The Nation Newspaper

Category: Family forum

  • Maintaining Purity in Courtship (1)

    Dear Reader,

    I am glad to let you know that, marriage can be one of the sweetest experiences on earth. However, it can also be a bitter pill depending on how you go about it. The Lord designed marriage from inception to be a thrilling experience filled with joyful events, new discoveries, and the euphoria of companionship. After designing and creating the blueprint for a happy home, the Bible says: And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good… (Genesis 1:31). But the natural man with his own rules and ideologies corrupted it and this led to the “bitter pill” experienced in marriage and family today. The Word of God says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). As believers in Christ Jesus, He has not left you alone to be confronted with the bitter experiences some have in marriage, through the defilement of the marriage bed in courtship. The Lord Jesus has provided in His Word, guidelines that will help you triumph in any area of your life, including courtship and marriage. If you will just follow them, you will reap the blessings that they carry.

    The subject of marriage begins when two individuals, man and woman, make a decision to marry each other. That is the beginning of a real relationship. A real relationship is one where you love that person enough to be honest. Honest about who you are, what you plan to do and be, and how you feel about them. At this point, what does God’s Word say to the believer? It says: Prove all things… (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

    To prove means to examine. You prove by getting to know the person better. Your would-be spouse needs to be proved. You too need to be proved, in order to know if you can cope. It is to know if you can actually be a help to the other person. This period of waiting and watching before the actual wedding is called courtship. Others call it, “going steady”. Whatever the case is, this is the period where you determine if you have made the right choice or not. At such a time, you need to be very alert and not be blinded by romantic feelings, because marriage is not a fantasy, but reality.

    Next to love, the most important ingredients in relationships are openness and honest communication. If, as an intending wife you lack communication with transparency and vulnerability, then you need to work on these areas! Communication is a crucial foundation to every marriage, and open communication is necessary in order to understand what is truly motivating each other when you have differing points of view. Courtship is a period you get more acquainted with your would-be spouse. Despite the fact that you are getting closer and knowing each other better, courtship period should not be equated to marriage. What you do with this period determines how your marriage will turn out to be. This is actually the foundational stage of marriage. The Word of God says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalms 11:3). At this stage, you can’t move in or sleep with your would-be partner in an attempt to know each other better. It is ungodly, unhealthy and doesn’t allow you establish a good foundation for your marriage. To maintain purity in courtship, you ought to know what to do during courtship. When you know what to do during courtship, you will be able to have a fulfilled one. I shall be taking some of them in these teaching and subsequent ones.How then do you maintain purity in courtship?

    Pray Together

    As believers in Christ, you need to take time out to pray together and share God’s Word together. This helps you to ascertain your partner’s spiritual depth and genuine love for God. Pray together with this in mind.

    Play games, visit friends together

    In the process of doing this, you get to know who your partner’s real friends are. This is another way of knowing whom you are about getting married to. The saying goes, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are” and if I may add “whom you will become” (Proverbs 20:13).

    Visit family members

    It is wise you don’t rush into this step, until your conviction is strengthened and you are sure of your partner. By so doing, you owe your integrity not only to God but also to your family. From the foregoing, you need wisdom to discern the kind of man or woman you want to live the rest of your life with.

    To obtain wisdom, you need to accept Jesus who is the Wisdom of God as your Lord and personal Saviour by saying this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born-again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Staphylococcus and infertility

    I will like to state here that bacteria infections like staphylococcus, escheria coli, gonococcus, and kleps are major infections that can cause a lot of havoc in the male and female reproductive system thereby leading to low sperm count, weak erection, lack of sexual desires among married couple, penile and vaginal discharges, irritaitons in the male and female organ, lack of ovulation, unbalanced hormone,,irregular menstruation and at times miscarriages if at all there is conception. For instance staphylococcus are upto 3 species as follows; (a)staph epidermidis which attacks the skin leading to boil and skin irritation and (b) staph saprophyticus which attacks the urinary tract leading to painful urination and biting sensation in the urinary tract and staph aureaus which destroys the immune system thereby leads to numerous symptoms as follows; It attacks the lung leading to staphylococcus pneumonia which eventually results to difficult breathing and cough condition. Staph also leads to meningitis, which is called brain infection leading to brain access and occasional forgetfulness.

    Staphylococcus attacks the blood thereby leading to crawling and and biting sensations on the skin, staph attacks the bones, the muscles, and joints leading to general body weakness, muscular and joint pains and spasm. Staphylococcus also attacks the ovary, the womb and at times leading to tubal blockage, and therefore leads to female infertility. Certain Medical analysts believe that this infection and other categories of infection could lead to hormonal imbalances thereby leading to a change in the menstrual cycle, scanty menses, and amenorrhea where there is no menses at all. Analysts believe that staphylococcus affects the sperm mortility and viscosity thereby leading to oligaspermia or azospermia where there is low sperm count or no ejaculation of spermatozoa at all and therefore leads to male infertility. Staphylococcus are now resistant to certain antibiotics. Staphylococcus are bacteria infections. Staph infections can combine with other health issues and lead to male and female infertility.

    Amazingly last year, a secondary school teacher in her late fourties who had been married for well over 19 years without ever getting pregnant was brought to my clinic by her proprietress. She had fibroid, homonal imbalance and staphylococcal infection for serveral years without any solution as she had taken different medication to no avail. She followed her proprietress reluctantly to my office. She didnt have any faith at all as she was frustrated and refused to discuss her health problems with me. I only studied her medical result which she handed over to me reluctantly. She was persuaded and brought to my office by her proprietress. Within two months of taking the herbs she became pregnant while on the herbs and eventually had twin bouncing baby girls to the glory of God. We have many other testomonies which space in this column will not permit me to share now.

    Let me quote Professor Franklin D. Lowy of the Columbian University who is a professor of medicine and a senior researcher in Staphylococcal organisms. Professor Lowy submitted according to his well founded research that staphylococcus is “uniquely adaptive” it is carried in the nose and can also spread from one person to the other. According to him staph is highly promiscuous” According to certain experts, Staphylococcus which were not resistant to certain drugs as far back as 1970s has now become resistant to the same drugs, though they were still the drugs which were bactericidal {i.e able to destroy organism} these organisms in the time past. For the purpose of emphasis and for the benefit of new readers of this column, I will like to define staphylococcus again. Medically “Staphylococcus are any pathogenic bacteria, parastic to human that belong to the genus staphylococcus. The spherical bacteria cells (cocci) typically occur in irregular clusters (Gr. staphyle – bunch of grapes) the term staphyloccosi is also sometimes used loosely for the cluster arrangement itself and broadly for any bacteria with such a growth pattern. The pigments produced by staphylocococci are the basis of the names given to the various strains those with colors ranging from orange to yellow are designated Staph aureaus.

    Staph aureaus is the major specie of these infection which attacks human beings. They produce infection in any organ of the body such as staph pneumonia of the lungs, brain access etc. The most common food poisoning is brought by staph contaminated food. The staph organsims also generate toxins and enzymes that can destroy both the red and white blood cells. I will like to submit that British Medical Journal Reported in February that 800 people died from drug resistant staph in 2002 vs 51 in 1993. Cases have also spiked up in most part of the world. According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, U.S.A, staph resistant drugs doubled from 1987 to 1997. I decided to cite the above reference to counter the belief in the minds of certain people that staphylococcal infection is an infection for only Africans. This is absolutely wrong. According to sound knowledge, and information, staphylococcus is a worldwide health issue. We need more enlightenment to a health disaster which is now destroying and killing our people. Staphylococcus are not viral infections. Research on certain herbs documented by Dr Hoffman, a former Lecturer at the University of Wales and the former president of American Guild of Herbalists are effective remedies in our staphylococcal treatment.

    Call Dr Paul Torty on 08038824033 08037140368, 08051625888, 08099829832, , 08083860575. Distance is a not a barrier, wherever you are, call now. email paultorty@yahoo.com face book; Dr Paul Torty

  • How to have a successful courtship (2)

    Dear Reader,

    Last week, I showed you the keys to a successful courtship.  This week, I shall be teaching on “The Duration of Courtship.”

    Courtship does not have a particular duration. There are no scriptural references that say exactly how long courtship should be. Most Biblical examples vary from couple to couple like Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, Jacob and Leah in Genesis 24, 29:1-30. However, the Word of God in Ecclesiastes 10:10 says: …Wisdom is profitable to direct. Since marriage is a lifetime affair and not a thing to be rushed into, it is important for you to be sure you know each other well enough. Even though courtship is not judged by how long but how well, the period should be reasonably long enough for both of you to get to know each other well enough, in order to live together all the days of your lives.

    For instance, my husband and I courted for six years, but its effect is speaking now, as it gave me ample time to know all about what my husband was doing and what to expect in future. You cannot know someone completely, no matter how long you court but the longer, the better. If you court for only a week or less, then, you will need God’s special grace in your marriage. Why? Because, knowing each other will last almost a lifetime, while learning about each other will also take time, but you are better off, when you know quite a lot about someone. A reasonable length of courtship period is a necessity you cannot afford to overlook. In Genesis 29:20-30, Jacob courted Rachel for seven years but was given Leah. Even after that, he still had to court again for another seven years for Rachel! In fact, it was seven years and seven days with Leah’s week inclusive.

    Do not rush into marriage. Spend some time to look before you leap. Many have rushed into marriage, only to discover the true identity of the person they are living with, at a time that is too late.  A lady once came to me to inform me of her marriage intentions. I wanted to find out a few things from her and ask her a few questions. So, I booked an appointment with her. It happened that the appointment could not hold, and the next time I met her, she was already married. The look on her face showed that she needed help. I later discovered that the man she married had been living outside the country for many years and had just returned, so they did not really know each other. She, of course was in a hurry to get married, so she could travel back with him.

    While there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to travel with her husband after marriage, there is everything wrong in wanting to marry a man just because you are desperate to travel out. The man, I guess, knowing himself and his spiritual limitations tried to delay the marriage, but she succeeded in convincing him since she was ready to shoulder all the expenses.  As soon as the marriage was conducted, she discovered the real nature of the man she had married. He was a man, who was not just interested in the things of God. She wanted to call it quit, but God would not permit that.

    If only she had been patient enough, she would have known the true colour of the man before rushing into marriage. Now, she had to live the rest of her life in an uncomfortable situation. It can be very dangerous not to know the one you are going to spend your life with; especially, in a world so advanced in technology that people get married everyday via computer/internet. It is wise to know yourselves well enough, before going into marriage.

    The benefits of knowing your partner long enough are innumerable. Some of the benefits both of you stand to gain include, all-round maturity i.e. spiritually, emotionally, physically etc.  This is because of the increased level of understanding of each other that both of you will have. You will enjoy the benefit of knowing your partner’s peculiar characteristics, likes, dislikes and how to handle them (Genesis 5:22-23). You will be able to conclude better, on decisions such as the location, finances, number of children, vision and other issues that are important as a foundation for your future home.

    Knowing each other long enough, allows you the benefit of a friendly relationship. This kind of friendship is the one that is mentioned in Proverbs 18:24 which says: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. It affords you the benefit of being best friends. Finally, knowing the person long enough, allows you to confidently decide whether to marry him/her or not.

    Since courtship is not marriage, it can be broken. If while courting, you find out that your relationship is not going on well, or you discover that both of you disagree more often than you agree, then wisdom demands that you break the relationship. If during courtship you discover that two of you cannot “walk” together; that is, you are not compatible and, therefore, cannot make it together, a u-turn is permitted (Amos 3:3).  If you feel you have made a wrong choice, call off the relationship! A broken courtship is permitted, if necessary. It is better to break a courtship than to end a marriage in divorce. After all, a broken courtship is not the same as divorce!

    Some young men and women are in such a hurry to tie the nuptial knot that they do not take time to know each other or refuse to be true to each other. The courtship period is a time to prove all things about your mate.  It’s true that you have decided to spend the rest of your lives together, but you must not take things for granted either.

    The grace you need to go through the length of your courtship is available with God when you surrender your life to Christ. If you want to give your life to Christ and be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • How to have a successful courtship (1)

    Dear Reader,

    I welcome you again to this unique platform in Jesus’ name! This month, I will be teaching on “How to Have a Successful Courtship.”

    Today, I want to show you The Keys to a Successful Courtship. Courtship is the period when you get more acquainted with your would-be spouse. Despite the fact that you are getting closer to each other and getting to know each other better, the period is not the same as marriage. You can’t move in or sleep with your would-be spouse, in order to know each other better. It is unhealthy and doesn’t make for a good foundation in your marriage.

    What, then, is courtship?

    Courtship is the period between when two people agree to marry and when they actually do. Courtship is the process of selecting and attracting another for an intimate relationship. Remember, a successful courtship is a necessary step towards a successful marriage. The reason many people experience misunderstandings and all kinds of trouble in marriage is because they did not have a successful courtship.

    Keys To A Successful Courtship

    • Spend quality time together: To have a successful courtship, the man and woman must spend quality time with each other deliberating on issues such as their dreams, interests, view points, callings and assignments, etc. This is why it is very important that you spend time in meaningful discussions, not just looking at each other and saying, “Oh you are so beautiful. I love you so much.” If you want to know a serious Christian, listen to him when he talks. It is impossible to separate an individual from his words. For instance, if your fiancé/fiancée only talks about money, it is an indication that he or she is a money-minded person. If on the other hand, he is only interested in your physique, you will hear him speak of nothing else but your physical features. Your words reflect your thoughts. The Word of God says: How can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh (Matthew 12:34).

    When my husband and I were in courtship, every time I heard him speak, I knew where he was heading for. I knew his convictions, which were my convictions also. So, it became easy for both of us to flow together. It is very important, therefore, that you create time for your would-be husband or wife to discuss about issues pertaining to your future.

    Ø             Public appearance: This is very simple and significant if you want to have a successful courtship. As an intending couple, you must be seen together in public meetings.  These are limited only to church services, wedding, matriculation and graduation ceremonies, public lectures, academic seminars, etc. However, be careful how you conduct yourselves in public. For example, how your partner responds to issues such as reactions to annoying situations and the way he/she relates to people is very important. This will be a sign of what the future holds. For instance, if he or she lacks Christian character, you’re heading for trouble by going into marriage with such a person. If you find out that, for any social reason, such as height, age, educational differences, physical defects, personal carriage, eating manner, etc., you are ashamed to appear in public with your future husband, you may never make a good couple. Be real and do not go through courtship with the eyes of your mind closed!

    • Having pleasure in common things: You must know that courtship is not just a time of prayer, fasting and studying the Word of God. Although these are of great importance, courtship is also a time of enjoying common things together. For instance, both of you may enjoy taking pictures. It is okay! Have fun, but avoid anything that will lead to sin. Such pictures can be kept for future references. The other day, I saw some pictures that my husband and I took before we got married more than thirty years ago! It was a lot of fun! Those times help you discover whether you are actually meant for each other or not.
    • Good communication: The basis for a fruitful and lasting relationship in any family is a good and effective communication. Lack of communication in a relationship is the reason for so much tension in many homes. Good communication is the “mortar” that cements the marital relationship. Communication is the key to a successful courtship and marriage. A wise man said, “If you talk together, you stay together.” I believe it is true, and you know, marriage is all about living together!

    One of the easiest ways to communicate during courtship is through letters. This becomes very handy, especially if the individuals involved are not in the same city or town. There are also other means of communication such as telephone, etc, especially in these days of fast electronic media revolution.  We have e-mails, facebook, twitter, instagram, etc., as other fastest means of conveying messages.

    The first step to take, in order to have a successful courtship is to give your life to God through His Son, Jesus Christ. Giving your life to Christ entails confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. That is what being born again is all about. If you want to give your life to Christ and be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Understanding Christian courtship (4)

    This is the concluding part of the teachings on Understanding Christian Courtship and this week we shall be examining the “ENGAGEMENT” period as the peak of every successful courtship.

    What is Engagement?

    Engagement is what succeeds a satisfactory courtship period. It is when you and your partner have made up your mind to spend the rest of your lives together in marriage. At this time, you are both formally introduced to your parents, pastors, friends and relations. It is also the stage at which the dowry or bride price is paid in most cases as a demonstration of love for your would-be spouse.

    Genesis 24:53 says: And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebecca: he gave also to her brother and her mother precious things. Notice the words “precious things”. Whatever things that are presented for dowry must be precious, not sinful and not contrary to the Word of God. These things ought to be given willingly. Contrary to what many believers think, it is scriptural to pay dowry but the things you offer should be precious and not things that will dishonour God or tarnish your Christian testimony.

    When my husband and I were about to marry, certain things were included on the list of items that he was to bring as the bride price. We knew that we couldn’t take those things and my husband would rather never be married than present those things, because of our stand for God and our future. Yes, we love each other and we were looking forward to getting married, but we loved God more.

    When my husband got the list, he did not respond. Then one day, my parents said to him, “We sent so and so paper to you and you didn’t respond”. God gave him wisdom to reply them, and he said, “You see, there are certain things on the list, that if we get involved in them now, we would become problems to you tomorrow.”  My father agreed with him and said, “Cancel whatever is against your future on the list” and that was it! Don’t sell your birthright today else you will regret your actions tomorrow!

    The engagement period, being the peak period of courtship, is also a time when your partner and you will need to spend more time praying, fasting and gathering knowledge from the Word of God concerning His promises and commandments needed for a successful family life. Many couples tend to get carried away with various activities during this period that they never seem to find time to seek God. If there is any time to seek God more, it is at this time because both of you will face several challenges, distractions and contrary reactions that may cause you to easily lose grip, if your relationship with God is not firm.

    At this period too, other conclusions such as the materials needed for a home together, must be in place. This is not the time to start hunting for a job (if you are unemployed) but that you already have a job. You should be prepared enough to embrace the responsibilities that marriage and your future family will demand from you (2 Chronicles 27:6).

    Sincerity that is void of every form of pretences is a MUST at this time. You have to be open, hiding nothing from each other and keeping no skeletons in your cupboard. Let your partner know even the smallest details about you. I have seen a lot of ladies fallen victim to this, simply because they would not let go of secrets and pretences. If for example, as a lady you like to wear red lipstick, then don’t pretend that you don’t wear lipstick at all; only for your husband to stumble on you, wearing one after you are both married. Let your partner accept you for whom you truly are without assumptions.

    So much is demanded of you and God’s help is available when you accept Him through His Son, Jesus Christ.  When you confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour, God recognises you as His child and He begins to direct your steps in order to ensure that you do not fall victim to mistakes, hurts and sorrows. If you are ready to accept Jesus Christ now and become born again, please say this prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Understanding Christian courtship (3)

    Welcome to the third teaching on Understanding Christian Courtship.  I am sure that what you have learnt so far has been of great blessing to you. May you begin to enjoy your courtship as you put those facts into practice in Jesus’ Name! This week, I will be teaching on “Some major characteristics of a good Christian courtship.” These are necessary things to watch out for in your courtship as it will help you to know whether you are on the right track or not.

    Agreement

    The bedrock of marriage is agreement and the first stage takes place in courtship. There must be an agreement between you and your partner from day one.  Both of you must have agreed to spend the rest of your lives together in marriage. Both of you must be able to agree on pressing issues that concern your future together. God’s Word in Amos 3:3 says: Can two walk together, except they be agreed? Where there is no agreement, there will be confusion, disorderliness, disunity and that home will definitely become a workshop for the devil.  A solid agreement will go a long way in ensuring the success of your relationship, even after your courtship period.

    Christian Character

    Character is like smoke; no matter how hard you pretend, it cannot be hidden. You and your partner must have good Christian characters that speak. Both of you must be God-fearing and doers of God’s commandment on truthfulness, commitment to the things of God like fellowship, Kingdom service, tithing, offerings etc. This is why God commands that you join yourself with someone of like belief and faith. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?  and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

    The character of the two of you must radiate the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Ephesians 5:9 and Galatians 5:22-23. A good Christian character will guide your partner from acting the way any natural person would, thereby saving you from sorrows and hurts.

    Progress

    A Christian courtship must progressively culminate in engagement and then marriage.  Proverbs 4:18 says: But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day. This means constant progress/advancement is being made towards your goal i.e. marriage. Therefore, progress must be made physically, spiritually, materially, mentally and in every other area.

    Lack of progress leads to defilement (Proverbs 13:12) or stagnation and ‘stagnant water, they say, stinks.’ The success of every good courtship period is that it should end in something more meaningful.

    Pre-marital Sex

    Many begin quite well in the spirit and end up messing themselves up by engaging in the works of the flesh. Galatians 5:19-21 lists the various works of the flesh. Since courtship is not marriage, you have no marital rights over each other.  God’s Word in Hebrews 13:4 says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled… What you do with the bed during courtship is laying a foundation for what your marriage will be like when you get into it.

    There is no room for sexual relationship or anything that leads to it while in courtship. Yes, you intend to marry, but as long as you are not yet married, it is sinful for you to go into it.  Pre-marital sex does not only defile, it also destroys trust, honour and respect from your spouse in marriage. It is like a wound. Even when it’s healed, the scar still remains.

    With the AIDS scare terrorizing the world today; even the skeptical world has discovered the need for purity. It has suddenly realized that there is no safer precaution than choosing a life of purity and chastity. It is possible to say ‘No!’ to pre-marital sex. Just choose to seek the Lord uncompromisingly and He will preserve the treasure He created in your bodies.

    The misery of promiscuity can be avoided, if you would accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. You can accept him right now by saying this prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Understanding Christian Courtship -2

    Last week, I started teaching on Understanding Christian Courtship and we examined the purpose of the courtship period. This week, I will be teaching on “How long and how far you should go with courtship.”

    Courtship does not have a particular duration. There are ‘no scriptural references that say exactly how long courtship should be. Most Biblical examples vary from couple to couple like Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, Jacob and Leah in Genesis 24, 29:1-30. However, the Word of God in Ecclesiastes 10:10 says: ….Wisdom is profitable to direct.  Since marriage is a lifetime affair it is not a thing to be rushed into but it is important to be sure you know each other well enough. Even though courtship is not how long but how well; the period should be reasonably long enough for both of you to get to know each other well and to be able to live together all the days of your lives.

    My husband and I courted for six years and its effect is still speaking as it gave me ample time to know all about what he was doing and what to expect in future. You cannot know someone completely, no matter how long you court but the longer, the better. If you court for only a week or less, then, you will need God’s special grace in your marriage.  Why? Because, knowing each other will last almost a lifetime while learning about each other will also take time, but you are better off, when you know quite a lot about someone.  A reasonable length of courtship period is a necessity you cannot afford to overlook. In Genesis 29:20-30, Jacob courted Rachel for seven years but was given Leah. Even after that, he still had to court again for another seven years for Rachel!  In fact, it was seven years and seven days with Leah’s week inclusive.

    Do not rush into marriage. Spend some time to look before you leap.  Many have rushed into marriage, only to discover the true identity of the person they are living with, at a time that is too late. A lady once came to me to inform me of her marriage intentions. I wanted to find out a few things from her and ask her a few questions. So, I booked an appointment with her. It happened that the appointment could not hold, and the next time I met her, she was already married. The look on her face showed that she needed help. I later discovered that the man she married had been living outside the country for many years and had just come back, so they did not really know each other.  She, of course was in a hurry to get married so she could travel back with him.

    While there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to travel with her husband after marriage, there is everything wrong in wanting to marry a man just because you want to go outside the country with him.  The man, I guess, knows himself and his spiritual limitations and had tried to delay the marriage, but she succeeded in convincing him since she was ready to shoulder all the expenses. As soon as the marriage was conducted, she discovered the real nature of the man she married. He was a man who was not just interested in the things of God. She wanted to call it quit, but God would not permit it.

    If only she had been patient enough, she would have known the true nature of the man before rushing into marriage. Now, she had to live the rest of her life in an uncomfortable situation. It can be very dangerous not to know the one you are going to spend your life with especially, in a world so advanced in technology that people get married everyday via computer/internet. It is wise to ensure you know yourselves well enough before going into marriage.What, then, are some of the benefits of knowing your partner long enough?

    The benefits of knowing your partner long enough are innumerable.  Some of the benefits both of you stand to gain include:

    *All round maturity spiritually, emotionally, physically etc. This is because of the increased level of understanding that both of you will have, from knowing each other for long. You will enjoy the benefit of knowing the peculiar characteristics, likes, dislikes, weaknesses of each other and how well to handle them (Genesis 5:22-23).

    *You will be able to conclude better on decisions such as the location, finance, number of children, vision and other plans that are important foundation for your future home.

    *It allows you the benefit of a friendly relationship. This kind of friendship is the one that is mentioned in Proverbs 18:24 which says: A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. It allows you the benefit of being ‘best friends’.

    *Finally, it allows you to confidently decide whether to marry the person or not. Since courtship is not marriage, it can be broken. If while courting, you find out that your relationship is not going on well, or you discover that you both disagree more often than you agree, then wisdom demands that you break the relationship. God knows all, sees all and knows every man’s heart.  When you accept Him, He will help to reveal the true identity of your partner to you, irrespective of pretences.  To accept Him, you have to confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour.  If you will like to do this, please say this prayer of faith with me. “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • The single life (5)

    Dear Reader,

    This Week, I will be sharing with you some vital tips that will help you to live a glorious life as a single person. Some single persons find it difficult to fulfill their destinies because of these points I want to share with you today.

    Dealing with Sin Problem

    Many single persons have problem with sin in their lives. This makes it difficult for them to fulfill their destinies in a grand style. The sin problem has an answer. The Bible says: For sin shall not have dominion over you: for you are not under the law, but under grace (Romans 6:14). The price for sins has already been paid for by Jesus Christ.

    Engaging your Will-Power

    Will-power is a very strong determination to do something. The will is a God-given force able to determine your habits and choices. Also, your will is a force of deliverance and a force of liberty. You can stop that deadly habit of masturbation and fornication in your life by a will. It is a potent force in every mortal being. You can “will” to refuse defilement by sin. Legally, a will is a document that becomes operational, only after the death of the testator. You are dead in Christ (Colossians 3:3). Man is a free moral agent; he has the ability to make a will which is stronger than desire. Joseph exercised his will-power (Genesis 39:9). Daniel stood firm on the power of the will, not even a threat of death in the lion’s den could shake him (Daniel 1:8; 6:16-22).

    Stop the thoughts

    Until you stop the thoughts, you cannot stop the act. If you think filthy thoughts, you cannot but live a filthy life. It is impossible to think impure and expect to live pure. Isaiah 55:7 says: Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. This Scripture means that until an individual forsakes evil thoughts, he invariably will have evil ways. But my joy is that you can cast down every imagination or thought that is unrighteous. You can rebuke those evil thoughts once you sense them coming. Not just only that, fill your inner-man with the right things. Stuff your mind with God’s Word and anointed materials. Then your actions also will be right.  Remember, “Garbage in, garbage out” and I say, “Word in, Word out!”  It is time to take control of your thoughts and be in charge!

    Meditate on the Word

    By the Word of God, you strip sin naked and send it away. Lay up the Word of God in your heart so you don’t sin against God. Psalm 119:11 says: Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee. You destroy sin by firing the Word contacted by revelation at it. The Word is the sword of the spirit; you can use it as an offensive and defensive weapon.

    The Blood of Jesus

    The blood of Jesus purges and sanctifies us (Romans 5:8-10, Hebrews 9:12-14). When you are in a conflict with sin, plead the blood, it’s a stronghold (Zechariah 9:11-12). You can overcome sin via the instrumentality of the blood. Revelation 12:11 says:  And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb…..

    The name of Jesus

    When you are in a conflict with sin, call on the name of Jesus and that evil thought or imagination will bow. Every knee bows to the name of Jesus (Philippians 2:10).

    The help of the Holy Spirit

    The Holy Spirit is our dependable helper in time of battle. The Word of God says:  For if you live after the flesh, you shall die: but if you through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, you shall live (Romans 8:13). By the help of the Holy Spirit, you mortify the deeds of the flesh. He is your superior helper, engage Him!

    Mind your Association

    The company you keep can either make or mar you; it doesn’t leave you neutral. A wise man once said, “You will remain what you are today in five years time, except for the books you read and the company you keep.” The one who keeps company with wise men is the one who will be wise, but the companion of fools will not only be foolish but will, ultimately be destroyed. Walking with a foolish man is as bad as being foolish. One thing some Christians fail to understand is that one cannot flow together with every believer, simply because the person calls himself a believer. Some believers have wonderful titles (Apostles, pastors etc.) but are appallingly lacking in Christian character.

    The story of Amnon and his subtle friend Jonadab is a good example of wrong association. The Word of God says: And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her.  But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtle man (2 Samuel 13:2). Amnon paid for it with his life. After his death, Jonadab, the same “friend” who gave him wrong counsel, was the one who announced his death.

    It is impossible to amount to anything outside the company you keep. You cannot expect to live a better life than your companions. The Word of God says: Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us (2 Thessalonians 3:6).

    If you want to be born again, please say this simple prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, congratulations, you are born again! You are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • The single life (4)

    Dear Reader,

    For the past three weeks, I have showed you what the single life is all about. I taught on how you can be connected to your creator and Godly character.

    Many single persons make the mistake of putting their lives on hold, until they get married and get a real life. This is not supposed to be so because the Word of God makes it clear that you are to redeem the time because the days are evil.  In other words, unless the season of your single years is redeemed, it stands a chance of being caught up by the evil of the day. God’s Word speaking says: Redeeming the time, because the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16).

    This Week, I will be sharing on “Redeeming the Time.”

    Life is actually timed! On the other hand, time is life. This explains the reason for the popular phrase “life time.” Life is tied to time. In essence, it means the way you handle your time is a pointer to the way you handle your life. To waste time is to waste life and to invest time is to invest life.

    Many young people spend time hanging out with friends; very few actually invest it. Your tomorrow is determined by what you invest in your today, so invest your single life well today and tomorrow, you will reap your reward of investment. It is very interesting to note that time can neither be stored nor held back. To be uniquely different as a single, you must redeem your time, investing rather than spending it.

    To redeem time actually means to make it deliver its worth, honour and reputation to you. It means to take control of it and making the most of it. If you lose control of time, you lose control of your life.  The truth is, the best time to make this a lifestyle is while you are still single.

    The single years are a colourful and beautiful season, loaded with abundant benefits and opportunities. Thus, you need an understanding of how to make the most of your season now. You really cannot make much out of life without understanding the power of your now and effectively putting it to work. Even faith, by which we live, is a now substance (Hebrews 11:1).

    You cannot afford to tiptoe through life! The best of life is yours for the taking – now! You can actually give your life its best now. Don’t be careless or live life with a non-challant attitude. Get hold of your life and create a great future for yourself. Your single years are your best opportunity to lay a solid foundation for your future life, especially in marriage. Wake up, and do something worthwhile with your life now!

    Furthermore, take practical steps to ensure that you make the most of your single season, by locating the plan of God for your life and fulfilling it. To fulfill God’s plan and purpose for your life, you must understand the season that you are in.  Understanding makes one to be outstanding. God’s Word speaking about Uzziah in 2 Chronicles 26:5 says: And he sought God in the days of Zechariah, who had understanding in the visions of God: and as long as he sought the Lord, God made him to prosper. The single life is actually a time to seek God’s vision for your life, not a time to indulge yourself in sin.

    Look at this testimony:

    “I got born again in September, 1998. It was an encounter I had when I arrived at a friend’s office and met some pastors discussing the Word of God, and God touched me as we prayed together. I gave my life to Christ and got invited to church.

    Since then, the Lord has made me to abide here in this church.  And today, I’m a protocol officer in this church. God has really increased me greatly.  I must say I have seen changes in my life.

    When I got born again, it’s not as if I was told what to do and what not to do. But I discovered that by the Spirit of God, I discarded so many things I was indulging myself in. As I was moving closer to God, He was revealing Himself to me. I have several encounters with God using me to do so many things. Miracles are happening through prayer and the laying on of hands, which I contacted when I went to the Bible School.

    God has been so marvellous. Also through me, many who have seen the changes in my life were brought to church too.” – Orie, K.

    Your single season is a time to discover God’s plan and purpose for your life and to begin to walk in it. What are you doing with your single life? Are you investing or wasting it? Think of it! May the Lord grant you understanding!

    Therefore, to maximize your single years and redeem your time, the first step to take is to identify yourself with God, the Author of life and Creator of all living. To do this, you surrender by confessing your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this simple prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, congratulations, you are born again! You are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • The single life (3)

    Dear Reader,

    Are you due for marriage? God’s Word in Isaiah 34:16 says: Seek you out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it has commanded, and his spirit it has gathered them. Please be aware that God has not forgotten you! God cannot mismanage your life. Stop searching for a marriage partner at all cost. Make Jesus your Lord, your Boss and be deeply committed to Him. This is the excellent foundation for your future.

    In this teaching, I will be looking at “Godly Character.” I would like us to look at the life of Joseph who exhibited a godly character, even in the midst of negative circumstances.

    Joseph’s life provides us with a beautiful example of a person who was totally committed to living a godly life, regardless of the circumstances he encountered. Joseph exhibited the character of God through his faithfulness, integrity, purity and mercy, even while he was forced to endure intense pressure and difficulty (Genesis 37 & 39). The whole life of Joseph teaches us something about Godly character.

    The Bible tells us that Joseph was hated by his brothers, who were jealous of him.  He was only a teenager when they decided to kill him and cruelly threw him into a pit. Think of the problem from Potiphar’s wife. Joseph could have, as well, used loneliness, bitterness or self-pity as an excuse for giving in to this woman. And since he was totally alone in a foreign land, no one would ever have known but Joseph had only few seconds to decide if he would maintain his integrity, righteousness and purity or trade them for a few moments of pleasure. Joseph’s choice in this moment of test and temptation would affect his future and the future of Israel forever; so, he decided to flee. To be single is to be whole, outstanding, unique, separate and positively different!

    Godly character earned Joseph favour in the sight of God and He was with Joseph. God did not leave him alone in that dungeon. God’s Word says: But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him mercy, and He gave him favour in the sight of the keeper of the prison……. (Genesis 39:21-23). Also, as a slave, Joseph rose from the dungeon to the second highest position in the massive Egyptian empire, where he had enormous power and riches. He was second only to Pharaoh as God rewarded him generously for his righteousness. But he paid the price for the reward. He was abused, hated, betrayed, enslaved, tempted, tested, lied upon, unjustly imprisoned and forgotten (not by God) in a dungeon for many years. But he refused to do evil; rather, he walked in holiness, waited patiently, and maintained a soft and grateful heart before God.

    Do you feel imprisoned by circumstances that seem to be beyond your control? Don’t be anxious. Do not panic. Don’t lose hope. “Why?” You know what? I can assure you that it will work out for your good, not against you. This word of assurance in Romans 8:28 is for you. Receive it today. It says: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. You don’t know what God has in store for you – no matter your age! You know what? God is still in the business of divine connections!

    That you are single now does not mean that you are a sub-standard or incomplete being. No, never entertain such feelings or thoughts! In fact, let me state categorically here that being single is not a curse neither is it a disease. It is a blessing, a plus, not a minus, an addition, not a subtraction. It is not weird to be single and is certainly not an evil thing. It is simply a phase of life that holds undeniable benefits for those who utilize it.

    God is not an unrighteous God and He certainly is no respecter of persons (Romans 2:11). What He does for one, He is willing, ready, and able to do for another. He is not more righteous to one as to favour him than He is to another. He is rich unto those that call upon His name and that include you! He knows every phase of your life and He has not forgotten you. Don’t live your single years wondering if God has forgotten you or you are under a curse. No! Never! God is too faithful to fail, He is dependable, and He is more than enough – I am a living proof!

    Life, as you know, is in phases and singleness is a phase that everyone must of necessity pass through in the journey of life: whether as a married person, a eunuch, a celibate, a career person or whosoever you are. Every stage or phase in life has its inherent benefits, which should be harnessed and singleness is no exception. May you enjoy the added benefit inherent in the single years!

    Singleness is a phase of life that you must pass through and the faster you are able to maximize the season and pass the examinations of that phase of life, the faster you move on to the next phase of your life.

    When I was single, some of my colleagues only focus on marriage. Nothing else had meaning to them except marital issues. Most of them don’t have much to show for it even now! This is obviously misplaced priority. Life is much more than that. It is very important that you get your bearing in life, now that you are still single.

    Godly character brought Joseph in favour with God. Until you exhibit godly character, you can never matter in life. Surrendering your life to Christ is the foundation for godly character. You surrender by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this simple prayer of faith with me: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations! You are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name. Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).