or work. Talk about yourselves in a romantic atmosphere. Come on, you are married for crying out loud.

    Treat yourself. That takes me to the next point which is attitude to sex in marriage. Many marital beds have gone cold. Sex is more like a duty to most couples with little or no excitement. This has led to broken homes. Sex in marriage is a big deal. Like I will always say. Marriage is the only legal platform that you can do and undo. Not for the singles because I know I have young and single readers. Please, kindly excuse me. The manner towards sex in marriage for some couples is not acceptable. Some husbands pay little or no attention to romance. Their focus is on sex straight away. Some have this. It is my right attitude with no regards to the feelings of their spouse. Some forget to understand that they must put every little detail into consideration. They start the day, for example, by being nasty to their wives and at night they expect her to be up and doing in bed, wrong! With most women, the mood just has to be right. To get the best, you must start treating her well from the beginning. So at night, sex comes naturally.

    On the other hand, some women behaviour towards sex is not encouraging- some see sex as call of duty, having sex with their husband is performing their wifely role not to enjoy. Others always have excuses to give once it comes to sex.

    Most wives feel that it is not a woman’s place to initiate sex, so they suppress their feelings because they feel it is the man’s place to make the initial move. Sex should be discussed freely by couples, and this will enhance their relationship because sex creates a bond between a husband and a wife. It is to be enjoyed, so go ahead and spice up your love life.

    In conclusion, relationship is like a garden when you take time to attend and nurture it. You are blessed with beautiful flowers for the season. Therefore, when you tend your relationship, you will be blessed with joy, happiness and care.

     

    Harriet ogbobine is a counselor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only 08023058805. You can also follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj