Birthing life: The injustice in having children

By Simbiat Bakare

A LADY was raped. The world kept quiet. The few who dared to speak up in her defense were shunned, threatened, and turned to villains. The lady never got justice. One in three women will be raped or beaten in their lifetime (WHO reports). Yet, the cycle of rape culture continues with no ending in sight.

A man was murdered by the police, justice was never served. Many times, no justice is served. Police brutality continues with no ending in sight.

A woman was murdered by her intimate partner, nothing happened to the murderer. The most dangerous place for a woman is her home (UN reports) as many women are likely to be killed by their intimate partner. This painful reality continues.

A boy breaks a girl’s heart. The girl struggles to heal. Many girls experience this pain. Many boys do too.

The concept of social justice is an illusion. Injustice is in the very fabric of our society, pain is too. Every human alive faces pain and sadness whether rich or poor, beautiful or not. Knowing this. Knowing the inescapable unhappiness a human being will face, why bring another human being into this painful world?

If you want to have children, then it is important to consider the following:

What is the purpose of the birth? For the child to do what exactly?

Why bring children to a society you haven’t made a perfect, good, safe place for them to exist?

Why bring them into a world where you can’t give them accurate answers to the questions they will likely have?

Why birth them, when you can’t tell them for a fact who God is, what religion is the right one? What is the meaning of life? What is the purpose of life and many others?

Because, bringing children to the world, without specific answers in place, is equivalent to God, creating us but not physically living among us, to answer all our questions. Not available to answer why He created the world, why He let bad people like rapists exist in our world, why He let good people die violently: die in an accident, die due to cancer, and many other painful incidences. Why He let injustice thrive, why He allows famine continue, why He created hunger, why He created the concept of the unending cycle of happiness and sadness. Why He let so many religions exist and people have to go figure out themselves which is the “right way”.

Why He is not physically available to answer every question any human may have, why He did not provide a uniform answer/religion to the people He created and eliminate unnecessary doubts. And why He leaves some questions no human can answer despite Him being in existence.

Aside from the injustice of bringing a child to a meaningless and confusing world, there are other things to consider such as: Is there really anything special in life you want your child to have? Can you guarantee their certain and unending happiness? Can you guarantee their safety? Can you get their consent to bring them to the world? If not, is it then loving to bring a child to the world?

Is the best way to love your children isn’t by simply leaving them in their peaceful non-existence? Because that’s is the only way to guarantee that they will never feel sad, be subjected to the prejudice of this universe; and have to partake in the rat-race-cycle of unhappiness and happiness till death.

Another thing is, even if you give birth to children just so they can merely exist, they will still cease to exist, as all humans will die. So bringing them to the world is still pointless in the end. As pointless, as God creating humans. For there is nothing to miss if you never exist. Nothing to lose if you never exist. But everything to lose, the moment you exist (including your own life). What an irony!

Interestingly, the thing about the eventual inescapable death is the torture. For you know for certain you will die. But you don’t know when, how, and where you will die. Also, you will probably die a painful death. Caused by cancer, accident, or pandemic amongst others and if you choose to commit suicide to control those factors, you are still damn to a physical, mental, and emotional pain associated with the decision of suicide.

Even if you choose to accept your fate; that since you already exist, you will just hang on with life till you die. It’s unjust to bring a child, another human being, to be subjected to this cruel fate, especially because you don’t get children’s consent before you give birth to them. Thus, you might never know if they would love life, and if you decide for them, they will have to choose between suicide or hanging on to life for the sake of it. This act is not only unjust but unloving.

Although, you might have a strong desire to have a child, maybe because you have a lot of money, and love to give, but is that enough reason to bring an infant to the world? Especially because there are progenies already alive, with no one to care for them. You can choose to help those progenies, make their existence more bearable, by diverting your financial and emotional resources to them.

If for a religious reason like procreation; the need to ensure the human cycle exists, you choose to have a child, then, it is important to note that; we are over 7 billion in this world already. So, the human cycle will go on. And, as a matter of fact, we are overpopulated.

If we are to examine possible reason we might have for wanting to bring a child to the world, it’s mostly never for the child, because the world isn’t a constant happy place for any human and all humans will still die. Thus, the reason we mostly want to have children is as a result of a societal template/expectation and for selfish reasons. Which is not fair to the child, the soul, the human we are bringing to the world.

Despite the unfairness and injustice; if you are still willing to bring a child to the world, then, the least you can do before giving birth to them is to ensure you have the financial, emotional, and intellectual capability/resources to enable you maximise your child’s chances at happiness.

However, it’s paramount to remember that true justice and love for one’s child is simply leaving them to their peaceful non-existence; after all, they are not writing a letter to you in heaven (presumably) to bring them to the world.

• Bakare is an expert in communications. She writes via : livelyhoodwithsimbiat@gmail.com