In conclaves, they plot to no good end. When you have shouted yourself hoarse and nothing seems to change, then you have no option than to assume that arrogance, emptiness and vain pomposity on display on the floor of the Senate on Tuesday was just a prelude to many other episodes that the Bukola Saraki gang would be unleashing on the populace in the nearest future. Early in April when I described this band of lawmakers as anarchists acting like Trojans on the power horse, I didn’t know I would be revisiting that piece this early. But here we are, just two months later, discussing the same issue of delinquent behaviour by presumed elders from whom much wisdom is expected. When you look at it, it becomes obvious that the resort to outright blackmail underscores the clear and present danger this democracy has been subjected to by the same charlatans who, ordinarily, should preserve its sanctity. But then, haven’t we expressed the fears in the past that these ones are just out to fight and die for self? So what does it matter if the people languish in anguish as their representatives gloat in an endless battle for self-preservation?
Today, I repeat the same piece with the hope that someone in those hallowed chambers would begin the process of self-cleansing that would probably put an end to the kind of shenanigan that was witnessed on Tuesday in which one of the senators threw decorum and commonsense to the wind by declaring the seat of the President vacant and whimsically suggested that Saraki should take over. Thankfully, his fellow coup plotters employed discretion and shouted him down. Was that a joke carried too far? Well, you never can tell especially in these dangerous times where a friendly handshake is offered with daggers clasped in the other hand! Enjoy the piece as edited…
It is obvious that, this time, the distinguished senators would not stoop low and allow anyone to extinguish their new found adversarial voice under the leadership of Dr. Bukola Saraki whose ascendance to the office of the President of the Senate was not without its putrid backlash. But this is not just about Saraki. It is more about how the mud house President Muhammadu Buhari built with spittle on a sandy beach is crumbling daily. And from the look of things, if the free fall is not halted, we may soon be singing dirges to mark the end of a movement that came with inspiring positive vibes but receding fast into oblivion. Like someone pointed out, the ironic twist in the APC tale is that its leading VIPs could end up being the ones that would strangle it to death. Already, we are seeing the signs from the endless and, sometimes, senseless face-offs between Saraki’s men and Buhari’s diehard supporters. Unfortunately, in this kind of fiery fight, no one is sure whether it is a contest between light and darkness or the usual ego-trip between two greedy camps.
However, there is one thing we cannot take away from the latest muck-racking—the fact that the lawmakers have greatly improved from the usual motor-park brawl where members exhibit their pugilistic expertise against one another. The Senate has refined that aspect of the show. Now, they engage in endless and frivolous popularity contest with the executive. By the way, one is not against members of the National Assembly indulging themselves in some reverie of self-importance and occasional display of tendencies that question their mental strength to maintain sanity at all times. Once in a while, they need to let off some steam. What is not acceptable is when these tendencies become the norm rather than the exception, especially in the Red Chamber which ordinarily should be the nest of wisdom, understanding and maturity. Sadly, what we get these days from that section of the parliament which has maintained some level of sanity in the first 16 years of our democratic experiment is the brash youthful exuberance that used to define the lower legislative chamber in those years. Interestingly, the Green Chamber now leads the way in fostering a working relationship with the executive while the Red Chamber is poised for an infantile ego war with the executive.
The question needs to be asked: Is the Senate fighting this war for altruistic reasons and for the benefit of long-suffering Nigerians gasping on the throes of an agonizing economic recession? How I wish that was the case. But the fundamentals simply do not tally with that expectation in spite of the riotous rage being exhibited by some of these senators. Let’s face it; these fully inebriated guys need to let off some wealth-induced soberness once in a while, lest they get choked by their ever-increasing humongous allowances and fat pay packets! So, some pugilistic artistry shouldn’t be of any major concern to us, so far as these folks do it for the common good. Question is: can they, in all honesty, swear that those fights were in the nation’s interest? Like it was the case in the then House of Representatives where Melaye held former Speaker Bankole by his testicles on the allegation of a corrupt practice running into billions of naira, this latest running soap opera in the Saraki Senatorial Empire has nothing to do with the price of gari or crayfish in the market. Neither is it about the growing public discontent over a cataclysmic economy. It is nothing other than an extension of the history of legislators’ brawls and an undiluted descent into hooliganism by characters who find it hard to pocket their oversized egos. If they are not fighting over allowances or allocations for legislative responsibilities, it’s sure they are flinging chairs and throwing punches in the interest of a nebulous paymaster.
In plain language, this power show is all about 2019 and beyond. When you have a legislature that spends more time on recess as justification for quarterly allowances paid in millions, it would be an unpardonable sin for them not to revel in the vanity of their good luck. And when you have an executive that is bent on stopping their excesses, no one expects them to watch idly with hands clasped in submission. This is worsened by a leadership that sauntered into power with truckloads of credibility baggage aside the shocking ascendancy that was made possible through a mortal seduction of the opposition lawmakers. Truth be told, the root of the unfolding drama was planted at that moment when Buhari played the ostrich where he was expected to stamp his authority. Now, he is being haunted by that grave political misadventure of belonging to everybody and nobody. The house he built on a frail foundation is now threatening to consume not only his government but the entire nation.
Remember why the former Majority Leader in the Senate, Senator Ali Ndume, was suspended? It was because he popped himself up as a candidate for the guillotine when he attempted to fault the reasons adduced by the Senate for rejecting Ibrahim Magu as the substantive Chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission. Second was his daring impertinence, demanding investigations into allegations that the Senate President ordered the procurement of a bullet-proof Range Rover Sports car worth N298m and that Dino, Saraki’s over-fed lackey, did not complete his graduate programme at the Ahmadu Bello University. As far as our politics of whim is concerned, that was a sacrilege.
Last Tuesday, the plot thickened. Magu became an excuse for the lunacy of a sitting in which purportedly angry lawmakers wanted Osinbajo to be dethroned for impinging on the integrity of the Senate and the senators who crave the liberty to smuggle anything they wish into the annual budgets without any question! They want Magu out because they couldn’t stand his guts and Osinbajo’s justification of retention on acting capacity despite the command of the distinguished lawmakers that he should be summarily dropped! They just didn’t want to say that they were pained that the Acting President said he wouldn’t tolerate their excesses in butchering budgetary items. They just cannot live with the facts that Osinbajo, Buhari’s spare tire and the one they despised as a common commissioner in Lagos State, is now lecturing them on how democracy should work! They can’t swallow that pill!
This is definitely not a one-off battle. It is one rift that poses a clear and present threat to the future fortunes of a party in limbo. The APC as it stands today is a party at war with itself. The government is also gasping for breath as the President battles for his health. With a Senate President on a triumphalism lap courtesy of his recent victory at the Code of Conduct Tribunal; with a Presidency that is sworn on prosecuting corrupt persons including members of its own party, majority of who still wield enormous power as senators; with some of the conniving forces within the executive and with a political system that thrives on the promotion of selfish interest, I doubt if Nigerians would be exhaling any fresh air of positive change that they craved. Now, they are caught between hope and despair after sending the Peoples Democratic Party of President Goodluck Jonathan packing. Could this long-running charade be all their reward for change? Are nightmarish vultures the change that we prayed for?
One thing is sure though; if we must halt this drift into anarchy, we must first insist that the clowns pretending to be fighting for us must get their priorities right. Anarchy, by the way, is not the absence of the law. It is the overwhelming presence of the will to silence the voices of dissent. The Senate cannot be the jury and judge it its own case. That is how anarchists transform into terrorists. Obviously, the endless battle for political relevance and this naked, shameless dance in the marketplace ought not to rank among the priorities of a well-meaning Senate! Or should they? So much for a change that changes nothing!
