The Nation Newspaper

Category: Tunji Adegboyega

  • Mr. President, remember January 2012

    Mr. President, remember January 2012

    Nigerians are not ready for high fuel prices under whatever guise

    Even as the fury generated by the presidential pardon granted ex-convict Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, former Governor of Bayelsa State by President Goodluck Jonathan was yet to subside, the President sprang another surprise: Nigerians should get ready for full deregulation of the downstream sector of the oil industry. In our context, they should be prepared to pay more for fuel. The President spoke in Abuja when he received the report of the graduating participants of the Senior Executive Course 34, 2012 of the National Institute of Policy and Strategic Studies (NIPSS), Kuru, at the Presidential Villa.

    “Why is it that people are not building refineries in Nigeria, despite that it is a big business?” President Jonathan asked. He provided what seemed to him the answer: “It is because of the policy of subsidy, and that is why we (emphasis mine) want to get out of it”. But who are these ‘we’? For me, the word ‘government’ would have been better in place of the ‘we’ because it is only the government and those feeding fat on public funds that are complaining about fuel subsidy. If President Jonathan is in doubt, he should call for a plebiscite.

    It is however instructive that, at about the same time the President was dropping the bombshell on Tuesday, the Federal High Court, Abuja, also dropped the knockout when it declared as unconstitutional, illegal, null and void, the controversial government proposal to deregulate the prices of petroleum products. Gratifying as this might be to the millions of Nigerians already traumatised by the misrule of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) government in the last 13 years, I would not want us to rely much on this victory for reasons I would mention shortly.

    The fact is that, nothing the President says can ever justify the so-called deregulation on the present template of importation. The question is, why has the PDP government not been able to construct more refineries in the last 13 years? It takes about 12 months to construct a skid refinery of about 30,000 bpd capacity. On the other hand, a mega refinery with about 100,000 bpd capacity and above takes between three and four years to construct, with an estimated cost of about $3.5 billion. With fuel subsidy now gulping more than one trillion naira annually, would it not have been better for the government to invest in refineries, even if it would later pass them on to private investors to manage?

    One of the questions that the President has not satisfactorily answered is why an oil-producing nation like Nigeria continues to import fuel. This is a country having four refineries with a combined capacity of about 445,000 bpd but which are operating at about 30 percent capacity. How do we explain this? And the government wants us to believe that they can never work well due to corruption or whatever. What kind of spirit is that? And we are being told stories about these refineries as if they never did well at any point in time. If they once did well, why are they the way they are now?

    Obviously the refineries have not worked well over the years not necessarily because they are owned by the government, but because their managers, in conjunction with successive governments, ran them aground, essentially through corrupt practices. I had to say this in response to President Jonathan’s allusion to the fact that refineries in Canada are working well because they are all private sector-driven. There are refineries in, China, the world’s second largest refiner, that are owned by the government and they are doing well. Why is ours different? Another reason why our refineries are dying is because those benefitting from fuel importation will never allow them work well for their selfish reasons.

    Unfortunately, the PDP government has not done much to address the issue. And it cannot because it is steeped in iniquities itself. When people donate billions to facilitate the building of a presidential library, or to facilitate the construction of a church in the President’s town, or to fund elections; that is the kind of result we get because the donors are not fools. Whatever they donate must be recouped somehow, and it is one reason why we may never get to the root of the fuel subsidy scam. How can government look the people it got money from to finance elections in the face and allow such people to be sent to jail? When that happens, the source of such slush funds will dry up.

    We should thank Bamidele Aturu for instituting the deregulation suit, and the judge for his courage. But we should not over-celebrate the victory because, as we know, our judiciary is not there yet. Lest we forget, the court where the matter has been decided is not the court of last resort. We still have the Court of Appeal and the Supreme Court to contend with, and, trust the Jonathan government; it would want to appeal the judgment, especially if it is sure somehow it will have the last laugh at the Supreme Court. The point is that the matter is more of a political issue than legal. By the time we make it a completely legal issue and the government gets a favourable judgment at the Supreme Court, then it would make any action against its decision look like an illegality, which all right-thinking persons know is not true. This is not to say that the protests will not come irrespective of whether the government loses in court ultimately or not; with the trigger being high fuel prices.

    I find the President’s likening of deregulation to surgery, which initially is painful but leaves sweet memories thereafter, rather amusing. But the allegory is misplaced. Hear him: “To change a nation is like surgery. If you have a young daughter of five years who has a boil at a very strategic part of the face, you either, as a parent, leave that boil because the young girl will cry or you take the girl to the surgeon. So, you have the option of just robbing mentholatum on the face, until the boil will burst and disfigure her face, or you take that child to the surgeon. On the sighting of a scalpel of the surgeon alone, the child will start crying .But if she bears the pains, after some days or weeks, the child will grow up to be a beautiful lady.”

    This is highly witty, but the minus there is that President Jonathan did not tell us that the beauty can only manifest, other things being equal; that is if the surgeon to perform the operation is not a quack, for instance. For more than 13 years, the way successive PDP governments at the centre have been handling the ‘scalpel’ is enough to convince Nigerians that they will all end up in the morgue by the time the ‘surgery’ (deregulation” is completed by a government they have come to see as insensitive and inept, and one that is too tainted to fight corruption.

    I also agree with the President that “… you do not need a lifetime to change a nation. Under 10 years, Nigeria can change and people will not even believe that this is Nigeria again. Immediately you come up with strong policies in key sectors of the economy and keep it for 10 years, the change will be astronomical.” But his Papa Deceive Pikin party (apologies to Reuben Abati) has been in government for close to 14 (not 10) years now. Do we then take it that the ruling PDP has been feeding us with the wrong policies since then, hence our present sorry pass? And is that the party to trust to handle deregulation to our common advantage? I doubt. And I have the feeling I am on the same page with many Nigerians on this. That is why they must be ready to return to the trenches. It is not yet Uhuru. January 2012 beckons again!

  • Ex-convict in our hearts

    Ex-convict in our hearts

    In a time like this, Nigerians will always remember the late Fela Anikulapo-Kuti. If Fela were alive, he would have dedicated a special album to the uncommon presidential pardon granted Chief Diepreye Alamieyeseigha, the former Governor of Bayelsa State, on March 12. Chief Alamieyeseigha, for the record, is an ex-convict. I guess the lyric of Fela’s release would be something like this:

    Fela: Alams, you jumped bail;

    Alams: Yes, I jumped bail;

    Fela: Alams, you be thief;

    Alams: Yes I be thief, but the government say I no be thief;

    Fela: Alams, you corrupt;

    Alams: Yes, but the government say I no corrupt;

    Fela: You disguised as a woman in the UK to jump bail;

    Alams: em.. em.. that one get as e be, but em … em… e no be true, etc.

    Never mind the fact that Fela is now dead, the truth is that he left behind powerful messages, some of which have proved him to be one of the greatest prophets Nigeria never anointed. Fela was a prophet. He died August 2, 1997, that was 15 years before. But we should not forget his ‘Government magic’. President Jonathan’s pardon for Chief Alamieyeseigha is one such magic. Since we cannot analyse the pardon because it defies logic, the kind that only the President and his colleagues in the National Council of State (NCS) understand, then it must eminently qualify as magic; precisely, government magic.

    Of course, Chief Alamieyeseigha was not the only ex-convict pardoned by the President; he only happened to be the most celebrated. And we should understand why. Chief Alamieyeseigha is not only from the President’s home state of Bayelsa, he is also President Jonathan’s ‘political benefactor’. So, we cannot put him in the same category as Mr. Shettima Bulama, an ordinary former Managing Director of Bank of the North. Other ex-convicts pardoned included Gen Oladipo Diya, the Chief of General Staff during the reign of military dictator Gen Sani Abacha, former Managing Director of the Bank of the North, Mr. Shettima Bulama, who was also convicted of fraud; former Chief of Staff, Supreme Headquarters, the late Gen Musa Yar’Adua; former Minister of Works, the late Maj.-Gen Abdulkareem Adisa, who was also found culpable in the alleged coup that landed Diya in prison. Others included ex-Major Bello Magaji, Mohammed Lima Biu and former Major Segun Fadipe.

    As we know, even ex-convicts have category. An ex-convict Bulama would put his mouth in what a friend calls ‘permanent position of shut up’ when his senior ex-convict in the person of Chief Alamieyeseigha is talking.

    But my understanding of presidential pardon is that it is usually for prisoners of conscience or political prisoners. But to grant such to common thieves similar to the one on the left side of Jesus on the Cross is, to say the least, disgusting. This was the same Alamieyeseigha who jumped bail in the UK where he was held for alleged money laundering. He ran back home and expected to triumphantly return to his seat as governor but for public outcry. Those saying he did plea bargaining and forfeited most of the ill-gotten wealth to the government missed the point. Alamieyeseigha did not do that on his own volition; he had no choice at the time he did. At any rate, it was not as if he was penitent; he even said he did not want to contest that decision then because age was no longer on his side. In other words, he never admitted he stole. So, why are they now ‘calling dog monkey ’ for us, as if we were not all living witnesses to this shameful episode? Indeed, this is the reason why I am pained. The President did not have to explain why he pardoned Alamieyeseigha; after all, he once told us that he did not ‘give a damn’ about his declaration of assets!

    It is unfortunate that Doyin Okupe, the President’s special assistant on public affairs, confused us the more, rather than convince us, when on Wednesday the government found its voice, through him, to defend the indefensible. He spoke about the President taking the decision alongside the NCS as if the people in the council are not Nigerians that we already know. Whenever we talk of the NCS and try to make an issue of it, I laugh. I laugh for the same reason that Okupe gave while defending the presidential pardon, that the council consists of some of the country’s ‘most distinguished personalities who could not have been mistaken in its action’. The question I have always asked myself is, why are we like this if really these people taking these essential decisions on our behalf are truly ‘some of the country’s most distinguished personalities’? If they are of impeccable wisdom as Okupe and others like him want us to believe, they all would not have slept facing the same direction on a matter as contentious as the one under consideration. The very fact that the matter has generated this heated debate nationwide is enough dent on the wisdom of their decision and it probably shows that we have always overrated them, or they have always overrated themselves.

    So, how is what the President did different from the judiciary which frees high profile criminals in the country only for them to get their comeuppance abroad? If government could set Alamieyeseigha free, why do we blame people who invade our jail houses with the intention of setting free those held there? Has President Jonathan ever considered the effect of this particular pardon on the country’s image abroad? Now, government officials would be blaming journalists and people who see nothing good in the country when the backlash comes, without being honest enough to accept that it (government) is responsible for the negative image because of these kinds of decisions. With a decision as this, how would President Jonathan feel in the company of world leaders when next he travels out? This is the same President who said he cannot grant amnesty to ghosts, but is now granting presidential pardon to common thieves. Does that tell us anything about the government, and by extension the ruling party? Remember, just about three weeks ago, one of their anointed who should know said their party harbours more Judases than genuine disciples. Isn’t this a vindication of that assertion? The same President Jonathan who is now compassionate when the matter affects one of his own has kept a judge of repute out of his office for months for no just cause, even after the National Judicial Council that rightly or wrongly took the matter to him has said the man is without blemish.

    I can live with the pardon granted those accused and convicted of coup plotting. After all, coup plotting can only be illegal in a democratic setting. The Abacha government that Diya and others were accused of plotting to overthrow was in itself an illegality. In case we have forgotten, a court pronounced its precursor, the Interim National Government, that much. At any rate, many of us were sad about the coup, phantom or real, that they said Diya and others planned, for the simple reason that it failed; thus denying Nigeria the noble service of terminating a government that was unwanted at home and distrusted abroad.

    All said, if this is what the PDP wants to continue doing and still hope to return to power in 2015, then the party has a lot to contend with. As I have always noted, a fowl that is excreting in a pot is merely spoiling its final resting place. President Jonathan might have had his way on the pardon for Alamieyeseigha, but we will continue to have our say. Chief Alamieyeseigha remains an ex- convict in our hearts. And that is what is most important.

  • Kalu can try again

    Kalu can try again

    The former governor should not lose hope in his quest for a degree 

    People who have university degrees may not value them until they see other people far better than them struggling to have the same degrees that they have taken for granted. Those familiar with the major news headlines in the past week must have known where I am going. It’s the issue of the degree awarded the former Governor of Abia State, Uzor Orji Kalu by the Abia State University (ABSU), Uturu, in the state, which the university has now revoked. Kalu, as governor, did not require any degree to become governor in Nigeria. Those who drafted our constitution noted our peculiar circumstances as a country, hence their bringing the qualification for our high offices to such rock-bottom level. Don’t ask me to expatiate because I won’t, for the same peculiar circumstances. No thanks to those who made our constitution, all that is required for governors and even the president is a School Certificate or its equivalent (whatever that means, and I guess that is also there due to our peculiar circumstances). So, possession of a degree is only an added advantage. And, maybe in the light of our experience, an added disadvantage!

    Kalu had already become a governor the time he sought admission into the university to pursue a Bachelor’s in Government and Public Administration. Apparently, the former governor still felt something was missing in him without the degree, having crashed out of the University of Maiduguri, and he thought of a way to make up for this and found ABSU the best place to meet that aspiration. Before we knew what was happening, the then governor had been offered admission into the same university in which he was the Visitor. Whoever advised Kalu along that line obviously did not reckon with the backlash, which, trust Nigerians, came in torrents. I remember vividly then that there was uproar about the immorality in what the governor had done. Not a few wondered how he intended to cope with his tight schedule as governor and that of a full time student of ABSU. But Kalu, like many other public figures in Nigeria did not care a hoot about the criticisms. What mattered to him then was that Kalu had gone back to school and would soon become a graduate.

    If Kalu’s intention was to upgrade his credential, it is something that is perfectly okay by me. What I find objectionable was his choice of university to realise that ambition. If he had followed due process and met all the criteria set for admission and graduation, and, above all, if he had not attended the university at a time he was its Visitor, that could have been good public relations for the institution. It could have enhanced its image.

    The university, no doubt, has to share in the blame. There are questions to ask. First, was there no senate in ABSU when Kalu applied to be a student there? Did the senate also not see that Kalu did not meet the criteria for the award of the degree then? I hate to ask the third question because it might be absolutely unnecessary. And that is why it took the university this long to realise these alleged irregularities. The answer to that is simple; the university, like any other institution, can revoke a degree anytime it is discovered that it was improperly awarded. In other words, it is not time bound. Concerning the issue of whether the university authorities at the time the former governor was admitted into the university did not see these lapses, we must be frank with ourselves, there are only a few academics who can look a sitting governor in the face and tell him that he cannot be admitted into a university because he has not met the criteria for admission. It seems the days of such rascally dons are over. Or that the sitting governor cannot graduate, for the same reason. Chances are such academics who do not know how to blend wisdom with courage would be shoved aside; not only by Kalu but by many of our governors who rule as if they are some imperial majesties. As a matter of fact, some of such lecturer’s colleagues would have been struggling for his place before the ink which the governor would have used in authorising his sack dried up. It is that bad. The point I am stressing is that our institutions are too weak. Where they are strong, Kalu himself would not have got the temerity to seek admission into that university at that time. That is why I would want to caution that we do not overstretch this aspect for obvious reasons.

    But if we insist that the university should be punished for taking Kalu and awarding him its degree in spite of these shortcomings, no problem. But we have to, as they say in my place, first drive away the thief before telling the owner of the stolen property that he too did not secure his property well. It is therefore to Kalu that we should turn and ensure that he stops parading himself as a graduate of ABSU, at least for now, since the university has acknowledged that the degree was improperly awarded.

    The former governor has threatened that his lawyers will reply at the appropriate time. But while Kalu’s lawyers are still perusing the books and statutes to know which to nail ABSU with in order to get back their client’s degree, I know as a layman that no court can force a university to award a degree that the beneficiary is not due for. The best that can be done in this matter is for the court to declare the process leading to the decision to revoke the certificate faulty because the university did not give Kalu the benefit of fair hearing; at least that is the impression one got from the story.

    I am not oblivious of the fact that it is possible Kalu is now a victim of political victimisation, probably by the same person he assisted to be governor. But that is the way most of them behave; we cannot tell how many people Kalu himself might have done that to as governor. So, it is a case of what goes around comes around. That is why I do not think we should overstretch this aspect too. We should rather look at the larger picture of whether the former governor is guilty as charged by the university authorities. The integrity of the degrees and certificates issued by that institution should be our main concern as against whether someone is being victimised. If the ‘victimisation’ is just, that is, if it is not without basis, so be it.

    If Kalu still wants to be a graduate, he should return to school properly and do it right, now that he is no longer governor. This time, he should ensure that his transcript carries the letter-head of the University of Maiduguri from where he dropped out; he should ensure too that he meets the admission requirements as well as the requirements of attendance of classes.He should also ensure that he matriculates with his fellow ‘Jambites’. His case with ABSU is almost a lost cause because all the gods in Okija Shrine swearing that he did not influence (as a sitting governor) his admission into ABSU, or the award of his degree, will impress no one. The best option for him is to return to school to prove his detractors wrong. ‘Kalu goes to school again’! How about that?

  • Did you or did you not?

    Did you or did you not?

    Did Jonathan sign any pact on one term? 

    No one needs to be told that the race for 2015 has begun. Sometime ago, some strange campaign posters appeared in Abuja, the federal capital territory, canvassing a second term for President Goodluck Jonathan. The Presidency disowned them. Of course that was the logical thing to do, especially for a government that has been in power for close to two years and has so little to show for it. But that is the way they have been running Nigeria. May be President Jonathan has been somewhat charitable not to have come out with his intention to contest for a second term earlier because of the too many troubles that his administration has had to contend with, chief of which is the security question. Most other elected officials – president, governors and all, used to begin campaign a little after their first year in office.

    But the allegation by Governor Babangida Aliyu of Niger State, to the effect that the President had an agreement with the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) governors not to stay beyond one term in office is like an objective question which requires a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. However, we have not heard a convincing answer. Rather, the otherwise innocuous statement by Governor Aliyu has led to unanticipated reactions within the ruling party.

    We, the people, may not know yet if there was such an agreement; but what we know is that someone is telling lies or is being economical with the truth. It is either such a pact exists or it does not. The implication now, lends credence to the fact that this country has been in the firm grips of Judases. If people cannot be truthful over little things, how then can we continue to trust such people with our future?

    I am not necessarily saying he did; but I remember that one of the very first things that President Jonathan did was to fly a kite on a seven-year single term mandate for the president and governors in 2011, two months after his swearing in. The President was said to be concerned about the acrimony generated by reelection after four years. Secondly, he had earlier told the Save Nigeria Group that he considered four years too short for any leader to make any meaningful impact. Jonathan had said then though, that he did not intend to benefit from the arrangement. But Nigerians who had travelled that road several times saw through the shenanigans and rejected it outright.

    What the Presidency needs as defence on this issue is brandish good governance instead of harassing people who brought the alleged pact into remembrance. Unfortunately, the PDP has failed to give good governance in about 14 years. That is why the party’s big wigs are jittery and that is why we are having all these scheming and rumblings in the Nigerian Governors Forum (NGF). Even if President Jonathan signed a pact with the PDP governors not to serve beyond a term in office, that will become null and void if he is adjudged to have done well by the time the 2015 elections come. Again, even if the President admits to signing such an agreement and on his honour announces his intention to leave the stage in 2015, it is Nigerians who will insist that he stays on to ‘complete the good works that he has started. ‘ It is because the party knows that Nigerians are now more aware of its failure and the widespread corruption that the party has legitimised that it is now turning the whole thing into ‘rofo rofo’ fight. Again, unfortunately, this would lead the PDP nowhere. The party has fooled the people almost all of the time and it is not likely it would get away with that again.

    PDP itself seems to have realised this and that is why it has brought expiring people who should be tending to their grandchildren at home to come and ‘fix’ things for it come 2015. But the party would be hugely disappointed that Nigerians would resoundingly reject it in 2015 if it fails to improve on its record, in a way that the ‘Fixer’ himself would be too dazed to fix anything.

    But what is happening in the PDP should surprise no one. Many people had predicted that it was only a matter of time for the party to implode. I guess that prophecy is about coming to pass. The party itself has acknowledged that it harbours more Judases than genuine disciples. Even ‘baby’ Christians know that Judas Iscariot, the only Judas among Jesus’ 12 disciples, was one too many. Now that the ruling party has confirmed that it has more Judases in its fold than genuine disciples, we do not need to look too far for why this country has been like this, especially since 1999. The problem now is that we do not know which of the factions is the authentic Judas’ faction, because, for every original, there is always a fake. We saw that in Moses vs. the Egyptian magicians.

    Instead of telling Nigerians that ‘yes’, the President signed a pact, or ‘no’ the President did nothing of such; governors were summoned to watch the video recording of Governor Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers State who allegedly ‘disparaged’ the President. It’s like watching of video has become a pastime in our seat of power. We remember how a general was shown in one such video in the military era prostrating for another general when caught in the quagmire of a coup. The fretting general, a learned man for that matter, did not know when he mistook ‘masterminder’ for mastermind! A case of when a hunter of humans sneezes, that of elephants catches cold?

    All said, we all know that for Nigeria to make progress, PDP must speak in incoherent tunes. Unless the party breaks, we cannot move forward. If it could happen in Ogun State in 2011, it can happen again and again. We should pray ceaselessly for a repeat of the Tower of Babel crisis in the PDP. For those who are getting worried about a budding dictator, they are only worried over nothing. God has always fixed every such dictator in this country; they either retraced their step or they got consumed like the greedy fly that follows dead bodies to the grave. That is why I will never lose sleep over dictatorship, budding or full blown.

    Only last week, I said Mrs. Patience Jonathan must have wrestled seriously with death to be alive after nine operations within one month since no one in her shoes would succumb simply because Mr. Death sneezed. In the same vein, for ill, Nigeria’s presidency is just too powerful. That is why the President would summon governors and they would run to Abuja; their tails between their legs. That is why the President could threaten to castrate state governments financially and he would get away with it. Some have argued that many governors tremble at the President’s feet not because they do not know their rights but because their hands are soiled and the President has the dossier to do them in if they fail to fall in line. No one wields such enormous powers and capitulates on the basis of a pact condemning him (as it were) to one term. It takes more than honour to admit that such a pact exists, not after tasting the mudun mudun (sweet things) in government at that level. If ever such a pact existed, I guess it was done at a time of ignorance.

  • Patience Jonathan’s second chance

    Patience Jonathan’s second chance

    Lazarus must have been green with envy hearing that Mrs. Patience Jonathan was in the valley of the shadow of death for one week. We had thought that Lazarus’s had been an unbroken record, having stayed only four days in the grave before Jesus Christ came and woke him up. But our president’s wife has broken that record. Although she acknowledged that she is not Lazarus, she nonetheless made public the miracle that God has done in her life at the thanksgiving service to mark her return from the ‘land of her ancestors’: “I am not Lazarus but my experience was similar to his own. My doctors said all hope was lost …It was God himself in His infinite mercy that said I would return to Nigeria. God woke me up after seven days”.

    Never mind that her aides had merely told us she went abroad to rest. One would have thought we had more than enough rooms to rest in the country. Even if we don’t have one befitting the status of the First Lady of the Federal Republic, what stops us from awarding billion naira contracts for construction of world-class rest rooms in the Villa? Anyway, she left without a tangible word to hold on to for those of us who were concerned, and rightly so, for her whereabouts. When we were persistent in trying to get something from the government concerning this, one of her aides was almost angry with nosey newsmen who kept asking about when madam would return from her trip. He asked them whether she was his mate that she would take the trouble to disclose such vital information to him!

    Yet, not a few persons had accused the presidency of lying on this issue. But it is wrong to accuse the presidency of lying because the presidency cannot lie. It merely amended the truth, by saying that Mrs. Jonathan had only gone to rest abroad, following the rigours of the 2011 elections and after hosting the African Ladies Forum, when in actual fact the woman was already having a tete-a-tete with her ancestors and would have been admitted to the league of Saints Triumphant but for Divine intervention.

    Anyway, we should thank God for Patience Jonathan’s life because it is not all the time that people who die ‘resurrect’. As a matter of fact, Yoruba people would warn that no one should play with fainting because many people who did never had the privilege of returning to this world; by the time they woke up from their expensive joke, they did so in the great beyond. That is particularly so if the people involved were Muslims. But that was not the portion of our First Lady; glory be to God.

    Since what the president’s wife experienced was a rarity, she must know that God has a purpose for bringing her back to life. Even in Yoruba mythology, when someone dies prematurely, it is believed that he or she would be sent back to earth at the border between the earth and heaven. So, for Mrs. Jonathan to have been sent back to life meant she had an unfinished business which the heavens wanted her to complete. Many of those who claimed to have had the same experience returned to tell us tales about what the other side looks like.

    So, did Mrs. Jonathan see any vision for Nigeria throughout her ordeal as a dead person? Or, what precisely did she see? Did she see any of our departed elder statesmen while she was dead? Are they on the same side with Father Abraham or are they on the other side? Are they happy with the way we are? Are they looking back at what we are doing in the country, or they have completely abandoned us as a lost cause? Are they impressed with her husband’s style of governance? Did madam see Lazarus whose record she has just beaten?

    While madam is preparing her answers to these questions and probably more, I can imagine the kind of fierce battle she would have had with that ultimate leveller, Death. To be quite frank, how many of us in Mrs Jonathan’s shoes will succumb to death just like that, leaving behind all the opulence of Aso Rock Villa, and Jonathan another Eve married? Where were such Eves all the years that they ‘siddon look’? I can imagine Death itself fleeing in the course of the battle to take Mrs Jonathan’s life, lest it got demystified in the process. Remember the story of Jacob who wrestled with an angel all night until the angel succumbed before daybreak, so that human beings and angels would not meet.

    But to have been dead for one week is not a child’s play; as a matter of fact, Mrs. Jonathan should write about her experience and she will make billions from the title/s. Imagine all the big people who would run over themselves to drop their cheques at the launch! I am surprised people are not yet putting congratulatory advertisements in the media over Madam’s speedy recover (pardon my Sir Shina Peters’ expression) from the dead. Yet, some people who never like people in power would not rejoice with our first family. Indeed, I saw some of them on my way to the General Post Office in Ikeja, Lagos, last Monday, who were speaking blasphemy about the report that Mrs. Jonathan said she was raised from the dead after seven days. They were querying why that had to be our problem when neither ‘the woman’ nor her handlers told us why she was taken abroad in the first place. How then does her thanksgiving make such big news? I literally took off from the scene because such careless talk in those days of military rule could land one in Gashua. Thank God for democracy.

    In the lighter mood, when people return from Mecca, we call them Alhaji or Alhaja. In the same vein, when people return from Holy Pilgrimage to Jerusalem, we know they are called Justices of the Peace (JP). Now that our First lady has just returned from the valley of the shadow of death, how do we refer to her to distinguish her from people who merely fainted or were in a trance?

    But Mrs. Jonathan said something that was not funny; she said that some of her aides, thinking she was dead, had already started selling some of her personal effects. This is something that is common among the ordinary folks and one would have thought that is an affliction to be found only among them. Now that we have seen that the rich also suffer such affliction, it might be interesting to know how the president’s wife has been coping with such aides with itchy palms, who were not honest over little things. Are they also having a second chance or they have already been jailed, while awaiting prosecution?

    And, talking about second chance, I guess that would be the new song in the country for some time to come. As a matter of fact, don’t be surprised if very soon someone comes up with the ingenious idea that since God was kind enough to give the First Lady a second chance, then, the First Citizen’s second chance is already signed and sealed in heaven; it is only waiting to be delivered, come 2015.

    But on a very serious note, two fundamental questions remain to be answered in spite of the celebrations, the thanksgiving and all. The first is what was Mrs. Jonathan’s ailment? And the second is how much it cost the taxpayer?

     

  • AFCON 2013, Keshi’s resignation, etc.

    AFCON 2013, Keshi’s resignation, etc.

    This year’s Africa Cup of Nations (AFCON), has come and gone, but its sweet and bitter memories linger; yes, sweet and bitter memories; depending on which side of the divide one falls. For us in Nigeria, it was an event to remember because our football ambassadors, the Super Eagles, brought the coveted trophy home. A country like Burkina Faso who lost to us will continue to rue that loss for some time to come. But I must confess I am no longer a football enthusiast. I lost the enthusiasm years back, when our local league became moribund, making Nigerians to join the rest of the world in celebrating European football.

    I remember how in years past, we used to celebrate our own great teams like Enugu Rangers, IICC Shooting Stars of Ibadan, Mighty Jets of Jos, Alyufsalam Rocks Football Club of Ilorin, Stationery Stores of Lagos, Sharks Football Club of Port Harcourt, to mention just a few. I also remember, albeit nostalgically, how in those years Nigerians trooped to any stadium where any of these great teams was playing to watch soccer as well as entertain themselves. But that was in the years when Nigeria was an issue and Nigerians could still look to the future hoping that it would be better than the present. We savoured the fine soccer that our players displayed on the fields, the panache, the victories, and even sometimes the defeat, especially when we realised that the losers really played well but the god of soccer was not favourably disposed to letting them win the match.

    But all that is gone! Just as we now look back and keep asking ourselves how we came to this sorry pass in other spheres of life; so we are also asking today how we lost all that patriotism and sentimental attachment to our local league to some funny European teams whose names are so popular in our homes today that we hardly remember that it had not always been like this. As a matter of fact, some of us had become so fanatical about these foreign teams that they had killed fellow Nigerians in anger over matches played by the teams.

    It was in this ‘I can’t care less’ attitude that I was when AFCON 2013 began. Like many Nigerians, I did not have any hope that the Super Eagles would go far. As a matter of fact, I started convincing myself that the team would come back home sooner than expected after watching their first match against Burkina Faso in which we played 1-1. By the time we played the second match with Zambia, I had lost interest completely, with that match again ending 1-1. But this lack of interest in the team had nothing to do with the team or the coach; it is just this thing about our sports administration, particularly that of football. Like the tortoise, they are so ubiquitous that their names keep coming up when the issue is the ignoble.

    We have heard all kinds of stories about them. For instance, when some of the foreign coaches were recruited, we read of allegations against them (football administrators), for instance, that some of them went into deals with the foreign coaches and were getting part of the mouth-watering salaries that the coaches were paid. We have heard allegations of how they creamed off players’ allowances; how they return home from events outside the country with more luggage than the plane can carry, as if their primary mission on those foreign travels is more for mercantilist than for soccer purposes. We’ve heard stories of how their ‘entourage’, comprising all manner of persons, including girl-friends and concubines, far outnumber the number of players and other auxiliary officials needed for the teams, etc.

    Quite strangely, hardly is anyone punished in spite of all these allegations. The best we have seen is that if there is too much noise, the government replaces the person causing the brouhaha and we move on. It would seem most of the people posted to administer our soccer are king’s goats that no one dares to touch. Since merit is never an issue in the appointments, we hardly get any good result. And when we do, as in the last AFCON, it is in spite of these characters, and not necessarily because of any effort they put in. Perhaps if their contribution to soccer is just to steal the funds, we would not complain much. But they go further by placing all kinds of hurdles on the path of coaches who refuse to dance to their tune and in the end, the coaches fail. Where they are not recommending the players to be selected to reflect ‘national spread’ (as if soccer is about quota), they dictate who to bench and which number the players should wear.

    But thank God for Keshi; because if he had failed, they would have turned his nostrils into a trumpet. As a matter of fact, he was the envy of all last Sunday night at the world press conference that he addressed alongside the team’s captain, Joseph Yobo, after the Super Eagles victory. His mien did not betray the fire that was burning underneath his cloth, caused by improbable masters who had never thought anything good could come out of his Nazareth. The Nigerian Football Federation (NFF), specifically had allegedly told Keshi he would be sacked; that was apart from calling his selection to question. His salary, we were even told, was withheld. Meanwhile, in spite of their own incompetence and all, their salaries are paid promptly. But, in spite of everything, Keshi carried on as if nothing was amiss, only to tender his resignation after winning the AFCON trophy.

    Since only failure is an orphan, the Super Eagles have been well celebrated by friends and foes alike. Even the NFF that had hitherto been threatening their coach has had its mouth padlocked by the Super Eagles victory. But Nigerians should be grateful to the Aliko Dangotes and the Mike Adenugas for their generous financial gifts to the Super Eagles. This is how to nurture a team; you don’t do that by giving ‘golden handshake’ (whatever that means) in a country where everything has been monetised and these boys and other Nigerians see people in positions help themselves to billions of public funds.

    But this victory should not becloud our sense of judgement that the AFCON victory is not one that would always come. We have to do things differently to expect different result. The fact of the matter is that government cannot take us far in soccer and sports generally because it is not disciplined itself. The state of our stadia across the country (that we spend humongous sums to build or repair whenever we are to host an international event) is enough proof of this. Many people have said this time and again; but the government would not listen because making it hands off sports would plug the source of money for some of its boys.

    However, now that Keshi has withdrawn his resignation, time and only time will tell whether he acted right by so doing. The fact is that it is easier to get the World Cup ticket for the country than it is for him to dislodge the entrenched interests in the football house. They have been beaten once by Keshi; whether he will beat them for all times is another kettle of fish entirely.

     

  • The lost century

    The lost century

    Those who said Nigerians are the ‘happiest people on earth’ obviously knew what they were talking about. This is one country where you find the e go better expression on everyone’s lips, no matter how bad things are. No one is willing to confess negative. And that has its basis in religion, the opium of our people. That, I guess, is the source of our perpetual ‘happiness’. The only snag is that I have not found any link between that ‘happiness’ and life expectancy because it is also a fact that people who are happy tend to live longer than those who have sadness all around them. If our happiness is genuine, then we should be among the people with high life expectancy. At 47- 48, the lowest in the West African sub-region, we cannot say we are doing well. Yet, we are ‘happy’.

    That ‘happiness’ is apparently behind the Federal Government’s decision to celebrate the centenary of the amalgamation of the northern and southern protectorates to form what is now known as Nigeria, by Sir Frederick Lugard (known simply as Lord Lugard), in 1914. Although Nigeria as a country will be 100 years old next January, the commemoration of the amalgamation began on Monday, with the centenary anniversary dinner held at the State House in Abuja. We knew this was what the government would do when, sometime ago they started flying kites as to the importance of the amalgamation. As a matter of fact, what would have come as a surprise was if the government had decided otherwise. Anything that involves spending is welcome by our public officials for obvious reasons; there is always money to make, whether the country is mourning or celebrating. Forget about whether, as the government said, the events would be funded solely by the private sector. The fact is that we know how to waste money. Indeed, this is another laurel that is waiting for us to clinch.

    With the government’s decision to go ahead with the celebration, the people who do not see any cause for celebration have been told they have no point. Yet, I guess if we were to subject the issue to a referendum, most Nigerians would have rejected the idea of celebration because there is no way it is going to affect their lives or meet them at the very point of their needs. But here we are, the nays have had it again; again on our behalf. However, now that those who should take the decision have decided that we must celebrate, the cost should be borne by the government. Obviously, the government quickly came out to say the celebration would be funded by the private sector to disabuse the minds of Nigerians that the celebration is meant to make some few Nigerians richer from the public till. This shows the level of distrust among the people, of the government.

    But I prefer the government sponsoring the celebration not just because that is the right thing to do since it (government), is the one that sees the sense in celebrating the anniversary. Secondly, from experience, when our private sector bears such cost, it is the average Nigerian that they ultimately transfer it to. The private sector is no Father Christmas. Moreover, it has its own problems, many of which the government has not been able to solve. Also, we know the price we paid (and we are still paying) since the 2011 elections. Such private sector ‘assistance’ rubbed on us economically, it also cost us a lot in terms of moral rectitude; it has blurred our vision as we have not been able to think straight since then, acting as a corrupting influence on virtually all areas of our lives.

    This apart, if the private sector bears the cost of the celebrations at the centre, what of the states? What would the states do with the Unity Square that each of them is expected to build in their capital which would be unveiled during the nationwide ‘unity rally’? Is it the private sector that would bear that cost too, and other programmes that the states might want to do? Yet, many of these states are having cash crunch. Yet, they would have to look for ways to fund these projects that have no direct bearing on their people. What do we need unity square for? How does that engender unity? As a matter of fact, when we say we are organising ‘unity rally’, it is an admission of the fact that there is disunity in the country. Yet, General Yakubu Gowon introduced the National Youth Service Corps Scheme in 1973 to enhance national unity, among other objectives. If that and other programmes have not succeeded in uniting us, then we should not kid ourselves that ‘unity rally’ would.

    It is unfortunate that Nigeria’s case is like that of a hunchback who is carrying a load and people say the load is bent. Is it the load that is bent or the person carrying it? Many people believe Nigeria’s problems started since the 1914 amalgamation. I would not know whether to agree with them or not; and my point is informed by the fact that the country once worked within the framework of the amalgamation. But, whether we accept it or not, the country is no longer working. Without necessarily looking for an alibi for why the Goodluck Jonathan administration has not done well, I agree that most of the problems predate the present government. But we cannot divorce the government completely from the sorry pass in the country since the return to democratic rule in 1999, some 13 years plus, when the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) has been in power. That is why I find it comical when the president or some of his aides make allusion to the same statement that the country’s problems predate the present government. They conveniently forget that the present government is also a PDP government and, ipso facto, an offshoot of the Olusegun Obasanjo administration that begot the Umaru Yar’Adua government in which the present president was the Number Two Citizen. So, if they say we should not blame President Jonathan for our country’s problems, they should be honest enough to admit that the PDP has not been of much use to Nigerians since 1999. That is the import of what they too are chorusing.

    Even former President, General Ibrahim Babangida, also said that the mistakes of past administrations are putting pressure on the country today. He did not say what the mistakes were or the past administrations that made them. Will we say those mistakes were those of the heart or the head? Again, the self-styled president did not tell us. Even then, we know. He was also quoted as saying that even Lord Lugard who did the amalgamation gave it a life-span of 100 years. Apparently, Lugard did not envisage that crude oil would be found in commercial quantity in the country then. If there is anything that is still holding this country together, it is not because the country’s leaders by and large worked towards its unity; rather, it is because of oil. We need to see the oil dry up first to see whether Lord Lugard was right or wrong.

    All said, Nobel laureate, Prof Wole Soyinka once said his generation was a ‘wasted generation’. In the same vein, this century appears irretrievably lost, so, let’s look forward to the next. And, in order not to have the same verdict when that century ends, we have a lot to do. And this is not talking politics; it is not just about governance or winning (or fixing) elections; it’s about good governance which is as easy to identify (as obscenity), when we see one.

     

  • Justice Talba and the pension thief

    Justice Talba and the pension thief

    If anyone had doubts that Nigeria was yet to start any serious anti-corruption war, the judgment handed down to a director of the Police Pension Office, Mr. John Yusuf, by Justice Abubakar Talba of the Federal Capital Territory High Court, Abuja, on January 28, was enough to erase that doubt. Yusuf’s case had been a celebrated one, given the magnitude of the amount allegedly stolen by the pension thieves in the Police Pension Office, and the fact that he was the first person to be tried for the police pension fraud. About N38.8billion was alleged to have been stolen. However, Yusuf and his ilk were said to have stolen N27.2billion of the amount. Indeed, Yusuf personally admitted to stealing N2billion. For this, the best Justice Talba could do was to ask the big thief to refund N325million, forfeit 32 houses and pay a fine of N750,000 or spend two years behind bars.

    It is unusual for people to engage in loud discussion in the courtroom, but in this case, people in the court, engaged in loud exchanges, loud enough for the court clerk to call everybody to order when Justice Talba pronounced his judgment. Obviously, Yusuf had stolen more than enough for the owner to notice; and Justice Talba too had shown a kind of uncommon compassion. Where did he expect the owners of the funds to get their money at retirement if this is the kind of kid gloves that judges in Nigeria would be treating people like Yusuf? Did it ever occur to Justice Talba that he too could be a victim of the Yusufs of this world upon his retirement?

    Quite annoyingly, the pension thief immediately paid the peanut of a fine, to the admiration and applause of his friends and family members, and headed for home. No shame; no remorse. I wonder what Yusuf would tell his children and grandchildren, if he is already a grandfather. Will he tell them that he just paid a fine instead of going to jail for stealing other people’s sweat? Do you know that in the kind of Nigeria where we now live, Yusuf would have organised an elaborate party to mark his victory over the country’s rotten system if the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) had not rearrested him to face trial, this time, for allegedly not declaring some assets, among other allegations, including, again, theft? Some people might even take space in the media to felicitate with their own who was lucky to escape imprisonment for stealing. That is how sunk we are as a nation. This country is indeed in trouble if this is the way we want to fight corruption. I wonder how our leaders feel in the company of other countries’ leaders when matters like this crop up in the comity of nations.

    But I am happy that, for once, many Nigerians were enraged by the judgment. They must have been wondering why Justice Talba did not emulate Jesus Christ by simply telling the accused to ‘go but sin no more’. I am happy that, Nigerians protested the judgment; and particularly so that students and other youths were in the vanguard of the protest. It is rightly so because it is their parents’ future, and by extension their own future, that the Yusufs of this world are eating up today. With the kind of judgment handed down to Yusuf, we have every cause to be apprehensive of the pension savings. Rather than serve as deterrent, it will serve as stimulus for other pension and allied thieves. All they have to do is to steal big enough.

    That was why I laughed when last Monday, Justice Okon Abang ruled (in a matter between Capital Oil and Gas Ltd and its managing director, Mr. Ifeanyi Ubah, and Access Bank Plc and Coscharis Motors, over a N10billion loan the bank claimed to have given Capital Oil and Gas Ltd.), that Access Bank must withdraw its suit on the same matter in a London court. With rulings such as the one by Justice Talba, one does not need any expert advice that if one could afford it, he should not leave such matters in the hands of the unpredictable Nigerian judiciary. At any rate, I wonder why Justice Abang should be so concerned about whether someone has confidence in the Nigerian Judiciary or not; what, to me, should be his uppermost concern is that justice is done, no matter from where; whether home or from abroad. In any case, don’t Nigerian rich people leave our hospitals for hospitals abroad for the same reason that they do not have confidence in the country’s hospitals? Why couldn’t the minister of health or even the president protest this by decreeing a stop to it? The point that Justice Abang seems not to know is that confidence or trust are priced words that cannot be decreed or imposed; both are earned. It does not seem to me that anyone can force another person to have confidence in what he or she has a choice not to have confidence in. l leave the matter at that for now.

    But, meanwhile, to underscore how ridiculous the Yusuf sentence was, Justice Mashood Abass of the Oyo State High Court, Ibadan, just the day after Justice Talba’s judgment, sentenced the Provost of the Federal Cooperative College, Ibadan, Mrs Ruth Aweto, and the bursar, Mr Adekanye Komolafe, to four years imprisonment for deceiving the Federal Government by passing off 41 casual staff of the college as permanent staff, with annual emolument of about N7million, instead of N3.6million. They thereby made a dubious gain of N3.4million over one year. They had no option of fine. Their crime must have been that they are ‘petty thieves’.

    I do not know of a place where people set a date for revolution; it builds up over years only for the bubble to burst when the people run out of patience. The spontaneous reaction of Nigerians to the verdict tells me that there is still hope for this country. All we need is to sustain such protest whenever strange things like this happen.

    I know President Goodluck Jonathan has hardly seized any great moments. But he can take advantage of this because, to do otherwise would confirm the notion that the government itself is handicapped when it is anti-corruption because its hands too are not clean. The President may be saying this is the problem of the judiciary; but the buck stops at his desk. There is nothing that says he cannot initiate a genuine judicial reform that will take care of the inadequacies of our present laws which make it easy for big thieves to escape justice while poor ones get all the punishment. Anything can happen in a situation where people lose confidence in the judiciary, which is the last hope of the common man. All the arguments advanced by Yusuf’s counsel that made Justice Talba to have compassion (I hope it is compassion) on the accused pale into insignificance when juxtaposed with the sufferings that the owners of the pension being stolen and their dependants would face when the time to reap the fruits of their labour comes and there is no money forthcoming. Even Kootu Ashipa of old (Ashipa’s Court) would have done better, if only to prove to the world that the country’s anti-corruption war is not a huge racket or, sorry, a huge joke.

  • Osun: Two years on

    Osun: Two years on

    One of the major characteristics defining Governor Rauf Aregbesola of Osun State is his style of ‘government unusual’. For instance, he does not believe in being addressed as ‘His Excellency’, a thing many governors cherish as if they were born with it. This ‘government unusual‘ has almost made the governor ‘Mr. Controversy’. But one thing that cannot be taken away from Aregbesola is the fact that he is pulling his weight in terms of governance and delivery of democratic dividend to the people of Osun. In a little over two years, he has started leaving imprints that would be difficult to wipe off from the history of the hitherto beleaguered state. When we consider what Osun went through in the 90 months that Olagunsoye Oyinlola was governor, we would see clearly that a lot has happened in the state in the last two years.

    It is when people do not have a clear idea of what to do that they spend eternity planning. Conscious of the fact that he has only four years (at least in the first instance) to convince the people of the state that they did not make a mistake at the polls, Aregbesola hit the ground running. In line with his campaign promise to take away from the streets idle able-bodied young men and women, he introduced the safety net programme called OYES (Osun Youth Empowerment Scheme) within 100 days of his assumption of office. With it, at least 20,000 of the idle youths were taken away from the streets on a monthly stipend of N10,000 each. With it, about N200million is being injected into the grassroots economy monthly. This might look so small in many big cities of the country, but it is a lot in a predominantly civil servants’ state like Osun.

    It is even fascinating that Aregbesola is not thinking in terms of Osun alone concerning this programme. Indeed, he has calculated how much it would cost the Federal Government should it decide to set up such a scheme. According to his projections, about 740,000 direct jobs can be created at the federal level, and another 3.7million indirect jobs. This would imply the injection of about N7.4billion into the grassroots economy. Of course following the Osun pattern, about 1.48million uniforms would be sewn for the participants, with about six million yards of cloths to be produced by the textile industry.

    A beautiful aspect of the OYES is the fact that it penetrates virtually every strata of the educational order, from the illiterate cleaner to the roadside mechanic, as well as the graduates who may have to use the scheme as a transition camp. The scheme provides for exit strategy apparently in recognition of its limitations that it cannot serve as permanent employment for everybody, particularly the skilled persons.

    The way Aregbesola is going about the business of governance gives him away as a man who really understands the issues and is determined to address them. You see in him a man pregnant with ideas and this shows in most of his projects and policies. For instance, in education, the state operates the elementary school, middle school and the high school, without necessarily affecting the 6-3-3-4 education system of the Federal Government. The elementary school caters for children from age six to nine, and they are basically neighbourhood schools in which the pupils do not travel beyond 100 to 500 metres from where their mothers are. All the pupils in the elementary school are given lunch to help them develop mentally and physically for learning.

    For the high schools, the government is working on the provision of 150,000 computer tablets (Opon imo) for the students and their teachers, in realisation of the importance of information technology to learning. The idea is to make education more attractive by storing in the computers dedicated books, lesson notes, and past examination papers for school certificate and even the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) examinations. If the project works, it would be the first of its kind, at least in this part of the world.

    Aregbesola’s ingenuity in developing the local economy also deserves mention. Apparently, the governor is not impressed with the reference to the state as a ‘civil servants state’. The implication is that it is a poor state. Most of the policies of the administration are therefore geared towards reversing this impression. Empowering the people, as far as the government is concerned, is key. We have seen this in the OYES; it also manifests in the government’s decision to harmonise the uniforms of all its pupils and students such that the uniforms are procured and sewn centrally, thus creating jobs for the manufacturers and the local tailors, among other artisans in the chain.

    In spite of all these, there is a shortcoming; Governor Aregbesola can do with less controversy. Yes, he may have his point in some of the cases, but the most important thing is that he would be assessed at the end of his first four years, not by the number of controversies he ignited or survived, but by the tangible things he has been able to do for Osun people. As much as possible, major policy decisions must be subjected to rigorous debate so that seemingly good policy initiatives do not end up in acrimony. And, from experience, such debate does not have to be done by in-house people alone for obvious reasons, but by people who have nothing to lose by saying it as it is, irrespective of whether it is sweet or bitter music to the governor’s ears.

    All said, you would see the passion of a man who loves Nigeria and wants it to work in the Osun governor. Apart from, say, the projections he has made on a national scale for the OYES (just in case the Federal Government is interested), select editors who met with him in Lagos last Sunday, in the hope of dwelling essentially on his activities in his state in the last two years ended spending more time analysing Nigeria and trying to proffer solutions to some of the national challenges. These included the attack on the Emir of Kano, Alhaji Ado Bayero and the deployment of Nigerian troops to Mali. For instance, he believes the Boko Haram crisis is, by and large, a national problem that should not be left for the northern governors alone to handle, and that the problem would abate if the idle youths that are serving as foot soldiers for the sect are gainfully engaged.

    Considering what the state government has been able to do in two years, the question naturally arises as to how the government is getting money for the projects. The free lunch for pupils alone is estimated to cost the state about N3billion annually; the government requires about that much for the free uniforms. Yet, it gets between N3.6billion and N4billion from the Federal Government and is only able to rake in about N600million monthly as internally generated revenue. Yet, it has other programmes, including its ambitious agricultural programme as well as massive road construction and reconstruction, maintenance and rehabilitation programmes. There are salaries to pay monthly. Perhaps amidst these competing demands and limited resources the intriguing thing is that the government is not eating up its children’s tomorrow, today. In spite of not inheriting a buoyant treasury, the government does not intend to leave an empty one either. So, it is saving every kobo the state realises as its share of the excess crude account. There is at least N10billion in that account. This is a feat in our kind of country where many governors have become gaming machines, literally swallowing money (and always asking for more) without anything to show for it.

     

  • Greedy legislators? Try Kenya

    Greedy legislators? Try Kenya

    people who think our legislators are the worst in terms of their desire for primitive accumulation and ostentatious lifestyle will tender unreserved apologies to them when they see what their Kenyan counterparts earn, and are still yearning earnestly for more. As a matter of fact, I now believe that truly, it is one who has not travelled far that does not see squirrels with hunchback; if one travels far, he is likely to see ants that are lame.

    That exactly was the impression I got on reading the story of Kenyan lawmakers who want extraordinary end-of-term bonuses and other mouth-watering pleasures. They want their bonuses tripled; they want diplomatic passports for themselves and their spouses, bodyguards for life, of course paid for by taxpayers; they also want State burial for themselves when they die, a thing reserved only for their president and notable achievers. Thank God the legislators have President Mwai Kibaki to contend with. At least twice in three months had the legislators made the demand, and twice had Kibaki turned them down.

    And, as if to prove that they were actually being driven by what a newspaper called ‘eccentric greed’, the lawmakers, in their lack of regard for time and space, did not even care that they were repeating the demands in their last act before the parliament closed for the March 4 elections. One would have thought they would have been mindful of the coming polls, and at least pretended as if they cared about reelection or the people more than they did about themselves; but they didn’t. “But even the most cynical among us would not have bet on the lawmakers sticking their hands in the public pocket on the last day in office … one would have expected that politicians facing an election would have had the decency to exit without creating a ruckus”, the Standard Newspaper said on January 12. If the Kenyan lawmakers’ prayers had been answered, the taxpayer would have incurred an extra cost of two billion shillings to pay the higher bonuses alone, to people considered by the electorate as already overpaid, lazy and corrupt. As a matter of fact, Kenya’s lawmakers are seen as among the best paid in the world.

    I know Nigerians are very clever; (most of them now take Panasharp) they would therefore want to remind me that $107,200, the end-of-term bonus being demanded by the Kenyan lawmakers (about N17,152, 000) is only a fraction of what our National Assembly members take for Constituency Project; that is true. But you can only see the sense in my point when you note a few things about Kenya. Kenya’s lawmakers earn about $13,000 (N2, 080, 000) a month, the bulk in tax-free allowances. This may look small, but is no doubt huge in a country where an unskilled urban labourer may earn as little as $60 (N9,600) a month, and with a per capita GDP of $800. In 2011, the legislators refused to pay back taxes demanded by the government, then bought new seats, worth $2,400 (N384,000) each, for the members in the chamber. For a country facing a ballooning wage bill to meet pay raises for teachers and doctors, and at a time when economic growth has slowed and unemployment remains uncomfortably high, this is simply outrageous.

    So, when compared to their Kenyan counterparts, we will see that our own National Assembly members only want to be spoilt a little, unlike their counterparts in Kenya who want to be spoilt big, irrespective of whether their pleasure would amount to pain for the average Kenyan. I will give you just one example to prove that our legislators here care about how they spend public funds in a way that it won’t tear the people’s pockets. Just a few weeks back during the unnecessary debate on how much we should sink into our vice president’s palace (remember I told you then we don’t just spend or procure when the issue is such high-class project, we sink money into projects), whether it is N14billion, or N13billion or even N16billion, one of our senators who himself was enraged by the big big billions being mentioned for the project rose in defence of the people by rounding up the figure to a moderate N10billion, which he felt was adequate. Instead of clapping for him, some of us still condemned him because we did not think our Number Two Citizen deserved to live in such opulence. I can only imagine the kind of embarrassment we must have caused the gentleman vice president by subjecting his abode to such debate in the market square.

    Back to the Kenyan legislators. Who says they do not know what they are doing by making those extraordinary demands? When you see people who spit on the ground and quickly rub it with their foot, it is because they know what spittle could be used for. After skinning the Kenyans while in office, the legislators need life bodyguards in retirement lest they get torn to shreds by the people. Of course they need State burial so Kenyans would also be responsible for their funeral expenses. After serving the people so lazily and corruptly, there cannot be a better way to complete the insult than to ask the people to pick the bills of their burial as well. I think they must have heard from the Yoruba people here that Aye l’Oyinbo nje ku (the Whiteman enjoys till he dies). Kenyans have to carry the responsibilities of their legislators in life and death.

    Bad as our own legislators could be, have they been asking for diplomatic passports for their spouses? Bad as our lawmakers are, I have not seen anywhere that they ever asked us to give them bodyguards for life, maintained by the taxpayers. The best we see is for those of them who have the means or have stolen enough, to acquire bullet-proof jeeps. There are no accident-proof cars yet; otherwise Nigerian lawmakers and political office holders generally would scramble to have some. May be this is an area Nigerians have to pray to God to grant the White Man speed, wisdom, knowledge and understanding to manufacture accident-free vehicles to at least spare these leaders from knocking down the people they lead in their attempt to get away fast from God-knows what on our death traps called roads! Bad as our legislators are, I have also not seen them asking that they be given State burial when they die. So, we can now see clearly that if we compare children, we will flog one to death for the other.

    The point is that people do not appreciate what they have until they lose it. We may never appreciate our crop of legislators until they travel to Kenya to see how their Kenyan counterparts are doing it and return to insist on the same measure, after being bitten by the Kenyan bug. Unlike the Kenyan legislators who would rather follow dead bodies to the grave in their quest for insatiable wants, our own lawmakers know the limits of their greed. At least they are not as lazy, corrupt and overpaid as their Kenyan counterparts. We owe our Senate President David Mark and House of Representatives Speaker, Aminu Tambuwal, a debt of gratitude for the enormous sacrifices they are making in order to make laws for our good governance!