There you have it in bold striking headline. Just as the PDP is trying to redeem itself, ancient and ancestral curses get in the way. It does appear as if the powers and principalities that hold sway in Nigeria might have determined that the former ruling party is yet to make full restitution to Nigerians for its abysmal behaviour in power. Napoleon famously dismissed Talleyrand as a piece of dung in silk stocking. Deodorized dung also smells.
If this were to be an oriental country with a culture of shame and zero tolerance for impunity, one would have recommended the South Korean treatment for the surviving PDP grandees. The Koreans are adept at naming and shaming their errant leaders. It is called the ritual of public parade. In the eighties and before the country finally found peace with itself, all its devious and delinquent former military rulers were paraded half-naked in public with the former warlords quietly sobbing in grief and remorse.
Since the advent of the modern press and the arrival of the printer’s devil, no printer’s devil could have been more devilish than the above headline. It was during the early morning press review on the AIT channel a few weeks back. Yours sincerely had to rub his eyes to make sure that it was not an optical illusion. But there it was. The confused lady reviewer made a hash of stuttering over the headline before yanking it off.
Since the headline was a recasting of a speech purportedly made by a surviving PDP chieftain, one does not know what to make of this. But not since Sigismund Freud himself came around has a Freudian slip provoked such mirth and laughter. Has the accursed PDP not savaged the country enough? With so much gore and blood around, you would have thought that the PDP thirst had sated by now.
It was at this point that Okon barged in, confusion writ large on his face.
“Oga no vex o jare. He get one English vocab dey confuse me. No be when mad dog dey bite everybody fiam, fiam dem dey call am savage? So dem PDP don become mad dog? I think say na only paper dem Olisa Metuh dey bite?” the crazy boy demanded. Snooper chuckled and ignored the mad boy. It was at this point that Baba Lekki shambled in reeking of cheap alcohol as usual.
“Baba, he get one Yoruba man for Igbosere dem they call savage, but I never see am bite anybody. But each time I see am I been dey pick race”.
“Okon that is my friend. His father was a famous magistrate”, Baba Lekki slobbered even as he eyed snooper with a look full of contempt and malice. “Okon, they never charge this one for hate speech?” the old crook asked with a sinister frown.
“Ha baba, oga never make eight speak oo. Na only six he don make. Na only for him sleep he dey talk”, Okon crowed with juvenile malice.
“Na yeye man. I think say he don tire. Make him go back to dem village. You no see how him dey look like dem hungry dog? Okon, by the way what is the difference between misprint and misprision?” the old contrarian growled like a mad dog.
“Ha baba, you wan trick me with dem grammar? Na only comprehension dey finish me for GCE, no be grammar. You see, misprint be when editor overshoot dem runaway like dem Port Harcourt plane and him mouth come land am for Kirikiri. As for dem misprision, no be when corrupt judge dey padi-padi with dem corrupt politician and politician come miss prison?”, the crazy boy concluded with a triumphal flourish.
“God punish your oga and your mother”, Baba Lekki screamed and stormed out.