How to carry on a conversation

Lanre Amodu

Conversations can be pleasurable or burdensome, depending on the way we look at them. Carrying on a conversation is a lot of work. It takes a lot of effort to engage people in a discussion that is mutually profitable and enjoyable; most times, someone benefits from it while the other just looks on. I discovered that a lot of people have challenges with conversations. While some people speak too much, some others speak too little. Some people are considered to be introverts but they are not; their only problem is how to carry on a conversation so they remain silent. Sometimes you meet people and after the initial greeting, you don’t know what next to say. You find yourself thinking hard about the next question to ask just to avoid an awkward silence. Business interactions even end up badly for lack proper engagement of the client.

After some observation, I have come to decide that only a few people converse. More people believe they are conversing, though they are not. However, majority would rather stay on their own than converse. What is conversation anyway? It can simply be defined as an exchange of words among two or more people. The key word here is exchange. As you give, it is very important that you also take.  Conversations may last a few minutes or a few hours, but the most important thing is to leave your partner with a good impression of you. In your mind right now, I’m sure you can count a few people you enjoy their company and you love to talk to. On the other hand, you may also be able to count a few other people you would rather avoid. Just as you judge people by your conversation with them, people judge you too. This is not about pleasing people; it is simply about taking genuine interest in them. So, let’s check out a few things that can help you improve your conversational skills:

Be friendly: the first rule of conversation is to make the other person comfortable. Don’t look bored or uninterested. Try to be as cordial as possible.

Choose mutually relevant topics for discussion: avoid discussing a topic that will make you do all the talking. Remember it should be an exchange, so make sure that your partner is talking too.

Be a listener: a lot of people don’t listen to others speak. These people just want to say all they know about the topic without giving their partners the opportunity to respond. If you are a good listener, you will never lack topics to discuss because one point made by your partner can lead to another.

Avoid making yourself the subject: some people are so carried away by their ideas or achievements that at the slightest opportunity, they tell people. The problem here is that they tend to make themselves bigger and their listeners smaller. No one wants to talk to anyone who directly or indirectly intimidates them; they would rather talk to people who make them feel comfortable.

Don’t pry: it can be really uncomfortable to have to answer personal questions, particularly when they are asked by a stranger. If you need to ask questions about the other person, keep it simple. Without any attempt at flattery, dwell more on your partner’s virtues and the conversation will go well.

Thanks for reading my article today. I would really love to hear from you. So, do share your views with me by sending SMS to 07034737394, visiting www.olanreamodu.com and following me on twitter @lanreamodu. Remember, you are currently nothing compared to what you can become. This can be your year if you want it to be!