Category: Sam Omatseye

  • Louis @ 50.

    Louis @ 50.

    One day, a certain fellow burst through the door with a tentative, if boyish smile, twirling a sheet of paper. His greeting revealed a guttural gift as he strolled into Tunji Bello’s office. This was in the 1990’s in Concord Press.

    I was to learn later that that young man had more than a guttural gift. Added to that, he had a gift of guts and grit. The first thing I heard after that visit was a word of praise from Bello. If his smile was tentative, his competence illuminated.

    He said the young man was working downstairs. He was not a journalist. He was Louis Odion and wrote this, showing me the write-up. He wanted it published and he had encouraged him to keep writing because he was a damn good – not his words – man of letters. I took a look at his script later, and I wondered if he had strode through the walls of the university because he wrote better than many who had their master’s degree in literature. Bello said he had not. He was working as a stenographer.

    Bello’s idea – this gift would not waste. His plan – he had to find a route for him to journalism. He was a penman that must not be penned.

    In his writing, I saw guts and grits, and one more quality: elegance, a muscular sort of beauty. You could almost hear his guttural voice leap out of his syntax. He was doing his job downstairs, but his joy figured in the words and figures of speech in the sheets of paper he transported upstairs.

    We were in the political desk of the newspaper, and Bello was the political editor who wanted to get the new kid on the block with a blockbuster style into the swing of political writing, or any writing he wanted.

    He did. From my recollection, June 12 and the adversity of the military ban on Concord newspapers opened the way for Bello to edit an interim newspaper, The Daily News, and Odion was an easy pick to work in the team. From then on, dream and chance met never to part.

    After the ban, Bello had him join the journalism aspect of business. Since then, Louis has risen from the obscure role of a backwoods staff of a newspaper to a star player in the firmament of the profession, earning the name capacity in humour and in deed. He has been editor, columnist, editor-in-chief. Along the way, he has gulped a variety of accolades, including quite a few as columnist of the year from the Nigerian Media Merit Awards and Informed commentary from Diamond Awards for Media Excellence. His writing has entertained many, ripped many a powerful man and woman, amused with its sometimes subversive humour. He has had tea and dinner with personages with the titles of president, governor, diplomat and Nobel laureate. His writing has shown a great sense of history, political insights and immersion in literary traditions.

    Odion, knowing that he had to work himself through the university portal, decided to study and grab a degree in English at the University of Lagos. I recall in our days in Sunday Concord when we discussed subjects and shared books on some important themes in world and African literature.

    But he is not just a good man in his profession, but in his relations. During my American sojourn, he became my editor as he accommodated my weekly columns when he shepherded the Sunday Sun. Of course, with the blessings of Mike Awoyinfa, the editor-in-chief. He also, for good humour, became my literary agent, as every money due to me in the newspaper for my work he secured. I never took any of the money for myself, but he did me the duty of parceling sums with zest and integrity to every loved one I wanted to have it. It is an honour I would not forget.

    During that time, I had the joy to read his every column, including a moving one about his grueling visit to a dentist, a thing that made me wonder privately what damage it might have inflicted on his toothy smile.

    Odion is a study in loyalty. He sticks with his friends, and he is a man who does not forget a good deed that comes his way. He has a serenity of vision to life, and looks at people from the viewpoint of cooperation.

    He does not like soccer. His favorite sport is boxing. I recall, too, his love of Phil Collins. The pugilist and Collins, a punch in the eye and song for the heart. I saw the symmetry in Odion’s soul, the pugilist for the foe, the song for the friend. You saw him more with Collins in those days than any conversational foray into Alli or Fraser. But the boxer was always lurking.

    Since our days in Concord, he has been a social centre of the OPEC group with such stalwarts as Kayode Komolafe (alias KK) and, of course, Bello. I also remember when I visited Nigeria from the United States and he put a car at my service throughout my stay and afforded many other acts of friendship I cannot ever repay.

    His show of loyalty should never be taken for granted. He was on the side of Governor Adams Oshiomhole under whom he served as information commissioner. I attended the swearing-in in Benin City, and at that moment, I could not but muse on how the trajectory of a man’s life can take unexpected turn. What if he did not offer his articles and Bello was a stiff who would not look at a star but stanch him in the bud?  In this life we have seen too many talents who never had opportunity, who had energies but fell into the wrong projects, who had opportunity but not the reward, who had promise without promises, who had plums without a job. As the Bible says, the race is not for the swift.

    But he had to leave that position because he was also his own man. He took it in his stride. Yet, he has outgrown the pain of that time and he is in good stead with the former governor.

    His grit came into play for me when he escaped the hands of assassins in Benin, and how he confronted the kingpin of bloodhounds in the city. He made headlines puncturing the ego of a man who many feared. He did not fall hostage to any fear but held the man to account.

    On a personal note, I have seen him break lances in my defence on a number of occasions, including my last encounter with a mass of unbridled political rabble who took a misunderstanding of my writing as license and war cry.

    Few who see him know little about his sense of humour. You only need to see him needle the great KK, or hang around Azu, or spar with Yomi Idowu. The thing about this is that Louis Odion is just turning 50, but all these men are over a decade older. Yet, he blends because his wisdom has outgrown the bones in his head.

    As he takes a turn to his fifth decade, Odion still abounds with the sparkle and elan of the boy I first met in the 1990’s, with all his optimism, brilliance and sap. Congratulations.

  • Electoral bulala

    Electoral bulala

    I should shed a tear for the goat. Its primal cry trembled as it flailed and failed to wriggle its dark hide from the grips of ebo men in Lagos. The goat did not know the BOS of Lagos, nor if Gbadebo has another name across the pond, nor whether a battle was afoot over who first set foot on Lagos soil. One thing, however, was certain: its blood would mingle with that soil in a finality of its oblivion. The sacrifice went viral.

    This is how the spiritual can mock the political in the Nigerian space. There was a herd of the white-clothed men, singing and chanting around some parts of town. The Oro cult was there for emphasis. It was a comic spectacle although they did not see themselves as a circus. What was happening was an existential struggle. It was not about a political party, or a religious faith. It was a race in a fighting stance.

    It would not have happened if one race did not boast that Lagos belonged to no one. The Igbo and some south-south persons have maintained that Lagos does not belong to the Yoruba. Some say it was a colonial port city, a white man’s beloved. The colonial master invited the others to the place they founded. This is unfortunate, and it is partly because we do not study history in our schools. They should have known that Yorubas have always been here.

    The issue was that the door was thrown open and allowed others to dinner and use of the bathroom. But what the Yorubas saw was the question in Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart – if a man defecates on your floor, what would you do? Of course, you would find a stick of terminator to go after the defecator.  That was what happened on Saturday. An electoral truncheon or bulala.

    Lagosians showed a virtue of democracy: it is not just about numbers, although it is. It is about sentiment above all else. Lagosians demonstrated the sentiment of ownership. Sociologists write about the ownership society, but they hardly refer to land and the power of the indigene. They speak about owning individual properties, careers, families and other destinies. But this version of ownership of the land is the root of all ownership, whether in a democracy or tyranny. Governor Ortom, a bumbling governor as regards development, exploited it to win elections because Buhari seemed to undermine Benue’s ownership impulse.

    But advanced democracies always play this game. In the United States, the citizens describe their society as a melting pot. In Canada, they call themselves a mosaic. Lagos wanted the American model not by example but by its own history. Lagos opened its arms and others have come to take it for granted. We saw it hit its dark chapter in the presidential polls when the APC presidential candidate lost to the Labour Party man. Rather than see it as a collective sigh for the republican spirit, an ethnic dimension took hold when brothers from the east started not only to gloat but beat their chests that they would take over the state house.

    They started even mocking the governor for attending churches, cooling his tongue with ice cream, et al, as though he had not been doing so in the past. They boasted about a candidate who wanted to upturn the way of the tribe by installing a rival monarch, undermine the indigene in the name of a cosmopolitan idea. He could not speak the language and he privileged the settler over the indigene.

    Of course, we cannot underplay the role of the church. They turned brother against brother in Yorubaland, but the followers did not understand their pecuniary motivations. One, they had status anxiety when the Corporate Affairs Department asked them to follow the rules of succession. Two, they had Jonathan-era nostalgia when the ex-president gave them an episcopal cover. Three, they saw a pr move to swell the ranks of followers.

    But what happened in Lagos last Saturday was to raise roots of origin over belief. For instance, where I voted in the presidential poll, APC had 37 votes and LP had 20. PDP had one vote. Last weekend, APC had 51 votes and LP had nine, PDP had none. I observed that those who voted Labour who were Yoruba changed camp. My voting area was outside my estate. There were two polling areas in the estate. The first one had 83 votes for APC and Labour had 23. Two weeks ago, LP had over 40 votes while APC had less than 60 votes. In the second place, the APC scored 96 votes but the din of celebration drowned the LP number. In the presidential poll, APC won by only four votes. This time, LP might have attracted less than ten votes.

    The voters started to dance and scream, “a ti dibo, a ti wole.” We have voted and we have won. They started saying “this is Yorubaland. You can’t come and take our land from us. God forbid.” A visceral exhalation. That is the depth of suspicion. There were instances of violence, snatching of ballot boxes and even bloodletting in Lagos. I condemn all. But the conduct was vastly peaceful, and it reflected a primordial tension between two tribes. The Igbo and Yoruba. And for the youth who know nothing of their past, they should learn that at one time, Igbos and Yorubas went to the market to buy machetes for war when the great Zik was accused of misappropriating the funds of NCNC. Rather than address the allegation, he said it was because he was an Igbo man. Dare Babarinsa misled readers when he normalised Rhodes-Vivour’s ambition as Lagos narrative, citing Zik’s bid to be premier of the West. He did not show that Awo rose to counter him partly because Zik saw it as an Igbo man taking over a Yoruba race, and hence he failed. In revenge, Zik did not rise above a petty temperament when he dislodged Eyo Ita from the East to pave way to become the premier of that region.

    Maybe to bring peace between them, Awo called Zik to coalesce their forces against NPC to be prime minister in the first republic so Awo could serve under him as finance minister. Zik preferred to be ceremonial president, sqafing tea and hosting heads of state and dinners instead of developing this country. He became a cipher under Tafawa Balewa. Why did he not trust Awo? After all, he would be the boss and could even fire the Ikenne man. He was more afraid of his own shadows.

    The tension has been here all along. The man who raked it up of late was Jonathan who worked with the eastern elite and guber candidate Jimi Agbaje, who promised to install an Igbo king. This undermined the efforts president-elect Asiwaju Bola Tinubu had made over the years to integrate the Igbos into the state affairs. Jonathan relocated to Lagos and made the CBN his farmstead.

    What democracy calls for is a cooperative spirit. When Obama ran for president, he ran as an American, not a black man. Hence, he won. The blacks voted as one bloc, and it riled the foul blood of the alt-right who threw up Trump as the hero on a white horse. We must be careful not to make this an ethnic city but one of ethics. It is not in the hands of the indigene to ensure peace, but those who come from outside.

    Whatever the celebration must be for the APC in Lagos, it should be seen as a warning, not ecstasy. The party will have to review its party mechanics and those who have fallen victim to what Francois Rene Chateaubriand says of the phases of a cause or institution: utility, privilege and abuse. Some partisans in the party are in that place between privilege and abuse. The party has to check this, but it needs to take a deeper look.

    It is a pity that many would have loved to vote for all the great things the BOS of Lagos, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, has accomplished. But it was reduced to an us-versus-them fireworks. However, his place in history is stout and unassailable.

  • What a cause

    What a cause

    I watched a few Yoruba youths last Saturday at the voting arena, and they were discussing the LP candidate. They were about half a dozen, and all but one of them were obidients. A young lady was Batified and she tried to show to the folks that the LP man instrumentalized the church to rally the young. The others denied. She held her own with facts and logic. One of them said he did not see him attend any churches. I engaged them for a few minutes and said, “Do you know that this same man invested the state funds in the family business?” They said there was nothing wrong with that. He has explained his role in public. I gave up on them. In this area, I knew I was sure My generation was better. We lashed out at Bakin Zuwo, then Kano governor, who kept government money in government house and so had license to spend it. This is a new Bakin Zuwo and the youths are applauding. O ma se o! I reflected that the Yoruba youth were not clever. The Igbo youths see the LP man’s project as their own and make the Yoruba youth believe it is for everyone. And the Yoruba youth fall for the cause. That is the curse.

  • Braimah at 60

    Braimah at 60

    Former classmate and one of the gems of this generation, Ehimare Braimah, turns 60 on Tuesday. The mathematics graduate had turned numbers the way he now turns words for pr and for marketing. Journalism he takes in his stride. He was the smallest boy in our class one in Government College Ughelli. He was, as our class master Asoro described him, a small boy who had the biggest grade. Happy birthday.

  • Either Gbadebo or Chinedu

    Either Gbadebo or Chinedu

    If a democrat, the fellow running for Lagos governor on LP ticket should act like one – in his tongue, in acts and genealogy. That is accounting.

    As the campaign runs its final course, he should tell us if his tongue is twisted. Let us know if he cannot speak the language, or if his accent casts doubt on his authenticity. Or is he afraid to utter the Yoruba Language? I have seen some of his Yoruba clips. In these days of deepfake, he may deny it. But let us have an authentic utterance from Gbadebo.

    He should tell us why he waltzed into a setting and basked into a zest of sing-song in non-Yoruba language. Yet he has failed so far to showcase any campaign event where they wafted the language of Kaaro ojire. If he does that now, though, it will fall flat as an anticlimax of afterthought. He never did the right thing at the right time when the rites of campaigns offered him the site. So, he will not have a chance to prove himself right.

    I will be upending his right to identify him by his name if I call him Chinedu for the reason that he does not address himself in public by that name. That name, though genuine, must be a valued identity of his. But he elects to go by the name of Gbadebo Rhodes-Vivour, and that is his own name by choice and birth. Is Chinedu a name by stealth, too? He used it in 2019. Why has he edited it now? Is it because he ran in a part of town where Chinedu inspired a war chant for his candidacy? Is it that he now is not proud of his mother’s heritage, or that he is too proud of it to smear it? Or is he being a Yoruba from the backdoor?

    A fiery tone crests the internet. How much of this is true? We have not seen any spirited rebuttal? Is it that his silence is consent or defiance, or even a puffy, sullen and voiceless insolence?

    Has he, in fact, privileged Chinedu over Gbadebo? Is he at one with the fact that Yoruba and Igbo are not at one over him in Lagos? Why does he not defuse the tension, and tell those who want to hoist anger against the host tribe that he comes in peace? Or is he one of those who believe that Lagos is no man’s land? Is he now at war with the people who share his first name? is Chinedu at war with Gbadebo? How is he allotting the armoury and army divisions over the division of the name? And is he partial to those who share his quiet or unobtrusive name? is Chinedu his stealth bomber? I should want Gbadebo and Chinedu to exchange roses, not thistles. Unless he concedes that he is under both powers. Is Gbadebo looking at Chinedu as a traitor, and vice versa? If true, why impose his inner storm on others?

    I saw the video of him walking into an event, and the song was not in proper English or pidgin English or Yoruba or Hausa, but in Igbo. Nothing wrong with that. Any candidate can do that. But he has to balance it with another flavour to reflect our ethnic diversity. I have not seen him in an exclusively Yoruba rally, or a foray into the hefty Hausa-Fulani parts of the town.

    He should have a conversation in Yoruba and make it plain that he speaks the language as fluently as anyone. If it is true that you cannot speak it so fluently, you can confess to that shortcoming and give a human explanation that it is not your fault. You can show us that it is because your mother did not teach you and she made it impossible by your upbringing. That can explain why you are so handicapped. They may however wonder how you would relate to the folks at Mushin or Epe or Ikorodu?

    If that is the case, then make the point that it is not important to know the language in order to govern, and that your English and Igbo are good enough for governance. The people will then ask  why you hid that inability until the issue bubbled into a frenzy.

    It would become hard, if not impossible though, for you to say you are competing with a person, like Babajide Sanwo-Olu (The BOS of Lagos), or even Jandor whose Lagos bona fides cannot be contested.

    The next step would have been for you to counsel the people of your mother’s heritage that this is not a campaign against your father’s heritage. You are yet to act like the governor who has called for calm and eschewed the rhetoric and fury around Lagos about one tribe seeking to unseat the other. You should have told the Chinedu of your soul that such stuff is not of a civilized lot. But Rhodes-Vivour has done no such thing.

    Rather, he has encouraged a malignancy in the form of a whispering campaign. But that was at the beginning. It no longer whispers but brawls on the street. It deafens with a register of words and phrases and even images that recall a time in history when this same city was overshadowed with the spectre of war and death. We cannot even forget, not long ago, when a royal caution about the Atlantic Ocean filled the city with portent and protests.

    Rhodes-Vivour has acted like one who wants to stalk a city in silence, like a predator on the sly. No one can blame him for who he loves to marry, who delivered him at birth, or a riven parenthood. But he has to account whether he exploits either or both to rip a community apart. It’s not whether someone split his blood ancestry. It is whether it can spill blood.

    His tweet about celebrating Biafra day also went viral. Did he do it? Few answers. He should confess and say whether he is an IPOB faithful. Or is it just another election slander? Some have said the LP’s presidential candidate picked him because of the same controversial credentials. Is that so? He has kept mum even when it concerns his mom.

    The people will have to compare him with the governor who has stirred the state in peace, handled the COVID-19 matter with great aplomb and statecraft, is giving us a train, has given us the biggest rice mill in the region, apart from an array of housing, healthcare facilities and infrastructure displays. Above all, he has been a carapace of harmony in a nation ravaged with fear and bandits.

    In his play of divided selves, The Tempest, Shakespeare asserts that, “the strongest oaths are straw to the fire in the blood.” Which of the oaths is in the bonfire? Chinedu or Gbadebo?

    The first job of a candidate is to account for his past and present. The LP candidate has done neither. He wants to bend the present to worship his past.

    Rebels of democracy

    Can we ponder the paradox that the PDP and LP are calling Buhari, their favorite anti-democrat, to do a Machiavellian thing for them: annul the presidential polls? Now, they want to upturn democracy and are calling for the former soldier’s help. The same elements atop PDP and LP were spectators at best and collaborators during the topsy-turvy days of June 12. They morphed into partisans of Abacha’s party before the tyrant expired. Hence, they coalesced to form the PDP. Once annul, always annul.

    The man who led and gave his treasure and limbs to restore June 12 and democracy was Bola Tinubu, now president-elect. This is not the only irony. When the certificates of return were handed out last week, they did not say it was rigged. But it was the same thumbs, polling units, flesh and blood, Nigerians, BVAS, the same time that they voted for Tinubu and the lawmakers. Flashing a grin, the LP man had a photo-op with Ireti Kingibe with her certificate. His over 60 percent showing in Abuja could not be phony. These rebels of democracy have not called for those annulments. One annulment is better than another? They know how to make their own rules and ruse. When it works for them, it is the rule. When they fail, it is a ruse.

    Obama and southeast vote

    Some commentators are justifying the Southeast bloc vote for the LP man. It should not merit  my  response if they did not call in Obama’s deluge of black votes. This is a misguided reading of history. The blacks supported him because of centuries-old legacy of slavery, and he was able to ignite a nation, whites especially, full of blood guilt. Nigeria has no such guilt with the east. Hence IPOB sentiment has not transcended the east. I cannot see how we can justify a bloc vote and call for national unity in the same breath when other regions, including where the LP man won outside the southeast like Nasarawa, reflected a diversity of enthusiasm. The LP man garnered votes there because of the conspiracy of the church, but his first impulse of support came from the IPOB group who switched loyalty once the LP candidacy took off. The logic that other Igbos have run and did not get such following is a poor way to justify bigotry. Rather, it unveiled the maelstrom of hate of the moment. In Obama’s time, it showed a nation coming to terms with it’s malevolence. Even at that, the whites reacted with the Rise of Trump and the alt-Right. There are always consequences for banding together.

    If Obama reflected the American zeitgeist, the LP man jolted a religious movement with a dangerous portent. It mirrors a faith graying at the temple.

  • A man of faith

    A man of faith

    What Asiwaju Bola Tinubu – the president-elect – just pulled off is a miracle but the merchants of miracles in our midst are not shouting hallelujah. They are still querulous. Rather than see a divine halo in the man’s march to his hallowed dream, they were trying to choreograph the divine poise.

    They did not see his seesaw of obstacles and how he scaled one after the other. And, also, how gifts fell on his lap. First, it was in his party, the APC. Once the 2019 polls were over, some elements in Aso Rock as well as opponents in the party ganged up. First step, sack Adams Oshiomhole as chairman. He was seen as Asiwaju Tinubu’s man in the party’s inner sanctum. They did, and then one of the coupists, Akpan Udo-Edehe, announced that they wanted a consensus candidate. In other words, a not-Tinubu as flagbearer for president. It was even decreed that no court suit should ensue. Udo-Edehe limped in his run for APC ticket in Akwa Ibom. He sulked into NNPP.

    That was not enough for self-confidence.  All eyes focused on the primaries. First, they advanced the idea of an open one. Then they balked. Tinubu had a way with the crowds. The sweepstakes may creep out of their hands into the Jagaban’s web. After all, he was the chief proponent of open primaries. So, let’s make it delegate-driven. It buzzed until they saw again trap falls of disaster. The only feline path to tear him apart was to get the president to appoint a successor in the mould of how Abdullahi Adamu emerged as party chairman. It did not happen from Buhari’s end.

    Then, they came with a magic. They wanted a narrow count that disenfranchised lawmakers and many party leaders. Their frustration was that a primary had to happen. Before that, they orchestrated a machine of lies. He did not go to Chicago.  A media outfit called Chicago State University to wrest a denial. Rather the school said he was not just a student but a distinguished one. They brought drug hobgoblin even after a U.S. government’s denial. They said he was not fit enough. He beat all contestants hopping from state to state. He even beat his chest over his peripatetic prowess when he met Niger State delegates. His opponents were waiting for him to faint and fly out in a medical craft. Nature failed their malice.

    On primary day, some party men rallied behind Senate president as the anointed pick. But it floundered. In fact, some Villa elements wanted Buhari to change his mind at the last moment. One of them asked the service chiefs to see Buhari for a last-minute order. One of the chiefs insisted the president already gave them a go-ahead to conduct a fair primary. But a cabal insider insisted all three should see him. They did. They met an irritated boss who asked them to proceed to the stadium to conduct a fair poll.

    He did not only win but handily, flummoxing all those who predicted his Nunc dimittis. He had before then enriched our political language with Emilokan. Some called it outburst. But it busted the cabal. As the campaign wore on, he became a source of immense derision. They mocked his body fluid, his height, his walk, his sitting, his standing, his words, his accent, his language, his faith, his paternity and maternity, his roots. But they were mocking his maker. And God said, God is mocked. If he had lost, a newspaper was waiting to appropriate O lule for him. But they wouldn’t employ it for their dazed candidate.

    Weeks to the polls, they saw an inevitability, and they devised a new obstacle. Fuel and cash. They would blame his party for putting Nigerians through the crucible. Tinubu will pay for them. The elements in the villa were accused but they had no shame. They persisted. Peter Obi and Atiku Abubakar loved the cynical play because they expected the scarcity to knock out the Jagaban. We experienced in Tinubu on this matter what political scientists call loyal opposition, when he spoke under warrior Lisabi’s shadow in Abeokuta about those who wanted him to fail. El Rufai elaborated later.

    But in the divine strain must be seen a few factors. One, the APC northern governors, who were this essayist’s personal pick for persons of the year in 2022, insisted the next president must come from the south. Two, Obi came in as a gift by wiping out Atiku’s southern entitlements in Lagos, Southeast and south-south. Three, Wike and the G-5 factor. The forces were aligning. For the LP man even the APC did not hide the permutation that he was a gift for Tinubu. Yet, PDP and Labour Party in their mutual obstinacy united for Tinubu.  Kwankwaso, the Kano landlord, also left PDP. They broke into three. How could pieces make mincemeat of a whole? The APC left them alone according to the words of Napoleon: “Never interrupt your enemies when they are making a mistake.”

    The Obidient movement was like Asahel in the scripture who, like Fela’s joro jaro joro, ran but looked neither left nor right with no weapon and plunged straight into a sword. It is a movement without eyes or ears but legs of a flailing antelope. Like flies following the sweet scent of death in a corpse, they buzzed into their own electoral oblivion.

    Buoyed by false prophets and ethnic bigotry, it believed it could force a victory on a diverse nation. They forget that southwest and North coalition gave Buhari his victory. They didn’t have that heft. Christians and southeast alone is a narrow coalition. If the Atiku votes up north of Muslims with the southwest were in contention with the Obidients, a shellacking would have drowned Labour. Having shaved Atiku in the southeast and southsouth, Atiku relied only on the north for big numbers. Obi’s cynical move gave us no ideology. If it did, it romped in a narrow radius.

    The United States has a religious and white coalition. But it falls short. They align with business with the concept of low taxes and small government. Nixon enunciated the Christian and cultural nexus into what he called the southern strategy. It is exhibited in the G’s: God, gays and guns.

    The prophets hoodwinked their followers, acting like God’s spokesmen. I asked on TVC Breakfast Show, if that were the case, what happened with Father Hyacinth Alia of Benue State who supported APC and triumphed for Tinubu? Did it mean the holy spirit was at war with itself? God forbid. As Jeremiah wrote, they were speaking from their imaginations. He said, “A wonderful and terrible thing is committed in the land. The prophets prophesy falsely and the priests bear rule by their means. And my people love to have it so.”

    Men like that are a disgrace to the word of God. They are spiritual hustlers who want to fill their halls and build gigantic buildings as though the truth of God relies on marble palaces made with hands. Just as we no longer rely on physical circumcision but the foreskin of the heart, the love of God is in the heart, not in the ululations of false prophets. Their entrance does not bring light, but lights-out. For all who prophesied, Paul said, “though there be prophecies, they shall fail.” And of course, their tongues shall cease.

    The Bible says let the wheat and tares dwell together, not duel together. When the polls results started trickling in, the Obidients were exulting because they were cherry-picking areas where they were doing well. The polls were credible then. They forgot the big picture. They were happy to hear that Lagos fell, that a sort of partial domino fall was dawning: Buhari lost Katsina, Ayade lost in Cross River, Lalong in Plateau, Adamu in Nasarawa, El Rufai in Kaduna, et al. Translation: a credible proceeding. Twenty governors lost their states. But when Obidients lost the full count, they say no sir, it was rigged. Of course, it was no perfect poll. A man like hoary Obasanjo was sulking like an anarchist. The problem with the Obidients is that where they lost, they didn’t lose. Where they won, they didn’t win enough. Maybe they want to win 150 percent of southeastern states.

    As for some of my eastern brethren, they thought it was all right that a Tinubu had zero percent in one state and one percent in two states there. They have to understand that democracy is about building bridges and not erecting bubbles of bluster.

    It is the sort of puffy air they are bringing to Lagos. A territorial braggadocio does not make peace in another person’s patrimony. Many of them work here in peace, but a swagger of proprietary assertion by a good number of them does not make for peace.

    The LP man was an interesting candidate. He was a man who did not rely on his track record or vision. His followers did not watch him except his old wristwatch. When he lied, it was an act of human grace. When Tinubu erred, it was a big, unforgivable gaffe. His statistical illusions made the LP candidate a wizard. All those who hated Tinubu channeled their anger for the LP man. He did not have to be a saint. They canonised him and gave him the holy scent, including our pastors who loved the holy spirit so much that they did not see what was coming.

    Some writers and commentators went abroad to make claims for which they have no evidence. One of them was writer Chimamanda Adichie who wrote a New York Times piece out of rage rather than method. She turned anecdotes into a pattern, history into tendentious material, bigotry into grace. She probably thought she was writing a novel. But facts, even when fictionalized, have their place. She is often quick to toady up to the west for affirmation. She is entitled to her servitude, but she should not replace research with sentiment. As in her New York Times effusions. She needed to know that we had only a fraction of the polling stations with problems. And every polling station had result sheets signed by party agents at various levels. We need to ascertain whether some people are wailing because they did not have the chance to hack the server. Writing as though her Half of A Yellow Sun, she whipped up a spectre of refugees going to America. No bloodshed here, please.

    The polls may not be perfect; hence the law speaks of substantial compliance, a point the Nigerian Bar Association President noted in his assessment. At long last, we shall accept that elections, like this one, tumble social hierarchies by affirming the royalty of the citizen. In the words of the boisterous American statesman Huey Long, “every man a king but no one wears a crown.” The coronation belongs to the Nigerian people.

    When he said, emilokan, Tinubu turned out to be more prophetic than any prophet in the land. It was an act of faith as novelist Dostoyevsky wrote, “In a realist, faith does not spring from miracle but miracle out of faith.” Tinubu was the man of faith.

  • A plea for peace

    A plea for peace

    It’s all about the wait. It’s not just in the morning, when you deny sleep and turn voting into a missionary assignment. It is even before then, during the barnstorming, the frenzy of travels and dewy eyes of long meetings, the miscues of strategy, the slips and triumphs of rhetoric. The map becomes at once a sort of toy to hug and puzzle to study.

    It is about days to the polls, and the self-doubts and hope. Have I done enough, spoken to the right person? Shall I return to that venue, recalibrate that tactic? It’s about the moment at the poll, where the voter becomes instant fortune teller, reading the minds of the others and wondering, “are they going to vote my candidate?” That fellow with a knotted brow, he looks a little peevish. He can’t vote for my candidate. May his finger print ink over the line. If my candidate loses, how many will taunt me? Do I need a doctor, a medication, a prophylactic against a muscle spasm, a sudden stumble and fall. If he wins, what song will I invoke to jangle their ears who mocked me all year?

    After the vote, we muse over the polling officers as they obliterate ballot papers from errant finger prints. That belongs to that fellow with a cloudy eye. But when the counting begins, you cannot sit and when you stand, you forget when you are sitting again. Whether your candidate wins or loses at your polling area, you are now concerned with elsewhere, like an addict who didn’t get enough drag at that cigar. What is happening in the east, in the recesses of Jigawa, in Wike’s lair? You go to the social media and your WhatsApp plops with good news and then reality shows your guys cherrypicked the results. You still don’t know. You become a muscle of misery. You want to know, win or lose. “Suspense,” wrote poet Robert Burns, “is worse than disappointment.”

    But what the election season has taught us this time may lead to a triumph of commonsense. That must be the goal of the next president. But it was a big boil of lies and divide. We see that religion took a position it should never take in polls. We blame the churches. Because a candidate picks another, we turn the decision into a war of the faiths. We simplify the person. He is a Muslim or he is Christian. He has no other identity. The church sees to that. So when Asiwaju is defined as a Muslim who picks Kashim Shettima, who is a Muslim, we make the man look as though that is all that resides in his soul. And that is because that is what resides in the souls of the bishops and other clerics who tar them to tarnish their names. When Jesus asks his disciples, “who do people say the Son of Man is? They reel out a slew of identities. He is John the Baptist. He is Jeremiah. He is one of the prophets. But they have no patience with his own self-identity, until Peter says it.

    So, no pastor, who calls himself a man of the discerning spirit, consulted the holy ghost to tell them. He must be a demon so long as he is no Christian. Yet, before Tinubu became a candidate, we knew a lot of identities: a son of a trader, an accountant, a Mobil treasurer, a democracy fighter, a one-time American habitue, a governor, initiator of a political movement with the APC, et al. They look at him, and they decide on one story, an arbitrary pigeon-holing. They do same to Shettima, but the man is a former banker who enjoyed triple promotion, a governor, a hero in the fight against Boko Haram, a senator. All they see is his sojourns in a mosque.

    No one has asked either what makes them tick, what powers their fancies. “I am part of all that I have met,” wrote poet Alfred Lord Tennyson. But the church turned the campaigns to Nigeria’s version of the Crusades, a series of blood-churning conflicts that convulsed Europe and immortalized names like Saladin and Peter the Hermit. Here they see it as a war of Christ against Mohammed on a partisan turf, as though that has ever changed the lives of the fellow citizens. They mistake Nigeria for the kingdom of God even though Jesus himself warned that “my kingdom is not of this world. If my kingdom were of this world, then will my servants fight.”

    Yet these unassigned bishops and priests are conjuring a battlefield, stoking holy ghost fires, calling angels in heaven and demons from nether regions to duel where God has not blown a whistle. In the process, they abandon love and call fellow humans mad, a word that does not belong in the life of  a Christian tongue. The same cleric says members of that party also are members in the church. He must be breeding mad people under God? Making asylum with the word?

    The church in the process also worked hate among two major ethnic groups in the south, Yoruba and Igbo. In Lagos, it became a cauldron of distemper among the tribes. One hiding under a party and the other under the opposite name, it became a contest of supremacy that has nothing to do with whose ideas are superior. No grist for debate, no drill of ideas. A grudge match.

    Our democracy should not be about rage, but stating the case, an assembly of viewpoints and the winnowing of the great and the willowing of the stains. What we need now, as we await results  is a plea for peace.

    The BVAS is all we have. The technology has for most part delivered. Some of us had anticipated the repeat of the Osun story, where it failed to reconcile platforms. It seems INEC has learned and we can earn our democratic dividends in peace.

    All those who dispute can do the right thing: Go to court. You don’t need to give the other fellow an uppercut.

  • Again, a Lagos original

    Again, a Lagos original

    He is rich. He is powerful. He has influence. He has changed lives. He transformed a city. Made men and women. Yet he attracts quite a few adversaries. The scriptures say when Isaac roared into success, the Philistines envied him.

    They deny him the right to be human. When he is sick, some wish him dead or eternally crippled. When he is not seen, some conjure his ghost as a dead soul. When he reappears, they won’t even credit him as a revenant, a man who came back from the dead. Rather, they wait for another date with the grave – in their imagination. Through the primaries, he gulped up mileage against his opponents’ little acreage. In the elections season, he bounded from huge crowd to huge crowd with breathtaking regularity. His opponents, including the “youth” among them, waited to take a breath and measure the breadth before the next flight.

    When he makes a mistake, they raise the stakes of sin and he becomes Satan. When he does a saintly thing, they turn either blind or amnesiac.  When they are around him, they flatter and lick his boots. A minute after they leave his ken, they snarl and huff.

    His traducers are like the characters in the proverb that says, “Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves because you are a reflection of what they want to be.”

    Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu knows this. Hence, he has never had an enemy in politics. Rather he has rivals. He can joust, even if he may not always be just. He has had many, some over money charges, often on matters where he is just. Others over drug charges where they thrash about like a ram even though he was long ago declared sin-free by the number one nation in the world in the rule of law: The United States.

    But he has never maligned nor spat malice. Hence, when some of his associates left, he often welcomed them back and elevated them, causing those who are at home to feel left behind. Before him, Jesus had dispensed the parable of the prodigal son who overtook the homeboy. Tinubu has never abandoned a prodigal. He understands the human conscience, the tendency to fall and faint, and he is ready to embrace and give an opportunity for rebirth. I have seen a few bow before him for pardon in private after shooting him with bows and arrows in the public square.

    Few in politics have this gift. They know it is one of his staying privileges and virtues. They hate him and try to tell a story of original lies about this Nigerian original.

    They won’t tell the story that he was the one who fought for this democracy when they were galivanting with soldiers in the military era, when June 12 fumed. They hid in shadows and fear. They say he is rich, so he must be a crook. Yet he fought in the trenches home and abroad, sacrificing his personal treasures for some of those who now tar him with lies. I saw an article in ThisDay on Sunday refer to an episode when Nobel laureate Wole Soyinka narrated how Tinubu begged the bard, because of his global credibility, to sign a paper for him to import Taiwan rice to fund the struggle. The gifted writer obliged. He knew the value of the fruits to dethrone the dark-goggled brute in Aso Rock, and the soldiers paid him back in ruthless kind chasing after him in western countries. They forget he was rich before he mounted the governor perch.

    It will make sense for them to know his many firsts in the republic, some in Nigerian history. They forget that the idea of revolutionizing the electric power architecture, and challenging the monolithic hold of PHCN began under Tinubu when he rattled OBJ as president to free us from the stranglehold of ‘NEPA’ monopoly. It began with Enron, and it has set the dialogue in motion to challenge the constitution.

    They forget he was the John the Baptist of financial engineering. Lagos could not pay its workers because of gnomes on the payroll. He combed out the lies in the accounts like lice in infected hair. He saved the purse. From less than a billion Naira in internally generated revenue, it was humming in the region of N9 billion a month. Today it is about N60 billion. Some say he merely unearthed what was there. I reply, when Jesus pointed the fish area of the river to his followers, was that not genius? Why are others not doing so. Some states earn in one year what Lagos swallows in a month.

    When other  governors said they were sending their men to learn from the Lagos experiment in making money, they were giving a tribute to the genius that made it happen. They hate to go like mendicants to Abuja for bailouts. They want to be like Lagos. Yet, some of them curse their source of blessing.

    His detractors balk at his wealth. They forget that he is often called Robin Hood, the man who takes from the rich and gives to the poor. It derives from his worldview not only as a liberal spender but his background among the poor in Lagos. Segun Ayobolu reminded us in his column of the same attacks on Awo over Maroko lands. The great Nigerian was called a thief. Awo said: “In Nigeria, if a poor man is fighting for the poor, they will claim he is only jealous of the rich and if a rich man is fighting for the poor, they will ask him to first of all go and commit economic suicide and join the poor before he can pursue their cause.” Is that why Jesus said the poor will always be with us?

    This campaign has exposed the hypocrisy of many. When you accuse their candidates of their financial shenanigans, like the one who sold off our properties for nothing as vice president and the one who invested his state money in his family business, they say it is normal. All these with evidence. But when it comes to Tinubu, they say it is different even when they have no proof.

    Some have asserted that financial engineering was Asiwaju’s capital legacy as governor. They may be right. The premise is that the flow of funds engendered the transformational projects in the state. Money is also the mother’s milk of development. But that is only one perspective. He has a background in finance, and as internal auditor in Mobil, he overhauled the purse of the oil mogul. For appreciation, they made him in charge of finances, and he became treasurer.

    I would say his best gift is his imagination. The story of power is one. What of security? While the rest of the nation crawls in fear today, Lagos is a strong tower. Many run there and are safe. He signposted an answer with a security trust fund that secured an architecture for peace. That arrangement has only grown stronger from one successor to another and aped, if imperfectly, in Abuja. This is no great hour in the nation’s security. But Lagos remains a city on the hill.

    Two other points. One, lekki. Jakande pave a road there. Tinubu launched a city – the estates, the free trade zone, the Lekki port and airport, the flyovers, the refinery, et al. As they say of Erasmus and Martin Luther, Jakande laid the egg, Tinubu preserved and hatched out a big bird, but it was not of the plumage Jakande envisioned. Two, Bar Beach. Soludo complained gullies have taken up 40 percent of Anambra like moths. Obi was there when it was going on. He claimed to have spent billions there in budgets. No vision, no action. Forget where the money went. In Lagos, Ikoyi and Victoria Island may have submerged when OBJ’s men were spending N4 billion – like 20 billion today – every year on sand to save water encroachment. It did not work. Tinubu came with a new idea: turn it into a city. Here we are. Eko Atlantic generates more money a month than some states.

    Some say his great gift was the fight for federalist causes for which he used now vice president Yemi Osinbajo to head a team to fight a number of causes, including the allocation of revenues for all states in the nation. Lagos has followed that step, especially when a lawyer, now Trojan of works, Babatunde Raji

    Fashola (SAN), succeeded him. The battle is still on the burner. The BOS of Lagos Babajide Sanwo-Olu and the uproarious Nyesom Wike took on the tax matter last year. We can see his legacy now on the naira crisis as states on their own are taking on Buhari for flouting the Supreme Order and making himself a dictator in a democracy. Forget the facile ululation of intellectual fraudsters like one Chidi Odinkalu and J.B. Daudu, who clutched at straws as salesmen to defend their principals, who are, like Nero, fiddling why Nigerians burn with hunger, and groan. Anyway, playwright Arthur Miller announced the death of salesmen long ago.

    On social issues, he, a Muslim, gave public schools back to the missions. A visionary step that will continue to shield Lagos from the maelstrom of bigotry that obsesses other parts of the country. This essayist reminded the nation that Tinubu, a Muslim, unfurled the Christian tradition of new year service every January in Lagos. In an age when politicians fall into a straitjacket of zealotry, Tinubu is wearing a garment of peace. Those thumping bishops and pastors who now cavil at him once nodded to the same innovation before they stopped hearing the whisper of the holy ghost.

    Others say his best quality is as a leader of leaders. He has given quite a few talents to the country, and I need no roll call here.

    Tinubu’s biography distinguishes between a leader and a manager. Some managers are great, but they can only accomplish set goals. A leader of this sort is a visionary, who turns ideas into a soup of charisma to stamp a profound, if revolutionary change on a generation. That was the difference between Awo and Akintola, between Mandela and Mbeki, Between Churchill and Macmillan, between Washington and Adams, etc. After Charles De Gaulle left office, one of his cabinet ministers said the “story of De Gaulle is in his legend.”

    Since he declared to run for president, Tinubu has been offering himself as a Lagos original. If no one can deny that Lagos is the best–run state in the nation by a mile, then, no one should look askance at an opportunity to rewrite Nigeria on a national scale. Tinubu arises today as David in Bible times arose to the low rung of the demographic of desire: “And everyone that was in distress, and everyone that was in debt, and everyone that was discontented, gathered unto him and he became a captain over them.” This is the closing argument. 

  • The salesmen

    The salesmen

    Wanderers shall never earn. They shift for profit in vain. No matter how shifty their logic, they shall not reap except the foul fruits of their labour. That is the conclusion one can draw from the new coalition between Aso Rock shadow men, LP Candidate Peter Obi and PDP’s Atiku Abubakar. They have shown where their moral mettle lies as Muhammadu Buhari instrumentalises currency policy to oppress the common folk. They have become adjectival warriors of doubtful pedigree as they say what Nigerians are suffering is “little” and “some” inconvenience. They do not the people, or they would side with the people in the face of tyranny. As Nobel Prize winner Elie Wiesel wrote, “the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference.” Their indifference, while cynical, is criminal.

    If these candidates are dead from the neck up as people riot on the streets, die and pine for food and medicine, their intellectual salesmen are now out and about. Their toga of lawyerly erudition cannot pass muster as logic but as superficial and stinking like a corpse half buried in a shallow grave.

    The first salesman is one Chidi Odinkalu who says Buhari did not breach the Supreme Court order by foreclosing the circulation of N500 and N1000 bank notes. According to his ethereal wisdom, currency “cannot be legislated or brought into existence by a court.”

    Deploying circuitous syntax and clutching at straws to wriggle out of his self-imposed maze of thought, he wrestles with the idea of status quo antebellum. Hear the young sage: “The question then becomes, what was the status quo antebellum that you are trying to preserve? And this is where the laziness of the judicial system as well as the limitations of law actually come into view, because status quo antebellum actually, was the Central Bank circular on exactly when this thing should stop. I suspect this is the advise (sic) the President got, he has not breached anything.”

    Why is Odinkalu quibbling over what status quo ante was when the court specifically said the three bills of N200, 500 and 1000 should circulate ahead of its substantive ruling. He uses the phrase “I suspect” more than once on his view to show he lacks conviction.

    Suddenly, he is now wiser than the judicial system, or shall I say intellectually stronger as he cavils at “the laziness of the judicial system.” He is like his new-fangled friend Buhari who is now bigger than the law of the land. Much ego for this season. Maybe they see themselves as elephants. Buhari sees himself an elephant above the law. Odinkalu sees himself as an elephant of the law. They are now making love. The cliché says when two elephants fight, the grass suffers. As Lee kuan Yew asserted, “When two elephants make love, the grass also suffers.” These are rogue elephants swooning together in a distorted halo of sweat, saliva and blood, while the people groan.

    When did the Supreme Court legislate about the currency? The matter was brought before them, and it acted according to the constitution by interpreting and giving an order. Is he saying we did not have the currency? Maybe he is in bed with the myth of money in circulation like Emefiele who says we have money in circulation but no one sees it. He circulates ghosts of currency but we are corporeal beings. We are no spirits. We deal in what we can see and touch. We are tactile but not facile. Nobody can say there is money and we cannot see it. Unless Odinkalu wants us to believe that only Buhari and Emefiele can see. We are now blind. According to Odinkalu’s wisdom and his uncles, we the people are living in the republic of novelist Jose Saramago in which the citizens are all blind as narrated in his masterwork, Blindness.

    He also takes exception to state governors taking the federal government to court on behalf of the people. Hear the wise fellow again: “I don’t think it is proper for state governors to go around, issue orders countermanding a president on exactly the thing that a central government cannot negotiate – money and currency.” Then he adds, for emphasis: “what the governors are doing in this matter, verges on treason.” Forget his arbitrary use of comas, his argument is like thinker in a coma. Of course, he is entitled to his own coma.

    He calls himself a human rights lawyer and had the great misfortune to head a human rights agency, yet an issue that affects the majority of the people’s welfare and right to exist comes up and he bands together with a despot.

    This same fellow who has taken exception to Buhari on his issues about human rights is now a strange bedfellow because his presidential candidate is opportunistically paralysed on the lips. He and his candidate have acquired an ominous serenity as people die and rage on the streets. He would even deny governors their rights in a federal system. It is more than state’s rights. It is about the right to life. The right to earn a living. The right to survive. It trumps any other right. Rights are not created equal. The president has no right to deny anyone of their right to life.

     Lawyers like him need to go back to school and read their jurisprudence books like Law’s Empire by Ronald Dworkin and also study the roots of the African empathy that enriches our laws.

    Laws are made for men and not men for the law. This is not a matter of law alone. It is a matter of human existence. We have to have human beings before we can have laws. We have to have human beings before we have a currency.

    So, even as a matter of law, he errs. The right to life is the first principle of law. We cannot have security if all are dead. That is the first principle that this so-called human rights lawyer has turned a blind eye to for partisan gratification.

    Again, the governors have a right to defend those who voted for them. That is why they are governors. They did not take laws into their hands. Rather, they went to court, and have challenged.

    Odinkalu has suddenly become a feudalist. He says “You cannot be telling a president to yield up his authority over currency systems, that is not negotiable.”

    If anyone has committed treason here, it is not the governors. It is his logic that bustles with rebellion against the law. Odinkalu should remove his blinkers before he writes because he and his candidate come from the same heath and bedchamber.

    The other fellow is J.B. Dauda, a former president of the Nigerian Bar Association, who justifies the action of the president to defy the law. He argues that each arm of the law can act according to its own light. In order words, he is savaging the Supreme Court for vanity or waste of judicial calories. He asserts: “One arm of government cannot therefore prevent another arm from performing it’s sacred constitutional functions.”

    He, a puny mind, is trying to wage war against the tested principle of separation of powers. He is trying to say it is more separate that it is. He wants to make it less sacred by making it more separate. The French thinker Montesquieu gifted us the idea, and it has worked to restrain not only lawmakers but also men with despotic tendency. De Gaulle wanted to bring his military temperament to supersede the society but the law always had its way. He became an instrument in birthing its Fifth Republic.

    Dauda is a dubious salesman who cannot sell a sentence from the brain of the French philosopher or else he will get an intellectual life sentence. The concept of separation of power was designed to stop exactly what Buhari has done: To ensure that no president or chief executive acts above the law. By defying the Supreme Court, he thinks he can elevate himself above the law. He cannot be the Superman of this democracy in the lights of the German philosopher, Fredrick Nietzsche. Or the Napoleon that Dostoyevsky muses on in Crime and Punishment. As John Adams wrote: “Power must never be trusted without a check.” Individuals can exercise overreach. Maybe he needs to go back to Nigerian history and look at how Oyo Empire fell and plunged Yorubaland into a long fratricidal bloodbath. It was because the king wanted to defy the lawmakers, the Oyo Mesi, and the system crawled into a self-reckoning of blood and tears and the dislocation of a whole race. Just one man’s hubris or ambition. Hence in the Federalist Papers, James Madison wrote: “Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.”
    Dauda was looking for a law to justify a president. Rather, he found tyranny.

    It is because of men like Odinkalu and Dauda that, in seeking a society based on the rule of law, we must be wary of falling captive to a rule of lawyers.

  • Public enemies

    Public enemies

    In the course of this republic, we have fallen under spells of catch phrases, some of them benign, some meretricious and others ominous.  But always ferociously funny. They have all entertained, enthralled and terrified. Whether it was a doctrine of necessity, or stomach infrastructure, dibo ko sebe (vote and make a pot of soup), naka sai naka (Your own is your own) or Olule, or even emilokan, the political facility of the Nigerian political society to conjure a term seems infinite.

    No one, however, has had such a long shelf life as the word cabal. It is not only enduring here, but around the world, except that they do not wield that phrase from phase to phase. Maybe because those societies, especially in the west, do not calculate with the same level of feline cunning and ferocity as our own cabals do or are imputed to perform.

    In western political experience, they sometimes use a less sultry word. During the presidency of Abraham Lincoln, they called the men around the 16th American president the Trust, especially when they wrote an agreement ahead of the elections to cooperate if they lost the next elections so that the civil war plan would not be compromised. That was a good cabal. These days, Republicans have coined a term, the deep state.

    We do not use the term without temerity or with uproars of joy. It reels in a furtive,  serpentine tunnels. You never utter hello and cabal in the same sentence, except for mordant irony. The word had its origin in arcane Jewish text and it was called Qaballah. Referring to it in her mammoth Nobel Prize-winning novel titled: the Books of Jabob, Olga Tokarczuk paints how its invocation fuels a religious riot and pogrom in the 18th century. But cabal came into limelight, or shall I say lamelight, when five men in the age of the English King Richard II worked out the Treaty of Dover between England and France, and the first letters of the five men’s names spelled CABAL. Their act and combined initials initiated a sacred stain. They profaned the word.

    If anything, it shows that cabals tend not to have respect for what is sacred even if that sacred goal is to help humanity. This essay does not always embrace mystics. For instance, Achebe, in his Arrow of God, undermined the gods by privileging material evidence over received opinion. In his review, Soyinka, a man who loved the mystical, lamented Arrow of God’s “dogged secularization of the profoundly mystical.” I thought Soyinka was warm there, if we took away his lament. In his latest novel, Soyinka makes mincemeat of the mystical shysters.

    In democracy, though, nothing is more sacred than the popular will, celebrated sometimes to subversion by philosophers like Rousseau and Disraeli. Rousseau’s sanctified bloodshed and tyranny in the French Revolution, and Disraeli’s a cavernous class divide in Britain.  Nonetheless, they all applauded the people while the people had no say in the matter.

    That is what we are seeing with the shadowy cabal in Nigeria. In what this essayist termed Emilokan and Emilokan 2, I hinted at this cabal before the Kaduna State Governor Nasir El Rufai elucidated. While many are crediting Asiwaju for lifting the veil, the credit goes to Aisha Buhari, who had yelled years ago over some baboons who were “chopping” after the monkeys had perspired. Not her words.

    The posse pussyfooting in the dark alleys of Aso Rock is gradually being unveiled. A certain young man said he is not one of them. But we know one of them now. He is the justice minister and attorney general Abubakar Malami. He will not admit it. But we know them by their deed. While many poor cannot feed because they cannot spend the money they earned, the same man went to court to ask for the same money to be kept out of the hands of the common people. That is a violation of the common touch. Gods are not sacred in a democracy, unless through the people’s voices. As they say, the voice of the people is the voice of God. Even when the people make mistakes, God lets it happen to teach the people a lesson, if they want to learn. After the founding fathers finished their meeting to make the United States constitution, the media asked Benjamin Franklin what they produced. “A constitution,” he said, “if you can keep it.” No democracy is given.

    But it is not in any man’s place to appropriate the power of God and foist policies on the people. That makes Malami what we might call a public enemy. He is the only one who has exercised the effrontery to negate a popular will.

    Jesus said when he was hungry, they gave him food. When he was naked, they clothed him. When without a shelter, they built one. Jesus’ end-time prophecy of deprivation and succour does not apply to men like Malami. He is the one who did not provide. Jesus said if you did that good to any of the poor, you did it to him. Not a Malami. Men like him remind us why we have never had a good attorney general since the dawn of this republic.

    The Supreme Court smoked Malami out of the hole like a rabbit in a village square. He did not want to reveal himself. But he did it with the bravado of guilt. He exercised the courage of his own infamy. He freed himself from hypocrisy, in the mould of Satan in John Milton’s Paradise Lost who proclaimed, “All good to me is lost.” Yet, when the APC had its rally in Kebbi, he was the last person anyone would expect to materialise. Indeed, he peacocked in the VIP roll call before a sea of human faces hailing the man he is trying to scuttle.

    Maybe he does not count himself a public enemy. The concept was complicated in a famous play by Ibsen, Public Enemy. It is titled in irony. The man regarded in that play as enemy of the people is actually the one who pits himself against a conspiring, thieving elite who want to profit from the people’s misery.

    But if Malami is a public enemy, he is not alone. The LP presidential candidate and his PDP co-traveler engaged in adjectival conspiracy by saying that what Nigerians were suffering is ‘some’ and ‘little’ inconvenience, respectively. Inconvenience is not when I am hungry or have no shelter or death stalks me in the hospital. That is agony. Inconvenience is when I have to park my car and walk over three houses instead of one to my destination. This suffering is not about destination, but destiny. Both men either do not understand simple English or they are playing partisan mischief from interiors of tendentious tyranny at the expense of the people whose votes they seek.

    The other enemies are a group of faceless political parties who threatened to boycott the election if Buhari reversed the naira policy. They are jobbers who become parties because they want to be part of the party. It was their time to deal. No one will miss them if they boycott. No one even knows them. Ebenezer Obey sang, “Oja Oyingbo ko mo p’enikan owa o – Oyingbo market does not notice anyone’s absence. They should exercise a fundamental right: the right to lose.

    Of course, the big enemy is Mefi himself, the CBN chief. He is a man of numbers without a soul. But for most part, he is a marionette. He is obeying the strings from the shadows. The nebulous posse like Malami and Co  are pulling the strings and he is obliging like a puny puppet. I pity him. He is reincarnation of June 12 Arthur Nzeribe, except that Arthur had more cunning, and was able to play his masters as much as they played him. Mefi’s is naïve servitude.

    Another enemy is closer home. I refer to media gatekeepers who cast headlines and shape stories to play down the suffering of the people because of their contrarian spirit against one man. As I said on TVC Breakfast show last week, it will be interesting how history will tell the story of the role of the media in this political season.

    When the late Yar’adua’s health plunged the country in a constitutional turmoil, someone we know asked what did Yar’adua do to his wife that she would not forgive him but allowed him to go through all that ignominy. By the same token, I wonder whatever did Buhari do to this posse of Aso Rock shadow men that they cannot forgive him and are ready to risk some of his solid legacies because of the hatred of one man. This was the man they loved when they wanted power. They now suffer from what Tacitus calls the fear of gratitude. Because they fear one man, the world must suffer. They are no different from Putin who wakes up with a hyena’s happy sneer at the depredation of Ukraine because of his fantasies of ego.

    They have tried a number of times. First, they dissolved the APC hierarchy and started what Akpan Udo-Edehe called the search for a consensus candidate. The Akwa Ibom man did not even survive it or the APC. Then they changed the primary rule from open to delegate vote. That also fell into the ditch. They moved on to choreograph the primary for an anointed man. That also failed.

    What kind of massage are they applying to the President’s soul that they want to hurt him? I recall V.S. Naipaul’s comic caper, The Mystic Masseur, about a fellow who managed to impress the people he healed all kinds of diseases as a masseur. Or the Leader who is massaged by a woman sent by a group known as Little People in Japanese author Hakuri Murakami’s tome titled 1Q84. It does not end well with the mystical recluse.

    Buhari does not deserve his cabal. Neither do Nigerians.