The Nation Newspaper

Tag: motivation

  • Driver recognition, motivation and education

    I was moved to write on this topic because of the two incidents that occurred about two weeks ago. The first involved a disgruntled driver who protested by setting on fire the school bus he was driving with 52 children.

    The second was the collision of two buses which led to the untimely death of about 60 passengers.

    There has been hues and cries about the high rate of accidents but the needed attention is not being paid to the drivers who constitute about 70 percent of the human factors responsible for road crashes.

    I have carried out research on employers’ attitude to drivers but the results are very far from what obtain in so other countries. A lot of employers do not see drivers as human beings or workers that need recognition and encouragement.

    The fact remains that drivers are among the most relevant staff needed for the survival and growth of any organisation whether the organisation owns vehicles or their staff use public transport.

    An error on the part of other staff of an organisation can be corrected without claiming lives but an error on the part of a driver can be very catastrophic. The life of the president can be easily terminated through an error on the part of his driver. The life of the best technocrat can be terminated through driver error. The life of the richest man can be terminated through driver error. The life of the most guarded or secured person can be terminated through driver error. The list of damages that can emanate from driver error is endless. Why then should some employers downgrade their drivers as if they are nonentities?

    Some look and address their drivers as illiterates and fools. This is a very wrong assessment and attitude. Driving is one of the most complex, if not the complex in the whole world mainly because of the numbers of the organs of the body simultaneously involved and the likely consequences of errors on the part of drivers. High level of knowledge, skills and wisdom are needed to drive safely in all situations. Therefore, whether safety conscious drivers are lettered or not, they are highly intelligent for successfully perceiving hazards, analysing the likely impacts and taking appropriate decisions that guaranteed safety in the face of the actions and inactions of other road users.

    Sometimes ago while doing a research, a driver lamented that his monthly salary when broken down is less than N2,000. The same driver spends an average of N800 on transport, works Monday to Saturday, eats N100 snacks most of the days, married with children, pays rent for a room apartment and drives a N15 million worth of vehicle in the organisation. The driver said, no matter the number of times his boss eats, he never for once gave him a leftover. He preferred to take the remnant home for his dogs. The total amount his boss has ever dashed him as gift for the five years he has worked with him is less than N5,000.

    The driver told me that most of the time he drives his boss within or outside the town, he sleeps in the car. He said he used to be so filled with anger on how he was being maltreated that he would sometimes press down the brake suddenly without any reason but just to disrupt his sleep. He said he thought of the damage he could do to the organisation.

    Many organisations have no provision of hotel accommodation for their drivers when outside their station, thereby compelling the drivers to sleep inside the vehicle. This habit fuels malaria, muscle cramps and fatigue for drivers which could hinder safe driving. Drivers are very vital in any organisation and should, therefore, be so recognised.They should be well- motivated in terms of salaries, housing allowance, transport allowance, overtime allowances, out-of-station allowances, hotel accommodation no matter how small or cheap the hotel room is, accident-free allowance and any motivation.

    Read also: 19 killed, 38 injured in Katsina road accident

    The emotion of a driver has a very strong influence on the visual, cognitive and physical effectiveness of the driver. Employers must ensure their drivers are well trained and updated regularly because of the dynamism in vehicle technology, ccupational health and road traffic regulations, among other factors. While the accredited driving schools  should focus more professional attention on driver training and re-retraining, the regulatory authorities should focus more attention on monitoring and certification of organisations (not drivers) for compliance to driver recognition, motivation and training.

    With the above well-considered and acted upon without compromise by the employers of drivers, drivers, professional or accredited driving schools and the regulatory authorities, a lot will be achieved in the reduction of road traffic crashes, injuries and deaths on the roads.

  • Monday Motivation: Don’t throw in the towel!

    Monday Motivation: Don’t throw in the towel!

    By Moses Emorinken

    Motivation not to throw in the towel
    Don’t throw in the towel

    Sometimes, life deals you a bad hand; throws punches at you and your dreams and brings you to your knees.

    Honestly, it will keep you permanently on your knees if you let it.

    Just like boxing, It’s really not about how hard you hit, but about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward.

    Say to yourself: IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL I WIN!

  • Valid hacks for maximizing your employees

    Valid hacks for maximizing your employees

    If an organisation wants to walk FAST, it can walk alone; but if it must walk FAR, its best bet is in its employees.

    Once you employ a man, you employ his family. This statement holds true in any society regardless of its literacy rate, technological advancement, or economic system.

    This is because any person who seeks to be gainfully employed pursues, not just his own well-being, but that of his immediate family or in cases where such an individual is a loner bereft of family encumbrances, his future well-being.

    Getting the best out of that individual means his employer must motivate him in more than one front. And such motivations must come from a proven method which has been channeled through a perennial hunt for novel ways to increase his power of imagination, resourcefulness, creativity, and productivity.

    Similarly, in the quest for organizations to achieve set goals, it is however, important to note that maximum participation is required. And for any organization to achieve maximum participation from its employees, they have to give their maximum support in return. This support can come in the form of salary raise, and it may also come in form of training.

    This is necessary because every organization seeking to be relevant must continue to train and retrain their staff in order to keep up with trends and industrial innovations.

    Staffers lagging behind in terms of training may not be able to keep up with the dictates of time, which may consequently discourage and make them lose interest in their jobs.

    Another way the support can come is in the way of employee welfare. This can also come in form of paid sabbaticals, tangible allowances, flexible salary schemes and bonuses.

    Motivation in terms of monetary reward is not enough, this is essentially why Douglas McGregor’s Theory Y underscores the importance of an effective reward system which eschews considerably from the monetary reward scheme.

    An employee who has spent a considerable amount of years in an organization needs to be constantly self-conscious of his weighed value to his employers. This awareness can be permanently planted if, according to McGregor, rewards are put in place to address higher needs such as self-fulfillment.

    In fact, when an employer successfully exploits this reward system, McGregor added that the employee will seek out responsibilities himself and not wait for them. More than all the aforementioned points is an enabling environment for the employee to thrive.

    There are more “bosses” than team players in most organizations today. Bosses in quote because these individuals overtly dwell on criticizing their employees. They are constantly harping on the mistakes and weaknesses of their staff. Instead of being guided, the employees are teleguided. Instead of focusing on how to leverage on the strengths of their staff, employers use their weaknesses to talk them down.

    This kills the morale and any potential the employee might have in contributing meaningfully to the growth of the organization. The employee draws back from making any input because he knows it will be met with stiff dismissal and cold rebuff. The harmful impact this will have on his productivity is better imagined.

    All these shows that the employee clime on this side of the globe happens to be one particularly hardwired to ensure the certainty of failure. Most employers have assumed the sordid habit of not paying employees’ salary on time, but has made it a gleeful hobby to owe them for months.

    Added to this is a widespread red tape and superfluous bureaucracy quite inessential in this age of borderless maps. How then do you expect a modicum of motivation from the employees?

    Imagine, for a moment, a boss who talks a lot. He doesn’t hold regular meetings with his staff and once he does, he hardly takes any opinion contrary to his own. Once a staff says something that negates his view, he immediately creates a wall.

    Again, he asks too much of everyone. He expects his staff to do a job he or she is not trained for. He employs a staff as a script writer, but sometimes, he or she does the job of a human resource officer; and there is no commensurate reward for the additional work.

    And this is a job the staff should be prepared for before he or she is asked to do it. How would such an employee cope in such an environment? We must note that no working environment is perfect, but there are working environments that does not bring out the best in the employees.

    Being a leader does not mean that you have to be in the front all the time, it has gone beyond that. Leadership is all about achieving results using other people.

    Therefore, it is the inalienable function of management to mine the latent potentials in its employees through policies which will help the employees see themselves not only as workers, but also as major contributors to the overall success of the organization.

    This shows that for the employees to thrive and to reach their full potential, all the aforementioned barriers need to be removed from the working environment.

    Management should also encourage their staff to take on added responsibilities (in tandem with extant trainings) that they are okay with. This will help them apply and effectively put to good use the trainings they receive in their organization from time to time.

    Not giving a trained employee more responsibility is like buying a Corvette, which is a sports car, and only driving it 10 miles per hour. It means you’re ignoring all the potentials and even misusing the car.

    What’s the point of buying a sports car if you’re not going to put your foot to the pedal! This is the case when management does not allow the employees more opportunities to explore and do more in the organization.

    Regular meetings with the employees is also important. This is usually the point where all forms of challenges hampering work progress is discussed and fresh ideas are juggled. If all these are done, no employee should expect his employer to perform below par.

  • I am here to stay (Get Motivated!)

    I am here to stay (Get Motivated!)

    I am here to stay.

    Life is more than merely existing; it is about LIVING for something and probably DYING for what you believe in.

    It goes beyond the threshold of breathing; it is about breathing value and life into everything, person or group that comes in contact with you.

    A lot of people never get to manifest their greatness so much so that when they leave this earth nobody ever know they left not to talk of missing them because their level of contribution and consciousness is so small. Of a truth, we can all do great things only if we dare or attempt it.

    When you close your eyes, where or what do you see? Do you see yourself consciously walking and working in the direction of your dreams or are you merely shadowing in the pedestrian and predictable steps of others, that is, your employers, bosses, parents etc.

    We all have our ‘inner demons’.

    Our inner demons most of the time looks exactly like us especially when we look into the mirror. They exist in several forms and expressions like procrastination, laziness, excuses, negligence etc.

    As children, we had great and amazing dreams and aspirations. We did not have the tinniest modicum of doubt in our ability to live our dreams. As far as we were concerned, the world was under our feet and was ours to be taken.

    However, as we grew, we began to easily fit into the conditioning of our environment.

    We have been told that our dreams are too big and our connections and finances are too small.

    If you had to evaluate your life and the results you have produced, would you score an A, B, C, D, E or an outright ‘F’…just saying!

    We should set targets and not settle for less until we get what we want; until things work in the direction of our expectations.

    Learn to bargain with life for exactly what you want and be ready to PAY THE PRICE once you have set the terms and wages from life.

    There is a quote by Tony Gaskins that says “know who you are, know what you want, know what you deserve and don’t settle for less”.

    Say to yourself…My inner demon is ******* and I am ready to fight it because “I AM HERE STAY”.

  • Motivation for writers

    Motivation for writers

    Worried by errors made by students, writers and the media, a veteran broadcaster and retired United  Nations (UN) diplomat, Mr. Segun Omolayo, has written a book entitled: POP Errors in English: Writers Beware. In this inteview, he shares his thoughts with ODUNAYO OGUNMOLA.

    What is the book all about?

    The reading culture is poor and it will be so for some time to come. But my attitude to it is that if I could get two persons who find this book useful, I would be very pleased. And so far, I have seen so many people, who love what they have seen in the book because of the special approach. Femi Orebe, famous columnist with The Nation, said something I could not believe  about the book after he read it.  He said this book has national relevance, that the whole of writers in Nigeria at various levels, need it, he saw the relevance in it. Then Dr. Babaleye, the Head of Media and Communication Studies at Afe Babalola University, Ado-Ekiti (ABUAD), after reading through, told me it is a writer’s companion. He said any writer needs this book by his side, and I have also discovered that it is also an editor’s companion. I keep editing for people, right now, I am editing PhD thesis sent to me from the University of Ilorin and another PhD thesis from another university locally. I am also editing a 200 page book for a university lecturer. My book is serving as a reference material. What is contained in the book is what good editors are looking for in any writing and the book is a pointer to what they should look for. When you talk of redundancy, or malapropism, when you talk about faulty parallelism, when you talk about wrong sentences and fragmentation, many editors do not bother themselves about such things. Four Sundays ago, The Guardian on Sunday described the book as a good guide for communication.

    The motivation was my discovery that writers need a lot of help inmatters like this, particularly communicating effectively in English Language. And my privileged position of editing for university lecturers, superintending broadcast productionas a broadcaster, broadcast manager, newsreader, presenter, General Manager and pioneer General Manager of ADABA FM, Akure Ondo State where I had great responsibility not only for capacity building, but also for quality control.

    I was able to see a lot of problems in the way writers write and I was able to articulate some errorswhich I call “pop errors” and the title of the book is Pop Errors in English: Writers Beware. The nature of what I have done over 15 years that I edited for lecturers, I was the final gatekeeper for the news and on occasion. This is because of my consciousness of the great responsibility of a newscaster not only to himself, but also to the station and the profession, as well as the state and even the government that owns the station. I was conscious of what I read out to the public. That was the foundation of the book to a large extent because after sometime, I started naming the errors I was finding in the bulletin by their names. Even before that time, there were some of these errors I did not know by their names. But, intuitively I knew something was wrong in a particular construction but the name of those errors I did not know. So, I had to research and continue until I found the names for all the errors I observed in the bulletin. That led me to  presenting a lecture to the house every month as capacity building programmes.

    On one of the occasions, I had the privilege to feature and I presented what I called Pop Errors. In fact, the outline I used for Pop Errors in that lecture was what I developed further for the book. It is a book of over 500 pages. Ifound out that writers across board and the lecturers I was editing for make such mistakes we made in broadcasting.When I read columnists and reporters, I saw that  kind of errors. When I pioneered the ADABA FM, I saw that my staff members in the news department made such mistakes. When I proceeded to UnitedNations where I spent  eight  years, I  found out that these same errors were made by my colleagues. For eight years, I functioned as one of the editors of input from colleagues coming from various departments and outposts. So, this was a particularly useful platform for me. In fact, that was where the idea of the book matured. I told you I started thinking about it whenI was still at the Broadcasting Service of Ekiti State as Director of Programmes.  But, it matured when I got to the United Nations. I found out that it was the same errors that writers there were making, so that’s why it took me solong to package the book. I used examples from all these experiences, books, seminar papers, journals, articles and other writings that I worked on for university lecturers, books that I edited forother authors and things that I saw somewhere else. I got a tremendous feeling from Prof KunleAjayi, a lecturer atEkiti State University, Ado Ekiti. I just finished working on a journal for him. He was the editor of that journal. So, after I finished that journal, he was so pleased and said, uncle, why not write a book to share the skills and techniques you are using in doing such fantastic editing work for us. I got seriously encouraged and motivated and I was determined to write the book. That was the motivation and story behind the book.

    How long did it take to finish the book?

    It took me 10 years to write this book and the reason is: I told youI was in Broadcasting Service of Ekiti State where I started noting these things and working on them. I was encouraged by a university professor. That was about 2007 and kept working on it, accumulating examples because all the examples you see in this book used to illustrate the mistakes and errors I highlighted are live examples.They are things written by somebody either as a university lecturer, as an author or a UN diplomat or a columnist, they are live examples.

    And these things kept coming in a rush every day.  So, the compilation and accumulation of these copious examples is one reason it took so long to write and why I did use so many examples is because you and I will make the same mistake indifferent ways. Let me give you an example. If I say “I cannot be able”, that is a very bad English and you write “I could not be able”, it’s also a bad English we are making the same kind of mistakes, but in different ways. Any reader of this book will encounter themselves in this book.

  • Motivation day with young models

    Motivation day with young models

    Ace photographer, Yetunde Babaeko’s Mara Agency recently held a motivation session for its models. Yetunde Oladeinde was there.

    Young people have a lot of energy, which they need to express to discover their skills and potentials for a better future. When motivated and engaged, the positive side of life receives a great boost. Conversely, when left adrift, they tend to end up in frustration and restlessness that may ruin their lives.

    The essence of positive engagement was the trust at the recent Mara Models Motivation day, which took place at Camara Studio, Ikeja, Lagos recently. According to Yetunde Ayeni Babaeko, the brain behind the initiative, “The Mara Agency was launched in January 2017, with a focus to catching them young and exploring the process without tears.

    Explaining that it was a fun-filled day, Babaeko added that the Mara model is also very eloquent. “It is not just about the looks, you must be able to project what you are showing and must be able to sell your agency even when we are not there and you are having a shoot.’

    She added: “Today we want to show you how we work with models, how we make use of the creative space. There are lots of agencies around Lagos but I am sure that we have a cutting edge standard, which is key for every model – be it photography, video or film. Success comes with constant training and practice. Our desire is to encourage our models to be part of our dreams, be part on your vision and prepare for the years to come.”

    She thereafter asked a couple of the models to share their experience and the girls were excited to share the awesome beginning in this new phase of their lives. First, the models talked about their expectations from the agency; how they can make money from modeling as a career, how the agency can protect their interest, frequency of getting jobs and much more.

     The young models included Tolu, Sarah and Pelumi, whose videos and behind the scene activities were shown on the screen. Pelumi’s session inspired guests and the others, especially with the dexterity, passion and determination she exhibited. The high point was an electrifying portrait of Pelumi and her response to how it all began.

    “It’s been really interesting and I love the way Mrs. Babaeko carries her team and the models along. She is very patient with you and for me, I see her as a mother,” she enthused.

    The other members of the team: George Udeze, Shola Balogun and Mr Abimbola were introduced to guests and the participants. On his part, George Udeze from Mara Models Agency gave an overview of the agency, the opportunities available and the importance of the SET cards for every model. “It is your tool for business and it is important to have something that is done in a creative way by professionals. If I want to send the pictures to a client of a young lady between the ages of 20 to 25, basically what we want is something that is balanced and the set card must contain the information that is needed. The necessary details like height and size would also be on the set card.”

    Udeze added that unlike other modeling agencies, MMA stood out because it had the state-of-the-art facilities and skilled manpower to groom and prepare its models

    He also spoke of the close affiliation of the agency to established photographers as a major advantage, as their models would be able to gain experience leading to regular jobs.

    Obaye Ekenimoh, a lawyer from Aramide Falade & Co had a session on the different types of modeling contracts. She stressed the importance of knowing one’s rights as a model and avoiding pitfalls in the industry. Of course, the agency would always be there to guide the models but she underlined the need to be guided from challenges that may mar their career if they fail to read between the lines while signing modeling contracts.

    She went a step further to share legal tips and pitfalls to avoid when signing modeling contracts.

    The session also emphasized the importance of grooming for both female and male models. Unfortunately, male models most times take this for granted, but the need to take adequate care of the skin and have proper grooming for both sexes was dwelled on.

    Next, the event went into the final session where participants were taught how to catwalk and pose; how to stand in front of the camera; what the photography industry opposes and much more. Grace, a catwalk specialist worked with participants on their modeling, in particular, the runway walks and poses. This was complemented with another hands-on session led by Babaeko, ace photographer, who showed the models how to work the camera, paying attention to facial expressions and body movements. She also informed that this kind of training session would be done on a continuous basis and there would more opportunities for discovery and rediscoveries. “It would happen every other month because we are interested in getting the best from our models.”

  • Six practical steps that’ll make you scream – Thank God it’s Monday!

    Six practical steps that’ll make you scream – Thank God it’s Monday!

    By Moses Emorinken

    ‘Oh yes! Thank God it’s Monday!’ I’m almost certain that is not the mantra emanating from most people because recent survey reveals that about 87% of people hold jobs that they do not like, and work for companies they care little about.

    It is funny, but psychologists and counsellors have found out that Monday is the most important day in the week because it sets the tone (mind-set and concretised plans) for the rest of the week. Chances are that if you started your Monday on a rocky, shaky, and grouchy ground, you will have messed up the possibility for a productive and fulfilling week ahead.

    My friend, you see, time is worth more than money – it is actually your life broken down into tiny bits; so, until that dream job comes and you finally work in an organisation that you are overtly enthused about, let’s not become a cry-baby and waste valuable time (life) doing our jobs with sadness, end-to-end naggings, and getting depressed. Come-on, it’s time to get some motivation while we bridge the gap between our dream and our Job – a dream job!

    Chances are that if you cultivate the right attitude and frame of mind while working a not-so-exciting job, you will in a short time land that job you have always wanted. If you want your dreams to come through, then you’ve got to wake up!

    Here are my top six (6) tips (though not exhaustive) on how to stay motivated throughout the week:

    1. Have an Expectation:

    Truth be told, you can hardly get something good if you don’t expect it to come. Life is not a lottery; even in a lottery, participants expect to win even by the slightest flicker of luck and maybe serendipity.

    Life sometimes have a funny sense of humour: Haven’t you noticed that it is mostly bad things that usually happens when we do not expect it – more or less like weeds grow unexpectedly on a fertile land. However to cultivate good, we need to consciously expect it to happen. As you move out today, create a mental image of good things you expect to happen to you today and for the rest of the week. If possible have a list. The shortest pen is longer than the longest memory.

    1. Surround yourself with positive-minded people:

    Some people are so negative that if they entered a dark room, they would immediately develop; that is how negative they are. One of the fastest ways to be happy is to surround yourself with happy people. Surround yourself with passionate and enthusiastic people, and you will receive the baptism of passion; surround yourself with high-fliers and achievers, and you will soar higher than you expect. But a company of fools will be destroyed. No matter the amount of success you have achieved, if you constantly surround yourself with four failures (in a manner of speaking though), it is only a matter of time – you will become number five.

    1. See the Big Picture:

    Often times, it is very easy to get distracted by the ‘busyness’ of life and the loud and random noise in our hustled-environment, that we suffocated the yearnings and voice of our inner man. Regardless of the job you currently have – whether you’re the Managing Director or the doorman, General Manager or the Gate Man, always see the big picture. Keep that dream alive in your mind; never trade it for anything because in due season it will come alive. There’s a saying that ‘whatever you vividly imagine, honestly desire, sincerely believe, and enthusiastically act on must inevitably come to pass’.

    1. Have a Plan:

    Nature by all standards abhors a vacuum. What that means is simple – the moment you do not consciously create a plan for your life, nature (life) will automatically give you one; most times what it gives is not always pleasant. The best way to predict the future is to create it. However, you cannot predict what you have not planned. There is an unseen power that comes to play when pen meets with paper. Write out your plans and break them down into deliverables (goals).

    1. Take Action:

    The best way to translate your dreams and aspirations from thin paper to thick action is simply by TAKING ACTION. All men dream but not equally; some dream at night in the dusty recesses of their minds only to find that it was only a dream. But some men dream during the day, these are the dangerous ones; for they dream with their eyes wide-open, and they can make their dreams come through.

    I do not care how magnificent and immaculate your plans are, if you do not take steps to walk your talk, then you will become like museum pieces under glass – stale, safe, easy to understand, and predictable. Get out of your comfort zone of plans and talks and begin to walk in the direction of your dreams today because life is not about standing still and becoming safe. Also, a comfort zone is not necessarily a comfortable situation, but an uncomfortable one that we have learnt to adapt to over time. Register for that course today, start the very first page of that book, hit the recording studio today, open an account to start saving for your proposed business, talk, walk, and look smart today.

    I once heard the lamentation of a man who said ‘spring time is past, summer is gone, and winter is here; but the song I meant to sing remain unsung; the books I meant to write remain unwritten. For I have spent my best hours stringing and unstringing my instrument; writing, rewriting and cancelling my articles. I was waiting for the right season, just the perfect time – but it never came’.

    1. Be Disciplined and Consistent:

    Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent alone cannot; the world is full of unsuccessful people with great talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Discipline and persistence alone are omnipotent.

    Choose today to find an area of interest, and decide to be consistent in its development – whether it is your talent, a project, or a course.

    I hope you will find this article useful motivation to tune, retune, and fine-tune your week and place in on a cruise control. Don’t wait until tomorrow…do it now. The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago, the next best time is TODAY. Thank God it’s Monday! Enjoy your week.

    Twitter: @memorinken

    Instagram: @memorinken

    Email: brandphase@yahoo.com

  • How to use reward as motivation

    I WOULD like to reward my child, but I don’t want to spoil her or give her the impression that every time she accomplishes something, she deserves a treat. What is the best way to do it? Also how can I use rewards to change bad behaviour?

    Mr. CY, Lagos

     

    Many parents like you battle constantly with crossing the fine line between providing motivation to and spoiling our children with rewards (treats and gifts). This poses an even greater problem for more privileged families who have the means to afford those grander treats that are guaranteed to delight even the most conservative child. The problem with giving material rewards, however, is that like an addictive drug , their effects lessen with continued use and so, you have to keep increasing the dosage with time. Today, it is a trip to an eatery  or a shopping mall; tomorrow, it is a vacation abroad. The stakes get higher as the child gets older and you either run out of rewards, or your child might now run out of appreciation as well. In most cases, she starts expecting such grand rewards as her right for being a good girl. Indeed, there are schools of thought in the field of education that completely oppose the reward system. In Montessori education, for example, the belief is that the accomplishment of good deed/work should be its own reward and that we must bring up our children to imbibe the mentality of deriving sufficient fulfilment from successful completion of task, such that they don’t feel the need for further self-gratification. Whilst this is a most desirable trait worthy of encouragement in our children, social rewards are healthy part of family relationships and should always be put into consideration before any other. For instance, invest in hugs, smiles, nods, a pat on the back and praise. If like you say, you don’t want your child to have the impression that she deserves a treat every time she does well, then it is time to look into the  solution, surely it is to restrict treats and make it occasionally. In addition, any time you reward your child, tell him the reason why you have decided to show appreciation. Let the child know that it is because of this or that action or performance. Be specific with your reward. As a result, the child will then have a better understanding for your action. Children generally love to be appreciated. They cherish reward a lot and it gives them the zeal to do more. Once you reward for the right reason, you are really not spoiling the child. Instead, you are telling your child that you believe in her and also encouraging her to do more. Rewarding has a way of turning situation for good; it should not be seen as bribe which some people interpret it to be. Reward help to boost some children’s low self esteem, especially those struggling with personality issue for example. Children feel more confident when they know that their parents appreciate their efforts and this help to build their self esteem.

    Moreover, why do some parents often shy away from letting their children know that they can’t always afford their notoriously costly reward requests? We should know that as parents, we can only give what we have. Yes, children sometime or rather most times want everything with the notion that mummy and daddy are capable. It is the duty of the parents to give reward in the right amount, in the right way, for the right things. In addition, keep it useful and simple. A visit to a friend, a book of their choice and so on are appropriate.

    As for using rewards to change bad behaviour, first step is to educate your child on what you consider as bad behavior. In other words, explain youer dos and don’ts which I suppose every family has. Our values are different, so it is better for your children to understand your family values in order to be on the same page.

    If you always reward them for doing well at school, but never for good behaviour, what does that tell them about your values? A lot of parents forget to reward their children for behaving well because they take it for granted. Children want to feel that you notice their action.

    Next, you make her understand that she should take responsibility for her action. If she is of bad behaviour in school, she will have to lose a few of her cherished privileges at home such as watching television on weekends or something you know she appreciates.

    Learn to be consistent as a parent and stick to your own rules, so she knows you cannot be manipulated. Good luck!

     

    Harriet ogbobine is a counselor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only 08054682598. You can also follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj

  • Ferdinand: I use pundits’ criticism as motivation

    QPR veteran Rio Ferdinand says criticism from pundits acts as motivation for him.

    The former England international’s man-marking was scrutinised by Alan Shearer and Ruud Gullit as he allowed James Chester to score the winning goal for Hull City on Saturday.

    “Even as a player, you sit there and watch it on TV,” Ferdinand told the Sunday Times.

    “There were people on the sofa who you respected as a footballer and in the industry.

    “But sometimes I would sit there and think, ‘how dare you think about me like that? Someone get me his number so I can call him!’

    “And sometimes that becomes part of your fuel for the next week and the week after – “I ain’t going to get embarrassed on Match of the Day.’”

  • Gombe’s Obioha craves Scorpions’ motivation

    McMarcel Obioha feels Gombe United have enough quality to challenge for honours in the upcoming season, but insists they must be properly motivated to fulfill their huge potentials.

    The Savannah Scorpions finished ninth in the premier league after a blistering start last season, and the central defender told supersport.com that losing focus towards the end has been the major problem since he joined the team four seasons ago.

    “This is my fourth year in Gombe, and we’ve always started well but finished empty handed. Our major undoing has been unfulfilled promises, and I hope there would be change in attitude this time,” he said.

    “It is difficult to play every week at a high level when issues off the pitch aren’t moving fine, so we look forward to being motivated throughout the campaign. The new coach, Maurice Cooreman has done well to put together a strong side ahead of the new season and I’m really confident we can compete on the same level with the top sides.

    “Every player loves to win titles or play on the continent and we also have the same ambition here.

    “It’s good we’re starting (the league) in Ibadan against 3SC because it has always been a happy hunting ground for us, and we’ll be targeting the three points,” he added.

    Obioha is also looking forward to playing a more prominent role in the Super Eagles after training with them briefly last year before injury ruled him out.

    “I was part of the team in camp for the friendly against Peru, and (Godfrey) Oboabona was even moved to the right-back to accommodate me in central defence. It was looking promising till I twisted my ankle in a test game against the Flying Eagles.

    “The injury sidelined me for three months, but I’m back to full fitness and would like to play my way back to contention. The only way to achieve this goal is to impress with my club, so I can’t wait for the new season to finally get going,” he said.