Tag: Party Jollof

  • Party Jollof and family planning wahala (3)

    Party Jollof and family planning wahala (3)

    HI there! Now before you say this is looking like another Nollywood story with parts 1, 2 and 3; let me just tell you, this is not. Blame it on space constraints.

    Back to the pandemonium that broke out at the housewarming of our beloved Mummy Innocent of the Women’s Corner crew now based abroad!

    So we returned to our friends’ house from our escape place to find that a crowd had gathered in front of the compound next to theirs, blocking off the street. As we drew nearer, we were met with a shocker.

    We saw people standing in clusters around a pregnant woman with a deep cut on the head that was being attended to by a nurse and a man with a torn shirt, sitting on the bare floor. He had some fresh wounds all over his body. On a closer look, we realised he was the culprit that disrupted our party earlier. “That’s the guy…that’s the guy that cost us our party Jollof …” Sexy Jola said, excitedly like a Sherlock Holmes that just caught a thief.

    “Yes o, na him!” Christabel the fashionista concurred.

    “What’s going on here?” asked Ada as we waded through the crowd to get to our friend’s house. My journalistic antenna was now very alert. So, while my friends were looking for the other crew, I was looking for another breaking story. I and Barrister Ada forgot about the Jollof, stepped on littered food, and began asking questions.

    We discovered that the woman and man in question are a couple with six children between them. Problem started when the wife returned from the hospital after being admitted for severe malaria and found she was pregnant. And when she refused to abort the pregnancy, her hubby turned it rough and made life unbearable for her. The whole thing escalated to the point where their constant fracas drew the attention of neighbours. The man told them that before the current pregnancy, he begged his wife several times to take family planning measures but she refused. He complained that they could barely feed with six children and now she is pregnant again and it must be aborted.

    We were told that all pleas to pacify him, turned on deaf ears, until that morning when they started quarrelling, feeling it was the usual fracas, the neighbours said they paid no heed to them. Only to hear a heartrending scream from their apartment with the woman begging, saying “Please don’t kill me and my children,” repeatedly.

    When they rushed in, they found the woman with bloodshot eyes, bleeding on the head; and the man had already put the kids to sleep. The wife said he planned to poison the children, kill her and her unborn baby and then himself. And before they knew what was happening, the man pounced on the woman, pinned her to the wall, attempting to strangle her. After managing to break her free from his grip, the neighbours descended on him with blows and sticks. And when he could no longer take it, he ran out with his neighbours in pursuit. That hot pursuit caused a pandemonium that crashed our party.

    It was learnt that the shock of seeing familiar faces running out of that compound into the street alerted passersby. And in a bid to save himself from being lynched by neighbours, he ran into us, sending our party to the gallows, causing chaos that led us to the uncompleted building.

    “Why are men wicked,” Ada asked. “Do you know what you’ve done is attempted murder? In fact, Madam (calling the attention of the woman), please give me permission to sue this your husband. Na only woman dey do family planning, what about the men?”

    Ada’s statement garnered a lot of backlash from the men, including Tamara and Jola’s husbands, who argued they shouldn’t be blamed for the man’s bad choices.

    “Ada, I learnt she refused past attempts at family planning because they almost cost the woman her life. But besides women, there are family planning methods tailored for men. Men too should start exploring them,” entered our own Nurse Cordelia who joined us with her husband. Her statement tore the crowd apart. I nudged our crew to leave.

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  • Party Jollof and family planning wahala (2)

    Party Jollof and family planning wahala (2)

    Welcome back. Where did I stop? …Ah yes… the pandemonium that broke out at the housewarming ceremony of Mummy Innocent, a member of the Women’s Corner now based abroad.

    Remember me saying that incident left an unresolved question over who should undergo family planning measures between the man and the woman. It also revealed a very funny but thought-provoking drama. I’ll get to it soon.

    But back to the uproar that disrupted Daddy Innocent’s speech. Without waiting to see or hear what was pursuing the man that crashed our party and took with him our party Jollof rice and chicken, I ran for cover like others. I followed Sexy Jola, who was running in front of me without any shoes on into an uncompleted compound.  Thank God the place was cleared and there were no snakes or dangerous rodents or bad boys there.

    It took us a while to catch our breaths; but when we did, Jola asked: “What was that? Wetin make us dey run…Evelyn, do you know?”

    “If you ask me, na who I go ask,” I replied Jola, wondering why she was asking me. Just then, Christabel the Fashionista joined us with her Bone Straight wig in her hand.

    “Haba, Christabel, you too?” Jola teased.

    “Me too? As how Jolaolu? You nko? Was it not because I saw the two of you and others running that I also ran.”

    “Liar…Liar!” Jola accused her.

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    “Did you not see what happened? One cannot come and die… in a no-man’s land for that matter. I saw you both running this way and followed (laughs). Safety first my friend…leave wig matter,” Christabel said without being apologetic about it.  Just then, we spotted Barrister Ada running with her gele in one hand and a shoe in the other. “Ada…Ada…Ada…,” we called, with Christabel waving her wig at our lawyer friend but almost blinding me in the process.

    “Take it easy na. No go blind person o,” Jola warned and continued as Ada reached us, “Our legal luminary, I didn’t know your petite legs could run so fast (laugh). One minute you were sitting next to us, and the next one, you were ahead of us. But where did you go; how come I reached here before you?”   We all laughed as she teased our friend.

    “My sister, someone kicked my shoes away from my hand. And in the mad rush when I tried to pick it up, I only found one leg of shoe. I just took it and ran. Leave my legs o. Short or no short, even my sister Chioma Ajunwa, the award-winning sprinter, would not have been faster than me in this race (laughs). But what just happened …why were we running? Ah, my chicken…? Are you sure the remaining coolers of food are still safe,” Ada said, while catching her breath.

    “You see why I said we should have eaten a few plates immediately after we finished cooking. But Tamara and Tinu refused when I suggested it. Where are they now sef,” queried Christabel.

    “Let’s go and find out. I think the coast is clear now,” I advised.

    We came out to find we had ran a long way from the compound of our hosts.

    As we walked back, the street was littered with food. Rice, wraps of swallows, assorted meat, and takeaway packs, etc., commanded the attention of passersby. “Does this mean some people carried their plates of food with them or was the whole thing a ploy to allow miscreants in the area to have access to the food,” I wondered to myself. 

    And as if reading my thoughts, Ada lamented, “Are you girls seeing what I’m seeing, I hope it’s not what I’m thinking o”.

    “If what you are thinking is whether the whole incident was a ploy to get at our food, then you are right, after seeing all the plates of food that is what I am thinking. But I don’t want to believe things have gotten so bad that parties are now under siege. Evelyn D’Poet that’s an idea for a poem. You can title it: ‘Party jollof under siege’ (laughs),” and as if by telepathy, Jola’s words got us walking very fast, especially when we also saw that a crowd seemed to have gathered in front  the celebrators’ compound. On getting there we were met with a shocker…

  • Party Jollof and family planning wahala

    Party Jollof and family planning wahala

    Imagine enjoying a hot plate of party Jollof rice on a beautiful weekend with some personal buddies at another friend’s housewarming ceremony. And while you were about sampling the full-size turkey wing, pandemonium breaks out, disrupting the serenity of such sumptuous enterprise, leaving you staring angrily at your plate and turkey on the floor while guests try to ensure peace returns to the party.

    That was the experience last Saturday when the Women’s Corner gang were at an outskirt of Lagos, Agbado to be precise for a housewarming ceremony by one of our members who is now based abroad – Mummy Innocent.

    Before I continue, happy Children’s Day in arrears to our mothers and fathers. That funny yet serious incident that ensued forced all who witnessed it to reexamine the notion of family planning in securing the future of one’s children. It was so coincidental that just while we were preparing to celebrate the day with our children, Mummy Innocent announced that they were holding a housewarming at Agbado. It also left us with an unresolved question over who should undergo family planning measures between the man and the woman.

    Remember that Daddy Innocent who, during our Naija and Ghana Jollof saga, complained about the vacuum created by wife, a former banker that got caught up in the Japa fever, relocating to Canada with their kids. Remember him saying he didn’t see the rationale behind her quitting her job in search of greener pastures abroad.

    Well, it appeared that his wife’s travel adventure had paid off – barely few years after she travelled, they now have two units of two bedroom flats in Agbado. And trust us girls of the Women’s Corner, we were there live to share in their joy and help facilitate the whole event. She was our girl and we went all out to show it, taking over the planning and execution of the entire event on behalf of our friend. And if you ask me, we did a great job so much so that you won’t believe she wasn’t on ground.

    Read Also; Between Naija and Ghana Jollof (2)

    The day began on a very sunny note and everyone was in high spirit. We woke up at dawn to supervise the cooking which was contracted to Mummy Yinusa who finished in record time. And before you could say “Jack Robinson”, we were there. Our men had already set up the whole place by the time we arrived and music was blasting, announcing to the entire neighbourhood that Lagosians who knew what’s up have come. Our gele was popping with marching shoes and bags. We were ready to party, and party we did.  But nothing prepared us for what was to follow.

    Barely 30 minutes into the party, we heard some voices and thought nothing of it. Daddy Innocent had just finished sharing with us the story behind the building and the amazing role his wife played. Mummy Inoo, as we jokingly teased her, who was on Zoom, was projected for all to see. She kept smiling and nodding as her hubby spoke on. Sexy Jola had just whispered that she was looking very great – fresher and younger than when she was here when a man pursued by a crowd of people ran into our gathering. Pandemonium ensued. 

    Without asking what was pursuing him or what the matter was, we threw away our table, our food, drinks, shoes and gele, and ran to nowhere in particular, colliding with each other as we tried to escape….