The Nation Newspaper

Category: Gbenga Omotoso

  • Making sense of these times

    When it rains, it pours. Indeed. So many things are happening in Nigeria at the same time and at such a breathtaking speed that leaves a commentator little or no room to gather his thoughts. We once thought that we had lost our ability to get shocked; how wrong we were.

    Hoodlums stormed the Senate and snatched away the mace. But for the gallantry of our policemen, the fleeing thugs would not have dropped the prized totem under a bridge in Abuja. A senator, in a desperate attempt to resist being taken away to his home-state, jumped off a moving car, got injured and was hospitalised. The President took cash from the Excess Crude Account to buy some fighter jets from the United States. Some senators are raising hell, calling for President Muhammadu Buhari’s impeachment.

    Gunmen stormed a church at dawn and killed two priests and many parishioners. Terrorism is on the loose, holding the land by the throat – in the guise of herdsmen-farmers clashes. There is tension everywhere as horror stalks the land.

    How do we make sense out of so much nonsense? What does the man in the street think of all this? Is he at peace or restless? I really do not know. As usual, the barber shop is the place to go on occasions, such as this. Where else do you have an army of experts on virtually every topic the brain could conceive, all rendering their expertise at no cost and with remarkable gusto?

    It is a very warm day, one of those days you wish the setting of the sun would be followed by a downpour to cool the earth. Some youths are kicking around a ball and screaming. From a lone speaker in front of the shop the music of Afrobeat legend “Confusion Break Bone (CBB)” is blaring.

    Two men are engaged in a game of draught. Others are watching with deep attention. The barber,wearing a pair of shorts and a T-shirt covered by a khaki apron that seems to be long overdue for the laundryman, is busy on a client’s hair.

    “Go down; more, oga,” the client says as the barber takes some steps back to survey his work. He shakes his head in confidence that the job is done, but the client orders him back.

    Suddenly, the soccer- crazy youths break into a song. “Baba oyoyo; baba oyoyo.”  All eyes turn to the door as a bearded old man saunters in, a big, old bag slung on his right shoulder.

    “Papi D!” the barber calls out.

    “Thank you for the warm reception – always. I’m thrilled,” he says as he dumps his bag on the floor and plunks himself down on a seat with a dirty, exposed foam.

    “Water, sir?” the barber asks Papi D.

    “No, thanks. I would rather take some holy water. We are in spiritual times and a sensitive man must always be in the spirit.” He opens the bag, which is full of an assortment of indescribable materials. Junk. He pulls out a small bottle of whisky, opens it and takes a little with which he rinses his mouth. He squeezes his face and coughs sharply before smiling as if to reassure everyone that all is well.”

    “I greet you all. It’s been a long time. I salute your courage and patience in the face of this incredible provocation and irritation. Stay firm,” Papi D says to no one in particular.

    One of those playing draught, wearing a May Day hat with the inscription,  “Worker is king; respect him”, breaks the short silence.

    “Papi, what is going on in the Senate? Is it true that Omo-Agege ushered in the thugs who snatched away the mace?”

    The old fellow lets out a long laughter, begins to cough “gbau, gbauu, gbauuu!” He wipes his mouth with a brownish handkerchief that surely used to be white. “I’m sorry for that short break. You see, the mace matter is simple. A man talks in the chamber. He is seen as a rebel because he would not flow with the tide. He is suspended, but he insists the punishment is harsh and illegal. He vows to seek justice. That is the difference between an Omo-Agege, the original Agege pickin, Omo-Warri and Omo- V.I., Victoria Island, Omo-Ikoyi and Omo-Maitama.”

    “Don’t get me wrong,” he continued.   “It is wrong to invite thugs into the chamber, but how did we get to that level?”

    “Sir, how about the aircraft purchase palaver; is the President right to have spent such a huge amount of money, $496million, without appropriation? Are senators not right to have moved against him?”

    “Senators are right. But the President has been made to look as if he just dipped his hand in the till for pecuniary interest. Another arms purchase scandal.  No. The cash was paid directly to the United States treasury. No middle men, no contractors and no consultants. It was an emergency, a response to the exigencies of a war and there was a deadline to be met.”

    “So why the move to impeach Buhari?”

    “You see, it’s all about due process. The other time when the CBN man was summoned, it was over a simple matter. ‘Everyday we hear the CBN has intervened in the forex market, $250million, $200million, $300million; who are the contractors? Was there competitive bidding?

    “Was there any tender? We must ensure due process in these transactions, you know,’ the lawmakers said. I salute their sense of duty.”

    “Papi D, how about the Dino Melaye matter; he has been having a running battle with the police and Governor Yahaya Bello, who is rumoured to be angry because he invested a fortune in the failed project to recall Melaye?”

    “The Melaye matter has some spiritual connotation. Papi D reaches for the bottle again. And the etymology of the words ‘me’ (I never) and ‘laye’ (dreamt it). If a man who never dreamt of riding a bicycle suddenly finds himself cruising in the air, he may start losing his balance. Simple.” Melaye (I never dreamt I could be this big). The trouble is with the name.

    “As for Bello, if he loses a fortune in the Melaye matter, it is a case of a fortunate man, who does not know how fortunate he has been, investing a fortune in a misfortune. No case.”

    “Former President Olusegun Obasanjo is reported to have been praying that God who removed Abacha will help to remove Baba Buhari.”

    “You see. I have said that these are spiritual times. When Obasanjo announces that he has been praying, we should be at the alert.

    Remember when the man was said to be gunning for a third term and he had to leave office, he said, ‘Me, third term; how many presidents do you want to make of me? I have never failed to get anything that I want. If I wanted a third term I would have prayed for it and God would have answered my prayer’.

    “If Buhari’s supporters allow Obasanjo to get God’s attention before them, that may be dangerous; let them move fast. If a man claims to have God’s direct line and assurance that whatever he asks Him he must get, you need to watch him closely. ”

    “You are right, Papi D. Obasanjo has set up a third force, a coalition with which he hopes will lead Buhari’s defeat in 2019.”

    “Listen, young man. A coalition founded on intrigues and emotions will thrive in confusion and crash in commotion. Chikena!”

    A commercial motorcycle pulls up just by the door, its exhaust belching out thick, white smoke. “Short break,” says Papi D as he springs up from his seat, heaves his bag onto his right shoulder, rushes out and mounts the motorcycle, which hums its way into the cloudy evening.

    Fall of a Senior Advocate

    THE glowing career of a Senior Advocate of Nigerian (SAN) has collapsed at the gates of a Lagos prison, Joseph Nwobike must be ruing the day he offered two Justices some money to pervert the course of justice in matters before  their Lordships. He also lied to the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).

    He is to spend 30 days in prison for sending text messages to a judicial officer to influence the assignment of several cases to a particular judge.  Justice R.A. Adebiyi of the Lagos High Court, sentencing Nwobike, said his fate would send a strong signal that the Federal Government’s anti-corruption war is no fluke.

    His lawyer, Wale Akoni (SAN), pleaded for leniency. Justice Adebiyi said Nwobike had brought the legal trade to shame. She considered his unblemished record, his comportment in court and other factors in reducing the two years prescribed jail term to 30 days.

    Six of the several cases Nwobike wanted assigned went to  his preferred judge. There are many players in the game in which Nwobike has burnt his fingers badly. We should not scorn him; he is only one of many who are involved in such shameful enterprises. The drive for success could be so overwhelming that many can cross the red line of decency to attain the goal through fraud–just to earn some accolades from a dangerously permissive society.

    Justice Akanbi deserves praise for exhibiting courage and not sentiment. The silk’s fall is indeed a warning to all those involved in the manipulation of the judiciary that it s time to change.

     

  • Oyegun’s tenure and APC’s future

    ALL Progressives Congress (APC) Chairman John Odigie-Oyegun’s political future is hanging in the balance, with the President leaving no one in doubt that he will not back any attempt to elongate the tenure of the National Working Committee (NWC).

    Poor Oyegun. He is set to quit a job he has done with so much passion and in strange ways that have kept people asking if he thought it was a long beach carnival that would never end. Even if he thought so, he must have realised now that that reasoning has no basis. The party is getting set for a convention to elect new officials who will run its affairs. And the road show will come to a screeching stop. History will then take over to deliver its verdict on his role in how a party that came with so much promise almost slipped off the track as discipline broke down and its leaders began to carve out fiefdoms for themselves.

    The dream of an elongated tenure collapsed when President Muhammadu Buhari made it clear that he would not advise the party to do anything illegal. He said: “I think if we deviate from constitutional provisions, we might be endangering the fortunes of our party. If the tenure of our party executives can be legally faulted, then, it means that any nomination and primary election that they may conduct can also be faulted.”

    Despite the dictates of the party’s constitution, Oyegun, buoyed by a group of party chiefs with poor vision, was ready to cling on to his job until the President weighed in on the side of the law.

    There are challenges in the APC, a party built on the finest principles of progressive democracy, rule of law and welfarism.  It got overwhelmed by the very circumstances of its birth, being a child of many parents with various orientations and  principles. The party is not as cohesive as it used to be. Most of the state chapters are troubled. Besides, some of its leading lights, blinded by sheer ambition, are insincere. These are some of the factors that have corraded its ability to run the government in a way that should have earned it a standing ovation from Nigerians who invested so much hope in it.

    But, how did it get to this stage? Let’s begin from the beginning. Immersed in the euphoria of its victory at the poll, the party forgot that it needed a solid base in the legislature to face the challenges of governance. It paid little attention to the election of officers at the National Assembly. The unforced error that culminated in the emergence of Ike Ekweremadu as Deputy Senate President  has haunted the party to date. The question many were asking when the fatal mistake was made is, where is the party’s leadership?

    The Oyegun team was asleep. By the time it woke up, the curtain had been drawn on who got what at the National Assembly. The party that set the dinner table was scrambling for crumbs. If the party’s role in the Assembly debacle could be explained away as mere intrigues of politics and power game, not so that of the Kogi governorship election.

    The APC was heading for victory in the election with the late Abubakar Audu as its candidate. All was well. Until the eve of the announcement of the winner. Audu died. The end? Not quite. The announcement could have been made and Audu’s running mate, Hon. James Abiodun  Faleke, should have been asked to step forward for the prize. Oyegun did not think so.

    Goaded on by external forces -some spoke of personal considerations – Oyegun drafted in an outsider, a man who had worked for the opposition after being bitter that he lost the party’s ticket, to step onto the podium and be handed the trophy. Enter Yahaya Bello, Governor of Kogi State.

    Today, Kogi residents are celebrating as if it is Christmas that they have Bello as their governor. He rules with a rod of iron. He would not brood any voice of dissent. He has been kept busy by the factionalisation of the party and the antics of Senator Dino Melaye, who has taken his case against the governor to the marketplace, composing songs on video to scorn His Excellency. Monarchs are warned to toe the government’s line or risk removal. When civil servants complained that they were being owed salaries, Bello knocked the bottom out of their case by taking huge spaces in a newspaper to publish periodically the list of those who got paid.

    Now, Kogi residents and its leading lights are asking: “How did we get this lucky?”

    Back to Oyegun. The President, in an attempt to unite the party ahead of the 2019 elections, appointed Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu to lead its reconciliation battle. The astute politician set his hand to the plough. He soon realised that there was a stumbling block – the leadership of the party was pulling back the hand of the clock. Tinubu wrote to Oyegun, asking him to unclog  the peace train. He would not budge, even after writing that he would back the peace moves.

    There is no doubt that Oyegun’s successor has a Herculean task ahead of him. The party is buffeted by internal crises in many states. There are battles of ego and clashes of personal interests. In Kano, Governor Abdullahi Ganduje and his predecessor, Senator Rabiu Musa Kwankwaso, are at each other’s throat. Bauchi State Governor Mohammed Abubakar and House of Representatives Speaker Yakubu Dogara are no friends. The three senators from the state are also not in good terms with the governor.

    In Katsina, Governor Aminu Masari is battling a group of party chiefs who have disagreed with him. Ondo State Governor Rotimi Akeredolu and Senator Ajayi  Boroffice would not sit together. Kaduna State Governor  Nasir El-Rufai is locked in a clash of principle -and egoism –  with Senator Shehu Sani and Senator Suleiman Hunkuyi. When a faction of the party, led by Hunkuyi, set up an office, the governor sent in the bulldozer to level it.

    Instead of defending the party’s integrity and ensuring a sound future for it, the leadership has been engrossed in an egomaniacal voyage to nowhere. Those interested in its health believe that a surgical operation will not do the job, but a complete organ replacement will – ahead of the 2019 elections.

    Will Oyegun contest for his job at the May 14 convention? That is neither here nor there. His home-state Edo is backing former Governor Adams Oshiomhole. Others in the Southsouth do not seem to agree that the former labour leader should get the job.

    But 17 governors- the party has 24 – have told the President that their money is on Oshiomhole. It will be futile for Oyegun to soldier on. The show has ended. It’s time to go home.

     

    A song for Dino Melaye

    WHEN it rains, it pours. Senator Dino Melaye has been in and out of trouble recently. He is in court fighting to fend off an attempt by his constituents to recall him. The police charged him with giving false information after he claimed that assassins were after him. Then, the police arrested some suspects who said the senator armed them with guns – and cash. Ever since, it has been a kind of hide and seek between the law and the lawmaker.

    The matter took a new twist on Monday when Melaye was stopped at the Abuja Airport from travelling to Morocco. He created a scene. Immigration officials said they had instructions to stop him.

    dino melaye
    Melaye

    From the airport, the show moved to Melaye’s home. The police laid a siege to the place. Then, some Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) bearing placards stormed the scene, demanding that the siege be lifted. Hours later, Melaye turned himself in to the police. He was hustled into a police vehicle to be driven to Kogi State. Melaye kicked.

    As the story goes, the senator jumped out of the vehicle – in a desperate attempt to stall the Kogi State trip – which was forced to stop by a group of thugs. He was injured and taken to a hospital.

    The Senate leadership was at the hospital to see Melaye yesterday. He is said to be doing well. Good. One hopes the Melaye matter will soon be settled. Even buffoonery in high places, such as the Senate, has its intrinsic value. Melaye has been posting on the social media videos of his clownish thoughts and actions.

    Another video, I am told, was due just before the incident that has kept him bedridden. Now, his fans are unhappy that they have been deprived of the opportunity of seeing his new video. I have learnt of their plan to hire a lawyer who will file a case to enforce their fundamental human rights.

    And now a song for the senator: “Kangun kangun kangun, a kangun sibi kan o… kangun kangun kangun a kangun sibi kan.”  (No matter how long the ding-dong, it will end somewhere).

     

     

  • Encounter with a Nigerian immigrant

    HE looks well fed, hale and hearty. Dressed in a pair of blue jeans trousers, a yellow T-shirt and a fine leather jacket, he is quite different from many of those hanging out at a public park nearby and smoking like a chimney- apparently in a desperate attempt to ward off the cold tearing at their dark faces.

    He has some shopping bags in both hands. Beside him is a young white woman. We enter a shop and there he is right behind us. “Hallo, hallo! Where are you guys from?” he asks and drops his bags. “We are Nigerians. Is anything the matter?” “No. I’m Yoruba and I heard you speak the language and I was excited. My name is Ola. This is my wife (a friendly smile lights up her face as she stretches out her hands). “Buongiorno (good morning),” she says in Italian.

    “I suspect that you are new in this city. Whatever I can help you with, let me know. I’m off work today,” Ola says with the confidence of an indigene of this historic city. And so we hit it off right away. We struck a friendship not because he showed me the city; nor because he offered me “banku”, the local staple; nor because he got me onto the tramp without hassles and took me to a shop for some good bargain.

    Ola is an immigrant full of real life stories that sound like fiction. He symbolises the can-do spirit of the Nigerian youth, who is full of anger over the conspiracy of the elite that has constrained his talents and boundless energy.

    I have read many stories on the horrors of illegal migration. Death in the Sahara Desert and at sea after several hours of travelling on turbulent waters that seem to be furious at those who won’t let it be at peace. Detention camps, rejection and frustration. For the illegal immigrant, the lot is a full package of horrendous experiences.

    I got a first-hand account of it all from my new friend, Ola whom I met last week in Messina, the alluring Italian town in Sicily, which is famous for its link to the mob. “How did you get here?” I ask him. “Ah, baba, it is a long story, but we thank God.”

    He looks at me, smiles and begins to reel off a long tape of incredible tales. A barber, he used to live in Ibadan with his mother. A customer of his, who found him likeable, promised to help him get to Europe. Ola was excited. His dreams – a great time in the West, good food, 24 hours electricity, security, jobs, health care and more – will, at last become real. He plunged into it with his life savings. After a short prayer from his mother, our man was set for the dreamland.

    “I noticed that she was crying, but her tears were just dropping inside her; her face was dry. She was saying, I learnt people die on this kind of journey, but you won’t die. You and I will see again -alive – and laugh, so long as I have not done  evil to any man.”

    Ola landed in Libya on the first leg of his journey to Europe and discovered a hellish and brutish life. There is little law and order. Guns are dirt cheap. And so is life. Even kids carry sophisticated rifles just like toys. “I was on my way home one evening when I saw some boys a few metres away. I was carrying a poly bag of rice, my dinner which I planned to share with an army of boys in the rundown apartment that had been my home since I got there. I wanted to turn back, but that would have encouraged them to shoot at me. They were all armed,” says Ola, his voice quaking.

    He detoured to a nearby food shop and got out a few minutes later to shake off his would-be assailants. “I walked fast; I dared not run. Anybody can shoot, believing that one is a criminal. As I tried to turn a bend, a shot rang out. Another. Yet another and another. I kept walking fast, even as I was scared stiff. In fact, I thought I had been hit,” Ola recalls.

    At the dungeon of a home he shared with others who are also seeking the El Dorado, he announced soberly that he had been shot, but no wound was found. On the bag of food, just four big bullet holes gaped at them. The bullets tore through bag but spared Ola’s body. A miracle.

    “I saw many strange things. People were being sold as slaves. Women were raped with impunity. It was one huge jungle of wild animals tearing at one another,” Ola recalls.

    When he had saved enough money to embark on the journey to Europe, he joined others on a boat meant for short trips with about 50 people. They were over 150 onboard. “A good friend of mine, an Ijaw man, was in charge. It was not really a boat; just a raft. We all prayed before setting out very early in the morning. In fact, we agreed to fast. All was well for a few hours. It was very cold. The boat nearly capsized several times. People would scream and shout prayers to God. Then we realised that we were adrift. The journey had become perilous. We’d lost our way,” Ola says, his voice shaking and his face betraying some emotion.

    “Baba, it was a day of tears. We lost hope. And my friend (I had paid his way several times), the Ijaw man, suddenly started misbehaving, I think the myth that evil spirits inhabit the seas is real. He had been seized by a strange spirit of the water. He would not listen to anybody, including me. He threatened to kill us all and swim ashore. People started crying. Many broke their fast. We had many packets of biscuits in the boat.

    I said my prayers, my last, I had thought. And I broke my fast. I thought it would not be nice to meet God with an empty stomach.”

    But, help seemed to be on the way. A ship showed up some kilometres away, but the immigrants’ boat captain kept drifting away onto the high seas. Says Ola: “Unknown to us, he was targeting a red light that glimmered in the far distance. We later discovered that we would just have disappeared at that place, which all experienced sailors avoid. The light was a sign of danger.”

    A few hours later, an Italian Navy ship showed up to rescue the troubled boat and its cargo of dejected people. They were taken to a camp for profiling. Our man explained why he was escaping from home. He was lucky. His story hit a sympathetic chord. He got papers to stay.

    “But, baba, many are unlucky. They are still being put under watch. Some died on the way.  Others are doing dehumanising jobs to survive. Many want to return home, but they can’t raise the fare. Besides, they are afraid and ashamed; what will they say upon their return to Nigeria?”

    Ola goes on: “I’ve seen girls who were tricked to come here. They were told of a life of bliss; some paradise on earth. Now they are being forced into prostitution to buy their freedom at a price they can never pay.”

    The Oba of Benin cursed the kingpins of human trafficking. “Yes, it’s working,” Ola notes, adding: “I’m told that some of them have repented. They want to look for another trade. But the big issue is that our leaders should find out why youths want to escape from Nigeria. They need to convince them that there is hope.”

    In Napoli (non-Italians call it Naples) stands a monument built in memory of thousands who perished at sea after embarking on the “one chance” journey to Europe. It is a moving testimony to the disillusionment that has gripped our continent.

    Again, the leadership question. We need to rebuild our economy and get our politics right. Nigeria remains the hope of the Black man. It should lead the way – to prosperity and growth. Should this country lose it ,we have had it, as they say.

     

    Chaos in the Senate

    Security chiefs got yesterday a 24-hour deadline to retrieve the mace from hoodlums who stormed the Senate to seize its symbol of authority. The Senate described the action as treason.
    The invasion is unacceptable, but senators brought it upon themselves. There have been so many attempts to ridicule the institution by those who swore to uphold the fundamental reasons for its creation – making laws for the well-being of the society and acting as a check on the Executive, among others.
    The Senate has constituted itself into a stumbling block to almost everything good that has come from the Executive. It has been carrying on as if all senators belonged in the opposition party. Some members have been everything but good representatives of their people, behaving like kindergartners crying for ice cream. Any voice of dissent is muzzled in a chamber that should be the beacon of free speech. Senator Ovie Omo-Agege (Warri no dey take last) was suspended for exercising his right to free speech.
    When will our pampered and overpaid senators grow up?
    The Senate needs a sincere and bold self-assessment.

  • Buhari and the Nigeria Exodus story

    PRESIDENT  Muhammadu Buhari’s administration has been buffeted with criticisms even before he announced his plan to seek another term.

    The attacks have been fierce since Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo said N150billion was withdrawn from the treasury just two weeks before the 2015 election. That was about three weeks ago. Since then, some Nigerians, particularly the leading lights of the opposition Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), have stepped up their attacks on the government.

    The PDP challenged the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) to name the champions of the scorched earth policy that left the treasury in tatters. It did. And that sparked the renewed animosity against the administration. An elder statesman, who had renounced politics after shredding his party card in public, has suddenly jumped on the political train, even as he claims to be apolitical.

    The criticisms have suddenly hit a crescendo, recreating the scenario in which  the children of Israel challenged Moses and demanded to be returned to Egypt. The Biblical days are here again. Here is the Nigerian version:

    And it came to pass that less than three years after leaving Egypt, the people, led by some elders and prominent individuals, including contractors, obstructors and detractors, rose up in anger and said:

    “Is this the honey and milk you promised us? Almost three years we have followed you on this journey to the land which you said the Lord had directed you to take us. Now, food is expensive. A 50 kg bag of rice is N20,000; it cost N13,000 in Egypt. Fuel is expensive. Milk is for the rich and their children. There is no water; we are thirsty. Would it not have been better if we had been left to die peacefully in Egypt than to drink the water of Marah?”

    And the leaders of the party replied them, saying: “Yes, we promised to take you to a land flowing with milk and honey, jobs, security, quality education and good health care delivery. We did. But ye unrepentant advocates of the Pharaoh days, remember we never promised that the journey would be as smooth as a knife slicing through butter. We knew it would be tough and full of challenges. You told us to go ahead. Why are you tired less than midway to this journey? We never promised you that you will be dancing on dollar bills even as foreign reserves will be tumbling by the day. Never. We did not promise a long Lagos owambe party that never ends. Never.

    “As for rice, must you consume foreign rice? We have saved a fortune growing rice in Nigeria. Lagos, Kebbi, Ebonyi, Ogun and many others are now planting rice. Farmers are happy, with the assistance of the Central Bank. Change your taste and eat our homegrown rice, which is more nutritious and be merry.”

    “Your former leaders, who ruled for 16 years, grabbed the treasury in a strange group robbery, perhaps the worst ever visited on a national asset by people who swore on oath to protect and nurture it. Instead of building schools and roads, they ministered to their personal needs. They were proud that they produced a group of former vandals and vagabonds now flying private jets. To them, that was how best to measure a country’s growth and fulfilment of its people.”

    Lo and behold. One of the former leaders was incensed. He shouted with a great voice of anger: “For about six years I ruled in peace, respecting the rule of law. Now I am in pursuit of the cause of democracy. I said while in office that my ambition was not worth the blood of any Nigerian. I maintain that stand, even now. But I will not stand by and allow my name to be dragged in the mud. I am not a thief. Enough is enough.”

    And it came to pass that the government vowed to join issues with the disavowing former leader. It said: “If you provoke us to anger, we will arrest you and show you all the facts we have been concealing. If you didn’t steal, from where did your wife get all the mountains of cash found in her bank accounts? Why is she begging for an out-of-court settlement?”

    But the people’s anger had been kindled. Some of them met and decided to seek a leader who will head their rebellion. They got an elder, a self-appointed kingmaker, who is said to have remained unhappy and aggressive since he lost his desperate bid to rework the constitution and continue in office. To him they said: “Thou wily master of intrigues and subterfuge, appoint for us a leader. We are tired of this administration. We recall our days in Egypt when we sat by the flesh pot, and when we did eat bread to the fill. They have brought us forth to this wilderness to kill us all with hunger. Where are the cucumber, the garlic and onions of Egypt? Appoint for us a leader to take us back to Egypt.”

    And the elder stood up in the camp, cleared his throat and shouted like a politician, even as he proclaimed his neutrality: “You tell us about challenges, challenges all the time. We are tired. If there were no challenges, we would not have called upon you to rescue the people. Is it not in times of challenges that leaders show their skills?”

    He was fuming, frowning, gesticulating and shouting. His audience, a group of youths, was moved. Some grimaced in bewilderment; others shook their heads in agreement. It was a call to arms. If he had instructed them to march on Abuja, they would have done so there and then. They were convinced.

    “It is time you stopped recalling the past. That is gone. Instead of taking action you say you want to continue. I don’t think we can continue this way o. There is a lesson they taught us in the military – never reinforce failure,” the old fox said.

    And it came to pass that the elderly statesman gathered some of the former leaders of the people, who had ruled before with impunity and great greed. He announced that he was forming a coalition to defeat the Buhari administration at the poll. Some of the people rejoiced; others warned, saying: “Beware, o ye people, of this elder. He had been there and back; what did he bring? He even appointed for us a government of rogues who looted our common wealth. Did he not tell us that he had forsaken politics? Why this? What is this called if not politics?”

    But the man was unrepentant. He went from town to town and from one city to another, preaching his new message and collecting signatures. And some people hailed him, saying: “Now we shall have a leader who will take us back to Egypt.”

    The administration got angry, but it decided not to confront the elderly one. He was Buhari’s boss in the military. Besides, does our African culture not say elders are to be respected?

    Then Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo beseeched the people to keep their heads and be patient. “They earned more from oil and did little. They stole so much that we had to help many states to pay salaries. Many of them are in court defending the sources of their stupendous wealth. Now they are threatening to return. Say to them, ‘Never again’. With the little we have earned, we have done more. Thousands of kids are having one meal a day, with the chain effects on suppliers, including our farmers. Many of our compatriots have got loans to run their small businesses. Rail has been brought back on track. Major roads are being built.”

    “If you will diligently hearken to our voice and will be more patient even beyond 2019, we will permit none of these plagues upon thee – corruption, hunger, impunity, looting, thuggery and rigging. Our land and people shall be prosperous again. ”

     

    The Police and the Offa robbery

    IT was like a scene straight from an action movie. A group of robbers storms a town. They divide themselves into two. One surrounds the police station, blocking the town’s major security artery. The other rumbled through the streets to five banks. It was bloody.

    A movie? No. It all happened in Offa on April 5. By the time the marauders disappeared, many residents, including policemen, bankers and their customers, were lying flat on the ground. Dead.

    Senate
    Ibrahim Idris

    This is not the first time Offa has suffered such a major calamity. The gory memories of the first attack five years ago are being recalled with fear. What went wrong? The police have complained of being understaffed; what happened to the plan to recruit more men every year? Why was it difficult for reinforcement to reach Offa, even from Abuja if the nearest command could not help? The robbers seized the town by the throat for almost two hours, we are told. How was such a massive attack planned without the intelligence community picking up any clue? How did the evil men move undetected before they struck?

    Now, the condolences -the sincere and the political. An average policeman is not an ideal security man. He is ill-dressed, ill-equipped and ill-trained.  For how long shall the police continue to be like an orphan? The Offa bloodshed should be a wake-up call to the government to do something about this weak link in our security chain. It is getting too late.

  • When looters call the shots

    Growing up in Ado-Ekiti in the 70s was fun. Elders were symbols of moral rectitude. Kids were told that a good name was worth more than silver and gold. Stealing was the height of moral laxity. It always drew communal anger.

    Whenever the elders felt it was time to reprimand those who might have crossed the line, they got youths to compose songs to fight the moral perverts. A group would move in the night, under the thick cover of darkness, and go close to the home of somebody who had broken the society’s unwritten but strong rules. There would be a lead singer who would call abusive songs against the offender. The crowd would chorus it. The offender would be mentioned by name. He would be advised to change his way. The next day, the night show, “Udi” would become the talk of the town.

    That was when stealing – of yams, goats, plantain and palm wine from another man’s palm tree – was a grave anomaly that was frowned at by all. Somehow, the night rendezvous of songs full of biting invectives was effective, as offenders changed their way after their kids and wives had been well taunted with the shame their behaviour had brought upon their families.

    Not anymore. Times have changed.

    First, we had thieves, muggers, robbers and forgers. Then came robbers, pen robbers and armed robbers. They all seem to have yielded the big stage to looters. We no longer hear of stealing, theft and such non-violent misdemeanours. They fetched little. Looting – and its cousin, corruption – is the reigning king of the crime jungle, sucking in billions – without violence.  Vicious armed robbers, I bet, must be envious. Kidnappers, apparently not to be outdone, have stepped up their evil trade. Some would not collect ransom in naira. They demand dollars.  Or Euro.

    How have looters suddenly become the lead subject of elite discourse? Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo, a professor of law to whom making a speech is as smooth as a knife cutting through butter, started it all. He said N150billion was withdrawn and shared two weeks before the 2015 elections. No economy, he said, could absorb this and remain on its feet. Yet, the opposition and their backers would brook no reference to this “mindless looting”. Any mention of the rape of the treasury is easily interpreted as a sign of the Buhari administration’s weakness.

    Apparently unwilling to take it on the chin, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) challenged the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) to name the looters it kept on spanking for bringing the economy on its kneels. The APC picked up the gauntlet. It released a teaser; just five names and warned the opposition to keep quiet or risk having its leading lights named and shamed as the King Kong of looting.

    PDP dared APC. Go ahead and name them, it rejoined. APC rolled out a long list of those who allegedly dipped their hands in the till. Many were enraged. PDP Chairman Uche Secondus threatened a legal battle to defend his integrity. He has hired a lawyer to lead his case.

    Former Niger State Governor Babangida Aliyu demanded an apology. He said his name should not have been listed because he stole nothing. It was all malice, he concluded. How? Aliyu said he had been wooed to join the APC, but he would not yield, hence the decision to throw in his name. Interesting.

    Former Permanent Secretary Godknows Igali, who is alleged to have looted N7billion, charged that his name was smuggled into the list “to create the needed effect”. He did not name those who did, but he saw himself as “a victim” and a “scapegoat”. Igali concluded that “these and many more afflictions will come like floods and pass”.

    “There is nothing new under the sun. So, it is well, indeed,” he said.

    Before bringing in the divine angle, I am told, Igali had risked an invitation from the Customs Service, which was to demand the identities of the smugglers so as to go after them. Could they be some out-of-favour rice smugglers who fell out with the authorities at the notorious Seme border? Who knows?

    Femi Fani-Kayode’s response was swift and sharp. In a harsh and brash tone,  he owned up to collecting the money listed against his name – just N860million – from Mrs Nenadi Usman, the Finance Director of the Goodluck Jonathan Campaign Organisation, now disbanded. The cash, he stressed, came from individuals who supported Dr Jonathan’s ambition to return to the Aso Villa. He dared anybody to call him a thief, stressing that the cash came from a private company’s account, which was used to house money from party supporters.

    So infuriated was the PDP that it recommended to the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) the proscription of the APC for, according to the opposition party, “undisputed revelations” that it financed the President’s campaign with looted funds. INEC is yet to grant the request. The PDP forgot that it had earlier challenged the APC to name looters.

    Former PDP spokesman Olisa Metuh, who has N400million listed against his name, said it was all a plot to convict him at all cost. Was it not the same Metuh asking to be allowed to enter into a plea bargain?

    Lawyers joined the fray. Some said it was simply contemptuous to name those who were in court fighting to extricate themselves from the web of charges thrown at them. The lists, said the legal minds, amounted to prejudging the cases in court. Others disagreed, saying: “Why won’t you mention names when your evidence is iron-clad?”

    If the angry PDP chiefs eventually file defamation suits in court, what will APC plead? Extreme provocation? Qualified privilege? Fair comment? Public interest? Justification? Legal experts, many of whom we are lucky to have among us, have their job cut out for them.

    Enter the moralists. Who is a looter? Is a politician who got money from his party to prosecute an election without asking where the cash came from a looter? Is it fair to brand somebody a looter without waiting for the courts to say so? Does this amount to jungle justice and mob mentality? Could the receivers have known that the cash came from questionable sources?

    To a young man who read it all in the news, it was a call to some sober reflection. He said: “The only thing I have against this list is simple; why is it that all those who call themselves big men in my village, none made the first list? I thought they would make the supplementary list; none did. No wonder this village has made no progress; mud houses all over; red, rusty roofs and streets clustered with rickety motorcycles (okada) they call empowerment for youths.”

    Another, a student, asked: “How much did Judas get for betraying the Lord and he became a symbol of treachery, his name tarnished forever? Thirty pieces of silver. I’m sure it wasn’t anything close to what an apprentice politician or the lowest ranking public official has taken. But, who will do the conversion now?”

    The exchanges between the APC and the PDP have been quite interesting. It is the type the Afrobeat king, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti – may the Lord bless his soul – called roforofo, a fight in the mud. But, should it have been allowed to get this far?

    I think those who insisted that APC should not talk about corruption–stealing, if you like – of the past got it wrong. How do you learn from the past if you don’t recognise it and take in the lesson of its calamities?

    Besides, why ask APC to shut up when the Constitution gives ample room for freedom of speech? The right to talk and be talked about should not be abridged in any way. After all, yabis is no case (again, apology to the weird one, Fela).

     

    Magomago over Magu’s fate

    AFTER a brief lull, the battle to stop Ibrahim Magu from being the chair of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFFC) seems to be gathering steam. There are plans to suspend Magu for some old, frivolous allegations.

    It is all in a bid to pave the way for a smooth relationship between the Executive and the Legislature, according to sources who are familiar with the latest plot to kick Magu upstairs or just dump him like some refuse.

    Ibrahim Magu
    Ibrahim Magu

    If Magu has not done well, he could get the kick. Raking up some unfounded allegations to get him fired is a disservice to the anti-corruption fight that is so dear to the Muhammadu Buhari administration.

    Those after Magu are said to be claiming that his hard-line stance could affect the President’s electoral fortune in 2019. Isn’t that putting logic on its head? Besides, has the President said he is running? It is clear that they cannot fault the man’s performance; the records are there.

    There are many who can handle the job – so claim some critics. Yes, but what is wrong with Magu? No President worthy of his seat will succumb to intimidation over his choice for an office as delicate as the EFCC chair’s. I doubt if Buhari will, even if the lawmakers insist on grounding the system as they seem to be doing.

    Let all the magomago stop.

  • An apology and its crisis

    WHEN Afrobeat legend Fela Anikulapo-Kuti was jailed in Maiduguri, he took ill and was hospitalised. The judge who jailed him, Justice Gregory Okoro-Idogwu, was visiting. Told that Fela (of exciting memory) was hospitalised, he decided to see him. Perhaps out of sympathy or curiosity or troubling conscience – or all.

    The judge saw Fela and, according to the music icon, confessed that he was under pressure to jail him. He apologised. Fela, a master of yabis, quickly sent a message to his younger brother, the late Beko Ransome-Kuti, saying “the judge don beg me”. Newspapers picked it up, splashing the story on their front pages with the screaming headline, “Judge don beg me – Fela.” His fans, sense of defiance got tougher, with their hero’s unbroken spirit.

    Even after the death of the Abami Eda (the Weird One), as Fela loved being hailed by his admirers, the question remained in legal and social circles if actually Justice Okoro-Idogwu begged him for forgiveness, but his fans would not stop hailing him in public: “The judge don beg me!” He, characteristically, replied with a clenched fist thrown up in the air.

    The music giant also waxed an album, “Unnecessary Begging”, to reflect the mood of that time. The sober lyrics dramatised the often hostile encounter between a lender and his debtor. “Unnecessary begging as we dey call am for area, oro ebe o sele (We call this unnecessary begging; no need for it.”

    Why is “Editorial Notebook” waxing lyrical now? Is this a voyage into the  seductive world of music to take a soothing break from the depressing  occurrences of these days? No. Not at all.

    It is all in a bid to query the idea and spirit of the act of begging for forgiveness. When is an apology genuine? Is saying “sorry” a true reflection of a remorseful heart?

    Since the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) said the magic word “sorry” on Monday, it has been difficult to ascertain whether Nigerians will accept the apology and let bygones be bygones. After all, we are known to forget so fast any evil visited on us as if it never happened. We even at times ascribe it all to God’s will against which we, being human, are powerless. Besides, we often say, to Him belongs justice and the power to say, “Go and sin no more”.

    PDP Chair Uche Secondus, who delivered the apology, said: “I am the very first to admit that our party made many mistakes. Consequently, we were roundly sanctioned by Nigerians, occasioning our loss at the polls in 2015. Let me seize this opportunity to apologise to Nigerians unequivocally for the several shortcomings of our party in the near and far past. It was all part of our evolution process without which there can be no maturity.”

    He spoke of “impunity”, “imposition” and all that. Secondus was not done. He  announced the PDP’s plan to “rescue” Nigeria.

    The apology sparked a wave of comments. The ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) sympathised with the PDP and advised it to go all the way by confessing its sins , making some restitution and staying in the purgatory for more than the 16 years for which, according to the party, it sinned against Nigerians.

    As if taking a cue from the APC, many, including ordinary folks and notable compatriots, began to scream:

    “No, no; confess first.”

    “Eh!  PDP don beg, but where is the loot?”

    “Good, but surrender the loot first.”

    “No to half confession; full disclosure; tell us who stole what; where is the loot?”

    And so on and so forth.

    Before we could make sense of the fast motion the commotion was taking, Mr Secondus somehow recanted. He said the apology was for allowing  APC to mount the saddle in the first place.

    But that did not stop the hullabaloo; it only deepened the row.   It was the tower of Babel all over again – all because of a questionable apology.

    “Ha, can PDP ever repent, let alone confess? If PDP confesses, won’t Nigeria burn?”

    “Will Orubebe tell the world the writer of the script he was delivering as Jega was announcing the result of that election?”

    A colleague was wondering why Nigerians were driven to such frenzy by a  former ruling party’s mere apology on behalf of its reckless and feckless leaders.

    He had the answer. He said the Secondus apology came the same day when the news broke of the death of Mavrodi Mondial Moneybox (MMM) founder Sergei Mavrodi of a heart attack. Tens of thousands of Nigerians had subscribed to the Ponzi scheme, losing their life savings. Students eager to join the gravy train invested their school fees. Instead of making a kill, they killed themselves.

    Mavrodi’s death, needless to say, sparked an avalanche of comments on the social media.

    Samples:  “So finally confirmed. Sergei Mavrodi is dead. Nigerians. Amadioha and Sango double barrel strike for the man’s heart. Chai!”

    “MMM has been scamming people all over the world without repercussions…Just the small money scammed in Nigeria last year… the dude is dead. So Amadioha can kill someone in Moscow?”

    “Sergei  Mavrodi is afraid of Nigeria coming to the World Cup in June. He will resurrect in August after the World Cup.”

    And this: “JAMB 2019 question. What did Sergei Mavrodi die of? (a) Spiritual attack (b) Counter attack (c) Heart attack (d) Armed robbers attack (e) All of the above.”

    There is also a picture of a group of youths bearing stones of various sizes, peeping behind a wall, apparently laying ambush for somebody. The caption: “Nigerians who died because of MMM waiting for Sergei Mavrodi at the gates of hell.”

    Back to Secondus and his apology for the PDP:  “We are sorry – PDP. Sorry for what? Without confession, there is no forgiveness (1John 2:1),” many responded, going spiritual.

    Others rejoined: “Don’t mind them. Apology rejected. They know that the foreign reserve has gone up to $42.8billion. They are thinking of how to share it. No way.”

    Secondus’ apology came as former President Goodluck Jonathan protested that Vice- President Yemi Osinbajo said N150billion was looted from the treasury two weeks before the 2015 election. Dr Jonathan said he was in Sierra Leone pursuing the cause of democracy when he learnt that a smear campaign against him was in the offing. “When I was in power, I said my ambition is not worth the blood of any Nigerian. Even out of power, I continue to hold that belief.”

    He added that “no matter how far and fast falsehood has travelled, it must be overtaken by truth”.

    That, obviously, did not go down well with those Dr Jonathan was addressing. “While Jonathan is busy defending his integrity,” a source told this newspaper, “his wife Dame Patience is asking for an out-of- court settlement “of all suspicious transactions and funds traced to her”. Her lawyer, said the source, wrote to the EFCC. “About 31 persons and companies paid over $11,489,069.03 into her two domiciliary accounts,” he said.

    Mrs Jonathan had earlier claimed she inherited the fortune of her wealthy mother who had passed on. Is she ready to reveal how her mother came by this huge pile  and others reportedly found in her bank accounts?

    After Dr Jonathan’s reaction on his Facebook page, the official sources threatened to unveil more of the cesspool of corruption (or stealing, if you like) the PDP would have loved covered for ever.

    Can there be forgiveness without sincere contrition? Where is the place of justice in all this? Will a mere apology suffice for what some analysts have described as part of the greatest national heists of all time? Who and who have turned in their loot in exchange for no prosecution? Can those who betrayed our trust for 16 years, earning the sobriquet Papa Deceive Pickin be trusted again?

    Can the PDP ever truly apologise?

     

    The Police v Dino Melaye

    JUST one week after the police announced with remarkable glee that they had arrested three suspects who reportedly confessed that Senator Dino Melaye (Kogi West) armed them and gave them N430,000, the suspects have vanished into thin air. They escaped from custody, we were told yesterday.

    Police chief Ibrahim Idris removed the commissioner, Ali Janga, for negligence. Dino, who struts Abuja like any of our overfed lawmakers, has been declared wanted. He was at the National Assembly yesterday.

    What is going on in Kogi?

    Melaye is full of drama, thrilling the social media audience with videos in which he acts like a trainee comedian, pouring invectives on Governor Yahaya Bello, who is consumed by all manner of trivialities.

    He is more involved in its party’s politics  at the national level than in tackling matters that concern his state. Herdsmen and their cows are riding roughshod over farms that represent many decades of toil and sweat. Monarchs have not been  spared in the bloodletting that has seized the state. In Kogi, kidnappers have found a cozy home for their evil trade.

    For many of the state’s leading lights, it is politics first; all other things can follow later. Melaye, in particular, has been everything but a good ambassador of the state’s elite with his mendacious propaganda, part of the reason the Senate has been seen as a conclave of jokers who feed fat on our sweat.

    The drama in Kogi is getting more absurd by the day. The dramatis personae should spare a thought for the people and stop the nonsense. Today.

  • Happiness as choice

    WHERE were you last Tuesday?

    I guess you didn’t know it was Happiness Day. A brief background. Statesman, activist, philanthropist and frontline United Nations (UN) advisor Jayne Illien pushed the idea that March 20 should be marked as Happiness Day to boost the global happiness movement . The UN bought the idea, which was adopted by all UN member-states on June 11, 2012.

    The idea is that “the pursuit of happiness is a fundamental human goal”. The UN recognised “the need for a more inclusive, equitable and balanced approach to growth that promotes sustainable development, poverty eradication, happiness and the well-being of all peoples” in making the proclamation.

    Did we mark the Day here? Perhaps at UN offices. Civil Society Organisations were all quiet. The government was too busy to spare a thought for this day. Of course, there are those who have never felt happy; the needy, who incidentally are many among us. Who cares about them? There are, also, those with itchy palms who are sad and mad at the system that has stopped them from stealing from the common till.

    There is so much to cry over here. An ocean of tears won’t be enough to assuage our feelings. So, why don’t we just choose to be happy, despite the odds? But can there be happiness amid so much gloom and doom? Where is the place of humour amid so much horror and terror? Is happiness a commodity to be bought off the shelf like a good book? In other words, is there a correlation between wealth and happiness? If so, why do the rich cry – sometimes? Why are their wives and kids depressed? If cash can buy comfort, can it be a fuel for joy?

    Considering the savagery that has become a regular feature on the menu here, how many can be happy – and truly so? Abductions for cash. Highway robbery. Herdsmen as marksmen.  Road accidents. Hunger. Suicide bombings. And more.

    There have been no earthquakes, hurricanes and such natural calamities. All our disasters have been man-made. So, amid such gargantuan horror, humour becomes a matter of choice. After all, didn’t the Bard say “sweet are the uses of adversity?”

    Vice-President Yemi Osinbajo could not help going back the other day to the looting that went on as governance in the Dr Goodluck Jonathan administration and how it helped to bring the economy to its knees. Just two weeks before the general election in 2015,  he claimed, N150billion was withdrawn – perhaps for spiritual contractors (where in the world is former Sokoto State Governor Attahiru Bafarawa, by the way?), bribe couriers and emergency publicists.

    Should we cry? No. After all, we got a new postulation; some theory that our frontline scholars are yet to resolve till now; is corruption the same as stealing? When our academic giants eventually crack this nut, a huge leap would have been made in the sociology of crime.  The gains of such a breakthrough, I have been told by sources close to the head researcher, will simply be breathtaking. Immeasurable.

    Poor Benue State Governor Samuel Ortom. After weeks of sleepless nights over the plight of those displaced by marauding herdsmen, he visited the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) camp last week and found himself dancing. If the people had accepted their fate and decided to dance it all off, why would His Excellency not join them? Should he keep crying?

    Whenever it gets so stressful, I hit the social media. It’s always an exciting voyage of humour – and rumours – full of salacious and tantalising stories . Just yesterday, I found this picture of a governor. His Excellency bends down, sitting on his knees as if set for a frog jump, in front of a woman selling avocado. He picks one off the tray and begins to bargain. The woman’s bosom is half-covered as she bends down to attend to this unusual customer. The governor’s eyes are well trained at the vendor’s heavy chest. Then the caption of the picture: “What exactly does His Excellency want to buy?”

    You are free to guess who this governor is.

    There were also the story and photographs of a Catholic priest who dumped the cassock and got married. His face brightened by toothy smiles, he says: “It’s the beginning of my new life.” Rev. Patrick Edet, who quit priesthood six months ago, adds that “life is one; if you want to live it, live it to the full”.

    He quit his former calling because he was being persecuted and had “little space to operate”. Senior government officials and many dignitaries were at the wedding in Uyo, the Akwa Ibom State capital. But, some key members of Rev.  Edet’s family boycotted the show. Were they angry that he dumped celibacy?

    What kind of persecution was the Reverend gentleman talking about? Who were his persecutors? He had little space to operate; what manner of operation? At what point did he change his mind and opted to “live life to the full”. How does he feel to become a husband after many years of celibacy? Will brother Edet need lessons in handling today’s women? Who will put him through? What will his former colleagues be saying? Will his action not trigger another renunciation of this age-old life of sanctification?

    Those making a song and dance about Senator Ademola  Adeleke (Osun West) not sponsoring a bill since fate vaulted him into the Upper Chamber do not really know the essence and intricacies of lawmaking. I stumbled on the distinguished senator’s video on Facebook the other day. And what a spectacle. He holds the microphone, singing. Suddenly, he begins to shuffle his feet. He rolls his body, swinging like a belly dancer. He gyrates – to the wild admiration of his audience – congregants in a church.

    Before the crowd could say “more”, the distinguished senator begins to sing: “I have a God who never fails; I have a God who never fails; I have a God who never fails; Jesus never fails for evermore. Amen, Jesus never fails…”

    He wowed  the congregants into a frenzy. They were all clapping and screaming for more. Even the famous Atilogwu dancers would have been green with envy.

    How many bills can have this electrifying effect? A cynical fellow remarked after seeing the video: “Who will get N13.5million and N750,000 per month and not dance?”

    The fellow was referring to the jumbo salary that Senator Shehu Sani (Kaduna Central) says our lawmakers are collecting. Now Prof Itse Sagay, the chair of the Presidential Advisory Committee Against Corruption (PACAC) is threatening to announce what the Senate President and the House Speaker earn. He says Nigeria would burn if he did.

    Former presidential spokesman Doyin Okupe (where in the world has he been?) has challenged Sagay to release the details and those of the President and the Vice-President as well as ministers. Sagay replied him, saying Okupe is an “expired” politician.

    C’mon Prof., go ahead; such facts don’t shock us anymore; they are amusing. Even if they don’t make us happy, won’t they make us laugh?

     

    Return of the Dapchi girls

    AFTER 31 days in captivity, 104 of the 110 kidnapped Dapchi girls returned yesterday to the excitement of their parents and all those genuinely concerned about their plight. Five died. One reportedly refused to renounce Christianity; the terrorists kept her.

    When the Chibok girls were similarly trucked off by the insurgents, we all thought some lessons would be learnt. How wrong we were. I hope a thorough postmortem will be done this time so that we won’t again be rushing to shut the stable after the horse has escaped.

    But there are questions to be tackled even as the military and Amnesty International (AI) quarrel over the incident. Were those who claim that the girls were kept within Yobe State wrong?

    “The girls are in Bulabulin. The military is aware that Boko Haram has been in that place for over four years,” Goni Buka, who represents Bursari/Yunusar/Gaidam Federal Constituency in the House of Representatives, told this newspaper. He was dismissed as a rabble-rouser. Is he?

    How long did it take the trucks to return to Dapchi with their unwilling cargoes? Could they have come from outside Nigeria? Are there no informants in all the villages around the trouble spots? Are the terrorists living in outer space from where they emerge to do evil and vanish at will?

    Some critics are said to be flaying the abduction of the Dapchi girls as phony. Why don’t we credit our leaders with some credibility, no matter how little? We shouldn’t see an opportunity for politics in everything, especially a                              major tragedy of this magnitude. Whoever wants to tell a man who is mourning his mother that he isn’t crying enough should kill his or hers and show the world how to mourn.

    Isn’t there a line between sheer cynicism and criticism?

  • Language in the time of politics

    THEY are not new, but by virtue of the uses (and abuses) to which they are being deployed, they deserve more than a cursory glance. They define the thoughts, actions and inaction of some of the leading actors on our national stage. They convey to us the feelings of our leaders and offer us a glimpse into the fecundity of their minds.

    They are words and phrases that have been effectively used by some of our compatriots to comment or act on the state of the nation. But, this is not just another voyage into the world of linguistics. Nor is it a matter of semantics as an end in itself. No. After all, words are mere vehicles conveying our thoughts.

    When the literary giant, Prof. Wole Soyinka, said President Muhammadu Buhari had committed some “unforced errors”, some excited lawn tennis enthusiasts were wondering whether the Nobel laureate had been sweating it out on the court to keep fit. Before anybody could find out if tennis was the secret of Soyinka’s agility and trim figure, politicians had seized upon the innocent phrase as a weapon to fight their battles.

    Akwa Ibom Governor Emmanuel Udom got an award from the Nigeria Television Authority (NTA), sparking an outrage in the camp of the All Progressives Congress (APC) in the state. The party claimed that the governor had done nothing to earn the award, which they never claimed was not worthy of the importance the giver and the recipient attached to it. The APC wrote to the Secretary to the Government of the Federation (SGF), complaining that a Federal Government institution should not have honoured the governor, who belongs in the opposition Peoples Democratic Party (PDP). The party said it thought little of it until Udom “turned the award into a political campaign slogan”.

    The APC urged SGF Boss Mustapha to call Udom to order as, according to the party, he was planning to erect billboards carrying his photograph while receiving the award from the SGF. It is still unclear if Mr Mustapha accepted this plea. Or whether Udom will agree to be called to order.

    Minister of Information Lai Mohammed also got an open letter from the APC on the award. The party wondered why the NTA should honour Udom.  That Udom got the award , the PDP said, was “an unforced error”.

    Not willing to turn the other cheek, the PDP fought back, calling the APC’s “attacks” “devilish” and “very petty”. Did the NTA actually commit an “unforced error”? Where was the APC when the NTA announced the winners of its National Service Awards? Why shut the stable after the horse had escaped? Should the governor not be allowed to enjoy the excitement of his prize?

    Isn’t the “forced error” actually APC’s? Why didn’t the party approach a court of competent jurisdiction to seek an order that Udom should not be honoured by the  Federal Government, its proxies, agencies, representatives, officials, servants and any other who may be directed, permitted and requested to confer such honours? Besides, it could also seek a declaration that the governor deserved no honour?

    Ever since a Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) official claimed that a mystery snake swallowed N36million belonging to the agency, the word “swallow” has taken on a new meaning. The official is said to have since recanted, saying the cash was actually collected from her by her boss.

    Despite that, some Nigerians have been claiming that animals, including monkeys, are swallowing cash. When President Buhari went to Ghana’s independence anniversary celebration, he promised that Nigeria would assist that country to fight corruption. The innocuous pledge became the subject of cruel jokes. Ghanaians were saying we should capture the snake that swallowed  N36million before lending them a hand.

    At restaurants now, it is no longer fashionable for diners to request for “swallow”. Asked if he would like to have rice and beans or “swallow”, a patron would simply retort: “Me, swallow? Am I a snake?”

    Until Senator Shehu Sani (Kaduna Central) let the cat out of the bag on the delicate matter of senators’ salary and allowances, it was as if the words “jumbo” and “bumper” had become obsolete. A senator gets N13.5million monthly running cost and a salary of N750, 000. Besides, there is N200million for constituency project.

    “I decided to burst it open. It was a moral issue,” Sani told the BBC. Senate spokesman  Aliyu Sabi Abdullahi confirmed Sani’s assertion, saying it was not new. Now many Nigerians are saying the “jumbo” running cost must be reduced or stopped altogether. Some are pushing for the “bumper” salary to be reviewed.

    Others are demanding an explanation of what the “running cost” actually stands for. Has the National Assembly become a factory? There are those who have called for the abolition of the National Assembly, saying as usual without facts and figures that it is a conclave of thieves who are bound together by a common goal – to loot the treasury and drop crumbs for their constituents.

    They have been deriding senators as greedy, lazy and shameless. Is this fair?

    The business of lawmaking is hazardous, riskier than working a rice milling machine, physically and mentally exerting. Sleepless nights, oversight duties, public hearings, motions, counter-motions, seminars and more. And all that for  chicken-feed.  Given the sacrifice of our lawmakers, I am afraid, we will all wake up some day to find out that they have gone on strike for a better pay and an environment conducive to their job.

    No prize for guessing the would-be mover of the motion for a better pay for legislators?

    The word “reconciliation” seems to have got more prominence since President Buhari chose Asiwaju Bola Ahmed Tinubu to lead the battle for peace in the ruling APC.  To many, the task is Herculean, but those who are familiar with Asiwaju’s tenacious grip on whatever cause he believes in have no doubt that he will succeed.  However, the popular question is, would there have been any need for a peacemaker if the party leadership was alive – morally and practically?

    When former President Olusegun Obasanjo issued his controversial “special press statement” in which he lashed out at the Buhari administration, he spoke of the need for a “third force”. He then threatened to form a Coalition for Nigeria Movement. Weeks after, former Cross River State Governor Donald Duke and former Osun State Governor Olagunsoye Oyinlola stormed Abuja to join Ahmadu Ali (remember him? The one who got shoved off the PDP chair and, thereafter went into the political cooler) and others to present the Coalition.

    Ever since, it has remained a mystery how this “third force” will take concrete form.  Obasanjo, a sworn statesman, who has publicly renounced politics, has been strutting across the land – from Bayelsa where he had lunch at former President Goodluck Jonathan’s home to Makurdi where he laid a wreath at the graveside of the victims of herdsmen’s attacks.

    Some of Obasanjo’s associates have dumped the PDP for the Social Democratic Party (SDP). Is SDP the “third force”? The party denies it all. And the old fox, the mischievous chief, keeps them guessing.

     

    The blind versus Okorocha

    THERE is so much discontent in the land. Protests in Benue over killings by herdsmen. Anger in Plateau over killings. More protests over abductions – of Chibok and Dapchi girls – by Boko Haram. Pensioners are up in arms against governments.  Lawyers marched on Tuesday in Lagos over the Land Use Charge, which the government is ready to discuss.

    In Imo State, an unusual kind of protest was staged on Monday. Hundreds of people with visual impairment, under the aegis of the Nigeria Association of the Blind (NAB) marched on the Government House in Owerri, blocking the gates.

    Okorocha Imo
    Owelle Okorocha

    Their grouse?

    Non-payment of their “welfare packages, annual subventions and unfulfilled promises by the governor”. Governor Rochas Okorocha said NAB leader Mr Kalu Christopher promised to establish a Special School for the Blind. “No blind person in Imo has access to education, except those who can afford to travel to Ebonyi and Enugu states… .We met the governor in 2013. He promised that the school would take off in September 2014.But in November when we led a protest to him, you know what the governor told us? He said to us ‘had it been you came earlier, you would have seen truck carrying gravel to the new school site’.

    “But, since that 2014 till today, we have not seen the truck or the gravel and not even the school site has been shown to us. It is only in Imo State that a leader in that high position can openly lie without minding the effect.”

    Poor fellows. It is not only in Imo that leaders lie; they lie all over the place – with impunity. An activist has suggested that His Excellency should rather shelve his plan to erect more statues and pump the cash into building the school for the blind–as being recommended by some so-called experts–he should mount a huge statue of  the NAB leader in Owerri.

    That way, he said, the blind would  have a sense of belonging. Besides, Okorocha could set up a ministry for the blind and appoint one of his sisters as commissioner. Or draft in one of his in-laws who are eyeing his seat to be Special Assistant on the Blind Affairs.

    But Okorocha is not all sentiment.  He is also a man of equity.  Those who know him well say they would not be surprised if they woke up one day and found that he had erected a monument to the blind in the Owerri city centre.

  • Some fresh air, for a change

    Some fresh air, for a change

    I’M sick of it all. Whoever thought another mass abduction was possible in Nigeria would have been dismissed as a prophet from hell and scorned as a tool in the hands of desperate politicians.

    My heart goes out to those 110 Dapchi girls- and their grieving parents –  whose love for education has crashed in the camp of a terrorist group. After the Chibok abductions, we all said “never again”, but here we are again. Before our very eyes, scores of our kids have been trucked away into slavery – and savagery – of the worst kind.

    Who was supposed to have prevented this major calamity? The military and the police are locked in a shameful blame game. Those who claim to have clues to the whereabouts of the girls are dismissed as “a bunch of confusionists”. Have we checked out their claims? What facts and figures do we have to knock the bottom out of their arguments? Who saw the convoy of evil that drove the girls away? Nobody did? Which way did they go now that Sambisa has been deforested? We are even building a road there!

    Herdsmen and marksmen. An army of killers is on the rampage. The more we vow to stop them, the more vicious they get. Who are their backers? Are they bigger than the government? For how long will the bloodshed go on? Do the killers have a secret licence to kill? What audacity; what impunity! It’s all so sickening.

    Many of our youths, assailed by the vicissitudes of a stifling economy, are hooked onto narcotics. They find some inner peace in music that encourages them to indulge in such egregious perversion. Armed robbers won’t give our cities and towns a breathing space. Everyday, we unearth incredible stories of the looting that went on as governance in the immediate past dispensation and you wonder how Nigeria survived such an avaricious assault on its fortunes.

    Nobody seems to be moving. Again, the leadership question. Leadership at all levels; not just at the top. If those in charge of securing lives and property in Dapchi had been alive to their responsibility, perhaps this national shame would have been averted. Whose duty was it to raise the alarm? When did the military learn that another major calamity had befallen us? How fast did they move? Are some villagers more comfortable with Boko Haram? Otherwise, why won’t they give information to our security agencies?

    It has been 17 days since the girls were abdtheir school and all is normal, except in their parents’ hearts.

    Better not to dwell on our collective  abnegation – and utter betrayal – of our duty to our country.  Better to seek some fresh air and celebrate some of our compatriots who soldier on despite the shocking insensitivity displayed by those who took an oath to care.

    Step forward worthy compatriot Aruna Quadri. While many of us were immersed last Saturday in the revelries that hallmark our weekends, this young man was flying Nigeria’s flag in mountainous  Kenya where the International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF) African Cup was taking place. He lost in the final game to Egyptian star Omar Assar, his friend and sparring partner of many years.

    Aruna was a gallant loser. With all guns blazing, from 3-1, he levelled up at 3-3 with the skillful Egyptian and lost the last game at 8-11. He congratulated Omar on Facebook – in the spirit of true sportsmanship. Aruna’s story is a metaphor for our collective failure to encourage our youths to, like flowers, bloom and blossom.

    Unknown to many, he is arguably one of Nigeria’s foremost sports ambassadors, playing in many countries all year round. Humble to a fault, Aruna has defeated many giants of the game. He has been Africa’s number one; he is 20th   in the global ranking and – don’t forget – the only black man to have reached the quarter finals in the men’s singles at the Olympics. The world saw a dazzling African star in 2014 when he was named the ITTF Star Player of the Year. All this by sheer grit; no government and no private sector input, until recently when Premier Lotto chipped in some sponsorship.

    Just like many of our stars, Aruna is more popular overseas. An all-colour, glossy magazine, World Table Tennis recently landed on my table. A big picture of Aruna in action is emblazoned on the cover. Inside, there are more photographs, accompanied by a long interview. I flipped through several times, smiling. Besides the title, “Superstar in Africa”, I couldn’t read a word.  It was written in Chinese.

    From mountainous Kenya, Aruna has moved across the Saudi Desert to Qatar  where he has been distinguishing himself in that country’s Open.He won last year’s Hungarian Open. When he misses the trophy, he has never failed to win the hearts of the fans – with his good conduct and terrific display of skills.

    Whenever Chelsea plays, I spare some time to watch on television. Not just because the Blues are a delight to watch. Yes; they are. I watch because Victor Moses is in the team. He has shown exceptional display of talent. The coach has had sweet comments on him. His fans around the world are legion. Moses’ conduct is quite antithetical to his status as a celebrity. Many of his mates go about with an army of bodyguards and paint the town red when they visit.

    Not Moses. He has been a role model to many.

    I celebrate golf prodigy Georgia Oboh, the first black woman to play at the Ladies Professional Golfers Association of America (LPGA). Oboh, the 2015 U.S. Kids Golf Teen World champion, started playing golf at six, encouraged by her parents. She is presently in Morocco at the All Africa Junior Challenge, flying Nigeria’s flag.

    At 16, Oboh is a role model to many youths as she goes around promoting the game that has seen her travel the world and ranked among the best. She once said in an interview with this newspaper: “I see my representing Nigeria as an opportunity to inform people about Nigeria and uplift the status of the nation. This is the time Nigerians should stand tall and be proud of their roots. We are still a developing country but we can use that as the driving force to a much brighter future for the generations to come.” How inspiring. And from a teenager.

    David Oyelowo, the Selma actor and black James Bond, was born in London. The popular actor attended the London Academy of Drama and Music Art. To his credit are many great TV shows and movies, such as “The passion of Christ”. With his talents, he continues to make many homes happy.

    Oluchi Onweagba – Orlandi is a world class model of her generation. She lived in Lagos before moving to London for training. In South Africa where she  runs her own agency, she is grooming some of the best in the trade. She had featured on the covers of ELLE and Vogue, among others.

    Mohammed Barkindo is not doing badly at the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC). He was kicked out of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) by the Dr Goodluck Jonathan administration. OPEC was, just like Nigeria, really troubled when oil prices tumbled and threw many countries into a financial mess. Oil is recovering and Barkindo is at the helm at OPEC.

    In Italy, a black man, a Nigerian, has just been elected as a senator – for the first time. Toni Iwobi, an IT businessman, will represent Brescia, the industrial city in northern Italy. He broke the news on his Facebook page.

    There are so many other Nigerians who are making the black humanity proud. They never swore to any oath of allegiance to the nation, but Nigeria is their song. If only many of our leaders -at all levels – could be as patriotic as these compatriots of ours? If.

     

  • Ghanaians scoffing at Nigerians

    WHERE did President Muhammadu Buhari go wrong in Ghana?

    In his speech at that sister-country’s 61st Independence anniversary, he pledged Nigeria’s support to Ghana in fighting corruption. Is that too much to pledge? Why should Ghanaians see this as a vacuous gesture?

    Now, they are all over the place, mocking Nigeria’s fight against corruption. They say we should go and catch the snake that swallowed N36m before lending them a hand.

    Poor fellows. They don’t know that the woman who said a snake swallowed the cash belonging to the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board (JAMB) has since confessed that her boss collected the money from her. If the Ghanaian authorities reject our hand of fellowship in this regard, there is the risk of our corrupt men – and women – joining hands with theirs to fight a common enemy.

    When corruption fights back, property merchants will start building safe houses for looters and their loot in Accra and other places. Grave diggers will start living big, not because more people are dying, but the trade has suddenly become lucrative. Big lawyers will suddenly become legal gymnasts, applying every trick of their trade to impede the dispensation of justice – no locus, adjournments,  no-case submission and appeal. Besides, accused persons will start attending court on stretchers.

    Ghanaians should simply agree that we are way ahead of them in this game.