Tag: marry

  • ‘Why I can’t marry a lawyer’

    Adekunle Adekoya is a 2009 law graduate of the Olabisi Onabanjo University (OOU), Ago Iwoye, Ogun State. He tells ADEBISI ONANUGA how young lawyers can overcome poor remunerations. 

    Background

    I was born in Lagos but I am from Ogun State. I am the first born of my parents. I graduated from the Faculty of Law, Olabisi Onabanjo University (OOU), Ago Iwoye, Ogun State in the 2009 and the Nigerian Law School, Enugu Campus. I was called to Nigerian Bar in 2012.

    Choice of Law

    Well, my uncle, Professor Olusegun Yerokun, the then Dean, Faculty  of Law at Lagos State University (LASU), Ojo, Lagos who I took as my father, encouraged me to study Law. I actually wanted to study Mass Communication.

    Other lawyers in the family                 

    No, I don’t have anyone

    How family or friends celebrated his graduation as a lawyer

    My parents were so glad on my call date and some of my friends. My father gave out his best just to ensure I became a lawyer today.

    Greatest challenges while practising      

    The supporting staff in Judiciary have always been my greatest challenge, particularly when you want to file court processes at the court registry – moving from one office to another. I had a challenge recently where I had filed court processes for tenancy matter at Yaba Magistrates Court Registry.

    Believing that I was done with what was required of me, but to my surprise, I went to the court assigned for my matter on the day for the case, I was informed by the Court Registrar that the file for my suit had not been brought to the court. Luckily for me on that day, the Magistrate was on leave. I was told to go to the Records Section at Yaba Magistrates court, which I went that same day just to ensure the court file gets to court. Lawyers cannot file court papers and just go to bed. You must keenly monitor your case.

    Experience with principal as young lawyer

    My experience with my former principal was something worthwhile. It is a good firm where I believe young lawyers can have good law practice. But now I am in the world to tap the goodies.

    Marriage to a female colleague       

    No, I cannot marry a lawyer. There is nothing attached to it. It is my decision.

    Most embarrassing day in court

    My most embarrassing day in court was when a judge asked me when I was called to bar. In that case, I was holding brief for a colleague. I argued something I was sure of against the counsel on the other side.

    Most memorable day in court            

    My most memorable day in court was when I got my first judgment in a petition at the Lagos State High Court.

    How to mitigate poor pay

    Honestly, poor salaries are what young lawyers are facing in legal practice by some law firm.  The Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) at national level has always been discussing it at conferences but to implement it is another issue. That is why you see candidates contesting for office of NBA president at national level using it as part  of their campaign, that they will ensure young lawyers are well paid just to get the votes of young lawyers. They know if we are to go by statistics of people who vote, young lawyers vote more.

    Young lawyers and extra income

    I don’t think there is nothing young lawyers can do to get extra income except if the law firm you work for allows you to do private practice (PP) or you have a case then you give it out to your colleague who you know are on their own and doing their private practice and are not under obligation to any principals. Then you can work on percentage with your colleague who will handle the case.

    Adequacy of Law School curriculum

    For the best interest of legal profession, the law school curriculum need to be overhauled.

    Shabby dressing by some lawyers                     

    My advice to young lawyers on dressing is that they should not say because of what is trending in the fashion world, they want to turn dress code to suit themselves. They should be modest in their dressing and be neatly dressed too.

     Plans for the next decade

    To be a seasoned lawyer to be reckoned with.

  • Police: an officer is permitted to marry another officer

    Police: an officer is permitted to marry another officer

    The Police have said no law stops an officer in service from marrying another police personnel on officer cadre. 

    The reaction came following a report credited to Inspector-General (IG) Ibrahim Idris claiming that he was free to have romantic affair with any policewoman.

    There are three cadres in the Force: Rank and File cadre where constable to sergeant falls, Inspectorate cadre where the Inspectors fall and officers cadre.

    Police personnel from the rank of an Assistant Superintendent of Police up to Inspector-General of Police fall under officer’s cadre.

    The Force Spokesman CSP Jimoh Moshood, in a statement in Abuja yesterday, described the report credited to the IG as untrue and misleading.

    Moshood said: “What the IGP said in the document submitted to the Senate Ad-hoc Committee investigating the spurious allegation against the IG is that no law stops a police officer in service to marry another police officer on an officer cadre.

    “He never said I’m free to have romantic affairs with police women,” he said.

  • Police officers permitted  to marry officers, says Police

    Police officers permitted to marry officers, says Police

    There is no law against a Police officer marrying another police personnel on officer cadre.

    The Police Headquarters made this clarification o Sunday following a report credited to the Inspector-General of Police (IGP), Ibrahim Idris that he was free to have romantic affair with any policewoman.

    There are three cadre in the Force; Rank and File cadre for Constable to Sergeant, Inspectorate cadre for Inspectors and Officers cadre.

    Police personnel from the rank of an Assistant Superintendent of Police up to Inspector-General of Police fall under Officer’s cadre.

    The Force Spokesman CSP Jimoh Moshood in a statement in Abuja on Sunday described the report credited to the IG as untrue and misleading.

    Moshood said: “”What the IGP said in the document submitted to the Senate Ad-hoc committee investigating the spurious allegation against the IGP is that no law stops a Police Officer in Service to marry another Police Officer on an Officer cadre.

    “He never said I’m free to have romantic affairs with Police women”.

    When The Nation sought to know the section of the Law or Act where the permission is stated, a source in the Force said personnel of the Force are guided by Force Order.

    The Source who pleaded anonymity said: “What we have in the Police is a Force Order and it prevents officers from marrying from the junior cadre but officers can marry themselves.”

    “The order is just to enforce discipline because if any personnel is allowed to marry from any cadre, discipline might be compromised.”

  • I rejected suggestions to marry secret wife —Pastor blessed with twins after 16 years of waiting

    I rejected suggestions to marry secret wife —Pastor blessed with twins after 16 years of waiting

    •Despite long delay, I didn’t lose hope—Wife

    There was animated joy penultimate Sunday in Ikere Ekiti as friends, family members and well-wishers celebrated with a couple, Pastor Michael Sunday Ajala and his wife, Mrs. Helen Folasade Ajala, who were blessed with a set of twins; a boy and a girl.

    Pastor Ajala and his wife, Folasade, were joined in holy wedlock on August 18, 2001, at Emure- Ekiti, but their hope for early childbearing was dashed after the woman suffered stillbirth at the Obafemi Awolowo University Teaching Hospital, Ile-Ife in Osun State, a few months after their marriage was consummated. Doctors at the hospital attributed the loss of the baby to a cardiac arrest Folasade suffered during pregnancy.

    It was a long wait for Folasade, as efforts to procure another pregnancy proved abortive even as the couple was subjected to medical tests and visited gynaecologists in various hospitals amid fasting and prayer. The couple’s prayers were eventually answered in July 2016 when Folasade began to see signs of pregnancy.

    Medical tests later confirmed that the she was pregnant and their joy knew no bounds. Nine months later, precisely April 2, 2017, Folasade was delivered of a set of twins (a boy and a girl). The news of the birth spread round Ikere Ekiti like a wild fire in the harmattan.

    The home of the couple located in Oke-Igbe area of Ikere Ekiti was filled to capacity as neighbours, relations, family members, church members and other members of the public trooped there to congratulate them and welcome the new babies. A lavish naming ceremony was held on April 9, at the Gospel Faith Mission International (GOFAMINT), Hephzibah Cathedral, Kajola, Ikere Ekiti, where the couple worship.

    At the ceremony, thousands of well-wishers rejoiced with the long suffering couple. The baby boy was named Philip; Sunday; Taiwo; Temitope; Abimbola; Oluwapamilerin and Ayomide, while the girl was named Delight; Bisola; Kehinde; Iyanuoluwa; Bosede and Modalayo. In his sermon at the ceremony, Ikere District Pastor of the church, Pastor Olumide Fred Akinrotohun, described the birth of the twins as a reward for the faithfulness of the couple in spite of their plight during the long wait. Quoting from the books of Genesis Chapter 30 Verse 1, Psalm 127:3-5 and Psalm 128:1-6, the cleric said nobody can by his own power produce children except God grants him the grace saying worrying and anxiety can’t do it but only faith in God.

    Pastor Akinrotohun said the story of the Ajalas was a testimony that God still answers prayer commending the couple for soldiering on in faith when every hope seemed to have been lost. Giving testimony before the congregation, Pastor Ajala, 52, who hails from Ikere Ekiti, said he felt a sense of relief when God spoke to him on July 31 that He has done it and in a matter of months his wife would put to bed. He said: “The Lord is good, the Lord is wonderful.

    At times, God may delay it to answer you better. We serve a God who turned impossibility to possibility and who reversed the irreversible. “Some people were spreading false rumours about my wife, others gave me suggestions that I should marry another wife which I rejected. I had a strong belief in God that He would do it at the right time.

    “I never allowed the problem of childbearing to show on my face. In fact, some people used to tell me that is the God you are serving not able to do it for you? But I thank God that He has done it today and this has become a reality. “There is no problem too big for God to solve, there is nothing impossible for God to do. This is an evidence of what God can do and this should encourage couples still going through similar problems that God will answer them.

    “God made the delivery of the twins easier for us during this period of economic challenges as God raised people for us who supported us financially. This is a wonder from God and we will continue to praise God for answering us at last. “It has been almost nerve-wracking experience but we thank God that He eventually saw us through because we have been believing in Him for all the 16 years we were expecting.

    And God proved Himself beyond all reasonable doubts.� “We believed in the efficacy of the power of God. We were praying and we believed that God can do all things. We believed in the grace of God, that there is nothing impossible for Him to do.” In an interview with our reporter after the christening service, Ajala who is also a senior officer in the Ekiti State Ministry of Education, said he held on to God and resisted attempts by some individuals to arrange a “secret wife” for him by those who had given up that his wife could bear him a child. He further disclosed that some suggested a visit to witch doctors to unravel the mystery behind the long delay in childbearing and get a solution which he rebuffed because of his faith in the living God. Ajala said:

    “So many people came to me and gave several advice. Some said that I was getting much older to the point of having grey hairs. They urged me to marry another woman. “Some even arranged a secret wife for me but I refused all these overtures because I believed in the promise of God that it would come to reality. Others suggested that I visit herbalists and other spiritualists but I refused because I believed only in the Lord Jesus Christ. We believed that there is a living God in our church, the Gospel Faith Mission International that answers prayer. “We are both ministers in the church, by God’s grace and we held on tenaciously to our faith in God.” On his advice for barren couples, Ajala said: “If I were to advise other couple still waiting on God for fruits of the womb, I will simply urge them to be just a little patient. This is because God has a better package for them.

    “He wants to answer their prayers in a better way. They shouldn’t be moved by pressures from both families, friends, relatives and what have you. It is only God who can answer their prayers. “His gifts are perfect and add no sorrow. By the time they wait on God, He would answer them in a bigger way and they will give all glory to Him. “For us to have been able to hold on till this time that God answered us, it has been by God’s grace and our closeness to His word which kept assuring us and the church has really helped us a lot.’’ Giving her testimony before the congregation, Folasade, 46, an indigene of Emure Ekiti, said the birth of the babies had put an end to her long wait for the fruit of the womb and given her a testimony. She said:

    “This is the handiwork of God and it is an evidence that God still answers prayer of those who wait on him. Despite the long delay, I didn’t lose hope and I never gave up believing that one day, my prayers will be answered. “During the period of waiting, some people used to wonder that they never saw me in a sorrowful mood. In fact, somebody asked my mother-in-law that what is wrong with me that whenever they were celebrating occasions, I was the first person that would be there. “The fellow said why am I so swift to celebrate with other people and also assist them to cook food to celebrate ceremonies and what is making me to be happy despite not being a mother yet.

    “But I told my mother-in-law that I have to celebrate with others so that they will celebrate with me. I told her that I must celebrate others so that they can celebrate me as well, that as I go to other people’s occasions, they will come and celebrate my own with me. “I told Mama that the person was reminding God to answer my prayer. That person was spurring God to answer me swiftly and I thank God for answering my prayer; God has done it for me eventually.

    “I want to thank God for giving me in-laws who stood by me throughout the difficult period. They supported me, encouraged me and prayed for me and today, we are all celebrating together. “I want to encourage couples that are still waiting for their children not to lose hope, if God can do it for us, God can also do it for them because children comes from God. They should hold on to God who has the power to turn around their situation for good.”

    Speaking on her challenges during the long wait, Folasade, who is a staff member of the State Universal Basic Education Board (SUBEB) said: “There were many challenges. One of them and very painful was during December period when I see other mothers buying many gifts for their children for the festivity. “In my place of work, I would see many parents buying gifts for their children. Many would be talking about what they are buying for their children and some would be saying that if one has no child in this world, his journey on earth is in vain. “So, I had heard so many unpalatable things about our condition from friends, colleagues at work and even church members. But I wasn’t discouraged or moved through the grace of God.

    “I wasn’t moved with such mockery and insults because I believed in God’s power, I have been praying and He had assured that He would do it. So, whenever I hear those things, I hold on to God’s promise. “That way, I didn’t entertain so much worry. Fortunately, there were no pressures from my in-laws. They supported us and were praying for us. They are very loving people.’’� Advising women who are still in her former condition, Mrs. Ajala said:

    “For women out there who are still expecting this bundle of joy, they should stick to God, strengthen their faith in Him. “They should therefore depend on God for their own miracle because, from my experience, I have come to know that there is no impossibility with God. Whatever He says He would do, He would surely do it.

    “The year we got married, God assured me that I would never be barren, so when this delay came, I didn’t doubt Him, I held unto His word and kept faith with it.

    “To those who have mocked us, derided us, and given wrong advice to us, we enjoin them to come closer to God and seek to know Him better, because if they had come to the knowledge of Christ, they wouldn’t have done such.”

  • WHY I WOULD LIKE TO MARRY AN ACTOR –KANNYWOOD ACTRESS RAHAMA SADAU

    WHY I WOULD LIKE TO MARRY AN ACTOR –KANNYWOOD ACTRESS RAHAMA SADAU

    Three years back, sultry Kannywood actress, Rahama Sadau, broke into the make-believe world and since then, there has been no stopping her. She plays the role of Binta, in EbonyLife TV’s sitcom, Sons of the Caliphate, which she says resonates with her personality.
    In this interview with OVWE MEDEME, the 23-year old thespian, who hails from Kaduna State, speaks about her decision to set up an all-girl production house, challenges she has surmounted, her latest project and other issues.

    HOW does it feel taking part in the Sons of the Caliphate?

    sahdu1It feels great. It’s like my dream is coming true. I’ve actually worked so hard for this and I’m so proud. I’m super excited today.

    So what does it mean to you, especially as you are being introduced to mainstream Nollywood?

    I have worked in several film productions in Nollywood but Sons of the Caliphate is a bit challenging because it was about 11 weeks of shoot, and I really enjoyed it. All the cast and crew were awesome. It is not something that is different from what we are doing. It’s just the change of language. Every other thing is the same; the production and everything.

    What were your most challenging moments during the shoot?

    Having me read my lines. It is not something that I do all the time. I’m more of the Hausa girl. So reading my lines was a bit challenging.

    Life of an actress up north, what is it like?

    It’s hard. It’s difficult but one just has to look in the way of positive things.

    How do you pull through?

    I put in a lot of focus, dedication and determination. And you just be yourself and avoid other things that will create problems or scandals for you, because you know, how the northern part is not the same like other places.

    What keeps you going in the light of all this?

    The fact that I come out to work every day and just do what I want to do is what keeps me going. And the love I’m receiving from fans, from friends and family is really motivating.

    Does the role you played in Sons of the Caliphate reflect in your life?

    Yes, a lot. The character, Binta, speaks more about me. It’s the centre of the story. You don’t get to see it earlier. But it speaks much about Rahama.

    Are you considering crossing over to mainstream Nollywood?

    I’ve already featured in several Nollywood productions, so it’s not like crossing over. It’s more about creating a balance between both industries because an actor is an actor, whether he acts in Bollywood, Russia or any other place.

    How would you compare Nollywood with the industry up north?

    Like I said, they are the same industries. The only challenges we have is that we have our own culture, norms and traditions that we can’t just go against. But everything is the same; the production, the set, and every other thing, including the story. You can actually turn Sons of the Caliphate from a northern story to an English one. You can tell from that.

    Do you see yourself as the kind of person who will want to change the northern culture?

    Well, we are born in this northern zone. You can’t say you will change culture. You just have to be careful with what you’re doing. And my own perception is that an actor is just an actor. It’s just like trying to portray an art for people to see. It has nothing to do with religion or anything of the sort. I’m just an actor.

    Why did you decide to go into acting?

    Let me just say I was born to be an actor. I’ve been dying to be an actor since when I was in secondary school. I participated in drama and clubs like that.

    When you decided to take it professional, did you meet any resistance from family?

    No. I came across a little difficulty because you know how the north is. Even to act in the northern zone is a problem because our people see it as something that isn’t normal. But today, I’m so proud. I’m like a role model to others and it’s fine. I’m okay with that.

    What did you study in school?

    I studied Business Administration at Kaduna State Polytechnic.

    Why aren’t you practicing your course of study?

    It was very difficult for me to balance school and acting because I actually joined the industry when I was in my second year. So it was difficult but I just had to do it.

    As a good looking woman, how do you handle the opposite sex?

    I’m just so dedicated and a hardworking that I don’t get to give attention to what you are talking about (laughs)

    Can you marry a fellow actor?

    Oh yes, so that he understands the job and he can allow me practice because if I marry someone who is not an actor, I would most likely have to stop acting. So I would like to marry an actor.

    Would you advise a typical northern girl to follow your footstep as a successful actress?

    Yes. I just recently launched my new production company and all of the crew members are female. It is deliberate because northern girls think they are women that are just kept aside. That can’t just make a move. We have talents; we have potentials in the North. But they are not given the opportunity to explode. And it’s not something bad. Just like I said, you can have restrictions. Being an actor doesn’t mean I would have to go nude to portray a character. That’s why I launched an all-girl production company. It is called Sadau Pictures.

    Are you married?

    No I’m not.

    Are you seeing someone?

    Oh my God. I’m just 23 (laughs). You can ask me these questions when I blow. For now, I’m just trying to act.

    When you decided to take acting as a career, how did your parents accept the decision?

    At first they were against it. But today, my mum is so proud. When she saw me on Super Story, she was like, that is my girl. So I have the support of my family and that is all I need.

    What would you say is one of the highpoints of your career?

    Working on set.

    Is there a particular production that is dearest to your heart?

    Sons of the Caliphate of course, because that’s the longest production I’ve been on in my career with 11 weeks of shoot. It was so challenging, amazing, and super fun. We just became family all of a sudden because we were stuck in one place. I love the story as well.

    If you were not an actress, what would you have been?

    I probably would have been a model.

    What is your major put off?

    That would be when I lack support.

    Who is your best friend?

    My mum, because she always calls me, telling me that she just finished cooking, asking me to come back home to eat, whether I’m abroad, or in Lagos. She doesn’t care. She’s always my comedy friend.

    How do you think a typical Hausa girl who wants to pursue her dreams can rise up against certain stereotypes?

    Well, you can tell when you watch Sons of the Caliphate because the story was trying to portray a Hausa girl who doesn’t want to go against the norms and traditions of the northerners. You can tell from that. She doesn’t do nasty things. She doesn’t do anything that is beyond what the people would say or against what the people would complain about.

    Talking about stereotypes, is it as bad as it is being painted about the girl child?

    No, it’s not actually. These days, people watch movies mostly on YouTube and we don’t have that internet popularity yet. We are still more on DVD. So what you’re watching are films of the 90s. People hardly get to see us the way we are now. We grew up and we moved on. We live the same lives as you do.

    Don’t you think your industry should begin to explore ways so they can measure up?

    Yes, I think we should but that would be up to the filmmakers and the producers.

  • Will you marry me?

    WINNING is the best thing about the Olympics as the difference in weight and value between the first, second and third prizes of gold, silver and bronze evince. But not everyone triumphs, and when they don’t, they are at least expected to demonstrate the spirit of sportsmanship.

    The latter is more observed in principle than practice, however. Contrast, for example, the reaction of Chinese swimmer, Fu Yuanhui, upon learning that she won bronze after the women’s 100 metre backstroke final at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games and Dutch sprinter, Dafne Schippers, after her second place finish in the 200 metres.

    Given the good news by a reporter, Yuanhui cupped her face with her hands, widened her eyes in amazement to say: “I came third?!” and went off muttering “In that case, it’s not bad at all!”

    It was not bad either for Schippers, who finished fifth in the 100m earlier, but she shrugged and scowled at the interviewer’s probe of what the feat meant to her. “Nothing. I came here for gold.”

    Between the two reactions, and no less remarkable, was a rower’s near-speechless response to his post-competition pose. Questioned by a reporter on the source of his laid-back attitude after hectic competition rewarded by a podium finish, he managed to say: “I left all my powers in the water.”

     

    Romance at the Games

    Everyone else, from losing athlete to analyst and the aficionado, managed to come away with something from the gold rush in the course of the 17-day competition across 28 sports. While the athletes raced into history, and spectators erupted in lusty cheer, pundits updated the record books and viewers raced against time to catch highlights on TV.

    And what a spectacle the Games offered from its August 5 launch. Added to the multinational colour was the multicultural connection, specifically marriage proposals. The first came early in the Games when Brazilian women’s rugby sevens player, Isadora Cerullo, was asked for her hand in marriage by her girlfriend, Marjorie Enya, in front of a boisterous stadium after the Brazil squad had been knocked out of the competition.

    It was followed by Chinese diver, Qin Kai, who proposed to his teammate and girlfriend, He Zi, during the medal presentation ceremony of her silver medal dive in the women’s springboard. She had tears in her eyes after, though many noted that it took a while for a smile to replace the look of shock on her face.

    Moments after winning a silver medal in triple jump, American Will Claye leapt into the stands, dropped to a knee and proposed to his longtime girlfriend, hurdler Queen Harrison. British race walker, Tom Bosworth, chose the night after his 20km race to propose to his boyfriend against the more serene background of Rio’s Copacabana beach and later tweeted a photo of the occasion.

    Another proposal ensued when Britain’s Charlotte Dujardin finished her high-scoring freestyle dressage test. As she earned her second Equestrian gold, cameras zoomed in on her long-time partner in the stands holding up a sign saying: “Will you marry me now?”

    Every proposal was greeted with a ‘yes’, prompting a global outpouring of emotion as many celebrated the colourful and grand romantic gesture. Critics, however, insisted that the act put vast amounts of pressure on the would-be spouse and detracted from his or her sporting achievements. Others viewed it as a publicity stunt or sexist act that undermined the sunject’s sporting prowess.

    But experts thought post-win engagements or wedding dates believable as high-performance athletes often put their personal lives on hold, given the intensity of training focus required to succeed in the Olympics (a nod to suggestions that the golden moment outweighs the athletes’ accomplishments).

    For related reasons, gymnast Simone Biles grabbed the headlines. The five-medal winner (including four golds) flirted on the social media all through the Games with self-confessed admirer, Brazilian Olympic gymnast, Arthur Mariano, and American movie star, Zac Efron.

    Probably the athlete to feature most in photographs with fellow competitors, the Rio 2016 breakout star caused more than a stir through selfies with her ‘Brazilian boyfriend’ and disclosure of Efron’s life-size poster before asking the actor to visit the athletes in Rio. He obliged.

    Efron said he was in the audience cheering on Biles and teammate Aly Raisman as they won gold and silver in the floor exercise final. Afterwards, Biles said on Twitter: “Just call me Mrs. Efron already.”

     

    Controversy and the Games

    Despite fears of a troubled Games, on account of political upheaval in Brazil and public disenchantment with costs and security before the Games, the athletes came prepared. After meticulous preparations, nothing would douse the flame of ambition.

    The crowds yelled, and the records fell. The United States of America dominated from start to finish, ending the competition with 46 gold medals, 37 silver and 38 bronze for a total of 121. The latest model of consistency after its London 2012 feat of 29 gold medals, Great Britain edged rising superpower, China (which finished with 26 golds of a 70-medal total) for the second position.

    Host Brazil lugged a creditable 19 medals with seven of them gold while Kenya, with six golds and 13 in total, led the African charge. South Africa’s two golds out of 10 medals and Ethiopia’s one of eight followed by Ivory Coast’s one gold and one bronze left Nigeria, with the men’s soccer (football) bronze, wallowing with the minnows at 78th on the medal table.

    As usual with Games, and in tandem with the human element in split-second assessment, controversy lingered. Refereeing decisions in the technical scoring of events, notably boxing, drew blatant condemnation.

    Feeling robbed of qualification in the men’s bantamweight quarter-finals, Irish boxer, Michael Conlan, ‘awarded’ the judges of his 56 kg fight the two-finger salute with a foul-mouthed rant for good measure. Conlan, who won bronze at London 2012 and hoped for a better finish in Rio, was beaten by Russian Vladamir Nikitin despite dominating. He called amateur boxing’s governing body AIBA ‘corrupt’.

    It was the second disputed win for Nikitin at the Games after he squeezed through the round of 16 bout over Thai fighter Chatchai Butdee.

     

    Underperformance cause and effect

    In the end, the long-limbed duo of Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps, who both announced their retirement from the Games, stood out. The Jamaican reached a triple treble with a repeat of Beijing 2008 and London 2012 golds in the 100, 200 and 400 metre relay races while the American stretched his unprecedented haul from the pool when he led the U.S. to victory in the 400-meter medley relay at the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.

    Phelps finished a career that covered five Olympics with 28 medals, 23 of them gold. Next best is a handful of athletes on nine gold medals including Bolt.

    While the world ponders the fate of the Games after the exit of the super athletes, none should bet on their feats remaining unsurpassed. With constant improvements in training, diet and genetic engineering, the Olympian of the future looks set to run faster, throw further, jump higher and lift stronger.

    The bet, instead, is on Nigeria. Rated the largest economy in Africa until recently, the country attracted mostly negative press en route to a hard-earned men’s football bronze in Rio. From rumoured official encouragement of self-help in sponsorship to pre-tournament logistics, Nigeria’s contingent stewed in endless fiasco.

    Considering antecedents, the continental powerhouse and potential giant in nearly everything else was overrated. How on earth could the country compete keenly in Rio when the transportation of 22 footballers from a training camp in ‘nearby’ Atlanta, USA stretched the national psyche and purse?

    The arrival of Team Nigeria kits for the Games less than 48 hours to the closing ceremony illustrated the haplessness that fetched the sympathy of Japanese philanthropist and football enthusiast, Katsuya Takasu. The uproar generated by camping logistics and the Japanese plastic surgeon’s $390, 000 succour to the Dream Team VI and its handlers at the end underscored a poverty of thought.

    Through official ineptitude, mainly, the sight of foreign competitors unpacking odd-shaped sport equipment at Rio de Janeiro’s international airport or assembling them at competition venues probably confounded the average Nigerian as much as the terminology in technical events.

    What, for instance, is the difference between Foil, Épée and Sabre in Fencing, and what exactly is a Vibration dampener used for in Archery? Few, for that matter, would know what Arabesque stands for in Gymnastics or what a Kip represents in Trampolining.

    While Asian entrants matched their North American and European counterparts on the Olympic stage, gear for gear, move for move and whoop for whoop, the African, nay, Nigerian competitor stuck to popular, time-tested events where technique or equipment seemed to matter less.

     

    Solution for 2020 and beyond

    Elite participation in football and athletics require more than typical Nigerian spirit (or brawn). The appointment of neophytes into administration by quota system or the release of funds two weeks before a four-year competition depicts a shocking lack of ambition.

    As their victors showed to triple treble, double double and other multiple medal effect, better technique marks the difference. Rio, and possibly Tokyo in four years, would always present a bonanza for officials and a jamboree for Team Nigeria regardless of official posture.

    It is an outcome substantiated by Tosin Oke’s experience. The triple jumper spoke of his frustration at obtaining a refund for transportation from his base. He succeeded in ‘chasing’ Team Nigeria officials for a refund in Rio more than his original dream of Olympic gold.

    Compared to the industrialised nations that led the Rio 2016 Olympics medals count, Nigeria punched below its weight. It may help to adopt an objective approach similar to Great Britain’s. In the wake of a disastrous showing at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics where Team GB won a single gold medal and finished 36th overall, the country instituted a ruthlessly efficient, however controversial, sports funding program.

    British officials base their funding decisions on a sport’s likelihood of winning medals on the biggest stage. If a sports program fails to produce the expected number of medals at the Olympics, funding is cut while programs that exceed quotas are rewarded with additional money.

    Without commensurate revamp of methods and funding, a rehash of American-born Nigerian sprinter, Regina George’s self-help towards Rio 2016 sponsorship on personal fundraising website, gofundme.com appears plausible in four years.

    To the Olympic motto of ‘faster, higher, and stronger’, as proposed by Pierre de Coubertin upon the creation of the International Olympic Committee in 1894, the Nigerian sports fan may meanwhile add ‘hopefully’.

  • Much ado about who to marry

    One of the pieces of advice on marriage I owe my three male children is that they must not marry a lazy lady. Lazy in the sense that she is not good or willing to learn how to perform basic household chores.

    She can’t wash, can’t clean, can’t cook and do any major home duties women are expected to do.

    Having been brought up by their mother who is a workaholic and most times I have to advise her to do less, I am too sure my boys  will find it hard to cope with a lazy wife.

    Young men are usually advised not to compare their wife with their mother, but it will be hard for them not to considering that some mothers, like my wife, are as eminently qualified and exposed, if not more, than some ladies of today who don’t understand what it is to be a wife or mother.

    My wife is usually the last to sleep in the house and the first to wake up. When you see her at work in the house, one cannot but feel guilty about leaving her to do so much.  When I ask how I can help, her response is usually, with what, cook?

    With the children away from home now, I sometimes have to insist on helping out, even if it is with the vegetables before being cooked.

    Agreed that there is more to being a wife than being able to ‘cook, wash and clean’, there are just some basic assignments a woman must be able to do even if she can afford to employ aides to do it.

    Too many cases of divorces these days and marital crises are somehow linked with the inability of some women to be in charge of their homes. When too many things are left to house helps to do, some husbands find it difficult to differentiate between the ‘madam’ of the house and the helper.

    The above narrative is informed by the controversy over the advice the General Overseer of Redeemed Christian Church of God, (RCCG), Pastor E. A. Adeboye, recently gave on marriage.

    He was quoted to have said at the just-concluded Convention of the Church that men should not marry a lady who cannot cook, wash and pray for at least an hour. Ladies were also admonished no to marry a man who is jobless.

    Ordinarily, the advice should not have generated any controversy considering that Pastor Adeboye spoke at a closed session with ministers of the Church. The advice was meant for only members of the Church and not general members of the public who do not believe in the doctrine of the Church.

    However, in the present global village we live in, the private conversation with your wife in the bedroom can become a debate on social media.

    Pastor Adeboye is definitely not one of those men of God whose judgement cannot be trusted on an important issue like marriage. He sure knows what to say when offering advice on marriage being a successfully married man himself for decades and a revered shepherd of his flocks.

    Apart from the issue of being able to pray for an hour which should not be too much for a devoted Christian wife, Pastor Adeboye’s advice is not different from what many parents insist on as basis for their children to choose their wives.

    I asked a lady in our office if she can marry a man who has no job. Her reply was that she cannot even date a jobless man. A man without a job today can definitely find one later or become prosperous in future, but marriage should not be his priority until the issue of what to do to earn a living and be able to cater for his family is clearly resolved.

    Young men can always claim to be contemporary in their thinking but most of them end up expecting their wives to be the kind of ‘cooking, washing, prayerful’ their mothers is or was.

    It’s up to my boys to decide who they want to marry, but I know them too well to know that their wives will have a lot to learn from my super woman wife.

  • ‘You must marry your wife’s corpse’

    ‘You must marry your wife’s corpse’

    Hours after the birth of her twin girls, Margaret Emmanuel gave up the ghost, leaving her husband with the twins and their three grown-up siblings. To make matters worse, Margaret’s family in Ebonyin are demanding that Emmanuel fulfils a vital aspect of their culture before the burial ceremonies even commence. Taiwo Abiodun reports.

    At first it was congratulations and celebration galore as Madam Margaret Emmanuel was delivered of a set of beautiful twin girls.  But few hours after, the joyful mood turned sour and mourning took over, as news filtered in that mother of the twins had passed on. She gave up the ghost on her way to the hospital, living the twins behind without the very vital motherly care. It also marked the beginning of the trauma of her husband and father of the twins, Mr. Adejo Emmanuel. Aside being shattered by the news, he was suddenly faced with a somewhat insurmountable challenge of weaning two infants alone. But the trauma did not end there, only Emmanuel didn’t know at this point in time.

    While lamenting his predicament, Emmanuel said, “My life is like a balloon that was punctured with a pin, which immediately deflated it of all the joy. When a woman is pregnant the prayer is to hear the babies’ cries and that of the mother’s joy; but now the mother is gone, leaving the babies,” Emmanuel said, sobbing.

    That was the story of the Emmanuel family last December 21. As if the agony was not enough, the deceased’s family members sent a message to the husband that he has to obey their custom and tradition by performing certain rituals and rites. Chief amongst these rights includes performing the mandatory marriage ceremonies with the deceased wife, an activity the couple had failed to perform while the late Margaret was alive. Without that, they told him that he is barred from coming to his wife’s village in Akenze, Ebonyin State, let alone, burying the corpse.

    Emmanuel, a peasant farmer in his mid-50s is thus being called upon to go through wedding ceremonies with his late wife’s corpse. Coming from Emmanuel’s Igala ethnic background, this is rather bizarre and unimaginable. He lamented, “I don’t know what went wrong and I don’t know my sin. Like any other fellow Christian, when everybody was preparing for Christmas, I was preparing as well, both for a merry Christmas, safe delivery for my wife and a successful naming ceremony for the babies; not knowing that I had another thing coming.”

    Late Margaret’s last moment

    Narrating his wife’s last moment, Emmanuel said he suddenly saw his wife at Ugbagbo farm in Owo, where he was working unannounced. “When I saw her, I scolded her and asked why she came all the way to the farm, because she was already heavy and ready to deliver. I also asked why she did not go to the hospital instead of coming to the farm to meet me. Of course, this was not her first pregnancy, as she had previously had four children before this pregnancy. To compound matters, there was no vehicle to take her back to town that evening. We therefore waited till the second day. However she went into labour in between and was delivered of the twin girls. She was attended to by Traditional Birth Attendants, but the placenta did not come out. We quickly got her into a vehicle and headed for the General Hospital at Oke-Ogun in Owo. Unfortunately she did not make it, as she gave up the ghost at the entrance of the hospital. I noticed that her condition had worsened and she was getting dizzy. She thus got to the hospital, dead. To say the least, I was devastated. I became confused and almost ran mad. The nurses, who knew her, were surprised that she went to the farm instead of the hospital. She was well known at the hospital, because that was where she had all her children. She had also attended antenatal there.”

    Twins under custody

    Honourable Segun Obasekola, a Councillorship aspirant in Igboroko Nla Street, Owo and landlord of No 44, Igboroko Nla Street, where the family resides, said he pitied the man, Emmanuel for losing his wife at childbirth: “When they approached me for a room and I discovered they had no money, I have no choice but to allow them use the room free-of-charge. I did not know anyone of them, but as a community leader and a man with milk of kindness, I think this is one way I can render help. Here a Good Samaritan, Mrs. Femisola Akilamilo is taking care of the twins. Mrs. Akinlamilo, a prophetess who is also called Mother of Children (Iya Ewe) in her Cherubim and Seraphim Church.”

    When The Nation got to 44, Igboroko Nla Street, the woman and the babies were found in a room, where she takes care of them.

    Speaking, the twins’ guardian Madam Akinlamilo said she was called by a church member to come and assist the motherless children who had just been delivered. She said: “My cell phone just rang last December 23 (2015), and a friend broke the news that a mother of twins had just died and there was nobody to take care of them. She added that since I am a mother of kids in the church, I should try and assist in taking care of the babies. He also said I would be given stipends. So I obliged. I am a widow, I have four children and my last child is 11 years old. Since I am not under any man’s roof, I gladly accepted the role of a guardian, as God sent me.”

    Asked if she breast-feeds the babies, the woman declared in a touching voice, “There is no milk in my breasts anymore, but the nurses and doctors have recommended their food (SMA). They consume a tin of the baby food within three days, but their father is a poor farmer; so when I ran out of their food, I went to Alhaji Jamiu Ekungba, a gubernatorial aspirant in Ondo State and narrated the story to him in order to solicit his to assistance. I also met one Mr. Jide Tububo, who advised me to go to the press and do the necessary legal papers, for I was ignorant of all such stuff. As I speak, we have no food to give them today, because they have exhausted what we had in stock.”

    Asked whether she had intimated the welfare office or the police that she is in custody of the babies, Mrs. Akinlamilo became a bit jittery and said, “I am ignorant of that. I am just acting as a Good Samaritan; I don’t know that I should report to the Welfare Office or the police. Please can you enlighten me more to avoid any problems,” she pleaded with this reporter.  Mrs. Akinlamilo said she is appealing to the state government and NGOs to come to the twins’ aide.”

    In the course of this discussion, Emmanuel, father of the twins came in with a tin of SMA baby food. He announced with relish that he just bought one tin from the money given to him.

    Many rivers to cross

    Now the corpse of the late Margaret has been deposited at the mortuary while preparation is on the way to go to Akenze in Ebonyi State to officially announce the news of his wife’s demise and also perform the necessary rituals and rites. But there still is a snag. Emmanuel has no money.

    He said: “The family of my late wife have asked me to come and do marriage ceremonies h my wife and come up with the sum of 350,000 naira before anything could even take off. Where would I get the money from? I am confused. They should pity my condition and understand that I’m still taking care of her four children. Three of them are in secondary school, not to talk of the twins,” he said.

    So while Margaret’s corpse lies in the mortuary, Emmanuel is confused and disturbed, as he is facing three hurdles: “I have no money to pay for the mortuary; I also have no money to feed the children; and my in-laws are demanding for the death certificate of their daughter, which they say I must bring along whenever I am coming. They also say it is compulsory for me to come over and do a compulsory marriage with her before she could be buried. They say some rituals must be performed and 350,000 naira must be paid to her family as part of her bride-price, before talking about the burial at all. Where do I get the money from? Am I not in trouble now?”

    According to Emmanuel, his in-laws don’t even want to entertain or listen to any excuse or explanation; all they care about is for him to fulfil all the necessary requirements.

    Asked how he met his wife, Emmanuel replied that, “You can meet your wife anywhere, so far there is love and the woman agrees to marry you. I am from Idah in Igala, Kogi State, and we met here in Owo, Ondo State. I never knew this is what I would face.”

  • 3 guys you must never marry

    Today, I feel led to share a secret my grandmother shared with me way back when I was a kid. She said: “There are three kinds of men you must never marry; a lazy man, a stingy man, and a drunk”. You might want to say that my grandma belonged to the old school and did not know what she was talking about, but guess what? With the benefit of age, experience, and research, I discovered that grandma was right. Let me explain why.

    1. The lazy man: God made women to be help mates, not room mates. The lazy man is the man who is too lazy to go out and get a job, his excuse? There are no jobs because the economy is bad. Even though he has a degree or learnt a trade, he can’t get or keep a job. Advise him to start a business, and he will give you one hundred reasons the business will not work, even though other people are doing the same business, and doing well at it. He might claim to want a wife, but does not really want one. What he really wants is a female husband. Why? He has no interest in working to provide for anyone, preferring to find himself a woman to provide for him. It reminds me of a friend whose husband does not pay the rent, or provide for the kids, rather she sends money to him abroad from time to time. When I asked her why she married him, she, “Because he is good in bed.” I wonder how much sex she is getting in a long distance marriage.
    2. The stingy man: The stingy man is not necessarily poor, but is simply a man who thinks that any money he spends on anyone but himself is a waste of money. I will never forget a guy I know who wears the latest, and most expensive clothes, gold jewelry, drives nice cars, and uses the most expenses gadgets. Unfortunately, he can never buy a lady dinner or gifts, yet wants to marry a fine girl. Trust Nigerian babes, he is close to 50 without a wife in sight. Babes, wise up and give a stingy guy space, except you are ready to live in want, in the midst of plenty.
    3. The drunk: This is the guy who has nothing else on his mind except his next drink. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying it is wrong to drink, but when it is the most important thing in his life, it becomes a problem. Such a man prefers to spend his money on booze, leaving the bills unpaid. He does not pay rent, school fees, or buy food. Wise babes will do well to keep well away. Obviously, he is not really marriage material. Ladies need to decide what is important to them, a husband or a liability? Take the time to study your admirers before deciding to accept.
  • Woman: he charmed me to marry him

    •Man: we were fornicators before marriage

    A 55-year-old trader, Mrs Maria Olasode, has accused her husband, Michael, of charming her to marry him.

    Mrs Olasode, who lives at Nurein Akinola Street, Alagbado, said Olasode’s charm made her left her former husband for him.

    She also accused her husband of shirking his responsibilities as the head of the family.

    She prayed an Alakuko Customary Court, Lagos to dissolve their union.

    The respondent, Olasode, 62, denied using charm to lure her, saying “we were both fornicating in our previous marriages before we got married and since then we have been together.”

    Mrs Olasode said since they got married 30 years ago, her husband has never given her a kobo, saying she single handedly took the responsibility of everything in their home including their children’s education.

    “I can’t read and write. Since I couldn’t watch my children grow in that path, I worked so hard for them to succeed and now, I am glad two are graduates,” she said.

    She lamented that her husband has never strived to become man of his own but prefers to be ordered around.

    The mother of three said: “When my husband knew I had completed my building, he moved to my place and since then, he has been overseeing my shop. It is whatever he gives me from sales I collect and I have never questioned him but I know he steals from me. I spend on him still he doesn’t show concern about my wellbeing.”

    She further said she has been nursing several sicknesses for six years and that there was a time her husband spent 27 days with her in a hospital but after her discharge, she was shocked when he requested for N70,000 as payment for the days he spent with her.

    “I once set up a block business for him. I bought a big generating set, deep freezers and other appliances. To my surprise, within few months, he was back to my shop. It was later I got to know my husband powered the generator set with kerosene instead of diesel. I have never seen his kind of person before.

    “Coupled with so many things I can’t remember. When I am sick, he beats me. He has never seen me as his priority. Recently I told him I couldn’t lift myself but he ignored me. He is just praying I die. Should I die, everything I have worked for belongs to our children not him,” she said.

    Olasode also denied beating his wife.

    “She has been a good wife and mother. It got to a stage people thought I was the owner of her shop because I was always there. She doesn’t get angry. The only time she got angered was when she got me arrested because I spent from sales to entertain my friends,” he said.

    “I still love her. If she insists she wants me out of her life, she should please rent an apartment for me because I can’t return to my previous wife. I will change,” he pleaded.

    The court’s President, Mr Olubode Sekoni, fixed a mediation session for the couple and adjourned the matter till September 7.