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Tag: Marriage convenant

  • Marriage convenant responsibilities (4)

    DEAR reader, welcome to the last segment on this column. This week, I will yet be looking at the responsibilities of the woman.

    Home Maker

    The woman in the home has the responsibility of making her home. God’s Word says: To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed (Titus 2:5; see also Proverbs 14:1). The home is what the woman makes it to be. An adage says, “As you lay your bed, so you lie on it.” Make your home conducive for the Holy Spirit to dwell in. There are some homes you enter, and you just sense the presence of the Holy Spirit. You can see joy and gladness on the faces of those who live there. There are some others that, as soon as you enter their homes, you feel tension in the atmosphere.

    The woman has a great role to play in determining the spiritual atmosphere of the home. You can determine to make your home a conducive place for the Holy Spirit to dwell in. Keep your home for Jesus, and out of the reach of the devil.

    Keeping the home involves doing it physically and spiritually.  Spiritually, you keep your home by prayers, the Word of God, fasting and watching. Physically, you keep it clean and tidy. The cleanliness in some homes commands attention, while in others, you wonder whether cleanliness means anything to them.  No matter how small or big the place you are living is, keep it clean, to the glory of God. Some women appear neat outside, but leave their homes in a mess with everything there “rioting!” This is hypocrisy. Cleanliness is part of spirituality; therefore, woman, be clean inside and outside.

    The woman, as a home keeper, prepares food for her household. The book of Proverbs describe the virtuous woman as one who “Giveth meat to her household” (Proverbs 31:15). Members of her household are all adequately taken care of.  How well people in the home are taken care of depends, therefore, on how efficient she is in performing this duty.

    Keeping the home requires diligence, spiritually and physically. It is energy and time-consuming, but the result speaks for itself.  A lazy woman cannot keep a home, but God will always supply the strength that is required.

    Solution Provider

    Mothers are solution providers. They are blessings and not burdens to their families. At the wedding of Cana, in John 2: 5, Mary the mother of Jesus directed the servants, who lacked enough wine for the wedding to the solution. She said: Whatsoever he (Christ) saith unto you, do it.

    Someone said, “Men are what their mothers make them.” Another person said about Martin Luther (initiator of the reformation movement): “Behind the monk, who shook the world was the influence of a mother.” A child’s first TEACHER is his mother. There is a special link between a mother and the child she carried in her womb and breast-fed at birth.

    This link gives the mother a unique position and tie with the child, which fathers don’t have and can be used as a point of contact to pray for the proper development of your child. Susannah Wesley, the mother of the well-known Methodist preacher John Wesley, spent one hour each day praying for her 17 children. She took each child aside for a full hour every week to discuss spiritual matters.” No investment made over your child’s life is wasted. Your children of today are the leaders of tomorrow. Abraham Lincoln, a one-time President of the USA said, “All that I am, I owe to my angel mother.”

    There is an adage that says, “Charity begins at home.” Yes, it is true and a real mother will do well to initiate it in her family, if it is lacking. Stretch out your heart spiritually and pray for others. Don’t let your prayers focus only on “me, myself and I. Stretch out your hand physically and give to others. Always look for an opportunity to be a blessing to others, because giving is living. Give to the needy and not just to your friends. Feed the hungry and your children will never be hungry. Whenever you give to the needy, you are doing it for God and He will surely repay you (Proverbs19:17).

    To be a keeper and a solution provider requires the grace of God and to access that grace, you must be born again. This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready to be a child of God, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Marriage convenant responsibilities (3)

    DEAR reader, families that experience peace, joy, fulfilment, harmony, happiness and everybody bursting with the joy of the Holy Ghost, didn’t arrive there by accident. However, the God, Who gave it to them, is not a respecter of persons (Acts 10:34). That same God, Who is doing it for that particular family is much more ready to do the same for you, if only you will carry out your responsibility(ies).

    The truth is: God doesn’t favour one marriage and family more than another. He is ready to give you joy, peace and happiness in your home, because He doesn’t change (Malachi 3:6) as long as you fulfil your own part of the marriage covenant.

    In this segment, I will be focusing on the responsibility of the woman. God has given the woman the responsibility to be a wife, mother and a comforter.

     

    A Wife

    As a wife, a woman has the power of influence, while her husband has the power of authority. A wife must be a positive influence. Her responsibility, as far as God is concerned is that of submission. She willingly allows herself to be ruled by her husband by obeying him in love (Ephesians 5:22-24).

    The wife is to see to the general welfare of the home, planning and managing resources provided by the man (Titus 2:5). You are the homemaker, not your house-help. You are to see to the welfare of every member of your household. This is the wife’s primary assignment before her outside career or business.

     

    A Mother

    As a mother, it is your responsibility to mother and train your children spiritually and physically, bringing them up to become arrows in the hands of God. A wise man once said that the greatest factory where the most important product in the world is being made is the family.

    A mother’s role in the life of a child is a non-transferrable responsibility. Mothers, don’t push your children to another person to train for you. Whatever means God gives to you, use it to bring up your children. Remember, you are answerable to God. Prepare your children for life ahead; that is your covenant responsibility.

    One reason God brought about the marital union of the man and the woman was to bring forth godly seeds. If we must have godly seeds, then we must have godly mothers. I always tell people that thieves have mothers, but they did not do a good job of caring for their children at the right time. I read an inscription once that says, “It is better to train a child than to repair an adult!” Children are like fresh fish; you can bend them any way. But adults are like dry fish, any attempt to bend them will break them.

    After God created the woman, He rested. He was so satisfied after creating her that He ended His work. He was so convinced that He had put a seal of perfection on all His creation, after she was made. Your presence as a woman, therefore, whether as a mother, a mother to be or a mother-in-law, should bring rest to the people around you.

     

    Comfort

    Comfort is a major characteristic every mother must possess. Even God, in His Word, reveals this when He says: As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you (Isaiah 66:13). A mother’s soothing touch and presence are meant to bring comfort, encouragement, relief, joy, rest, help and love to her family.

    In some families today, you can’t find rest: the mother in the family is the chief perpetrator of discord. She is always nagging! You are supposed to be a comfort to your husband and children. After the death of Sarah, the Bible says:  And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death (Genesis 24:67).

    Mother, you are meant to be a peacemaker. The Bible talks about a “mother-in-Israel,” who saved a city by her wisdom and brought peace to the land (2 Samuel 20:19).  You, too, can bring peace, rest and comfort to your family, place of work and community.

    However, the grace to accept your God-given responsibility can only be given, when you surrender your life to Christ.  This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

     

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Marriage convenant responsibilities (2)

    DEAR Reader, God’s Word concerning your family life is reaching out to you again, so your family life can be a thing of joy, pleasure and high esteem, as it was instituted to be from the very beginning (Genesis 2:22).

    However, to enjoy fulfilment in the marriage covenant, co-operation between the husband and the wife is a major requirement. Wherever the man does not co-operate with the woman or the woman does not co-operate with the man, fulfilment remains a dream that can never be realized. This week, we will go ahead to see another responsibility of the man in a marriage covenant.

    A French Proverb says, “A father is a banker provided by nature.” You are responsible for the needs of your home. Meeting the needs of the home is the responsibility of the man, primarily; the woman is only your help meet. Never shift your responsibility; it is anti-covenant.

    Some men do rejoice at the fact that they are the head of the home, forgetting the responsibilities attached to that office. It is not enough to rejoice at the great authority that God has vested on man, but to live up to the responsibilities attached to it. Therefore, men, put your hands to work so as to perform your God-assigned responsibility.

    As a father and husband, you have the responsibility of providing for the home. It must be accepted joyfully, and executed excitedly. Be concerned about your wife and children’s welfare. Some men leave home, not concerned whether their family members have eaten or not. This is a violation of covenant obligations and it’s very risky. No man has any right to wear new clothes, when his family members are going about in rags. You should set aside some amount of money from whatever you earn, to cater for the personal needs of your wife and children.

    Some men shy away from their responsibilities and don’t give their wives home-keeping allowance, under the guise that their wives are working. This is not right and it is not of God. The Scripture says: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel (1 Timothy 5:8).

    When a man stops looking after his household, his life becomes worse than that of an unbeliever. No matter how much tithe and offering he gives, God says he has denied the faith and will suffer the same fate as an unbeliever.

    Therefore, a man without a job is not ready for family life at all. The first requirement, which is having a gainful job, has not been fulfilled. Adam didn’t just have a job; he was pursuing his God-given assignment and purpose. He was gainful employment.

    A man, who is too slothful to find a gainful employment should not eat; rather, he should go out and put his hands to work in order to cater for his wife and children. It is not a part of God’s programme for a wife to take on the responsibility, as the breadwinner of the home. Such a situation is abnormal; the hand of the devil is involved. This normally results in the wife hiding money from the husband, because she is afraid he would squander it and at the same time refuse to take care of her because he is unemployed.

    It is unfortunate that some cultures encourage idleness, by permitting family members, relations and even friends to live off others without having a job or source of income. They do this in the pretext that there are no available jobs or I just want to put up with my uncle till a good job comes up. Where there seems not to be any available work or job, create one. But by all means refuse idleness. God’s Word says: Whatsoever thy hand FINDETH to do, do it with all thy might… (Ecclesiastes 9:10). Look at the word FINDETH. It is your responsibility to locate something that can yield profit, not your uncle or your father, but your own responsibility.

    Anyone who chooses to be idle need not bother about food, whether male or female. God’s Word says: For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: If a man will not WORK, he shall not EAT (2 Thessalonians 3:10 NIV). ‘Rule’ here means ‘command’. Therefore, to work is a commandment. There is just ‘no food for the idle man.’ God’s Word does not permit it. Right from the time God blessed Adam with a wife, he has been the head of the family. This, also, placed upon him the responsibility of providing for his household. That means, by God’s arrangement, the husband is to provide for the family. He is to work and ensure that there is food for members of his family, most especially his immediate family (wife and children). Therefore, the man must work with his hands; he can’t afford to be lazy, idle or beg.

    Are you born again? I give you the opportunity today to surrender your life to Him. This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Marriage convenant responsibilities

    DEAR Reader, if your family life turns out to be successful, you’ve played a part in its success, even though God is the ultimate builder (Hebrews 3:4). If your family life is not successful, God is not to be blame, because He always keeps His side of the covenant. Before your family can be built successfully, there are certain responsibilities that you must accept and fulfill.  By the special grace of God, all through this month, I will be examining the responsibilities of the man and his wife in a marriage covenant. This week, I will start with one of the responsibilities of the man.

    The Love Responsibility

    God gave man the responsibility to love his wife and his family members. Wherever love is present, it can be seen, read, heard and felt. You can’t hide love. The question now is: how well do you love your wife? Wherever love is absent, there can’t be effective leadership. However, anyone who draws people to himself, is touched by their feelings and shows concern for them, would always be an effective leader.

    Love and control are two sides of the same coin. If you want to be in control of your home, you need to use the weapon of love. Ask yourself, “Do I really love my wife and family?” Remember, where there is love, selfishness does not exist!

    As a man, God has given you the responsibility to love your wife, just as Jesus loves the church; that is the standard. Jesus loved the church when it had no comeliness. The Bible says, while we were yet sinners, Christ laid down His life for us His Church (I John 3:16). A man that loves his wife, therefore, does not wait for his wife to be perfect before he loves her. Rather, he is unconditionally steadfast in the demonstration of his love for her and for his entire family.  Whenever your wife is going wrong, call her back to order with love. In the world they say, “Love is blind,” but that is not true because God is love and God is not blind. Love has the clearest eyesight; it sees danger afar off and warns it’s loved ones.

    Love thinketh no evil… (1 Corinthians 13:5). If your wife could see the thoughts that you’re thinking towards her, would you be ashamed? Therefore, always resist any evil thought concerning your wife or other family members, in the mighty name of Jesus.

    Also ensure that you express your love verbally. If you can’t tell your wife you love her, who else do you want to tell? I hear it from my husband continually and it creates in me both the ability to submit and a reassurance to make our family a delight always.

    A man who loves his wife speaks good and godly words to her and the children. When he calls his wife a virtuous woman, she longs to live up to that title. As he refers to his children as being gifted and intelligent, they work hard not to disappoint his expectations. He disciplines them when necessary, with a heart full of love and compassion. He interacts (plays) with them, communicates with them, asks them relevant questions, allows them to ask him questions and answers them. He is a good listener and always there for his family when they need him.

    Husband, if you really love your wife, you will treat her just as you treat yourself. Wherever love is, there will be nothing like beating or boxing. If you love your wife, you will correct in love not with brutality. It’s sad to discover that some men literally involve themselves in real boxing matches in the corner of their room in a bid to correct their wives. If you keep beating your wife, you are not walking in the terms of the covenant and it is punishable by God. How can you say, “I love you” to your wife in a moment and then the next, slap her? Remember, action always speaks louder than words. The Bible says: No man ever yet hateth himself, but rather cherishes it and nourishes it even as Christ does to the Church (Ephesians 5:25).

    If you see a man beating himself on the street, won’t you say that he’s going insane? In the same way, it is spiritual insanity for a man to look at his wife in the face and then slap or beat her. That is an abuse of the privilege of being the head and leader of your family. Don’t be a taskmaster or a lion causing everybody to hide behind the chairs and under the tables as soon as they hear your voice from afar. You don’t have to scare members of your family just to prove that you have them under control (1 John 4:18).

    A pinch of salt looks so little but when it is absent in any soup, it is very obvious. Similarly, no matter how great every other thing looks in a family, when love is missing, it will be glaring to the whole world.

    These are the things that make a family sweet. There is no secret anywhere; obedience to these divine instructions will give you enviable results in your family life. If you desire the grace of God upon your life to be able to carry out your God-given responsibilities as a man, there is need for you to surrender your life to Christ. You surrender by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood.  Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).