The Nation Newspaper

Category: Tunji Adegboyega

  • Let our rich be

    Let our rich be

    Whatever our rich do, the poor protest: From generators to private aircraft. Now, it is bullet-proof vehicles. What is it?

    I used to think it is only our students that do not rest, be they of the UI of Ibadan, or UI of Lagos, or UI of Ife, Kano or what have you! But no! Our rich too cannot rest. No thanks to our over-pampered but unappreciative hoi polloi a.k.a. the poor masses. In fact, I am beginning to think that our common man is suffering from the Pull Him Down (PHD) or Be As I Am (BAIA) syndrome. The other day, it was about Nigeria being one of the highest importers of generators. Sometime ago, the story changed to our being the country with the highest number of private jets. Just a few weeks back, the poor (as in the poor masses) in the country were angry when it was reported that we were number two in champagne consumption, worldwide. I had to passionately appeal to our President that he should not worry about that disappointing report card; I assured him that our country, in its characteristic fashion, will soon elbow out France, the leading consumer of champagne, so we can get our rightful title in the comity of champagne drunkards. Sure, something must have gone wrong somewhere to put us in the second position. In all these, and in their characteristic soft-heartedness, our rich never lifted a finger. Mum has been the word from them.

    So, what is the bile this time around? They say Nigeria is the largest importer of bullet-proof cars! How is that a problem, except to the poor? Isn’t this a sign of good living? This was a position hitherto enjoyed by Iraq, Afghanistan and Latin American countries. Isn’t it cheery that money is not the problem of our rich but how to spend it? Isn’t it good enough news that we could import this number of armoured vehicles even when we are not in a war situation? And, what, in concrete terms does this boil down to?

    They say in the last few years, about 800 to 900 (only) armoured vehicles have been imported into the country at a cost of about N60billion. Isn’t this chicken change to a major oil-producing country like Nigeria? Apparently one of our great musicians who sang years back that he was only poor; he was not crazy did not know that there is hardly any difference between both. Is it not better for one bullet-proof car to absorb the bullets that some 200 poor people could have been hired to absorb in the course of protecting our rich if our rich are not the considerate and godly type? All the rich have to do is replace the hapless poor with another batch once one batch has been exterminated. You see, a ngba adiye lowo iku, o ni won o je ki oun lo si akitan lo je (whereas we are preventing the chick from death, it is angry that it is not allowed to go looking for food on the dunghill).

    Honestly, I am beginning to lose my temper. And, if I can feel this bad about these unsavoury developments, I can imagine what could be going on in the minds of our big people. I wonder when the poor will ever allow our rich a breather. These are the same rich people that allow our poor, alternatives to whatever they (the rich), enjoy.

    When the rich take tea, the poor take pap. Even the poor acknowledge that both of them are drinking hot water. When the rich travel abroad for medical care, the poor also travel to the village for home-grown solutions to some of their chronic medical challenges. Our poor people have access to Egbesu Boys, Oodua Peoples Congress (OPC) for their security when the rich go for police escorts and expensive body guards. When our rich fly in their private jets, the poor also travel in Keke Marwa, Okada, Molue, Danfo and all. In all these, how many times have we seen the rich giving themselves headache trying to find out how much per annum, the poor spend on pap, or OPC, or Keke Marwa, etc.? As far as the rich are concerned, they are satisfied classifying all these activities of the poor as informal sector of the economy which they cannot lose sleep over. The rich simply don’t care even though many of us believe that there is a lot of money in this informal sector.

    The point is that our common man does not seem to know that people who are mute when pilloried as we are pillorying our rich are the most dangerous. Remember the tale of the man who took the duckling. He had to quickly return it when he told an elder that the mother duck did nothing after he had taken the duckling, and instead picked a chick. The hen reacted violently and the elder said the chicken was better material for pepper soup. I cannot understand the basis of this resentment for our rich; when in actual fact, it should have been the other way round. I mean, it is the rich who should have been wondering of what benefit are the poor beyond just clogging the space and constituting environmental nuisance. The silence of our rich is only not golden; it is also ominous. These are people who have almost all the dossier on the poor at their finger tips but do not care about such inconsequential details.

    But the poor (when the rich buy generator, or exotic cars, exotic wines, or bullet-proof cars) sniff for information on the sum total on each of these items bought by the rich. They do not care if their nostrils gather dust in the process of sniffing for the information. They are so idle that they even compare and contrast and come to the conclusion that the country is first in terms of spending on these expensive items.

    Honestly, these poor people have to be careful. The fact that we have the kind of God-fearing rich people that we have should not be taken for granted. Not all countries are that lucky. The poor here should not overstretch their luck because if these rich people change their mind, the result would be too unpalatable for them to bear. Anyway, in their own interest, the poor should call an emergency meeting where they would elect their executive officers so that we will all know their chairman who we can call (to order) whenever their members misbehave again. Things cannot continue like this. My fear is that if we do not have a leader that the rich can call to account for the misconduct of their members, the rich might one day be tempted to do the ultimate: ask that the poor be wiped out from all parts of the country or be dropped in the lagoon or the nearest Osu River; that mere seeing the poor makes them (the rich) want to throw up. I do not want things to degenerate to this extent.

    Our poor should know that in most other places, whatever the rich do has to be applauded; no matter how silly it may seem. Even our revered Williams Shakespeare attest ed to the fact that the rich and the poor do not belong in the same category when he said: “When beggars die there are no comets seen; The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes”. Have the poor ever seen comets when beggars die? Have they ever seen where the heavens blaze forth the death of their ilk? Please, please, for God’s sake, let our rich be. Rather than be sad that they are doing well, we should be glad and grateful to God for their lives.

    Uneasy lies the head that wears the riches! We cannot leave our rich to the vagaries of the insecurity in the land.

  • Jonathan’s emergency

    Jonathan’s emergency

    The question is no longer whether it will come, but how far it can go

    For once, President Goodluck Jonathan did something, at least within the ambits of the law, with his proclamation of emergency rule in Yobe, Borno and Adamawa states on Tuesday. This was a decision that was even late in coming, given the havoc that Boko Haram has wreaked on the nation. At this point, we have to call a spade a spade, and not just a farming implement. And we shall do just that today.

    If political Boko Haram is real (as I believe it is), perhaps the genesis is in the emergence of President Jonathan as the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) candidate in the 2011 election. I have said it before that I do not believe in zoning; I stand by this. But then, I can say that without the heavens falling because of who I am. Everything may look good on a fowl’s neck, definitely not a rope. A PDP stalwart cannot say this in all honesty because he or she knows that is not the position of their party. So, when the party chiefs did wuruwuru to the answer to prop up the present president as the party’s candidate, saying that zoning was dead or that it never existed, other party chiefs should have cried foul. They didn’t. They should have asked when zoning died in the party; where it died, whether it died of natural or other causes; they should have asked who did the autopsy, or when it was buried, where and other matters. They did nothing of the sort.

    Rather, they slept facing the same side, with the northern political elite that thought it was their natural turn to produce president feeling marginalised. Please do not get me wrong; nothing I have said should be taken to mean that the south-south from where President Jonathan hails did not deserve to produce president at that time; no. As a matter of fact, if any region of the country has been marginalised with respect to the presidential office, it is that region from where the money spent in the country comes. But the process should have been tidier; with the party resolving the issue of zoning long before the election and giving zoning a befitting burial once they agreed that it was time to kill it.

    But what the PDP did with regard to zoning then is the same fraudulent way the country has been run. The only difference in this case is that it hit some of their own, and that is why we cannot sleep with our two eyes closed ever since. It is for this simple reason of dishonesty, among many others, that it will be easier for the camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for this country to make progress. Americans, as permissive as they come, care so much about who they put in leadership positions. If any party did what the PDP got away with here in 2011 in the name of politics in a civilised country, that party may lose votes simply on account of such infidelity over little things. Americans, for instance, would not trust that such a party which can trample on its own clothes would not tear theirs into shreds without batting an eyelid, if voted into office.

    Boko Haram may jolly well be the result of the loss of our moral soul as a people. But it is also a case of thunder aiding the bomb. If the northern economy has not been as bad as it is, that is, if the northern leaderships in the past had done the needful to lift their people from poverty, there may not have been a ready army of suicide bombers that would want to die over nothing. If the people had received the right education, they would not have been as ignorant as they are to want to lose their lives in anticipation of the privilege of enjoying some beautiful virgins if they die in the course of whatever they are fighting for. They would have known that this world is too sweet to depart so soon, and that some of the best of the beautiful virgins fthat they are rushing to heaven to enjoy are theirs just for the asking right here on earth. As a matter of fact, it is in the north that some of these virgins are already being enjoyed, considering the number of under-aged girls put in the family way in the name of early marriage. So, if the men are not having the desired sensation, it is probably because they are not allowing the virgins to ripe before plucking them. With a little patience, these virgins will be ripe and mature with age, and with the appropriate tantalising statistics for the believers in the heavenly virgins to enjoy right here on earth, and without any blood on their hands!

    It seems the northern elite know that they are responsible for this whirlwind that the country is paying for, hence their inability to openly condemn Boko Haram but would rather speak from both sides of the mouth when talking about the sect. The only unfortunate thing is that the sinners responsible for this crisis are not suffering as much as the innocents. If we have reaped more bloodshed in the Jonathan presidency, it is as a result of that little unfaithfulness. May be the president himself realised this, hence, his being slow to come up with emergency rule in the troubled states. But if some people support him now that he has proclaimed emergency, it is not because they are unaware of this fact; it is just that they know it is better to first drive away the thief before telling the owner of the stolen property that he too did not keep his property well.

    As a matter of fact, there does not seem to be any alternative, especially as the insurgents have rejected amnesty. It was only in those days when we still had our sanity intact that a thief would run away if pursued; these days, the thief would turn round to challenge the owner of the stolen property and get some of the best senior advocates to argue his case. Emergency rule is good to the extent that it is able to achieve its aim of bringing about peace in the affected states. This is a sine qua non for meaningful development.

    But, should there be any Nigerian who thinks power will last forever in any part of the country as it was in the past; that is wishful thinking. And, should there be people behind this mindless orgy of violence in the country, such people will pay dearly for the shedding of innocent blood just to make cheap political points. The mere fact that they had this power which they never used well in the past, leading to where we are today, is enough to convict them in heaven and on earth for the innocent blood they are causing to be shed daily, needlessly.

    However, President Jonathan must honour his promise that the wolves in human skin that delight in killing human beings will not go unpunished. I have said it several times that when a leader speaks, his words are like those of the oracle. On this score, I am with the President. But when the handshake is getting below the elbow again, it would be ‘to thy tent, Oh Israel’! The fear of many is that the emergency rule is a step towards full blown dictatorship. Given where we are coming from, that fear is both real and potent.

  • Jonathan for life!

    Jonathan for life!

    Dokubo is a minimalist; our president deserves more than second term

     

    Do you want peace or war”? That was the tactless question asked in a crisis situation by the principal of the federal school where I did my two-year Advance Level programme years back. Of course, trust students; the answer was predictable. It was a tumultuous “Yes, we want war; we want war”. And, in no time, the school was literally on fire. Policemen were called in and before the end of the day, the school was closed down and the students sent home.

    I recalled this incident as a result of the threat by former militant, Asari Dokubo, to the effect that willy-nilly, Nigerians must return President Goodluck Jonathan in 2015 if they want peace in the country. If they do otherwise, then, the militants in the Niger Delta who are presently on sabbatical would be forced to return to the creeks. “The day Goodluck is no longer the President; all of us who are on sabbatical will come back. There will be no peace not only in the Niger Delta but everywhere. If they say it is an empty boast, let them wait and see,” said Dokubo, who as leader of the Niger Delta Peoples Volunteer Force (NDPVF) coordinated a campaign of violence in the oil producing areas. Dokubo spoke just a week after President Jonathan’s adviser on amnesty, Mr. Kingsley Kuku, was reported to have said in the United States that chaos would set in unless Jonathan was re-elected. Kuku has said he was misquoted though. Dokubo said he was reiterating Kuku’s prediction of “dire consequences” if the President is not re-elected in 2015. He even sounded a note of warning to our Senate to perish the thought of introducing a six-year single term for president, which would preclude Jonathan from running in 2015.

    We owe Dokubo a world of gratitude for giving us the option of choosing between peace and war, instead of taking us by surprise. I can assure him that the rats at home have heard and would communicate the message to the ones in the bush. Unlike those of us in the federal school then, Nigerians are not students; they are peace-loving people, a thing many of their leaders have often exploited to their (Nigerians’) disadvantage. With Dokubo waving both the stick and the carrot (the stick should they fail to return Jonathan for a second term, and the carrot should they return the president come 2015), I know Nigerians will opt for the carrot. Indeed, that is what they should do if they like themselves and if they are not to show themselves as ingrates. What else do you do for a president who has remained true to character, a man who has served the country diligently and meritoriously in so short a period, thus confirming the aphorism that it is not how long but how well? Indeed, I doubt if any right-thinking Nigerian would oppose life presidency for our amiable and able president.

    What is particularly painful is that many people who have criticised Dokubo have not even given any serious thought to his reasons. When we examine these, we would see that at some point, Dokubo was making sense. Remember that expression and the person who popularised it after the annulment of the June 12, 1993 election by Ibrahim Babangida? First, Dokubo has told us something we never knew; that Nigeria is at peace today not because of amnesty granted former Niger Delta militants by the late President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua but because President Jonathan, a ‘son of the soil’, is President. In the light of this ‘revelation’, one should be wondering what nexus exists between Dokubo and Kuku and, by extension, why the latter is still being paid from the public till if a militant kingpin is now telling us that he has sheathed his swords not because of amnesty but because Jonathan is one of their own. And, in case such people have forgotten, he reminded them that he rejected amnesty because he is not a criminal. So, those touting the amnesty programme as having succeeded had better have a rethink.

    Second, Dokubo said Jonathan is holding the post for the Niger Delta region and that the region, like other regions that have had a shot at the presidency, is entitled to eight years. Are you wondering where performance is in all these? Please stop wondering, for Dokubo reinforced his point by stating that Jonathan has performed better than previous governments. Again, can you fault him? Even if it is a case of the country of the blind where the one-eyed man is king, Dokubo has floored those who see the Jonathan presidency as incompetent. More fundamentally, Dokubo’s conclusion is pardonable when we remember our class on selective exposure, selective perception and selective retention, meaning you see only what you want to see, interpret it the way it suits you and also decide whether to retain it in your memory or delete it. Even a local saying in my place has it that what is facing someone is backing someone else. So, on all fronts, including street and local wisdom, Dokubo is right: Jonathan’s government is better than previous ( I guess, PDP) governments!

    As a matter of fact, I have even heard some people are wondering whether it was the same Dokubo who only a few months back, criticised Jonathan’s government and doubted his re-election in 2015 unless he removed some elements from his government, that has changed position, when the president has not carried out any such reorganisation that would have weeded out the irritants and pollutants. “The President has allowed himself to be imprisoned by some greedy individuals. His goodwill will soon go and that will affect his second term chances,” he had said. Well, that is a fact of life; no condition is permanent. Life itself is dynamic. What is perceived to be black today can suddenly turn to white tomorrow in the face of fresh ‘developments’. If you like you might begin to link Dokubo’s volte-face to the billion naira contracts that the Jonathan government gave him; that, as former President Olusegun Obasanjo said, ‘na yo toro’ (that is your business).

    Still on contracts, I hear the Oodua Peoples Congress (OPC) too is gearing up for a piece of the action. There are reported rumblings in the ‘OOdua house’, with one factional leader allegedly threatening to throw out the other. When such threats are made, we should know what is speaking. Two things normally cause friction between two good old friends – women and money. In the Oodua case, women cannot be an issue because there is more than enough to go round. It has to be money then because, one, it is the root of all evil and second, it is one thing that is hardly enough. No matter how rich people already are, they still want more money.

    But who will blame Oodua for quickly keying into this lucrative and ‘legitimate industry’ in Nigeria? All you need to qualify for the windfall is ability to cause chaos, render the security agencies ineffective and sustain it for a long time, and you are in business. Levels will suddenly change and your statement of account will cease to be a source of sorrow and disappointment to you. Indeed, once you hit it big in that ‘sector’ which is fast gaining ascendancy in the Jonathan era, it is the bank managing directors who have to catch cold whenever you sneeze.

    It is in the light of all these that I want to set the ball of congratulations rolling for President Jonathan in advance, for his well deserved victory in the 2015 elections. With his kinsman, Dokubo, a former but not tired militant declaring war if the president is not re-elected in the election, the coast is as good as clear for President Jonathan to start preparing his acceptance speech for the Dokubo assured victory. The gods of this era have spoken. Militants, terrorists now rule the waves.

  • Champagne champions

    Champagne champions

    Nigeria, as this paper noted in an editorial last week, is indeed a huge theatre of the absurd. Or, how else do you explain our being the second largest champagne market, globally? Is it not strange that in a country where poverty is the hallmark of millions of faces, we still could find space for champagne to the point that we are number two among nations that consume it?

    Of course to get to this position, the country coughs up N41billion to finance the importation of this luxury; thanks to Euromonitor International which made the revelation. According to it, between 2006 and 2011, we achieved a compound annual growth of 22 percent in champagne consumption. Indeed, total champagne consumption reached 752,879 bottles (75cl) in 2011, higher than consumption in Russia and Mexico; therefore, placing Nigeria among the top 20 champagne markets in the world. Meanwhile, our Minister of National Planning, Dr Shamsudeen Usman has just told us that our dream (pipe dream?) of attaining one of the best 20 economies in the world by 2020 is no longer attainable.

    According to the Euromonitor International data, in 2010, Nigeria consumed about 593,000 bottles, the highest in Africa. The closest to this figure was South Africa’s 384,000 bottles. Like Nigeria, South Africa is another emerging market for luxury goods.

    “Nigerian champagne consum-ption is quite big,” says Charles Armand de Belenet, global marketing and communications director, at Pernod’s GH Mumm and Perrier Jouet Champagne brands, saying “we are building our network here and it is one of the most attractive places for us at the moment.” Mind you, manufacturing ventures are leaving Nigeria in droves; Michelin has gone, Dunlop has left, almost all the textile industries have become history. But champagne producers can find space to build network here?

    It is only the European markets that might have been taking by surprise that Nigeria could rank that high in global champagne consumption. As a matter of fact, Nigeria was not on their minds for the period 2011-2016. Countries like France (which tops the list), followed by United Kingdom, Brazil and China as well as the United States and the upbeat Australian market were the ones listed. “However, what did come as a surprise was Nigeria’s second place in these global rankings,” says Spiros Malandrakis, senior alcoholic drinks analyst at Euromonitor International, in a keynote presentation at the 2012 Champagne Assembly held in London.

    Obviously, they did not reckon with the proclivity of the Nigerian rich for ostentatious lifestyle; but Nigerians would not have been surprised by the findings because they know their rich like they do the lines on their palms. Rose champagne is sold for N77, 000, while Demi-set brand is N55, 000 per bottle. Krug and Crystal brands fall among the most expensive, with a bottle going for N165, 000 and N275, 000, respectively. But this is chicken change to many Nigerian rich, (never mind that minimum wage is about N18, 000 per month) most with inexplicable sources of the wealth they flaunt.

    The good news is that knowing our rich for what they are, the demand for such luxury can only rise; backward never. Whatever negative things our rich do, they try to excel. So, the champagne thing is just a confirmation of this.

    But make no mistake about it; it is not only the rich that drink like fish here. As you know, for every drink that the white man brought, we have our local equivalents. So, while our rich go for expensive brands like champagne, the not-so-rich also go for red wines, beer and stout, the same way the (so-called) poor also comfort themselves with ogogoro, burukutu, kanin kanin, our local brews that have been given all manner of names like te nle ana (get disgraced in your in-law’s place), etc. The rich drink champagne to show they are up there; but the poor are probably drinking in order to put their sorrow behind them. In other words, they drink and relax when all else has failed. Of course, as the ‘happiest people on earth’ that we are, we can afford to drink away our sorrows. That is why our breweries keep posting billions in profit annually. This is indication that their products are still selling in spite of the objections by some of our religions, particularly Christianity and Islam which believe it is ‘haram’ (sinful) to take alcoholic drinks.

    Indeed, that reminds me of something I almost forgot; it will be interesting to see the champagne consumption pattern across the regions. This is necessary in view of the widespread belief that few people consume alcoholic drinks in the northern part of the country. It will also be interesting to see if the Boko Haram kingpins drink champagne as well or whether, like Western education, champagne is also sinful. I recall that many years ago when I was on national service in Yola, then Gongola State, many big men who came for some of my youth corps female colleagues drank (alcoholic drinks) like fish. But they had a way of disguising what they were drinking because the drinks were poured from kettles similar to the ones they used to pray. The research into this matter must be thorough because I do not want anyone to call dog monkey for me. What I am saying is that I do not want to be told that what the big people in the north drink is non-alcoholic champagne because those who drink champagne do so not just as status symbol but also for the effect of its alcoholic content. What else could have been the attraction in procuring dizziness if not to make one dizzy?

    But I am still wondering why the adverts have not started pouring in congratulating our president for this feat that is happening in his time. Could it be that those to place the adverts are waiting for us to clinch the first position? But that is only a matter of time; France will soon lose that position to its rightful owner, Nigeria. Then it’ll be ours for keeps. Nigerian Big Men (and Women) hate being beaten in such contest.

    I hope someday, someone would do a survey again (the Late Chief Gani Fawehinmi compiled something like that before his death, but we need an update all the same) on Nigerian leaders’ trips abroad, whether in the quest for foreign investors (in a country where there is no power and security cannot be guaranteed), or for medical tourism or, worse still, for money laundering, I have no doubt again that Nigeria will retain its first position.

    On a last note, please join me in dancing to this song by one of our musicians of old:

    Ma mu ‘ti laye nbi (2ce)

    Bo ya won ki mu lorun,

    Ma mu ti laye nbi

    Bo ya won ki mu lorun,

    Ma muti laye nbi.

     

    Which other song could be more befitting for a country having its eyes on the trophy as the largest consumer of champagne than this which translates: ‘I will drink in this world, whether they don’t drink in heaven, I will drink on planet earth!’ Congrats in advance, Nigeria, champagne champions

     

  • Amaechi in the eye of the storm

    Amaechi in the eye of the storm

    Governor Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers State is a human being, and can therefore do wrong. Only God is infallible. But one thing that no one can deny, friend or foe, is that the governor is working hard in the right direction to improve the lot of his people.

    I was in Port Harcourt with a colleague in August 2011 to interview him. The governor has left no one in doubt that he knows where the shoe pinches and is prepared to apply the needed soothing balm. Some of his policies may be unpopular, like the banning of ‘Okada’ in the state, but then, many other states have followed suit, a confirmation that ‘Okada’ not only demeans our people but has sent too many to the grave prematurely, just as it has rendered many invalid. For sure, I did not agree entirely with some of the views the governor expressed during the interview. For instance, I disagreed with his view on the contentious fuel subsidy, which was the view of many of his colleagues (that subsidy must go and all that). But you could notice in him the passion of a man in a hurry to bring development to his state.

    Rivers State, like most other Niger Delta states is oil rich; but unlike most of those states, the richness is only beginning to translate into physical development in the state, years after the people last witnessed such development in the Diette Spiff administration. Without doubt, Amaechi’s achievements in the areas of education, road construction, power supply and even security, have stood him out as a beacon of hope in the south-south. It has been said often that human memory is too short. This may be true; but not so with the people of Rivers State who cannot easily forget how they used to raise their hands in Port Harcourt streets to show that they were not bearing arms. That was when armed robbers and other criminals held sway. All that is now history, with Amaechi partnering with the state police command to nib in the bud their illegal activities.

    Many of us who still remember the story of how he became governor would realise that he is governor because it had been so ordained. Left to the powers-that-be then, to wit, President Olusegun Obasanjo, Amaechi would not have been governor. As a matter of fact, his file had been closed by President Obasanjo who then acted God and declared Amaechi’s candidacy as having ‘k-leg’. It was by divine intervention that Amaechi met with favour in the courts and he was pronounced governor, thus becoming the first governor in the country who never contested any election!

    The same Amaechi before whom President Obasanjo built a wall of Jericho on his path to the State House in Port Harcourt is now midway into his second term. This should be instructive. Interestingly, he is in the midst of a fresh turbulence. Although the governor keeps giving the impression that all is well between him and President Goodluck Jonathan (that is the way it is in Nigeria; here, you don’t even disagree with the president, not to talk of fight him), that does not agree with public perception. However, while both of them are entitled to the phony jolly good fellow relations, the question that readily begs for answer in the public domain is: why would any political party want to rubbish one of its best? Before our very eyes, we have seen the ruling party (in particular) in cozy relations with all kinds of characters, even granting presidential pardon to a common thief; yet, that party is having a running battle with one of its best. Why? Before we know what is happening, that party would throw its ‘Worst 11’ forward and expect Nigerians to vote for them. That has been our problem since God-knows-when. Alhaji Shehu Shagari was forced on us when there were better candidates in the north that could have worn the presidential shoes. Obasanjo imposed an ailing Umaru Yar’Adua on us, and supported him with Goodluck Jonathan. See where we are. Will Obasanjo in retrospect and in good conscience say he has done the best for this country in this regard?

    Amaechi’s brush with the president has not just begun. As a matter of fact, as far back as August 2010, he has had a brush with the President’s wife, Patience Jonathan over the primary school being built in Okrika by the Amaechi administration. The governor told her that he had asked the local government chairman to contact owners of land around the school so the houses would be bought and demolished to enable children learn in a conducive environment, without distraction. Mrs. Jonathan was angry that the governor was using ‘must’ when he should be having dialogue with the Okrika people because land is a serious matter in Okrikaland. She may have a point there about consultation, but where is land not a serious issue in Nigeria?

    But madam was too annoyed over this issue that affects her people that she forgot she is First Lady of the country and not that of Okrikaland; she left the state which she was visiting in annoyance, leading to the cancellation of other engagements. Obviously, the president could not have been happy over such a development.

    There was also the issue of the Soku/Oluasiri oil fields that caused friction between the Presidency and the governor late last year. Although the Presidency quickly intervened to make the matter look like one between Governor Seriake Dickson of Bayelsa State and Governor Amaechi, it was clear that the hands could have been those of Esau, but the voice was Jacob’s. If anyone was in doubt that the Presidency was involved, a press statement by the Bayelsa State Commissioner for Information, Markson Fefegha, dispelled an earlier statement by the Rivers State government that accused the Presidency of mischief as disrespectful, insulting and smacks of arrogance. So, who is fooling whom?

    As far as I am concerned, there is but one mind in the President and the PDP chairman, Bamanga Tukur, and it is bent against Amaechi. In this kind of struggle, Governor Amaechi should know that no weapon is prohibited, provided there is the ‘federal might’ cover. As it happened in Bayelsa State with former Governor Timipre Sylva, the war might be fought from all fronts – on land, on air, on the sea, etc. It is the kind of fight in which anything, anything, not excluding deploying the teeth (biting) if that is what would make him capitulate. That was why, a few months back, the party leadership tried to whittle down his power as Chairman of the Nigerian Governors Forum (NGF), by sponsoring the PDP Governors Forum headed by their anointed Godswill Akpabio.

    We must, without doubt, be having some idea about the kind of candidates that the ruling party would throw forward for the 2015 elections. One would have thought that a President Jonathan who has directed his party to bring in more states in the 2015 elections would put forward the party’s ‘First 11’ and showcase some of its best, because, bad as the PDP is, it still has a few persons that know what they are doing. But we have always had the misfortune of having governors and other leaders who met treasuries empty and left them empty.

     

  • Boston bombings: Obama for third term

    Boston bombings: Obama for third term

    Did you hear the US president speak? How did you feel?

    In an emergency like the Boston bombings of April 15, one should naturally feel sad that some demented minds could go to the extent that the bombers went, either to settle scores, or for whatever reason. One wonders what point they wanted to make, and whether the victims were supposed to be their targets. Some say that is the way of terrorists. Even if I grudgingly concede that to them, I cannot understand why governments have to be caught napping all of the times in such emergencies, and we then have a situation where it seems there is no one in control; or at best, that it is the terrorists that are in charge. Since the world is now a global village, I was privileged, like millions of others all over the world, to watch the Boston bombings almost live, as well as the reactions of the relevant authorities in the United States to the ugly incident. One cannot but be reflective about the way the tragedy was handled. There was no undue panic; first responders – police at all levels, emergency workers and all, did their job admirably. It was as if they had been expecting the blasts.

    But, perhaps the most fascinating thing about it all, to me, was the way President Barack Obama responded to the crisis. I am not an American. Yet, when, on Monday we were told that Obama was going to address the press on the incident, I was resolute not to go to bed until I have heard him speak. Millions of other Nigerians did same. Despite the fact that we were far from the scene of the bombings, we were still interested in what the US president had to say. Obama was pregnant and we were anxious to see what he would give birth to. After such an incident, any American president would be. And it was almost certain Obama was going to say things one could connect with.

    We were not disappointed. In just three minutes or so, Obama was done; he had said all that needed to be said: We cannot say where this is coming from, at least immediately, and what the motive could be. Compare this with the 2010 bombing in Abuja in which 12 people were killed. Hardly had the crime been committed than our President, Goodluck Jonathan, came out to say who the criminals could not have been. It has turned out that that same person who heads the militants the president vouched for is now serving jail term in South Africa for the crime.

    Then, Obama sympathised with the victims and their relatives. Finally, he assured that America would not rest until those responsible for the crime had been brought to book. Obama might not have used our ‘gazette’ expression: ‘We are on top of the situation’, but Americans knew their government was ‘on top of the situation’. And coming from a man with Obama’s pedigree, there was enough assurance that the evil doers would not go unpunished. Americans believe him; they know that when their president promises, he delivers. It is only a matter of time; those responsible for the bombings would be unmasked and made to pay for their crime. As we write, suspects are being trailed. This is the kind of thing that gives hope to the citizenry and makes them take their government seriously.

    Even before that short but great address, you could see a business-like Obama. His mood depicted the magnitude of the pains he was going through. Three Americans killed and over 150 others injured in a single incident was just too many. As he sat with two officials in the White House monitoring developments, none of them made the mistake of smiling, not to talk of laughing. I do not know how many people noticed this. In Nigeria, you must see some top government officials laughing in the midst of such calamity. If you doubt me, check your record. Each time I see such a thing, I ask myself: Oh God, why are we like this? But I quickly adjust when I remember that we have been adjudged the ‘happiest people on earth’. So, there is nothing wrong even if we express pleasant feeling wherever and whenever, as if we have inhaled an overdose of laughing gas.

    Again, when Obama delivered his speech at an interfaith service at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross in Boston on Thursday, a speech described by the Business Insider as ‘both solemn and uplifting’, he left no one in doubt that he is not a president that is prepared to be delivering such graveside orations all the time; rather, it was a terse warning to the criminals, the “small, stunted individuals” responsible for Monday’s bombings at the Boston marathon: “Yes, we will find you. And yes, you will face justice, Obama said. And he meant it.

    When he described Boston in personal tones, you could still find the panache of a president in control; when he waxed philosophical, you will still notice the confidence of a president who is truly in charge. When he gave hope, Americans believed him: “you can bet” the 118th Boston Marathon will be run next year on Patriot’s Day.”We may be momentarily knocked off our feet, but we’ll pick ourselves up. We’ll keep going. We’ll finish the race,” Obama said. His words are like an oracle’s; because it is almost certain the event will hold as he promised if Christ tarried in coming. There is a great world of difference when a leader assures his people that all is well, yet that leader holds himself up somewhere, while asking the led to ‘go about their lawful duties’. Those who went on such ‘lawful duties’ and lost their lives and limbs to Boko Haram are not likely to benefit anything when the terrorists get their own pill, amnesty.

    When Obama went to Boston, he had no cause to remind the people that he did not have to be there. If he ever had such slip of tongue, both he and his party are finished; pure and simple, because votes count in America. He knew it was his responsibility to be there, to see things for himself, comfort the victims, and condole with the relatives of the dead. That was part of the reasons why Americans elected him; they need someone on whose shoulders to lean on in emergencies. It is not all about balls and foreign policy. Charity must begin at home. Obama’s speech in Boston was commended even by failed presidential candidate Mitt Romney who described it as ‘superb’.

    Perhaps the most annoying thing is that in spite of the fact that Obama has done so well, it has not occurred to anyone in America to call for third term for him. Here, sycophants sing the praise of lazy people, many of whom by incomprehensible means of fortune find themselves in positions of authority, and start promoting them for more terms even before they complete the first year in their first term. President Jonathan has just given his Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) a marching order to ‘bring into the party’s kitty 32 of the 36 states in the country in 2015; that is nine more than the party presently controls. The first question that readily comes into mind is what makes the president think he is such a particularly attractive product. What can the president point at as his achievements to make him the toast of Nigerians in the 2015 elections?

    Obviously, the PDP is like the person who is counting billions in his dream, he had better be told to work harder so that he would not die of hunger. But the president and his PDP can keep on dreaming. After all, dreams are free; but votes are sacred.

    Second term! Second term!!

  • In Nigeria, the Lord is (truly) our shepherd

    In Nigeria, the Lord is (truly) our shepherd

    Its seems govt is merely paying lip service to improving police force

    If God cannot go on strike, Nigeria must be one strong reason why. Indeed, if God goes on strike, then we are doomed in this country. What I am saying is that if the Lord has not been for us, the country’s security situation would have been worse. I said this because, in spite of pious statements of commitment to improving our police force by the Federal Government, these statements, unlike effective demand, do not seemed backed by the required action, given the unsavoury reports coming out about the force in recent times; from the Channels expose on the Police College in Ikeja, Lagos, to the ridiculous posting of police personnel to far-flung places without making any provision for them in those stations.

    But, a report in Daily Trust of April 8, merely confirmed why all these are happening. Headlined “Police stations run on less than N2,000 daily’ – Senator. According to the report, quoting Senator Gyang Pwajok (PDP, Plateau North), the police force remains grossly underfunded such that some police stations and divisions do not even get as much as N2,000 a day. Let’s hear him: “In the 2013 budget, for instance, the police force has a total vote of N300billion. Of that amount, N293billion is for recurrent expenditure like salaries for the more than 400,000 police personnel. It is from the balance of N8 billion that the 1,115 police divisions, 5,515 police stations and 5,000 police posts are run”. Before President Goodluck Jonathan characteristically wonders how Senator Pwajok ‘penetrated’ the force to get these figures, it is pertinent to say that what the senator did was simply to divide the N8 billion among these police formations; and it is this that translates to about N2,000 per day or less.

    I am going to quote the senator extensively, not for lack of a better way to paraphrase what he said, but because sometimes, it is better to hear from the horse’s mouth Senator Pwajok should know, as a member of the country’s upper legislative chamber. From his statements, Nigerians can now understand why policemen in some stations ask them to bring their biros and paper to write statements in the police stations. So, when next you have the (mis)fortune of going to a police station and the policemen there behave in an unfriendly manner (despite the fact that they are said to be our friend), you have to bear with them. The fault is probably not in them; but in the system that we are all guilty of not being in a hurry to change.

    Senator Pwajok added : “I think we have the qualified personnel to do the job, but the Nigerian system has failed the force because we do not give them what they require to excel…. A police station is expected to source intelligence report and ensure effective communication between teams on the field and those in the offices’. ‘The station officer is also expected to get informants and fund them. He is also expected to ensure the smooth and speedy movement of men and materials from one point of need to the other. No one can do that on N2, 000’.

    ’It is the least funded of the security outfits. The office of the National Security Adviser has about 100 advisory officers, but it has a vote of N100billion in the 2013 budget. The police force is wider but is not considered for such effective funding’. Senator Pwajok is not done, ‘From the 2013 budget, the nation spends an average of N1.6million annually on a soldier, N9.8million on a sailor and N7.1million on the air force man or woman; but spends N0.078million per police personnel… In effect, the running cost of each naval staff is equal to that of 12 policemen, while each airman is nine times as important as a policeman’. How can we sleep with our two eyes closed in this kind of situation?

    I hear the Police College in Ikeja is now wearing a new look, barely weeks after the damning Channels Television story that depicts the rot in the place. Now, the questions: has the government released new funds to refurbish the college? Or, were those supposed to act woken up from inertia by the story? Where has the money now being spent on the college been stuck all this while? Could it be that some people would have ‘chopped’ it if Channels had not spilled the beans? These are questions that would be making the rounds in saner countries where people are shocked when the issue is fraud or corruption.

    Be that as it may, what is needed most is not necessarily the rending of the clothes but rending of the heart. The environment has to look good, no doubt; but beyond that is the welfare of the police officers undergoing training in those colleges. How many policemen and women in training now share one fish head? Water is a basic necessity; are the young men and women on training still going across the Mobolaji Bank-Anthony Way in Ikeja to fetch water? I feel somehow seeing them dash across the popular road, which also leads to the local airport, in their green shorts and white vests, with buckets of water on their heads. This in Lagos; and in the twenty-first century!

    For me, Pwajok’s revelations have opened more cans of worms than the several seminars and symposiums that have been held on the police force. What they simply tell us is that we have been deceiving ourselves about improving police welfare. We know what the problem is yet we have been beating about the bush, wasting money on seminars and workshops ostensibly to improve the force.

    David, the psalmist, must have had Nigerians in mind when he composed Psalms like 27, 46 and 91. And it is these I recommend to our people whenever they are going to bed at night. And, when they wake up in the morning in one piece, they should not forget to read Psalm 23 before venturing out of their homes. The Lord, indeed, is our shepherd.

  • Still on ‘The Faleye metaphor’

    Last week, I carried the pathetic story of a young Nigerian, Oluseun Samuel Faleye who is studying electronics and telecommunications engineering in Shenyang Aerospace University (SAU), in China, on this page. He had obtained his diploma at the Nigeria College of Aviation Technology, Zaria, and proceeded to the Chinese university for his degree programme. Those who read the piece last Sunday would have seen the sequence of events that led to his being stranded just about four months to the end of his degree programme. His programme ends in July; but the efforts of the last20 months in China might be in vain unless he is able to get about N1million needed to complete his course.

    As a matter of fact, the money must have increased as we speak because I gathered his visa expired at the end of last month and this means an additional N9,000 per day, since the policy in China is ‘no school fees, no visa’. This means an additional N277,500 per month until and unless he is able to pay the fees.

    This recap is necessary for two reasons: first, because of the seriousness of the matter and second, for the sake of readers who felt I should have left an account number in Nigeria where people touched by the young man’s plight could give their widow’s mite. All the contacts I gave last week were in China so that those who might want to verify the genuineness of the case could easily do so. We thank the professor who set the ball rolling by giving N100,000 to alleviate Faleye’s plight. His name and other donors will be made public at the appropriate time, unless they choose to be anonymous. You want to help? Please pay into the following account numbers: Samson Adewole Faleye, A/C No. 3027450379 First Bank, or Samson Adewole Faleye, A/C No. 0112611856, GTB. Thank you.

  • The Faleye metaphor

    The Faleye metaphor

    A young Nigerian’s educational dream is about being aborted due to lack of funds

    When Oluseun Samuel Faleye received his letter of admission into Shenyang Aerospace University (SAU) in China in September, 2011, to study electronics and telecommunications engineering, in furtherance of his course at the Nigeria College of Aviation Technology, Zaria, his joy and that of his parents knew no bounds. Faleye had in 2011 concluded his diploma programme at the Nigerian College of Aviation Technology, Zaria, which on March 30 of the same year signed a memorandum of understanding with SAU for the purpose of admitting the college’s products for a two-year degree programme.

    His father, Chief S.A. Faleye, had in a letter of consent to the consular-general in the Chinese Embassy in Lagos, undertaken to take full responsibility for the payment of his school fees and any other financial involvement, before things started going awry. Any parent would not have thought twice before consenting to such a project. Prior to the signing of the MOU with the Chinese university, products of the Nigeria College of Aviation Technology used to secure employment with the airlines or other aviation agencies with their diploma certificates. Faleye had hoped to get a job after the Zaria training.

    However, a new policy which made it mandatory for those of them from the Zaria college seeking employment in the aviation agencies to have first degree came into being at about the time Faleye was leaving the college. This apparently informed the college’s decision to sign the MOU with the Chinese university so that the diploma holders would be able to go there for their first degree programme.

    Faleye and his colleagues were thus in a quagmire, as none of those agencies employed the Zaria college’s diploma holder after that policy too k off; at least initially. It was after he had stayed at home for about a year doing nothing that his parents decided to fulfill all righteousness: if what would get him employment was obtaining the first degree in the Chinese university with which the college had signed an MOU, so be it. So, they pulled resources together to ensure that their investment on their son in the aviation college would not be in vain.

    Unfortunately for him, it was after he had left for China that some of the aviation agencies changed their mind and recruited some of his colleagues. Unfortunately too, for him, things did not go as planned as they sometimes don’t. The projection of raising the about N4million needed for the school fees soon got derailed. And that is the challenge that Faleye is facing right now in China. As a matter of fact, his father, in his 70s, had to sell a few properties to ensure he completes his studies.

    His programme which commenced in 2011 is supposed to end in July, just three months away. But Faleye, the last child of his parents, is in a quagmire: he is not sure of concluding the programme due to the financial challenges he is currently facing. About N1million is standing between him and the conclusion of his programme. If help does not come, all the investments in China since 2011 when he secured admission into the college would go down the drain.

    When he realised the precarious situation in which he is, he managed to secure a teaching job in China. But that country is a no-nonsense country, they quickly stopped him because, as they said, the job is for their citizens. As things stand, Faleye is willing and ready to enter into agreement with any individual, corporate organisation or institution that is ready to offer assistance, on how the money would be repaid.

    As a matter of fact, he is even contemplating deferring his course and returning home if it gets to that, at least pending when things improve, but he does not even have the means to transport himself back. That shows how tight things are. The story is too long to be captured here; but, this, essentially is the message.

    Sadly, Faleye is probably not alone in this kind of an avoidable mess. One shudders at the number of our youths who are in dire straits and could have their fortune reversed simply because no one cares for them. The point is that Nigeria cares about no one in particular. It cannot pay pension to old people. It cannot ensure that its youths get access to good and qualitative education, and even when the youths manage to find their way, they are left hard and dry in the middle of nowhere if they suddenly run out of funds.

    The sadder aspect is that most of those who’ climbed the ladder before removing it’ as it were (those who are now making things difficult for others today) benefited from one scholarship or government sponsorship or the other in their school days. They had the best of life in and out of school; many of their children enjoyed the same opportunities too. One would think the government should have some ‘crutches’ for people in Faleye’s shoes, some shoulder to lean on; unfortunately, the government thinks otherwise. Rather than put money where it has meaning, the government is pumping money into private businesses which the owners ran aground, in the name of bailouts. We have had these in the agricultural sector; we have had it in the textiles sector; we have even had it in the aviation sector which the government is threatening once again to give another round, in spite of the failure and ridiculous allegations that trailed the last bailout in that sector. It is not that bailouts are inherently bad; the problem in our circumstance is that, like most things Nigerian, they are abused and no one is punished for such abuses. As a matter of fact, bailout in Nigeria has become euphemism for doling out government money even to those who already have, to do as they please, when there are people out there genuinely in need of money but cannot have it.

    The course that Faleye is studying that is about to be truncated at the ninety-ninth hour due to lack of funds, electronics and telecommunications engineering, is one that should be hot cake in the country. It is a course that any country with vision should be interested in.

    Although Faleye is the reason for this piece, the point should not be lost on us, and particularly the governments at all levels, to begin to address in concrete terms the challenges that leave our serious-minded youths stranded, whether at home, or, worse still, in foreign lands, in pursuit of the proverbial golden fleece. This is the only thing that can check the inequity and iniquities in the system and also ensure that we all are able to sleep with our two eyes closed when tomorrow comes.

    But, if you are touched and feel like helping, please contact Samuel Oluseun Faleye on phone number +8615040317741. Better still, you may wish to contact Richard Chen, the Dean of International Education College, Shenyang Aerospace University, 37, Daoyi South Avenue, Daoyi Development District, Shenyang, China, 110136 or phone 8624 89724578.

  • The dem say, dem say governor

    The dem say, dem say governor

    Bayelsa governor has added something new to media lexicon

    Many students of Mass Communication, University of Lagos, taught by Prof Ralph Akinfeleye would remember the book, Essentials of Modern African Journalism: a Premier, authored by the lecturer. In it, Prof Akinfeleye talked about different kinds of journalism. Akinfeleye talked, for instance, of ‘Journalism of Next-of-Kin’, ‘Cocktail Journalism’, ‘Journalism of’ Gin and Lime’ and Journalism of the General Order’. All, I guess, are self-explanatory. To these four, however, Governor Seriake Dickson of Bayelsa State has added a fifth: dem say, dem say journalism. I must confess it is after this ‘invention’ that I am beginning to be convinced that the Bayelsa State governor is highly resourceful. Even Prof Akinfeleye must be wondering why in all his decades of teaching and talking mass communication, it never occurred to him that such journalism should be listed in his book, in spite of its prevalence in our clime. Your Excellency, I doff my hat!

    As a matter of fact, doffing my hat can never be enough in this situation, because, as a Bayelsan, the governor himself has all kinds of hats and he must have seen many people doff all manner of hats for him. What, in my view should be adequate compensation for this erudition on the part of His Excellency is for Prof Akinfeleye to return, as a matter of urgency, to his publishers for a more recent edition of the book, to accommodate the all-important addition by the governor, while readers must be ready to grab their copies, NOW! Indeed, those of us who graduated based on only what Prof Akinfeleye wrote in his book should be recalled and made to ‘repeat’ the course, to see if we have taken note of Governor Dickson’s contribution. Journalism scholars and students alike worldwide owe His Excellency a world of gratitude for this creativity. Imagine what we have been missing until now that the governor woke us from our academic slumber to this ‘local content’, a thing we have been trying to achieve in all spheres of life without success. This is such a serious matter that I would have loved to prevail on the University of Lagos (my alma mater) to endow a chair in the great university on his behalf, if such an important discovery had come from Governor Godswill Akpabio of Akwa Ibom State, so that it could at least benefit from the Akwa Ibom governor’s uncommon generosity.

    But Bayelsa State is fast becoming a recurring decimal in the news of late, and particularly since President Jonathan assumed office. Things have been happening in that state at the speed of light that it is almost difficult to chronicle them in a single piece. Not to worry; we shall try to mention a few, of which dem say, dem say journalism is just the latest. There is also this unusual hospitality, at least by and to ‘their ogas at the very top’. They hardly repay good with evil. President Jonathan demonstrated this attribute in his recent pardon granted his former boss, Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, who was convicted for fraud. The President saw nothing wrong or unusual in that action; in fact, he was shocked that the rest of us were shocked by it when we should be praising him. He was not alone; indeed, many people in Bayelsa openly jubilated over the presidential pardon. Obviously, the people were not on the same page with the rest of us, or vice versa. I was sad over that pardon because the President forgot to admonish his former boss to ‘steal no more’. After all, Jesus Christ who pardoned the woman ‘charged’ with adultery (as if she could have done it all with herself) added that proviso: ‘go but sin no more’. Since there was no such condition or conditionality in the presidential pardon for Alamieyeseigha, the man appears to have a blanket cheque, meaning that he can do it again and again and expect to be pardoned all the time, at least for as long as ‘their son’ is in power!

    Governor Seriake too did what many of us regarded as unthinkable when in July last year he appointed Patience Jonathan, the President’s wife, as permanent Secretary in the state civil service. Recall also that the other day, President Jonathan expressed surprise as regards how Channels Television ‘penetrated’ the police college to expose the rot there when he should have thanked the television station for a job well done. In like manner, Governor Dickson too did not appear concerned about what could be the fertiliser for dem say, dem say journalism. All that matters to him is the proscription of this aspect of journalism. It did not strike him that dem say, dem say journalism thrives when information is not readily available.

    In spite of whatever misgivings we might have about some of these somewhat unsavoury developments, however, I am glad to announce that they still have a redeeming feature. At least they offer some comic relief that is good for our health as Nigerians who are daily being bombarded with news from high places that can only further reduce life expectancy in the country. The fact is that the polity has been too hard and dry, and we can only imagine what damage this can do to our health. People like Governors Rochas Okorocha of Imo State and Dickson may not know it; they are somewhat helping in their own little ways to reduce stress in the land.

    Imagine how Okorocha’s two-weeklong holiday to the Igbo people in his state last December made many of us to roar with laughter not just for its novelty but more for its ‘creativeness’. And the other day when Dickson too laboured in vain to justify the appointment of Mrs Jonathan as permanent secretary, many of us nearly rolled on the floor over the absurdity of the excuse given. Yes, we may say that the kind of comic relief we are getting from our politicians these days is not as imaginative as the ones we got from, say Hon. Adegoke Adelabu, the inventor of the word ‘penkelemeesi’ (peculiar mess) in the First Republic; or the Late Barkin Zuwo, former Governor of Kano State in the Second Republic who asked soldiers that found millions of naira in his house what was funny in finding government money at the Government House.

    The fact is, since the demise of Alhaji Lamidi Adedibu (remember him?)who said he was entitled to a liberal slice of Oyo State government largesse), we have missed some of these hilarious actions. But it appears all hope is not lost, with Governors Okorocha and Dickson struggling to fill the vacuum left by some of these comedians of old. If there is a decline in the level of their performance compared to the great ones that are now departed, it is just a reflection of the country where the only things on the rise are the parochial, the bad and the ugly. Standards in every good area have been on the decline. So, we can still make do with the substandard comic relief; after all, half comic relief is better than none.

    From my email

    Just read your column of Sunday March 24, Tunji. Metaphorically speaking, full deregulation of the oil industry is the President’s haughty but subtle way of telling Nigerians that after all the oil comes from Ijaw land, so he can decide what to do with it. But until he foolishly completes the deregulation, neither he nor his advisers can imagine how suffering Nigerians will react. Please hide my identity. Happy Sunday.