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Category: Ask Princess

  • Girls, don’t turn your life to a casino!

    Girls, don’t turn your life to a casino!

    By Temilolu Okeowo  

     

     

    Dear Mummy Temilolu, you are one of the important women in my life. You’ve been a great mother to me. Thank you for all you do. I’ll be 20 years old on Saturday and I know that if I had not been reading your articles since my early teens, I’d have made many sexual mistakes. Your words have formed me to be a better person. Thank you so much for your constant words of encouragement. I pray God blesses you and enlarge you more than you can imagine!

    Pelumi

     

    Dear Madam,

    I stumbled on your article “God is super-committed to Virgins” on twitter.

    I am a 28-year-old virgin, and I met a guy who said he loves me early this year. He came all the way from Anambra State to Port Harcourt to see me. I went to see him in a friend’s house and he tried all he could to have sex with me. Yes I love him but couldn’t give him what he wanted. To shorten the story, when he wanted to return to Anambra State he refused to come and see me and when I asked why, he said if he sees me that his mood will change and he will start feeling the urge to have sex with me. What do I do in a situation where I’ve fallen in love with him?

    I want to visit him in two months and he said he loves me but don’t want to date me and be having sex outside. How do I get him to understand that I don’t want to have sex till my wedding night? HOW DO I GO INTO THIS KIND OF RELATIONSHIP?

    He even asked me the day we saw to just make him “release” even if he doesn’t go all the way but I couldn’t oblige him because to me that’s impure.

    I want to keep a godly relationship. But I think he doesn’t know how to control himself when he is with me. Do you think it’s okay for me to go and visit him?

    Jennifer

    My darling, precious, golden and uncommon Jennifer,

    First, I thank God with all my heart that the guy you discussed didn’t rape you! Who would see you as beautiful as you are and ever believe you are a virgin? You’ve done so well, I’m so proud of you and sure God is mighty proud of you too! Hmm…but why are you allowing your emotions get the better of you such that you’re gambling with your life? When did you meet him? Where do you know him from? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CARRY AS A 28-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN??? Only a man who pays your dowry should have access to your body and your spirituality! Haaa…He doesn’t deserve you and he’s not worth troubling your soul over my dear- after all the pain, denial, hardship and temptation you’ve endured??? Do you know how you weigh and what you are before God? Please don’t let the devil finally “get you.”

    He shouldn’t even come close to kissing you because if he does and with the strange affection building up inside of you, you are the one who will eventually open up her thighs. What do you think he has that you have been looking for in a man that God cannot give you in another man 10 times over? Take a chill pill my love! Don’t let loneliness and family/societal pressure push you into the hands of someone who would mis-use you! Take it or leave it, any man who knows your value would ask for your hand in marriage and wait till your wedding night! This one will mess up with your emotions and bolt! YOU’RE TOO MUCH AND GOD IS GOING TO SEND YOU A MAN THE WORLD WILL CONSIDER TOO MUCH before the month of June in Jesus name! You don’t deserve any less.

    Please read some of my nuggets on chastity and get some more conviction!

    • God has planned “wonderful wonders” for some this year but they’ll transfer it to others through ungodly sex. May you not lose what should settle you for life! Stay chaste!
    • Girls, sexual intercourse is a risky spiritual transaction! You should take the risk with just one man! May your life attract a spouse that’ll catapult your destiny to greatness!!!
    • The more you engage in ungodly sex, the more you reduce in the spirit of God! Is there any man worth that? May the devil not kill the giant in you!
    • If you’re still a virgin, you don’t know what you carry, PLEASE DON’T LOSE IT YET! If you’re no longer one, abstain till your wedding night! May God re-organise your destiny!

     

    I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowo Temilolu.

  • Domestic abuse: Singles – how to give it a miss

    Domestic abuse: Singles – how to give it a miss

    By Mikky Attah

    From the first story in this series, it was a pastor who beat his wife to death in 2017. And on Christmas Day!.  That man claimed to be a Christian.

    Of the UK  Christmas day 2018 wife killer Mohammed Qoraishi , Det. Chf Inspector Ivan Beasley said, “this was an unprovoked and savage attack on a defenceless young woman”.

    UK Judge David Griffith- Jones, in sentencing Qoraishi  said the following- “you inflicted upon her a catalogue of both blunt and sharp instrument injuries. Given the extent and obvious ferocity of the attack, there can be no doubt that your intention must have been to kill your wife”. Yes, Qoraishi is a Muslim- his name even sounds like Quran ! Do not let religion fool you. Moreover, a lot of religious leaders out there paint divorce as a crime- and insist that victims stay on in dangerous , abusive situations; and ‘pray’.

    Woman, man, wife, husband, victim; hear this- for all the advisers insisting you stay there in an abusive relationship/ marriage: NO ONE follows you to the grave in solidarity, upon your decision to stay at all cost. YOU DIE ALONE!

    Like had previously been pointed out, Pastor Ezehiri the 2017 Christmas day wife killer has not been publicly defrocked as a pastor of the Lords Chosen Ministry; in effect, he is still their pastor! Also, he is probably still at large.

    The following details of the highly publicised case of the banker Titi ,whose husband Akolade Arowolo  was found guilty of her murder will be my  last example. Titilayo  it is widely known was murdered in 2011. She was brutally hacked to death, in fact one of her eyeballs was completely gauged  out. In his testimony during the trial Titi’s father George Oyakhire made it known that his ‘daughter did not live continuously with her husband who always beat her and even threatened to throw her down from their storey building apartment.’ Oyakhire reportedly said in court, “ When I told Titilayo to report her husband to a police station she said, God will take control “.

    The pathologist who examined Titi’s corpse discovered 76 stab wounds resulting from the use of “tremendous force”,  on her heart, lungs, liver and other parts of her body. It was so gory, her stomach had been completely torn open. In the words of the pathologist , “All these injuries could not have been self inflicted”( the claim by the husband  was that Titilayo ‘s deadly injuries were entirely self inflicted .

    Justice Lateefat Okunnu of the Ikeja High Court, Lagos sentenced Arowolo to death in 2014.  Now this case, to my mind is the greatest example of religious manipulation . The fellow, Arowolo was a youth leader and later a youth pastor in a notable church ministry, the Foursquare Gospel church. It is wrongly reported that he was a Youth pastor of Redeemed (RCCG), he only changed churches shortly after marriage, but was not a pastor there. However, he got married as a youth pastor, and kept up this appearances all through his trial. Arowolo always came to the court with a very big Bible; he sang loudly and kept muttering Jesus, Jesus, God ; all through his court appearances. In spite of this, though,  he kept changing his alibis,  his defense and cause of death of his wife, all through his trial. His witnesses also, gave defense which they too changed in the course of the trial.  Neighbours all maintained that Arowolo mercilessly beat his wife, frequently. This, expectedly he denied. On the day of judgement, Arowolo came to the court with his big Bible, but this time he made a public show of kneeling before his seat and praying loudly, gesticulating and vibrating for the court to see. Throughout his incarceration now, he is being labelled a model prisoner because of all his outward display of religious piety- as a matter of fact, he was singled out to address the panel on prerogative of mercy- bringing me to issue  a stern warning to all those “enduring” domestic abuse- the ultimate aim of the abuser is to kill the victim.  I want to shock any victim even further-just as it appears  set to happen to Arowolo if care is not  taken; there is only one thing that ever  happens to murdering perpetrators of domestic abuse. NOTHING.  Nothing happens; sadly and especially, if they are men.  They simply walk free, or are set free, and shortly afterwards, go on to marry new wives, whom they invariably too, violently abuse, with time.

    My position on any victim  is abundantly clear- quit procrastinating and right NOW, as you are even reading this, pack up and get OUT of that danger zone. Only after counselling sessions might have been certified by experts  should reconciliation be contemplated.

    For those who are single, domestic abuse can completely be avoided.  By courtship.  People with violent tendencies must be dropped, as potential, future partners.

    A reader from Kogi State , Sylvester Ojogbane, reacting to this topic suggests psychiatric tests for would- be couples. He says , “Haba , what evil has taken over men’s minds?  It’s high time churches introduced psychiatric tests in marriage courses ahead of weddings”.

    I end by saying  she, he who has an ear, let her hear; let him hear.

    • Twitter @mikky_princess
  • Believe, Nigerian cleric prophesied Coronavirus outbreak

    Believe, Nigerian cleric prophesied Coronavirus outbreak

    With Mikky Attah

    Please, I just want to ask why is it that there is no prophecy or prediction concerning the deadly coronavirus that is tormenting the world and spreading panic all over, even in Nigeria by our many anointed men of God (in Nigeria). If you run through their yearly prophecy, none talked about coronavirus? Zionema, 28 February 2020

    Anyone with useful information regarding this question should please enlighten us. Karo93

    Easy. God does not exist. Those that claim to hear from him are at best, con artists and liars. This last online  comment was from Bacteriologist (Nairaland).. I have already told readers of this column that I will be a lot more active on social media from now.

    Concerning predictions on coronavirus, even I was astonished to find that there actually was a prophecy by a Nigerian cleric, Bishop Emmah Isong, about it, and it was even announced and documented months before the occurrence.

    In order to put everything in perspective, and more importantly, for one’s empirical examination; here is not only a background, which includes some lesser-known facts but also a timeline of events including those that are actually ongoing.

    On November 1 2017, Wuhan, the capital city of the Province of Hubei, Peoples Republic of China was designated a Creative City by  UNESCO, in the field of Design. Wuhan became China’s fourth so designated, the others being Shanghai, Beijing and Shenzhen.

    Bridges built in Wuhan have won many international awards including awards for protecting the environment while constructing.

    Wuhan is a city of almost 11 million people(10.76 million), but now they and their city are under lockdown with several travel advisories about the place being issued  (Wuhan was placed under effective quarantine on January 23 2020).

    And as has come to be known, it is all because of a “strange pneumonia” outbreak of unknown causes detected in that otherwise very beautiful city.

    That pneumonia of unknown cause, popularly referred to as coronavirus was first declared to be a Public Health Emergency of International Concern by the WHO on 30 January 2020. On 11 February 2020, Dr Tedros Ghebrejesus , Director- General of the WHO announced that the new respiratory disease had been given a name: COVID-19. The coronavirus disease was first reported to the WHO Country Office in China on 31 December 2019.

    Bishop Emmah Isong, the national publicity secretary of PFN (Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria) finished his studies years back as the best graduating student of Banking & Finance in his set.

    But he answered a call to ministry and is today the presiding Bishop of Christian Central Chapel International, CCCI in Calabar.

    His wife is a Magistrate. During his crossover service to 2020, this Bishop released fifty eight prophecies for this year, and it is the 17th prophecy (concerning what is, today, Covid-19) that has now been proven beyond a doubt!

    Of course, from this discourse it can be seen that as at December 2019 the disease had not even been given a name.

    When the prophecy was made, the ailment was ONLY JUST BEING REPORTED, to a country office in China; not even at the WHO Headquarters, and the Nigerian Bishop was most definitely not privy to the meeting of report.

    Here is what Bishop Emmah Isong said, “Maintain a high level of public hygiene this year so as to escape a new but dangerous flu which is causing constant sneezing and redness of the face.

    It is affecting Nigeria…”.  It could be that a few who heard this at the time shrugged it of, as one of those ‘things’ like Ebola, which Nigeria would certainly be exempted from, again.

    It was not until February 25 2020 that Mike Ryan, executive director, Health Emergencies Programme of WHO  increased the Covid-19 risk assessment to very high on a global level.

    Read Also: Coronavirus: Scientists say they have made successful vaccine tests on mice

    That was the same day that Nigeria’s Federal Ministry of Health  confirmed a Covid-19 case in Lagos( for the records, it was brought into Nigeria by an Italian man who flew in from Milan to Lagos, Nigeria).

    That discovery in Lagos, a city  of 21 million people ( conservatively) must have been a factor in the WHO increase in risk assessment. In fact, the risk was raised to the highest level of alert.

    However, of note here is that the discovery and report of the Nigerian case came on February 25- two clear months after the prophecy! With uncanny accuracy did Bishop Isong get this one. ( Note also that this was the first reported case of coronavirus disease in sub- Saharan Africa, and made it 49 countries with cases of the disease).

    Now, even  as research intensifies in many places of the world in search of a vaccine, and ultimately a cure for this deadly disease ( days back the WHO classified it as a pandemic), I pray that the city of Wuhan experiences recovery, and regrowth.

    I would also urge the Chinese authorities to end forthwith the official destruction of even registered churches, and halt the escalating religious persecution, and arbitrary arrest of pastors and Imams of the Moslem faith.

    That beautiful city of Wuhan, now being ravaged and destroyed by disease is a great city; one that is classified as a Beta world city by the Globalization and World Cities Research Network.

    One thing of course that is only to be expected of people is  that in spite of the spot- on fulfilment of the prophecy about Covid-19 ; astonishing even to me this writer, not a few are still cynical, even dismissive of this prophecy.

    To those people I say, they have nothing to fear. His being a Christian prophet, then Bishop Emmah Isong has a standard gauge upon which he can immediately be weighed. His Bible.

    You see, the Bible says- the foolish prophets see false visions, and their predictions don’t come true (Ezekiel 13:6). It also says- thus says the Lord God: Woe to the foolish prophets, who follow their own spirit and have seen nothing (Ezekiel 13:3).

    It is clear then that WOE is the portion of any lying prophet. Clearly too, Bishop Isong has proven his mettle; and that for all to see.

    ( He also says for cure, we are covered in the blood of Jesus).For me, I shall continue in the words of the Bishop’s prophecy, which have immediate practical application: Maintain a high level of public hygiene this year so as to escape a new but dangerous flu. I suggest you do, too!

    Twitter @mikky_princess

  • Woman arrested for marrying two husbands…..For what?!!!

    Woman arrested for marrying two husbands…..For what?!!!

    By Mikky Attah

    The above story brought Nigeria to continental notice, with several other African nations sending the news across to their citizens.

    The caption on the website GhanaCelebrities.com reads: Nigerian Woman Arrested for being married to 2 men even though men can marry 4 wives (the story was written by a man, Nii Smiley Byte!). Looking at Face Of Malawi, the caption is – Nigerian woman arrested for marrying 2 husbands.

    Well, the short story is that the elderly husband of a young woman in Kano state fell gravely ill and he was taken away to a village for treatment.

    After a long time and presuming the man dead, the woman    (who today is below 40) went ahead and married another suitor whom she now has children for.

    Her ‘first’ husband, upon his return, and upon discovering that his ‘wife’ had gotten another husband, promptly got her arrested and detained.

    The big question now is WHY? It is simply one outcome of zoning in on ‘male privilege’, allowing men 2 or more wives- but allowing just one husband as the portion of women! However, that’s not the focus of this piece; the Kano woman’s degrading, unlawful detention is.

    In the first instance the woman only ‘accidentally’ married a second husband. She didn’t intentionally set out to have 2 husbands! And now that it has happened, why is it not being treated as ‘unintentional polygamy’? Or, okay then,  as deliberate polygamy?

    Why is hers being handled as a case of a heinous crime,  worthy of arrest and detention? Even if she were to be accused of bigamy; that will still have to be proven, as every Nigerian is presumed innocent until otherwise proven guilty.

    GhanaCelebrities further wrote: ‘the troubling thing is if it was a man who married 2 women- there would be no case.’ (The story is also in GhanaWeb).

    Clearly, this woman is being persecuted not because she has an extra spouse; no, it’s simply BECAUSE SHE IS A WOMAN! And that is totally unjust.

    There is a further painful part to all this is- that the woman is now languishing in detention WITHOUT EVEN BEING CHARGED FOR ANY OFFENCE!

    The law enforcement agents, the Kano Hisbah Corps (Shariah Police) have not established any case against the woman in question.  While they take their time to look for evidence against her, the hapless woman remains in detention.

    Now, FIDA needs to move urgently for this woman, Hauwa Ali of Kumbotso LGA, Kano State. And in fact even after her case, they need to look at the possibility of enforcing the suggestion of the beautiful, Benue- born Nollywood star Susan Patrick. She is saying categorically that women should be allowed to marry 2 husbands!

    Twitter – @mikky_princess

  • Nigerians: there is an advantage to this Coronavirus – PMB will now stick around more!

    Nigerians: there is an advantage to this Coronavirus – PMB will now stick around more!

    By Mikky Attah

    Of a truth, President Muhammadu Buhari, PMB’s numerous foreign trips have constantly attracted comments from Nigerians.

    Perhaps we should close our borders on Buhari not just rice alone-bigboyview 2019 (after the border closure by the Buhari administration).

    Must he attend every conference?.. Is Buhari a travel blogger? @timiakegbejo

    Someone should hide Baba’s passport- Adamu Hayatou.

    The national chairman of the ruling All Progressives Congress APC, Comrade Adams Oshiomhole has chided critics of PMBs jaunts, insisting (correctly) that former President Obasanjo travelled abroad more  frequently than PMB, while in office. Bashir Ahmad, PA to PMB on New Media (@BashirAhmaad) effectively says that with several commitments extracted from many nations, the presidential trips are beneficial.

    Comrade Oshiomhole is quite right on Chief Obasanjo, OBJ, who travelled to 97 countries in his 8 years in office, causing the late social crusader and legal titan Gani Fawehinmi (who had fought  the military for many years until Nigeria was returned to democratic governance) to stamp his foot down on the matter. He sued OBJ to court asking him to justify his frequent foreign tours!

    However at this time there is an expectation, created in the minds of Nigerians of greater prudence, since the PMB administration pledged to cut the cost of governance. It thus becomes perplexing then, when for instance in 4 foreign trips over 3 months at the end of 2019, PMB travelled with a retinue of officials that included an astonishing 12 state Governors, as well as several ministers and cabinet members each trip- including his (president’s) and other’s security, protocol, media and personal aides! Needless to say, the cost of each trip is staggering.

    Aside the frequency, the timing of PMBs foreign trips have raised eyebrows such that one of the national dailies (The Punch) in one editorial stated: “in moments of national crisis, he (Mr Buhari) abandons his duty post in preference for foreign trips.”

    Additionally, it must be pointed out that even concerning foreign medical trips, PMB has exceeded the record of the late President Yar’Adua for time spent away from the country on medical grounds. The late Yar’Adua spent 109 days in 2 and half years for medicals; bringing about a very rare Nigerian constitutional amendment. But now PMB has spent 172 days in 2 years abroad on medical grounds. And while OBJ before him made a record 193 trips to 97 countries in 8 years, PMB could almost double that record, having visited 40 countries in 50 months, over 51 foreign trips.

    In all this, PMB has remained unmoved by the dismay expressed by a lot of Nigerians over his frequent tours. President Buhari travels abroad for such varied conferences as those on Climate Change (never done at home!), or even for international conferences on “Future Investments”. In the first 3 years of the administration, the President was abroad for a total of 404 days- equivalent to more than one year outside the country. And suddenly now, the world is faced with – Corona Virus, Covid 19!  And then, the global media has announced the obvious: African countries are ill-prepared to handle such a deadly pandemic. But then – scientists have discovered, to our divine benefit that the heat and humidity of tropical Africa is deadly to Covid. And voila- PMB hasn’t jetted out in the last couple of weeks, nor will he jet out in a hurry as was the case, formerly. Our President will stay around a while, and address our domestic issues because: the fear of Covid is the beginning of wisdom. So, Viva Corona!

    • The Opinion Expressed In This Column Is Not The Opinion Of This Publication.
  • Two who are dearly departed – Vincent Chukwuemeka Ike & Prince Osita Ike

    Two who are dearly departed – Vincent Chukwuemeka Ike & Prince Osita Ike

    Mikky Attah

     

    Whatever it will take, just let the only grandson be at Chukwuemeka Ike’s funeral

     

    IT just seems as if I’ve known Prince Osita Ike practically all my life. I remember that the very first time I got to know him, our host also let on that Prince Osita was the famous writer, Vincent Chukwuemeka Ike’s son. I turned to Prince:  So your Dad is TOADS FOR SUPPER?!

    He smiled broadly and chuckled; his dimpled and infectious laugh got all of us there laughing- and thus he became my “ big brother for life”.

    Prince Osita Ike never, ever acted like the privileged offspring of accomplished parents. His mother, Professor Bimpe Ike is a foremost library scientist and was National coordinator, National Documentation & Information Centre for Science and Technology. She was once the Dean, Students’ Affairs, Abubakar Tafawa Balewa University, Bauchi. She met the late wordsmith who was to become her husband at the University College, Ibadan. Famous in her own right ( she’s  listed in Africa’s Who is Who), she also had famous year-mates at college, like the former Secretary-General of the Commonwealth, Emeka Anyaoku.

    Prince Osita Ike was very interested in both literary and creative arts. His company, Oyster St Iyke Ltd was a media and public relations consultancy, but Prince was a real arts promoter. He was also very concerned about the less privileged, and was always available for charity events that would be beneficial to some disadvantaged sectors of people in society.

    The perfect gentleman; nice to a fault, Prince Osita was also the classic: tall, dark  and handsome! Such endowments are rarely unaccompanied by large doses of pomposity- by the time you throw in distinguished parents, then you would expect to have a really arrogant fellow!  Okay then; at the very least, if he wasn’t proud then maybe he could have been a bit stuffy; rather boring- a nerd! No, Prince seemed to have been blessed with just the right combination of everything, and he was very funny, and loved to tease people!

    Professionally, Prince was sort of  like the link to all major events and programmes in Lagos, and he always made sure he got all his acquaintances on board. Even so, picking and dropping me and others to, and from event venues was non- negotiable, once he had taken you under his wings. Now, a lot of the stuff we did then was voluntary, but on the occasions where events were paid for- Prince diligently ensured that we all got our money. Prince handled government projects, private initiatives, UNICEF programmes, name it, he handled it; very well too.

    If Nigeria was the kind  of country that recognised and rewarded merit, or talent, Prince Osita Ike was the sort of person any president would want as Minister of the Interior, or of Arts & Culture or even Tourism. He would have fitted right in, in International affairs and Diplomacy.

    On that level, I  felt a sense of kinship with him because I have ‘academic ‘ parents just like he had. They (our parents) saw Nigeria slide downhill from meritocracy to man- know- man style. But after our folks had benefited from the good before it all went bad, they simply remained in their comfort zone, leaving the next generation to ‘find their own way’. But it is rare for brilliance or diligence alone to be the deciding factor for appointments or employment in Nigeria. It would still take one extra- one influential person putting in a word, for things to get done. Strangely, these academic types seem to frequently believe that “charity begins outside”!

    I admired Prince Osita because he never expected his parents to put in a word to ANYONE on his behalf. I, on the other hand grew very bitter over what I termed my “ unluckiest, lucky state”. But as time went on and with new found faith in God, I came to realise one truth in life- that help comes from Above. However, it is still hard for me to understand how those influential folks could not possibly have made their one son known to their state governor; who would gladly have given Prince a portfolio to manage.  God knows Prince Osita would have performed fantastically.

    For about a decade, we, Prince and I were out of touch, and I am not on Facebook where his passing on was loudly announced, and that was how I completely missed that piece of information.

    I last saw him in 2011 at a state anniversary celebration in Akwa Ibom. I know he was constantly sniffing and clearing his nose, but I never imagined that a massive asthma attack would lead to his sudden death 5 years later.  And I would only get to hear of it this January. Now I know I’ve got to be a lot more active on social media…

    Prince Osita was very proud of his wife, a Bini Princess, when he got married. He spoke glowingly of her in private and even in the press. I never met her myself- but I am gutted by all I have read and heard- contributing to the painful demise of Prof Chukwuemeka Ike; the person the BBC described as “the Nigerian king who served Toads for Supper”.

    It is saddening to think of Prince Osita even having a marriage breakdown. Prince comes from a loving family and is a wonderful and considerate person himself. It all seems  to buttress the saying out there that the nice guys appear to always have horrible things happening to them. What it means too is that Prince must have been in agonies, longing for his son . The humble, genial Osita Ike I know would’ve been a loving,  caring husband and father; to have been deprived of both sources must have been awful not only for him, but for his precious parents. If only he had sued for a proper divorce, maybe then his estranged wife would have been compelled by the courts to at least grant visitation/ holiday rights. Imagine, depriving people of their only son/ only grandson; just imagine the impact on them!

    I read a lot of people saying all sorts of unkind things on social media in reaction to the death of Chukwuemeka Ike. A number of people said things like- that’s why it’s best to marry ‘your own people ‘. If Prince Osita had not married the Bini Princess, Chukwuemeka Ike would not have been deprived of his grandson etc. This is annoying. In any case which is even Prince Osita’s ‘kind’? None of those writing this stopped for one moment to think, and see that Prince Osita himself is of a Yoruba mother and Ibo father!

    And again, for the records, Prince  actually ‘became’ an only child after an earlier tragedy. I do remember him telling me that they  were two brothers  before, but one of them died( I think he said during the Nigerian civil war).

    Let me end by appealing to anyone who knows those involved in keeping Chukwuemeka Ike Jnr away, to have some human sympathy for the grieving grandmother and do whatever it will take to have him at the funeral of his erudite grandfather.

     

    Twitter @mikky_princess

  • Domestic Abuse: men and women can be victims

    Mikky Attah

     

    My goodness gracious! A whole lot has happened in the interval between writing Part 2 on this subject and now.

     

    Maryam Sanda who killed her husband in 2017 for receiving a love message on his phone, from a lady, was sentenced to death by hanging; January 27, 2020 in Abuja. And then, in what seems to be a dark coincidence, a teenage ‘housewife’, 17- year old Rabi Rabi’u allegedly stabbed her sleeping husband to death in Katsina, that same morning; in the small hours . So because of these 2, and others I rightly assume are occurring but not reported ( this confirmed by DSP Abimbola Oyeyemi of the Ogun State Police Command who says there’s not one single report of spousal abuse by a husband) ; I shall now modify this discussion by applying it across the sexes , as victims. However, because of the frequency of occurrence, I do beg to lay emphasis on female victims of domestic abuse; particularly, on wives.

    When Udy Umondak took on Domestic Violence on her TV show , she interviewed a former victim in the course of the show. That day  I shuddered, watching as a tall, elegant and articulate woman spoke of her experience. So many things went through my mind.-You mean a man, her own husband would want to hit, let alone brutalise such a delicate creature? You mean, after she fell pregnant the violence continued; even escalated ?

    The woman gave her actual name, which I will not mention here- you mean that a man would defiantly attack someone from such a notable family?! What if it had been, say, her brother; would this same husband have dared attack any male member of her family? My mind kept racing.

    The woman spoke of how the attacks on her became more brutal, and more frequent. She told how her husband had repeatedly kicked her stomach when she was pregnant. Well, you would have thought that, that day she would finally  “see sense “. Very very far coming it was; I’m afraid to say! The woman said she stayed on for an unbelievably long period, something like 11 years, before she finally left.

    Here are some ( terribly silly) reasons given by victims of domestic abuse for tolerating the criminality; and the  physical and emotional pain inflicted upon them. Yes, I’ve said it. Because someone’s got to- Silly Reasons. And in countering every one of those reasons here; I am doing this purely so that some woman, some abused husband somewhere, would receive sense.

    The timeless reason given  for remaining in an abusive marriage is to avoid the shame of a breakup. This is especially true in Nigeria where marriages are huge and elaborate with very few exceptions. This is even so for penniless couples who go a- borrowing to pay for their lavish ceremonies.  So then the question those victims ask is- how will I face the shame of this marriage crashing? But the question they need to ask themselves is- must one die, to be married?

    NO, I say, you cannot be dead, and be married.

    Many others claim that they would change him, (or her). That he/she is actually a nice person etc etc. Well, it is only the Holy Spirit of God that can cause the transformation of an adult. LADIES!! Hear this your beauty, charm, sex appeal or whatever WILL NOT CHANGE a violent man !

    To Be Continued.

    Twitter @mikky_princess

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  • On domestic abuse (Part 2)

    By Mikky Attah

    Many especially in Nigeria are pressurised, even threatened by their parents to remain in domestic abuse situations.

    It was sad to find, without doing any research, another incident of death by domestic abuse this past week. As a matter of fact the murder occurred the very Sunday that the Part 1 of this was published. Olanrewaju Bamidele beat, then stabbed his wife Adenike  to death on January 19 2020 and was arrested the same day. Let me quote a part of the police statement issued the following day- “Preliminary investigation revealed that the suspect was fond of beating his wife from time to time, and after beating the woman to death he was about to bury the corpse secretly when the deceased’s children , who saw him digging a grave by the side of his house, alerted the neighbours who rushed to the scene and held him down before the arrival of the police. “

    In all this, there are some serious things to note about the fate of these spouse killers. I have heard from relatives of several victims that as the men are beating their wives, they frequently taunt them saying – I  will kill you and nothing will happen to me. And they know what they are talking about.

    Stella Damasus of Nollywood has told of how she has attended the funeral of  a friend whose husband battered her to death. The said husband had often boasted that he would kill her and nothing would happen to him. His dead wife was indeed laid to rest, and the man has since remarried. Take for example too, Pastor Ezehiri, the 2017 Christmas Day wife- killer. As at December 2017 he was reported to be at large. I’ve searched all over the internet and can find no report of his capture. Not just that but The Lords Chosen church has not publicly derobed the pastor.

    In the celebrated case of the banker Titi, for whom women have marched many times nationwide  to ask for justice after her brutal murder, the man in question Akolade Arowolo is still in prison custody 6 years after sentencing. The late Titilayo was hacked to death on Friday June 24 2011; even one of her eyeballs was brutally gauged out. Her husband in his defense said all her wounds were self- inflicted. But the coroner at the trial said that he discovered at least 76 stab wounds resulting from tremendous force on her heart, lungs, liver and other parts of her body . He said, and I quote, “all these injuries could not have been self- inflicted. “ It turns out that the killing was so gory that the stomach was completely torn open. On Friday February 21 2014 Justice Lateefat Okunnu of the Ikeja High Court sentenced Arowolo to death by hanging.

    Now the father  of the deceased, George Oyakhire  told the court ,“ when I told Titilayo to report her husband to a police station, she said: God will take control “.

    He also told the court that his daughter did not live continuously with her husband who always beat her and even threatened to throw her down from their storey building apartment.

    But what is the fate of this husband?  Everything is pointing in the direction of his quick release, and freedom.  In 2017 a committee on prerogative of mercy visited his prison and he was the spokesman, who eloquently begged for mercy, even after pleading not guilty. Essentially NOTHING HAPPENS to these wife killers.  In fact, if you watch the Discovery Channel like I do, you will see countless ,true cases of men murdering their successive wives before they are detected. And then they would only admit to killing the last 2!!

    When, oh when will these women wise up?

    I have watched one of them on Udy Umondak’s interview programme The Udy Factor.

    Victims fear mockery if they should leave their marriages.  Many especially in Nigeria are pressurised, even threatened by their parents to remain in domestic abuse situations. A lot of pastors paint divorce as if it were a crime.  And so under the cloak of religion, merciless beatings, and killings are going on , without any consequences, just like the perpetrators boast.

    In fact it even appears that Arowolo is the unlucky one, spending time as he is doing, in prison. He was a former youth pastor of the Foursquare Gospel church and was a jobless graduate ,father of one as at the time of his arrest. He is playing the religious card to the hilt, in order to be discharged and acquitted.  A faith- based prison NGO has declared him a role model, and he carried his Bible along to all his court proceedings. To crown everything, he says his wife’s death is spiritual- something like, oh she developed a spiritual problem and slaughtered herself ! To be continued.  Twitter mikky_princess

  • Six belief-shaking predictions for 2020

    By Mikky Attah

    • Number 1: Trump will win election, again

    The Princess Files returns after a short break, and I thank you for staying with this space. Yes, welcome to 2020. I wish my reader plenty joy, and much love. 

    At the very onset of 2020, I scanned through the leading, or at least the most widely publicised prophecies but found them largely vague. Many of them were also downright predictable. In other climes, what obtains are predictions, not prophecies; and that is just what I am going to do here. It is true, indeed that predictions can go wrong.  It had been predicted that by 2020, people would be making flights to Pluto, we would have apes as chauffeurs and people would deploy nanobots as robots. None of these has happened. But at least people made intelligent guesses. Mine will be belief- upturning projections , and all reactions and comments are welcome. Of the six though, there will be one exception – the prophecy of Father Ejike Mbaka will be relayed, as is. With reasons.

    The charismatic Catholic Priest and Spiritual Director of the Adoration Ministry Nigeria has given a precise, albeit shocking prophecy on Imo State (he himself operates from Enugu State). In his crossover service, Rev Fr Ejike Mbaka prophesied that Sen Hope Uzodinma, the APC gubernatorial candidate in the last election will become governor of Imo State in 2020! How that will happen, Fr Mbaka admits he doesn’t know.

    Now Fr Mbaka stands out among the wolf- pack of false prophets that Nigeria is replete with. In the run-up to the 2015 general election, he alone prophesied Muhammadu Buhari’s victory. It was unthinkable before then for an incumbent to lose in Nigeria.  “Prophecies” of the re-election of the then president, Goodluck Jonathan were strident at the time; ringing out like a foregone conclusion. I vividly recall the words of one Apostle Johnson Suleiman who announced repeatedly that GOD TOLD HIM that Dr Jonathan would win re-election.

    Is why one would want to pay attention to Fr Mbaka. However, Imo State Governor Emeka Ihedioha reportedly says he is not bothered by Fr Mbaka’s prophecies. And so far, all the courts have upheld Governor Ihedioha’s victory. It should be noted that Sen Hope Uzodinma came a distant fourth in the March 2019 elections. Notwithstanding I will say it; when Father Mbaka talks, I LISTEN.

    Next: ‘Naira Marley is a Demon- Nigerian Pastor reveals in New Year Prophecy’. This headline came about as a result of a Tweet by the cleric in question, which went – “In 2020, God told me Naira Marley is a Demon-, he is Satanic and should repent before it’s too late.”

    I don’t know about the Naira guy being a demon. What is obvious though is his thumbing his nose at the EFCC over his evident criminality.  The founder of the ‘Marlians’ in Nigeria ended 2019 floating his own record label (Marlian Records, no less) complete with 4 new sign-ons ! A concert, Marlian Fest also took place all the while that the singer was out on bail, after an 11 count charge by the EFCC, including cybercrime.

    When Naira Marley appeared in court in October 2019, a member of his defence counsel, Taiwo Oreagba pleaded with the presiding judge that the singer was a first tine offender. The lawyer lied. In fact, after being granted bail, the singer posted an online video boasting that he had been arrested 124 times in England. In 2014, the singer (real name Azeez Fashola) was declared wanted by the London  Borough of Lewisham  for robbery and sexual assault. Therefore my proposed prediction that the singer will go to jail this year appears to be a mirage, the way things are going. As an aside, the EFCC boss Magu has said that his Commission will arrest more fraudsters in 2020. Dimming my prediction even further.

    P-Square Together Again? A social media commentator, who incidentally is a one- time presidential media aide made a recent post on social media saying money and women caused P-Square’s breakup. The man Reno Omokri says money and women can separate even twins, and this I will not dispute. But for the case of Peter and Paul Okoye (P-Square )which he cites ,their breakup as far as I’m concerned was an event waiting to happen. And a new post saying one of the twins has revealed their reunion  should simply be dismissed as nonsense.

    You see, even if the duo were to have played for 10 years for free; even if they had lived single and celibate- they still would have gone their separate ways in the end. Bands and musical groups, even of siblings ; even of twins simply do not have that magical quality called Staying Power. Check any group you know or have known-  it has never been,’ till death do us part’,  for band members.  I am even pleasantly surprised that P-Square lasted as long as they did (2003-2017). Unfortunately  they , musical groups are all blighted with ephemerality.  Any forced comeback will not last. Quote me on this.

    The Fate of Vision 2020- Vision 20.20.20 as is its expanded form was envisaged as the programme to make Nigeria one of the world’s 20 economic power houses by 2020. At the close of 2019, Nigeria was unrivalled as the Poverty Capital of the World!

    Vision 2020 will just be conscripted to the dustbin, a lot of people believe; in fact, that’s the case already , they say. I believe in the course of 2020 ANOTHER development plan will be hyped as replacement to Vision 2020 and widely publicised ; probably one of the existing catch-phrase programmes (NEEDS, SEEDS). Will it be followed through? Nope. It won’t.  And sadly, Nigerians will be the worse for it all.

    Boko Haram insurgency ending in 2020? Did ANYONE prophecy that?!! No, I just made it up! It’s not going to happen, even though it should.

    American Presidential Election – Recall that in 2016, Pastor T.B Joshua, founder of the Synagogue Church of All Nations ‘prophesied’ how he saw ‘a woman ‘ in the White House . He went further to clarify that the woman was Hillary Clinton!

    Now, prophets and pundits alike have come again.

    In all this, may I request this one thing: that you remember that you saw it here, as early as January 2020 that I said that on Tuesday November 3, 2020 President Donald Trump shall win the presidential election.  Again.

    Seasons greetings! Twitter @mikky_princess

  • World AIDS Day

    Mikky Attah

    In a nutshell, World AIDS Day, December 1 is commemorated as an opportunity to highlight the work of eliminating HIV/AIDS.

    The current vision in the world today is to have zero new HIV infections.  Also, there must be zero discrimination, and the target is also zero AIDS- related deaths.

    In support of these, I devote a full reproduction of the message of the Executive Director of UNAIDS in today’s column. UNAIDS is the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, and it is headed by Engr Winnie Byanyima as Executive Director.   She was appointed in August 2019. Winnie Byanyima is an aeronautical engineer and activist from Uganda. She is also the Under-Secretary-General of the UN.

    Her message:

    I believe in communities.  Communities make change happen.

    Communities are the best hope for ending AIDS because communities have fought against HIV right from the beginning!

    As the epidemic raged through our countries, cities, villages, women held communities together and bore the higher burden of care for their families.

    For far too long we have taken their volunteerism for granted.

    In the face of adversity, communities of gay men, sex workers and people who use drugs have organized themselves to claim their right to health as equal citizens.

    So, we know that communities have proved their worth. There is no debate there.

    Without communities, 24 million people would not be on treatment today. Without communities led by women living with and affected by HIV, we would not be close to ending new HIV infections among children, raising orphans and caring for the sick.

    Twenty-five years ago, a Burundi woman called Jeanne was the first person to disclose that she was living with HIV. Today, Jeanne is holding leaders accountable and fighting for the right to health care.

    Pioneers like Jeanne have been joined by younger leaders, like 20-year-old Yana, who was born with HIV in Ukraine. Yana founded Teenergizer, a group bringing together young people across eastern Europe. In a world where power resides with old men, she wants her peers to have a voice and a choice.

    Consider Fiacre. He lives in Central African Republic, displaced by conflict along with thousands of others. Fiacre cycles to a clinic, crossing barriers and checkpoints to collect antiretroviral medicines for him and members of a group he belongs to. Without this support, each person would have to make the dangerous journey on their own. Simply amazing.

    As you can see, communities make the difference all over the world.

    However, the way communities are being taken for granted has to change.

    On World AIDS Day, UNAIDS salutes the achievements of activists and communities in the struggle against HIV. We remember and we honour all those whom we have lost along the way. Activists challenged the silence and brought life-saving services to their communities. But the countless contributions by women and many others can never replace the responsibility of governments.

    Let me remind you, governments committed to at least 30% of HIV services being community-led.

    They also agreed that 6% of all HIV funding go to community mobilization, promoting human rights and changing harmful laws that act as barriers to ending AIDS.

    Let’s be clear, defending human rights and challenging discrimination, criminalization and stigma is risky work today.

    So, we call on governments to open a space so that activists can do the work they do best.

    With communities in the lead and governments living up to their promises, we will end AIDS.

    UNAIDS

    The Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) leads and inspires the world to achieve its shared vision of zero new HIV infections, zero discrimination and zero AIDS related deaths. UNAIDS unites the efforts of 11 UN organizations—UNHCR, UNICEF, WFP, UNDP, UNFPA, UNODC, UN Women, ILO, UNESCO, WHO and the World Bank—and works closely with global and national partners towards ending the AIDS epidemic by 2030 as part of the Sustainable Development Goals.

    Twitter @mikky_princess