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Category: Family forum

  • Success secrets for a fulfilled marriage (5)

    Dear Reader, I welcome you to this exciting moment in God’s presence!  All through this month, I have been exposing you to some of the vital secrets in maintaining the atmosphere of love, joy and peace in your home. I believe a lot have changed in your marriage since the beginning of this series. In this concluding week, I will be going further to teach on the spices for intimacy in marriage.

    Building intimacy in the home is one sure way to sustain love between couples. Intimacy means togetherness and the closer you are to your spouse, the fonder you become.  You must have read other articles on intimacy and ways to strengthen this bond, but I will love to show you some other aspects that are easily ignored, but equally very important. These includes:

    Exchanging of Surprise Gifts

    My precious husband says you cannot love without giving. Giving is a way of expressing love. Similarly, it is a way of brightening up the atmosphere at home when it is dull. My husband uses this habit to keep the home lively. I remember one day at home, the atmosphere seemed dull and I felt gloomy. My husband sensed this before he left home. He came back home with a little gift, something very small yet it reassured me that someone cares and loves me. This act stimulated me, and there was a new glow at home. As small as it was, I kept this gift in my room till today.

    So, it is not good enough to say you don’t know what your husband likes or what your wife or children need. It is not the volume, but the expression of your care that really counts. The element of surprises, which the gift stirs up, is enough to cause another honeymoon.  It is not the amount of money spent that matters, but the kind thought behind it.

    Share Important Dates Together

    Celebrating important dates together creates excitement and brightens up your home. When speaking of important dates like Christmas and New Year, you should understand however that in a family, we are talking not just of Christmas and New Year. Birthday, anniversaries and so on can be observed, even if the one celebrating it has forgotten. If you give him or her surprise, it will create a well of joy, respect, honour and love.

    Jesus gave us an example to follow when the day of Passover came. When He was about to be crucified, He called His disciples, the closest people to Him, and had a memorable supper with them. The Bible says: …And they made ready the Passover … And he said unto them, with desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you… (Luke 22:13, 15). After supper He then said …This do in remembrance of me…

    The Israelites, too, had this habit of remembering events, especially those special things the Lord did for them, like their deliverance from Egypt. It is one of the things that have kept them together as a nation and people today. You, too, as a Christian can remember the things God has done in your life as an individual and family. You mark such dates as times of celebration of God’s faithfulness in your life and family. However, don’t borrow to celebrate. You celebrate in love and joy, which are much more priceless.

    Doing Things Together

    This is another spice that adds glamour to your marital life.  Jesus said: My Father works hitherto and I work also (John 5:17). The Lord was involved in His Father’s business. They worked together. It showed the Son’s interest in the Father’s business. This speaks of togetherness. Doing things together eradicates every dull moment in your home.

    So, make it a point of duty this month to surprise and appreciate your spouse and family members with surprise gifts. Also, make out time to be together to celebrate the Lord’s goodness in your family life. You will never regret marrying your spouse. Your marriage shall not break in Jesus’ name!

    Give Room to Praise

    Another way of spicing up intimacy in your marriage is by locating the good qualities in your spouse and children, and to praise them for it; rather than focusing on their areas of weakness and mistakes. Praise is the master key to an enviable Christian living, and that is the missing ingredient in most Christian homes.

    I remember the story of a woman who went to a Counsellor and said, “My husband is very bad; I want to leave him.” The Counsellor drew a circle and said “Put a dot in the circle for every fault your spouse has committed.” The woman started putting dots in the circle for as many offences as she could remember – “He insulted me; he didn’t give me money, …” She rapped on until she could remember no more. The Counsellor then said, “Madam, the undotted space in the circle is still larger than the dotted part. That means your husband is not as bad as you want me to believe.” The woman was advised to go home and put things right with her husband. So, no matter what might have happened in the past, there must still be some good qualities in your spouse. Focus on those positive points, and the bad ones will soon fade away.

    Also, as a family, find time to praise God together, that will fill your home with God’s presence. Wherever God is, there is fullness of joy and pleasures forever more. No wonder God’s Word says: Thou wilt show me the path of life; In thine presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for ever more (Psalm 16:11).

    If you are not born again, it will be impossible for you to benefit from what has just been discussed. You become born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus Christ as the Lord and Saviour of your life. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer in faith:Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

  • Healthy responses and behaviour: Manners in public service

    Nigerians are indeed comical in many respects and when it comes to corruption, hilarious. Recently, it was claimed that a snake swallowed N36m from a public office.  That was still in the air when a politician claimed monkeys carried away some N70m of public money under his care.  It is a jungle out there and animals have all become avaricious or have humans become animals?

    In considering manners, we regard humans as a family of neighbours.  And who is my neighbour? This is a big question and perhaps one of the biggest questions for any society and indeed for all humanity.  It is a question that is too big for hypothesis and theory and research and investigation and reasoning and intelligence and law, but not bigger than the human heart.  Jesus Christ was asked this question and in all his wisdom, he did not answer it with a sentence, he told a parable.

    Who is my neighbour? This question can never be answered enough in a lifetime, not practically.  However, it is a question that leads to a healthy society. This is because the neighbour is the person that is always near us, the person we pass by and never see again, the person we share resources with, the person we serve, the person we provide for, the person we relate to, the person that depends on us to do the right thing at the right time in the right place in the right way, the person that depends on us to get things right.

    The public servant is a powerful person.  The public servant has the power to add good or evil to people’s lives.  Some good or some bad passes through the public servant unto others.  The public servant meets people directly, indirectly, in real life, or on paper and determines what happens to those persons, what they get and what they do not get, what they can enjoy and what they will not enjoy,  whether the persons know it or not.  Public servants determine availability and quality of feeding, housing, and transportation for a society; provide services, goods, and utilities; develop infrastructure; provide means and standards for educational and healthcare facilities; direct the economy; protect freedoms, rights, security, privacy, and dignity of all members of a society, etc.

    When public service turns from serving the neighbour to serving oneself, humans become like animals and – it’s a jungle out there, the survival and the thriving of the fittest or the greediest, or the opportunist, or the audacious, and the progress of civilization and development becomes confused and slow while threat and insecurity heighten.  Mental conditions abound and like the lion and the fox, humans rely on pure evil to feed and survive.

    Beyond the well lamented “corruption of greed” and the well tolerated “corruption of need”, there is that question: who is my neighbour?  There are no neighbours in a jungle.  Neighbours exist in civilized society.  The more we diminish the neighbour, the more like jungle we become.

    Public servants that use public service to enrich themselves, depriving the public of benefits, really insult their constituencies. It is bad manners and a betrayal of trust.  Public service or the lack of  public service that induces or causes frustration, deprivation, discomfort, disappointment, anger, poverty, misery, threat, fear, insecurity, rancour, hatred, rebellion, crime, or other negativities really needs to face this question: who is my neighbour?

    At present, the parable of the Good Nigerian is not ready for telling.  Someday, a new generation may rise up and with a better understanding of the neighbour and of public service, a generation that is mentally, spiritually, and physically prone to peace, fairness, and progress.  Various aspects of people’s lives: bodily health and capacity for work, mental well-being and fitness, personal fulfilment, etc., are related to the kind of public service they receive. Those who are parents and teachers, irrespective of their own personal mistakes, have a duty to sensitize their wards to manners in public service.

    Dr. Theresa Adebola John is a lecturer at Lagos State University College of Medicine (LASUCOM) and an affiliated researcher at the College of Medicine, University of Tennessee, Memphis. For any comments or questions on this column, please email bolajohnwritings@yahoo.com or call 08160944635

  • Success secrets for a fulfilled marriage (1)

    Dear Reader, welcome to this great month. Do you know it is possible to smile with a sense of fulfilment, during your sixtieth wedding anniversary because you know you have gotten it right in marriage? Your marriage can be steady and strong. It can be an example for others to follow, if you know the secret of making it work. Marriage can be likened to gold and like most precious ornaments, one must invest time and resources to secure it and fashion it into a jewel of inestimable value. Today, many in the family of God have found the key to a fulfilled marital life; you too can join the league by applying God’s principle of marriage. That is why, this month, I will be sharing with you some Success Secrets for a Fulfilled Marriage.

    To derive joy in marriage, you must accept that you are the major player in your home; hence, you must strive to be diligent and work at it. The Bible says: By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through (Ecclesiastes 10:18). There is no prize for the slothful! Part of the diligent work required in marriage involves taking particular care of some specifics that serves as “grease” to a blissful home. Just as grease is to an engine or a nut, there are some seemingly little things that lubricate the home, thereby creating an environment of love, peace and joy. However, these things maybe very minor yet are mostly ignored. For instance, the words: “I’m sorry”, “Thank you” and “I love you” are very short and simple words, but are powerful in our everyday life and they must not be forgotten. Instead, they must be said every time they are needed. Forgetting these simple and very important words can cause a lot of disorder in your relationship.

    Also, you must learn to say “Sorry” every time you make a mistake and “Thank you” for simple things done for you by your spouse. The best words that must be said every day is “I love you”. These words when often used at home, could make the relationship grow stronger and deeper. To further understand success secrets for a fulfilled marriage, this week, I will be looking at the word, “I’m sorry.”

    “I’m sorry” are two short words that can make big improvements in any marriage.  By these short powerful words, our marriages and homes will be more pleasant and peaceful. Offences are bound to occur between a man and his wife, but it is not wise for any partner to just overlook things whenever one is hurt by the other person. Always admit when you make mistakes. The Bible says: For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again… (Proverbs 24:16). We understand that because we are human, we might offend one another from time to time. However, the moment the husband or wife, sincerely say the words, “I’m sorry,” it brings healing and begins to soothe the emotional wounds.

    The word “I’m sorry” is a powerful healing balm that can be placed over hurt and wounded feelings. It works like fire! So, don’t be hesitant or too proud to ask for forgiveness from your spouse or family members any time you are wrong. The Bible says, if you humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, He will lift you (1 Peter 5:6).

    Some people find it difficult to apologise to their wives, children or family members whom they had offended. God’s Word says: He that covereth his sins shall not prosper; but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy (Proverbs 28:13).

    Whenever you go wrong, admit it to the person and refuse to do it again, then God’s mercy and favour will be made available to you. It is pride that brought the devil from such a high place with God to the lowest pit of hell. Remember, pride goes before a fall, so don’t let pride make you refuse to apologise any time you are wrong. Failure to admit your mistakes before your spouse is an obstacle to intimacy in marriage. You must cultivate the habit of apologising from your heart when you are wrong. Say, “I’m sorry”, and mean it. When apologising, you should avoid the word “but” because it can kill your apology. To your spouse’s ears, “I’m sorry but…” translates to “I’m not really sorry, and I am just saying I’m sorry for the sake of saying it.”  Stop shifting blames; accept your fault each time you are wrong!

    God has given you this vital secret to create an atmosphere of peace in your home, go forth and enjoy it, in Jesus’ name! If you are not born again, you are not entitled to the peaceful married life God has reserved for His children. However, God’s grace of salvation is extended to you right now. You become born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus Christ as the Lord and Saviour of your life. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God’s ultimate desire for your family (4)

    Dear Reader, since the month began, we have looked at God’s desire for your family, which includes purity, favour, abundance and better living. They all require that you take responsibility to actualise them. Taking responsibility means that there is always something to do to attain your desired result. Responsibility is the price for greatness. Therefore, it is very important as a man or woman in marriage to accept and perform your marital responsibility. Nothing works on its own.  You have to work out your marriage to make it a fulfilled one.

    But what are your Responsibilities?

    Husband:

    Your primary responsibility is to love, care for and generally see to the welfare of your family.  A great burden is placed on the man to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and he is not exempted from this responsibility, even if his wife is not submissive or is unsaved. This responsibility can be accomplished only through sacrifices, being a godly example and through an unconditional devotion, commitment and dedication to his marriage.

    It is very important for you to know that your wife is your chief priority, second only to God.    As a man, you are the head of the household and you bear the responsibility for the entire family unit.  Your leadership position as head of the home places a great responsibility on you to protect, care for and seek the general well-being of your family spiritually, physically, and emotionally.  This must be seen in action and not in mere words. You can tell your wife all day long that you love her, but until you show her that love, your words will do little to strengthen your relationship.            As a husband, you need to encourage the spiritual development of your family, as Christ encouraged the spiritual development of His disciples. You must be prepared to lay down your life for your wife and every member of your family, if necessary. This includes giving up selfish hobbies and habits which take you away from your family or drain the needed resources from the family budget. For the spiritual development of the family, it is also required that as a husband, you lead your household in the study of God’s Word and in regular family devotions. You are to take the lead particularly by example, in the worship of God. In addition, you cannot direct the affairs of your family without first having daily fellowship with the Lord in prayers and the study of the Bible.

    Another fundamental responsibility of the husband is to honour his wife (I Peter 3:7). This, perhaps, is even a higher level of responsibility than just providing for her physical needs. Respect, they say, is reciprocal. If a man must enjoy respect from his wife, then he must be willing first to invest in it. He must respect, admire, appreciate, praise and exalt her.

    Wife:

    The woman’s primary responsibility, after the Lord, is to her husband and her children. The woman received the title of “help meet” in Genesis 2, which clearly established her role in the family as a kind of support to her husband. The Bible specifically demands of the woman, submission in all things. A man of wisdom, David Lipscomb, wrote, “The submission of the wife to the husband is that of love, respect and reverence, which is befitting the relation she holds to her husband.  In her sphere she is spiritually on equality with man, but as a husband, he is the natural scripturally recognised head and leader of the family.  Her submission must be in accordance with the principles of righteousness and nothing is required of her inconsistent with Christian character”.

    The idea of submission is a stumbling block to many women, because they equate submission with inferiority. Men and women are created co-equal by God, but for the purpose of His plan of redemption, God has assigned to each of them differing roles to carry out. God has clearly called the wife to submit to her own husband. That is God’s design ordained for her blessings.  The Bible says: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing (Ephesians 5:22-24).

    The matter of submission is clearly indicated in the above scripture. The wife is to submit to her husband. The manner of submission is as unto the Lord and the motive is God’s design to make the husband the head of the wife.

    Just as the body submits to the brain located in the head by design, so the wife should submit to the husband who is the head. When you see a body that does not respond to the head, you see a deformity, you see something that is not normal.  You see a dysfunctional person. The same is true in a marriage. Where a wife does not submit to her husband, there is distortion, deformity and dysfunction. God has designed that the body respond to the head and the husband is the head of the wife.

    The power to fulfil your marital responsibility only comes from God.  If you desire this power, you need to surrender your life to Christ, if you are not born again. To do this, you can say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God’s ultimate desire for your family (2)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to the second series of this teaching. May the almighty God enrich you as you pay attention to His Word in Jesus’ name! I told you last week that God’s glorious desire for your marriage rides on the foundation of your purity. Keeping the marriage bed undefiled paves the way for a fulfilling marital experience, void of guilt and shame. Today, I will be looking at Divine favour, as God’s ultimate desire for you.

    A fulfilling marriage is a function of God’s favour.  Once your marriage is fashioned according to God’s Word, you procure His favour, which is often irreversible. The Bible says: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). God’s favour upon a man is what distinguishes him from others. Even men are compelled to favour whoever incurs the favour of God. This favour comes when your ways, including your marriage pleases God. The Bible says: When a man’s ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him (Proverbs 16:7).

    When you secure God’s favour, you progress and succeed effortlessly in life. Success in life and marriage is not a function of your smartness or connections, but a function of God’s favour, because the Bible says: The Lord maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up. He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and he hath set the world upon them(1 Samuel 2:7-8).

    The favour of God elevates you to greater heights that qualify you to be envied by men. When you walk hand-in-hand with your spouse, people see the glory of God upon you; which brings honour and opening of great doors of opportunities. Singles will desire your type of marriage, because of the good hand of the Lord upon your marriage. God’s favour also secures for you liftings and promotions, which also affect your financial and material prosperity.

    God created marriage to give man an easy access to His favour, so that he can live a sweatless life. This shall be your portion, in Jesus’ Name!

    Marriage generally gives you a sense of accomplishment. It is your passage from one phase of life to another; it is a step towards your desired glorious future. Every young man or woman has a dream or vision of the kind of home he or she would like to have. No one envisions troubles or divorce for him or herself. Everyone dreams of a joyful, peaceful and fruitful home. God created marriage for the fulfilment of these dreams and aspirations. You will not be disappointed in Jesus’ Name!

    One of the blessings that God’s favour secures for you is abundance. The first family that ever existed was born into abundance. The Bible says: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat (Genesis 1:28-29).

    Abundance talks of surplus, prosperity, plenty, increase etc. The Lord’s desire for your home is abundance. Prosperity is meant to be your portion not only in your office, Church, or with friends, but most especially in your home.

    God has said concerning your home that it shall be: … a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not (Isaiah 58:11). This means you will not be short of provisions at home both spiritually and physically. It is written: And thou shalt have goats’ milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens (Proverbs 27:27). God has not changed His mind concerning you. He wants your home not only to reflect increase, blessing and joy but to reflect holiness, righteousness, grace and peace.  Both sides of the coin are necessary; you can’t have one side without the other. You can’t desire the Lord’s prosperity and increase in your home and reject His holiness and righteousness.

    Abraham, the father of faith, enjoyed abundance and: …was VERY RICH in cattle, in silver and in gold (Genesis 13:2 Emphasis mine). But how did the Lord bless Abraham?  Did he just wake up one day and saw riches, cattle, men and maid servants, etc.?  No!  The Lord was able to bless Abraham and his household because he fulfilled a major requirement (Genesis 18:17-19).

    The Lord’s will and desire is to see you and your household swim in abundance but are you willing to fulfil the requirements? God can’t afford to bless some men financially because they just use the money to acquire more wives and begin to do things that cause their household to turn from God. It was Abraham’s diligence in commanding his children (household) in God’s ways that secured abundance for him and generations after. He was not only an example of what the Lord required. God was able to say, “I know him.  He will make sure everyone follows his example. In your home, can you boldly say others can follow your lifestyle?  Can they look at how you live and see God’s glory, holiness and commendation?  If you can’t answer this questions positively then something is wrong somewhere. You need to follow the instructions you have heard God speak concerning your home, family, marriage, parents before you can see His promises come to pass in your life.  For almost every instruction God gives, there is a reward because for almost every reward or promise of God there is a responsibility.

    Abundance in your family is God’s desire for you.  However, it must be accompanied by a God-fearing lifestyle for not only you but your family. The first step to abundance is God’s presence in your heart and home. Make this your decision today by saying this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Family dominion, how possible (2)

    Dear Reader,

    Last week, I taught on how seeking revelation and being positive will help you exercise family dominion.

    However, this week, I will be examining Unity in the Family. The Bible says: …how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! (Psalm 133:1). Doubtlessly, unity in the family fosters dominion. When you are united as a family, your dominion is unquestionable and visible.

    Genesis 11:6 says: …Behold, the people is one… and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. This shows the strength in unity! Thus, to exercise dominion in your family, ensure there is unity in all that you set out to do. As the head of the family, there should be transparency to enable the members of your family know where you are leading them to. This makes it easy for them to follow and brings about the much needed unity that culminates in dominion.

    It is quite unfortunate that even Christians, worshipping in the same church have challenges in their relationship with one another. The responsibility of living peaceably is not only on one person but on all members of the family. Ensure that peace reigns among you. Parents, teach your children how to live peacefully among one another; this should also extend to your in-laws.

    Scripturally, envy and strife are not only sinful; they also bring evil in the family (James 3:16). Hence, the need to live peacefully with all people.

    The Bible says: Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled (Hebrews 12:14-15).

    From the above scripture, if you do not live peaceably with those around you, three things are bound to happen:

    The Grace of God will elude you

    What is Grace? Grace is unmerited favour. It is something you receive without working for. God is the sole Custodian of grace and He says it will elude whoever will not obey His commandment. Anyone living in hatred, bitterness, malice, etc., has fallen short of the grace of God. Your family shall not fall short of the favour of God that makes for dominion!

    Until you learn the act of living peaceably with others, the grace of God upon your life will not find fulfilment. Avoid anger, hatred and strife because they are little foxes that spoil the vine and frustrate the grace of God upon an individual’s life.

    You will live in bitterness

    When you are not living at peace with someone, bitterness automatically sets in and continues to build up in your heart towards that person. Bear in mind that you cannot find God where there is bitterness because God is love. Just like light cannot dwell with darkness; so also God cannot manifest His power where there is hatred. It doesn’t matter whether the person is a Christian or not, as long as you are bitter against anyone your prayers are hindered.

    You get defiled

    If you don’t live at peace with one another, you get spiritually, physically and mentally defiled. Your thought pattern towards that individual changes negatively and you forget all the good things they have ever done for you.

    When you live peaceably with people and forgive them for any wrong done, you benefit greatly from it. Let the lifestyle of Christ reflect in your family, neighbourhood, career, business and everywhere you find yourself. Let people identify you with Christ (Matthew 5:16).

    To effectively live peacefully with your family members and others, learn instant forgiveness. Also, be ready to ask for forgiveness when you are wrong. Make sure you effectively communicate with one another to avoid misconception. Let the Word of God be your guide and always pray in the Spirit.

    If you need the Prince of Peace to manifest peace in your family, you can embrace Him by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you are set to do that, say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord, I come to you today.  I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins.  Cleanse me with your precious Blood.  I accept you as my Lord and Saviour.  Now I know I am born again!

    Congratulations, you are now born again! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org or 08141320204, 07026385437.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Embrace wisdom in your home (3)

    Embrace wisdom in your home (3)

    Dear Reader,

    One of my greatest joys would come when your home, life, marriage and relationship with God experiences a quantum leap. The truth is: these teachings are ordained to produce positive all-round results for you. Last week, I focused on how you can walk in wisdom in your home as a man. Today, I will be focusing on the women.

    Wisdom, as you have learnt so far, is hearing the sayings of our Lord Jesus Christ and doing them. It is the correct application of knowledge. It demands that you take steps in applying correctly the knowledge God is bringing your way today via this teaching. Only then, will you begin to reap the fruits of a successful home. The Bible says: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24).

    Wisdom is the principal thing on which all other aspects of life rest. A home is meant to be built for it to be successful. The Bible says: Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3). Therefore, to build a successful home, wisdom is required.

    It is very important to know that every woman, according to God’s own design, has a home and whatever becomes of that home depends on the woman. The wise woman will always  engage all to make her home a delightsome place. The Word of God says: Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1). Do not operate in foolishness. Do not pluck down your home with your own hands; rather, operate in the wisdom of God. Abide with God’s instructions, they are not grievous. Even if you happen to be married to a man whose level of understanding is lower than yours, remember Abigail. Through her wisdom and understanding, she saved her home even though she had a foolish husband. The Bible says: Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb (1 Samuel 25:3).

    Identify your husband’s weaknesses, and help him to work on them. Learn to appreciate his strengths and point out his errors in love. This is God’s wisdom! Embrace it! If you abide by God’s instruction, it will make your home precious before God and before men. Read carefully the testimony of a sister who wisely applied God’s Word as she was taught and obtained a positive result.

    “I’ve been married for over 12 years now and what I’m enjoying now, I’ve never enjoyed since I got married. Our mother in the Lord preached and laid emphasis on wives being submissive to their husbands in everything, just like the church submits to Christ. She also said we were to be submissive in everything. I didn’t realise that I wasn’t totally submissive. I wept so much in church that day and went to the Lord saying, ‘Lord, from this day, I know that obedience is the key.’ And ever since, I’ve been enjoying what all my fasting and binding couldn’t deliver to me. I had done so many things to get my husband to love me—fasted, bound, loose—but I thank God that now it’s like I’m wedded anew. Not quite long, to confirm God’s faithfulness in my home, my husband gave me a cheque of one hundred thousand naira, which I have cashed. I now enjoy peace, love and harmony. The Lord has turned around the tides, just through my obedience to the Word. Praise God!”

    When you embrace God’s wisdom, your home begins to shine as gold. People cannot help but be attracted to you, just as the glitter of gold attracts people. The Bible says: Who is as the wise man? and who knoweth the interpretation of a thing? A man’s wisdom maketh his face to shine (Ecclesiastes 8:1). I see you shinning more and more in your family life and in all your endeavours in Jesus’ name!

    Applying God’s wisdom in your marriage as stated in His Word helps you to know how to speak positive and edifying words to your spouse and relate with your in-laws in genuine love. Wisdom is therefore, the principal thing in marriage. A wise woman will always know when and where to present matters before her husband. There is a due season for every word, you don’t just open your mouth any how to speak to your husband, you must locate a proper time. As it is written: She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness (Proverbs 31:26).

    However, you must understand that the wisdom that builds a home can only come by surrendering your life to Christ. If you are reading this article and you are not born again, you need to do so today.  You should say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Embrace wisdom in your home (2)

    Embrace wisdom in your home (2)

    Dear Reader,

    Last week, I took you through the various kinds of wisdom and how you can connect yourself to the wisdom of God. This week, we will be exploring how you can apply God’s wisdom in your home, family and marriage.

    A recap from last week defines wisdom as knowing the scriptural way to go, the scriptural steps to take and the scriptural things to do. However, you may ask how then do I apply myself to this scriptural wisdom? Wisdom is hearing the sayings of God and doing them. It is the correct application of knowledge. It demands that you take steps in applying correctly all you will learn of God this month concerning your home. Only then, will you begin to reap the fruits of a successful home. The Bible says: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24).

    The place of wisdom in building a successful home cannot be over-emphasized. The Bible says: Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding (Proverbs 4:7).

    As a husband, the Bible instructs that you dwell with your wife according to knowledge. I like the way Amplified version of the Bible puts it. It says: In the same way you married men should live considerately with (your wives), with an intelligent recognition (of the marriage relation), honouring the woman (as physically) the weaker, but (realizing that you) are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favour of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off.  (Otherwise you cannot pray effectively)  I Peter 3:7.

    Men, when you understand the nature of your wife and walk according to that understanding, quarrels and tension are eradicated from your home. When you are knowledgeable about your wife, you will not put undue pressure on her because you will realise that she is not a robot. She is your wife, a mother and homemaker all together, and these roles place a demand on her. You must be considerate of her feelings and needs, and be available to attend to those needs.

    From the above scripture, the second clause says, “giving honour unto the wife…” This implies that your wife is not to be treated as a slave or inferior, but you are to treat her with respect. Your wife should be sought and allowed to make her own contributions in the home no matter how little it may be.

    Some men beat their wives as if they are beating a child; that’s foolishness. When a man beats his wife, he is not walking in God’s wisdom, rather he exhibits folly. The Bible says: Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him (Proverbs 26:4). No matter how provoked you are, you must never beat your wife. If you do that, you are simply beating yourself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church (Ephesians 5:29).

    It is important to note that, beating your wife is a great sin against God. God hates it when any party deals treacherously/ deceptively in marriage. One of the common ways to deal treacherously with your spouse is when you engage in physical combat.

    If you notice a fault in your spouse, do not turn it into a fight, malice, or engage in a cold war. Do not give room to strife, envy or begin to discuss and report your spouse to relations, the house help or friends who don’t know God at all.

    My advice to the unmarried is that after all the ceremonies on your wedding day, go before the Lord and say: God this home is dedicated unto You; there is no situation or circumstance that will ever come our way that we cannot handle with You on our side. That was what my husband and I did, as soon as we got into the house we both knelt down, held our hands together and prayed ‘Father we don’t know how to do it, but we hand over this home to You and as long as we live in here there shall be no situation that cannot be under control in the name of Jesus! I am glad to say that years have rolled by and God has stayed faithful to that prayer. If you are married, you can also pray that prayer and rededicate your family unto God. If you can pray that prayer in sincerity, no one next door would hear you quarrel with your spouse again in Jesus name!

    As a man, to possess the mind of Christ in managing your home, you need the wisdom of God. The first step to accessing this wisdom is by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour. You can do this by saying this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Embrace wisdom in your home (1)

    Embrace wisdom in your home (1)

    Dear Reader,

    God’s wisdom is the principal tool for exploits and relevance in the school of life. Without the wisdom of God in a man’s life, fulfilment of destiny is at stake. God’s wisdom bailed Joseph out of eternal imprisonment and also brought Daniel out of the slaughter house to the throne of life. The Bible contains various examples of people that have obtained good report by the operation of divine wisdom in their lives.

    The truth is: There is a wisdom solution to every issue you are confronted with in life.  As you go through the teaching series for this month, may you connect to God’s wisdom that will announce you to your world in Jesus’ name!

    What then is Wisdom?

    Wisdom is the correct application of knowledge. Webster’s dictionary definition of wisdom is:  True religion; godliness; piety; the knowledge and fear of God, sincere and uniform obedience to His commands.

    From Scriptural perspective, wisdom is: Knowing the scriptural way to go, the scriptural steps to take and the scriptural things to do. Also, it is knowing the spiritual way to go, the spiritual steps to take and the spiritual things to do. In other words, wisdom is the application of Biblical knowledge to everyday life.

    Kinds of Wisdom

    • WORLDLY WISDOM: This is the accumulation of man’s tricks to preserve himself (without God). This kind of wisdom centres on natural senses. It is intellectual, i.e. book knowledge and could include all technological, scientific and intellectual efforts.
    • HEAVENLY WISDOM: This is God’s kind of wisdom; it is from above. The Bible says: But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy (James 3:17).

    Heavenly wisdom is the work of the Holy Spirit revealed through the Word of God.

    Also, it produces the fruit of the Spirit as seen in Galatians 5:22.

    • DEVILISH WISDOM: This is the type of wisdom that operates in the occultic realm. As it is written: This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish (James 3:15).

    But, How Do You Connect to God’s Wisdom?

    New Birth:

    Every encounter with God’s Wisdom starts with a relationship with Him; the only wise God. The Bible says: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding (Proverbs 9:10). Without salvation, you do not have access to God’s kind of wisdom and can only operate in earthly wisdom and common sense.  So, to operate with the wisdom of God, you need to be born again. You need to have the mind of Christ and this can only come by surrendering your life to Christ. The Bible says: For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

    Prayer:

    To have access to God’s wisdom, you also need to ask Him in prayer. God is ever ready to give His wisdom to those who ask Him in faith. It is written: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed (James 1:5-6).

    Soul Winning:

    To acquire God’s wisdom, you need to attend to the heart beat of God which is soul winning. You need to tell others about the love of Christ. There are thousands of souls out there that have not experienced salvation. However, soul winning is a commandment from God. So, as you obey God’s commandment, wisdom is then released to you. As it is written: And they that be wise shall shine as the brightness of the firmament; and they that turn many to righteousness as the stars for ever and ever (Daniel 12:3). The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise (Proverbs 11:30).

    Knowledge:

    The devil plays on the ignorance of men, making them suffer for what they are not aware of. That shall not be your portion in Jesus’ name! What you need is the knowledge of God. Today, so many people are in a fix because they do not have what it takes to come out of their challenges. The Word of God says: My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge (Hosea 4:6). Seek for knowledge over the bugging issues confronting you by reading books, listening to anointed messages from God’s anointed vessels. The Bible says: A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength (Proverbs 24:5).

    Right Company:

    The company you keep determines the level of wisdom you can operate in and your level of wisdom is what determines your worth in life. They say, show me your friend and I will tell you who you are and the Bible says: He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed (Proverbs 13:20).

    Every encounter with God’s wisdom starts with a relationship with God, the only wise God. The Word of God says: The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding (Proverbs 9:10). Without salvation, you don’t have access to the Wisdom of God which only comes by surrendering your life to Christ. However, you can say this prayer and be born again: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Maintaining purity in courtship (2)

    Dear Reader,

    Last week, I started this teaching on how to maintain purity in courtship by showing you the purpose of courtship. However, this week I shall continue with that teaching.

    Some Christians begin in the Spirit and end up in the flesh. The Word of God lists all the various works of the flesh: Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21).

    Some begin quite well in the Spirit, but mess up half way by engaging themselves in the works of the flesh. All categories of uncleanness are referred to as the works of the flesh. Since courtship is not marriage, you have no marriage rights over the other until marriage is contracted. The Bible says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). Marriage is an honourable thing when the bed is undefiled. Once the bed is defiled, that marriage has lost its honour. What you do with the bed during courtship amounts to laying a foundation for what your marriage will be like when you get into it. The law of sowing and reaping still holds here. The Bible says: Whilst the earth remaineth, seed time and harvest shall not cease… (Genesis 8:22). Since the earth is still remaining, whatever a man sows, he will reap. When the bed is defiled, the seed is sown and you can be sure that it will produce and when harvest time comes, it will manifest.

    Discuss your visions and goals together

    In other not to engage in the works of the flesh, this is the time to discuss about your visions and goals together. This is a very important point to note. Goals and plans for the future ought to be made clear to each other. Marriage is for help, not hurt. It is a decision made by you to help the other party fulfill his or her goals and vision in life and vice versa.

    Before I married my husband, I had known what direction he wanted to take. I had known his depth of love for God, his character and his integrity. Ours was quite a long courtship but I have no regrets. It has really helped me in being able to understand the kind of person he is and because of that, we have enjoyed every bit of our marriage. Just a word of caution “A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.” When you discover differences that show incompatibility, it is wiser to dissolve the relationship instead of being another number on the divorce list.

    Check for maturity

    Since the period of courtship is a time of proving all things, it is wisdom to prove his or her maturity. In God’s concept, marriage is for men and women, not for boys and girls. The Bible says: The rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man (Genesis 2:22). The Word of God also says: Therefore shall a man…cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Take particular note of these words ‘man’ and ‘woman’ in the above passages. Maturity is required before marriage. One needs to be matured spiritually, physically and emotionally and this must be addressed in courtship.

    However, maturity can be determined from two viewpoints: age and ability to handle life situations. These two put together, help in determining how mature an individual is. One that is mature for marriage should be able to assume responsibility for his or her actions, and take up the welfare of his or her spouse and children. If you are not mature enough to be a parent, then you are not mature enough for marriage. Adulthood is a basic requirement for success in marriage.

    When you are spiritually, emotionally and physically mature for marriage, you will be able to control various aspects of your life and also, you will be in control of your emotions. Wild emotions or impure emotions can lead to defilement of the marriage bed in courtship. You will discover, therefore, that God’s concept of courtship is quite different from man’s concept. Everybody has a choice to make – whether or not to accept man’s concept or God’s. However, it should be noted that God, who is the sole designer of courtship and marriage, has the correct view. His view must be taken, if we desire to reap the full reward of honour in marriage via pure courtship.

    If you desire more counsel, ask God in prayer. For your prayer to be answered, you need to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If this is your desire, say this prayer in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born-again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).