The Nation Newspaper

Category: Gbenga Omotoso

  • Politics as a dirty business

    IT is perhaps the biggest gathering of politicians in recent times. They came from far and near. There had been hints of the great spectacle when a group of angry – obviously not hungry as being insinuated in some quarters – All Progressives Congress (APC) members, who were the arrowheads of the New Peoples Democratic Party (nPDP), formed the Reformed APC (R–APC).

    It was a mixed crowd of political giants, pranksters and jesters. What do you expect? After all, it is the season of politics. The general elections are just a few months away.

    As I got set to write this column, I stumbled on a Times of London article by Rachel Sylvester. “Tory plotting turning politics into farce” lashes Theresa May’s cabinet, which has been hit by a string of resignations over Brexit. To the writer, just when Britain “needs grown-ups in charge, May’s cabinet of curiosities are behaving like selfish amateurs”.

    She quotes Cicero telling Tiro in “Imperium”, an adaptation of Robert Harry’s novels recounting the fall of the Roman republic: “Politics is a dirty business.” The play is about power and ambition in the ancient world, Rachel Sylvester writes, with an extraordinarily modern touch. “Pompey has a Trump-like head of hair, Cicero is condemned as ‘an enemy of the people’ and when Brutus admits, after the assassination of Caesar that ‘there is no plan’, it is impossible not to think of Brexit.”

    Pardon my digression dear reader.   The article, aforementioned, is a vivid flashback to the Abuja proclamation of the R–APC. The drama is clear: deploy populism, whip up sentiments and rouse the mob to action to pave the way for your principals to take over the reins of power. After that, dismantle all the seeming gains of the moment. Tell the public that you are fighting to save them from heartless herdsmen; in your mind the fight is all about enthroning hard men and bringing back the laissez faire of the past.

    As I said, it was a gathering of big names in politics. Atiku Abubakar, the exceptionally ambitious former vice president, who is ready to cross the sea for a presidential ticket: Chief Tom Ikimi – jolly good fellow; he has never been this far from mainstream politics and all its goodies – who many believe is still galled by his failure to get the APC chairman’s seat; and Olu Falae, the Ilu- Abo, Ondo State chief, former Finance minister and former Secretary to the Government of the Federation, who was kidnapped by gunmen who invaded his farm. His abductors, you may wish to recall, were seized, tried and sentenced to the death.

    Former Oyo State Governor Rashidi Ladoja, who is nursing the dream of returning to the Government House, took time off his consultations with his lawyers, who are battling to get him off the legal hook in an EFFC case, to be there. So was Deputy Senate President Ike Ekweremadu, the lucky politician who bagged the plum job despite the fact that his party is in the minority and has amassed a global property portfolio that Donald Trump can only envy.There was also Dino Melaye, who took time off his numerous legal battles and political buffoonery – to attend.

    David Bonaventure Mark, the former Senate president, was said to have sacrificed an entire day of golfing – he is reputed to own some golf courses overseas – for the meeting.

    Also, there were some presidential aspirants, such as Sule Lamido, the former Jigawa State governor, former Special Duties Minister Tanimu Turaki and former Kano Governor Ibrahim Shekarau, who is also a former minister in the Dr Goodluck Jonathan administration.

    Alhaji Buba Galadima, the R-APC national chairman, was railing against the Buhari administration, after announcing that Senate President Bukola Saraki and House Speaker Yakubu Dogara are members of the group. He named also Rabiu Kwankwaso, the former Kano State governor, as a member of the group. There was also PDP Chair Uche Secondus.

    A commentator described the gathering as “a conclave of renegades, human grenades and brigands” who are power-hungry. He says the group never spoke about its ideology and wondered if it had any. “It is all about not getting enough patronage or not getting at all; all about self and self,” he said. He concluded that it was all a PDP show.

    The R–APC is an amalgamation of the PDP and 38 other parties, some of which are largely unknown. They have agreed to field one presidential candidate who they hope will wrest power from President Buhari next year.

    The alliance is named Coalition of United Political Parties (CUPP). The jury is not yet out on the fate of this coalition, but it has been the subject of derisive jokes and blistering attacks. “Buhari has caged looters in one single box called Coalition of United Potential Prisoners (CUPP),” one nameless person posted on the Internet.

    As the coalition’s leading lights were grinning in Abuja, a cheeky fellow who watched on television said: “I know how to disperse this gathering. Let somebody just rush in there, panting and screaming, ‘Magu!’ ‘Magu!’ ‘Magu!’. The hall will be empty in seconds.” Magu, I am sure you know, is the Acting Chair of the EFCC, the agency leading the anti-corruption battle.

    Another simply reframed the acronym CUPP as “Clueless United People’s Party,  a flashback to the description of the Jonathan administration before the 2015 election. Yet, there are people who do not care whether the APC is “reformed, deformed and defamed”.

    Some associates of the legal giant and frontline rights advocate, Chief Gani Fawehinmi of exciting memories, have kicked against the inclusion of his National Conscience Party (NCP) in the coalition.

    To former Kaduna State Governor Balarabe Musa, the coalition is “just an electoral gang”. So think many people, who insist that it is not about democracy or good governance.

    It all depends on how the CUPP plays its card. Soon, it may begin to receive endorsements from all manner of groups – Association of Witches and Wizards of Nigeria (AWWN), Association of Veteran Politicians (AVP) and Retired Party Chairmen (RPC), Council of Traditional Rulers and Dealers and others who are pushing for the return of what they call the good old days.

    The Coalition also agreed to field a slate of candidates for all elective positions. The common man does not seem to feature in this elaborate plan. The whole thing is about sharing booty. Our politicians should show responsibility and the sobriety that this time calls for – or quit the stage for the army of youths yearning to seize the initiative to save Nigeria. As a colleague observed the other day, “the coalition or collusion may eventually cause a huge commotion, which will send its architects to a political Siberia”.

    The political class should wake up.

     

    Death in a boyfriend’s home

    MAJOR calamity has befallen the family of former Ondo State Deputy Governor Lasisi Oluboyo. His daughter Khadijat’s decomposing body was found in the home of her boyfriend six days after she went missing. She was 20.

    Her boyfriend, Adeyemi Alao, who is said to be an Internet fraudster, otherwise known as Yahoo, Yahoo,  is accused of killing her for money ritual. He dug a shallow grave in his room to bury the university student’s body. The police are investigating the murder, which Alao has denied.

    Why will a young man be involved in such a devilish enterprise? Where is the herbalist – accomplice in this murder? Who are Alao’s friends? Are

    Police parade Ex-Ondo Deputy Governor Daughter's killer
    The late Khadijat

    they also internet fraudsters? Can we ascribe this to the failure of parenting? But Alao is an adult who is responsible for his actions.

     

    The suspect’s father said he handed him over to the police after his younger brother discovered the body and told him of his shock finding.

    This tragedy is a reflection of the moral degeneration that has struck our society. Our values have been shredded on the altar of greed for money so much so that human life matters no more. Nothing is sacred.

    We are yet to find an answer to the damage that codeine and tramadol as well as other drugs are doing to our youths. Now we have to save our young ones, who are neck-deep in cultism, from cutting corners by doing rituals.

    The love of money is destroying our society. A massive reorientation is needed to curb this insane tendency.

  • A thought for our out-gunned police

    MAJOR calamity has befallen the police, with seven men killed in battle with bandits – in one fell swoop. My condolences.

    The police have vowed to fish out and punish those who visited this tragedy upon their men. Fine. That is a tough task, but it must be done – by force, by fire, as they say here.

    After the initial shock of the Monday night incident in Galadimawa on the outskirts of Abuja, the seat of power, it is now fitting and proper to ask: What happened? How? Why? Who did it?

    Details of the bloody incident remain sketchy. One account said the men were on patrol; the gunmen fired at them; they fired back and the firefight claimed seven lives. There were also injuries. Another account said the policemen were on a stop-and-search at a checkpoint.

    This is how stop-and–search works: An officer asks a motorist to slow down and pull up.

    Officer: “Oga, wetin you carry?”

    Motorist: “Nothing officer”

    Officer: Oya, come down and open ya boot. (He finds nothing in the boot. He  waves the driver on, saying “oya, carry go” or strikes another conversation):

    “Anything for your boys? You suppose to roja us o. We don dey here since morning. Na your work we dey do o.”

    Was that what happened that bloody night? We really cannot tell now. Whatever it was, there was no justification for the loss of these men. None. Neither is there any for all the killings convulsing some parts of our dear country – Plateau, Zamfara, Benue and others.

    Again, my condolences – to the Inspector-General and the entire police family who are directly hit by this terrifying experience. They should, nevertheless, not throw  up their arms in surrender, but summon the courage to get to the root of this matter speedily. This will reassure the public that the police are capable of protecting lives and property – and criminals that the long arm of the law will surely catch up with them.

    Why was it so easy for the killers to strike and flee the scene – unseen and unchallenged hours after?  If there was an exchange of fire as claimed by the police, did the other party suffer any casualty? Was there any distress call for reinforcements since some policemen survived the attack? Why was it so easy to kill seven policemen – just like that? Where are the eyewitnesses to this grievous crime?

    The killings bear the fiendish imprint of Boko Haram, particularly in its sheer savagery. It all began in small, mobile units killing uniformed people, including policemen. Then it morphed into a huge fighting force, attacking military bases and police stations. In its full bloom, the sect began to kill students and abduct girls in their hundreds. Many, including the innocent face of defiance against the sect, Leah Sharibu, who shocked the world by refusing to trade her belief for freedom, is still in captivity.

    Has Boko Haram returned to Abuja?

    To police spokesman Jimoh Moshood, the killing of his comrades was an opportunity to defend the Special Anti-Robbery Squad(SARS). SARS has been in the eye of the storm for its style of operation, which many consider as brutal and inhuman.

    Said the officer: “The attack is an indication that those who are calling for the disbandment or end to SARS are not doing the nation any good. These are policemen that were attacked and killed by armed robbers and other bandits.

    “When you now begin to call for end to SARS, this is a living witness that police personnel die in the process of protecting Nigerians and it is important that the SARS who are the fighting arm remain.”

    No officer; this is not the time for grandstanding.  This time calls for sobriety. We all feel humbled and hobbled by these killings. Those calling for the disbandment of SARS are driven by what they consider its excesses. They had expected the police to reform this unit to no avail. The pillar of their argument is like a beggar fighting with his stick and hitting anyone within his reach. Many innocent citizens are said to have been tortured at SARS’ detention centres, where detainees are believed to be guilty until they prove otherwise. Some, it has been said. never get the chance to prove their innocence at such detention centres?

    A desperate situation often calls for a desperate solution, but SARS can do its job with finesse and still get results. It can respect human rights and dignity even as it fights criminals.

    It is difficult to imagine the killing of seven policemen by bandits who seem to have suffered no casualty in that gunfight. And the killers escaped, probably unhurt? What an unequal fight?

    Just before the Monday night calamity, some policemen mounted a huge protest iMaiduguri, the Borno State capital, demanding payment of their special allowances going back five months. Those familiar with the workings of the police insist that the policemen should not have embarked on a street protest – tree branches in their hands, masked faces, songs and abuses – to press home their rights. Other channels, they said, should have been exploited. It was not clear if they did or did not before hitting the street. Why did it get to that level? Leadership problem ?

    They say the protesters should have explored other channels.  It is not clear that they did or did not before hitting the street. But why were things allowed to reach that point?

    Budget constraints have been cited as one of the reasons for the situation that fuelled the strange protest. Now those in charge of the process will realise the damage their dithering can do to the system. With armed “kill and go” policemen protesting openly, the clouds of the anarchy we dread seem to be gathering apace.

    After a long and tortuous battle, advocates of state police seem set to win their battle, with the National Assembly apparently now reconciled to the idea. Security is a community task. You can police only those you know in a terrain with which you are familiar. That is why all the military task forces find it hard to grab these killers who often strike at night and flee before troops rush down to the scene. A centralised police is a backward idea. The pedestrian argument that governors will abuse state police falls flat in the face of our recent experiences. In any case, what makes federal abuse more acceptable than abuse by the federating states?

    As I said here last week, we have on our hands a war that is beyond bombs, bullets and batons. It is not a war of battalions. It is a war of intelligence, of technology and of patriotism – a war for us all. It is not a war of politics for garrulous politicians because the killings in the land call to question our claim to humanity.

     

    A World Cup update

    NIGERIANS remain struck by the World Cup fever, despite the ouster of the Super Eagles. They are following the matches with great interest. When Argentina lost to France, soccer fans were dancing, apparently because they believed the Super Eagles were robbed in the match against the Argentines.

    On the social media were caricatures of Lionel Messi and Christiano Ronaldo riding an okada motorcycle. Messi’s luggage, which looks like a “Ghana must go bag”, is planted between him and the rider, Ronaldo. The two stars are out of the race for soccer’s most prestigious trophy.

    Before then, there were bags of rice with Eagles star Ahmed Musa’s picture emblazoned on them. They bore the inscription, “Ahmed Musa for president”. It was all to show appreciation for his two-goal feat in the match against Iceland. He has since laughed it off, saying he has no such ambition. Soccer and politics don’t mix well.

    And this from a friend after the Japan- Belgium match, which the latter won 3-2: “I watched tonight’s second round World Cup game with my mechanic. Here is what he told me after the thrilling encounter: ‘Oga, sebi a bin tell you say tokunbo (Belgium) always dey better pass original (Japan). You don see am na!’”

  • Plateau and other killings

    AFTER a lull, violence made a bloody return to Plateau State last weekend. Scores of people were killed right in their homes by gunmen suspected to be herdsmen.

    Condolences. More condolences. Tears and more tears. Recriminations. President Muhammadu Buhari and Vice President Yemi Osinbajo have visited, promising justice. But the question remains: when will the killings stop?

    It was not immediately clear why the gunmen struck, but the popular thinking is that the bloodletting was a result of the loss of some cows by Fulani herdsmen. Indeed, the spokesman of the association of cattle breeders said that much – that the bloodbath was in retaliation for the loss of some 300 cows. He was later to retract the statement, blaming it all on reporters who, he said, misquoted him. It was obviously to fend off the huge pressure that he should be arrested for fuelling the senseless killings and provoking the question: what is a man’s life worth, as against a cow’s?

    Only justice can answer this knotty question. But when will justice catch up with these marauders?

    Governor Simon Lalong was shocked at the carnage. He wondered why and how the peace he had been so proud of suddenly collapsed like a house of cards. The Berom and the Fulani who had been living together in peace suddenly became enemies, drawing daggers and pulling triggers.

    “I am greatly shocked that it happened because we have set a roadmap for peace for ourselves…shocked because the Berom and the Fulani have agreed to live in peace with one another and in practical terms they have co-existed for the last three years based on that agreement – to put the past behind them and live as a family.”

    The governor said when he was alerted that the violence was coming, he rushed down to the security agencies who assured him that it would not happen. “I left and it happened,” Lalong said.

    Why did the security chiefs’ assurance become a deflated balloon? Is an officer’s word still a word of honour? Was Lalong deceived? Or was it just a matter of intelligence deficit? Or Conspiracy? Or complacency? Or sheer incompetence?

    One thing is clear: the justice the President spoke of should start from the security agents. Whoever is found to have been negligent in this matter should carry the can. Carrying on from here as if rhetoric, and not action, will be enough will be politically and morally imprudent. People must be brought to account on the bloodshed that happened under their watch. That way, they will be more alert in future.

    The killers should be fished out and punished. We must find out who they are and why they are so mad. I do not believe that it is all because of cattle rustling and associated problems – land, ethnicity, religion and all that. No. It is, as Lalong observed, deeper than all the sentiments that we confront.

    We have a large army of terrorists in our midst.  Bands of bandits moving from one part of the country to the other, posing as kidnappers and highway robbers. They are not; they are in reality terrorists who have found us so vulnerable.  Even the President attests to the weight of the assault weapons they carry.

    Buhari said: “Take, for instance, the situation in Benue. The Benue subsistence farmer knows that the Nigerian cattle herder that he knows doesn’t carry nothing more than a stick, occasionally, sometimes something to cut grass to feed his cattle.

    “But the present herder, I am told, carries AK47 and people are even blaming me for not talking to them because maybe (they say) I look like one of them. There is some injustice in these aspersions.”

    Buhari is right – in his analysis (I have always believed that the herdsman is a mask for those crazy elements who are bent on destroying our humanity and our values but there is no way he can be right in what seems a security failure here.

    It was the turn of Ekiti State to have a taste of the madness a few weeks ago when these un(known) gunmen and madmen posing as herdsmen seized the beautiful Iwaraja (Osun State) – Efon Alaye (Ekiti State) road, killing and kidnapping innocent motorists and passengers. Those who attempted to flee the hell were shot in the back, among them a woman who had her kids in the car. By the time the military were called in, the marauders had gone into the deep, dark bush on the outskirts of Efon Alaye where they were negotiating ransom for their captives. No arrests have been made.

    Travelling from Iwaraja to Efon Alaye, you are confronted on both sides of the road by a beautiful scenery of lush green forests, undulating hills with low  vegetation in some areas and a massive greenery of virgin forests that exhibit the majesty of nature. The seductive hills take your eyes round and round in an exciting spectacle. The air is clean and fresh. All is quiet, except for birds chirping and farmers chatting on their way from the farm.

    Now motorists pass through with trepidation, their hearts in their mouths. And everybody is asking: Where are Governor Ayo Fayose’s hunters who came out the other day in their numbers – charms, arms, amulets, guns, catapults,machetes and headlamps – vowing to stop killer-herdsmen? His Excellency himself addressed them, decked out in military fatigues, pumping the air with his fist in a gesture of defiance.

    One of those kidnapped on this road, Dr Tunde Hamzat, spoke of his six-day ordeal in the hands of the gunmen. In his view, the Southwest has been infiltrated by agents of the devil. He has big machete cuts on his head and other parts of his body. He was starved, beaten and dehumanised. Every night, he and his captors trekked a minimum of five kilometers into the forest. To his amazement, he found out that the gunmen had a supply line; they were getting Indomie and recharging their phones by calling somebody somewhere. They had power banks to charge their phones, he said, adding that the gunmen confirmed that they were Fulani and members of the Boko Haram, the deadly Shekau faction. He was tied down like a goat. Insects feasted on his body. Eventually, he was freed after his friends and associates paid a ransom, in millions, of course.

    Until recently, the Akungba-Owo road was a den of kidnappers, perhaps the same set of bandits or an arm of their evil organisation. Their domain used to be Borno and some other states in the Northeast. Not anymore. The terror corridor has been expanded. We all seem to be helpless.

    The new war is beyond tanks, arms and ammunition. It is, in fact, beyond battalions. It is a war of intelligence and technology,  a people’s war. It is everybody’s war because the situation keeps challenging our claim to humanity.

     

    A World Cup update

    BEFORE the Super Eagles’ loss to Argentina on Tuesday, I asked my colleague Ade Ojeikere, who was in St. Petersburg to cover the match a difficult question: “Can Nigeria beat Argentina?” He replied: “It’s possible, based on our boys’ form, and if the ref will not play politics. They may see Argentina as the better team to advance – for marketing sake.”

    Isn’t Ade damn right? The ref saw an Argentine defender handle the ball inside the box, yet he would not award a penalty, which, if scored, would have sunk the Argentines. After the match, on the social media appeared the image of the ref watching the VTR to establish what happened. On the screen is $10,000,000. “That is what the referee saw on the VAR,” a fellow wrote.

    As usual, all Nigerians have become experts in soccer. The coach, poor fellow, is being hammered for the loss. He is blamed for not knowing what to do in the last 10 minutes of a match in which he required a draw to qualify. He is blamed for fielding Ighalo who lost at least two clear and crucial chances.

    Besides, there are sardonic jokes about our exit. A friend sent this before the match ended: “Now that we need Nigerian witches and wizards, they won’t show up. If it is to stop somebody from getting a big contract, they will be flying up and down.”

    In my view, the Eagles did well. They are gallant losers. They were not disgraced. Above all, their exploits united us all. Can we continue in that spirit?

  • When sleeping becomes a crime

    WHEN should a man fall asleep?

    Simple.

    So I thought until this innocuous question became a subject of hot debate for social scientists who turned it all into a matter of theoretical contestation.

    Nature seems to have settled the question, a layperson would think. We sleep at night and stay awake in the day.

    Not so simple, rejoin the experts, among whom, I must confess, I do not number myself.  Some people sleep during the day because they work at night. Among them are those in the essential services – medical personnel, fire fighters, soldiers, journalists, policemen, and many others. Others just follow the law of nature, sleeping only at night. Doctors, we must note, advise a siesta, a nap during the day. It is, according to them, a health booster

    If doctors recommend that of the 24 hours we have in a day eight should be devoted to sleeping and nature ensures that we go to bed at night, why then should there be arguments about this phenomenon? In other words, when does sleeping, a common routine, become a subject of controversy and a crime to be severely punished? Is it when it lasts more than eight hours? Is it a question of where one sleeps? How much control has a man over when and how he falls asleep?

    Dear reader, forgive the rather long preamble. We will get to the issue at hand presently. And I assure you, it is not a voyage into the minds of somnambulists, their ailment and its management. Neither is it an exploration into narcolepsy, jet lag and related conditions. No. Not at all.

    It is an attempt to comprehend the fate that has befallen a member of the Ekiti State House of Assembly, Hon. Sunday Akinniyi , who is representing the good people of Ikere Constituency II. Akinniyi also goes by the onomatopoeic appellation, Gbosa! He was suspended indefinitely last week “for sleeping too much” at plenary in the last three years.

    Akinniyi was also accused of “pugnacious behaviour in his constituency against his people”, according to a report in this newspaper. He got the push also for being “regularly regular in absenting himself, especially when issues relating to his constituency are slated for discussion”.

    The report quoted a source as saying that the lawmaker’s suspension was to preempt his planned defection to the opposition All Progressives Congress (APC) ahead of the crucial July 14 governorship election. No fewer than 10 lawmakers are said to be planning to jump the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) ship. When they eventually do, there is no doubt that they will be accused of “sleeping too much”.

    Will the attentive public, not excluding the mammoth clients of the state’s flagship programme, the vote-harvesting Stomach Infrastructure, not begin to query what makes the lawmakers yield so easily to sleep in, of all places, the hallowed chambers of the Assembly where the delicate business of lawmaking for the wellbeing of the people is conducted? Why should a lawmaker sleep for three years before the authorities of the House moved against him? When is “sleeping too much” indeed too much to attract such a stiff sanction?

    Akinniyi, who is reported to have fallen out with Governor Ayo Fayose, had earlier been removed as the Chief Whip on May 24 for alleged “disloyalty to the governor and other un-parliamentary activities”.

    A former deputy speaker, Mr Olusegun Adewunmi, suffered the same fate.

    There are fears that this problem of “sleeping too much” may have gone beyond the four walls of the Assembly. The indications are clear; more lawmakers who may be finding it difficult to stay awake may soon get the Akinniyi treatment. And why not? No House worthy of its mace will tolerate members who are half awake or simply snoring away the day when important and urgent matters of state are being discussed.

    The fears, as I have said, may have spread. And, irony of ironies, many are stacking the blame at the door of the very programme that has been hailed at home and abroad as the most ingenious of its kind, the Stomach Infrastructure under which indigenes are fed to their fill – free.

    The excuse being bandied all over the place is that overfeeding through this lofty government programme may have induced oversleeping, a development which the Assembly is desperately striving to curtail.

    This strange sleep problem, a keen observer of the Assembly said the other day, may have struck most of the members when His Excellency tendered the budget for ratification.

    All was quiet in the chamber as the governor placed the document on the podium and asked repeatedly: “Those who want this budget to be passed speedily say yes.”  The gallery erupted: “Yeh!”

    “If you want this budget passed speedily, say yes.” The gallery yelled: “Yeh.”

    If you want this budget passed speedily, say yes.” “Yeh!”.

    “Those who want the budget passed speedily, say yes.” “Yeh!.”

    “Those who doesn’t (sic) want this budget to be passed speedily, say no.”

    All was quiet. Fayose banged the table with the gavel he had brought to the sitting. The gallery – an assortment of youths, okada riders and artisans – erupted in jubilation.

    But the lawmakers were dead quiet.

    Many were asking after the session: “What hit the lawmakers; were they dumb and deaf?” Now they should know. Their sleeping sickness may have reached a clinically discernible stage at that time, but many, being no experts, did not notice.

    Why did it take the Assembly and its ever-dutiful leaders this long to discover that a rather strange ailment had hit the House? Complacency? Carelessness? Indifference? It is neither here nor there?

    A confidential source, who is close to the leadership of the House, has just told me that the leadership has ordered an audit of every Honourable’s sleeping habit to find out if it conforms with legislative recommendations or not. Doctors, specialists, of course, will be called in.

    Besides, a Bill to ban sleeping in the chamber in whatever guise is in the works. When it becomes law, the first of its type anywhere, it will make it an offence to snore, sleep and doze at plenary. It will be punishable by expulsion, the logic being that mere suspension will be unfair to the constituents of the affected honourable member. If he or she is expelled, the constituents will know that they are simply not being represented. This, as the popular thinking goes, is better than having a sleeping representative.

    Those who are knowledgeable about such legislation are already thinking of how to make the National Assembly adopt it to whip its sleeping and snoring members into line so that the nation can get value for what is believed to be our lawmakers’ jumbo pay.

    By the way, Hon. Akinniyi defected to the APC on Tuesday.

     

    A World Cup update

    THE World Cup is in full swing. It is too early to predict the winner. But the giants have not been finding it easy. Defending champions Germany lost 0-1 to Mexico. Brazil drew 1-1 with Switzerland. Senegal pounded Poland 2-1.

    Besides, there has been no goals drought. Is the rank of good strikers growing?

    Since the Super Eagles lost their first game 0-2 to Croatia, the fans have been restless. Every Nigerian has become a soccer expert. The coach has been tongue lashed for the 4-3-3 formula the team played. Odion Ighalo, the lone striker upfront, was easily rendered immobile by the Croatian defence.

    Off the pitch, the Super Eagles were the toast of fashion aficionados. Their jersey was rated the best. Their travel outfit was hailed as the most creative – and it is home-made, we are told.

    Back home, members of the team are the subject of ludicrous jokes. They are scorned. A friend sent me a picture of a flat plate full of pieces of meat. “The pig that predicted Super Eagles victory has been slaughtered. Here is the meat,” he wrote.

    And this on the social media: “Journalist: Why did the Super Eagles’ lose their match? Lai Mohammed: It’s part of the problems created by PDP. We inherited a poor team.”

    Yet another: “According to the news this morning, the President of China spoke about the Eagles loss at the World Cup. He said:’ Shai choi ting yang teng wong feng deng fung chan kin kong cho fungi lin.’ I agreed with him because it is for our benefit.”

    After Senegal beat Poland, some Nigerians hit the social media to claim their Senegalese origin, saying their great, great grandmas were born in that country.

    Now that attention has shifted a short while from the horrors that threaten our humanity, we should all see ourselves as winners; no losers. All the best to the Super Eagles as they face Iceland tomorrow.

  • June 12: A parley with MKO Abiola

    WHAT a glorious outing for the Abiola family and all those who identify with the magic of June 12!

    Millions watched on television as President Muhammadu Buhari, at a colourful ceremony and before a select audience of worthy compatriots, apologised for the injustice that saw a nation lose its sense and a great man his life. It was an emotional spectacle at the seat of power in Abuja on Tuesday. And what a day of reminiscences.

    Kola Abiola, the late Moshood Kasimawo Olawale Abiola’s eldest son, yielded the podium for his sister Hafsat to speak for the family. She did not disappoint. We were touched as she spoke, carefully picking her words to strike the right chord and urging Buhari to forgive whatever wrong her father might have done him. Of course, she drew great applause.

    Abiola, she said, was already rehearsing his inaugural speech. Why not? The results were pouring in and victory was in sight.

    What a day of apologies and genuine actions to lay to rest the ghost of the June 12, 1993 election – Nigeria’s fairest and freest ever – which was annulled for no reason by the military, headed by Gen. Ibrahim Babangida, who went by the fraudulent title of “president”. He was not at the ceremony. Ernest Shonekan, a chief and head of the Interim National Government (ING), the emergency contraption the military deployed to subvert the popular will, but which collapsed like a pack of cards that it was, was also absent. So was former President Olusegun Obasanjo, arguably the biggest beneficiary of the June 12 crisis, who refused to recognise Abiola, obviously from sheer egoism.

    Nobody missed them.

    Nobel laureate Prof Wole Soyinka shelved a foreign trip for the ceremony. He, as usual, lashed the dictators who abused Nigerians by their horrific actions and called for a “hall of shame” to ensure that history records their evil deeds for future generations.

    Asiwaju Bola Tinubu recalled the days of the struggle, praised the President for showing courage in honouring Abiola and assured him of support in his bid for a fresh term.

    If only the dead could talk. What could the man of the moment have said on all this? How would Abiola have reacted to the recollections of his heroism? A newspaper baron, he was fond of calling his editors to catch up on the news of the day and make some comments. Let us just imagine one of his numerous calls to the Concord newsroom. Here we go:

    Hello… this is MKO. How’re you?

    Ah! Fine; thank you sir (the reporter is shocked).

    Good. I trust all is well with you. What’s going on in town?

    It’s the 25th anniversary of your historic election as President. Now you have been officially recognised as President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces. The highest honour in the land has been bestowed on you sir.

    “Ah! Thank you. I aaam…mmm .. I am grateful. Mo dupe pupo. But let me tell you, I knew this day would come. Nigerians, 14 million of them, voted in that election. From the east, west, north and south; everywhere. It was a sunny day; I remember. Even nature was behind us. No tribe; no religion. Then the military…no, a clique in the military annulled the election. They said if I was sworn in I would be killed. Did I look like a commander-in-chief who would be afraid to die?

    “And, young man, aburo, you may recall that I told them clearly that a student who has passed an exam does not need to repeat it. Yes. I said so. The people have spoken. Loud and clear. You cannot make the sun to rise twice in one day, even in Africa. No.

    “It was a colourful ceremony at the Villa sir. President Buhari apologised to your family and all Nigerians. All your June 12 activists were there. “

    “Really? That’s great and I thank them all. Mo dupe. And I praise Buhari for his courage; that is how it should be. Those who were trying to clap with one hand now know on which side of history they are. Men of no principles, no character and mere weaklings who were not worthy of the uniforms they wore. Shame.”

    “Unfortunately, Obasanjo could not attend. He was away in Norway, according to his letter to the Presidency.”

    “Obasanjo. Eh en; Obasanjo was invited? Was he not the one who said I wasn’t the messiah Nigeria needed? He’s a master of intrigues, full of foxy ideas and pure ego. After I had made the supreme sacrifice, he became the biggest beneficiary of it all. I was even told that he planned to stay on in power and all that. What’s Obasanjo doing in Norway? Is he selling stockfish now? I remember he used to be a chicken farmer.”

    “Babangida, your friend, was also not there sir – for some health reasons.”

    “Hmmmm. Ibrahim. I didn’t expect him to come. He caused it all by not behaving like a true General. His courage failed him (I doubt if he had any). He said his boys vowed to kill him if he handed over to me. And I asked him if he was ready to relinquish power before I contested the election; he swore with the Holy Koran that he was. That was why I told them when they mounted pressure on me to surrender my mandate: ‘The mandate belongs to 14million Nigerians. I am only the custodian of this sacred mandate. And you can’t shave a man’s head in his absence. Nigerians, 14million of them, will be here if I must give up. They didn’t find it funny. And remember that I once said ‘with a friend like Babangida, nobody needs an enemy. That is the truth.”

    “Chief, there are people who believe that if you had agreed to rerun the election, you would have been alive for your family and business today.”

    “Looook, my dear, doooooon’t, don’t talk like that. You can’t abort a pregnancy after the baby has been born and people are already congratulating the mother. No. It’s too late. And I…I… I …I told them so. How can you be running and at the same time you are looking backwards? “

    “Shonekan was also absent, chief. I don’t remember the reason he gave.”

    “Shonekan; why should he be there- to collect another Greek gift? He reminds me of the elephant’s story. They told the elephant that he was going to be king. They dug a big hole and covered it with a beautiful carpet and put a throne on it. On the day of the elephant’s inauguration, there was a huge party. Women were singing, A o merin j’oba…(We shall install the elephant as king). They put the elephant on the throne. He crashed into the deep pit. He was deceived. He was used. I won’t say more than that. I won’t – for now. What Chief Shonekan failed to realise is, ‘the bigger the head, the bigger the headache’ Yes.”

    “As for those who are saying that I should have surrendered to stay alive, I thank them. That is human. But you know me; I am a man of the people. I can die for anything I believe in. Besides, I stated clearly when the struggle began that on this matter, one of three things would happen. ‘I have never been president, I have never been dead before and I have never gone to jail. One will surely happen.’ No regrets at all. An Are Onakakanfo must be ready to die fighting; he must not run away. It is a taboo, eewo.” Only a bastard will say the fear of death would not let him claim his father’s title.

    “Tinubu is advocating that your manifesto should be adopted to fight  poverty.”

    “You see, aaah…aaaah (Abiola laughs),let them read Farewell to Poverty, my economic blueprint in which I said by the grace of God in five years, no Nigerian child will go to bed hungry. And that is the truth. We can do it. I have to go now, aburo.

    “Thank you and God bless.”

    “Thank you sir.”

    Joshua Dariye goes to jail

    FORMER Plateau State Governor Joshua Chibi Dariye chose a wrong day  to go to jail. Tuesday was full of activities to mark the 25th anniversary of the June 12,1993 election, which MKO Abiola won. It was Abiola’s day at the Villa. President Muhammadu Buhari  revalidated the election and conferred on Abiola the highest honour in  the land – the Grand Commander of the Federal Republic (GCFR).

    Editors were troubled. The front page, naturally, was Abiola’s. But here was a former governor bagging a big award – 14 years in jail for N1.162b fraud – which also deserved a front page splash. Dilemma. To his credit, Dariye still found space on some front pages. What a feat!

    Dariye
    Dariye

    He arrived in court in his official vehicle as a senator; he left in a pick-up van. Of the N1.162b ecological fund released to the state, Dariye surrendered N550m. He splashed part of the cash on his former party, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP).

    To his lawyer, Paul Erokor (SAN), there is no point appealing the verdict. “We are forced to fall on your mercy,” he told Justice Adebukola Banjoko, who insisted that corruption must not go unpunished.

    The Dariye case went on for 11 years. Now, justice is served – fresh  and hot. Just as it was in the case of former Taraba State  Governor Jolly. He was jailed on May30. Are public officials learning any lesson from these and similar cases?

  • A time to be young

    IT was a long, tortuous journey, full of drama. But it was worth the prize. President Muhammadu Buhari has signed into law the “Not too young to run” Bill.

    Now, a 35-year-old can run for president as against the former age limit of 40. From 30 years, the age limit for House of Representatives and House of Assembly has been reduced to 25 years. There is joy in the land, particularly among the youth, who are full of energy and remarkable creativity, and all lovers of freedom and equity.

    Suddenly, frontline musician Sir Shina Peters’ classic, “Ace”, is bursting the charts again. Remember the exciting lyrics? “Asiko awa youth re o, eye binu wa; For sure ni, young shall grow.” (It is the youth’s time; don’t begrudge us our success. Surely, the young shall grow).

    There is already an army of youths indicating interest in various electoral offices. Our youngsters have never had it so good.  Where are those who swore that Buhari does not like the youth, lying that he called them lazy? Where are those who did not understand that Buhari was joking when he advised/urged the youth to shelve their campaign till after 2019?

    What is even more inviting – to run you need a mere school certificate.

    Nigeria Labour Congress (NLC) chief, Comrade Issa Aremu hailed the new law as “historic”. He said it would foster” inclusiveness of the youth in nation building as envisaged by the UN Sustainable Development Agenda 2030″.

    See what a   mere stroke of the pen can do?

    Unfortunately, like every other good gesture, the feat has generated a great deal of envy among armchair critics and unrepentant busybodies who will always cry more than the bereaved.

    What about “not too young to marry” law, which will, no doubt, reduce the incidence of “baby mama”? they ask derisively. What about “not too young to be super rich” under which Yahoo Yahoo will be legitimate, its practitioners no longer pursued like common thieves by the law? What about “not too young to drink” law, which will give the youth an unimpeded access to any drink of their choice?

    There is nothing their fecund minds will not conceive.

    Nevertheless, many fair-minded observers have been looking at the sunny side of the law and the gains of having the youth take the helm of our political affairs. In fact, some have been imagining the day – very soon, they swear – a handsome young man will be the maigida in Aso Villa.

    Farewell to the dull, drab and damp atmosphere induced by classical tunes. Bye Joseph Haydn, Ludwig van Beethoven, George Frideric Handel and the other icons. Sober days are over. Welcome hip hop. Davido.Wizkid.Olamide.Tiwa Savage. Falz, D’Banj.2Baba. Ruggedman.Dr SID. Welcome all.

    Just imagine Olamide’s chartbuster, “Science Student”,opening the floor at presidential gala nights, which have for long been the exclusive preserve of old musicians and cultural troupes.

    Kosewe kosegbo, kosewe kosegbo

     Won ti po’mi  gutter po

     Oju ti dirty

      Won tip o chemical po; awon omo science students

         Eemo wolu, enire lo

    Ore mi ti high.O my gosh!

    No more such pedestrian phrases as “fellow Nigerians”and those long protocols (Your Excellencies, Service Chiefs, my lords temporal, my lords spiritual, traditional rulers, all heads of agencies here represent or represented, all religious leaders, members of  the fourth estate of the realm, ladies and gentlemen) in state addresses.

    It will be simply “elders, brothers and sisters”. Short and sharp.

    Our elected officials will not be speaking through the nose and stressing every vowel like a London returnee. They will only need to address the people in the language they can understand – o sha prapra… Eyin omo wobe… .

    No more exotic wines imported from some far places to drain our hard-earned foreign exchange. Take your rightful place on the dinner table, indigenous drinks  – at last. Paraga, Jigijigi, Alomo, Kick and Start, Ori Malu, Kerewa, Ogidiga, Bajinatu and Opa Eyin. The conspiracy that killed Ogogoro, Kainkain , Sapele Water or Push-me-I-push-you will no longer affect you.

    Gone will be the days of senior political office holders riding some conservative Mercedes Benz brands. Girlfriends will have exotic Porsche as a sign of “assurance” that they are loved and adored. Wives will get the G-Wagon, strong and solid, the pride of German engineers and first choice of men who have taste, as a symbol of their men’s loyalty and renewed love, despite an avalanche of urgent state matters.

    Just imagine our president sporting a Gucci suit, a Rolex playing on his wrist, his fingers glittering with golden rings and three or more long golden necklaces dangling on his executive neck. Pairs of Brian Atwood, Jimmy Choo, Miu Miu and Christian Louboutin shoes. A pair of Gucci sunglasses. And, perhaps for effect, a white gold ring on his left ear.

    No long, embroidered native caps that remind us of those days when politics was for only the old, the elders. The common man can easily identify with Italian hats, like the Mafia’s, or better still, a bandana. There will be tattoos of various shades that will always make constituents screaming. Ah, the youth have it!

    Our leaders hardly show affection in public. Are they shy? May I gladly announce to the joy of women’s rights activists that with youths taking over, all that will belong in the past. Women will no longer “belong to the other room”. They will be hugged and kissed in public as it is done in the civilised world. Handshakes will not be enough.

    Governors who dine only with the high and mighty on long tables filled with varieties of local and continental dishes, wines and fruit will find no space in the coming arrangement. The grassroots will be the envy of all. Corn munching on the street, amala, gbegiri and ewedu with shaki and ponmo and orisirisi at roadside canteens, washed down at the nearby kiosk with paraga. Or any of the energy drinks that have flooded our towns and cities.

    The other day when a youthful governor went to the Assembly to present the budget, he wore a simple Polo shirt and a pair of trousers. He looked smart. No ceremony. No drumming. No singing. No long lines of officials accompanying His Excellency. He came with his own gavel with which he banged the table after asking the chamber if there was anybody who would not want the budget passed speedily. No dissent.

    “And the ayes have it,” he declared, and banged the table.

    What else can be responsible for such creativity if not the remarkable mental power with which the youth, our youths are endowed?

    Kudos Your Excellency Chief Ayo Fayose, the Executive Governor, Ekiti State.  And congratulations to all our youths.

     

    The World Cup is here

    IN just one week, one of the world’s biggest festivals will open in Russia. The World Cup holds every four years. The soccer feast lasts for about one month.

    For as long as the show lasts, many other things are put on hold. People rush home to sit in front of television sets. Some forget to have dinner. Wives are happy that their men are home. Fans of various clubs put aside their sentiments to unite for their country. Electricity generators’ sales rise as fans prepare to beat power outages to which we are yet to find a solution.

    Politics will be elbowed out of the front page. We will take a brief break from them all – lawmakers, lawbreakers, lawbenders, lawlessness and all that.

    Expectations are high. Nigeria is going to Russia with a team of young, skillful boys who are dying to excel for their fatherland. About 70 per cent of them, who are Nigerian-born, changed nationality to be in the team. Patriotism.

    In Austria, yesterday, the team lost 0-1 to Czech Republic in a friendly. But the match could not have been the true measure of the team’s strength.

    At home, the World Cup has become the subject of lively jokes in the social media. A sample: “Breaking News!!! FIFA rejects Nigeria’s 23-man World Cup squad, approves new team. Goalkeepers: Olusegun Obasanjo, Muhammadu Buhari and Goodluck Jonathan. Defenders: Lai Mohammed, Doyin Okupe, Nasir El-Rufai, Femi Fani-Kayode and Atiku Abubakar. Midfielders: Chibuike Amaechi, Jonah Jang, Yakubu Dogara, Rochas Okorocha, Ike Ekweremadu, David Mark and  Aminu Tambuwal. Strikers: Bukola Saraki, Buruji Kashamu, Dino Melaye, Kashim Shettima and Festus Keyamo. This World Cup go bloody o.”

    And this: “I’m calling on all my friends who are true soccer lovers. They should contribute money for me to go to Russia for the World Cup. When I return, I will brief them fully.”

    Good luck to the Super Eagles.

  • A chance encounter with Obasanjo

    FORMER President Olusegun Obasanjo has been busy lately. He is full of energy, the type that makes a young man envious. Since he announced the formation of a Coalition for Nigeria Movement (CNM), which has morphed into the African Democratic Congress (ADC), he has been travelling, pushing hard for  President Muhammadu Buhari’s defeat in next year’s election. He had earlier advised Buhari not to run.

    Obasanjo has been in Benue to mourn the victims of the bandits’ attacks and he was in Akure to woo Afenifere leaders. While on the recruitment shuttle, the former President was hit with the allegation that his administration spent $16b on power without any result.

    Of course, Obasanjo replied in a vitriolic manner.

    Just before he settled down to do some other things, the former President was reminded of how his administration allegedly removed governors from office in a reign of sheer impunity. He is yet to reply to this. Besides, videos of his appearance on the BBC programme, “Hard Talk”, have suddenly flooded the social media – all in a bid to puncture his anti-corruption credentials.

    What are Obasanjo’s thoughts on these and other matters? What is his next move likely to be? Does he really believe that he is on the right track? Will he change his mind about Buhari?

    Nobody has answers to these and many other questions being asked in town. Will an encounter with the former president provide answers to these questions? Let us conjure up such an encounter with reporters at the Lagos Airport.

    Obasanjo saunters into the hall on his way to the Presidential Lodge. Reporters rush to interview him. He looks at them and frowns. He continues to walk away.

    Reporter: Good afternoon,Your Excellency. May we have a minute with you on some national issues?

    Obasanjo stops. He waves  at the horde of reporters and walks away. One of the reporters repeats the question. The former President beckons to him, draws him close and knocks his head twice.

    “Oya, two questions. If you ask me more than two questions, you get two more knocks. Is that clear?”

    Reporter:” Sir, this allegation about your administration spending $16b on power without result and you boasting about that; are you really proud of what you did in that sector? Don’t you smell corruption here?

    Obasanjo (Raising his right hand and pointing a finger at the reporter): “I hope nobody sent you to embarrass me or get me angry unnecessarily. What do you know about corruption? (Hmm…hmmm… hmmm. He clears his throat). You see, Mr Reporter or whatever they call you or you call yourself, for there to be corruption, there are certain conditions that must be present. There must be the bribe, the giver and the taker. Tell me, all the probes that had been conducted on this matter, have I, Olusegun Aremu Okikiola Obasanjo, been indicted?

    “I have nothing to say; go and read my book. I have answers for you and people like you who, with due respect, talk nonsense about what they know nothing about.

    “If they say there is no power, let them go to the ports where the equipment were left to rot away. If they are not pleased, let them go to the various sites of the projects. If they still can’t find the power they are looking for, dat na dem toro. For me o, anytime they are ready to probe the matter, I dey kampe; I’m ready.”

    “Sir, you were in Akure the other day to plead with Afenifere leaders to join you in the rescue mission you claim to be leading. Now, people are saying, how do you want the leaders to trust you after deceiving them in 2003 when the PDP swept the Southwest and rolled back its progressive credentials?”

    Obasanjo (raising his right hand and frowning. He adjusts his glasses.) With due respect; I’m sure you were sent. How can anybody say I deceived them and that my coalition is on a mission to deceive?  Absolute nonsense. As for PDP, I resigned from their party a long time ago to become a statesman and … .

    “Yes, Your Excellency. That is the point. People say what you’re doing now is beyond statesmanship and that it is pure politics. They say you’re attempting to tell Nigerians who to choose. In fact, some say it is an attempt to cover your failure as a president.”

    “Really? I dey laugh. They say I failed? Well, let them say whatever they like. I remain a statesman. Will I say because I’m a statesman I should allow Nigeria to drift? No way. Anybody who says I should keep quiet is trying to insult me and I won’t take that. I won’t. Go and tell them at the Villa or wherever they say they are. Anybody who says I should keep quiet about Nigeria, I am ready to go konko bilo with the person.”

    “Sir, Prof Itse Sagay (SAN) is quoted as saying that if you’re put on trial for alleged corruption, heaven will not fall. In fact, he said your administration has been one of the most corrupt in Nigeria’s history, that you act like a saint when you are ‘the most stained’”.

    “Sagay? Who is that? He said that? When? You see, that is absolute nonsense. I fought corruption. I set up the EFCC and put that boy, emm…emm Nuhu, Nuhu Ribadu in charge. I set up also the ICPC. How then can you say I’m corrupt? I’m the only leader who has been examined by the anti-corruption agencies and found to be clean. Yes.”

    “Your Excellency, people allude to the Halliburton scandal over which some people have gone to jail in the United States. They say it happened under your watch and it was a monumental case of corruption.”

    “Halliburton? Yes. Did they mention my name? If it happened under my administration nko? Did anybody find any bribe in my sokoto pocket? Am I responsible for the corruption of every Nigerian? If they say Nigerian officials collected Halliburton bribe, tell me, is that Obasanjo? Please, don’t annoy me. With due respect, can you see a former European leader and ask him such questions? Halliburton my foot! Besides, that is an allegation. I don’t dwell on allegations, but solid, concrete evidence. If anybody has such evidence, a proof of my involvement, let him bring it up. I’m ready to face him in any court.”

    “Is it true that you said those supporting the Buhari administration are morons?”

    “Are you a moron? If you are not a moron, why bother about that? Why do you want to know what I said and what I did not say? Don’t I have a right to say what I like?”

    “Sir, what people are saying is that that is hate speech, which is unexpected of a statesman like you.”

    “Hate speech. What do you know about hate speech?  How old are you? Once I have spoken, I just move on. Chikena!. If anybody is offended, that is not my problem. In any case, what is your problem; are you a moron?”

    More questions, but Obasanjo walks away. No smiles and no byes as the reporters turn back.

     

    Love conquers all

    HOW do you assure and reassure a woman that you are head over heels for her? Do you just sing some romantic songs or compose some moving poems? Do you take her on a walk, holding her by the hand and telling her beautiful stories, laughing and blowing kisses? Or sit there in a restaurant, dimmed lights, slow songs wafting softly through invisible speakers and half-filled wine glasses? Hugs and kisses?
    That was then. Love has since found its love in more seductive phenomena. Call it cash or materialism or whatever suits your fancy.

    Davido
    Davido

    When songster Davido decided to give his girl Chioma “assurance”, he rolled out a N45m Porsche for her to drive round town. Then some busybodies said it was a used car that cost far less than the announced price. The musician reached for the receipt and flaunted it in the social media. Were they pleased? No. They said the crooner may have been scammed.

    Davido has held his peace. Why not? After all, Chioma has got the “assurance ” she wanted and the singer has got the love he badly desired. All is well that ends well, according to the Bard, who himself was love-struck at one point or the other.

    Another public figure, also love-struck, has given his woman “assurance”. On her birthday, he landed her a brand new G-Wagon that cost a fortune. The lucky woman and her excited friends were happy. They danced and danced.

    The limo was said to have cost N100m. The social media was on fire: Why should he do that in a country where many go to bed hungry and angry, their tummies rumbling and their hearts grumbling? Why that when many are out of school for lack of school fees?
    It is to his credit that House Majority Leader Femi Gbajabiamila has taken it all on the chin. He has remained tight-lipped in the face of the unwarranted assault on his freedom of choice. Who is he who has never been in love? Let him cast the first stone.

    Love conquers all! Ask Samson, the biblical superman. Ask Clinton. Ask the former International Monetary Fund (IMF) chief Dominique Strauss-Khan. Ask former World Bank chief Paul Wolfowitz. Ask former United States President Bill Clinton. Ask President Donald Trump.

  • Governors on the art of connecting

    MANY of them are young, bold and brave. They are audacious and inventive, unlike some of their forerunners who were staid, laid back and conservative.

    Not for them the deep, reflective language of old, aimed at pricking the people’s conscience and stoking the fire of patriotism. Nor those dull, drab and sober campaign phrases and songs that just won’t “connect” or show that “they are on ground”. Nor the stale theory of “my work should speak for me”. No.

    Regrettably, besides some awards that are not worthy of the fine wood with which the plaques are made, our governors hardly get any credit for their exertions.

    Take, for instance, the youthful Kogi State Governor, Yahaya Bello. Nothing the hard working man has done – no matter how worthy – has gone down well with his large army of critics. They describe him as lazy and his performance as lacklustre. Some even ask:  “What do you expect of a man who was dashed the governor’s seat, just like that?”

    I disagree. Where were they, the armchair critics and busybodies hiding behind the veneer of “social critic and rights activist” when Bello hit the road, a pack of fliers on one hand, to advise drivers against over-speeding? Besides, he mounted the traffic warden’s stand to ensure a smooth flow of vehicles in the capital city, Lokoja.

    If these would not convince the so-called critics that Yahaya is “connecting” and about his passion for the job, how about the way he handled the herders-farmers’ clashes? Bello visited a frontline monarch and warned him to support cattle colony–the Buhari administration’s controversial answer to the bloody clashes – or risk deposition. Many were shocked at his audacity. Did His Excellency get any credit for this? No. Instead, he was tongue-lashed for being so harsh and brash. Some even accused him of immaturity.

    The state, like many others, has been finding it difficult to pay its workers. Instead of showing understanding–declining allocation from the federal purse and rising cost of governance, among other factors – Bello has been labelled a spendthrift. Not one to be caught panting for an answer, the governor plunked down some millions to buy space in a newspaper for the periodic publication of the names and offices of those who got paid. Ever since, nobody has accused the government of not “connecting”workers.

    Remarkable as Bello’s inventiveness has been, it is incomparable with the creativity of his Ekiti State counterpart, Mr – no; I take that back–Chief Ayo Fayose, “architect of modern Ekiti, leader of the opposition, Osokomole”. When the herders’ problem was knocking at the door in Ekiti, His Excellency ordered youths to seize any cow that strayed into a farm and have it for dinner. Not one who fails to lead by example, the governor actually joined some youths to hunt down a big cow and, in the full glare of all, cameras flashing, dealt with the animal.

    But the herders would not relent. They threatened violence. His Excellency, not one to be intimidated, gathered all the hunters in the state – guns, cutlasses, knives, catapults, amulets and all–to issue a counter threat. Herders who would not control their herds would pay dearly for their insensitivity, he said.

    To demonstrate the seriousness of the matter at hand, His Excellency was decked out in a military camouflage. He was in a war mood. When it was widely rumoured that killer-herdsmen were on the way, it was to the security agencies that governor cried out for help. And people were asking: where are the hunters?

    In his early days in office, Fayose would not just join firemen at work whenever there was fire in the capital city, Ado- Ekiti. He would mount the fire vehicle’s driver’s seat and, on getting to the scene, grab the hose and train it on the inferno. Heroism.

    This year’s Federal Government budget was sent to the National Assembly on November 7, last year. It was passed only last week. Not so in Ekiti. When Fayose took the state’s budget to the House, he strolled in with his own gavel – a source said a replica of the mace was in his car, should the original disappear – and a crowd of supporters.

    “If you want this budget passed speedily, say yes,” he announced, after stressing that the “state is my constituency”. The gallery yelled: “Yeh.” If you want this budget passed speedily, say yes.” “Yeh!”. “Those who want the budget passed speedily, say yes”. “Yeh!.”Those who doesn’t  (sic) want this budget to be passed speedily, say no.” All was quiet. Fayose banged the table with the gavel. Applause. Applause.

    His Excellency has since graduated from munching corn on the street and eating at roadside canteens. He now serves himself, stirring the stew of itinerary food vendors and turning cassava powder into gari. An average Ekiti resident owes his rotundity and chubby cheeks to Stomach Infrastructure, the governor’s popular poll harvesting strategy.  The governor’s opponents may accuse him of many things, not “connecting” is surely not one of them. He “connects”.

    In Kaduna, Nasir El-Rufai has been barging into one controversy after the other. He ordered beggars off the street–to have a spick and span environment. That worthy cause became a subject of attack from (who else?) his political opponents, who claimed that it was insensitive.

    When bandits posing as herdsmen stormed the state, His Excellency simply called them and settled. Those who were never privy to the arrangement accused El-Rufai of bribing murderers. Haba! Trust the governor; he simply ignored them.

    A splinter group of the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) recently set up a parallel secretariat. Unable to stand such irritants, El-Rufai ordered in the bulldozer to level the new secretariat, just as the headquarters of the El-Zak Zaky group was demolished to have peace. Now, many states, I am told, are planning to visit Kaduna for lessons in how to make demolition a state policy that can bring peace when all else fails. Yet, his opponents say he is not “connecting”. Not one to bandy words with such people, His Excellency simply rained curses on them and incited the public against them.

    Whenever Owelle Rochas Okorocha screams “my people, my people”, Imo State residents reply: “Our governor, our governor.” Such is the bond between the leader and his followers. He “connects”. Routinely, His Excellency would take the seat at a roadside corn vendor’s stand, the vendor’s baby on his lap, in one instance, and turn the stuff to ensure it is well roasted.

    That, however, was in the early days of his tenure. Now, Okorocha is taking loftier steps, such as the creation of the Ministry of Happiness and Purpose Fulfilment, headed by His Excellency’s sister. Those who know nothing about governance are accusing Okorocha of making his sister the head of the ministry. Who else can the governor trust with such a sensitive portfolio? He has simply ignored them. But those who are saying Okorocha plans to install his son-in-law as his successor would not be ignored. He is teaching them new lessons in politics and governance.

    Owerri ‘s landscape has been beautified by statues of some prominent Africans, among them former South African President Jacob Zuma, who was forced out of office for alleged corruption. Seeing the statues alone, many residents have confessed, is enough armour against the hunger induced by non-payment of pensions and salaries. Yet, His Excellency gets no kudos but knocks for this creativity.

    Many were shocked when Kano State Governor Abdullahi Ganduje visited a project site and tried to “connect” with the workers. He filled a head pan with sand, lifted it with both hands and placed it on his head. The crowd roared.

    It used to be mass weddings only in Kano. Now, tea vendors, known as “mai shai” in the local language, are being empowered with milk, sugar and other ingredients of their trade. Everybody is happy that His Excellency “connects”.

    Apparently not to be seen as not “connecting”, Kebbi State Governor Atiku Bagudu led the executive council out on a sanitation drive. His Excellency jumped into a stinking gutter and began to shovel out the dirt. He forgot to add that it was simply part of “connecting”. It was all in a bid to fight malaria, an aide said.

    Some idle fellows have been attacking Benue State Governor Samuel Ortom for giving out branded wheelbarrows to youths. They said other governors were building roads and bridges and hospitals and schools and houses, but he chose to give out what they called a symbol of poverty. A smart fellow, Ortom simply dismissed them as “jealous”.

    After all, what is governance if  not “connecting”?

     

    Buhari, Obasanjo $16b power (no) show

    PRESIDENT Muhammadu Buhari’s remark on the power situation has set many people fighting in the dark. He told members of the Buhari Support Organisation (BSO) who visited him at the Villa: “One of the former Heads of State…was bragging that he spent more than 16 billion American dollars (not naira) on power. Where is the power? Where is the power?”

    Buhari and Obasanjo
    Buhari and Obasanjo

    Although his name was not mentioned, former President Olusegun Obasanjo apparently felt the innuendo was clear. He picked up the gauntlet. He replied: “The answer is simple. The power is in the seven National Integrated Power Projects and 18 gas turbines that Chief Obasanjo’s successor who originally made the allegation of $16b did not clear from the ports for over a year and the civil works done on the sites.”

    Fine. But there is a problem:  an uncle of my friend whose residence has been plunged into darkness for God-knows-when has been away at the Lagos port. “I’m searching for power,” he told his daughter who called his mobile phone to find out where he had been all-day. “Obasanjo says it is in some turbines here. Who knows, I may be lucky to get some.”

    And the power game goes on.

  • Where are they now?

    “Hey, General, look here, look here. Listen to me and do what I say,” he said in a sharp, raucous voice.

    “You can’t get promotion without me sitting on top of your military council. If I am a happy man tomorrow night the sky is your limit, and at the end of the day if I’m unhappy; I’m not here for tea party; I’m on a special assignment by the president.”  For a short while, all was quiet. And the confabulation continued.

    That was strange. A general taking orders from a civilian. But he was not just serious. It was to win a gubernatorial election, no less. But to the small circle of power mongers, it was a war to capture an enemy territory. Dear reader, no prize for guessing who the minister was.

    Musiliu Obanikoro, now a member of the All Progressives Congress (APC), after jumping the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) ship, is itching to return to the Senate. But many are questioning his democratic credentials and asking: has he settled his matter with the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC)?

    But Koro, as his admirers call him, is just one of the many men of power and means who had so much influence on our lives in the recent past. It is pertinent to ask: Where are they now?

    Jelili Adeshiyan (you remember him?), the former Police Affairs minister, was Obanikoro’s comrade-in-arms in the last governorship election in Ekiti State. The PDP chief had a big ambition that the weight of office would not allow him to fulfil. He looked forward to realising it after leaving office. The dream – to physically beat up the late Isiaka “Serubawon” Adeleke (of fond memories), the first civilian governor of Osun State.

    A source told me that Adeshiyan never fulfilled his dream until Adeleke passed on. Since he congratulated Senator Ademola Adeleke, who won the Osun West Senatorial District election in 2017, nothing has been heard of him. The source, who pleaded to remain anonymous, said confidentially that Adeshiyan had been busy sharpening his pugilistic skills to be on top of the PDP crisis in the state.

    Before the coming of the Dr Goodluck Jonathan administration, little was known about Chief Government Ekpemupolo (simply known as Tompolo) beyond the creeks of the Niger Delta where he was adored by some and feared by all. He was believed to be the head of a militant group that blew up oil pipelines at the least provocation. By the time the administration was in full swing, Tompolo had become a big businessman who had done so well for himself –  mouth-watering contracts, beautiful homes, luxury living in big hotels and two private jets.

    He has since turned a fugitive, running away from the law. Just last month he turned 47. Ijaw youths then pleaded with the government to drop charges against him because he is “a true hero”. Tompolo was rumoured to have fled to Libya, but his associates insist he is hale and hearty in Nigeria. Since all seems to be quiet in the creeks nowadays, will the government allow the chief to enjoy his rest?

    Former Attorney-General Mohammed Bello Adoke has been battling to distance himself from the $1.3b Malabu oil deal scandal. The government has been struggling to know who got what in the deal in which Nigeria is believed to have been grossly cheated. Adoke has been overseas from where he has been claiming that he acted on former President Jonathan’s orders.

    Adoke assured all – his friends and foes – that he was in school overseas. As soon as he was done with his studies, he promised, he would fly home to exculpate himself. More than one year after, the former chief law officer is yet to show up in Abuja. Those who know him closely insist that he is not the type to bolt from the law.

    But the question remains, when will Adoke return home to defend his integrity?

    Former Senate President David Bonaventure Mark has been quiet since he left the much-coveted seat. He hardly contributes to debates on the floor of the upper chamber. Some of his opponents claim that he rarely attends sittings; others insist, without proof anyway, that he has been away overseas tending his golf courses and working on his swing in a bid to return with a bang to the game the business of lawmaking did not let him face squarely.

    I can confirm that the former Senate President is in Abuja. In fact, he recently issued a statement on the killings in his home-state of Benue.

    Former presidential spokesman Doyin Okupe, who was drafted into the Jonathan Campaign in 2015, has been unusually quiet. Has he returned to his long-abandoned medical practice? Is he chasing contracts all over the place?  Okupe and a few others with whom he worked were grabbed by the EFCC and asked to refund some money to which they were not entitled. It is not yet clear if Dr Okupe, a prince, paid back some cash or promised to do so.

    His picture bobbed up on the Internet the other day; he was prostrating for his former boss, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, whom he had lambasted severally. Is Okupe heading for the African Democratic Congress (ADC)?

    The ADC, remember, is the party that Obasanjo’s Coalition for Nigeria Movement (CNM), a symbol of the subterfuge and obfuscation with which many credit the former president, has morphed into. When Baba Iyabo publicly tore his PDP card and declared himself a statesman, many knew it was a question of time for him to return to politics – surreptitiously. Here we are.

    Nnamdi Kanu was everything that his followers desired – and more. He was believed to be imbued with spiritual powers. Some even confessed that upon touching his garment, their ailment disappeared. In fact, to many, he was the chosen one who would take them to the Promised Land.

    He lapped it all up – the adulation, the adoration and the reverence. The leader of the Independent Peoples of Biafra (IPOB) championed the cause of those wishing Biafra to happen. He talked tough. Then the military launched Operation Python Dance, which it swore was never aimed at the group and its leadership but criminals.

    A clash. And Kanu disappeared.  Ever since he left his Afara Ukwu, Abia State home in mysterious circumstances on September 14, last year, the IPOB chief has not said anything about the struggle that has cost many their lives, some their limbs and others their means of livelihood. He simply vanished. Incommunicado.

    Where is Kanu? Malaysia? Cameroon? Umuahia? Germany? Ghana? Honolulu? Chattanooga? Quagadougou? Not even the threat of action against those who stood surety for him would make the IPOB leader show up. Nor the arrest some days ago of some fellows described as Jewish worshippers in his home. Nor the protest of some of his sympathisers in London. Nor his family’s frustration over his sudden disappearance.

    After a long battle for the PDP leadership, which he lost, Ali Modu Sheriff  is back in the APC. Initially, his return was resisted by other party chiefs, who obviously felt Sheriff could not be trusted. Will Sheriff be at peace with Governor  Shettima? The PDP will never forget that a certain Sheriff almost killed and buried the party as it became a cesspool of crises, with its leaders abusing one another as if politics is all about acrimony.

    Will Sheriff stay in APC? That is a difficult question, considering his antecedent.

     

    Dino Melaye and other matters

    THE courts had a busy day yesterday. Senator Dino Melaye (Kogi West) got some respite from his battle of wits with the police. Justice Nasiru Ajanah of the Kogi State High Court sitting in Lokoja granted him bail in the sum of N10m. He considered his health challenge.

    In Abuja, the Senate lost its bid to stop Senator Obarisi Ovie Omo –Agege’s resumption.

    Melaye

    Also in Abuja, the High Court barred the police, the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Directorate of State Services (DSS) from searching Rivers State Governor  Nyesom Wike’s home. The order invoked memories of the perpetual injunction obtained by a former governor against arrest and probe by the security agencies.

    For Melaye, it is a well-deserved time-out. His fans-and foes- were already wondering  when  he would be strong enough to shoot another video, his favourite pastime, besides driving fast cars and heavy motorbikes. Now, they can rest assured that the distinguished senator will soon be back in the studio.

    A source has just told me that he plans to relive how he almost pre-empted the police plan to arraign him for alleged crimes in Kogi by jumping off a moving vehicle. No doubt it will be a box office hit.

  • In the throes of a drug epidemic

    HE drives into the bank premises rather scrappily. The two security guards are immediately jolted into action. They rush to direct him on where to park as he struggles to squeeze his Camry, the model Nigerians love calling Big Daddy, into a space that is obviously small for the car.

    His hair is twisted into little mounds. A thick gold chain is dangling from his neck. He disembarks from the car and turns his back to ensure that the doors are locked after pressing the remote key. His jeans trousers are down, fastened to the lower part of his buttocks with a thick leather belt, revealing a brownish boxer shorts His unbuttoned shirt reveals the wild hair on his chest. It is a hot, scorching day, but our man is decked out in a pair of long, loosely-laced boots, the type infantry men wear.

    He goes into the banking hall, a half-filled water bottle in his hand.  On the queue, he sips from the bottle occasionally. All eyes are on this patron, whom the guards describe as “an important guest”.

    This is the portrait of many of our youths. The feeding-bottle generation. They are hooked on drugs and various stimulants that make them get high – in a bid to fly far above the reality of life they are too scared to confront.

    Move over cannabis, heroin and cocaine; you belong in the old school. Now is the age of Science Students. Never mind that many schools have lost their laboratories to sheer neglect and the carelessness that rules our lives. Science nevertheless remains popular among the youth.  Ask Olamide, the singer whose new song, “Kosewe Kosegbo” is the toast of the hip hop world. It has become the signature tune of youths who are excited to get high.

    Codeine, tramadol and various substances are the new kings of the world of ecstasy in which many Nigerians are basking. They are inhaling lizard faeces and putting their noses in pit toilets. They smoke also match sticks- all to get high

    There are, also, all manner of drinks. Kerewa, Ogidiga, Bajinatu, Jigijigi and others. For Olamide, this is a lifestyle to be celebrated in a hit song, Kosewe kosegbo. The lyrics are exotic; only the initiated can understand them.

    Kosewe kosegbo, kosewe kosegbo.

    Won ti pomi gutter po; oju ti dirty 

    Won ti po chemical po; awon omo science students

    Eemo wolu; eni ire lo

    Ore mi ti high. O my gosh!

    What do we make of this? Do we begin to praise the singer’s creativity? Should it all be art for art’s sake? And check out the dance steps; the harmony between the sound and the movements is not decipherable.

    A drug epidemic is loosed on the land. Long before the BBC shot its moving (but not shocking) documentary that seems to have given us all a wake-up call, the Nigerian media had done so much about the drug problem. Nobody listened.

    The comedian, Akpororo, once told an interviewer that he got the materials for his jokes by watching mad people closely. That was in 2017. The number of victims of hard drug who have gone nuts in the street or are being restrained at various rehab centres has since risen. Is there a correlation  with  Akpororo’s rising profile?

    The problem is not only with our youths; it permeates all strata of the society. Men are involved. Women are involved. Professionals are involved. Gone are the days when it used to be the lot of motor park touts and thugs to be labelled drug addicts. Students now revel in it.

    Of Nigeria’s rising psychiatrist cases, the youth account for 85 per cent due to drug and substance abuse, according to the President of the Association of Psychiatrists in Nigeria, Taiwo Sheikh.  Their ages range between 18 and 38.

    It is wrong to think that this is a problem of the poor only. It is not. The children of the rich are involved. Our pharmacists and their marketers are involved. What do we make of the vendor who sold some 60 bottles of codeine to the BBC reporter? He even boasted that he could sell one million cartons of the syrup in one week. Is there a cough epidemic in Nigeria?

    Customs announced last Tuesday that a consignment of tramadol packaged as electrical materials had been seized at the Tin Can Island Port in Lagos. The cargo of death is worth N124million. In February, 3,623 cartons were seized. Greedy businessmen have found another route to blood money.

    Why is nobody talking about the danger the unregulated consumption of codeine and other drugs pose to health – organ failure, schizophrenia and others?

    A school proprietor once showed me a room in which students were tested for drugs. Some of those who failed the test are children of the rich and powerful, who fainted upon being told of their children’s situation. Some of such kids had cult signs on their bodies.

    The government has clamped a ban on codeine. That is not the way to go as the drug has its uses; it is the abuse we need to fight. One fellow found in the codeine ban an avenue for a joke. “If they ban codeine, let them take APC,” he said.

    This is beyond jokes. The other day in Lagos, a group of friends of another celebrated musician went out clubbing. One accepted a challenge to prove his absorptive capacity. He hit the battle so hard that he could barely walk. In the car, he collapsed into a deep sleep. By the time the team reached another club, he could not get off the car. He was left in there with the windows firmly shut. He died.

    The Kano rehab the BBC reporter visited is a scene of horror. Men screaming like animals. A man jumping up and down, yelling. He is chained to a tree, like many of the inmates, to restrain him. He is said to be undergoing withdrawal symptoms. A repentant 16-year-old girl battling addiction sends an urgent message to the youth:   stay away from codeine.

    Pharmaceutical giant Emzor’s cocaine line has been shut. The company says it is investigating its distribution chain to find out what went wrong.  Why did it not check if we had a cough epidemic as the bottom line was getting fat? And why did it take the airing of the BBC documentary for the anti-narcotics agents to move?

    Nowhere is free of this epidemic. The thugs who stormed the Senate to seize the mace were no doubt hooked on some strange substances. The fingers that pulled the trigger of the guns that shot more than 20 people, including women and children, in Offa, Kwara State, were surely no ordinary fingers. The robbers attacked five banks, carted away a fortune and celebrated their haul with a wild Champagne party. And they made a video of it. Wives are killing husbands. Husbands are killing their wives. Lawmakers talk like and act like gangsters.

    Some experts have recommended psychiatric tests for would-be public office holders. I back such a decision. There seems to be no rational explanation for the kind of stealing that went on as if it was a state policy in the 16 years the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) ran Nigeria. How many of the leaders of that time will pass such tests?

     

    And Evans cries in court

    Chukwudumemem Onwuamadike (alias Evans) is finding the reality of life in detention too much to handle. This is understandable. He used to live like a king, the head of an underworld gang that specialised in grabbing rich people and keeping them away until their families paid – in hard currency. He had beautiful houses, exotic cars, girlfriends and boys at his beck and call.

    All that collapsed on June 10 2017 when he was arrested in Lagos by the police who had described him as “the most brilliant, richest and craftiest kidnapper in the country’s history”.

    Evans refused to disembark from the prison van that brought him to court last Monday. He was protesting the condition of the Kirikiri Maximum Security Prison  in which he has been detained.

    Said Evans when he was eventually persuaded to come into the court: “Since I have been in the maximum prison, they have been maltreating me; no visit; they don’t feed me well. I have eye problems and I cannot see far.”

    Chukwudubem Onwuamadike, also known as Evans
    Chukwudubem Onwuamadike, also known as Evans

    He complained also of being beaten and kept in a solitary cell. At a point, Evans burst into tears. He actually cried. It is surprising to discover that a man who is believed to have a steely heart is also human–prone to emotions. It reminds one of the notorious armed robbery kingpin of the 80s, Anini, who, when asked how he felt about the fate awaiting him, following his arrest, said: “I am afraiding.”

    One of Evans’ victims, the pharmacist  Innocent Duru, was chained for five months before he escaped to tell the police his story. Evans has a right to his full rights as an accused is deemed innocent until the court pronounces him guilty. Even then, nobody seems interested in Evans’ theatrics. He will do well to stop grumbling and face his medicine with a straight face.