The Nation Newspaper

Category: Entertainment

  • Types of Humour (2)

    Types of Humour (2)

    Last week, we discussed some types of humour you need to understand to make your speech interesting. Having stated that humour was indispensable to entertaining speech, we examined the following types of humour: pun, malapropism and parody. We also learnt that we should not conclude that being funny was not our thing; rather, we should work on ourselves to be funny.

    Now, I don’t suppose I’m writing this for professional comedians. I assume they are already good at it, such that I may have one or two things to learn from them. However, I believe I’m writing this for people who want to be better in their communication skills, and who want to interest their audience in an exciting speech. If I am correct, then you must understand that your audience does not expect you to be perfect. For instance, the guests at an investment practitioners’ luncheon cannot expect the MC, whom they know to be one of them, to make them laugh as a professional comedian would do. This is not to make you settle for a weak performance with the excuse, “They know I’m not a professional”; rather, it is to make you know that your listeners are ready to accept you. Forget about the tension, relax and enjoy it as much as everyone else. They are ready to appreciate your effort, no matter how little. If, however, you succeed in being quite funny, they will appreciate you even more by responding favourably.

    Ok, so let’s consider some other types of humour that you can use for your “funny” speech. This is a continuation from last week; so, permit me to continue the numbering from number four.

    •Mixed Metaphor: this is a type of humour that permits the user to mix up a common saying in order to achieve a comic effect. Of course, the audience must be familiar with the saying that is being mixed. Here are a few examples: a car comes up behind you, flashing his horn (Aaron Colwick). We all know that you flash light and not horn, and that you don’t use “his” for a car! A leopard can’t change his stripes (Al Gore)- Leopards have spots, not stripes. Biting the hand that rocks the cradle (Sherri Barber)- this should be biting the hand that feeds you. There are many more. You can mix yours based on the occasion you want to use it for. For instance, you may ask a couple to kiss at their wedding reception, and then ask the guests to block their ears so that they don’t see it.

    •Irony: this involves making statements that imply the opposite of their literal meanings. This is a very effective way of generating humour. When you make such statements, your tone, mode of presentation and use of words will make it clear to the audience that you mean the opposite. For instance, if you are presenting an award to an unusually tall person, you may say to the audience, “Ladies and gentlemen, join me as I kneel to present this award.” Also, you may say this about your rich friend at a charity event, “My friend is a really poor man. He is so poor that he has donated five million naira to this orphanage without even writing a cheque!”

    • Understatement: here, you are deliberately reducing whatever you are talking about to a ridiculous size in order to create humour. Since your listeners know the real value or size of what you are talking about, they find your speech humourous. For instance, you may ask, “What’s wrong with holding a lion by its collar?” or “I don’t have a good appetite today, I’ve only been able to eat ten loaves of bread, a crate of eggs, fifty liter juice and three whole barbequed chicken.”

    •Overstatement: yes, you got that right! I can imagine you saying that it is the opposite of understatement. In this case, you deliberately maximize or exaggerate the size or value of a thing. For instance, you may say, “You can’t imagine how much it cost me to buy this dress; I practically closed up my account to buy it. In case you want it too, it costs N150. 00, VAT (value added tax) included.” You may also say this about a groom at a wedding reception, “When Mike first met Tina, he was really fat. He was so fat that she was scared…he stood on a weight and it read zero! Today, you can see that the story is different.”

    •Stating the Obvious: this is an interesting technique because it involves you telling your audience what they know already. It is the “ridiculousness” that makes the audience laugh. For instance, you may say, “I was shocked when I looked into the mirror this morning and realized that I’m a male!” or “Do you know that airplanes fly? I just discovered that today!”

    These are some of the types of humour that can serve your purpose. Like I usually say, there are several others that we cannot explore within the time and space available to us here. So, go right ahead and read further and I’m sure you will find more useful and interesting materials.

     

  • The other side of an Army General

    The other side of an Army General

    A dinner has been held for the General Officer Commanding, GOC, 81 Division Major General Obi Abel Umahi, for his posting to Lagos. PRECIOUS IGBONWELUNDU was at the Civic Centre, Victoria Island, Lagos, venue of the event.

    It was an evening set aside to honour Major General Obi Abel Umahi, General Officer Commanding, GOC, 81 Division turned the ceremony into a soul-winning gathering.

    The venue was the Civic Centre, Victoria Island, Lagos. It was organised by the King’s Court Parish of the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), Victoria Island.

    Although the event attracted the high and mighty within and outside Lagos, not many of the guests knew that aside being a brilliant officer, Umahi was also a dedicated pastor.

    The hall was decorated with glamorous décor; attendees were treated to a six-course meal with assorted non-alcoholic drinks, just as the Master of Ceremony (MC) ensured there was no dull moment.

    The event began on a prayer note. After which, there was rendition of the National Anthem.

    Devoid of the usual high table setting, guests were ushered into a circular table, full of various drinks, pepper soup and small chops.

    There were few jokes delivered by the emcee and a pictorial documentary of the celebrator was shown to the crowded hall.

    RCCG King’s Court Parish Senior Pastor Ben Akabueze. He admonished men of fame and power to cease from being arrogant as well as stop neglecting men of God.

    Using the biblical Naaman as an example, he said: “They (influential men) are always looking for the logical, sensible and high sounding solutions. Often times the solutions God provides sound too stupid and simplistic to men of fame and power-they always think themselves wise.

    “So many of them pretend like they have got it all right and have no need. God can send help through someone you least imagined. Do not be so arrogant that you miss the needed help.”

    He described Gen Umahi as a unique officer and a gentleman.

    “A dedicated Christian; someone who reveres God and blessed with a wonderful family,” he said.

    Ebonyi State Deputy Governor Dake Umahi, who is the celebrator’s younger brother said: “Ever since our father died, Obi has held the family with unity and love such that my boss, Elechi Amadi describes him as ‘My own General’.

    “Obi’s kindness and dedication to the family endeared him to all, especially our mother who blessed him; he has the best of family, I envy him.”

    He described him as a man of character and high integrity.

    Also speaking, Mrs Joyce Adebola, a family friend of 20 years, praised Umahi’s love for God.

    She said: “His (Umahi’s) advice to my family has kept us moving forward. He does not have questionable character. I wish him the best.”

    Guests were stunned and sober as Umahi spoke of his challenging moments.

    While many, who were touched, answered the ‘altar-call’, the audience could not help but salute the General with resounding applauses after his practical instances of the benefits of holding unto God. He stressed that the differences between Christians and Muslims were created by manipulation.

    One of such touching stories was Umahi’s testimony of how his mother was miraculously healed over 40 years ago, from the point of death, as well as his confession of how ‘juju’ failed him during his first ECOMOG operation in Liberia.

    Although he became ‘born-again’ while in primary school, Umahi said he backslided later in the years because he lacked counselling, especially because his father believed in ‘juju’.

    Although Umahi’s passion was to be a professor of international repute, fate had another plan for him as he went to the Nigerian Defence Academy (NDA) to teach but was commissioned into the army.

    “I went to Liberia for ECOMOG operation in 1989, but before I went, my father took me to a place to be fortified and given a ring, which I wore on my left finger. After that, he took me to another place and I was given an amulet, which I also put in my left pocket.

    “I was full of confidence that nothing will happen to me in Liberia but surprisingly, I was shot by rebels on my left side, the very side I had the charms. I returned to Nigeria in 1990 and kept wondering the essence of the black power that was not effective. I told myself there must be another way out.

    “Fortunately, on November 1, 1991, I came in contact with God. Divine partnership with God is the ultimate in life. I have had challenges in my career but God has seen me through. When God releases his finger to fight for you, no power can stop you. When he partners with you, he can use anybody to bless you,” he said.

    At the ceremony were the Chief Executive Officer, (CEO), Diamond Bank, Alex Otti; Lagos State Commissioner for Special Duties, Wale Ahmed; Nolloywood stars, Stephanie Okereke and her husband, Linus Idahosa; Segun Arinze; Shan George; United State’s Consul-General, Jeffery Hawkins; Army Generals, A.A. Sangotade, Edward Nze; Mr. Shola Adebola, among others.

  • A new septuagenarian on the block

    A new septuagenarian on the block

    His education was almost truncated because of fund, but Prof Ropo Sekoni’s determination to be a scholar saw him through. Sekoni, a member of the Editorial Board of The Nation and Board Chairman, Wole Soyinka Centre for Investigative Journalism, turned 70 last week. Family members, friends and associates gathered to share in the joy of the day with him in Lagos. RISIKAT RAMONI reports.

    He grew up the hard way. Going to school was not easy after his father’s timber business collapsed. He was then in form two, but he was determined not to allow that misfortune to disrupt his education.

    That small boy of yesterday has come of age. He celebrated his 70th birthday in Lagos last week. For Prof Oluropo Sekoni, it was time to thank God for seeing him through that most difficult time of his life. The boy, who found it difficult to pay his way through secondary school, is today a Professor of Literature in English at the Lincoln University, United States.

    Sekoni said: “It was tough going to secondary school, especially in my first two years because I had to go soliciting for help to pay my fees. Apart from that challenge of not having extra money, we were getting one shilling as pocket money in a week in the boarding school.”

    But he was motivated by his father’s commitment to education, even though the old man was not educated. And when Sekoni saw some students during an excursion to the University of Ibadan (UI) in 1958, his mind was made up on the path to take.

    “I saw undergraduates going to the university with academic gowns, I was surprised. I also saw how decent lecturers’ houses looked. At that time, I knew that education was important. I also saw how Africans were living in some mansions. At that time, I believed education was meant to change the quality of one’s life. Education was attributed to decent behaviour, decent living, good jobs and respect in the community. So, I was motivated to change the quality of my life,” he said.

    So, he did menial jobs to sponsor his education.

    As a Professor in a US university, Sekoni shuttled between home, where he is a member of the Editorial Board of The Nation and Board Chairman, Wole Soyinka Centre for Investigative Journalism, and America.

    A- list personalities attended his 70th birthday reception at the Senator H.A.B Fasinro Hall of the City Hall, Lagos Island.

    The birthday ‘boy’ looked 50. He was charming in a cream lace Agbada with a pair of black shoes. He topped it with a wine Aso oke cap and a muffler of the same material on his shoulder.

    His wife Banke wore a wine lace Iro and buba with gele to match.

    The guests were dressed in various attires, except his children and in-laws.

    The boys wore white heavily-embroidered Agbada and wine stripe Aso oke cap.

    The women, including his in-laws wore the same damask material with purple headgear.

    A live band, the Faith Music Group entertained guests.

    Though it was not an occasion for speeches, a few guests, who spoke with The Nation, praised Sekoni

    Mrs Sekoni resisted all pleas by this reporter to speak. She was busy attending to guests. She and her child Yetunde moved round the hall to ensure that everybody was attended to.

    It took the intervention of her husband to get her to speak. She described her husband as “Super” and wished him long life.

    Archbishop Ayo Ladigbolu also wished him “the best of a future where and when he will stand on the side of the people against oppression and victimisation.”

    Prof Sekoni’s daughter, Tolu wished her dad “the very best in life.”

    “You are a good man. You’re simply the best. I love you and I pray God blesses you with many more years so you can see all your grandchildren,” she said.

    “I feel great,” Prof Sekoni responded to a question by The Nation.

    Turning 70, he said, was a major accomplishment.

    “”I never believed I could reach 70 years on earth because my parents died when I was young and when one sums up their age then, it was not up to 70. Also, in a country where the average life expectancy is 50, if one attains 70, he should thank God,” he said.

    Soon, it was time to dance. the celebrator engaged his children, family members and guests on the dance floor.

    For those who thought the septuagenarian could only dance to local oldies’ music, he proved them wrong when he gyrated with his children to the R ’n B played by the Disk Jockey.

    There were enough drinks and food. Guests relished African and foreign cuisine. Guests went home with different souvenirs.

    Among the guests were Gen Alani Akinrinade (rtd); Nobel laureate Prof Wole Soyinka; Ekiti State Deputy Governor, Prof Modupe Adelabu; son of the late Bola Ige, Muyiwa; Managing Director/Editor-in-Chief, Vintage Press Ltd, publishers of The Nation Mr Victor Ifijeh; Chairman Editorial Board of The Nation Mr Sam Omatseye and Editor, The Nation Mr Gbenga Omotoso, among others

  • Bible Society sends off CEO

    The Bible Society of Nigeria (BSN) has held a send off party for its Secretary-General/Chief Executive Officer (CEO), Dr Fred Odutola, who retired after 31 years in service. The ceremony held at the Adetiloye Hall of the Archbishop Vining Memorial Cathedral in Ikeja GRA, Lagos. JOSEPH ESHANOKPE reports.

    AFTER a 31-year merritorious service, Dr Fred Odutola last week bowed out as Secretary-General/Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the Bible Society of Nigeria (BSN).

    Last Thursday, the organisation held a send-off party for him at the Adetiloye Hall of the Archbishop Vining Memorial Cathedral in Ikeja GRA, Lagos.

    The venue was filled with representatives of state areas of the organisation and Bible societies from Africa and other parts of the world. They included those from the United Kingdom, United States, Cameroun, and Mozambique – a testimony to the popularity of Odutola and BSN in the Christian community.

    In attendance were the Special Adviser to the Lagos State Governor Rev Sam Ogedengebe; Administrative Secretary of the Apostolic Church Pastor I. G. Fakunle; former Health Secretary Prince Julius Adelusi-Adeluyi; Chairman, Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) Archbishop George Amu.

    Patron of BSN and former Head of State General Yakubu Gowon said of Odutola: “As the patron of BSN, I have always found the work ethics of Dr Odutola to be quite commendable. I am aware of his deep love for Nigeria and BSN. I, therefore, wish to urge him to continue to demonstrate his love for God and country in every situation.

    “I wish to specially appreciate his yeoman’s job in entrenching good leadership at BSN. The result of his ‘personal investment’ in people and the organisation became more evident when one of his staff members clearly outperformed every other qualified candidate to succeed him.”

    He also said he was overwhelmed by the leadership qualities of Odutola such that he would have loved that his service be extended by a year.

    Wishing him a happy retirement, he said peace would always remain with him.

    There were also praises for Odutola from others, many of whom attested to his good managerial style and human relation.

    Mrs Meg Opara-Onwukwugha, who proposed the toast, described Odutola as truthful, honest and open.

    Rev O. Aibinuomo preached the sermon from Phil. 4: 10-13.

    Speaking on Strength of the Lord, he asked: ‘’Can we really do all things?” He answered: ‘’Yes. You can do all things within the assignment that God gave to you,” noting that Paul relied on God for his extensive missionary works. He described Odutola as “energetic, an orator, motivator, rugged and dogged, a story teller, risk taker with a large heart … who knows how to reach every president”.

    To show their appreciation to the outgoing Secretary-General, President of BSN, Aaron Nuhu, presented some gifts to him on behalf of the Board of Trustees of the organisation.

    They included a Prado jeep, a cheque of N3 million, and grandpa’s clock. There were also gifts from some members of staff and well-wishers.

    In his response, the former Sec-Gen, a scion of Odutola family of Ijebu Ode, thanked all for the gesture. He noted that that was the third ceremony held in his honour. He described his years at BSN as eventful, adding that he would now have time for himself.

    He listed some of his achievements, which include taking a loan of $1million to build BSN’s Guest House in Abuja. He received applause when he said the three-year loan was paid in two years and seven months.

    It was not a dull moment as music wafted from Sister Dupe Ogulana and co. Besides, a new book by Odutola titled: I am somebody was launched at the event. Also, there was a fund raiser for BSN’s programmes and projects.

  • Types of Humour

    We have been doing an interesting exploration of the lighter side of speaking- entertaining speech. Entertaining speech rides on the wings of humour; how else can you entertain people without making them laugh? Humour is a double-edged sword, which can heal or wound depending on its use and user. Comedians believe that laughter is psychologically healing, at least in the case of depression. Humour must be handled with care because when it works, it can result in a huge success, but when it fails, it can be the worst experience of the user or the person at the receiving end.

    Someone may say, “I don’t need to be funny, everyone knows I’m a serious minded person.” True, but that may be the reason you don’t usually have a lot of people around you except for official reasons. Good sense of humour is generally considered one of the most valuable social skills an individual can develop. Even at work, you need a good sense of humour to reduce stress and tension. When people laugh, they find it a lot easier to handle their tasks. You don’t believe me? Try the opposite; make your employees angry and upset and see how well they work! On the other hand, if you complement their efforts and appreciate their contributions by making good natured humour of their work habits, you will see the changes in their attitudes.

    Since humour is indispensable in entertaining speech, let’s examine some types of humour that there are. This will help us to know the most appropriate one to use for our specific needs. There are several types of humour but we will only restrict ourselves to a few.

    •Pun: this can be described as a play on words. When you use this type of humour, you employ words that have multiple meanings or that sound similar but have different meanings. For instance, if you manage an investment company and your organization is hosting major stakeholders to a luncheon, when appreciating your guests, you may say this, “Your investment is quite safe with us, though we don’t like money, we can’t do without currency.” What you have done here is to play on the words “money” and “currency” as though they are different.

    •Malapropism: this is the intentional or unintentional misuse of a word by confusing it with one with a similar sound. Danny Ozark, a baseball team manager, was quoted to have said that something was “beyond his apprehension.” The normal word that should have been used is comprehension, but since it sounds similar to apprehension, the latter was used, thereby changing the meaning of the statement. Another example is, “Segun isn’t a very clean boy, but a regular inspection of his room will serve as a detergent for the habit.” Here, detergent was used instead of deterrent. While using malapropism, it is important to pay attention to the context; the context in which the humour is used will determine if the audience find it funny or not.

    •Parody: this involves copying or imitating the style of something or someone for comic effect. Naturally, parody exaggerates and mocks the original; therefore, it can only be effective if the audience is familiar with the person or thing that is being copied. For instance, your organization may have a set of rules or code of conduct. You can exaggerate those rules in a staff get-together. You can create your own ridiculous rules about eating in the office, sleeping in the office, interaction among staff, etc. The humour here will be in the similarity between the original rules and the ones you created. You may even use a similar construction of words.

    These are some of the ways to create humour. A major key to all of these is that your humour should not be at the expense of another person. Let your speech bring pleasure to people instead of displeasure. There are still a few types of humour that we will consider next week, make it a date.

  • A matriarch’s ‘glorious’ exit

    A matriarch’s ‘glorious’ exit

    The remains of Mrs Angelina Onyebuchi Azinge, mother of Prof Epiphany Azinge, Director-General of the Nigerian Institute of Advanced Legal Studies (NIALS), have been buried  in Asaba the Delta State capital. JOHN AUSTIN UNACHUKWU reports

    It was indeed a glorious transition to eternity. Dignitaries converged to bid the matriarch of the Azinge family of Umudaike clan, Asaba, Delta State, Mrs Angelina Onyebuchi Azinge, farewell.

    Madam Azinge died on May 6, at 89.

    The weeklong funeral activities was dubbed ‘Celebration of life.’

    The climax was the fifth day, which turned out to be a well-choreographed display of pomp and royalty.

    Residents of Asaba were stunned and excited by the sight of a luxurious hearse headed to the Cathedral Church of St. Peter’s, Asaba, in a procession that had many bands, including the award winning Brass Band of Akwa Ibom State that entertained the crowd with classical Christian music.

    The procession traversed the main streets of Asaba from the Azinge family house in Umudaike quarters, enroute the church and was greeted intermittently with canon explosions of confetti (only seen in stadia in Europe during the finals of football competitions). Various age groups lined the street; the young and the old who came out to catch a glimpse of the carnival-like event that threw the community into a festive mood.

    The Azinges, their relations, in-laws, friends and well wishers, dressed in colourful and royal regalias, drove in a convoy of vehicles behind the hearse to the church. A red carpet was laid from the entrance of the church to the altar. Over 10 bishops and 20 priests were in attendance. The church was filled to capacity and more than 3000 people were present to pay their last respect. The church service was a spectacle as trumpeters, choirs and soloists held the audience spellbound with their renditions.

    The souvenirs distributed during the service captured the life and times of the Azinge matriarch

    Delta State Governor Dr. Emmanuel Uduaghan led members of his state exco, senators, politicians of diverse political leanings, professional colleagues, judges and civil servants to the funeral.

    After the interment, which followed the church service, guests re-convened at the ‘Eventy Centre’, Asaba for the reception.

    The centre had the trappings of a mega event. The hall was decorated in gold and white colours, food and exotic drinks flowed freely. Comedians and high profile musicians added colour to the event. Among those who paid tributes to the deceased were Dr Joe Nwodo; Jude Anisha; Dr. Valerie Azinge and Nkeolisaweta Azinge.

    Dr Nwodo described her as an exemplary mother.

    “Our pains, have been aggravated by the great vacuum created by Mama’s death. Her motherhood knew no boundaries. She gave motherly attention to her immediate family. At the same time, she was equally dedicated to her in-laws, relations and numerous friends and associations. This explains why her departure was like an earthshaking event,” he said.

    Dr Azinge said: “I got closer to Mama as she is fondly called, when I had the privilege of marrying her handsome and wonderful son, Epiphany. Epy, as he is fondly called, is the greatest gift that mama gave me, but he was not the only one. For 27 years, Mama enriched my life in incalculable ways. I modelled my life after her impeccable, patient and selfless manner.

    “Mama’s infectious, contagious and relentless joy pleased everyone whom she came in contact with. Her industrious and hardworking nature enabled her groom and support her family.”

    Anisha said: “Mama Asaba was a woman of integrity, firm and caring. She was generous and showed love to me even though she was not my biological mother.

    “She was always a happy woman; she wanted everyone that came around her to be happy. Mama was indeed selfless and worthy of emulation, she was ever ready to lend a helping hand to all and sundry.”

  • Diamonds are forever

    Diamonds are forever

    It was a time to thank God when Ohueze Chukwujinka Onueze Joe (OCJ) Okocha, former Nigerian Bar Association (NBA) president, turned 60 on July 29. He pulled dignitaries, including Rivers State Governor Rotimi Amaechi and Minister of State (Education) Nyesom Wike to the event held in Port Harcourt and his Rukpawurosi hometown. JOHN AUSTIN UNACHUKWU and ROSEMARY NWISI report.

    ONLY a man of his calibre could pull such a crowd to such a place. It is not Abuja; it is not Lagos, which many especially those in his class, consider as second home, if not home. It is Rukpakurosi. Did you say where is that? It is in Obio/Akpor Local Government Area of Rivers State and it is the hometown of Onueze Chukwujinka Joe (OCJ) Okocha, a former president of Nigerian Bar Association (NBA).

    OCJ as he is fondly called turned 60 on July 29, and he pulled a crowd to the celebration of this milestone both in Port Harcourt, the state capital and in his hometown. Rivers State Governor Rotimi Amaechi and his loyalists attended the Church service in Port Harcourt. Amaechi’s arch political foe Nyesom Wike, the Minister of State for Education; and his team were in Rukpakurosi for the reception. Rukpakurosi is in Obio/Akpor local government which Wike once chaired before he became Amaechi’s Chief of Staff and now a minister.

    Family members, relations, colleagues, politicians and well-wishers came to share the joy of the day with OCJ.

    The thanksgiving service was held at Emmanuel Anglican Church, Okoro-nu-Odo Deanery, in Port Harcourt.

    Amaechi led members of the state executive council, members of the state and National Assemblies, including Senator Magnus Abe, Dakuku Peterside, a member of the House of Representatives and others, to the service.

    The Administrator of Emmanuel Anglican Church, the Revd Canon Wisdom Ihunwo praised the celebrator for his gesture to the church and presented a Samsung double refrigerator to him.

    Revd Ihunwo noted that OCJ recognised and appreciates the goodness of God in his life and enjoined others to emulate him.

    “We are bound to worship and give praises to God. When you don’t want to believe that God did anything for you, you will believe you did everything by yourself,” he said.

    At OCJ’s expansive mansion, Oni’s Court in Rukpakurosi, guests were treated to nice time.

    The event enlivened the sleepy community.

    Before the construction of what is today known as Air Force/Eliozu roads and flyover bridges by the administration of Dr Peter Odili, the community was embedded in a thick forest, with no access road and little development.

    Strangers hardly resided there, except farmers and fishermen. But, today, Rukpakurosi community has become a hot spot that has caught the attention of residents and developers.

    Everywhere in Oni’s Court was filled with canopies.

    OCJ’s children Owhonda, Wobasi, Nneda, Akubueze and his wife, Ifeoma eulogised him.

    Everyone at the event also had one good thing or the other to say about the celebrator.

    Congratulating OCJ at the church service, Amaechi said: “I pray we get there because the way poverty is causing riot in Nigeria, I hear that life expectancy is 47 years for women and 45 years for men. So you must be lucky; we must thank God for getting you there. I just want to wish the great OCJ happy birthday, and to say that at 60 you must get very close to God now, because in life, I don’t know how true it is, but as a Christian I believe that all of us will give account of how we lived here on earth.”

    There were special treatment for guests; many were entertained in the celebrator’s sitting room. Assorted food and drinks, fruits, and ice-cream were served.

    Former Secretary, NBA Port Harcourt branch and Secretary of Eastern Bar Forum (EBF) Sosipreye Long-Williams said: “OCJ is our leader in the state. He was the 19th president of NBA, he is my mentor; he brought me into NBA politics and into law practice, we are very happy to be here as we lived to see this day. He is one of the best we have in the legal profession.”

    Chairman, NBA Port Harcourt Branch, Lawrence Oko-Jaja said: “OCJ is the leader of the Bar in the state. That is why we have all gathered here to celebrate him.

    “You can see the multitude of persons that have gathered here today is a testimony of how he has touched many lives.

    “We are happy for him, and we wish that God will grant him many more years so that he will continue to be useful to not only the legal profession and Rivers State, but to Nigeria as a whole.”

    A lawyer with Manuchim Chambers (OCJ’s law office), Bright Owoh, described OCJ as a wonderful person to work with.

    “Every one of us in Manuchim Chambers is happy today to join the people to cheer and congratulate our boss. I have been with him for six years, he is a disciplinarian. That is the first thing anyone that works with him should know and understand.

    “He is of the school of thought that discipline is key to success. And you must stay focused. These are the two key roads to success I have learnt from him and also see him live by them,” he said.

    The celebrator thanked guests for making the day a happy one for him.

    Okocha said: “What I am celebrating today is God’s kindness to me. I had health failure that was tending to stroke. God delivered me from it and many of you supported me, especially the governor who virtually under wrote the medical bill of the London hospital.

    “I thank God for Amaechi’s commissioners, they have been very supportive, they all say I am their senior brother but when I go to ask them to give me contract, they don’t give me. They will say no, you’re not a contractor, nobody will mess you up,” he said.

  • ‘She is my missing rib’

    ‘She is my missing rib’

    Former Nigerian Principal Representative to the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) for the Implementation of Early Warning from 2007-2012, Aminu Wisdom, gave out his daughter, Chioma Benedicta, a graduate of Accountancy, in marriage to a United States-based nurse, Clement Chijoke Onyia, in Lagos last Saturday.
    NNEKA NWANERI reports.

    OGUDU GRA in Lagos is a serene estate peopled by men of class. It is home to the rich and powerful. A stone throw from the popular Ojota Bus stop, Ogudu can also be easily connected through the Third Mainland Bridge, which is to its left. Last Saturday, the estate was agog when Nigeria’s former ambassador to the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) Aminu Wisdom gave out his daughter, Chioma Benedicta in marriage to a United States (US)-based nurse, Clement Chijioke Onyi.

    Getting to Ogudu that day was not easy because of the heavy traffic but friends and family members of the Wisdoms and Onyias endured it all.

    Politicians and business moguls were there in large numbers to witness the beginning of a new life between Chioma Benedicta and Clement Onyia.

    The estate shuttle drivers made brisk business ferrying some guests from the gates to the Recreation Centre, venue of the occasion.

    Officials of the Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC) and the Police camped around the venue. The FRSC men ensured that cars were properly parked on both sides of the road leading to the venue; the police concentrated on orderliness and decorum.

    Women in George wrappers of various colours and styles and men in their typical Edo and Igbo native attires added colour to the ceremony. The Edo and Igbo cultures were on display as it was a traditional marriage.

    There were about three traditional dance troupes, among which were the Atilogwu dancers from Enugu State. They entertained guests with their acrobatic dance steps and held the audience spell bound by climbing on one another.

    A stage was set like a typical village setting with stereotype mats, brooms and calabashes. The groom wore a senator attire. The bride was dressed in george wrappers and a shiny blouse to match. Before them, stood their two layered cake with a replica of beads and a jar of overflowing palm wine made of icing beside it. On it, were kolanuts. It looked more like a carving than a cake.

    After the cutting of the cake, the couple were presented with gifts to start their new home.

    On the band stand was the Suga Band. The band dished classic old songs mixed with contemporary music to satisfy the elederly and the young.

    The groom, Clement, a nurse in the United States, spoke to The Nation on how he met his wife and events that led their union.

    “I heard about her from a cousin I was staying in the US with. So during my visit to Nigeria in 2008, I went to pay her a visit and she attended to me at the gate. There, we met and started talking. Having found that we shared a lot in common, it was very easy to talk.

    “The spirit is right. The moment I saw her, I didn’t have any doubt that she is the one. Everything felt right. She indeed is my missing rib,” he said.

    Chioma, who is running her Masters in Business Administration (MBA) programme in Glasgow Caledonian University, United Kingdom, also reiterated what her beau said.

    “I met him here in my house. I suppose he heard about me and came to Nigeria and we met at the gate and started from there. We started our affair five years ago. We dated, broke up due to some communication breakdown, and got back together again. The challenge was due to communication break down so we rectified it, vowed to know ourselves better and here we are today,” Chioma said.

    In attendance were: former Minister for Works Senator Adeseye Ogunlewe; former Ekiti State Governor Ayo Fayose; chairman of AIT and Daar Communications Chief Raymond Dokpesi; Super Eagles Coach Stephen Keshi and his predecessor Shuaibu Amodu and widow of the late Deputy Inspector General of Police (DIG) John Haruna, Olayinka.

  • Sipping the ‘Queen’s wine’

    Members of the prestigious Lagos Lawn Tennis Club in Onikan, Lagos, were guests at a dinner organised by the House of TEO, the authorised distributor of Lanson Champagne in Nigeria. AMIDU ARIJE was there.

    Anyone who visited the Lagos Lawn Tennis Club (LLTC) that Friday would think it was the venue of the Wimbledon semi final clash between Andy Murray and Jerzy Janowics.

    Members were there in their numbers to watch game. Large screen televisions were hung at strategic places.

    There were mixed reactions at the beginning of the game when Janowics was leading. All exclaimed: “This guy will beat Murray”.

    But the tide turned when Murray kicked back shots from the distance to level with Janowics. Another mood set in. The hope of Murray winning the game was raised among the spectators. They cheered and applauded when Murray took the lead.

    The point that saw Murray through to the final left everyone happy and excited. “I know Janowics cannot beat Murray,” one of them exclaimed. ‘But Janowics played tough to defeat Murray; he tried,’ others said.

    The match was the hallmark of a dinner organised by the House of TEO, the authorised distributor of Lanson Champagne in Nigeria, for members and associates of the Lagos Lawn Tennis Club.

    Before the dinner started, the gathering paid keen attention to the game as they exchanged pleasantries.

    After the match, members converged on the hall.

    Some appeared in native attires, others in English. The CEO of House of TEO, Chief Tunde Onakoya was in shirt and a pair of trousers with a hat.

    The arrival of the club’s president, Mr Sam Egbuchunam, enlivened the gathering. He was dressed in a shirt and a pair of trousers, a hat and matching shoes.

    Once he settled down, the programme began with the opening prayer.

    Egbuchunam was invited called to make his speech.

    He described the club as the best in Nigeria. Egbuchunam said the colonial masters that created the club did it for business and leisure.

    “This place is a Vatican of a sort; I give kudos to the colonial masters for their sporting insight – leaving a place like this in the best location on Lagos Island; though they did not do it because they like us, they did it for their own convenience,” he said.

    When Onakoya came to the podium for his speech, all stood to applaud and cheer him in.

    He thanked them for their time and patronage. He recounted the story of Lagos Lawn Tennis Club and how his company has been promoting tennis.

    Onakoya said Lanson Champagne was the official drink of the Wimbledon.

    He described the day as eventful.

    “We are lucky the weather is clement; we enjoin you to feel relaxed and enjoy yourself. Lanson Champagne was established over 20 years ago,” he said.

    Onakoya said Lanson Champagne was the official drink of the Queen of England.

    “If you take Lanson Champagne you are drinking with the Queen,” he said.

    Giving reason for his company’s choice of the Lagos Lawn Tennis Club for the dinner, he said it was the best tennis club in the country.

    “It is our pleasure to be here; we have been here before and we will still be here. We could have been anywhere but we have been told that this is the best lawn tennis club in the country,” he said.

    Mr Demola Balogun, House of Teo media officer, said Lanson Champagne was a classic drink for all ages.

    He stressed that it is the champagne of the world’s number three sport – Lawn tennis.

    After his speech, all went for supper. It was a buffet. They ate to their heart’s content.

    The comedians on ground entertained them before they took to the dance floor till the light faded.

  • Interest Your Audience

    Last time, we started exploring the exciting world of entertaining speech. Entertaining speech is the least formal of the types of speeches we have. This, however, does not mean that it requires less work, or that it is less important. In places where entertaining speech is needed, any other type of speech may not be appropriate. Entertaining speech is one that the audience is supposed to listen to without any care in the world. Today, we shall be examining how you can make your speeches entertaining.

    I watched a programme on TV recently; a comedian was trying so hard to make the audience laugh. Each time the camera showed the audience, I saw faces of people who were getting ready to laugh. There was this anticipation on their faces, as though they were waiting for the funny part of the gist. Unfortunately, by the time the comedian was done and he left the stage, the people were still waiting to laugh. You have to understand something very important about entertaining speeches; they place a great responsibility on the speaker. If you speak to your audience without any intention of being funny, you may see them laughing so hard that you wonder when you became a comedian! But if you make the “mistake” of showing to them that you are trying to make them laugh, you had better be real good! The difference between the two scenarios is that in the former, you never made any claim, so, your listeners are not critical of you; you kind of catch them off guard. In the latter, however, you have directly or indirectly claimed to be funny, and they want you to prove it; so, they don’t laugh easy. If you have proved overtime to be funny, however, the mere sight of you may throw people into a fit of laughter. Now, let’s consider some things you need to do to make your speech entertaining.

    •Don’t make obvious effort: try as much as possible not to make obvious effort to make your audience laugh. If you watch very funny and entertaining people closely, you will discover that one of your attractions to them is their “carefree” attitude towards what they are saying. They seem so casual that they may not even laugh at what they are saying while others are tumbling over with laughter. Sometimes, laughing at your own jokes can be in bad taste; let your audience do the laughing. If, for instance, you are asked to address some business partners at a luncheon organized by your company, you have to be entertaining and still be dignified. As much as you don’t want to give a serious speech, you still should joke about things that are related to your shared interests. Everyone knows you are not a comedian, so, they don’t expect you to be extremely funny, but you should be able to interest them while keeping your business dignity in mind.

    •Focus on the human angle of any story: what exactly is funny and what is not? Well, that depends on three things; the subject, the speaker and the audience. One thing is sure, however, no matter who is listening, and no matter what the subject is, focusing on human limitations or extremities will most likely elicit laughter. Imagine that you are invited to address some college students during their graduation party, one way to easily make them enjoy themselves (while still learning something) is to create funny scenarios of extremely lazy students and extremely studious students. As you joke about their habits, you may start to hear the students calling out the names of some of their friends they feel belong to one category or the other. When this happens, you will find them laughing because they can relate to what you are saying.

    •You can create humour out of your personal experiences: more often than not, this technique works. Your listeners want to laugh at someone, but not at themselves; so, they are ready to laugh at you as you relate your funny or strange experiences. Imagine being asked to talk to a group of young entrepreneurs about your success in business during a special dinner organized in your honour; a nice and entertaining topic may be “My Experimental years!” In the speech, you may humour your small beginning, your desperation, your failed attempts at starting different businesses, the mistakes you made and how you finally succeeded. Not only will this type of speech entertain your listeners, it will also enlighten and motivate them.

    •You can focus on shared experiences: another way to interest your audience is to humour experiences that are common to everybody. For instance, you may entertain your colleagues at a staff get-together by sharing funny experiences of some incidences at work. You may joke about a time you were locked in the office’s washroom and you feared not being discovered till the next day because you left your phone on your desk. Everyone who knew of the event, or who had similar experience due to the faulty door would laugh with you. The watch word here is that you should avoid making jokes at the expense of others. Remember that you are trying to entertain and not to offend.

    There are several other ways to entertain your audience. But like I strongly believe, one of the best ways to learn is to watch people present. Understudy anyone you find interesting and you will discover several ways to interest your audience.