Review by Yetunde Oladeinde
As soon as you get a copy of the book, you are attracted by the bold book Cover in white and black. The image with a big oppressive fist and a woman’s lying and cowering in fear sets the tone and mood for what to expect.
In addition, the aesthetics and layout of the book also makes it interesting and easy to read.
Like a storyteller, the author takes you on a journey, paints a vivid picture of her experiences as a Survivor of Domestic Violence in simple ways using terminologies that the reader relates with comparing notes with similar stories or experiences.
Apart from describing her journey, she also talked about survival strategies in Relation to Laws on Protection in Nigeria.
It is no doubt, a moving story that relates to the experiences of most women in different cities and communities.
The language is very easy to read and the different issues around violence are captured looking at surface and deep reasons why the trend is on the increase.
The style also depict the different stages of pain as well as rising to conquer her world and motivating others, still battling to survive.
The reader is carried along and definitely wants to read the book from the beginning to the end with rapt attention.
Content
The book has ten chapters which cover the field of domestic violence, identifies some terminologies , definitions , the experience, deciding to take action, as well as all the possible effects of violence. It is not theoretical and is accompanied by case studies , empirical evidence, including stories of experiences suffered by the writer, Mrs Louisa Eikhomun- Agbonkhese.
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It can be linked to the story of the average woman, in the nooks and crannies. Women struggling to survive abuse as well as being determined to forge ahead in spite of all the odds they are confronted with in the home, which sadly has become a war zone instead of a comfort zone.
The author’s book exposes the elephant in the room in practically every society globally. Hidden in plain sight, domestic violence is a global scourge, suffered by so many people all over the world. It is also known as domestic abuse or intimate partner violence, and while the majority of victims are women and girls, it is suffered by all sexes and at all ages.
The crux of the matter is that VAW is a major focus of the United Nations and underpins Sustainable Development Goal 5, which is on Gender Equality.
Often victims suffer in silence, usually feeling that they are to blame, and where people in their communities are made aware of the abuse suffered, it is often treated as a private family matter, because the abuser is usually a family member. Louisa’s abuser was her husband. She was an abused woman who was courageous enough to escape the tyranny of intimate partner violence. She has also come out boldly to share her experiences and to call out the elephant, and so help people realise that they do not have to live in fear and bondage, with the risk of dying prematurely at the hands of their abuser.
It is not a legal book in any way although it contains primary laws dealing with domestic violence in Nigeria and Edo state as its last two chapters. In reality, it is a practical treatise on domestic violence generally, and domestic violence within Nigeria from her personal experience as a survivor of domestic violence.
A critical look therefore shows that the publication can be regarded as a handbook for persons suffering from this awful scourge and useful to those who are contemplating what steps to take to cope with their present situations. It is frankly, explicitly, and experientially written. It tells of the authors experiences at the hands of an abuser that she was married to, and the effects on the children of that relationship. It also frankly delves into societal attitudes towards domestic violence, and how they support or inhibit survivors who have taken the brave step of separating from their abusers.