The Nation Newspaper

Category: Commentaries

  • S’eruba S’erubawon

    The latest play from the stable of Prof. Wole Soyinka, our own WS, is Alapata Apata. Unfortunately, Hardball has not read that play.

    But its stunning pun of a butcher (Alapata , in Yoruba) doing his butchering in Apata (Yoruba for rock, though there is a rocky neighbourhood in Ibadan, Oyo State, which hosts the Government College, Ibadan, the secondary school the Nobel Laureate attended), is suggestive of some high drama.

    That is why Hardball will most respectfully request our WS to craft another play, S’eruba S’erubawon, to capture the electoral theatre of the absurd, looming over Ekiti State and the State of Osun.

    To put the records straight, S’erubawon is the formidable one that puts the fear of God into others. That was the moniker, on the hustings, of Isiaka Adeleke, who served as two-year governor of Osun State, in the Ibrahim Babangida diarchy, before Sani Abacha scrapped all the grand pretence. That was Adeleke’s first coming.

    But his second coming, his much touted, eleventh-hour Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) gubernatorial bid for the State of Osun, has been less than rosy. The one who used to put the fear of God into others has become one, in which others put the fear of God! That is the long and short of the pitiful collapse of Adeleke’s gubernatorial bid; and hence, the urgent request for the play, S’eruba S’erubawon.

    The S’erubawon of yore, apparently thought nothing of the Biblical quip that the kingdom of God suffers violence — until, from news report, he got the sobering treatment. The iconoclastic duo of Iyiola Omisore and Jelili Adesiyan, simply S’eruba S’erubawon (mortally scared the hitherto intrepid).

    The combined forces of Omisore, Adeleke’s rival for the ticket, and Adesiyan, minister of Police Affairs and his armada of Police henchmen, reportedly did the trick. The pair and their uniformed enforcers allegedly gave Adeleke the beating of his life. That virtually excoriated from him any gubernatorial spirit! Now, from the safety of his Ede country home, S’erubawon is threatening court action.

    The Osun travesty, where an opponent would allegedly manhandle another to scare him off the race, is the grim symbol of the PDP-Jonathan Presidency’s conspiratorial tactics in the two crucial elections in Ekiti and Osun.

    The PDP knows, from its records in the two states, and its parlous federal scorecard, the election would be a disaster.

    Yet, it is bent on illicit and illegal tactics, euphemistically called federal might: Musiliu Obanikoro, minister of state for Defence, putting troops to illegal and partisan uses in Lagos; and Adesiyan making the Police no less than uniformed thugs in Osun. Put in the pair of peculiar candidates in Ayo Fayose (Ekiti) and Omisore (Osun), and the picture is all too clear.

    But all this is not new. Jonathan should find time to read Soyinka’s Ibadan: The Penkelemes Years (for what happened to the power rascals of the 1st Republic); and enjoy Unlimited Liability Company, the musical album that saw off the National Party of Nigeria (NPN) power bandits of the 2nd Republic.

    Those who don’t learn from history are fated to end in its belly!

     

     

     

     

  • Ending the baby factory menace

    SIR: What has now become a public issue is the sale of babies – menace which may have been going on for some time – as teenage girls become victims of unwanted pregnancies and the children produced are sold out for adoption to needy couples who badly want.

    At the baby making factory, young girls are encouraged or forced to become pregnant and after they have given birth, the newborn babies are be sold out, usually between N500,000 or more, depending  on the sex of the child.

    Who are patrons of these factories? The answer is simple – it is either those parents who badly need children, which they do not ordinarily have or the mischievous people that may require human parts for inhuman reasons.

    In many African countries, a couple’s inability to give birth to children few years after marriage is often frowned at by family members and even the extended family members, culminating into family members trading blames and pointing accusing fingers to the wives for the inability to bear children. This social problem will continue to fester unless drastic steps are taken to address the contending issues surrounding the spread of baby factories. To begin with, our adoption laws should be reviewed without further delay as this will give those who seek to have children – when they cannot produce biologically – the clean option.

    Apart from that, married people still have to contend with the challenge of covering up the tracks of the origin of the children who should necessarily be integrated into the family. Also, some of these establishments and government institutions reel-out age limits for the needy couples and for those that are more than 50 years, their applications may not be treated at all.

    Another factor that still encourages the booming trade, is the huge cost required in seeking medical assistance to have children. The In Vitro Fertilization  process is usually out of reach of the average couple. Going by the prevailing economic situation, it is a bitter truth that only a few could afford the cost, which is not less than N1million per attempt.  Government should provide the leeway by comimg in to seek ways of helping couples.

    Another point of concern is the need for effective monitoring of several organizations that engage in nefarious activities that are largely unknown to the government. The surprise is that virtually all the organizations involved in the baby factory saga claimed to be duly registered. These ‘factories’ were found to have registered as non-governmental organizations, which allows them to carry out their unofficial activities through the back door. The government should tighten its registration and monitoring of NGOs.

    Finally, more access should be accorded the females to get sound education; baby factories would be starved of willing girls who readily donate their wombs at ridiculous fees. It is lack of self-worth, esteem and value for life caused by poor education that would want to make a girl to donate her womb to carry pregnancy and then sell the baby!

    • Adewale Kupoluyi

    Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta

     

  • Ogun APC Ward Congress: Beacon of hope

    Ogun APC Ward Congress: Beacon of hope

    SIR: Permit me to use this medium to congratulate the Ogun State chapter of the All Progressives Congress (APC) for holding a successful Ward Congress on Saturday, April 5. That exercise, by all accounts, ranks among the best in the annals of party politics in Nigeria. It was not only peaceful but inclusive and the turn-out impressive.

    Both the leader of the party, Chief Olusegun Osoba and the state governor, Senator Ibikunle Amosun, jointly monitored the exercise, thus giving the lie to the rumour of division within the state APC. Of course, no one expected a 100 per cent success in any election – without one or two hitches. And I believe the governor underscored the essence of sincerity after last Saturday’s Local Government Congress in explaining this human phenomenon.

    Amosun was reported in the papers to have said thus: “Whatever minor hitches witnessed in the conduct of the poll could only be “because we are human, not angels. The good thing is that there was no deliberate action on the part of the officials to disenfranchise anyone. All tendencies in the party were fully represented. Either as winners or losers in the Congress of today, we are all one in APC.  Our goal is one, so is our aspiration in Ogun APC.”

    It is however sad to read of deliberate distortion of  the Ward Congress in one or two papers. It is one thing to understate or exaggerate an event that happened but when some writers manufacture an event that never took place, then they act against public interest. Such amounts to gross misconduct and the public should be wary of accepting hook, line and sinker reports they themselves know could be improbable or fly in the face of realities and accounts of other sources.

    Just like the governor, I was shocked to read in two papers “that parallel congresses were held in all the 236 wards in Ogun State.” This is comprehensive falsehood. It never happened. Not one parallel ward congress was held throughout Ogun on that fateful day.

    Let me quote the reaction of Amosun to this lie:  “How can this be true? We are all witnesses to what happened last Saturday. Except in a few wards where unavoidable change of venue led to some justifiable complaints, which were immediately redressed by our party leader, Chief Osoba, after which the exercise went on smoothly, where on earth did we witness parallel congresses, as reported in some papers?” the governor had asked rhetorically.

    I declare that the APC Ward Congress held on Saturday, April 5, remains a landmark in the annals of Nigeria and is therefore a beacon of hope for all lovers of democracy. The ward congress is the foundation of all other congresses. It is like the foundation of a house. Once the foundation is strong, the house will be strong.

    Congratulations to Ogun APC, its leaders at the state and national levels and all lovers of democracy in Nigeria.

    • Soyombo Opeyemi

    Abeokuta

     

  • Memo to National Conference

    I predicted in 2005 that the then National Political Reform Conference (NPRC) would end up in the dustbin of history because the delegates deliberately failed to tackle Nigeria’s fundamental problem, namely, an appropriate geo-ethno-polity for the country. Till date, there is nothing from that conference that forms a strategic part of the Nigerian political economy despite the huge sums of public money and man hours expended on it. The ongoing National Conference will suffer a similar fate if its delegates play the ostrich and ignore this nagging problem. In fact this conference should be concerned with only one question: What kind of geo-ethno-political structure will facilitate Nigeria’s development? This conference will not turn Nigeria around for the better without the restructuring of the country from the current 36 states to at the least a six geopolitical zone structure.

    The current 36-state structure is extremely expensive. Cut Nigeria’s clothes according to her cloth. The current 36-state structure has created more avenues of corruption. Contract the states and reduce avenues of corruption. The current 36-state structure makes politicians out of people who do not have the credentials and personal qualities to deal with the daunting problem of Nigeria’s development. Come to think of it, no one in mainstream politics today, federal or state, comes close to the commitment, dedication, vision and developmental acumen and courage of Nnamdi Azikiwe, Tafawa Balewa, Obafemi Awolowo, M. I. Okpara, Ahmadu Bello, Dennis Osadebey, J.S Tarka, I. U. Akpabio, Anthony Enahoro, to mention a few. The quality and achievements of ministers, parliamentarians, and bureaucrats of the pre-civil era were far superior to what we have today. They had their own weaknesses, but nothing close to the degree of political, economic and developmental incompetence and societal disorganization that Nigeria has witnessed since their exit. They were saints and outstanding agents of development compared to what we have seen of Nigerian politicians and bureaucrats since the last 30 years. Contract the current 36-state structure into six zones. This will widen the geographic space from which politicians are drawn. This will help to reduce tout politics.

    Some delegates in this conference have indicated their interest in new states. Creating new states will increase Nigeria’s economic and social problems by enlarging the number of waste pipes by way of new governors, legislators, councilors, and bureaucrats most of who have no sense of urgency to change things in a country where more than 70% of the people either suffer from abject poverty or are managing to scrape-by in a land of plenty. Look at Nigeria’s development indicators over the years. One can extrapolate that the more the number of states the more dismal the national economic indicators.

    Yes, Nigeria was recently named one of the 26 largest economies in the world because it posted an impressive GDP. It overtook South Africa as the largest economy on the continent, yet thousands of Nigerians regularly stream to South Africa, or die at the borders of lesser economies in search of basic sources of sustenance. GDP does not put food on the table. Gainfully employed people do. GDP does not, in and of itself, create and/or enlarge employment opportunities. Competent, imaginative and courageous governments pave the way through pro-growth policies that harness the private sector to diversify economic activity.

    Some other delegates have suggested a six-year single term for the presidency rotated among six geopolitical zones. The concentrated decentralization resultant in a six-zone geo-political structure is a good start in the blueprint for geo-political restructuring. But you should remember that the rotation of the presidency and the number of years of incumbency are not as important as the amount of power embedded in the office. Dealing with the latter, that is, decreasing the power of the presidency is therefore part of the real restructuring endeavor.

    Remember also that the idea of a National Conference has a history. Restructuring the geo-ethno-polity was the primary reason for agitation for a national conference by its initial proponents. This conference should not forget that history. The 2005 conference relegated that primary reason to the margins of its deliberations. Restructuring was hardly discussed and those who talked about it were like voices in the wilderness. Hence the outcomes of that conference also ended up in the wilderness of history.

    Put more directly, a six-zone regional structure as federating units will reduce cost of government and save a lot of public money, reduce avenues of corruption, provide a better chance of selecting better people into government, create a sense of regional ownership, and enhance the developmental consciousness that comes with that sense of ownership and economies of scale.

    Yes, the delegates of the 2014 National Conference have proposed or created committees on social welfare, the environment, national security, science and technology, labour and sports, etc. Be informed that these are mere administrative issues. Failures in these areas occurred because the executive and legislative branches of government and their ancillary agencies failed in their duties over the years.

    What haven’t we heard, or what don’t we know, about the Nigerian economy, national security, energy, elections, science and technology, agriculture, transportation and the like that necessitate a national conference on them? I bet that volumes of reports on some of these issues have been gathering dust on the shelves of libraries of higher educational institutions, government agencies, private consultancies, and domestic and international non-governmental organizations, These issues which can easily be hashed out by a task force of the National Assembly occupied primacy in the 2005 conference and rendered that conference redundant and useless.

    So think of restructuring the geo-ethno-polity, that is, the intersection of geography, ethnic identification and political expression, as a more strategic issue. Think of restructuring as the path to your legacy in Nigeria’s history. Consequently, only two committees in the 2014 National Conference are worth spending the people’s money on. They are, The Political Restructuring and Forms of Government Committee, and the Devolution of Power Committee. The other committees are a waste of the people’s money.

    The devolution of power in a six-zone regional structure should be such that regions will intrinsically own and shoulder the ultimate responsibility for their development. That is what strong regions do all over the world. The present national psyche which sees the federal government as the ultimate instrument of national development is counter-productive and must come to an end. Geo-political restructuring holds the key.

     

    Ukaegbu, Professor of Sociology & Development Studies, currently serves as Distinguished Senior Lecturer at Northwestern University, Evanston, IL USA

  • So there’s no division in PDP?

    SIR: Wonders shall never end; the news is more than incredible. Despite the hullabaloo in the ruling Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) from August to December, 2013, someone is saying there is no division in PDP.

    Is it the walkout staged by some warring governors/formation of New PDP or the season of letters created by a former President or the mass defection of some PDP members to APC?

    From acts of impunity to suspension, no one can count the number of court cases which involved PDP during this period. Did all these not portray division? The issue is obvious, it is visible to the blind and audible to the deaf. Only the dead will claim there is no division in PDP last year because as we were reading it in newspapers, we watched on TV and listen to it on radio.

    So, if with all the series of events that follows the party’s National Conference at Abuja, a judge now gives a verdict that “there is no division in PDP”, then we can proclaim loud and clear that God help Nigeria! May be, those who believe that Nigeria’s judiciary is corrupt is right after all.

    The truth of the matter is that, PDP is just resuscitating itself after it witnessed a season of war. So, the court judgement that declared the defection of some legislators to the APC is very funny. I can’t even stop laughing about it.

    Jamiu Idowu Esho,

    Eruwa, Oyo State.

  • How Kwankwaso is changing face of Kano

    Sir: University of Ibadan (UI) management team was recently in Kano State to pay homage to the Institution’s Chancellor, the Emir of Kano, Alhaji Ado Bayero.  The team led by the University of Ibadan Vice-Chancellor, Prof. Isaac Folorunso Adewole was also strategizing towards building a lecture theatre in honour of the Emir to be known as “Ado Bayero Lecture Theatre of UI School of Business”.  This mission, as well as other matters of interest compelled the team to spend four days in the ancient city of Kano.

    From the testimonies of the commercial cab operators to the visible evidence of modernity as well as on-going projects dotting the landscape, visitors to the state begin to savor  the flavor of rich dividends of democracy.  For instance, all major streets are well lit and illuminated by various gigantic power generating sets installed in conspicuous place for public monitoring.  The traffic lights on all the major roads as well, are spectacles to behold.  Among the amazing legacies of Governor Rabiu Kwakwanso is the superimposing flyover at Kofa Nasarawa which is still under construction.

    Indeed, it was astonishment all the way when we visited Kwankwasiyya – one of the three new cities the governor is building.  It is a virgin land turned to modern city with captivating structures of various sizes commanding attention.  The road network is strikingly exciting.  Amazing duplexes, built in a large variety of configurations as well as bungalows and block of flats with spectacular colour and class in a well laid out fashion characterize the new city.  At the permanent site of the second state university called North-West University, which the governor is building,  we were told that he built the first state University called Kano University of Technology, Wudil during his first term in office (1999-2014) and he is now building the second university again.

    As a demonstration of his passion for education, Kwankwaso has sponsored over 2,000 students to universities across the world to study Medicine, Nursing, Piloting, Aeronautical Engineering, Pharmacy and Marine Engineering among others.  He has also rejuvenated all primary and secondary schools just as he has constructed more than 1,600 classrooms and 800 offices.

    But apart from federal allocation and Internally Generated Revenue, does he get money elsewhere? Investigation revealed that prudence ,transparency and proper application of available resources to key priorities are the secrets behind the phenomenal performance of Kano State governor.

    He reportedly cancelled the infamous security vote,through which substantial fund is being siphoned thus, drastically reducing overheads.  He then initiated measures that jerked up the Internally Generated Revenue of the state from N400 million to about N2 billion monthly.

    There are many inherent lessons that could be gleaned from the Kwankwaso story. Fiscal discipline is a requirement for meaningful performance.  Development will continue to elude any country that frivolously wastes resources.  There is  a need to curtail financial recklessness in government circles.

    Again, any government or public office holder who performs well in office will be generally applauded and appreciated. A good name is better than riches, so says an adage. Kwankwaso’s reputation is fast soaring away positively.  He is winning laurels and awards here and there.

    It is pertinent for all the governors to move round and compare note.  Many governors will feed challenged if only they can visit Kano to see what Kwankwaso is doing particularly his housing project.  Although, there are still challenges in Kano, Kwankwaso has certainly taken the state to a better pedestal.  For instance, there is still much more work to be done in the area of environmental sanitation.  Some of the places are still dirty.  Some market places visited were so untidy.  Destitute are still on the streets despite the governor’s determination to rehabilitate them and clean the streets.

    Sunday Saanu,

    University of Ibadan

  • Lagos, Ehingbeti and accelerated power delivery

    In the words of Harvey Firestone, foremost American Business man, “Capital isn’t so important in business. Experience isn’t so important. You can get both. What is important is ideas. If you have ideas, you have the main asset you need, and there isn’t any limit to what you can do with your business and your life.”

    The Ehingbeti Summit is one of the several innovative ideas that the Lagos State government has initiated to enhance sustainable growth and development in the state. The Summit is a platform through which the state engages the organised private sector to serve as vehicle for the formulation of innovative ideas and policies that will enhance the state’s socio-economic development. It is also designed to attract local and foreign investors just as it showcases the various investment opportunities that abound in the state.

    Since the first edition of the summit in 2000, it has developed into a constructive intellectual  forum for the stimulation of economic growth in Lagos State, and indeed Nigeria. As a result of the need for realistic assessment of implementable goals against set benchmarks, the summit, which started as an annual event when the first edition was held, was to later become a biennial event in 2008. The first three editions of Ehingbeti were deliberately, for obvious reasons, planned to be diagnostic in nature. This was to ensure that the challenges were properly identified and articulated so that short, medium and long term solutions could be found for them. Hence, experts and consultants in various fields were brought on board to share experiences together. However, by the fourth summit in 2008, which was the first edition to be held under the present administration, a blueprint had been developed for implementation. The state government has since implemented over 100 resolutions reached at past editions of the summit.

    A review of the implementation of the resolutions and recommendation of the 2012 Summit with the theme, ‘’From BRICS to BRINCS: Lagos Holds the Key” by the Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs) responsible for the areas of concentration revealed that a lot of success has been recorded with achievable targets in full focus. The core areas of the summit in 2012 were Power, Agriculture, Transportation and Housing, which gave rise to the acronym PATH. Massive investments and initiatives have since been undertaken by the state government in those sectors in conjunction with the private sector and other development partners. This is a clear evidence of the resolve on the part of government to ensure that the summit is not just another talkshop.

    It is not surprising; therefore, that Lagos, in the last 13 years, has become a model for governance in the country. Novel attainments such as the Bus Rapid Transport System (BRT), Independent Power Plants (IPP),  the on-going Lagos Light Rail System and the pattern of road designs with pedestrian walk ways are products of key decisions reached at past Ehingbeti summits. Similarly, the transformation of the Lagos Island Central Business District, CBD, Badagry and Lekki corridors, Yaba, Surulere, Alimosho to mention a few are parts of the success story of Ehingbeti over the years. Today, all over the state, the state government is living up to one of its basic responsibilities to provide critical transport infrastructure by building new roads.

    In order to sustain current pace of development in the state, this year’s Ehingbeti Summit with the theme: ‘Powering The Lagos Economy: Real Opportunities, Endless Possibilities’, focused mainly on the crucial issue of constant and sustainable electricity supply in the state. The essence of the 2014 summit’s focus on power is for the private sector to draw the attention of the government to places where its activities would enable the private sector achieve its potential in terms of delivering of service, provision of opportunities and growth of the economy. On its part, the state government has been working tirelessly in pursuit of a new power agenda for the state. Presently, the state government is working on a plan to set up a one-stop shop to fast-track the handling of all issues relating to right of way and power infrastructure development in the state. Similarly, apart from the three functional power plants in Akute, Lagos Island and Alausa, the state government is currently working to install two other plants in strategic locations of the state.

    Being an integral part of  PATH (Power, Agriculture, Transportation and Housing), the state’s new developmental direction, the Lagos State government’s resolve to evolve  new strategies that will enhance stable and constant electricity supply in the state is quite logical.  For instance, regular and stable power supply will enable the state  to unleash the possibilities of the economy beyond  imagination.  Small businesses within the state will, no doubt, thrive better if more creative schemes are put in place to guarantee un-hindered power supply. Equally, multi-national firms that have closed shop in Lagos because of the epileptic nature of power could be lured back if the power situation improves. This would not only bring back lost jobs, but will certainly restore lost ones. Similarly, regular power supply will, no doubt, lead to a much safer Lagos where every inch of it is lit up at night.

    From the various discussions at the 2014 Ehingbeti summit, it is quite clear that the country would not be able to accelerate its socio-economic growth unless, concerted efforts are made to develop creative initiatives that could confront and overcome current power situation. As the most populous black country in the world, we need to do more in respect of adequate power generation and effective distribution. The top 20 countries of the world such as China, which is currently the world’s largest producer of power, South Africa and Mexico, among others, generate power in excess of their demand.

    For the power need of the Lagos to be effectively met, efforts must be made to ensure proper alignment of the entire value chain of power generation, transmission and distribution. Equally, the development of emergency power system, increased partnership with Independent Power Plant (IPP) producers, the creation of necessary institutional frameworks and facilitation of an enabling environment would go a long way to accelerate power delivery to the state.

    Undoubtedly, if effectively implemented, the various recommendations of 2014 Ehingbeti summit would help accelerate the socio-economic development and growth of the state, since effective power delivery is central to the realization of the state government’s Ten Point Agenda.  Given the centrality of Lagos to the overall economic prosperity of Nigeria, it is essential that the state government continue to support new initiatives, ideas and visions that could improve power delivery in the state and, indeed, the country at large

     

    Ogunbiyi is of Features Unit, Ministry of Information and Strategy, Lagos.

  • Plea on LAUTECH Teaching Hospital strike

    The diverse and multiple sufferings and hardships that many citizens of our beloved country, Nigeria are experiencing nowadays are better imagined than described. The unemployment palaver, non-payment of senior citizens or retirees allowances and stipends, inadequate social amenities, psychological and physical trauma from activities of armed robbers, kidnappers and terrorists are issues that make life almost unbearable for the masses.

    However, the indefinite strike embarked upon by health workers at Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH) Teaching Hospital, Ogbomoso, Oyo State, which has entered its third week, and its consequences necessitates a clarion call on the sensitive government of Oyo State to find immediate solution.

    Among the grievances of the workers is the non- payment of the January-March salaries. The workers are also protesting the payment of their salaries and allowances to Osogbo, Osun State, more so, when Ogbomoso Teaching Hospital is an autonomous institution that should not be tied to the apron strings of its Osogbo counterpart. It is a truism that when two elephants fight, it is the grass that inevitably and unjustly bears the suffering. We therefore implore the amiable and genial Oyo State governor; Senator Abiola Ajimobi to do everything possible to end the strike immediately as anything that can be done to alleviate and ameliorate the suffering of Nigeria citizens is not only necessary, but imperative at such a critical time as this. A stitch in time goes the adage, saves nine.

    •Pastor Adegbite A Sunday Ogbomoso.

  • Wow! Hardball rebases his economy too

    Gee, whoever thought up this rebasing of economy a la Nigeria must be a genius. Delayed rebasing is like delayed gratification – it just streams in endlessly like someone on an extended trip to cloud nine. Imagine what it would be for Hardball, who had never based his economy before, not to talk of rebasing – I instantly became a billionaire upon first basing and then rebasing my economy in one sweet stretch.

    Now it was a bit complicated considering that I am neither a statistician nor an economist, but I just applied a few rules of the thumb. I first created baskets of all my portfolio of assets. For instance, all my bank accounts – both live and moribund; all my two-bit stocks, including those I cannot find the addresses of the companies anymore and those that had never paid nary a kobo dividend since I was corralled into buying their public offer. In another basket are my salary and other incomes from P-P (we all know what that means don’t we?) and beneficence from well-wishers and people of goodwill. Yet I opened another basket for my pension scheme, esusu, co-operative and thrift penny clubs. I also worked out my landed properties, which comprised a city boy’s quarter apartment and a village cottage.

    Wow, you never really know how much you were worth until you begin to tab it. I threw in my seven-year old corolla and my wife’s 10-year old. I then opened what I termed the domestic basket. Here, I threw in my wife and four children and, of course, the house-keeping money over the years (they are assets aren’t they?); I listed the household items in the houses – from the settee to the kitchen utensils down to my boxers and even madam’s small pieces of clothes and lipsticks. I captured also, all the school fees I had paid for myself, my wife and even my children from their kindergarten days up to this moment (now this is huge). There are also the school books, uniforms, all the little extortionate side payments.

    There is also the social basket, which will hold all such activities like naming ceremonies, birthdays, weddings, aso-ebis, etc. The church is not to be lumped in one basket with the socials – the offerings, the harvests, bazaars, special thanksgiving, building funds, welfare fund, this fund and that fund. The more I give it a thought, the more baskets of assets I fill out to overflowing.

    It can also get a little complicated: would I include all the gifts and donations I had made to less privileged people, including relatives? What about servicing of vehicles, payment of mai-guards, all the drinks I have quaffed and offered to friends and other kuru-kere expenses, the specificity of which are better loaded under miscellaneous, as one may not be terribly proud of them?

    But surely, I must capture all my written works – books of poems, hundreds of articles which could translate into books someday; one must also quantify the column name, which has become a high value brand, and the person behind the column, which could become an instrument of brand/corporate endorsement someday soon.

    There must be so much more left un-captured, especially some brilliant ideas I have swimming in my head all this while. But these will do for now. Upon quantifying all these, I found that I am suddenly a billionaire; what feel good feeling it gives me, but I dare not mention my new worth at home, lest the house-keeping money instantly skyrockets to the status befitting of a truly wealthy man. But great feeling it is all the same.

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