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Tag: name

  • ‘We will name, shame politicians arming criminals’

    ‘We will name, shame politicians arming criminals’

    Bayelsa State Governor  Seriake Dickson has restated his determination to name and shame politicians arming and supporting criminals.

    Information and Orientation Commissioner Mr. Daniel Iworiso-Markson said the governor spoke yesterday at the 2018 Armed Forces Remembrance Day Celebration in Yenagoa.

    The governor, who hailed  the gallantry of security forces and their contributions to peace, security and development, lamented that some political leaders were engrossed in compromising security in Bayelsa.

    He urged the leaders of security outfits to show courage and professionalism in enforcing security in accordance with stipulations of the constitution.

    Dickson said the military had a responsibility to identify and flush out criminals from the country.

    He said failure to see crime fighting from a professional perspective would amount to a display of lack of courage and cowardice, which shouldn’t be the case.

    “I call for robust partnership. I will continue to kick against political leaders who use advantaged position to compromise national and state security, instead of suporting security and stability in our communities, instead of supporting the growth and development of legitimate businesses.

    “I will name and shame them. I will not hesitate to do so, but I will also call on security agencies to eschew cowardice.”

     

     

     

  • BrandNotes: Does PDP need rebranding or a change of name?

    Peoples Democratic Party (PDP)  is a political brand that has existed for 18 years, and was the ruling party until 2015 when it lost the  presidency to All Progressive Congress (APC). That loss was followed by allegations of corruption against the PDP-led regime and also internal crisis within the party. Now that the internal crisis is over, some still believe that PDP as a name does not have the goodwill to attract votes come 2019.

    This reminds one of Obama’s dilemmas in 2008 when he was aspiring as the President of the United States and his PR Consultant advised him to change his name, because his surname and the first name of the late terrorist, Osama Bin Laden, are homonyms. The PR Consultant saw the 9/11 attack as a basis of sentiment against Barack Obama’s name. However, Obama proceeded to campaign with his name and won the election.

    PDP as a brand will survive, if the brand statement can be redesigned. The tagline of “power to the people” may no longer get traction, as the public perception of the brand does not match that statement. Thus, the party may look into finding a brand statement that will resonate with the masses, current challenges of governance and aspirations of the populace.

    The APC brought broom as the brand meme and it easily communicated the mission of the party while it was in the opposition. It practically swept off the incumbent and birthed a government which is spearheading anti-corruption fight. That party really knows how to sweep! LOL. In the same way, we expect PDP to look into the umbrella meme and decide whether to retain it or change it to something revolutionary.  Once PDP get its brand, brand statement and brand meme all together in alignment with its strategic mission for 2019, the brand will get interest and desire of its target citizens. The change of name is not a necessity.

    As a contrarian view, the best brand strategy for PDP may be to “let PDP be PDP”. This will mean that the name, brand statement, and brand meme will not be changed. President Donald Trump’s campaign was hinged on the principle: “let Trump be Trump” and it worked! As long as PDP can present candidates with acceptable personality brands, does the brand of the party really matter?

     

  • Agric union adopts name

    Agriculture and Allied Employers Union of Nigeria (AAEUN), has changed its name to Agricultural and Allied Practitioners Union of Nigeria (AAPUN).

    Its National President, Obafemi Oyenubi, who disclosed said there was need to accommodate other stakeholders who according to him have shown the interest to identify with the union hence the need for the change of name.

    Oyenubi told The Nation in Lagos there was a court judgment on the change of name, nevertheless the matter has been resolved by the parties involved, he stated.

    He said: “People that are not happy with the development of things in the union went to the High Court, later the case went to the Court of Appeal, there and then, we all agreed that we should settle out of court and bring it back to the court to make as a judgment of the court. In that consent arrangement, the first thing we agreed was that the name of the union should be change from Agriculture and Allied Employers Union of Nigeria to Agriculture and Allied Union of Nigeria”.

    “After that with full participation every party including the registrar of Trade Union of   Ministry of Labour and Employment. We later wrote to the ministry for a new certificate then the registrar of the union wrote us back that the name is incomplete and advised us on what to do further which we have done and the name we decided to bear is Agriculture and Allied Practitioners Union of Nigeria (AAPUN)”, he continued.

    According to him, the initial problem was that there is politicking because there are some groups of people, that didn’t want the court judgment to be or obeyed adding that law must take it cause.

    “So, now, we are telling you, we have fulfilled the necessary requirements based on what section 22 the trade Union Act stated. We have filled the form for change of name and we have submitted to the ministry, as soon of possible the certificate should be received”.

    He said during the process of the tendency of the judgment, it was found out that the registrar of the trade union of the ministry was not doing the right thing, “we took the registrar to court for disobeying the law order, there and then; she was sentenced to prison on the committal judgment, we felt that she was a civil servant and we were not really bothered on the implementation of the prison service but for her to do the right thing”, he explained.

    The National President, who assumed office recently disclosed there was inherited liabilities, however restated commitment to serve the workers.

  • Wart is in a name

    Last week at the Gold Lecture in honour of fiery nationalist Herbert Macaulay, an irony pervaded the hall at the Lagos Country Club. Both his names were English, but no one stood for the indigene better than the foreign-named nationalist. The guest lecturer, Ambassador Dapo Fafowora, who gave us a riveting snapshot biography of the icon, asked that the Glover Memorial Hall be renamed after Macaulay.

    As the emcee, I said it was time to decolonise our streets. Glover, as Fafowora related, bombarded his way into Lagos. I said to rename the hall after Macaulay was a counter-warfare to earn us a victory and last laugh. But the same applies to Port Harcourt named after the colonial lord Harcourt. That city should be renamed, just as we should rename Lagos. Lagos can easily be called Eko. That is the real indigene fight.

    H.L. Mencken, the American writer, noted that American towns were named for “more humour than poetry.” Ours were not named for either. The foreign-named ones came as tyranny.

    In the days of Fashola, it was “Eko o ni baje o.” Now, under Ambode, it is “Itesiwaju Eko lo jewa logun.” I don’t see Lagos mentioned. In the hearts of the people, it is all Eko. The use of Eko obviates the Edo consciousness. Same should apply to Badagry. We have streets like Queens Drive, Bourdillon, etc. They pay homage to a time of colonial thraldom. I understand Carter Bridge because it came from friendship, not imposition.

    Lekki came from Lequi, a white man, who saw that place as a prison to lock up our people. The re-spelling of the name is an act of rebellion because we have corrupted it to own. Awo was locked up there.

    As we mark 50 years of Biafra, we forget that Biafra is not an Igbo word. It is a cartographic statement in a foreign tongue. It comes from the Bight of Biafra that represents not only exits, but also entrances. A bight is a curved coastline. The Bight of Biafra abuts on the Gulf of Guinea. The agitators have not claimed rhetoric independence from Biafra. Perhaps that is why the Biafran cause is still a difficult idea to articulate and accomplish.

    Nigeria’s name is rooted in River Niger, which is named for us by foreigners who said they discovered it before the farmers, fishermen, ferrymen and traders who thrived for centuries before Mongo Park was born.

    We need to rediscover ourselves as a people. One way is to call ourselves by our names.

  • Okorocha to Ihedioha: stop using my name to score cheap points

    Okorocha to Ihedioha: stop using my name to score cheap points

    Imo State Governor Rochas Okorocha, at the weekend, cautioned former House of Representatives Deputy Speaker Emeka Ihedioha to stop using his name to score cheap political reasons.

    The governor urged the former lawmaker to purge himself of his “abysmal performance” during his days at the National Assembly.

    He insisted that Ihedioha’s attempt to soil his name in newspapers would not help him win the 2019 governorship election, if he contests.

    A statement by the governor’s Press Secretary, Sam Onwuemeodo, reads: “…Okorocha has read the lengthy interview granted to Saturday Sun of April 8 by former Deputy Speaker of the House of Representatives, Chief Emeka Ihedioha, in which told his usual stories and insulted the governor.

    “In less than four weeks, Chief Ihedioha has granted three interviews, all on Governor Okorocha, and in each of the interviews, he skipped talking about the 12 years his party, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), governed the state and the 12 years he spent in the House of Representatives because he knew they were all abysmal.

    “In the latest interview, Chief Ihedioha talked about Governor Okorocha’s style of governance and how he was robbed in the 2015 governorship election and so on. In all the interviews, he was very painstaking not to accuse Governor Okorocha of non-performance.

    “Again, we have also decided not to be reacting to Chief Ihedioha’s constant media attacks on Governor Okorocha because we have discovered that they do all these to give outsiders the erroneous impression that they are still relevant in Imo politics when, in actual fact, they have all gone into political oblivion.

    “The fact is that Chief Ihedioha sustained his growth in politics – from 2003 to 2015 – through name-dropping. That ugly development ended in 2015. Today, he does not have any other name to drop. And if he runs for councillorship in his ward today, he will fail woefully.

    “In 2003, he dropped the name of Atiku Abubakar to grab the ticket of the party and then went to the House of Representatives. He also continued to drop the name of (former President) Goodluck Jonathan until that gimmick was forced to stop in 2015.”

  • Lanre Teriba reveals album name

    Lanre Teriba reveals album name

    Nigerian Gospel singer Lanre Teriba, known as Atorise, has revealed that his forthcoming album is about praises and its title is Your Excellency.

    The artiste, who maintained that he only releases an album annually, said the title of the album came as instructed by the Holy Spirit.

    “I want tell you, you are going to be the first person I’m going to tell,” said Atorise.

    “I have not disclosed the title of my new album to anyone.

    “Each time I want to do an album, I seek the intervention of the Holy Spirit and the only thing that God wants me to do for Him this year is just praising Him. He said I should praise Him, so He can praise me too. So praise God so that He can praise you. God wants us actually to praise Him.”

    On what has been his motivation, he stated, “The most important thing is to be able to determine what you want and where you are going. You know, when you are focused. When you are determined, you stay focused. When you focus, you stay determined. That’s just it. I do the right thing at the right time. I make hay while the sun shines. I don’t joke with my job.”

  • What is in a name?

    During the 2016 Christmas holidays, two little Osuntokun boys, aged  nine and  11 years and resident  in London  named “Beloved “and “Anointed “came to greet me as their grandfather  and as it is to be expected of these precocious lads, they asked me all kinds of questions. They saw a picture of me and Queen Elizabeth and the older of the two boys recognized the queen and asked me innocently: “Does she know you grandpa?”

    Before I could answer, the younger boy said “yes the queen knows everybody”. I explained to both boys, even though I had met her three times over the years, that the queen cannot possibly know me but that she knew I was a Nigerian because that was what she was told by her protocol officer who presented me to her. Then the boys moved round to view other photographs on the wall. They saw a picture of one of my children when he was young and asked “who is this boy in Afro hair cut?” I told them his name was Oluwaseyi. “Is he an Osuntokun too?” they asked. I told them he is. Before they continued, the older boy who had a Samsung tablet in his hand had opened it and Googled “osuntokun”. He then read out some entries about some of the OSUNTOKUNs and frowned unexpectedly when he said “what is osuntokun syndrome?” and asked if it is a disease. I told him it is a medical condition named after Professor Kayode Osuntokun who apparently first identified it. It is an “inherited familial disorder involving an inability to sense pain and auditory imperception where hearing is normal but the ability to make meaning of speech is lacking. Sensations such as temperature, pressure and touch are still able to be felt” The child still said he did not like the idea of his surname being identified with a disease. I told him that that’s the way of the world and that when he grows up he will find out about Newton’s law of gravity  and Albert Einstein’s laws of relativity and other  scientific principles identified with individuals for their intellectual achievements and that then they will be proud of one of their forbears.

    Now to the kernel of this essay. Why is it that Nigerians like to bear strange names these days? Beginning with my two little grandchildren. Why did their parents prefer names like “Beloved “and “Anointed”? What is wrong with “Oluwaferanmi”, “Oluwawemimo” which correspond to those strange English names?

    This reminds me of a young lady on admission to one of our universities who wrote her name as “God is great “ Igwe . The computer could not handle such a long prenom and the name came out as “Great Igwe “and that is the name that will be on the certificate of this lady when she graduates. Of course we know that the wave of Pentecostal Christian revival has led to a revolution in the first names of our children. We now have names such as “Overflow” “Victory at last” “Open heavens” “Blessed Assurance” and less jaw breaking names such as “Glory”  “Harmony” “Blessing” “Dominion” “Trinity” “Daily bread” “ Thank God” “God knows” “Good luck” among many  others. Thank God we have not got to the extreme of naming our children “Yesus” and “Jesus” as the Ethiopians and Spaniards do!

    Names such as “Long John”  “Clerk” “ Cookie”” African face” “Big boy”  “Government” “Chamberlain “ “Bismarck “ and even “Hitler” have traditionally been given to children in the Niger Delta. This was because of the Niger Delta’s long association with Europeans. I remember a distinguished former ambassador of Nigeria from the delta jokingly saying the Niger Delta people did not know us upland Nigerians until the white men who were their neighbours across the seas forced us on them in so-called country of Nigeria. He meant it of course as a joke but the truth is that there was a symbiotic relation between the coastal and up country people for mutual sustenance. Still on strange names, I remember an incident when I was ambassador to Germany. A Nigerian asylum seeker apparently from the Niger delta flew to Frankfurt with a Nigerian passport with his names as “Otto Von Bismarck”.

    The German immigration officer had to call his boss who asked the Nigerian “Du bist Otto Von Bismarck?” Somebody translated it to this intrepid Nigerian “Are you Otto Von Bismarck?” To which he answered in the affirmative. The immigration officer then spoke to him in German and English “herstliche wilkome”, “well come home”. For those who do not know the significance of this name, it is the name of the founder of modern Germany. I wonder what the reception would have been if his passport had read Adolph Hitler! It is not only in the Niger Delta that one finds people with non-African names. The Creoles and their descendants in Lagos also bear names of those who either enslaved them or who rescued them from slavery. Some people in the neighboring EGBA and Ijebu areas took on such names as Pythagoras Williams, Benson, and Cole just to appear civilized and westernized. Recently I met one man called Kissinger Chukwu! I could not but laugh.

    One thing I know is that the parents who are carried away by religious fervor and fanaticism are wasting their time because when our children grow up they will change these names to names they can live with or else their friends in school would not allow them to have peace because they will be the butt of jokes.

    There is nothing new under the sun. When I was young, my dad gave English or biblical names to his boys and girls. We had names like Joseph, Samuel, Edward, Keturah Rachel, Benjamin, Ezekiel, Peter, Enoch and Moses .My father named me Johnson to my future surprise because the name is not in the bible. Two of us were given English names, namely Edward and Johnson which my father picked up in the then Gold Coast (Ghana) when he went there in search of the Golden Fleece! I stopped bearing the name when I entered university following the examples of Dr Benjamin Nnamdi Azikiwe and Jeremiah Obafemi Awolowo who dropped their biblical colonial names like hot potatoes to signify their rejection of British colonialism. Those were the days of Mbonu Ojike, one of the early Nigerian nationalists whose motto was “boycott the boycottable”. He certainly felt we did not need European and biblical names to assert our humanity. He was right and still right today. Not everybody in Ojike’s generation listened to him. Certainly not Anthony Enahoro, an old boy like my brother Edward of Government College Ibadan both of whom seemed to have liked those English names. This must have been the influence of the white teachers in Government College Ibadan of those halcyon years.

    When the British came to Nigeria and asked for the names of our people they got such answers as “Ojo” “Nnamdi” “Zanna” “Muhammad” or “Tamunobere”. Then they would say “what is your father’s name?” The children would remain quiet because they did not know their father’s names. Even if they knew it, it was taboo to mention ones father’s names. Then the British began to call the first names of our people and then attach to them the names of their towns. So you had “Ojo Ibadan “Aminu Kano” “Nnamdi Onitsha” and so on. This was particularly the case in the colonial army the West African Frontier Force (WAFF).

    The names in the northern part of our country reflect the coming of Islam in some cases as early as 800AD (9th century) in Borno. This has had ramifying effect on the culture and mores of the people. It is in the area of names that the impact of the Islamic culture has been total. But even here, there has been attempt to Africanise some of the Arabic names. Thus we have “Muhammadu “Ahmadu” “Yakubu” “Aminu “and so on. We of course still have names such as “Tanko” Ganduje”Ardo and others which are obviously not of Arabic origin. I remember my Sudanese friends jokingly asking me why we Nigerians put “u” after every Arabic name.

    The Yoruba people have a saying that our names reflect what is happening in our homes and lives of our parents when we are born. This is why names prefaced by “Ade” such as Adeniji, Adegoke, Adejoke, Adewunmi  etc connote royalty “Akin” as in AKINJIDE, Akinwunmi, Akindele etc connotes courage. There are names one is born with if you are twins such as Taiwo and Kehinde and Idowu and Alaba and other names like Ojo , Aina , Ige and Ajayi that children bear to reflect the way they came into this world . I am for keeping our culture and what better way to preserve our culture than by preserving our languages and keeping our names rather than having foreign names. We should leave the white men to bear such names as Bullock, Bull, Stone, Bird, Pigeon and such funny names only white people can bear.

  • Lagos to name entrepreneurship grant winners

    Lagos to name entrepreneurship grant winners

    LAGOS State government will name winners of a business-pitch competition organised to lower the curtain on the state’s Ready, Set, Work (RSW) programme for 500 final year students of its tertiary institutions next week.

    The 13-week programme for students of the Lagos State University (LASU), Lagos State Polytechnic (LASPOTECH) and the Lagos State College of Health Technology exposed the students to entrepreneurship and employability training that would culminate in grants for the best ideas and internships for the best performers.

    Last Saturday, the top 25 participants in the entrepreneurship stream pitched their business ideas before a panel of judges comprising two commissioners, Mr Olawale Oluwo (Energy and Mineral Resources), Mr Steve Ayorinde (Information and Strategy), and the Special Adviser on Education, Mr Obafela Bank-Olemoh.

    Also on the panel were the LASU Vice Chancellor, Prof. Olanrewaju Fagbohun; the Senior Special Assistant to the Governor on Education, Mrs. Seriki Ayeni; the Director of Entrepreneurship Programme, Ministry of Wealth Creation, Mrs. Abiose, and other investors.

    Bank-Olemoh, the brain behind the scheme, noted that the student with the best business idea and pitch would receive N1million.  The second place would get N500,000; while the third place gets N250,000.  In addition, he said, the trio would get N100,000 monthly for six months for upkeep to prevent the temptation of spending their capital, which could lead to the death of the business.

    The grant would be drawn from N15.5million approved as entrepreneurship grants by Governor Akinwunmi Ambode for the project.

    Bank-Olemoh noted that through the scheme, the government hopes to improve the quality of graduates being churned into the industry.

    He said: “We are trying to raise the standards and create an enabling environment for the youths. I prefer partnering with the private sector on this because it reduces interference. These students must believe that it is not what they have learned that will improve their lives but what they do with what they have learned.”

    Mr Bank-Olemoh said the scheme would expand to include other sectors such as entertainment and art, agriculture, among others in its next edition.

    Human Resources representatives from partnering companies, such as PricewaterCoopers (PwC), SystemSpecs, Guarantee Trust Bank, Access Bank, First City Monument Bank (FCMB), Total Oil and Jobberman, interviewed the employability stream participants for six-month paid internships.

    Deputy General Manager, Corporate Social Responsibility, Total, Dr Nkoyo Attah, was impressed by the performance of the students, noting areas of improvement.

    She said: “Generally, I think they are doing well – although there is a lot to be done to broaden their global knowledge. Some of them don’t know basic things happening around the country and the world. Some don’t even know the two major presidential candidates of the United States upcoming election. But they are ok in the area of soft skills.

    “But government is doing a good job. This scheme is so impressive – the fact that you identified a problem and you are making efforts to solve it. We would always like to be part of the development of the country. One person cannot do it alone; that is why we partnered the government on this initiative. We want to limit ourselves to 10 candidates for this first edition.”

     

  • Varsity only in name?

    Varsity only in name?

    Nine years after its establishment, the Ondo State University of Science and Technology (OSUSTECH) in Okitipupa seems to be a higher institution only by name. The school is facing many challenges that have led to incessant closures. The local Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) has declared an indefinite strike over non-payment of salaries and the government’s inability to fund the school. DANIEL OLADELE reports. 

    Deep regrets. Disappointments. High expectations.These sum up the feelings of lecturers and students of the Ondo State University of Science and Technology (OSUSTECH) in Okitipupa. Weeds have covered the institution. There is little or no hope for the outgoing government’s attention.

    Established nine years ago by the state government to offer technology-driven knowledge to high school leavers in the state, the varsity  has become a ghost of itself and an eyesore to Okitipupa indigenes, who were elated when the insitution was built in the town.

    Despite spirited efforts by members of the university community to save the institution from extinction, it has remainsed in shambles due to  its neglect by the Ondo State Government since inception.

    To compound the woes of the university, its chapter of Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) has declared an indefinite strike over non-payment of six-month salary arrears. This has further worsened the plight of the students, who have been at home for three months.

    There seems to be no respite for the dying institution, as the state is currently bubbling with electioneering. The Visitor to the school, Governor Olusegun Mimiko, seems not interested in turning around the fortunes of the university before he quits office.

    A visit by CAMPUSLIFE to the main campus of the university showed a status that betrayed anything close to a university. For a first-time nothing, the campus can be mistaken for a game reserve. The only set of inter-linked buildings serves as the Faculty of Engineering, which is the only one in the institution since inception. Other structures on the campus have been overgrown by bushes. The road from the school gate is untarred and riddled with potholes.

    In this mess the school has become, undergraduates are ‘trained’ in disciplines that are far from technology. A check on the university’s website showed the courses being offered as: Botany, Fisheries and Aquaculture, Microbiology, Zoology, Biochemistry, Industrial Chemistry, Computer Science, Industrial Mathematics, Geophysics, and Physics.

    Students admitted for disciplines related to technology are confronted with infrastructure challenges. They are only taught theory; there is no functional laboratory to engage in practicals of the courses they are taught in classrooms. In a few months, the institution would graduate the second set of students, but the majority of the first set of its graduates are unable to go for the compulsory National Youth Service due to the incessant closures of the institution.

    Unable to entertain the government’s excuses, ASUU, at its congress last Wednesday,  reiterated its calls for the reorganisation of the institution, and maintained its “no pay, no work” stance. The union vowed not to resume work until all salaries and allowances of its members have been fully paid.

    A communique issued after ASUU’s congress, obtained by CAMPUSLIFE, reads: “We have observed that the state government has totally abandoned the university and the reality on ground is a far cry from the impression created by officials of the state government in the media. It is visible even to the blind that the university is in a state of total neglect.

    “The Union has chosen to maintain a dignified silence on the attitude of the Olusegun Mimiko-led government to the university for a very long time, because of the integrity and image of the university. But, the fallacious statements being circulated by the Ondo government officials have prodded us to speak. Continued silence by the Union will do more harm than good to the image and integrity of the university.

    “Also, there has not been any improvement or maintenance on the structures on ground or any effort to erect new ones since the take-off of the university. There has not been release of subvention to the school in the past few years. We have observed low morale among staff and this is affecting research.”

    ASUU said the government had been inconsistent with the funding of the university, a situation, it said, has led to irregularity of salaries, recruitment of unqualified and inexperienced academic staff and decline in staff welfare.

    The lecturers said problems facing the university were beyond what the Governing Council could solve.

    “Only serious intervention from the state government can put an end to the challenges facing the school” ASUU said.

    In a letter titled: OSUSTECH: A duty of care, addressed to Mimiko by the local chapter of Senior Staff Association of Nigerian Universities (SSANU), the varsity workers said the institution was on the verge of collapse.

    The letter, signed by SSANU chairman, Dayo Temola, reads: “The university has been running only on one faculty (Faculty of Science) since it was inaugurated for academic activities by Your Excellency in 2010. Years after, the university still glorifies itself with one faculty. Other universities established after, including Kwara State University and Osun State University, boast of more than four faculties with different architectural masterpiece. We wonder what knowledge students can get in a one-faculty university.”

    Temola said contractors handling various projects on the campus left site since 2011. The level of infrastructural decay on the campus, he said, should be a wake-up call for any serious government to intervene urgently. It is on record that the university has not taken a capital grant since 2013.”

    Lending its voice to draw attention the plight of students in OSUSTECH, the National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS) expressed displeasure over the state of the institution. Its Public Relations Officer, Gbenga Akinsuyi, blamed the government for the decay in the institution, urging Mimiko to restore the glory of the institution before he leaves office.

    A final year student, Nicolas Olorunfemi, was dissatisfied with the strike. He said the incessant closure of OSUSTECH had affected its academic calendar. He urged the government to pay the striking workers for students to graduate on time.

     

  • Giving a dog a bad name …

    It is a doggone tale that Hardball has been condemned to tell here today. Because everyday has its own dog, the wise would never mess around with those canine creatures; indeed it is always better to let sleeping dog lie because if you stir it, you never know, you may be left licking your own wound.

    That is probably what a certain fellow called Joachim Iroko, initially known as Joe Fortmose Chinakwe (Joe for short) did, – he chose to lie down with dogs and as is natural, he rose with fleas. You must know the story or a variant of it: about this man who chose to name his dog BUHARI. But more momentous is that he has roused in Hardball, a litany of canine idioms and metaphors for your enjoyment. Here:

    Like a dog with a bone, Joe, a trader in Sango – Ota area of Ogun State, was not content with christening his canine Buhari, he had to boldly inscribe the name on the dog. Now truth be told, Hardball cannot confirm whether he did so on the two sides of the dog or just one. That distinction would surely portend distinct imports wouldn’t it?

    Now the point of divergence: Joe insists he loved President Muhammadu BUHARI; happy with him like a dog with two tails, he named his beloved pet dog after his president. But he never explained why he had to emblazon the name on the mangy as if it were a national carrier. Yet again, he was said not to have stopped at that, he proceeded to take his dog on a parade through the Hausa section of the Ketere market in Sango Ota.

    But a dog fight ensued when a fellow in his neighbourhood called in the police to arrest Joe, complaining that he disparaged the name of his father, Alhaji BUHARI. And trust the Nigeria Police, it is like throwing bones to dogs – they have been going at Joe with the ferocity of junkyard dogs.

    No explanation would do; the dogs have been let out. Instinctively, like running dogs, they had turned him upside down, detained him and passed him through the hoops even before they came to the realisation that there was a statue for the offence. They later remembered to charge him to court for conduct likely to cause a breach of the peace.

    Now Joe must find sureties to stand bail for him; he has to get a lawyer; he has to endure a long-drawn court case and so on. Joe the hot dog, he must have his tail between his legs now. If only he had listened to Fela’s classic, Palava. It says, when trouble sleep, yanga go wake am, wetin e dey find, palava you dey find. Poor Joe, he would kick his dog now.

    Well, let’s not cry for him yet, perhaps he is a dogged fighter. But what trader would cross seven (?) seas, all the way from the Niger Delta (as initial reports claim) to Ogun State only to engage in a dog fight. To what end?

    Verdict: play safe, just call him bingo!