The Honorebu* Who Slapped the Law
SNAPSONG 237
The Honorebu’s first question
Was preceded with a very Honorebu slap
So loud his neighbours thought
It was a thunderclap
“Who are you, wretched driver;
What madness drove you
To disturb my Honorebu leisure
In the middle of an empty day?
In my Honorably acquired mansion
Where, between booze and boast,
I churn out the bills which beget those laws
That have turned Nigeria into a Paradise”
The second slap came with an imperial swagger:
“How dare you! Do you know who I am?”
Then a frightening combination of raw power and magic blustering:
“I will make you disappear, and nothing will happen”
King-size ego, consuming conceit
Vintage Lawmaker of a lawless Republic
Who “monkeys” the people and “rats” their worth
Standing so tall on the grave of assassinated dreams
So carefully curated
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This poignant parable of Nigerian imuniti**
Its powerfool protagonist, its convoy of clowns
Who bluff and strut beneath their tinsel crowns
“Do you know who I am?”
The Honorebu asked his “stupid-idiot” driver
Challenging us, dear readers,
To read this poem and answer his question.
*Imuniti un-arrestability. A Yoruba coinage from a conflation of “immunity” and “impunity”
**For a peculiarly Nigerian meaning of this word, I recommend a quick journey to Honorebu, Akeem Lasisi’s rip-roaring video.