Widowhood for many has been a shattering period. Getting back the pieces and rebuilding their lives takes time and could get worse when there is no support from family, friends and the society at large.
Interestingly, some widows who have seen it all are getting fulfilment reaching out to other widows in their communities. One of such amazing widows is Janet Odihirin.
In this encounter with Yetunde Oladeinde, she recounts the early challenges and breaking the boundaries.
JANET Odihirin is a widow who has survived many odds. Today, she is one of the widows who have decided to help other widows to rediscover their lives and impact the lives of other people around them.
She talks about the initial experience as a widow: “I would describe myself as a widow for Christ and it has been a journey through different phases for me. Looking back, I would say that when I lost my husband 20 years ago, my first experience was devastating.”
She continues: “I got married at the age of 18 years and losing the most precious person to me was really tough. I wept all night and in between I was singing, holding my Rosary and Bible. Holding onto God and His word gave me strength. I recall that my eight children, my siblings, friends and neighbours were all with me and a number of things crossed my mind. Intermittently, I wept and wept.”
It was a very tough and dark moment in her life. The challenges and a number of unexpected things synonymous with widowhood kept cropping up but she was determined to take good care of her children and cover up the gaps.
Asked how she overcame the challenges, she replies this way:
“I must say that I survived, thanks to God whom I served and continue to serve and hold unto. This helped me to raise the good Christian children I have and they continue to make me proud till date.”
For a lot of widows, coping with in-laws after the demise of their husbands is usually a tough hurdle. Interestingly, Odihirin tells you that her case was different and they have been a great source of strength over the years. “My in-laws never gave me any problems. They participated fully in his burial. None of them took any property that belonged to him. We had a Christian burial and three days after the event, I was asked to go back to Benin City where we reside till today.”
That, naturally, took Odihirin to the next phase of her life and you want to know what has been keeping her going.
“Actually, God was in control and in charge of the situation that I found myself. This way there was so little or no challenges for me to overcome. I also had a good government job as a very senior staff at that point which made me stable.
“Jesus Christ who is now my husband kept me going. I made sure that my children who were around went to morning masses almost daily before school and work. In addition, I learnt to be contented with what I had. I lived within my earnings, never borrowing as I never did throughout my primary and tertiary education.”
She adds: “I continued to do the things I was doing in societies I belonged in the church. It has been a very wonderful experience so far. Till date, what I do is based on my belief that when you serve God with your heart, He will never abandon you.”
This opened a number of doors and made a number of her dreams a reality.
“My turning point has been always trusting, loving, not holding grudges, prayers and charity work.”
She talks about some of the things that she has done for other widows. “I used to take care of 56 widows with one Rev. Sister but handed over to our diocese. I had prayer meetings with them as well as empowered them with soft loans after I retired. It was quite interesting because there were no discriminations, and our beneficiaries could be from any religion. In addition, we assisted in training some children in skills that they are passionate about. We also did special programmes at Christmas sharing gifts. We also had book masses and we visited them when necessary.”
Just before she leaves, Odihirin has a word of advice for widows at this time. “My honest advice to widows is that they should hold unto God always, serving Him in truth and spirit. It is also important to love your neighbours. As a widow, it is also important to find something legal to do to cater for your family. Once God has blessed you, then try to help those whom you are better placed than, for we all are gifted by God.
“They must never hate anyone, even those who hurt you and put you in your present situation. Pray for them for God’s love and wish them what you wish yourself because God loves us all. If you have very young children, teach them the way of God. I would also advise them to always pray for all widows, widowers and orphans.”
Leave a Reply