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  • The knife: A prayer for mothers

    The knife: A prayer for mothers

    • By Muti’at Oba

    One request, one single request is all I ask of you: please say amen to these prayers: May you deliver your baby by yourself. May the Good Lord give you the strength to push your baby out by yourself. May they not use ‘the knife’ to cut you open to bring out your baby.

    Chances are you have heard those prayers said to pregnant women around you. I have had the traditional delivery once, and I have been under the surgeon’s knife four times. Yes, four Caesarean sections; four bikini cuts on the very same spot, giving a single scar.

    My one and only traditional delivery was a difficult one resulting in a child living with cerebral palsy. CP is caused by a specific type of damage to the brain that is usually suffered during a traumatic or difficult childbirth. Years later, I was set to push again. It was a smooth pregnancy and I was better prepared for its delivery. I had a pile of books and magazines— ‘Every Woman’, ‘Pregnancy & Birth’, ‘Mother & Baby’, ‘Practical Parenting’. I read them all.

    But somehow, I skipped the C-Section segments, not because I had a bias against ‘the knife’, but because I was confident that since I had pushed once, I would definitely be able to push a second time. Right? Not quite!

    At about 7pm on Friday, January 3, 2003, my husband and I arrived at the hospital in Ikeja, Lagos, and I walked calmly to the receptionist and said, “Please I need someone to examine me. I think I’m in labour.” I was examined, and the midwife was excited that I was already half-way gone. Yes, I was 5cm dilated. My gynecologist broke my water, set the intravenous line to induce my labour, and I was wheeled into the labour room.

    They all estimated that my baby would arrive by 10 pm. A nurse brought out the baby’s clothes and toiletries, laid the baby cot and moved it into my private room. My gynecologist lived close to the hospital, so she went home and was periodically checking in with the nurses.

    It was meant to be an easy and uncomplicated delivery. And so it seemed initially, for I had reached 8cm by 9pm. Good progress! But by midnight, I remained at 8cm! Remember I was induced. Hence the strong and painful contractions were coming with full force. 10 cm full dilation eluded me!

    And my husband? He was a complete mess! While I was going crazy from the pain, he was going crazy from the trauma of watching his darling wife in pain. He kept saying, “My dear, no more kids after this!” And I, even while in the throes of pain, had replied, “The next one would be by CS”. The nurse with me snapped at me, “Don’t call bad things to yourself!”

    Clearly, my nurse, irrespective of the fact that she was working in a big and reputable hospital, irrespective of her daily exposure to the patients who frequently got the CS done, was one of the strongly biased ones who pray fervently against the knife! 

    At 2am, the ambulance was first sent to pick my gynaecologist from her Ikeja home. She arrived in no time. Next, to pick the Anaesthetist from his Ketu home. The head security of his street at his place of residence was nowhere to be found. The anaesthetist was ready to be picked on this side of the gate while the ambulance to pick him was waiting on the other side.

    In the meantime, I was almost going numb from the frequent and painful contractions while my husband was a bundle of nerves. They considered sedating him just to restrain him, but they needed him to agree to the price and to sign the consent form. N120,000 in January 2003 was a lot of money! “I will pay. I will sign. Just get this surgery done now!” my husband said anxiously.

    The Anaesthetist finally arrived at a few minutes shy of 5am, and I was wheeled into the theatre for an emergency C-Section at 5:05am. The last thing I heard was his voice: what is your name? I’d drowsily replied, saying my Yoruba name, Ronke… and I was out…

    My 3.6kg baby boy was brought out at 5:15am on Saturday, January 4, 2003. A baby we almost lost. He had stayed too long in the birth canal and had ingested a lot of impurities and developed respiratory distress.

    Two years later, I was pregnant again. At my 28th week antenatal checkup, I’d curiously asked my doctor if the popular myth is true, the one which says “Once a CS, always CS”. My doctor replied, “No, it is twice CS, always CS. In your case, we will allow you to go into labour. However, we would all be on standby for a C-section, just in case and also to avoid the emergency situation of the last time”.

    Then she’d added, “On second thought, let’s schedule you for a pelvic examination.” I did the pelvic scan, and at my next appointment, she held up the x-ray, looked at my big tummy, looked at the x-ray again and said, “Mrs. Oba, you will not be able to push this baby out by yourself, you’ll be scheduled for an elective C-section. Let’s look at the calendar to pick the date for your surgery.”

    That was how the myth was true for me for a totally different reason which was discovered in the pelvic scan. The big baby in my tummy wouldn’t be able to pass through! No wonder! So that was why I did not progress beyond 8cm during the previous delivery!

    Truth be told, I had the tendency to have big babies. Obviously, my first must have suffered the trauma of forcible passage during that difficult delivery, which scathed him for life!

    Why are women declining this surgery?’ is an article published by ‘BBC Feature’ in June 2019. Quoting from it: “Nigeria has one of the world’s highest maternal mortality rates. One reason? Patients often decline C-sections, even when it could save lives.”

    The article further quoted statistics from the World Health Organisation: “Across Nigeria, 58,000 women die in childbirth every year, giving the country the world’s fourth highest maternal mortality rate, partly because of the country’s low Caesarean rate: just 2%. The global rate is 21%”. To effectively prevent maternal mortality, a country’s Caesarean rate shouldn’t be below 5%.”

    Why are women declining this surgery? The why was ‘THE KNIFE’ specifically mentioned in the prayer. Why did the nurse say to me, “Don’t call bad things to yourself!” Two major reasons: FEAR’ & STIGMA! The preggies themselves are afraid and the male relatives who should reassure them and give consent are also afraid. They fear that by consenting, they are sentencing their loved ones to death.

    No! It is not a death sentence! It is an intervention in a difficult situation in order to prevent it from getting worse. Please everyone should learn about it! Knowledge is power. Stigma, on the other hand, the saddest part about it is, it is women who joyfully stigmatise their fellow sisters. Not all, but some. They believe that if you don’t push your baby out by yourself, you are not considered a real mother. If you do not go through the throes of labour pain, you are lazy and you took the easy way out.

    “Motherhood is so much more than the day your baby is born. Your birth experience does not define you; giving birth is not the endgame”. These soothing words were spoken by Ashlee Gadd, author of The Magic of Motherhood.

    Gbemisola, a mother of two, is my friend and my former colleague. She was my permanent seat-mate in the staff bus during the daily rides to and from work many years ago.

    In 2011, she was pregnant for her first son; it was during one of those terrible traffic days on Ajah route, Lagos while going home from work that l’d said to her, “Gbemi, if the doctor recommends the CS, please don’t hesitate.”

    Read Also: Only wives, mothers deserve men’s money – Reno Omokri

    Bright Color Mom said & I quote, “Having to have a C-section does not mean my body is inadequate. It does not mean a mistake was made when I was created. Nobody is perfect at all things. I am just blessed to have had an alternative way for my child to enter the world”.

    When she put to bed a bouncing baby boy in November 2011 and I went to see them at the hospital, the first thing Gbemi said to me was, “Alhaja, I am immensely grateful to you that you told me to be open minded about the C-section.”

    Finally, fellow toastmasters and friends, fellow consent givers and decision makers, and of course my darling sisters, do you know that there is a 4th prayer? Again, please say amen. May we hear the voices of both mother and baby.

    Above piece was Muti’at Oba’s Area 15 entry for Toastmaster’s 2024 International Contest

  • Mothers, arise!

    Mothers, arise!

    Text: “Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons …… said, Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right hand and the other at your left in your kingdom”. (Matthew 20:20, 21)

    Every nation is a product of her motherhood. The resultant effect of mothers, when they are devoid of knowledge of their divine responsibilities, is that, the national space will be fraught with louts, thugs, hooligans, bad leaders in positions of authority and with the citizenry groping in the dark without knowledge of right life direction. Any society that is filled with badly behaved, rotten, ill-mannered, haughty, uncontrollable and indisciplined citizenry is an obvious failure of motherhood. Mothers, arise to your divine responsibilities! The passage of our text brings it to the fore the life of a mother who had knowledge of her divine responsibilities, a mother who latched unto her duties as a mother and was duly compensated by God. One day, the woman, Salome, wife of Zebedee, and mother of James and John, brought her two sons to Jesus Christ and made a request of Him to position them on his left and right sides in His kingdom. When the ten other disciples, children of mothers that were not alive to their spiritual responsibilities, mothers that were never heard of or seen all through the time their children were with Jesus Christ, knew what happened, they were upset with the two disciples.

    Beloved mother, are you alive to your responsibility as a mother like Salome? What type of mother are you? Are you a baby who is rearing indisciplined and ill-mannered children? What type of wife are you? Are you proud in your relationship with your husband, and consequently disobeying God? Mothers, arise! Where are the Ruths in the church? Where  are the women who are loving, respectful and caring to their mothers in law? Where are the mothers that will say to their mother-in -law like Ruth “Incline me not to leave you. Where you go, I will go. Your people shall be my people and your God shall be my God”? (Ruth 1:16,17). Where are the “Jochebeds”, mothers who will sacrifice all to preserve the lives of their children, do everything to assist them fulfill divine purpose and free her family from the captivity of Egypt? (Exodus 1,2). Where are the sacrificial mothers like Esther that will be selfless and at the risk of their own lives would say to the family “I will go and meet the King, If I perish I perish”? (Esther 4:16). Where are the selfless mothers like Dorcas, the Shunamite women and the widow of Zarephath?

    Read Also: Mothers and Your Full restoration

    As mothers, you have divine responsibilities. God expects you to live lives that are worthy of emulation by people under your watch and care (1 Timothy 4:12; Titus 2:3,4). God wants you to be examples in humility, righteousness and right living. Abraham Lincoln said, “I remember my mother’s prayer and they have always helped me”. You are expected to provide leadership in the home and be models in Godly living, and not only as fashion models. You are duty-bound to match your words with your walk. You are to be very deliberate trainers (Proverbs 22:6) and lead your household to take responsibilities. You must guide your children to be able to stand alone in life and avoid absolute delegation of the care of your household to house helps and drivers. Give space for your children to know how to wash cars, cook and do their laundry. You must also be involved with their lives, know the type of films they watch and the online sites they patronize. It is important for you to know and befriend their friends, because association determines destination. You must teach them about the temporality of this world and let them know about eternity, morals, humility, kindness, holiness, diligence, respect to elders, faith, patience, time consciousness and management, service to God, philanthropic works (Proverbs 19:17) etc.

    Kindly be informed that a mother who will be appreciated at the integrative stage of her life must be disliked by the children at the formative and normative stages of their lives. Like Salome, you must be sacrificial and be willing to give your comfort, time, talents and treasure for your household. You must also be disciplinarians (Proverbs 22:15, 23:13) and set family laws and boundaries (Proverbs 1:8, 6:20). You are obligated to be a woman of prayers. You must be discretional with trust (Jeremiah 17:5,6) and view of the fact that we are in that perilous time (2 Timothy 3:1-4), you must be watchful of that uncle, aunty, sister or brother, driver, house help, pastor, evangelist and deliverance minister you entrust your children to.

    In conclusion, all husbands and children are duty bound to reciprocate the sacrifices of mothers and take care of them, honor and let them how much you appreciate them. Don’t wait till their passage before you write nicely worded tributes about them and commence renovation work on their buildings. Please indulge the mothers in your life with befitting lives and not befitting burials, celebrate them when they are alive, buy them cars, build houses for them, purchase good clothes for them and place them on monthly allowances. As you do all these, God will prosper your ways and grant you long life, and Nigeria shall be a better place for us all in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Prayer: Lord, give us hearts to do your biddings as mothers, children and parents in the name of Jesus Christ

  • Mothers and Your Full restoration

    Mothers and Your Full restoration

    Text:  Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons …… said, Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right hand and the other at your left in your kingdom. (Matthew 20:20, 21)

    One of the principal promises of God in the Year 2024 is that there shall be full restoration in lives, homes, marriages, enterprises and nations. This promised full restoration shall herald a new song, a new beginning, surprising elevations, economic revivals, financial breakthroughs, unstoppable dancing and endless rejoicing for all that are yours this year in the name of Jesus Christ (Joel 2:25). It is therefore apt to ask if you are you experiencing challenging times or finding it difficult to make ends meet, please note that it is not over with you. This is your year of full  restoration. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). Your morning of joy is here. You are going to bounce back to health and prosperity. God is going to restore you physically, occupationally, economically and spiritually in the name of Jesus Christ.

    From our text, Salome, mother of James and John, came to Jesus Christ with her two sons, James and John. She made a plea, not for herself or for any personal benefit but, for seats in His kingdom for her two sons. She was selfless, good and kind. As a result of her plea, the destinies of the sons were changed for good and were fully restored. Her two children, James and John, were of the inner caucus in the ministry of Jesus Christ alongside Simon Peter, the team known as the boarneges, sons of Thunder (Mark 3:17). John was the beloved of Jesus Christ (John 21:20), who used to lean on Him (John 13:23-25) and was the person who Jesus entrusted the care of His mother to, at His point of passage.

    It is pertinent to ask you: how are you treating the physical and spiritual mother figures in your life? Do you realize that the grace to change destinies are in the hands of mothers? While it is good to pray and fast for prosperity and a long life, while it is not out of place to visit the mountain top for marathon prayers, while it good to go for camps and retreats for spiritual rejuvenation, while it is not out of place to observe vigils and the likes, the needful step that facilitates prosperity, promotion, good health and longevity is to honor mothers. “Honour your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise so that it may go wel, with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2,3). Prayers are mere noise in the ears of God without due attention of children to their mothers. If you desire that your prayers should have express attention, it is incumbent on you to reverence and honour your wife (1 Peter 3:7). A man who honors his wife is wise and shall have great dividends for that act. Why? Women are the agents of good things and the means to receive favour from God, and a life of ease and peace as needed icing. “Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour”. (Proverbs 18:22).

    Beloved, one of the things you need to do for your full restoration this year is to return to the mother figures in your life (your aunt, biological or adopted mother, spiritual mother etc), celebrate and appreciate them, not only yesterday, which was the Mothering Sunday, but always. As the Lord lives, who gives honor to His word than His name (Psalm 138:2), you shall be fully restored to your rightful position and benefits in the name of Jesus Christ.

    Read Also: No Nigerian should be in captivity, Speaker Abbas tells security agencies

    In addition to that, kindly note also that motherhood is an awesome privilege; it is a responsibility and a blessing, if rightly invested into. What determines the benefits which are obtainable by man is the investment of mothers in their divine responsibilities. God created mothers as changers of destinies and agents of national rebirth and blessings. Nigeria was blessed in the beginning because mothers took their motherhood responsibilities seriously. Then, mothers sacrifice all of their time, talents, possessions and treasures for the betterment of their children. The country is presently filled with loafers, louts, drug addicts, kidnappers, corrupt elements etc, as evidenced from the calibre of leaders we have in positions of authority across the board because of the failure of mothers, owing to the misplacement of their priorities. Motherhood is not about age but it is in maturity, responsibility and sacrifice. Destiny changing mothers are compassionate, endearing, intuitive, protective, mindful, dutiful, selfless, responsible, caring, loving and Godly. Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the US said, “All that I am, I owe to my angel mother”.

    During this Lenten season, and as the Mothering Sunday was celebrated yesterday, God is calling on children to honor their mothers daily and for husbands to always reference their wives in other to open the gates of their full restoration this year. Further to that, God is speaking to mothers, the changers of destinies, to return to Him and plead for mercy where they have failed God, pray for forgiveness where they have abdicated their divine responsibilities of care for their husbands and children as a result of their lure for pecuniary issues of life. Nigeria shall surely be a better place in the name of Jesus.

    Prayers: Lord, make our mothers sources of blessings and agents of divine changes for the world in the name of Jesus Christ

  • Six ways to honour your mother on your wedding day

    Six ways to honour your mother on your wedding day

    The Wedding day is, undeniably, a big day for most people. Thus, whatever you do and how you go about it, stays with you for a long time. For some people, it is until death or as long as the marriage lasts. And for women, when she gets engaged, it’s usually her mother who gets to hear about it first.

    The fact that women choose to call their mothers first each time anything important happens in their lives, says a lot about the relationship they share with them. Many women love the idea that they could announce to the world how grateful they are for all that their mothers have done for them.

    According to AmerikankiWedding, the day they get married often presents itself as an excellent opportunity. If you would like to make a touching statement on your wedding day about the relationship that you have with your mother, here are ideas on how to do it.

    1. Wear your mother’s wedding dress

    It can be a beautiful gesture to ask your mother for her wedding dress to wear on your wedding day, instead of picking up a new one. Many brides who try this idea get an expert tailor to have a few updates. Most probably your parents got married in 1980s, which means the style of your mom’s wedding dress differs a lot from what we see nowadays. In this case, you may use your mom’s jewellery and accessories.

    You can also adorn the stem of the bouquet with her scarf or the fabric from her gown or use some items that are dear to her, for example, your family heirloom. If your mother’s D-Day dress isn’t right for you at all, you may still consider wearing her veil. By incorporating an article of her clothing into your outfit, you will gain a special bond between you and your mom.

    2. Choose your mother’s outfit yourself

    Usually, once the bride chooses her wedding dress, she shows it to her mother. The mother, then, goes on to buy an outfit of her own to complement the wedding dress. Then, the groom’s mother buys an outfit to go with all the others. It could be a sweet gesture, though, for you to buy dresses both for your mother and your future mother-in-law, yourself.

    3. Your mother could give you away, too

    In the Jewish tradition, both the mother and the father walk the bride down the aisle. In the Christian tradition, though, it’s only the father. Admittedly, walking down the aisle with your father, brother, grandfather or other male relative had been a strong tradition for a long time. There’s no need to follow tradition to a tee. The convention could be bent a bit, though, if it would help honour your mother. You could ask your mother to join you and your father as you walk down the aisle. After all, both of your parents have to say goodbye to their little girl. However, it would be reasonable to know if your dad is ok with that. Sharing this special moment will be a great way to honour your mother at your wedding.

    Also Read: Housewife offers N120,000 bride price to quit five-year-old barren marriage

    4. The mother-daughter dance

    While it’s common for the bride to dance with her father at her wedding, a mother-daughter dance isn’t nearly as usual a sight. This could be a great place to change tradition. Mothers deserve dances, too. The choice of the song is one of the most important aspects of the dance since the song should be meaningful to both of you and it should be entertaining for your guests. Play her favourite song during the ceremony or opt for the composition that accompanied your parents’ wedding ceremony.

    If you choose the song, consider Mama’s Song by Carrie Underwood and I’m Every Woman by Whitney Huston. These are eternal compositions. Ask the officiator to announce the song and say a few words before you start dancing. Suggest that your spouse dance with both your mom and his mom too.

    5. Make a change to the traditional bouquet toss

    This is another great alternative to a traditional bouquet toss. Nowadays, in some weddings, brides choose to replace the traditional wedding bouquet toss with a bouquet dedication. She gives a little speech about her mother and dedicates the bouquet to her. If your mother doesn’t know about your plans, this is going to be a great surprise for her!

    You can say how important this person is for you without mentioning her name and at the end come up to your mom, hug her and give her your wedding bouquet. This gesture will show her (and everybody there) how important her support was over the years. Be sure, tears are guaranteed. You can also duplicate the wedding bouquet for your mom. Look through her wedding photos and give the picture to your florist.

    6. Re-create your parents’ wedding cake

    It can be a beautiful gesture to design your own wedding cake after the one that you see in your parents’ wedding photos. Try to reduplicate every prominent feature and detail of their wedding cake like colours and small decoration flowers. My mom would be just shocked to see the exact copy of her cake on my wedding table!

    You can also incorporate her favourite sweets into your desserts such as chocolate cookies. Be sure, your mom will eagerly share her top secret recipes with you! You can think up a wedding menu after the one that your parents had. It’s not necessarily to pattern everything, but a few dishes taken from your parents’ wedding menu will definitely honour your mom and dad!

  • Eulogizing mothers through poems and melodies

    At a Mother’s Day Fiesta organized to appreciate mothers, it was an opportunity to show love and affection, Omolara Akintoye reports

    Her love is unconditional; she will love you more than anyone else will ever love you. This love is showed through everything she does, whether it is preparing you food or giving you a much desired hug after a long day. She will make you anything to make your tummy happy. This is extremely helpful when you come home from college and your favorite food is waiting at the table for you. She is your best friend. She is always there to help you solve your problems and calm you down. No matter how big or small your problem is, she will help you get through it. She always has a calm mind and when you grow up you wonder if you could do that with your child. She is the perfect person. She is the strongest person you know and you hope to be just like her when you grow up. So take this one day of the year and show her how much she means to you. The day being set aside to celebrate our ‘a kind hearted woman’ is Mother’s Day.

    Mother’s Day is a day allocated to your mother to make her feel special and wonderful. We always take our mom for granted and just expect to her to do things for us because she is our mother.

    Love between families was rekindled this year as friends and families gathered at this year’s edition of the Mother’s Day Fiesta. The event was also to appreciate the role of mothers in the evolution of society

    The Fiesta according to the organizer of the event, Managing Director, RWells Media Group, Jibe Ologeh, was set aside to recognize outstanding mothers every year. ‘Mother’s Day Fiesta basically is an event whereby we recognize outstanding mothers every Mother’s Day, we also appreciate them, tell them that they are first and foremost a mother before they become any other thing’.

    Speaking on the theme “Happy mother, happy Home” Ologeh said that their responsibility  as a mother is to contribute their quota to the upkeep of the family, hence the day is set aside to give them gifts, celebrates with them and generally appreciate them as mothers.

    The role of mothers Ologeh pointed out cannot be over-emphasized ‘The role of mother in nation building starts from the home because a happy home leads to an happy nation, so when every mother perform all their responsibilities in the home, which is a unit of the nation the nation will be successful’.

    But when mothers efforts are not appreciated; both the husband and the children are not supportive, the family unit is not supportive they become unhappy and are discouraged, Ologeh revealed that such women are not encouraged to perform their role as mothers, ‘this to an extent translate into the nation not being the ideal nation. We need to encourage mothers make them happy by appreciating them at all times”, she said.

    On her part, the Founder, Emerald Network International, Praise Okonkwo, enjoined housewives who are unemployed to start working from home. ‘As a woman you need to know your worth and be financially empowered, work on yourself. With as little as N5000 you can start something meaningful. Overcome your fears and take full charge of your life. Be open minded. Don’t wait until everything turns upside down before you start running helter skelter’ she warned.

    High points of the Fiesta include; award given to best danced mother of the year, poem recitation, song rendition for mothers. These poems according to Mrs. Doris Ekene are the most treasured, meaningful gifts ‘a mum can receive from her child’.

    This year’s Mother of the Year award was given to the popular stand-up comedian known as Tatafo, characterized by a voice range that makes her sound like a child, Helen Paul.

     

  • Mother’s Day: A Celebration in Million Times

    A mother is someone who supports and motivates us throughout our life. Mothers can replace anybody in our life but nobody can replace our mother. She never expects anything from us except love.

    A mother is a person in our life who gives us birth, who teaches us how to live this life, who enlightens us on the good and bad times. No matter how much we get successful in life, no other thing can give us peace as the  mother’s lap

    No matter how hard we try, we cannot pay her debts in our entire life. She sacrifices many things for her children. She deserves to be honored. For honoring the mother, motherhood, maternal bonds and her influence in society, we celebrate Mother’s Day also known as Mothering Sunday every year. This is a global day usually celebrated on second Sunday of May every year in Nigeria except in some instances where people misconceived this day with the International Women’s Day in March.

    The origins of this celebration date back to the Ancient Greek times, but the way which it is celebrated today began in America in 1908.

    The ancient Greeks dedicated an annual spring festival to maternal goddesses, and ancient Romans also celebrated a spring festival called Hilaria which was for a mother goddess called Cybele.

    Other stories say that this date was to honour mothers. A prayer service was also held in church for the Virgin Mary and children would bring gifts and flowers to pay tribute to their mothers.

    This day had almost died out completely by the 19th century.

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    After this, in America the idea of an official celebration for all mothers came in 1872 from Julia Ward Howe, an activist, writer and poet.

    She became famous for her Civil War song “Battle Hymn of the Republic” and suggested that June 2 should be annually celebrated as Mother’s Day and should be a day dedicated to peace.

    Julia also delivered a passionate appeal to women in 1870 in Boston and urged them to rise against war, and she initiated a Mothers’ Peace Day service on the second Sunday in June and annually held the meeting for a couple of years.

    The writer worked hard to have Mother’s Day declared as an official holiday, but it was later replaced by the holiday now celebrated in May in America.

    Anna Jarvis is recognised as the woman who invented Mother’s Day in America after she held a memorial for her mother in West Virginia in 1908.

    Having established a clear background of the celebration, there is a need to know its significance in the 21st century and understanding the actual essence of the celebration.

    On this note, the writer bring to the knowledge of the reader the amazing ways to celebrate this great that can be best described as “A Celebration in Million Times”

    The celebration of Mother’s Day is now done by people all over the world by presenting gifts to mother and every motherly figure. Today celebration of Mother’s Day is all about gifting flowers, cards, jewellery and visiting restaurants or giving a holiday surprise to mother.

    These are the ways people choose to express their gratitude of making mother feel special on the Mother’s Day and to pay thanks to mother for all her contributions for shaping the society.

    Today, the celebration of Mother’s Day is done in a way that pleases us and not the celebrants, our mothers. Many at times fail to understand the deep meaning of Mother’s Day and this leads them abusing the essence of the celebration.

    However, you can best celebrate this day by recompensing the love of motherhood in your special way. It is a day you must sacrifice to stay with your mother and make her feel important. Don’t forget that your mother is the greatest asset that you can ever have and you must make do with this day to celebrate her unfailing love in your life.

    In summary, every year, a theme is dedicated to the celebration of mother’s day. The theme of celebration of Mother’s Day 2018 is “There is nothing like the love of a mother”. Theme for the Mother’s Day in the year 2017 is “Every Mother knows”. The theme for the Mother’s Day in the year 2016 was “Hands of the Mother”.

    The writer wishes to dedicate this piece to all mothers who have lost their lives to the ongoing killings across the federation and also to all mothers in the world at large.

  • Council boss advises mothers on immunisation 

    Chairman of Owan West Local Government Area of Edo State Frank Ilaboya has appealed to mothers and caregivers to ensure their children are immunised.

    Ilaboya spoke at the weekend in Sabongidda-Ora, while opening the first round of the national immunisation at the Michael Imoudu Comprehensive Health Centre.

    He noted that immunising children is the surest way of preventing most childhood-killer diseases.

    Ilaboya urged immunisation officers to ensure they get into the nooks and crannies of the council, saying he would monitor the exercise.

    The five-day exercise will end tomorrow.

     

  • QBF to honour widows, mothers of the military on Val’s Day

    QBF to honour widows, mothers of the military on Val’s Day

    Nollywood actress, Queen Blessing Ebigieson will on February 14 honour widows of  fallen soldiers in Lagos through her widows empowerment initiative, Queen Blessing Foundation.

    Holding on February 14, 2018 at the hall of Command Day Secondary School, Ikeja Army Cantonment, about 1, 000 widows are expected to benefit from the initiative.

    The Nation gathered that monetary support will also be given to some lucky few to start up small businesses.

    The fifth edition of the Valentine Special has the theme, ‘Celebrating the Widows & Aged Mothers of Our Fallen Military Heroes’ will also serve as the foundation’s 10th anniversary.

    “We are celebrating the widows and mothers of our fallen heroes in the Air Force, Army and Navy this year and it promises to be a special one,” she said.

    “I am passionate about widows and aged women as their prayers go high up into heaven.”

    Last year, Okpella community, the country home of the quintessential actress hosted the last widow empowerment and it was a huge success.

  • Against the Odds, Bangladesh Puts Mothers at the Forefront of Medical Practice

    Against the Odds, Bangladesh Puts Mothers at the Forefront of Medical Practice

    Up against it; Bangladesh has managed to turn a new leaf for expectant mothers.

     

    By Elita Karim for The Daily Star

    Ruby Akthar can still remember the agony of her first labour. Nestled away in one of Bangladesh ’s many urban slums—aged just 20—a frightened Akthar attempted to deliver her first baby at home without medical assistance. But following hours of agony due to the baby being in a difficult position, she and a family member bundled into a taxi and crossed a stiflingly humid Dhaka to seek medical help from a NGO health centre.

    Now a proud mother Akthar smiles; thinking of her six year old daughter, but without medical assistance during the birth it is possible that neither mother nor daughter would be here today.

    WHO estimates that in 2016, 830 women died everyday as a result of childbirth. In Bangladesh, the combination of high rates of poverty, poor access to medical resources, elevated cases of child marriage and deep-rooted attitudes towards gender roles means that in 2016, somewhere between 6,000 and 7,000 mothers died. But Bangladesh, one of the poorest and most densely populated countries in the world, is full of surprises.

    A 2016 Unicef report claims that the nation has the second highest rate of child marriage in the world—in its rural areas 74 percent of young women are married before their 18th birthday. Early marriage puts young women’s health under immense risk. Premature and closely spaced multiple pregnancies increase the likelihood of uterine prolapse and obstetric fistula; a complication during birth which causes the reproductive organs, bladder and rectum to split, leaving women incontinent. This condition can potentially lead to abandonment from their husbands, ostracisation from their communities and if severe, death.

    In some communities, notably rural, women who seek Western medical care are shamed and shy away from openly discussing their pregnancy or any worrying symptoms. Expectant mothers, often under pressure from village elders, follow traditional birthing rituals. “I would hold a round or a cylindrical object every evening after dinner and make 7 rounds in the small courtyard outside our home,” said Ruksana Khatun.

    According to the family myth, performing this ritual assures one of a healthy son. Khatun later aborted her child after discovering she was carrying a daughter. During the labour itself, expectant mothers may be violently shaken by traditional birthing attendants to allegedly assist in releasing the baby—running a high risk of hemorrhaging, uterine prolapse and damage to the child.

    In spite of such horror stories surrounding maternal health, impressive change is already underway across the nation. The alleged source of this transformation has come as a surprise to many. Doctor Zafrullah Chowdhury, founder of one of Bangladesh’s oldest NGOs, Gonoshasta Kendra (GK), argues that sexual violence committed during the 1971 Bangladesh War of Independence with Pakistan resulted in hundreds of thousands of Bangladeshi women demanding access to family planning services. “Many of the medical developments came during the war … our war changed our attitude,” he explained, “Culture has not changed, religion has not changed – but attitude has changed.” This demand for family planning—notably abortion, meant that swarms of health workers headed into rural communities and entered into conversation with villages about women’s health, rights and safety.

    Hot on the heels of this widespread overhaul on women’s health, the Bangladesh Rural Advancement Committee (BRAC)—the world’s largest NGO—created the Improving Maternal, Neonatal and Child Survival (IMNCS) project in 2005. This initiative aims to reduce maternal, neonatal and infant mortality, notably in poorer, more secluded villages and reaches over 25 million people in 14 of the country’s regions. BRAC’s workforce—70 percent female—trains and works in their local communities, meaning that health workers on the programme get closer access to expectant mothers.

    Local women are taught skills required to work as Community Health Workers (CHW), Newborn Health Workers (NHW) and Community Skilled Birth Attendants (CSBA). These women make regular home visits to mothers before, during and after the birth. Their services have assisted in bridging the gap between the current capacity of public government health services and the needs of an ever-growing population.

    Perhaps such initiatives are what has led to Bangladesh being one of only a few countries to achieve the United Nations’ Millennium Development Goal (MDG) number four and five, which aimed to lower the infant mortality and maternal mortality rate (MMR)—the number of mothers who die per 100,000 live births.

    The country’s current MMR is about 170 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births, but between 1998-2001 this averaged 322 per year. Evident progress has clearly been made over the past 16 years, and the nation is currently well ahead of its neighbours India and Pakistan regarding maternal health.

    Bangladesh still has a long way to go; for one in two women, medical decisions regarding her pregnancy are made by her husband. Still, this small nation has shown that medically training local women to tackle the issues surrounding maternal health is an effective way to improve mother’s lives. As Dr. Chowdhury said: “For any maternal mortality theme, or any subject you want to take, the key is the women.”

  • Agonising mothers and traumatised children

    It is cries of woe and unending agonies all over the place. Mothers running helter-skelter as they scamper into safety dragging their helpless children along with them. The images we see every day on our screens are distressing and the narratives that accompany such pictures are heart breaking. From Iraq to Yemen to Syria to Libya to Egypt to Pakistan and to the recurring Afghanistan is the same gory tale of bloodbath and bloodshed.

    Do people who created these unending agonies for mothers have mothers? Do the blood thirsty world leaders who torment mothers and children have mothers? Were they born by women? Do they have sisters, aunts, nieces and children? If they do not have biological children of their own don’t they see their neighbour’s children? Don’t they see chicks following their mothers?

    When you see the harrowing images of children being daily consumed by cholera in Yemen your heart almost bleeds for those innocent children who are being punished by their country’s selfish and senseless leaders who allowed the notorious CIA to plunge their country into Civil War. Fathers and mothers are not spared by this ravaging cholera that claims a life every two hours! To date 260,000 are reported to have succumbed to the ruthless cholera majority of the victims being children.

    The story of Mosul in Iraq is not different. Blood thirsty and vengeful George Bush woke up one day and thoughtlessly decided that Iraq, the cradle of human civilization must be destroyed. Stories upon stories were invented to deceive the usually ignorant citizens of the USA that President Saddam Hussein, created by the same USA, harboured Weapons of Mass Destruction. To start with the USA has the largest variety of Weapons of Mass Destruction in the world. In fact her own arsenal is larger than that of all the countries of the world combined. The USA has no moral right to question any country’s right to self-defence.

    Iraq before the unprovoked invasion by the USA had the fourth strongest military in the world according to military sources, and she also had one of the best living conditions in the world thanks to her oil money and the socialist policies of Saddam. Bombs upon bombs were ruthlessly emptied from the skies on that country and buildings, rare historical sites were destroyed. Throughout the campaign of bloodletting, mothers and their children went through hell. Hundreds of thousands of children were killed; thousands of women were gang-raped while some had their husbands slaughtered right in their presence. Such was the terrible plight of mothers and children throughout the brutal campaign which continued for several years after the cessation of hostilities. But the war sprang up again with the emergence of ISIS also a creation of the CIA and mothers and their children once again came under the hammer.

    What a horrible sight to behold in Mosul the so-called stronghold of ISIS which was destroyed beyond recognition. However hardened a heart may be, it would melt if confronted with the human tragedy of Mosul. Buildings where mothers and children sought refuge kept tumbling down on their heads killing hundreds and inflicting life threatening injuries on many. Hospitals were destroyed and mothers watched their children die slow painful death due to lack of health care delivery services. Malnutrition and starvation has taken over in Mosul.

    Libya is a sorry tale. That oil rich country had the highest and best living standard in the whole of Africa in Gadhafi’s time. But Gadhafi committed the same ‘sin’ Saddam committed by asking to end the monopoly of the US Dollar as the standard currency of trade. The CIA raised an opposition against him; armed the opposition to the teeth and Barack Hussein Obama completed the dirty and inhuman job by assembling the so-called allies to rain tons of bombs on the beautiful country until every treasure was completely destroyed. In all of these, it is the women and children who suffered the brunt. You can imagine children who hitherto were well fed, mothers who received the best care from their government now scavenging for food in dustbins!! Hundreds of thousands of both Iraq and Libya women are now widows while their children are exposed to a blank and hopeless future.

    It is the same story in Syria where a once powerful and prosperous country is being reduced to rubbles because of the crazy policy of regime change which has been the bane of the US policy since time immemorial. Children and mothers in Syria are a sorry sight as they keep running from one refugee camp to another. A huge number of Syrians now form the bulk of refugees worldwide suffering humiliation and outright rejection in some countries.

    Afghanistan has been serially unlucky. She was for many years the punching bag of the Cold War between USSR and USA. The Taliban took over and the ubiquitous USA believed it was their birth-right to export suffering, humongous suffering to the mothers and children of the God-forsaken country. Women and children of Afghanistan have not known peace in decades. Their woes have also taken root in Pakistan where suicide bombing is a daily occurrence.

    Palestine is in a class of her own. It will be 70 years next year when some Palestinians have been living in refugee camps! Just imagine a life in refugee camp and imagine raising children in such deplorable environment for 70 years!!!

    All the conditions we have been talking about were created by human beings; heartless leaders who stumbled on power and did not know what to do with it. Human cruelty that created hell for our innocent mothers and their children had been predicated by either political drunkenness or some fanatical dogmatism or some myopic racism or a combination of all those silly abstractions.

    While the mothers, wives and children of the wicked ones who export suffering and inhumanity to other lands and other people are enjoying out-of-this-world pleasures, the candidates for hell fire are destroying the lives of others.

    Just imagine for a second the troubles women go through for just being women; they take care of the home, take care of husbands and in-laws, get pregnant, give birth and raise children and remain prayer warriors for their families for life. Imagine what most women go through to have children without mentioning the physicals of carrying the weight of some potbellied partners and inhaling some foul air of drunken husbands, the nine-month of weight carrying and the near-death point of child delivery. Some women go through serious medications just to conceive and after all that some crazy individuals in some crazy country would send bombs to annihilate the women, their husbands and their children

    The questions are worth repeating: do these heartless blood-thirsty leaders have mothers? Do they have wives? Do they have children? Should our dear God the Almighty look the other way while some crazy power drunk monsters destroy His creation?

    Children do not deserve the wicked treatment being routinely meted out to them by the so-called people in power. If the USA wants regime change, she could as well assassinate the leader of the country than destroy the entire country including the innocent citizens of such a country.

    Although a lot might have been destroyed before the wicked suffers the Karma and wrath of the Divine, it is a truism that the wicked shall not go unpunished. Where is the Roman Empire?