Suicide reminds us of the failure to appreciate the fact that life is beautiful, even with all the grief, sorrow and problems
Many times I have been driven to the brink of suicide, mostly on account of governmental failure. You know what that is, don’t you? I’m not sure but I think it’s when someone knowingly ends his or her beautiful life in the belief that it is worthless. For the best part of my waking day, there is no electricity for me to buckle down and innovate to make my life and country a better place. I’m lucky if I get four hours. There is no pipe-borne water for me to do something meaningful such as taking a luxurious bath. Sometimes, on account of the bad economy, I can count the grains of rice on my plate. However, my thoughts do not turn to suicide on account of all these. What gets me thinking in that direction is what I hear others say about these situations.
While thinking of my sad lot, I heard an APC chieftain say the other day that there is electricity in his house for more than sixteen hours in a day, and sometimes for five straight days. I say when I heard that, I seriously became suicidal. I mean, how can I be in the same country and I would be so unjustly treated while a political party chieftain would be so preferentially treated? Life, I concluded, is not fair. That discrimination is enough to make anyone want to commit suicide.
Like in the movies, however, my thoughts did a loud skid to a halt in the face of overwhelming counter arguments. First, I thought that if I did the unthinkable and lopped myself off, why, I would be doing myself more harm. I would not only have suffered deprivation in the hands of the government by not enjoying electricity, I would now be giving them unearned rights to jubilate that they would have one more mouth (forgive the pun) to worry about in more ways than one. Well, there is the fact that I blab my mouth at them every week, in addition to the other fact. So, I decided not to make things too easy for them. I would stay alive to continue my blabbing.
Today is actually WORLD SUICIDE PREVENTION day. I think it is the day that the world turns its heart on and feels the plight of those overcome by severe emotions such as anger (that the government distributes electricity unfairly), rejection (that the government does not care whether they eat or not), oppression (from wives or husbands), hopelessness (in the face of terminal illnesses), and even derision (from friends and neighbours while governmental oppression is going on).
Believe me, many people have reasons to murder themselves. The alternative is to murder the government, but there is the fear of the police and all. I guess many of us don’t really like the police.
There are lots of reasons to commit suicide in Nigeria especially, if reason does not prevail. When girlfriends or boyfriends terminate a relationship that has become an anchor for some in this unusual country, one may be tempted. Terminal illnesses may also cause one to be sorely tried. Failure to hit one’s life goals may make the long tunnel beckon. By far the most common reason, people say, appears to be depression. You know what is, don’t you? It is that thing, that intangible feeling, that seizes the mind and convinces it that everything is bleak, black and hopeless. I tell you, when you are the life of the party, you don’t know what you got. Just ask those who sit at corners by themselves, nursing that vacant look in their eyes. You just never can tell what they are thinking.
Unfortunately, what goes on in the minds of people looking for a way out is for psychiatrists to say; I am not even remotely qualified to have a stab at it. What I know is that some of the people disposed towards taking their own lives often tend to look for the highest bridges, while some look for the nearest rail tracks. Remember the joke about the fellow who took bread along on his suicide mission in case the train was late? Well, the train was late, so he had to eat the bread, after which I think he changed his mind. Then there are some who use ropes, drugs, self-immolation, etc. Whatever the method, it appears that statistics about suicide are pretty scary.
Things are bad in Nigeria, and apparently, they are enough to drive one to the brink of despair. Unfortunately, many of us are not doing the suicide thing for the right reasons. Honestly, whenever I think that most Nigerians seem to have imbibed and adopted the idea that money is the source and end of their own despair, I seriously despair. I despair to think of how one can begin to educate and change an entire populace with this horrific, mind-boggling mind-set. I’m telling you, it is this despair that makes me wonder if suicide might not help put an end to my having to share the same country with this set of primitive human beings who refuse to grow up. But then, I remember the beauty of breakfast.
To some of us, suicide might look so easy on the surface. Just pop some pills and within a while, oblivion will take over. I’m telling you though, it takes a strong one to do it. I’m glad that most of us fall in the category of faint hearts and cowards. I think I lead the pack.
Apart from cowardice, there are actually other reasons not to commit suicide. For one thing, it actually complicates things for the family. It engenders so much grief, sorrow and problems much of which may not be surmountable. For another thing, it reminds us of the failure to appreciate the fact that life is beautiful, even with all the grief, sorrow and problems. As a matter of fact, these ups and downs provide the needed twists, hills and valleys that we call life. After all, coffee can be served black, with cream or with other flavours. We all need to appreciate this fact and not expect that coffee should always be creamy.
So, what do we do for those refuse to see this beauty in order to prevent a suicide happening? Friends, families and more friends need to be more alert to signs of indifference to anything exciting in life in anyone around them. Even though friends and families have always borne the weight of their loved ones who lack this excitement to life, there is no doubt that they would still need to bear more in terms of being more observant, alert and interested in the signs that signal trouble.
Furthermore, some of us could also attempt to adopt anyone with suicidal tendencies by giving social support. I call this the strong supporting the weak. This kind of interest not only shores up the family’s work on the individual, it may assist to fully convince him/her that others care.
Above all, suicides can be helped to appreciate humour and laughter or develop hobbies that can fully engage the endangered individual. Humour has been proven to release important chemicals in the body. It is important to get people laughing decently and cleanly. This is what this column has tried to do from the beginning. It has tried to show that learning to laugh at oneself is important for a good and balanced view of life. Try it.
I do have a question though. Are people who self-medicate or refuse to take their drugs regularly for problems such as diabetes or hypertension suicidal or stupid? When something happens, do we call it self-murder? Do please tell me.