The Nation Newspaper

Category: Columnists

Okon is Commander in Chef

As tragedy blends fluidly and fluently with comedy in our daily existence, it is becoming impossible to separate the comic from the tragic. The old sub-genre of tragi-comedy does not quite capture the stirring monstrosity of our reality in contemporary Nigeria in all its brilliant chiaroscuro. Darkness is clearly visible. Welcome to Kafka’s Penal Colony. Welcome to sub-Saharan cinematography and the cabinet of Dr Caligari. Welcome to comi-tragedy.

Imagine that the casualties from Monday’s Mubi massacre probably surpass the figures from one month of mayhem in Mogadishu even at the height of war and lunacy in that strife-torn country. Yet it is Somalia that we blithely refer to as a failed state. When shall we learn to call a spade a spade? Or the opium is just a flower?

Snooper was deep in rumination about these tragic fatalities and the infelicitous gaffes and goofs they elicit from officialdom when he almost collided with a truly outlandish figure in the kitchen. It was the impossible Okon dressed in a crude travesty of the full ceremonial uniform of a Commander in Chief complete with silky gloves and bristling epaulettes. Before yours sincerely could finish marvelling at the kitchen Napoleon, the crazy boy exploded..

“Oga, Okon now be commander in chief, no be like dem yeye Yoruba musician ooo. He get time like dat when I dey see dem fine and dandy young Yoruba Oba for Lagos. I come ask wetin be im name and dem say na Elegusi, so I come think say dem better Yoruba people dey give dem cook Oba title. I come say I be Elewedu and dem area boys come beat me sotey. Naim I come tell dem I be Emir for Tuwo Shinkafa. But dis one like dem Jonathan be commander in chief for inside dem Aso Rock, Okon be commander in chief for kitchen sef. Make dem area boys come try dem nonsense make I put better pepper for dem konta konta eye.”

“But Jonathan is a real Field Marshal.” Snooper offered.

“Oga, no be wetin we dey talk? Na for inside dem field for Aso Rock him dey do him road Marshal for independence ceremony. Even dem Ekwueme and dem old soldier Gowon dey hide under dem Aso canopy. I see dem with my korokoro eye. Dem mountain Anyim dey cry for Ibo, biko, biko, biri kem biri. Dem Boko be dem mama him husband. I don tell dem Jonathan make dem cancel dem independence day, abi na by force?”

“Okon, have you been hit by shell before,” snooper demanded.

“Plenty time. Shell no dey kill Efik man. Dem stupid Yoruba barber come throw dem cowrie shell at Okon for Bar Beach,” the crazy boy sneered.

“Okon, you are a big fool, big time,”snooper noted with a comic frown.

“Ha oga no be only dat. He get time like that for dis dem Oduduwa kitchen. As Okon come break egg from dem Ogbologbo Yoruba witch for Oyingbo market dem egg come do Gbuaam and dem shell come hit Okon and dem bird come comot and him dey cry tin o tin oo for kitchen. Naim I come pick race. Calabar juju come finis Yoruba witch. Who born Gbetugbetu for Creek Town?”

It was on that note that snooper quickly shut the kitchen door at the Chef Commander.

October 7, 2012
Happy Birthday, dear ol’ girl!

On this your birthday, dear girl, here’s my glass raised in a toast to you: may your story be long, your tail be short and your ending wear a hat

Happy birthday, Nigeria.

I am sending this birthday card to you a little late, but you know what they say, better late than never. Besides, I say that the best ones come last, e.g. wine at a party. I would have sent it earlier anyways, but I have been a little stumped on what exactly to write to cheer you up. What with all your dismal and chequered stories of wasted opportunities, generations and even until recently, lives, it’s all we can do to hang on to our seats in this cinema of horror passing horror! The years do add up, though don’t they, ol’ girl? Just look at you, all grown up at fifty-two! What, still growing? Well, it is a matter of perspective, isn’t it, to determine who is grown and who is growing. But, if you say you are still growing, then so be it. I mean, when a dog barks, who is to argue with him on what he means by it exactly?

Look at me now, at your age, I considered myself all grown. How I knew? Well, by the time you begin to notice that when you look in the mirror, you see some smooth areas of your skin surrounded by many variegated lines of wrinkles; or when you walk with your eyes on the ground so that you don’t fall cause if you do, they are going to need a crane to pick you up; or when you bend down, you have to hold your waist as you rise cause it’s all gone, baby gone; or when you keep telling people not to block your view by standing in front of the TV until someone tells you that there’s no one there, it’s your eyes that have gone rheumy; I say when these things begin to happen, you know you are going somewhere. Trust me, I know; at that age, there is no more ‘up’ to grow to, it’s only ‘down’ baby, down.

You see, girl, fifty-two is the age when people tell you a lot of lies, and because you are so vulnerable, you believe them. People actually tell you that you are still looking good. Don’t be fooled, looks don’t mean a thing. Ask Marilyn Monroe, ask Jackie Kennedy, as me. Did you say I don’t belong in that group? Come now, is this the time to split fine hairs?

Anyway, people will also tell you, how strong you are! Again, don’t be fooled; you know what support cast you have to walk with. It is just you and your doctor who both know how many pills you have to pop in a day: a blue one for your rheumatic joints, a white one for diabetes, a red one for hypertension and a green one to help you remember your spouse’s name each morning.

Fifty-two is clearly also the age when you need a little help from your first child to assist you to remember the names of his/her siblings. Those ones don’t usually want anything to do with your fossilised self anyway. It is also the age when your friends have to gather and eat your cake for you not because you like to see them around you (truth is you would rather not) but because you cannot eat any of that cake yourself if your doctor has his way. Girl, at fifty-two, you have a lot to be thankful for; you get by with the help of your friends.

Oh dear, you say you have not been very lucky with your own set of friends, associates, citizens, or well wishers, and there doesn’t appear to be much you can do about them? Yeah, I know, your friends appear to be killing you right now. I forget now which nineteenth century writer said he’d rather be killed by his friends (they love him) than his enemies (that would be adding insult to injury). So, consider yourself lucky. In all fairness, some of us have wept for you; some have cried out in your defence; some have even shed their blood on your behalf. But it just appears that those who have given up next to nothing for you are the ones bent on taking everything you have to give, not caring whether they destroy you in the process. They just don’t seem to like you.

I know, I know, you have been given so much in trust for us. Look at the extremely vast areas of very, very arable land you have in your keeping; look at the very vast amounts of solid and liquid minerals you are holding for our collective benefits; look at the vast amounts of human resources you have placed at our disposal. Yet, we have all but ruined you for our selfish and parochial interests.

You have certainly seen it all, haven’t you? You have been ruled by vagabonds and killers; you have accommodated innocent mass assisted suicide hysterics cum citizens who have turned killers; you have also tolerated the inactive ones who are neither killers in government nor are in citizens’ bombing squads but have done nothing to help you. You have regarded everything and everyone with your bemused, sad and lonely gaze with admirable equanimity. Yet, I know you’re bleeding for yourself and for us even if we cannot see your bleeding heart. Because we are so blind and blinkered, no one has lifted a hand in your favour. So now, you have no one to call your own. There are people in Nigeria, but no Nigerians!

Many of the things we do appear to pitch us on your side. See how much religiosity there is in the land. The churches are all but filled with converts gyrating endlessly in ecstasy while the mosques are pelting out calls for prayers at all hours, both waking day and sleeping night. Yet, not one of us shows that we even know the Almighty in any remote sense. Our psyches have been collectively and unidirectionally tuned towards taking, taking, taking out of the national cake, even killing for it while giving nothing to you in return. We are all, to a man, on no one’s side but our own; and you are all alone.

Actually, you are to blame, partially. You have given us this much really, without adding the necessary and commensurate intelligence that would enable us use all these effectively for the greater good. Look at so many other lands with no resources whatsoever, whether liquid or solid; just see how they are able to manage the only resource nature has given them, their brains. Why did you not cut us a large size of the stuff too, brains I mean? I am seeing that in the Nigerian, it would appear that the black man is really short on the stuff. This is why avowed killers are in government and people help themselves to government funds in amounts that rival the national budgets of some countries. Still wonder that a people can be so blessed and still be so stupid?! It is all your fault.

In spite of all these though, ol’ girl, I don’t despair; you still have a fan club rooting for you. I believe your bones will still rise from the ashes to gloriousness. The path might be long, rough and stony but the light at the tunnel will continue to be a strong pull for you. On this your birthday, dear girl, here’s my glass raised in a toast to you: may your story be long, your tail be short and your ending wear a hat. Happy birthday ol’ girl!

October 7, 2012
Achebe: Some things are better left unsaid

Professor Chinua Achebe’s latest book, There Was A Country, A Personal History of Biafra, is bound to engender stormy controversies all over the country and perhaps beyond, for its candour, its controversial allotment of motives to the principal actors of the Nigerian civil war, and the author’s unrepentant and undisguised partisanship. The book is yet to be released to the Nigerian market, but the Guardian of London last week excerpted a short but very poignant part of the book to whet readers’ appetite and for analysts to have an idea of the book’s potency. This piece will look at that excerpt and attempt a brief foray into the eminent writer’s mind. No review of the book will be attempted until it is available.

First, here is what the publishers have to say of the book: “The defining experience of Chinua Achebe’s life was the Nigerian civil war, also known as the Biafran War, of 1967–1970. The conflict was infamous for its savage impact on the Biafran people, Chinua Achebe’s people, many of whom were starved to death after the Nigerian government blockaded their borders. By then, Chinua Achebe was already a world-renowned novelist, with a young family to protect. He took the Biafran side in the conflict and served his government as a roving cultural ambassador, from which vantage he absorbed the war’s full horror. Immediately after, Achebe took refuge in an academic post in the United States, and for more than forty years he has maintained a considered silence on the events of those terrible years, addressing them only obliquely through his poetry. Now, decades in the making, comes a towering reckoning with one of modern Africa’s most fateful events, from a writer whose words and courage have left an enduring stamp on world literature.

“Achebe masterfully relates his experience, both as he lived it and how he has come to understand it. He begins his story with Nigeria’s birth pangs and the story of his own upbringing as a man and as a writer so that we might come to understand the country’s promise, which turned to horror when the hot winds of hatred began to stir. To read There Was a Country is to be powerfully reminded that artists have a particular obligation, especially during a time of war. All writers, Achebe argues, should be committed writers—they should speak for their history, their beliefs, and their people.

Marrying history and memoir, poetry and prose, There Was a Country is a distillation of vivid firsthand observation and forty years of research and reflection. Wise, humane, and authoritative, it will stand as definitive and reinforce Achebe’s place as one of the most vital literary and moral voices of our age.”

It is unlikely anyone will question Achebe’s literary astuteness, especially knowing that he is a towering literary personality of the 20th Century. No one will also question his freedom to say the things he has just said in the book, for he felt the torment of the civil war as keenly as the worst victim, just as the publishers indicated. What with his young family that needed his protection during the war, and his involvement as a roving cultural ambassador of the short-lived Biafra Republic. In general too, Achebe was impeccable in counselling writers to take a stand on the great moral issues of the day, as he apparently did during the war, and has now done again more than four decades after. What remains to be seen, however, is to what extent he could take liberty with his understanding of the issues surrounding the war, his interpretations, his conclusions, and the underlying emotions that obviously coloured both his own worldview and his paranoid perception of the country vis-à-vis the Igbo people.

After reading the Guardian (London) excerpt of the book, I concluded this was a book he should not have written, for sometimes, the merit of a book is compromised by just one page, one paragraph, even one sentence. Because of the sentiments contained in the excerpt, which sentiments I think vitiate the force of his lofty intellect, Achebe should have left unsaid many of the things he wrote in the book. His reputation as a world-renowned writer was already secure, having written one of the 50 most influential books of all time. Why did he feel impelled to write this fateful book, one which doubtless reinforces the suspicion many hold about his private and public animosities? Achebe is a courageous writer and a principled Nigerian who felt no qualms twice spurning the honours bestowed on him by the Nigerian government. A disreputable government could not give honour to one so morally superior, he snorted. Yet, the book contains sentiments that appear unworthy of both the fame he has acquired by dint of his unequalled genius and the high pedestal upon which Nigeria, nay, the world has thrust him.

Most of the criticisms levelled against Achebe come from the Southwest. The critics seek to defend Chief Obafemi Awolowo against the motives ascribed to him by the author. I do not intend to join forces with those critics. It is enough to say that writing interpretative historical works and psychoanalysing historical personalities are not Achebe’s forte. Perhaps if he were detached from the Biafran debacle he would have been able to do a greater work. For now I am uncomfortable with a few issues raised in the excerpt. First is the fact that the eminent author showed a disturbing streak of extreme traumatisation. Forty-two years after the civil war, the bitterness Achebe nursed against both the federal side and a few of the dramatis personae in the war are still very fresh and potent. He has allowed that bitterness to endure, to retain its potency, and to colour his perception of Nigerian (ethnic) politics. I doubt whether the great Dr Nnamdi Azikiwe, who was ambivalent towards Biafra, nor the man who led Biafra itself, Dim Emeka Ojukwu, retained such vitriol against the rest of Nigeria as Achebe.

Second, it is hard to know where Achebe got the statistics upon which he built his insupportable conclusions. He claims the principal targets of the war, a war he insinuates was genocidal, were two million mothers, children, babies – all civilians, apparently in contradistinction to military casualties. He inexplicably ignores the losses suffered by World War II combatants. The former Soviet Union alone lost over 16 million civilians and about eight million troops. China lost more than 10 million civilians and just over one million armed men. Poland lost about six million civilians and over 800,000 armed men. Germany, where the final battles of the war were fought, lost seven million people, about half of whom were civilians. In all, WWII cost between 60 to 70 million lives of which some 40 to 50 million were civilians. Civilians often bear the brunt of wars.

The Nigerian civil war was fought mostly in the Southeast, yet the author queries the preponderance of war dead on the Biafran side. Where does Achebe expect most of the casualties to come from? He also said the small arms deployed in the constricted Southeast region during the less than three years the civil war lasted were more than the quantity deployed in the entire WWII, which lasted over six years and was fought across vast territories. Even without counting, and looking at the scale and scope of WWII losses, it would be far-fetched to come to Achebe’s conclusions. Except the author could convince us that the more than 40 million soldiers who fought in WWII shared weapons or fought barehanded, and the soldiers who fought in the Nigerian civil war used more than 40 guns each, he could never persuade anyone that more small arms were used in the Southeast during the war. After all, Nigerian Army strength rose to only 120,000 by the end of that war. It is doubtful that Biafran troops exceeded federal troops in number.

Achebe’s latest book is unlikely to be of much value. It will be regarded as a bitter account by a traumatised man who has found it difficult to overcome the effects of the civil war. He considers as diabolical the use of starvation as a weapon of war, as if he never read any history of warfare, where sieges were designed to starve the enemy into submission. He glosses over the fact that Igbo people lived in the Southwest during the war; yet he yielded to paranoia by concluding that the purpose and methods of the war were designed to exterminate the Igbo. He connects those execrable methods, such as starvation, to Awolowo’s ambitious design for power and northern jihadist inclinations. This is guesswork.

The Guardian (London) newspaper excerpt illustrates how difficult it is for many Nigerian intellectuals to overcome the stereotypes that hamstring objective discussions of national affairs. So, who will write the history of that period, let alone teach it, when even Achebe could not overcome stereotypes nor bury the bitterness of four decades past? The great roles played by many Igbo personalities during the war are being highlighted, and many of them, including the great Zik and the charismatic Ojukwu, are being canonised. We must hope that Achebe does not take us back to our ignoble past where heroic deeds are acknowledged through ethnic prism.

October 7, 2012
Hope in a season of national cholera

I have adapted as the title of this piece the famous Latin American literature Nobel Prize winner, Garcia Marchia’s novel, ‘Love in the Time of cholera’. The reason for this is of course obvious. The last 52 years have been a season of national cholera for Nigeria. Cholera has been described as an acute intestinal disease that is often fatal. Pray, are the intestinal component units, institutions and values of the Nigerian state not severely diseased, contaminated and in grave danger of irredeemable extinction?

The causes of cholera include poor sanitation, crowding, war, famine as well as eating or drinking contaminated food or water. Do millions of our people not live in insanitary and dehumanising environments? Are millions of Nigerians across the country not forced to live in overcrowded rooms, including slums and urban shanties? Are we not already in a situation of war with the violent activities of the Boko Haram fundamentalist Islamic group, kidnappers, armed robbers and sundry criminal elements that continue to defy the authority of the Nigerian state?

Are millions of Nigerians not living today in conditions difficult to differentiate from famine? The value of the Naira continues to plummet. At the same time food prices keeps rising thus making hunger the constant companion of the vast majority of Nigerians. In any case, can the vast majority of jobless youths afford to feed in any meaningful manner? Do millions of Nigerians have access to clean drinking water despite the country being blessed so abundantly with water? Have we not seen some of our compatriots foraging in garbage dumps for something to eat? In a condition of mass poverty with the minimum wage embarrassingly far below the cost of living, can many Nigerians, already living in desperately poor conditions, really care about the quality of food they eat? Are they, therefore, not vulnerable to eating contaminated food?

In other words, the conditions for the outbreak of national cholera are right here with us? And in many ways Nigeria is already exhibiting symptoms of cholera, which include watery diearrhea that starts suddenly (Boko Haram), rapid dehydration (massive corruption), rapid pulse (insecurity), nausea (Otedollar/Lawan saga), glassy or sunken eyes (collapsed education and health) as well as unusual sleepiness and tiredness (anaemic presidential leadership).

To treat cholera, health care workers replace fluid and electrolytes lost by the patient through diearrhea. But can Nigeria find the right type of visionary, courageous and selfless leadership that can cure this scourge of cholera that is slowly suffocating and insidiously bleeding the Nigerian polity to death? As I drove out of Lagos during the week, these were the questions on my mind. Can President Goodluck Jonathan be that quintessential statesman that will restore the country to socio-economic, political and moral health? There is absolutely no reason to believe he has any such capacity. And nothing demonstrates this better than his Independence Day anniversary speech to the nation. As many analysts have said, the speech was listless, insipid, colourless, utterly uninspiring and even bordering on terminological inexactitude (not falsehood), in some parts.

Even more alarmingly, the speech gave the impression of a presidency absolutely out of touch with the contemporary Nigerian reality and is thus satisfied with its performance so far. President Jonathan called on “every Nigerian to remain steadfast because our nation is making progress”. I am not sure that deep in his heart the President believes this outrageous claim that contrasts so sharply with the state of the country today.

Nothing illustrated the lack of progress in Nigeria better than the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway on which I was travelling as I reflected on our 52nd Independence Day anniversary and President Jonathan’s leadership capacity. Like several other highways across the country, this road has been abandoned by the PDP-controlled Federal government since 1999. The pot holes and veritable craters on the road are a national embarrassment. No, we have regressed rather than progressed in virtually all aspects of national life contrary to President Jonathan’s assertion. In reality, the country is far worse today than she was in 1999.

President Jonathan is most certainly right in recalling how the country “weathered the storm of the civil”, and urging Nigerians to be courageous and hopeful. But then, if the necessary radical institutional and structural reforms to make the country strong and viable are not undertaken we will inevitably end up with another conflagration much worse than the civil war. So far his administration’s Transformation Agenda remains just another slogan that simply does not resonate with the majority of the Nigerian people. The more the Jonathan administration shouts about its Transformation Agenda from the hilltop, the more the people get poorer and angrier at the inhuman conditions of their existence.

All through the speech, Mr. President gave the impression of a man who is satisfied with the performance of his administration so far. He measures economic progress not by the actual reality and deplorable living standards of Nigerians but by abstract GDP statistical growth rates. How can a country be said to have an economic growth rate of 7.1% yet the majority of her people are impoverished and her infrastructure dilapidated beyond comprehension?

The President is naturally happy about the recent marginal improvement in power supply. In reality, he ought to be very sad and angry that a country with a population of 160 million is only attaining 4,500 MW of electricity after 13 years of the return to civilian rule and over $16 billion gone down the drain. Millions of unemployed youths across the country would find the President’s claim of “creating wealth and millions of jobs for our youth and general population” most laughable.

The President claimed his administration has improved the country’s investment climate thus attracting more investment to the country. He believes that due to his administration’s efforts “there has been a significant decline in the spate of security breaches”. Yet, Mr. President addressed the nation from the safety of his Aso Rock Villa rather than preside over a presidential parade at the Eagle Square! What signal does he think that sends to foreign investors and even Nigerians about the true state of security in the country?

In spite of all that is wrong with Nigeria, there is cause for hope that this season of cholera will soon come to an end. But, then that can only happen when people are politically conscious and are prepared to make the necessary sacrifices to fight for a credible electoral system that will ensure their votes count. That way, they will be able to vote for candidates at all levels with the character, competence and vision to promote development, peace and progress of Nigeria. A credible electoral system will put public officers on their toes because they know that the electorate has the capacity to vote them out of office through free and fair elections. A credible electoral system is therefore the only hope for the liberation of Nigeria from this humiliating season of national cholera. The last test case was Edo. The people voted emphatically for change. The next port of call on October 20 is Ondo state. Yours truly was in Akure, Ikare, Ondo town and Ore during the week. I was utterly shocked at the total lack of development; the terrible deterioration of infrastructure and the palpable poverty in at least in those three key towns. Now, if the towns look like large urban slums, what would be the situation in the rule areas of Ondo state? I could thus understand the huge turn out at the ACN rallies and the yearning for change that is so obvious in the state. It is up to the people to exercise the power of their vote and vigilantly police their votes. The outcome of the Ondo polls will hopefully be another giant stride towards liberating Nigeria from the national cholera of the past 52 years.

October 6, 2012
Don’t stop the league (2)

The domestic league is off – technically.

The talk among the league clubs is that the honourable sports minister directed its stoppage to redefine the way the game is being run. Fantastic idea. But doesn’t this offer lazy clubs and managers an excuse for their failure at the end of the season?

If the essence of stopping the league is to restore the confidence of the corporate world in the, then we have shot ourselves in the foot. There are existing deals in the league that are time bound. Supersports has scheduled games for certain periods. The stoppage means that the South African television network will be compelled to look for fillers. Yet, the real problem will be finding space for the league matches which will definitely clash with existing programmes at some point. Companies’ fiscal year won’t accommodate our plans largely because they maintain a January-December calendars. Besides, they won’t trust us to keep to the time-table.

Nigeria will lose the advantage gained in having our league to run in tandem with other leagues. Our domestic clubs will suffer when other leagues’ transfer windows open. The good ones in our league will sneak out for trials and deplete their teams. Teams will be weakened by the absence of their stars and quality of play. Of course, if the fans are dissatisfied with what they see, they won’t return to watch subsequent matches.

Besides, most governors of states which own teams have found an alibi to keep club officials at arms’ length and that could be dangerous, especially as most governors take delight in working in Abuja, leaving their states at a standstill until they return.

Players and coaches will be roaming the cities, condemned to playing the game in their neighbourhoods, particularly on school grounds with improvised facilities. Shylock agents prancing waiting to lure the weak-hearted among them into slavish contracts outside the country. These shylocks need not wait for long because the players would soon be hungry, if they aren’t already.

The real causalities are the country’s representatives at the Confederation of Africa Football (CAF) inter-club competitions. Those who will also feel the pang are the country’s flag bearers in CAF and FIFA U-20, U-23 and Super Eagles because our boys will be match rusty. A clear case of the effect of this lacuna is the appeal of Sunshine FC’s management to Eagles chief coach Stephen Keshi to cajole the boys to play for Nigeria. Of course, the Ondo State governor is deeply enmeshed in the fight of his life to gain a second berth in the Sunshine State. Football is nothing. But you ask, did he not make provision for this in previous budgets? That is the real reason why we must cultivate the habit of prosecuting those who misappropriate cash meant for the development of sports, not just football.

Again, honourable minister, Keshi on Wednesday told the press that he invited 23 home-based players to the Super Eagles camp head of the October 13 Africa Cup of Nations tie against Liberia because he wasn’t sure of the players’ form since it the league is off. I dey laugh o!

The lull in the league has divided the media with spurious claims being made to justify why the game must be grounded. The reasons being advanced now are not different from those we heard from the same characters in the past. The new order they are lynching, they once told us were the best option. The implication is that we are chasing selfish interests couched in the drape of change. Yet, I know that the minister’s plans transcend the media lynching that the present order is facing.

The pre-season media blitz as it concerns players’ movements heightens the awareness among clubs’ fans, such that everyone is eager to know what to expect and make frantic bids to secure their tickets in a bid to watch their idols.

The fans’ debates help to convince the business sector to inject cash into the European leagues, knowing that they can connect with the masses to sell their products and services seamlessly. This crucial marketing activity rubs off handsomely on the clubs. It also creates competition among brands which eventually think of windows where they can identify with the global brand- soccer. It is difficult in Nigeria because those who own the property prefer to use middle men not because they are better bargainers, but because they can strike shady deals with them easily. This trend continues because we have failed to probe funds pumped into sports. This lapse has emboldened others to fill their pockets and impoverish the players and coaches, who should benefit the most.

Indeed, European clubs start reaping cash from the sales of shirts of their new recruits, especially the big ones. Need I waste space to talk about the market activities surrounding big stars, such as Cristano Ronaldo, when he left Manchester United for Real Madrid? Or can we situate the money that megastars, such as David Beckham and Lionel Messi,make from merchandising? All these business activities happen because there is zero tolerance for sharp practices in those climes. The only way we can move forward is ensuring that people who take money from firms render account. Otherwise, there will be no deal from the blue-chip companies in Nigeria for our soccer.

Globally, club football thrives on several marketing windows that increase the cash flow for all the participants. Such windows are title sponsorship rights, television rights, official insurers, official kitting firms, official beverage firms, official water firms, agencies responsible for the billboards and others boards that carry the message of the game to the public.

These windows serve as one of the ways of generating revenue. Cash realised from these marketing ventures are declared at the end of the season, such that clubs know what to expect from each window to drive their transfer sales even before their proprietors pull out their cheque books. I laugh when people say that our clubs are cash-strapped. I wonder if anyone has asked those who manage government clubs how much they make from selling our players in inter and intra club transfers? Do we really care? If we do, many people who run these clubs will be in jail. We need this therapy to instill the fear of God in our administrators. The sale of players in the transfer period is bonanza for many clubs that groom rookies and a drain in the purse for those who thrive in splashing cash on new players annually. Our administrators are mindless, if we consider how much telecommunication giants Globacom sank into the Nigeria Premier League in 2006- about N2.4 billion.

Surprised, please don’t be. Globacom coughed out N693 million during the 2006-2007 season where there was an abridged league (18 weeks). Again in for the 2007-2008 season , Glo put in N762.6 million for 38 matches; 2008-2009 season N835 million for another 38 matches. Indeed, Globacom paid additional N25 million each year for seminars. Did I hear shout aloud bazaar? You haven’t read anything about how cash flowed into the domestic game. Globacom paid upwards of N18 million to organise the end of season Super Four but those who ran the show didn’t consider it expedient to pay the winners prize money. Nigeria, we hail thee!

Many would say that the NPL boards did their audits. But, it is not true that the new board inherited a debt of over N12 million? What did the predecessor of the debtor board leave in the NPL coffers? Did the NPL not boast that part of its feats was in having its own secretariat? Is it not also true that that edifice was used as collateral for loans that could make the boastful body lose it? Did they pay the clubs their share of the sponsorship deal for its duration? What happened to all the tours to England some people undertook in the name of collaboration with the English Football Association (NFA)? Why would we still be struggling with television rights if the proper things were done? How much is the NPL worth? These are the real issues that must be addressed, if we hope to make any meaningful change in the domestic league.

October 6, 2012
Religion, politics and global security

The shocking news on the internet that 48 students of the Federal Polytechnic, Mubi in Adamawa state were killed in cold blood by attackers who stormed their hostels at night, called out their names and killed them with knives and guns, set the tone for the topic of today. Internet news had it that the students union of the Polytechnic had just had an election that had religious and ethnic coloration and that the killings reflected this dark politicization of events. A statement credited to a former president of the National Association of Nigerian Students – NANS – one Mr Henshaw noted that the winner of the students elections was a Christian as well as the Rector of the institution, and that there had been resentment of these facts amongst some sections of the institution   and it was no coincidence that the winner of the election was killed.

That and the sheer savagery as well as the number of those killed showed that the mix of politics, religion and security has misfired most violently at the Federal Polytechnic, Mubi where I    taught Economics as a youth corper when it was founded as the Federal School of Arts and Science several years ago. It is my contention here that what happened at the Polytechnic in Mubi is a reflection of a larger   and pervasive malaise that is affecting the global political system, nations and   institutions generally.    It   is a dangerous trend that is setting the tone for real friction and hostilities amongst the various social, political and religious entities that make up the modern nation state    and it is solidifying-   very dangerously- divisions amongst peoples of different faiths and beliefs even   within nations that claim to run secular constitutions like Nigeria where Mubi is located.

I am using events that happened on the global scene in the past week to illustrate my   viewpoint here   and without sounding alarmist I think all of us should take another look at the role of religion in our environment especially with regard to our politics and general security globally.   From Turkey’s intervention in Syria which NATO says it supports; to the presidential debate in the US between Obama and Mitt Romney, religion plays an underlying role that gives value to the type of politics and security that emerges in every part of the world nowadays. Either in Islam or Christianity it is obvious that the fault lines are getting wider in terms of global cohabitation and tolerance and that politics is getting charged and overheated   locally and globally, subsequently.

Let us start with Turkey sending its planes to bomb positions inside Syria after Syrian forces had killed innocent Turks – five of them including children according to reports – inside Turkey. On the surface Turkey, has a right to defend its territorial integrity which Syria had violated- ostensibly because Syrian rebels were fleeing into Turkey after attacking Syrian troops. Turkey’s government has already taken parliamentary approval to attack Syria even though it said it does not want war with Syria. But the situation is not that clear cut and is full of real and potential diplomatic mischief. Turkey has been seeking EU membership for over 50 years now to no avail, for the simple reason that most EU members are not comfortable with Turkey’s proud Islamic credentials.

Turkey claims to be running a secular constitution under the monitoring of its military – which in recent times has had its former generals who planned coups and ran dictatorships – being put on trial by a popular government with fundamentalist sympathies that have tested Turkey’s secularity   dangerously of late.

Now before a shot had been fired, NATO nations say they stand by Turkey even though at best Turkey is just a member of a military alliance and not a full -fledged member of the EU as the Turks have always wanted. Now, by attacking Syria in the present crisis, is Turkey and its leaders aiming to kill two birds with one stone—   namely   to nail a bothersome neighbor and clinch EU membership in the process? Before this   no less a person than former Cardinal   Joseph Ratzinger   now Pope Benedict XVI and current German Chancellor Angela Merkel   were on record as saying that Turkey cannot be a member of the EU because Europe is Christian and cannot afford for its security to have a Muslim   member nation in the heart of Europe.

In addition the present Turkish government should be careful in the way it attacks an Arab nation in spite of the present isolation of the unpopular Assad regime. Egypt and the Arab League may call for the fall of the Assad dynasty but the geopolitical equation changes once Turkey a non – Arab, but Muslim   nation attacks another Arab and Muslim nation like Syria ostensibly on behalf of Western Europe. In addition, it remains to be seen if Russia and China will stick to their guns and veto proposed UN resolution to intervene in Syria, Libya style, in the face of Syrian provocation and Turkey’s retaliation. It is of note that the present Turkish government has won three elections so far back to back in spite of the grumblings and suspicion of the military about its religious fervor in Turkey’s secular environment. It is therefore well advised to watch before it leaps into trouble over Syria at the expense of its home grown religious popularity in spite of the attraction of EU membership or   the lure of regional leadership in the Middle East while looking over its shoulders at Egypt and Iran.

At the end of the US presidential debate last Wednesday, the general conclusion was that Barak Obama lost the debate to his challenger   Mitt Romney who was trailing at the polls before the TV debate and who performed creditably   and with a commanding presence. The behavior and performance of the two well prepared candidates reminded me of that between former President Ronald Reagan of the Republican Party and incumbent President Jimmy Carter   who was famous for his cheerful toothy smile but who allowed Reagan to annoy him during their TV   Debate with the taunt – there you go again- anytime Carter charged that Reagan if elected would lead the US to war.

Carter lost the election after the debate and ended up as a one term president while Reagan went on to have two terms. Romney used Reagan to tease Obama successfully in this week’s TV debate by saying that Obama was quoting Reagan on tax cuts for the rich while charging that Romney   a Republican like Reagan was taxing the poor more than the rich. Romney then stunned a speechless or tongue- tied Obama with the charge that the US president was an ‘expert on raising taxes, raising government expenditure and raising regulation‘. To me the debate was between a champion of laissez faire capitalism – Romney – and the welfare state – Obama .

On the day, however, like   a commentator said, it was as if Obama’s mind was on his 20th wedding anniversary on that same day, and not on the debate. On a personal note really, the debate and Obama’s loss reminded me of another painful spectacle in boxing when Larry Holmes, the great Mohammed Ali’s sparring partner defeated his hero over 15 rounds to retain his World Heavyweight title in the US . I waited vainly then for Ali to produce the wonder punch to take Holmes to the cleaners and end Holmes insolence. That punch never came just as Obama was not able to match Romney’s mastery of issues last Wednesday till the end of the one hour TV debate.

Nevertheless the religion connection however is still there in the US presidential election and showed its ugly face in Mitt Romney’s earlier private video categorization of Palestinians as not wanting peace in the Middle East and his total support for the state of Israel. He had problems with this but has refused to change his utterances on this as well as the 47% categorization in which he said such a percentage of Americans will not vote for him because they are government handout beneficiaries. But then in terms of religion both Obama and Romney can be said to be change catalysts in US politics .Whether that change in   US politics   is for good or bad – only time will tell. Both are also what I will call ‘unthinkables’ in US politics.

Obama is the first US black president   and Romney is aiming to be the first Mormon one. They follow the charismatic pedigree of the first Catholic American president – John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK). While Romney has already alienated himself with Arab Americans Obama too is at loggerheasds with the US Catholic Church whose leading Cardinal attended Romney’s consecration at the GOP convention, just to say prayers and not to endorse, as the Cardinal insisted. But then the Cardinal and others had gone to court to challenge the Obama’s administration meddling in Education in violation of the US constitution by asking employers to fund birth control for their employees of which the Catholic Church has millions in schools and hospitals all over the US. This pitches Obama against US Catholics especially the Latinos who are the fastest growing immigrants in the US – even far more that blacks. If the Latinos obey their Church as expected of them Obama will have problems on November 6. But the pundits are focusing on the so called swing states   and some are saying the debates may not change the polls or decrease Obama’s lead which to me is like a dog barking at the moon.

Overall, religion hangs like a sword of Damocles over contemporary local and international politics and relations, as well as security. On the Federal Polytechnic, Mubi, the government must put its feet down firmly and not assign the murder and mayhem as usual to the Boko Haram menace – as even the usual claim of responsibility was not forthcoming from them in the first instance. Student politics must never be allowed to degenerate to barbaric murder at night as happened at Mubi – Sabon Dale as the Polytechnic is not a religious or state institution but a federal one, open to all Nigerians as teachers, workers and students.

Student politics is a universal process of leadership growth and learning   and should not be grounded because some students have murder in their hearts because of a loss of an election. It is therefore the most important duty of government to punish those involved maximally to serve as a deterrent to others. That, to me is the only way to secure peace in Mubi and hopefully Nigeria and the world at large   in the face of rampant global religious provocations.

October 6, 2012
Re: Will Sanusi floor our honourable men again?

•Thank you Vincent for your fiery and scintillating piece on the N5,000 note conflection. It is already common knowledge that Sanusi is arrogant and usually self-opinionated in his approach to issues of national importance the same National Assembly members are known for their laxity and corrupt enrichment of themselves, cronies and family mebers.

But both institutions occupying very important positions in our national life should act as checks and balances on each other in the interest of the nation and not just winning each other for the sake of winning in matters that arise. It is wrong for Sanusi to want to want to introduce the N5,000 note without due consultations and with immediate effect, just as it would not be proper for the House to throw out the N5,000 without really taking time to weigh its merits and demerits.

Emmanuel Egwu, Enugu.

•Vincent, Sanusi can never win this time. Nobody, no matter how powerful he or she is, can confront the press and the masses and get away with it. He was able to triumph over the National Assembly because both the press and the masses were in his support.

Alhaji Adeboye Lawal, Ibadan.

•At the time your piece was published, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi had been compelled by the Commander-in-Chief to put the printing of N5,000 note and other intended coins on hold albeit to respect the National Assembly and other dissenting voices, not necessarily because of superior argument against the currency restructuing.

You know also that the President will have to get his 2013 budget approved by Lord Assemblymen with ease. Finally, Sanusi has done his best and loves the masses with his courageous banking reforms.

Lanre Oseni.

•Concerning your piece on the N5,000 note, it is good that the National Assembly backed the citizenry because it was a sure way for the untouchables to engage in money laundering in a new way. It is also a sure way for corruption to be introduced in a new way without stopping the old one. They know what they are doing and what they want.

Asuki.

•The National Assembly’s decision to stop Mallam Sanusi’s N5,000 note is a welcome development to avoid inflation. With this, democracy is working partially. Sanusi took Nigerians for granted by not consulting well on the issue.

Chika Nnorom, Umukabia, Abia State.

Re: The plot to destroy the naira

•Sanusi is a true bourgeois economist. He is working to make Nigeria a solid and sound scion of the capitalist world. It does not bother the Sanusis that the working class all over the world want capitalism to be guilliotined. Why? It is a blood sucker.

Amos Ejimonye, Kaduna

•Nigerians abhor coins because of misplaced sense of sophistication. All over the world, any currency of one dollar value and below are in coins. It costs more than N12 to print a N5 note. Coins, with a life span of more than 15 years, makes more economic sense. It is in good interest to even change N50 and even N100 to coins so that their usage is compelled.

In competition and with availability of coins, water may even cost N4 per sachet. Furthermore, it may aid the cashless policy since many Nigerians are aversed to coins.

Q. Daniel.

•Vin, are you a new man in this country? You should have known by now that policies and changes in this clime are meant for our rulers. So who cares whether there will be hyper-inflation if the N5,000 note is introduced and smaller denominations are technically phased out. The funniest aspect is that the National Assembly will intially pretend as if they are on the people’s side only to turn against us after they might have been settled.

A good example is th recent introduction of new number plates and driver’s licence. NASS members intially cried blue murder but changed gear after going into close session with the FRSC’s top officials. Anyway, God dey.

Seye, Akure.

•Vin, Thank you for such a nice piece. I think Sanusi Lamido Sanusi should embrace democratic virtues and save himself the avoidable flow of aldrenalin. He should purge himself of dictatorial posture and believe more in engaging the public in debates but with an open mind. He should allow superior logic to prevail rather than combative posture. After all, Nigeria is our country, not SLS or Dan Fodio estate.

SLS unwittingly came to the same chapter where Prof Soludo literally ended his experiments: denominations. What more? He should start packing his bag. The drumbeat is over and the dance must stop/change.

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•Now you guys are coming to terms with what we believe about the Hausa/Fulani north and their kingpins.

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Re: A case for one man, one gun

•Were it being that the citizens vesides criminals and law enforcement agents would be formally trained before the use of such individual guns, I would have subscribed to your titular propositions. Who will catch an abuser of the gun? Where are the cameras to check criminals? None. We will end up causing more problems than solutions at our stage, just like the debate on adopting state police.

The following will solve our crime, kidnap and kill-and-go headaches: massive education of citizens and law enforcement agents; massive enlightenment; massive recruitment of law enforcement agents, about five million to patrol Nigerian cities, streets and rural areas, including our borders; massive and regular training for law enforcement agents; massive unnoticeable cameras on our streets, schools, hotels and factories individually and by governments.

Is it all of us that have the courage to pull triggers even if we have guns?

Lanre Oseni

•I commend your piece on one man one gun. Since the three tiers of government cannot guarantee the safety of their citizens, let every citizen carry a gun to protect their lives. The three tiers of government and the security agencies are not living up to their responsibilities to stop the ugly trend called insecurity and other vices.

Gordon Chika Nnorom.

•Your article on one man, one gun reflects the rationality in George Mangaki’s mantra that the man dies in him who keeps silent in the face of tyranny.

Godfrey

•Your piece, no doubt, is beautiful and I’m well at home with your submissions and postulations. The truth, however, is that we already have laws for such excesses. But ther is a snag: inability to enforce the laws. That is the bane of turbulence and rising criminality in our nation.

Pray, why would a murderer condemned to death by a valid court judgment be kept behind bars indefinitely awaiting the hangman’s noose that may never come, thus defeating the purpose for which justice is sought? It is not enough to make laws and adjudicate, enforcement of such laws is the ultimate antidote to sanitise the nation.

Japhet Ogunniyi.

•Your piece is excellent in the face of the horrible security problems we have in the country today. But how do these cache of arms and ammunition flood into the country when we have security agencies manning our borders? This country is rotten. Corruption has become a religion of sorts.

Since I was born, I have never touched a gun. But it beats my imagination that youths in their 20s in our villages, towns and schools are well armed. Except the monsters that deceive themselves that they are leders, how would these jobless people procure the arms?

Whether we like it or not, our problem starts and ends with this criminal brand of democracy that ensures that laws punish only the hapless followers while the rogues in power remain untouched. Even the judiciary that we look up to for rescue has almost become a strong tower for billionaire crooks. They run to the courts for safety.

Ifeanyi O. Ifeanyi, Abuja.

October 6, 2012
Readers’ parliament 19

You have addressed a matter which bothered my heart greatly. Celebration of motivational speaking is founded mainly on the get-rich quick malady of our time. The lack of depth by most of them is reason why they cannot even tailor foreign opinion to meet present challenges. Motivation works for those who have found their bearing; it is not for the blind. How do you motivate a young man who has no vision but wants to be a millionaire? This is part of the decadence of our time. 08037128706. Steve Aiyanyo. Abeokuta. Ogun State.

Mr. Olatunji Ololade, I have just finished reading your piece on motivational speakers. I enjoyed it for the bitter truth contained therein with regard to our misguided youth who are forever looking for shortcuts and props rather than face the realities of life and living. It’s a must read for my students next week. 08034027080. LKJEJE, Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU), Ile Ife, Osun State.

Yes sir, most of the motivational speakers are shallow but no sir, they shouldn’t be done away. You are clearly not an entrepreneur so won’t be able to understand that a modicum sometimes will make the difference. Please advocate instead for regulation of the trade. Ultimately, a five per cent success rate is okay.From Funso Patrick. Abuja.

Expensive folly…just gone through your write-up. With people like you around, there is hope for Nigeria. Keep it up. From Sunday.

Olatunji, thanks for your article today. I have never trusted my faith in motivational speakers at home and abroad. They are worse than used-car salesmen. Listening to an Aliko Dangote for instance can only encourage me better. There are too many unknowns in this world for mathematical deductions to be trusted. I tell my children: Work-pray-work hard. From Engineer Tunde.

Very good write-up, many true facts but not sensitive to others’ views and religious inclination. You ended with describing favourite pastors’ literature as some retrogressive crutches, that’s not good enough. Read through some of the books and you will be shocked at the depth. Do better next time. From Dr. Silvanus Owei.

Ololade, you spoke my mind in your column. I thought I was the only one that was concerned with the fraud that the so-called motivational speakers are committing in Nigeria. All they do is regurgitate quotable quotes from foreign stars and they make money for this. I pity young Nigerians that fall for this cheap fraud. From Suraj.

Hello mate! Quite a while! Very good outing…just going through. Please keep it up. No disagreement on this. 08063521699. Dr. Omotoso SIB.

Expensive Folly refers: simply put, you are gift to the nation by transcendental enlightenment and liberating courage. I only wish our drowning youth would ever read and accept your precept. I have written you before when you wrote about what should be the true honour our women should seek. Hope to meet you some day. From Chris. Auchi, Edo State.

I just read Expensive Folly (1) and I can’t help but agree with everything you said. It’s high time we youths stopped searching for relevance where there is none. Anonymoys.

RE: Expensive Folly. You are not just a writer, you are an institution sir. Our main problem in Nigeria and Africa is not corruption, but “quality” ignorance across board. From ART.

You are ahead of this generation. Your lingua and lexical gusto is immense. Just hope more people appreciate this talent. We need more of you in journalism. Anonymoys

Please my friend, your Expensive Folly (2) on the stable of Reality Bites is wonderful. Are you aware that those motivational speakers are also in churches as pastors? There, they deceive the congregation that prayer in tithe is the only ingredient to actualizing their earthly dreams. A girl who lacks those essential matrimonial qualities runs to a church with the belief that such pastors can command husbands from the sky for her and pathetically, the pastor accepts the role knowing full well that it’s not possible. Don’t you think this is another religious fraud? From. Victor. Port Harcourt, Rivers State.

Thanks for revealing the ultimate realities of life. As for the youth…those that have ears, let them hear. Keep up the good work. God bless you. Anonymoys

Olatunji, you forgot to add to your list of fraud: modern day “pastors” in various “churches” who preach prosperity daily as if that’s the sole reason for which Jesus came. From VIC IBE.

Your article, Expensive Folly is the best I have read in a while. You spoke the hard truth. I hope other Nigerians will get to read it. Keep up the good work. From Nwachukwu. Ibadan, Oyo State.

Great write up. I appreciate it. Anonymoys.

Blame it on gullibility being a prominent aspect of the Nigerian culture. From. S.A. Alawode.

Dear Olatunji, your write-up is the gospel truth in the face of the reality we have on ground in our present day Nigeria. I believe every individual has a path in this life, it’s just for him to trace the path and pray for God’s guidance and protection every step of the way. Life has no manual. Anonymoys.

Hello Olatunji, your article exposed a group of fraudsters and “foetal adults.” But I know that our young ones and even many mature adults suffer from “Hurried Life Syndrome” and this must be addressed. I think that Robert Frost calls on all who really want to make a contribution to humanity to choose to service and live with universal and timeless principles. I think there are genuine and authentic trainers who live their talk…It’s ridiculous to see a young person talk about life when he hasn’t seen anything. Well, I guess we will always have the tares and the wheat growing together, and like you said, life itself is the greatest teacher. Keep up your good work until we meet. Yours for the best of humanity. From Mrs. Ofovwe.

Re: Expensive Folly (2). Before now, I thought I was the only one that saw the danger in what these so-called motivational speakers are doing to the society. Thanks. Anonymoys.

Olatunji, thanks for your rescue mission. I hope all the parties involved in the “Expensive Folly” could find time to read your piece. Though I just read the second part of it, I think you did not go the full hug by noting that these “life coaches” have permeated the churches. You now hear “everything you want, He will give you” with no room for God shaping your life the way He wants. From Pastor Chudi.

“Once you’ve solved your current problems, you will be rewarded with a whole new set of harder problems,” I have not read a crisper, more honest stuff in a long while. We have a youth population with a searing reality of intellectual poverty, folks reeking of pleasure inebriation and materialistic rum. Thus even hollow orations sound off as extraordinary, demanding the spectacle of mentally barren youths. You rock! Anonymoys.

Olatunji, Expensive Folly is wonderful and thought–provoking. Problems don’t have prototype solutions. I am sorry for we hapless unemployed (often tagged: unemployable) youths of this country that get ripped off those so-called motivational speakers. From Dan. Port Harcourt, Rivers State.

October 5, 2012
Politicising justice

Justice”, as philosopher John Rawls declares, “is the first virtue of social institutions.” After this opening statement to his 1971 classic, Rawls goes on to suggest that “in a just society the liberties of equal citizenship are taken as settled; the rights secured by justice are not subject to political bargaining or the calculus of social interests.” I take it that we, perhaps with the exception of the most highly placed among us, can articulate the reasoning of Rawls and indeed find ourselves in total agreement with him.

I raise the issue of the possible exception of the most highly placed for obvious reasons. First, though we claim to have a republican constitution, the most highly placed act as if ours is a feudal institution with their good selves as the Lords. Therefore, what the constitution proclaims is for others, and is hardly applicable to them. Second, even when they reluctantly concede that we operate a republican constitution, they do not see themselves as bound by its essential remedies and restraints because with their position, they can manipulate the system to suit their interests.

The upshot of the position of the most highly placed is that the system of justice that marks out a republican from a feudal or monarchical institution is brutally skewed in their favor and it becomes a “just-us” system.

There is something grand and pleasing about knowing that the liberties of equal citizenship are settled in a just society. I am assured that my right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness cannot be violated with impunity. I can count on the system of justice to take up my case and plead my cause. The understanding that the rights that accrue to me on the grounds of my membership of the society cannot be bargained away is compellingly reassuring. What I have a right to is mine and is not subject to “political bargaining or the calculus of social interests.” The consequence of such a system for social life is incalculable. It allows for the thriving of citizens and for the flourishing of human lives. Yet the alternative universe with a de facto hierarchical ordering of persons with different access to the system of justice is as dreadful as it is real. It is our universe.

The alternative universe which is the negation of a just system is the reality for most of us in this clime. It used to be that the dispossessed and disenfranchised among us are the victims. For unlike the well-placed, they do not have the means to negotiate their rights in an unjust system. But now it is turning out that even the so-called shakers and dealers are not immune from the “political bargaining” and “the calculus of social interests” that chip away “the rights secured by justice.” Rather than this trend being a solace for the dispossessed, it should ring the alarm bell and warn reasonable people of the dangers of politics run amok.

It is politics run amok when every sphere of social life is politicised, when every action and every policy decision is moderated and modulated by considerations of political interest. It is not a recent phenomenon. Indeed it has been part of our story since the birth of the republic, reaching the crescendo of lunacy in the Second Republic. In 1991, I had the opportunity of contributing to and editing a volume on The Politicisation of Society During Nigeria’s Second Republic, 1979-83, in which my fellow contributors succeeded in demonstrating how virtually all sectors of the society, from religion to ethnicity, law and order, and the economy, were highly politicised. It was the view of my colleagues in that volume that the system buckled in 1983 under the unbearable weight of blatant politicisation.

Fast forward almost three decades later and we have perfected the art of politicisation to the point of regarding it as an essential aspect of social life. It is what politics is supposed to be about. Even when we have a constitution that grounds the separation of powers in the age-old tradition of republicanism, we see politics as the be-all and end-all of our nation-space and other spheres have to bow under its domineering presence.

The case of Justice Isa Salami comes readily to mind as an illustration of this scenario. It has just become clear that the constitution itself is a victim of the ugly game of political savagery that has gone on for far too long without any of the protagonists giving room for the intervention of reason. Articles 237 to 238 of the Constitution are very clear about the role of the President of Nigeria (PON) and the National Judicial Council (NJC) in the hiring and/or firing of the President of the Court of Appeal (PCA). The President cannot appoint, suspend, or dismiss without the recommendation of the NJC. And where the NJC recommends firing or suspending the PCA and the PON appoints the most senior Justice of the Court of Appeal to perform the functions of the PCA, the Constitution is also clear about the duration of such appointment.

Article 238 Section (5) states: “Except on the recommendation of the National Judicial Council, an appointment pursuant to the provisions of subsection (4) of this section shall cease to have effect after the expiration of three months from the date of such appointment, and the President shall not reappoint a person whose appointment has lapsed.” This is as clear as it gets. But the President, who swore to a sacred oath to protect the Constitution, has allegedly reappointed the Acting PCA without the recommendation of the NJC.

Whatever position anyone holds concerning the injustice of the decision to suspend President Salami from office, it is clearly a deficit of integrity to support an act of illegality that is being promoted by the continuation of the Acting President of the Court of Appeal in office.

Integrity implies principled action and wholeness. It is the ability to follow up a commitment with action that realises the commitment. If you commit to protect the constitution, it is deficit of integrity to do anything to jeopardise the health of the constitution. Integrity is especially realised—it shines forth—when difficult situations of self interest present themselves as obstacles to the pursuit of or the realisation of our commitments. If you made me a promise to help me out of trouble and then you face some personal difficulties of your own, yet in the face of your difficulties, you fulfil your promise; that is the height of integrity. When political interests present a conflict that militates against the pursuit and realisation of our commitments and we buckle, we have demonstrated a deficit of integrity.

In the matter on hand, the President must redeem his integrity. So must the Acting President of the Court of Appeal. The appeal of office should not be an obstacle for a man of integrity to show his moral muscle. If those who are in positions of leadership cannot lay good examples in the matter of the ethics of leadership, pray, what is the moral justification for their leadership?

October 5, 2012
Sorry Mr. President, our nation is NOT making progress

It is not quite decorous that one should answer back to ones President but with all due respect sir, there doesn’t seem to be any other way to react to your Independence Day address to the nation than to point it out to you in a direct, plain, simple and straight forward way, the inherent lapses that seem quite grave, to say the least. What I am saying has to be said devoid of any ambiguity or literary guile because it is very important that it is clearly understood.

With due respect to you sir, your speech of October 1st was not only way under par, it is a long litany half-truths, contrivances and outright fallacies. After listening and then reading the published texts (just to make sure I heard you correctly,) my conclusion is that we are probably living in two different countries. While the rest of us live in Nigeria, you live in Asokoro Land from where you hop into your luxury jet and fly off to other beautiful places across the world. Obviously you only see the real Nigeria through the eyes of your fawning aides and the screen of the Nigeria Television Authority. That’s acute myopia.

You said sir that “our nation is making progress” and I say sir that the country is fast receding to the status of a failed state. I will provide substantiation to this later.

You seem to anchor your speech and thoughts on your so-called Transformation Agenda (TA) which you mentioned liberally in the speech. But sorry sir, what is this TA? As I write this, I honestly proclaim that I do not know the head or tail; the beginning or the end of this Agenda being profusely touted by you and your aides as if it were a magical command to solve all of Nigeria’s problems. Nearly one and half years since your inauguration yet nobody has carefully defined and sold (told) this agenda to the people before we can begin to debate its implementation. Where is this document, what is its essence, what are the deliverables and timelines, what are the signature projects, what are the people to expect at the end of four years? The people deserve to know these things and more as a basis of assessing you after four years. Heaven is my witness I do not know. I offer this space to any reader who knows.

Mr. President, to transform is to change radically, quickly, dramatically, completely, from good… to best. Transformation is akin to a paradigm shift – you create a model, an exemplar of all that is good. Most obviously Mr. President, the problems of your administration may well lie in your understanding of the word ‘transformation’. Perhaps if you had anchored around a less virile and less organic word may be we would just look the other way and allow you waddle through four years.

Mr. President if you go to bed with ‘transformation’ you are bound to give birth to extreme children (that word again!). One quick example sir: a transformational leader in your shoes today would handle the corruption monster in Nigeria this way. From day one in office, he would declare all his assets to the last pin publicly to Nigerians; he would insist everyone under his purview, does the same pronto. He would draw a line right there and dare anyone to take a pin he has not earned. At the end of each year through the four-year tenure, he and his appointees would repeat the same process.

This, Mr. President, is transformation. With this approach, you may never have much need of anti-corruption agencies because you have deployed a stronger force called personal example. You have not done any of this, in fact corruption and not insecurity, is the greatest problem of your administration. Yet you looked Nigerians in the face and told them that: “We are fighting corruption in all facets of our economy and we are succeeding.”

How could you say that Mr. President? That is a mind-bending untruth; one almost became deranged listening to your anti-corruption treatise. Let it be stated clearly that yours so far, is the most corrupt government in our history. You and members of all arms of this government seem to be sworn to a blood oath to run a deeply corrupt system. You are all in a steamy, carnal relationship with corruption. Under your administration, corruption piggybacks on corruption; corruption violently sodomises corruption. Here is a scenario: a governor loots his state blind and when his tenure ends, instead of the thief being brought to book, the Office of the Attorney –General of the Federation (AGF) in cahoots with the anti-graft agencies, would squeeze the bandit of the loot in the name of plea-bargain and then set him free. This shady, non-transparent, non-accountable transaction is never made public; the monies are never repatriated to the stated. The total amount is never made known by the plea bargain incorporated Office of the AGF. The thief-catcher is himself a mindless thief and it explains why we never had a single ex-governor convicted or jailed. We are in a looters’ paradise.

Mr. President, just a few days before October 1st, a 24-year-old young Nigerian was arrested at the Lagos Airport trying to ferry $7m (about N1.1b) to Dubai. He said he was working for powerful Nigerians. It never got this bad. Why are we at the nadir now? I will tell you. You, Mr. President, you and your friends hardly fund the budget up to 20%. Mr. President the local governments across the country are all worsted. Nothing is happening there except desolation and death. We never heard a word from you concerning this; what is transformation?

Now back to your comment that our nation is making progress and you premised that on a 7.1% gross domestic product growth (GDP). With due respect Mr. President, it is not true that there is such a growth and if perchance there were, official corruption eats it all up. You said power supply has improved but most of us could not watch your broadcast due to power outage. Our energy sector is sinking deeper into crisis with fuel scarcity crippling the nation. After 52 years, we cannot exploit our oil, we cannot refine it and we cannot even manage to ship in refined products from other countries. We do not care how you do it but it will be a big shame if you don’t deliver a refinery as you promised, in four years.

Lastly, you said, “we have improved on our investment environment; more corporate bodies are investing in the Nigerian economy… Nigeria has become the preferred investment destination for investment in Africa.” Common Mr. President you sure didn’t say that. You surely do not suggest that all the small, small chop money that desperate Nigerian Diasporans send to their old ladies back home is actually investment? Is it really? If only you could take another look at your favourite word, TRANSFORMATION, ironically, you are actually sitting on the solution to most of our problems.

LAST MUG: Governor Rochas’ reality check: Governor Rochas okorocha of Imo State must be a thoroughly disillusioned man now. He may have completely dissipated the wave of the people’s goodwill upon which he rode to office a short while ago. Last Saturday when Deputy Speaker, Emeka Ihedioha was celebrating his mother, Rochas was actually booed by the same people who thought he was a messiah just a few months ago. That was not the first time; he was recently disgraced in a paliamentary poll in Oguta when his party lost woefully. More worrisome, the dim on the streets of Owerri (by hapless Imolites) is that Ikiri (the queer owl, as the ousted governor Ikedi Ohakim was derisively called), is far better than a born criminal. It’s a pity, if only they knew then, what they know now. Meanwhile Imo State is like a wasteland under the spell of a hurricane.

October 5, 2012