Giving her 13-year-old out to live with her new friend was a gesture she thought would benefit her daughter and also solidify their new-found friendship. But it turned out a major mistake as her friend’s husband soon started preying on her young daughter, resulting in an unwanted pregnancy, and a further dispute on paternity and denials. Dorcas Egede reports.
Imagine living with the pain of not being able to give your teenage daughter the basic necessities of life. Add this to the guilt of exposing her, albeit unintentionally, to people who eventually stole her innocence and youth. This is the exact pain and guilt that has propelled Mrs. Esther Igho to come out and tell the story of how her daughter, Deborah, was raped and impregnated at age 14.
According to Mrs. Igho, she had sent Deborah to Lagos to live with one Lydia Chinonso Pope and her husband, Abeke Pope, upon the insistence of her husband, Lucky Igho and pleas from Deborah. “Everything was going on fine and I was calling my daughter from time to time on Lydia’s phone, until I got her a button phone on which I could easily reach her. On seeing the phone, Lydia called and queried me for giving the girl a phone; she said it would distract her from her studies and proceeded to seize it. I had to continue calling her on their phone.”
The worst, however happened, when in July, 2018, she requested for her daughter to come home and stay with her, having been diagnosed with colon cancer and needed to undergo surgery.
Upon returning to Ibadan, Mrs. Igho, even in her sick state, said she could tell that all was not well with her daughter. But she couldn’t place it and the girl kept telling her everything was okay, until she insisted they go for medical check-up, which revealed that she was pregnant.
This discovery changed the course of Mrs. Igho’s life and led her to start seeking justice for the wickedness done her teenage daughter. Her search led her to this reporter, who, following the counsel of Barrister Toyin Falaiye, a sexual abuse survivor and advocate and founder, Jewels Hive Initiative, advised her to report the alleged rape to the office of the public defender.
The meeting
Igho had met and become friendly with a member of her church, Lydia Chinonso, then a spinster, in November of 2015, when she accompanied her pastor to a programme in the ancient city of Ibadan. In what could best be described as a costly assumption, Mrs. Igho assumed that if Lydia could travel with her pastor, then she must be of high spiritual and moral standing.
So, barely a month after they became friends, she released her daughter, Deborah, who was then barely 13, to go spend Christmas break with her in Lagos.
In her account, Lydia, concurred with Mrs. Igho on how they met. She also said Deborah started spending holidays with her before she got married in 2016.
Her husband, Abeke Pope, who is being accused of raping and putting Deborah in the family way, now in Police custody also testified that he didn’t know the Ighos until Deborah started living with him and his wife in 2017. “Deborah is a girl I knew through my wife. I never met the father and mother in my life. Deborah is someone my wife knew before we got married.”
A colleague of Lydia, Samuel Solanke gave an account of their meeting: “The mother used to come to sell things in the church during programmes. Lydia saw that the parents had financial challenges and one day the girl said she wanted to be staying with Lydia and she agreed. This was before she got married.”
The shocking discovery
Said Mrs. Igho, “In July 2018, I called to ask Lydia to send my daughter to me because I wanted to go for an operation and needed someone to stay with me in the hospital. That same July, she came back to meet me in University College Hospital, Ibadan and I noticed that something was not right with my daughter- especially from the way she walked to how she looked weak and always sleepy.
“When I asked what was wrong, she didn’t say anything until when, in November, I noticed that she didn’t menstruate. I took her to a lab for a urine test and the result revealed that she was pregnant.”
Upon questioning, the girl revealed that she was impregnated by daddy in Lagos, Pope.
“When I heard the news, I fainted. She made the revelation in the presence of myself, the ‘nurse’ at the lab, my husband and a friend. We now called the man to confront him. At first he confessed that he slept with the girl. He was even crying on the phone that it was the devil that tempted him.” Mrs. Igho said.
Following his confession, they asked him to inform his wife, so they could all reach an agreement on what to do, since abortion was not an option. He promised to do this, but after waiting a whole day without a word from Pope or Lydia, Mrs. Igho decided to call Lydia herself.
“On hearing the news, Lydia said it couldn’t be; that her husband wasn’t responsible. I told her to go ask him. Hours later, she called to say she had asked him and he said he was innocent. She said her husband even told her that my daughter once confessed to him that she had a boyfriend in Ibadan.”
When they kept denying after the man’s initial confession, the aggrieved mother decided to report the matter to the Pope’s pastors in his Lagos church. The denials continued until the pastors decided that the matter should rest until the child was born and a DNA test was carried out. The aggrieved mother thus returned to Ibadan with Deborah till she was delivered of the baby.
“On the 3rd of April, 2019, my daughter delivered a baby girl. After the delivery, someone from the church called and said I should come to Lagos for the DNA test. But when I got to Lagos and called one of the pastors handling the case, his response was, “Who asked you to come? Did you come with the N140,000 for the DNA test?” Cry for justice
Feeling more aggrieved and betrayed, Mrs. Igho returned to her village in Akure to begin seeking justice, since the church leaders whom she thought would ensure justice had failed her. On returning to Akure after the failed visit to Lagos, Igho lost her job with which she was fending for Deborah, her two younger brothers and the newly born granddaughter.
She had relocated to Akure to protect her daughter from the shame and ridicule of the unwanted pregnancy.
Aside her job, Igho also lost her phone in the course of this travail, and robbers broke into her house on another occasion when she travelled to Lagos, making away with her valuables. She said it was God that saved her two sons from harm.
The situation has also driven a wedge between her and her husband. “I have lost a lot of things,” she said.
Deborah’s account
“I went to stay with Sister Lydia and her husband during the long holiday in August, 2017.
“Around January 2018, I noticed that her husband started looking at me somehow, but I quickly dismissed the thought as bad.” She also noticed that the way Pope played with her and his daughter Susan (a girl Pope had out of wedlock) was troubling.
On the 17th of February 2018, I was supposed to go for my school’s inter-house sports, but they asked me not to go because there was no money. Sister Lydia was not around that day, and he sent Susan on an errand. He then came to my room and told me that his wife was not allowing him to touch her. I told him that was none of my business, but he said I could help him out.
“Suddenly, he pushed me on the bed, used one hand to cover my mouth, started penetrating me with his finger first before he now penetrated me with his private part. While still in the act, his phone rang and it was my mum. He told me not tell anybody, not even my mum, and that if I did, he would kill me and run to his country. He said he’s not from Nigeria and his wife does not know where he’s from.”
That was the beginning of many sexual assaults that lasted till the night before she was sent back to her mother in July of same year.
Asked why she didn’t tell Pope’s wife, since the threat was to not tell her mother, Deborah said she told her after the first incident and on another occasion, but she hushed her up.
“It continued until July; every evening when I return from school and sometimes, at night while his wife and daughter, Susan were asleep.”
“On July 16th, I went back to Ibadan because my mother wanted to go for surgery and asked me to come and stay with her in the hospital. I packed just a few things, but sister Lydia told me that I should just pack all my things, which I did.
“The day before I left was a Sunday. After packing my things, I went to sleep while they were watching TV. I didn’t know when he came to me, but I was already asleep.
“On getting to Ibadan, my mother noticed that I was not very okay and was asking me, but I couldn’t tell her anything because I was still afraid; until she took me for the pregnancy test and they said I was pregnant.
“At first my mother did not believe, but she later believed and they decided to call him(Pope). When they called him, he initially denied, so I asked him to remember when he was having sex with me and touching me.
“My mum’s friend was also there. She now collected the phone from me and told him that he’d better come out plain. Finally, he said he’s a child of God and would not deny it. She then asked him what next, because they could not send me back to him and they could not abort.
“He also responded that he could not abort because as a Christian, it would amount to greater sin. By this time, he was crying. He promised to discuss with his wife and call us later. But he didn’t and my mother had to call to ask if he had told his wife, to which he said no and gave some excuses.
“Unknown to him, the conversation was recorded. Some pastors in Ibadan listened to the recorded confession. But my mummy’s phone was stolen, so she lost the recording.
“Before we came to Lagos for the meeting with his pastors, Sister Lydia insisted that I got impregnated in Ibadan and that we should do a scan. So my mummy now took me for a scan. The scan, which was interpreted by a nurse the pastors called, revealed that I was 17 weeks gone, which showed that I got the pregnancy in Lagos.
“Thereafter, they started demanding for a DNA test.”
Even though Lydia and her husband had earlier demanded for a DNA test, when Mrs. Igho called for the test upon delivery of the baby, both Lydia and her husband said they didn’t have money. In fact, Pope reportedly said he only had N1,200 in his EcoBank account.
Mrs. Igho and her husband also said they didn’t have such amount of money.
The pastors who had earlier said they would pay for the test on the condition that any of the families found guilty based on the result of the DNA test would repay it, were also not forthcoming.
Lydia’s defence of the alleged rapist
Speaking to this reporter in defence of her husband, Lydia kept saying, “According to him o, he never touched the girl, much less lie with her or insert his penis into her private part.”
When asked why she kept using the phrase, ‘according to him o’, her response was, “I’m not siding with anybody because I was not at home. So, if they say Pope did this or didn’t do this, my response is always that I was not there. So, DNA will be the solution.”
She however disclosed that at some point, Deborah started returning late from school, and when she asked her, she always told her she went out with her friends.
“I warned her to be careful with the kind of friends she kept. I even called her mother and told her that Deborah had changed from that good girl that came from Ibadan, but she told me that her daughter is not a bad girl.” said Lydia.
According to Lydia, what made her send Deborah back home was when she asked her not to attend her school’s inter-house sports, but she defied her orders and went. As if that wasn’t bad enough, she said Deborah also didn’t return home on time on the day.
She said she called their principal, who told her the sports competition had ended at 6:00pm, while Deborah didn’t re turn until past 8:00pm.
Did she notice anything unusual in the way her husband related with Deborah? To this Lydia responded, “No. Me I don’t deceive myself. The only thing I noticed was that in the house, my husband is the type that plays with everybody. And his own play is overplay. I don’t play like that. I have boundaries. He had a habit of throwing throw-pillow at them (and at me), and those ones would be running round and throwing it back at him. But I used to tell him that I didn’t like such plays. I would call him inside and say, ‘You cannot be playing with these girls like this, before people will start saying another thing. Remember these are girls. Carry yourself as the man of the house. Don’t play too much with them.’ That is all I observed.”
I never touched her – Pope
When this reporter visited Pope in the custody of Lagos State Police Command, Ikeja where he was remanded, he denied ever touching Deborah, much less raping her. “I don’t even know what they call rape. I have never touched her,” he said
Pope also denied having a child outside wedlock, though his wife, Deborah, Mrs. Igho and his former pastor when he was still living at Kirikiri area of Apapa, had at separate times told the reporter that Pope had a child, Susan, before he got married. He claimed he didn’t have a child outside wedlock and that Susan is the child of a friend who is now deceased, adding that both parents of the girl are late.
‘My journey to motherhood’
Deborah who hopes to be a journalist in the future said she feared her dreams would die because of what happened to her. She has since had to stop schooling.
“When it was discovered that I was pregnant, I was ashamed. I couldn’t go out. I stayed indoors all day and night, crying. I tried many times to commit suicide, but I could not because I was afraid. Because of shame and insults, my mother had to take me from Ibadan to Akure. Even while in Akure, I was still ashamed. I still stayed inside all day, crying my eyes out. People kept encouraging me, but it didn’t work till I gave birth.
Deborah said the only thing that kept her going throughout the period was her mum’s love. “My mother’s care was the only thing that helped me through the period. Every time I cried, she was there to comfort me. If she wasn’t there for me, I probably would have died from excessive thinking.
“When we moved to Akure, feeding was difficult, because there was no money. My mum was washing and cleaning for two families; one paid her N1500 and the other one paid her N3500 or N4000, depending on the volume of work she did. This is what we were feeding on. Life was really difficult.
Whether owing to the fact that she wasn’t well fed or because her body just wasn’t ready for motherhood, Deborah didn’t lactate for up to two months. She said, “For two months my breasts weren’t bringing out anything, so the baby couldn’t get milk. When my breast didn’t flow, my mum started buying NAN. But when she noticed that the baby consumed two cans in one week, mum had to introduce pap. But the baby looked frail like she didn’t have any bone, so mum made plantain meal for her. She had that for only two weeks and we stopped when the baby became too strong. So, we went back to pap again.
“It wasn’t until June before my breast started flowing. And it was people that advised my mother to give me fresh palm wine. It was the palm wine that made my breast start bringing out milk. Even then, it’s only one breast that is bringing out milk up till now.
The police
When the reporter contacted the Lagos Police Public Relations Officer, Elkana Bala, he said “the suspect is in custody. Investigation is ongoing. We will charge him to court.”