TRUE love should be able to withstand the test of time. It should get better as it passes through the emotional furnace and be purified instead of being burnt out.
A teen-age father was arrested recently on suspicion of biting off the tip of his infant son’s nose in a fit of rage because the child was crying. What a pity! Well, you can’t totally blame him because he is not yet mature for the responsibilities entrusted upon him.
That, of course, is no excuse because he chose to tread the path early and must be made to bear the consequence. Joshua Cooper, 18, was therefore booked into jail on suspicion of child cruelty and aggravated mayhem for the incident.
The whole drama started when the police were alerted to the incident following a “hysterical” call from the newborn boy’s 17-year-old mother and first responders found the baby bleeding from his nose.
“One third of the child’s nose had been severed off and the child was rushed to the hospital and later transferred to the Children’s Hospital due to the severity of his injuries. The baby’s skull was also fractured, and his brain was hemorrhaging. After further investigation, this immature father and lover was arrested and sent to jail, far away from those he claimed to love and you just wonder if he was ever love in the first place.
Joshua obviously is not alone. There are so many hearts that have been fragmented and fractured this way. A number of people actually rush into the love arena without an inkling of what awaits them at the other end of the emotional tunnel.
By the time they are hit with the reality and responsibilities expected, their hearts freeze and instead of showing affection they give out the reverse and the result is that more hearts get frozen in the process. From love heroes and heroines, they become terrors dreaded on the emotional highway.
The emotional corridor, pedestrian bridges and highways are supposed to bring succour and comfort to many. Unfortunately, it now boasts of hit-and-run drivers, hoodlums and charlatans. When you find yourself in this kind of arena, you are naturally going to be filled with fear or worry about your relationship.
Well, this is another hard truth. Everyone does. At different points, we all have this inner “voice” that pops up in your mind trying to sort things out, sift out the lie. Here, you are bound to make more discoveries as well as identify the symptoms of a dying or dead relationship.
Sometimes you move on to a better side of the relationship, and it is at this point that things begin to fall back in the right place. But there are times when the voice makes your heart sink deeper into the abyss. It is important to note that when this voice comes up, you must acknowledge it for what it is.
The voice is an expression of some of your own fears or worries, but not the best of you. And the voice might be trying to tell you something it could be helpful to know, but the voice is rarely right. The voice is not your best or highest “self.” It’s a part of you, but not all of you. Being aware that the voice is not entirely “you” and is just that – a voice – makes all the difference in how you live your life and the choices you make in your relationship.
The crux of the matter is that when you allow the voice to speak for you and occupy your thoughts, it would certainly drive your emotions and feelings in the wrong direction.
When someone has a crush on you, they would be ready to do anything for love. It is at that point that they would overlook all the bad things that you do or have ever done to them. But as soon as you hit your emotional limit, then you have lost it. It is at such points that you find someone who has been showing a lot of interest in the past suddenly losing interest and wanting to let go. Of course, now that you have come to the realisation that you are about to lose the gem you never cherished, you would be desperate and your immediate reaction is probably to launch into “fix it” mode. You might start to worry, ask her what she’s thinking and feeling, and generally try to “fix” the situation.
While this might seem like a sensible, proactive thing to do, it usually ends up leaving you frustrated and can actually create more distance between you and the heart you want a second chance from.
Naturally, when one person in any interaction becomes the “convincer,” the other person will usually resist. It’s human nature, and we all know that you are likely to pass through different phases and your level of tolerance will determine how far the two of you can go. The best thing you can do is to take the focus off needing to fix the situation and simply give the person space to determine whether it is worth continuing with the relationship or not.
