Media personality and actor Taymesan has shared the aftermath of growing up without both parents.
Raised by his grandmother, he said he initially thought this was normal he realised in the 20s the impact of lacking a traditional family setting.
He revealed the trauma and abandonment issues affected him while trying to fully navigate life properly.
According to him, when he navigated adulthood, he became guarded and struggled with over-independence, thereby adopting defense mechanisms, including humor, to cope with his emotions and by making others laugh, he sought validation and acceptance, masking his underlying pain.
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Speaking in an interview with Pulse, he said: “I didn’t exactly feel any type of way when I was growing up because I thought that was the normal family setting. My granny was well to do and she’d send us to the best schools and I was provided for , but when I started getting older, this lack of familial setting started affecting me in my twenties.
“I suffered from abandonment issues, I also was very guarded and didn’t want to be seen by people. Even in my teens, my grandma did everything that she could buy. I think I needed to be groomed by both parents. So when I didn’t have that I turned to myself and became very independent too soon and I started guarding myself.
“When I got into the real world ,I realised that people aren’t as nice as my granny so I started looking for mechanisms to protect myself. I did that for so long that I now have walls up that I couldn’t bring down even if I tried.
“Humor was one of the mechanisms I picked up in uni, I could make everybody laugh but I used it to turn everyone away from me.
“Humor was one of those things I used to make people happy being around me, so I was accepted. I was looking for validation and I was a chronic people pleaser.”
