By Funmi Akingbade
I can still recollect vividly years ago when my first cousin was getting married. Preparations were in top gear; all had to be perfect because she was the daughter of a highly respected captain.
A night before her ‘Spinsters Eve’ her mother called her into the bedroom to give her the final word of advice. ‘His meals must be served on time, wholesome, attractive and inviting. You must be a neat and good cook; because the only way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,’ she said.
Most wives-to-be in this part of the world must have heard it said once or twice that the ‘only way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’. Well, the truth is that this is an overstretched half-truth. Many a wife has come to realise that, even when she feeds her husband well with the best delicacies that money can buy, what will really rein him in for good and ensure that he stays indoors most of time – especially on the weekends – is how well she takes care of him in bed.
Wives, no matter what you think, it is what you do in bed and in other matters, apart from food, that will guarantee a sealed deal between you and your husband. I am not saying that giving him good erotic ‘one-in-town-sex is the ‘only’ way to set your marriage on the path of bliss. What I mean is that everything else could amount to nothing without good financial bedrock and great sex. Actually, sex is so important to your husband, that it will be unwise not to live up to his expectation in bed.
Most wives were not born with the ability to make their husbands look great in bed, or to make them scream their heads off in the heat of the action. It doesn’t hurt to appreciate the fact that sex is an art that could be learned and perfected by wives who are sincere about making their marriages successful.
For this reason, I want to talk about what every wife who wants to keep her husband should know. They are little things that we take for granted, which, frankly speaking, make a world of difference between satisfying our men sexually, or alienating them and thereby, giving room to unnecessary quarrels in the home.
To begin with, if there is one place in your home that you need to pay a lot of attention to, it is the bedroom. Wives should keep their bedroom neat at all times. The bedroom is the wife’s empire and office of authority where she takes sexual powers into her hands, influences and control her husband at will and where her laws are executed.
Make it a point of duty to change the arrangement and colour of your bedroom quarterly. Nothing kills passion faster than faded, unappealing and ugly grandma-type underwear, or cheap, low quality brassieres that sag.
Invest in good and sexy lingerie that will not only bring an appreciative response from your husband, but ensure that you get his undivided attention. After all, what do you want from him – devotion and uninterrupted moments?
Wise women understand the need to turn the bedroom into one unpretentious sex theatre. Everything in your bedroom must look, smell and feel erotic, passionate, colourful, calming, inviting and sexy – from the beddings to the décor and right down to the lighting. It is important to eliminate distractions by restricting, for example, the television set to the sitting room (where it really ought to be) and ensuring that books remained in the study. Your bed is not an extended laundry room where the remnant of your children’s clothing are carelessly dumped, nor a nursery room that is drenched, dripping wet, soaked and saturated with the filth of urine.
The bedroom should only be for making romantic, erotic and sexual conversations, coddling, sleeping in a peaceful manner and for hot, unforgettable sex. Nothing else is acceptable.
Mothers don’t tell us to flaunt our bodies before our husband, but this is one of the ways to his heart. Flaunt your God-given body seductively before your husband because it is your unique gift to him. A confident display of your body in a seductive manner is a sure-fire turn-on for any man, and quite honestly, chances are he will not really care that your figure is not drop-dead, come-hither type.
It will not cost you a dime to be adventurous in your own bedroom. It is the perfect place to actualise your sexual fantasy. While you are at it, remember that going through the same routine all the time will lead both of you nowhere. Therefore, it is important to break the repetitiveness by trying out something new.
For example, if you always have sex before turning out the lights, you can try it in the morning as soon as you wake up from sleep. If your man is always positioned on top during sex, surprise him with a bit of bedroom acrobatics. If he is always the one who makes the first move, now is the time to turn the tables round and take the initiative for a change.
Go all out to flavour up your sex life. Dream up new ideas. Doing this will not make you look like a slut, rather it will transform you into your husband’s dream. Believe me, with most men, there’s nothing that’s as thrilling as a wife with a healthy sexual appetite and a heart that is willing to try out new ideas in bed. Anybody can cook better than you and anyone can feed your man well, but nobody should be able to give him great sex; the moment that happens you have lost the man.
Mothers don’t tell us to flirt with our husbands, but flirting could spice up your sex life. Wife, form a habit of flirting with your husband all the time. When you put on your alluring airs, you are indirectly him that you are always interested in his sexual prowess; men react positively to this kind of attitude.
Mothers say respect your husband, but they never tell us to look at them with tempting eyes. The way you look at your husband is very important. This is because glances could generate an exchange of sexual energy.
Dressing seductively could eventually get your husband fired up sexually, even though he would pretend initially not to notice. Any wife that is serious about winning the attention of her husband and getting into his heart ought to keep a sexy kit handy and make sure that all the items are available anytime, anywhere and at strategic points in the car, kitchen, and bed sides.
Most husbands are frequently under sexual pressure. A recent research revealed that an average man thinks about sex at least ten to twelve times in a day and ejaculates frequently when they are beside an attractive lady. It does not matter whether you are newlywed, a nursing mother, a menopausal spouse. What matters is that you must treat the matrimonial bed like a bona fide business and make it one. You can even be a little mysterious sexually. The fact is if a wife arouses her husband’s curiosity, it is guaranteed he will always be back for more.
You voice your fantasy too! Mother says you would ‘be looked at as a ‘spoilt girl’. But creating sexual scenarios in your mind, sharing and practicing them with your spouse is never a bad way into his heart. Experts say all living beings have sexual fantasies; many imagine themselves enjoying erotic moments with their spouses in strange places at strange times and so on. Sharing sexual fantasies with your husband is a way of heightening and intensifying erotic potential by showing your husband possibilities that he has never considered before. In turn, this will open the door to his heart and a lifetime of sexual ecstasy.
Men love women who behave well because good behaviour is like an appetizer to a beautiful sexual life. Unfortunately, this is one area where most wives miss it. Most women hardly understand that heartfelt verbal compliments or words of appreciation have their unique effect on any relationship. Words of admiration and compliments are greater motivators than negative speech. When husbands receive comforting words from their wives, they are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate beautifully on their sexuality.
Most men have sexual problems that often rub off badly on their self-confidence and which they lack the courage to confront. Sometimes they complain of premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, weak erection and loss of libido. When wives encourage their husbands their actions act like catalysts for them to face any challenges with great hope.
A lot of the complaints I have received from men about the size of their sex organs is primarily initiated by their wives’ sarcastic criticism and comments. However, with 36-hour-of-freedom or great Cialis, premature ejaculation is becoming outdated, while the herbs from Vietnam are taking care of weak erection and erectile dysfunction.
Our men will always interpret our sexual messages to them from the tone of our voices and body movement, not the words we speak. When what we say to them connotes condemnation and judgment we send them away from our beds on indefinite leave and make them sexually impotent. Good speech goes a long way to improving a man’s libido and creating a pathway to his heart.
Great sex is like a basic chemical reaction between spouses, so give your husband the best sex so ever. The best sex lasts between seven and thirteen minutes. According to a study published in a journal, medical researchers who surveyed peoples bedroom preferences says three minutes is too short, five to ten minutes is adequate and 30 minutes is too long. For now, keep your sex passion aflame.
QUESTION ONE
I am a new bride, though I have been sexually active few months to my wedding, I am worried over some things. Why do I get more vaginal infections now that I am married? Should I tell my husband that I am infected? Is it okay to have sex with the condition, because the man is just all over me?
During sex, your husband’s penis can propel rectal bacteria present near your vaginal opening into your urethra. Peeing after sex and cleaning your genital area with soap before sex will kill those bacteria. Yes, do tell him, just to assure him that the condition is harmless and poses no risk to his health; because they are rarely sexually transmitted disease and healthy husbands almost never develop them. With yeast infection, the vaginal tissues become inflamed, having sex further increases the irritation and slows down the healing process. Wait three days till the infection clears up before having sex, since symptoms such as burning, itching, and lack of lubrication could make sex very uncomfortable.
QUESTION TWO
My husband’s libido has totally tapered off in the past few months and I can’t figure out why. I know I haven’t changed, but he’s now seldom able to rev his engine. He’s having some financial issues, so I can’t really suggest a romantic time-out together to reignite his flame. What do you think the problem is?
It could be number of things: a medical issue, depression, air pollution or stress. I think you actually provided a pointer that could answer your question; the lack of money – it has a tremendous effect on a man’s ego, which means it also has a tremendous effect on his penis. Therefore, your husband is most likely to be depressed by his current lack of finances.
Unfortunately, there’s not enough lingerie in the world that would solve his real problems. So focus on lifting his spirits while avoiding the subject of money as much as possible. Suggest low-key outings and introducing him to Cialis 36-hour-of-freedom and Vietnam herbs to boost his libido. This would prove to him that you love him enough to see him through his rough patch.
