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Tag: pornography

  • Big Brother Naija is sheer PORNOGRAPHY —Reps committee chair on women affairs Onanuga

    Hon. Wunmi Onanuga is the Chairperson, House of Representatives Committee on Women Affairs and Social Development. She represents Ikenne/Sagamu Remo North Constituency in Ogun State on the platform of the All Progressives Congress (APC). She was the manager of the Miss Nigeria Beauty Pageant being handled by the then Daily Times of Nigeria. In this interview with VICTOR OLUWASEGUN, she speaks on her journey into politics, her legislative interests and sundry issues.

    The number of women in the National Assembly has been on the decline. The 35 per cent affirmative action appears to have failed woefully in this regard. What is your opinion?

    I think it is one of those things that we ladies are talking about, because I think the 35 per cent affirmation is just not enough. Nobody is exerting any pressure on it. Even when the women push for it, the men try to knock it down.

    Maybe we are not lobbying well enough. Maybe we need to assert ourselves some more. Maybe we need to intensify our efforts in lobbying and see that it even goes beyond politics. It is not just affirmation in politics, maybe in appointments or in elective positions. What about the civil service and public service appointments and elevation for women? So, we are going to look into a broader perspective of the affirmative action and widen our net.

    Would you say that politics is a new turf for you? I have been in politics now for 16 years, so I would not say it is a new turf for me. But with regards to everything I have ever done, yes, it is a new turf for me. But I have been in it a few years. So, it is part and parcel of me now. I have been in the race for House of Representatives since 2015. In 2015, I was asked to stand down for another party member, and as a party person, I did. I found myself here through hard work.

    If you were not doing this, what would you be doing?

    I will probably be running a kitchen for the homeless; feeding people. That is what I will do. Off the street, really.

    Politics in Nigeria seems to be a hard turf for women. It is not easy for Nigerian women to play politics because of the money, violence and other things involved. How has it been for you?

    I want to believe what has helped me the most is the fact that I am a people’s person, and for you to be able to appeal to your constituents, you have to be a people’s person. You have to be someone in the grassroots. I don’t live away from my constituency. I have people who come to me sincerely and tell me all the stuff that my constituents want. They spin me stuffs.

    When we investigate, we find that some are just a fib. I let them know that they came to tell a fib, but they came to say that because they did notknow how I would respond. So, in this instance, take this and sort yourself out, but we would try and see how we would put you in a system where you will be able to work for yourself and you won’t have to go to someone to beg for anything. So, on a daily basis they go around, they come back and they see I am there.

    It is not like I am 50 miles away and they would have to call me before they see me. I am right in their faces. So, for most women who want to play politics, it is not knowing people at the top that will help you. You need to let your people know you. You need to be able to buy the truths, the lies and the blackmail and still stay firm. And let them see you are here and you are not going anywhere. You might as well just go with the flow. So, you need to be a grassroots person first of all and then you need to work hard and let the people who are able to make the decision know that you are on ground; that if they refuse to understand how much your people love you, electoral success might be an issue. So, you be a party person, be a peoples’ person and you have to be on ground. You can’t be a runaway politician.

    What do you consider as the major challenges confronting women in politics in Nigeria?

    For me, it would be cash. It is not like you need to break the bank, but if you need to be in peoples’ faces all the time. You don’t need to have a deep pocket; you just need to be sincere with whatever you have with you. Sometimes some people come to me and say, ‘I have not eaten for the past three days.’ You will see truly that this person has not eaten for some time and you have only N5000 in your wallet. You open your bag and say, ‘Come, this is all I have. I didn’t know you were coming.

    This is my wallet.’ You put everything on the table. How much do you need to survive today? What do you think we can do to get you off? I can’t afford this, what can you do on your own to get you to stand on your feet? You guys work out a plan together, but that money you have in your wallet, you are able to share it with that person. The person will say this person can help my life. The person will take that straw, cling to it, feed him or herself that day and come back to tell you I have a passion for doing this or that, but I need somebody to help me. If you help me, I promise I will help other people.

    That is what you need. To do that, it takes sincerity and it also takes knowing the places to go to help other people. You don’t necessarily need to take all the money from your pocket. Talk to NGOs that are willing to assist other people and you let the people know that you can access these things if you can do certain things. So, the problem that women have really and truly in politics is finance.

    Why did you go for a Gbajabiamila candidacy when you came in to the House of Representatives when there were other equally strong candidates in the race?

    When I came in here, the person that reached out to me was Hon. Speaker, Gbajabiamila. The others sent in their profiles and their brochures and all the things they wanted to do. When I read through the Speaker’s profile and the fact that he spoke with me, he took me to a place where I want Nigeria to be generally and a place where I expected the House of Representatives to be in order to be able to work properly in regard to legislation, with regards to how he would take care of old legislators, and for me, he showed compassion. I felt this is someone who had the brain, who had the compassion and who showed he has the capacity to carry a lot of people along. That was why I worked for him. What are your legislative interests? The aged, the women and the youth. But principally, the aged. I need a law that will make it a priority for the aged to have a place to recreate; just chill out and have fun.

    They have served their time, whether with government or the companies they have worked with or even their children. Some people have never worked a day in their lives; all they did was just to find a way to sustain their children to go to school. Now they are too old to do anything, even for themselves, and they have no were to turn to. Unfortunately for some people, those children that they laboured over are dead. Nobody is out there looking after them. To get a meal a day is a problem, let alone having clothes to wear. So, when I say recreation facilities for the aged, at least they can leave their homes on a daily basis, get to the centre, eat a meal, maybe not breakfast, maybe not dinner but at least lunch, even if it is an apple or a cup of tea they have for dinner and they go to bed, at least they would have food in their tummy. It doesn’t have to be a place where they stay. I am not saying old peoples’ home, even though I will agitate for that as well. But at least, let us start a recreation centre first so that on a daily basis, they can come there and eat. Let’s have a homeless kitchen that anyone who is not able to feed themselves can go in there and have a meal a day.

    There needs to be a legislation towards that, especially for the aged people, so that at least somebody is looking after them. All the people that are agile today will grow old, and if we don’t put something in place, I am afraid all the old people in this country will have problems. Some will even die before their time. Some people live up to 100 in other countries because they have people who care for them. We should care for our aged people like that in this country. Do you really have any agenda for your constituency? My state is a state of learned people because we have a lot of firsts. There are a lot of educated people from Ogun State. And as much as we have that, we have some people who are also not as learned. Probably they were not opportune to have access to education. One of the agenda for my state would be adult literacy, because I don’t want to go out and repeat a lot of stuffs. It is taking me this time to study past legislations raised on the floor, maybe they got to second or third reading. Even those that have been passed, I am researching into things that are my desire. I want to know why they failed, and if they didn’t fail, why we are we not implementing them. You managed the Miss Nigeria beauty pageant. What’s your opinion about the bare all policy in pageants nowadays.

    When I was Pageant Manager, Miss Nigeria, the pageants that I did were no bikini or swim suit, because I don’t believe you will have to wear bikini to show how beautiful you are. The first year I was going to do it, I had a lot of antagonism, even from the office. And I said if I am the Pageant Manager then we are not going to have bikini and we are not going to have swim suit pageant. Instead of that segment we had on casuals, they wore shorts and Tshirts, because we were looking for the intellect of whoever the contestant is.

    Women are not cows. They are not out to be displayed for you to see what God has endowed them with. When Miss Nigeria started in 1957, they were only doing it with pictures, and I said why should we have bikini and swim suit sections? So, for me, Miss Nigeria, when I was there, had nothing to do with bikini and swim suits, and I think it is high time we went back to that. What then is your opinion about this current Big Brother Naija show? Do you think it espouses the African values? First of all, I don’t watch it. Because the first time, I did, I think it was four or five years ago. I don’t know what I was doing that night. I think I was unable to sleep because I had lots of stuff I was writing that night. The television was on so I could have sound in my room.

    I don’t know how I got to watch it that night and I saw how they were being intimate on the programme, and I was like: is this what they do? I was shocked that that programme would get to the point where on live television, adults, so to speak…they’re adults, they can do what they like, but they have turned it to pornography. Even if it was under the duvet or whatever it is, it was obvious they were getting intimate. And I just got disgusted. For me, it is a personal thing and I do not agree with the values it is sending across.

    We have enough problems with young people being sexually active at a very young age. We don’t need a programme that will tell them that being that active is moral. It is immoral! That is personal. Those who believe they can make so much money with a programme like that, I think everything these days is reduced to naira and kobo. But we have so many intelligent, talented, gifted people out there who need to be encouraged.

    There are so many people who have invented things in this country, who exactly is encouraging them? We talk about corporate social responsibility, what exactly is the CSR of the companies who make money in this country? A young man at the time I watched the programme got a First Class from a university in Nigeria and he was given a cheque of N100,000, and a person who was cooped up in a place for 30 days or three months or six months, I don’t know how long the show goes for. Juxtapose it with a young man who concentrates on his studies for three or four years; someone gets 30 million and somebody gets 100,000.

  • School parleys parents on welfare, pornography

    The management of Trinity International College, Ofada in Ogun State, gathered parents of its pupils last weekend to discuss welfare issues, include the touchy issue of pornography among teenagers, during the school’s parents’ forum.

    Chairman, board of governors, Pastor Samuel Olatunji, said the school could not raise the pupils alone without the active participation of their parents.

    Olatunji advised the parents of both new and returning pupils in attendance to work with the school to boost their wards’ academic, moral and social wellbeing.

    “Experts’ findings reveal that the school, the teacher and the parents are the major factors that influence academic performance of students. Learning infrastructures are important, teachers are more important, but the home front is far more important. Parents have a lot of influence in educational attainment of their children. Their overarching influence cannot be measured.  And so, we urge you to be visible in your child’s total development. Monitor and challenge your children with incentives to do great.

    “This is a partnership and you have a role to play. It is a new academic session, and as our tradition, we always pause and reflect on our journey by demanding accountability from every stakeholder. Feel free to contact the school, make suggestions and meaningful criticisms. We have confidence in moral certainty, our values, as institution cannot be compromised. Our curriculum is robust and inclusive to ensure our children go out there balanced and prepared in life. We are reputable for combining academic excellence with spiritual and moral uprightness,” he said.

    In an interview, the Administrator of the college, Mrs Titilayo Akintemi, said that parental role goes beyond paying school fees.

    “We need to work together with parents. Parenting is not only about paying school fees. It is more than that. We live in a pervasive world; things have changed a great deal. While we do our part in school to ensure wellbeing of these youngsters, parents should partner with us and make their moral wellbeing a priority, especially when they are on holidays,” he said.

    The talk of pornography was handled by Mrs Gbemisola Agbato, founder of Solid Foundation Ministry.

    Mrs Agbato, presentation on “Pornography: The Impact on Adolescents and it’s Remedies,” was an eye opener for the parents in which she detailed how to detect if their wards had become addicted to pornography, effects and remedies.

    “If your child is easily irritated, agitated and preferred to be left alone with his or her laptops or cell phones, watch him/her closely. Pick up their cell phones, check their text messages, friends and conversations on WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and other applications. Help guide your children or they will be lost. A lot is happening on social media, even under your roof if you don’t regularly monitor these kids,” she said.

    If they suspect their wards are hooked on pornography, Mrs Agbato advised the parents to first of all admit to the truth, pray, and seek professional help.

    “If you suspect, ask if they have visited pornographic sites; ask when they started; seek professional help; feed their minds with positive things; tell yourself the truth,” she said.

  • The other side of revenge pornography

    There is this innate quality in most men which propels us to assist women whenever they are in distress. It could be seeing a lady with a flat tyre standing helplessly beside her car on the road, a mother with her child wailing or a group of men molesting a lady. The natural instinct is for a real man to rise to the occasion and lend a helping hand. There are many cases where this applies. I came across one recently which necessitates this write up.

    I had just packed my car at a shopping mall and was about to walk in when I saw four young ladies comforting another. Initially, I wanted to ‘mind my business’ and just walk on when my conscience pricked me and I approached them cautiously wanting to know what the issue was. I asked politely: “Is anything the matter?” They exchanged quick glances while trying to size me up. One of them nodded and her colleague handed me a Samsung smartphone. Seeing the perplexed look on my face, she said “look at it sir.”

    I looked at the phone and saw the picture of a nude lady. Again, my perplexed look gave me away. The lady that handed me the phone pointed to the lady crying and said “that’s our friend and that is why she’s crying, we are just trying to console her. There is also a video about her.”

    It turned out that this 19 years old undergraduate of a private university is currently faced with one of the toughest challenges of her very young life. Her nude pictures and video have been uploaded online and has gone viral. By the time they showed me the clip it had recorded over 2,000 hits which was why she was wailing uncontrollably. She kept muttering: “What will I tell my parents when they get to see this?”

    She got to know about it when her friends started calling and berating her for selling herself cheap. Confused, she asked what the matter was. That was when her attention was directed at the pictures and video.

    I choose to write this because I have heard about several cases similar to that of this young lady, and having the ‘opportunity’ of seeing one personally necessitates beaming the searchlight on the issue. It was quite pathetic seeing this lady, who in between sobs, kept wailing “Jide, how can you do this to me, it’s so unfair; where will I hide my head?” For what it was worth, I tried my best to encourage her falling short of asking why she could be this stupid.

    Jide, I was told, was her ex-boyfriend who decided to “punish” her for walking out of their relationship. I was also made to understand that he had promised to “tarnish” her reputation for life. She said she thought he was bluffing and wondered what he could do to tarnish her reputation. With this sinister and wicked move, Jide appeared to have gotten his pound of flesh.

    While holding the phone, calls kept coming in and her friends tried lamely to answer the calls the best way they could. In some instances, the altercations would lead to verbal abuse, both in English and Yoruba. I did the best I could in that circumstance to comfort and counsel them.

    When I got home my mind flashed back to Paris Hilton who had a sex tape leaked by her ex-boyfriend. I remembered Piers Morgan, then of CNN, asking Paris – in the presence of her mother – how she would feel when she eventually becomes a mother and her child sees her sex tapes on the internet. Both could not convincingly answer the question, they only riled at her ex-boyfriend who uploaded it on the internet. The same may apply to the lady I’m writing about today, no doubt.

    I also recollected that of Anita Hogan, but thankfully she has married and moved on with her life. But some may not be that lucky.

    For those who may not know, there is now a new vogue in town among our youths called revenge pornography or e-venge pornography. Revenge porn is sexually explicit material that is publicly shared online without the consent of the individual in question.

    In almost all the instances, it is typically uploaded by former lovers or hackers (In rare instances). The majority of images are mostly “selfies,” which are taken by the subject themselves. The images are often accompanied by personal information, including the victims’ full name, links to Facebook and social media profiles or addresses, which is how bad it is.

    This scenario is fast trending as one of the quickest ways of getting a ‘good pound of the flesh’ from a wronged lover. Unlike other anonymous pornographic materials online, revenge pornography makes the face of the act clear and ensures the name is also known. In some extremely harsh instances, the mobile contact, work details and home address of the pictured person are made available.

    Revenge pornography began garnering international media attention when Hunter Moore launched IsAnyoneUp.com in 2010. The site featured user-submitted pornography, and was one of the first sites that included identifying information, such as the subjects’ names, employers, addresses and links to social networking profiles.

    Since revenge pornography always has women as victims most times, it can also be right to describe it as sexual violence – of a rather crude type – against women with the sole aim to embarrass, humiliate and degrade them sexually, if she is career driven, she may be disgraced professionally. I cannot imagine that professional Nigerian lady that will hold her head high and go to work daily if her sexually explicit materials are circulating widely on the internet.

    The international legal firmament is already witnessing various fireworks to address the weak presence or outright absence of legislation around this. Some of the anti-revenge porn legislations are hoping – in addition to criminalising revenge porn – to also target service providers whenever the actions of their users are misguided.

    Beyond legal frameworks, it raises serious moral issue about how our youths are raised by their parents these days. Why would a young lady – if she really is a lady – occupy her time with taking nude pictures either in front of a guy that is not her husband, or sending it to him online? Why would a young man, on the other hand, decide to ‘punish’ a lady this way without thinking of the long term implications?

    What I take out of this is that mobile – and any technology really – sometimes exposes the dark side of people. To this end, the best defence is caution and deep introspection. A lady from a disciplined and proper home will definitely think twice before exposing her naked pictures to a “friend” because she wants to foster “friendship” with a man. The first lesson a mother worth her salt teaches her daughter is how to be a lady, and a lady is a woman of refined background and upbringing, a woman who behaves politely with dignity and integrity, such a lady will be more interested in the weighty issues of life rather than posting nude pictures or “sexting” with acquaintances.

    The same goes for the fathers as well; they are expected to train their boys to be gentlemen who respect women and give them their expected dues in society and not to treat them as sex toys. Because of the break down in our value system some young men have grown up seeing the denigration of women as the norm, it shouldn’t be. In the West, laws are enacted that protect the rights of women and children simply because some men refuse to grow up and be responsible, this is the singular reason men move out of the home in cases of divorce.

    Beyond the home front, there is the need to criminalise revenge pornography as a means of seeking “revenge” because of the far reaching impact it normally have on the victims. Some of the harm it can cause include psychological harm and mental health problems, anxiety, dent on family name or image,. depression and suicidal thoughts amongst others.

  • Kindergarten teacher on trial for child abuse, pornography

    A 31-year-old former kindergarten teacher faces trial in Germany on Monday for more than a dozen incidents of sexual assault between 2012 and 2018 and creating child pornography by filming his crimes.

    The man, who led a kindergarten in the south-western city of Heilbronn, is accused of at least 19 cases of assault against a child who was six years old when the abuse started.

    Most cases allegedly took place in his home.

    Defence lawyer Thomas Amann said in advance of the trial that his client who could be handed a 15-year prison sentence for the crimes would confess and was willing to seek therapy.

    Read Also: Teacher  ‘pours hot water on neighbour’

    The defendant was detained in March.

    It took more than a year after he was caught distributing child pornography for the Protestant church, his employer to fire him.

    Police are investigating the reasons for this.

    A spokesman for the church said that none of the other children at the kindergarten were assaulted.

  • Uganda begins porn users clampdown

    Uganda begins porn users clampdown

    Ugandan Ethics Minister, Simon Lokodo, said on Tuesday that a committee to eradicate pornography in the country has started work.

    Lokodo said that the government blamed sexually explicit materials for everything, from drug abuse to homosexuality.

    The minister said that the nation will invest roughly 500 million dollars yearly to stop “one of the deadliest moral diseases in the country”.

    Lokodo, a former Catholic priest, blamed porn for “escalating cases of drug abuse among youths, incest, teenage pregnancy and abortion, homosexuality and lesbianism and defilement.”

    “The nine-member investigate team will be outfitted with “top-end gadgets” to monitor or intercept the downloading, watching, sharing or transmission of pornographic material.

    “In addition, inspectors will be assigned to conduct on-the-spot checks for pornographic material.

    “The team will also be supported by 30 to 40 technical and administrative staff and anyone caught distributing or using pornographic material would be handed over to the police,’’ the minister said.

  • Unilorin warns students against cultism, pornography

    Unilorin warns students against cultism, pornography

    The authorities of the University of Ilorin (Unilorin) has warned its new students against cultism and pornography.

    The students were advised to adhere strictly to the rules guiding the institution’s operations as anyone found contravening them will be rusticated.

    Vice Chancellor (VC) Prof. AbdulGaniyu Ambali, and Acting Registrar Mrs. Rebecca Okojie, gave the warning in Ilorin.

    Prof. Ambali told the students they were the lucky few of the 110,675 candidates who applied for admission, noting that the figure was the highest number of applicants for a single university in the country.

    According to him, 103,482 candidates chose Unilorin as their first choice, with about 65,417 making 180 and above in their Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) examinations.

    Seventy-five thousand, six hundred and five candidates registered for the post-UTME screening. The university admitted 13,570, of which only 10,886 registered.

    Ambali told the students the admission was a golden opportunity to launch them to lofty heights if properly treasured.

    “I expect the best from you our new students. I expect nothing but hard work from you. There is no room for vices here, once you are caught, you are gone.

    “This set means a lot to me because you are the last I will admit before my tenure ends,” he said.

    Mrs. Okojie warned the students to shun cultism and pornography on and outside the campuses, adding that the university had zero tolerance for indecent dressing.

  • Unilorin warns students against cultism, pornography

    The authorities of the University of Ilorin (Unilorin) has warned its new students against cultism and pornography.

    The students were advised to adhere strictly to the rules guiding the institution’s operations as anyone found contravening them will be rusticated.

    Vice Chancellor (VC) Prof. AbdulGaniyu Ambali, and Acting Registrar Mrs. Rebecca Okojie, gave the warning in Ilorin.

    Prof. Ambali told the students they were the lucky few of the 110,675 candidates who applied for admission, noting that the figure was the highest number of applicants for a single university in the country.

    According to him, 103,482 candidates chose Unilorin as their first choice, with about 65,417 making 180 and above in their Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) examinations.

    Seventy-five thousand, six hundred and five candidates registered for the post-UTME screening. The university admitted 13,570, of which only 10,886 registered.

    Ambali told the students the admission was a golden opportunity to launch them to lofty heights if properly treasured.

    “I expect the best from you our new students. I expect nothing but hard work from you. There is no room for vices here, once you are caught, you are gone.

    “This set means a lot to me because you are the last I will admit before my tenure ends,” he said.

    Mrs. Okojie warned the students to shun cultism and pornography on and outside the campuses, adding that the university had zero tolerance for indecent dressing.

  • NGO flares exposure of youths to pornography

    A Non-Governmental organization, the Good Living Initiative (GLI), has condemned the incessant flagrant exposure of youths to pornography.

    The Lagos based NGO described the situation as worrying especially as the society is still battling with the HIV/AIDS scourge.

    Executive Director of the organization, Mrs Sussie Metu, made the condemnation at the Community Secondary School, Eguhuo in Ishiellu LGA of Ebonyi state during a sensitisation workshop on the dangers of the disease and early marriage.

    She noted that the influx of pornographic materials in the markets, stalls and homes have contributed to the prevalent rate of the disease which have caused untold hardship to victims.

    “If youths watch pornographic materials, it stimulates their sensitive parts and they engage in sexual activities to practise what they viewed”.

    Mrs metu regretted that the various video and print censorship bodies in the country are not living up to their responsibilities, as they allow uncensored materials into the market.

    “It is disheartening to see children watching films dominated by erotic scenes, as majority of films in the country mostly contain such scenes.

    She noted that these days, most television stations in the country show films meant for adults as early as 4.pm when most children are glued to television sets in their homes.

    “Another issue that needs correction is men urinating indiscriminately in open places in the full glare of children instead of urinating in hidden places to avoid exposing their genitals.

    She advised the students to shun pre-marital sex due to its inherent dangers but concentrate on their studies to achieve their life ambitions.

    A Director in the organization, Rev. Joseph Agbo, advised young girls in particular to protect their virginity as it was their pride that would make them valuable before their husbands.

    “They should resist all pressure from their parents and guardians to engage in early marriage, noting that it would debar them from achieving their life ambitions.

    He advised them to educate their parents on the dangers of early marriage and engage in meaningful ventures that would sustain you till you are ripe for marriage.

    One of the students, Nnamdi Ibe thanked the organisation for the gesture, noting that the students have learnt a lot from it while advising youths who have been exposed to early sex, to undergo HIV/AIDS test.

  • As revenge pornography takes centre stage

    There is this innate quality in most men which propels us to assist women whenever they are in distress. It could be seeing a lady with a flat tyre standing helplessly beside her car on the road, a mother with her child wailing or a group of men molesting a lady. The natural instinct is for a real man to rise to the occasion and lend a helping hand. There are thousands of cases where this applies. I came across one during the Christmas and New Year break.

    I had just parked my car at a shopping mall and was about to walk in when I saw four young women comforting another. Initially, I wanted to ‘mind my business’ and just walk away when my conscience pricked me. I approached them cautiously, wanting to know what the issue was. I asked politely: “Is anything the matter?” They exchanged quick glances while trying to size me up. One of them nodded and her colleague handed me a Samsung smartphone. Seeing the perplexed look on my face, she said “look at it sir.”

    I looked at the phone and saw the picture of a nude girl. Again, my perplexed look gave me away. The lady that handed me the phone pointed to the lady crying and said “that’s our friend and that is why she’s crying; we are just trying to console her. There is also a video about her.”

    It turned out that this 19 years old undergraduate of a private university in the Southwest is faced with one of the toughest challenges of her very young life. Her nude pictures and video have been uploaded online and has gone viral. By the time they showed me the clip it had recorded more than 2,000 hits which was why she was wailing uncontrollably. She kept muttering: “What will I tell my parents when they get to see this?”

    She got to know about it when her friends started calling and berating her for selling herself cheap. Confused, she asked what the matter was. That was when her attention was directed at the pictures and video.

    I choose to write this because I have heard about several cases similar to that of this young girl, and having the ‘opportunity’ of seeing one personally necessitates beaming the searchlight on the issue. It was quite pathetic seeing this girl, who in between sobs, kept wailing “Jide, how can you do this to me, it’s so unfair; where will I hide my head?” For what it was worth, I tried my best to encourage her, falling short of asking why she could be this stupid.

    Jide, I was told, was her ex-boyfriend who decided to “punish” her for walking out of their relationship. I was also made to understand that he had promised to “tarnish” her reputation for life. She said she thought he was bluffing and wondered what he could do to tarnish her reputation. With this sinister and wicked move, Jide appeared to have gotten his pound of flesh.

    While holding the phone, calls kept coming in and her friends tried lamely to answer the calls the best way they could. In some instances, the altercations would lead to verbal abuse, both in English and Yoruba. I did the best I could in that circumstance to comfort and counsel them.

    When I got home, my mind flashed back to Paris Hilton who had a sex tape leaked by her ex-boyfriend. I remembered Piers Morgan of CNN asking Paris – in the presence of her mother – how she would feel when she eventually becomes a mother and her child sees her sex tapes on the internet. Both could not convincingly answer the question, they only riled at her ex-boyfriend who uploaded it on the internet. The same will apply to the girl I’m writing about today, no doubt.

    I also recollected that of Anita Hogan, but thankfully she is now married. But some may not be that lucky.

    For those who may not know, there is now a new vogue in town among our youths called revenge pornography or e-venge pornography. Revenge porn is a sexually explicit material that is publicly shared online without the consent of the individual in question.

    In almost all the instances, it is typically uploaded by former lovers or hackers (In rare instances). The majority of images are mostly “selfies,” which are taken by the subject themselves. The images are often accompanied by personal information, including the victims’ full name, links to Facebook and social media profiles or addresses.

    This scenario is fast trending as one of the quickest ways of getting a good pound of the flesh from a wronged lover. Unlike other anonymous pornographic materials online, revenge pornography makes the face of the act clear and ensures the name is also known. In some extremely harsh instances, the mobile contact, work details and home address of the pictured person are made available.

    Revenge pornography began garnering international media attention when Hunter Moore launched IsAnyoneUp.com in 2010. The site featured user-submitted pornography, and was one of the first sites that included identifying information, such as the subjects’ names, employers, addresses and links to social networking profiles.

    Since revenge pornography always has women as victims most times, it can also be right to describe it as sexual violence – of a rather crude type – against women with the sole aim to embarrass, humiliate and degrade them sexually, if she is career driven, she may be disgraced professionally. I cannot imagine that professional Nigerian lady that will hold her head high and go to work daily if her sexually explicit materials are circulating widely on the internet.

    The international legal firmament is already witnessing various fireworks to address the weak presence or outright absence of legislation around this. Some of the anti-revenge porn legislations are hoping – in addition to criminalising revenge porn – also target service providers whenever the actions of their users are misguided.

    Beyond legal frameworks, it raises serious moral issue about how our youths are raised by their parents these days. Why would a young lady – if she really is a lady – occupy her time with taking nude pictures either in front of a guy that is not her husband, or sending it to him online? Why would a young man, on the other hand, decide to ‘punish’ a lady this way without thinking of the long term implications?

    What I take out of this is that the dark side of mobile and any technology really, is that it exposes the dark side of people. For those of us who desire to do good in this world we must develop strategies that are realistic about the nature of the work that has been set before us. If our solutions only alleviate the surface level symptoms without addressing the true heart of the issues, we may end up making things worse than they were when we started.

    A lady from a disciplined and proper home will definitely think twice before exposing her naked pictures to a “friend” because she wants to foster “friendship” with a man. The first lesson a mother worth her salt teaches her daughter is how to be a lady, and a lady is a woman of refined background and upbringing, a woman who behaves politely with dignity and integrity, such a lady will be more interested in the weighty issues of life rather than posting nude pictures or “sexting” with acquaintances.

    The same goes for the fathers as well; they are expected to train their boys to be gentlemen who respect women and give them their expected dues in society and not to treat them as sex toys. Because of the break down in our value system some young men have grown up seeing the denigration of women as the norm, it shouldn’t be. In the West, laws are enacted that protect the rights of women and children simply because some men refuse to grow up and be responsible, this is the singular reason men move out of the home in cases of divorce.