Olugbenga Jagun, a nutritionist at the University of Abuja Teaching Hospital ( UATH), Gwagalada, has said that jute leaf known as ‘Ewedu’ can prevent cancer and coronary diseases due to its richness in antioxidants and phytochemicals.
Jagun said this in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Saturday in Abuja.
The jute leaf is one of the common African leafy vegetables cultivated in gardens and farms for home use.
He said that “Dieticians called it a pharmacy on your plate due to the numerous nutritional-health benefits.
“It is a good source of vitamins and mineral elements such as calcium, potassium, iron, vitamin C, B, K, Folic acid.
“These vitamins and mineral elements have a great therapeutic effects on our body such as the lowering of blood pressure and neural tube defects in pregnant women.
“It is rich in both essential and non-essential amino acid, example is Lysine. ”
He added that it also helps to prevent constipation due to the presence of fibre in it, making it a natural laxative.
Jagun also said the plant could be ideal in the case of obesity because of its almost no-fat and low cholesterol level.
“The leaf is a good anti-anemic which prevents anaemia due to high iron content and also facilitates the production of red blood cells.
“Excellent and appropriate food for the elderly because of its calcifying action, that is the supply of calcium,” he said.
Jagun advised Nigerians to consume the leaf due to its numerous health benefits.
NAN reports that Jute leaf is popularly called Ewedu among the Yoruba, ahingbara in Igbo and Rama in Hausa.
Olugbenga Jagun, a nutritionist at the University of Abuja Teaching Hospital ( UATH), Gwagalada, has said that jute leaf known as ‘Ewedu’ can prevent cancer and coronary diseases due to its richness in antioxidants and phytochemicals.
Jagun said this in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Saturday in Abuja.
The jute leaf is one of the common African leafy vegetables cultivated in gardens and farms for home use.
He said that “Dieticians called it a pharmacy on your plate due to the numerous nutritional-health benefits.
“It is a good source of vitamins and mineral elements such as calcium, potassium, iron, vitamin C, B, K, Folic acid.
“These vitamins and mineral elements have a great therapeutic effects on our body such as the lowering of blood pressure and neural tube defects in pregnant women.
“It is rich in both essential and non-essential amino acid, example is Lysine. ”
He added that it also helps to prevent constipation due to the presence of fibre in it, making it a natural laxative.
Jagun also said the plant could be ideal in the case of obesity because of its almost no-fat and low cholesterol level.
“The leaf is a good anti-anemic which prevents anaemia due to high iron content and also facilitates the production of red blood cells.
“Excellent and appropriate food for the elderly because of its calcifying action, that is the supply of calcium,” he said.
Jagun advised Nigerians to consume the leaf due to its numerous health benefits.
NAN reports that Jute leaf is popularly called Ewedu among the Yoruba, ahingbara in Igbo and Rama in Hausa.
Adamawa Governor Mohammed Jibrilla Bindow finally fell to Peoples Democratic Party (PDP)’s Umaru Fintiri on Friday at the end of the supplementary poll.
Bindow’s ouster was evident immediately after the March 9 election when Fintiri went ahead of him by 32,467 votes.
The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) had declared the election inconclusive only because Fintiri’s 32,467 margin of lead was smaller than the number of cancelled votes- 40,948.
Fintri won at the 44 polling units in 14 LGAs where the supplementary poll held.
While Fintiri got 9,081 in the rerun to raise his 367,471 in the main election to 375, 552, Bindow could only get 1,391 in the rerun to improve his 334,995 votes to 336,386.
Here are seven main reasons why the sitting governor was defeated:
1. Fintiri’s popularity: When Fintiri got the PDP governorship ticket last year, many also expected he could stage an upset. “I knew that Bindow would have a fight in his hands the instant Fintiri got the nomination of his party last year. Fintiri was PDP’s best choice if the mission was to defeat Bindow,” Andah Ibrahim, a political analyst, said.
Fintiri achieved his popularity with Adamawa people when he rose from being Speaker of the House of Assembly to become acting governor in 2014 between when former Governor Murtala Nyako was impeached and Nyako’s deputy was made governor following a court process.
In between the times, Fintiri reigned as acting governor for less than three months. But he acquainted himself as an action governor with a heart for workers’ welfare.
A good number of his 375,000 votes in the just concluded election came from those who want a repeat performance of the ‘ATM governor’, as he became known.
2. Atiku’s factor: Bindow was also undone by the presidential candidate of the PDP in the 2019 election, Atiku Abubakar, a son of the soil. His people who, in 1999, voted for him as Governor became he became Vice President resisted the otherwise strong wind that blow across the Northeast and Northwest based on President Muhammadu Buhari’s cult-like followership.
Atiku polled 412, 266 to defeat President Muhammadu Buhari with 377,488 votes in Adamawa during the presidential race to prove he is really the son of the soil. At the governorship poll, it was only normal for Adamawa residents to sustain the trend.
The Atiku factor in the presidential election appeared to have carried over to the governorship poll to add value to Fintiri’s quest. Bindow’s fallout with Atiku when the latter defected to the PDP also didn’t help matters at all.
3. PDP’s strong presence: The PDP has always been in power in Adamawa since 1999 until Bindow became governor during the Buhari tsunami that swept through the north-east. Incidentally, the governor and Atiku were in the same party in 2015.
But since they fell apart, Bindow became disadvantaged. Despite being out of power for four years, the PDP always remained a strong party across the state.
4. APC’s rancorous primaries: Another factor that worked against Bindow outside his own making has been the internal wrangling within his party. One form of conflict or the other might have existed within the APC but the most telling conflict erupted late last year around the question of who was to bear its flag in the 2019 governorship election.
Three aspirants were to battle for the party’s ticket in the primary of the party in October. The primary election came and went so it appeared but Bindow was declared winner. He was the only one of the three contenders who agreed that the primary election was duly conducted.
Ahmed Halilu, better known as Modi, a brother- in- law to
The Nigeria Optometric Association, Enugu State Chapter (NOAESC) have advised teenagers to shun activities that can damage their eyes including artificial eye lashes, mascara and tampering with eye lids.
The optometrists made the call during sensitization of students of some selected secondary schools in Enugu State on Thursday to educate them on the need to care for their eyes.
The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the theme for the programme is ‘The need to pay attention to childhood blindness and eye care services.’
NAN reports that the association visited Government Secondary School, Abakaliki Road, Enugu.
Dr. Gilbert Enechi, the team leader at the GSS, Enugu, said they focused on teenagers this year because they engaged in certain habits that could cause eye blindness and prevent them from attaining their goals in life.
Enechi, who is the Chief Optometrist, College of Medicine, University of Nigeria Teaching Hospital (UNTH), urged students to also stay away from frequent scratching of their eyes.
“As future leaders of tomorrow, these our young ones still have a long way to go in their career path and how far they will go depends largely on the perfect state of their eyes.
“Students engage in certain activities that can damage the eyes but which were often thought to have no effect on the eyes.
“Some of the practices involve reading while facing up, frequent scratching of the eyes, using of eye glasses not recommended, reading in a poorly lit environment and straining of the eyes.
“Others are the use of fireworks, knockouts and the application of foreign objects such as eye lashes, mascara and turning the eye lids inside out which causes allergies and eventually aggravate to eye defects.
“Eye defects common among students and teenagers are glaucoma, progenital cataract, crossed eyes, astynopia, astigmatism, short and long sightedness.” he said.
Dr. Enechi, therefore, said the easiest way to detect any of the eye defects was to make use of the visual acuity chart available to the school by standing six meters and closing one of the eyes.
The Chief Optometrist, therefore, said early detection and treatment would help prevent total blindness promising to offer students free eye care treatment.
“It will interest you to know that there are 500,000 cases of childhood blindness yearly and 60 per cent of them eventually die of the cause of blindness.”
Enechi also seized the opportunity to enjoin students to consider being Optometrists as a career and help cover the numerical gap of Optometrists that Nigeria needs to adequately cater for its citizens.
The principal of GSS, Mr Onyia Ifeanyi, appreciated NOESC for the initiative saying he was delighted that the world was beginning to shift attention to eye care needs of students and the young ones.
Onyia noted that with the sensitization, the notion that eye defects in young ones are hereditary and not caused by certain habits and behaviours would be corrected.
The Senior Prefect of the school, Miss Otoo Eva-Akunna said she was privileged to have been sensitized because she had thought that her frequent itching of the eyes were normal.
“My parents used to say it was because of the insect that entered my eyes a long time ago but with this sensitization, I now know there is the need for me to go for treatment.
“I need my eyes more now and I need to treat it before it deteriorates and cause more expenses in the form of surgery.” Miss Otoo said.
The sensitization programme taking place in the three senatorial district of Enugu State is part of the many activities lined up for the 2019 World Optometrist Week which began on March 26, 2019 and ends on March 30.
In 2013, Joy Egbe, 26, lost her aunt who was seven-month pregnant to indoor air pollution caused by fumes from generator — a signature product for every household in Nigeria due to the poor electricity supply.
That heartbroken experience forced Egbe to pay attention to the acrid emissions coming from millions of diesel and gasoline generators, fueling her fears of the stark reality that awaits Nigeria and the world, if the smoke continues to cloud the African breathing space, with more PM 2.5 particles pumped into the already polluted air.
“For the first time in my life, the reality of greenhouse gas emissions dawned on. Firstly, I started researching about indoor pollution,” said Egbe, a 300-level Geology student of the University of Benin. “But more importantly, it stirred up in me some forms of climate action advocacy. Even as I learned more, I became so concerned about the course that I began to speak out in support of climate action in my community. At a point, I started adjusting my diet to that of a vegetarian.”
With heavy reliance on fossil fuel as an energy source for Africans and much of nearly 200 million Nigerians, Egbe’s campaign to get people in some communities in Edo — in Nigeria’s oil-rich Niger Delta region — to stop its usage and contribution to global warming did not achieve much due to lack of better alternatives.
“People started asking me: if I stop using fossil fuel to cook, how do I cook? How do I stop using my generator when there is no light? Then I realized I can’t just be creating awareness without solving a problem,” said Egbe, whose drive to advance the course of a green economy led to her joining Nwasor Derick and Ikponmwoba Eloghosa in a 3-member team that co-founded New-Digit in 2018.
Joy Egbe while test-running her startup’s zero-emission product in Iguobo Community, Edo-Nigeria. The ‘Just Add Water’ component generates cooking gas and electricity from water and solar cells.
The startup’s zero-emission product uses solar cells and water to produce energy for hydrogen cooking gas and electricity. The capacity of the electricity generated could serve up to 10 households within a cluster.
“Since November 2018, several homes have been benefiting from the prototype of our product in a village in Edo, where our product’s testing is currently ongoing, ” Egbe said ahead of the product’s official launching, adding that “people are already placing an order for it.”
Egbe’s New-Digit was among the 15 cleantech businesses selected by the Nigeria Climate Innovation Centre (NCIC) for its 2018-2019 inaugural incubation program which aims to accelerate access to clean energy in Nigeria and ensure that green innovations move from the ideation phase to market entry and then scale up.
NCIC, which was established in August 2018 through a partnership between the Nigerian government and the World Bank Group, selected the 15 winning teams out of a pool of over 200 for the maiden edition of World Bank’s Climate Launchpad Competition, according to Centre’s CEO, Bankole Oloruntoba in an exclusive interview.
“There is always an economic impact to every social issue we face as an individual or a nation.” Oloruntoba continued, “if we begin to address the challenge of climate change from an economic perspective and not just as an NGO issue alone, then we begin to get to the root of the social problems attached to it and then solve them.”
Recently, the centre secured a grant funding partnership with All On — an off-grid energy impact investment company backed by Shell — to incubate the most innovative green ideas that were thrown up by the competition.
Among the young entrepreneurs whose ideas are currently being incubated through the Climate Launchpad program is AbdulKarim Mayere who founded N-Network. Like Egbe, he is equally troubled over the phenomenal proliferation of generating sets in Africa’s largest economy, though his own proffered-solution comes with a different approach. The idea pushed forward by 34-year-old Mayere is the evacuation of excess power produced through solar generation and the surplus generating sets by individual households, as well as Independent Power Projects (IPPs), to be transmitted to households and facilities where they are needed.
Through this idea, he believes the number of generators in neighborhoods can be reduced drastically. “Rather than add to the number of generators, a pair to pair electricity trading will enable neighbouring households to be able to trade electricity among themselves.”
“For instance, if House A is running a 100 kva generator, but all it’s consuming is 50 kva and there’s House B that’s running 50 kva but all it can consume is less than that 50 kva, what we do is to ask both houses to subscribe to our platform. That means House B don’t need to run that 50 kva generator because it can be accommodated within the 100 kva generated by House A,” Mayere adds. “Instead of running a 150 kva combined capacity of generators, the 100 kva generator by House A will serve consumers in both houses.”
With the ubiquitous generators, almost everyone in Nigeria is a power producer and a preponderance of the households generate more power than they can outrightly consume. In clustered neighborhoods, a building having six apartments for instance, could have each of the apartments producing its own power independently through a generator. The billowing smoke and the deafening noise typical to that of a production factory, oftentimes, would have already made the air go foul, leading to indoor pollution and the noise causing hearing impairment in some worse scenarios, before finally disappearing into the cloud to contribute its own proportion to global warming.
An estimated $14bn (N5trn), representing 50% of Nigeria’s 2018 budget is expended yearly by businesses to import and maintain fossil fuel-powered generator. This is against the 2015 commitment by Nigeria and 194 nations at the Conference of the Parties to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change to halt the increase in the global average temperature to well below 2°C, above pre-industrial levels, limiting it to 1.5°C. However, to the contrary, asides the generator’s worries, Nigeria’s position as Africa’s biggest oil producer makes her to top the list of the highest contributors to global warming on the continent.
While the halting of the multi-billion dollar generator’s importation business in Nigeria may not be anytime soon, due to the erratic power supply from the centralized grid — the biggest elephant in Nigeria’s economic room — Mayere’s work comes with a focus. It is to cut the emissions emanating from these agents of ‘slow death’ and reduce the cost of generating power by individual households, as well as the nuisance they breed in communities.
Using the northern state of Kaduna to test run the initiative before launching it in vast parts of Nigeria and West Africa, Mayere and members of his N-Network team are already working with five tertiary institutions and 20 hotel facilities. “They have been very positive about the idea, most especially as we’re helping them to reduce their power consumption and also help them get extra income from their independently generated power.” He noted that the startup is currently identifying the independent power producers and the potential consumers in the respective localities who will subscribe to the electricity trading chain.
AbdulKarim Mayere, Founder of N-Network. He hopes to reduce the acute generator’s emissions through his electricity trading chain.
According to the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC), only 100 KW of power is allowed to be distributed by an independent power producer and the N-Network is keeping it within that limit, albeit with a futuristic outlook to partner with the big power Distribution Companies (DisCos) and Generating Companies (GenCos) as network tends to grow bigger.
“In the future, through this plan, we hope to get more solar and other renewable technologies to be the only source of the power generation that would be traded,” says Mayere who bagged a PhD, Engineering in Renewable Energy from the University of Nottingham in 2011.
Juststandout Limited, also selected among startups with emerging innovations for the Climate Launchpad program is bringing to the table an eco-friendly E-waste management idea.
Co-founded by Joseph Inyang and wife, Owen, Juststandout has its work well cut out in two inextricably linked solutions: to drive down E-waste volume coming from used batteries, hence, helping Nigeria meet its target of reducing the carbon footprint by 50% by 2030, and also leverage on E-waste to bridge the Kilowatt divide that exists between Nigeria and the rest of the world.
The United Nations Industrial Development Organization (UNIDO) had estimated that about 1.1 million tonnes of E-waste — mostly PCs, air-conditioners, LCD-TVs, mobile phones, refrigerators — is generated in Nigeria annually. West Africa’s economic capital, Lagos contributes about 40% of the E-waste.
Meanwhile, there are growing concerns among environmental activists that the planned $80bn investment in Nuclear power plant’s development by the Nigerian government could further complicate waste management challenges for a nation that is still battling to manage its E-waste.
Speaking on his company’s work, Inyang stated that his team had fashioned out a waste collection system to gather used batteries from laptop and other equipment that have small cells. “We sort, recondition and use them to produce Power Packs between 8000mAmps to 24000mAmps and EV Packs (for larger energy storage).”
Most times, people tend to toss away old electronic devices that get damaged or just stop working, leaving the battery inside, but the company hopes to increase the collection rate of such used batteries. “We’re reaching out to religious houses to allow their facilities to be used as collection centres for the batteries,” Inyang stated.
For the Lithium-Ion (Li-Ion) batteries that defy reconditioning and repurposing, he said the company has a technology in place to recycle them and extract the Lithium, a valuable element in producing other forms of energy storage devices for small-scale and large-scale use.
In recent years, Nigeria’s solar companies had made a meaningful contribution to boost the off-grid power generation. Following the country’s target to generate 30% of her power from renewable energy by 2030, notwithstanding, not much indigenous solutions had come the way of improving the storage of energy generated from solar panels, now on the rise.
As part of efforts to address the energy storage issues, Juststandout is trying to ensure that through improved storage of energy produced by solar and other green sources, the transition of households and facilities away from heavy dependency on fossil fuels to clean energies can be fast-paced. This is expected to deepen electricity access, especially among rural locals and reduce energy poverty as renewables become a lot cheaper with time.
The company, according to Inyang had reached over 3,000 people to include clinics and other service-based institutions with its energy products and services.
“We call ourselves the ‘energy warriors’ because to us the power situation in Nigeria is a war that must be properly fought and won. And adequate energy storage by recycling and reconditioning used Lithium-Ion batteries is our best bet to leapfrog the Kilowatt divide, while we reduce our carbon footprint,” Inyang said.
As President Muhammadu Buhari promises to consolidate on fighting insecurity and reviving the economy during presentation of his Certificate of return, women like Zainab Muhammad from Zabarmari about 10 km away from Maiduguri, among numerous other voters queued despite threats of bomb blast and gunshots in Maiduguri, Borno State, to choose candidates they believe will bring an end to their sufferings.
My name is Zainab Muhammad I was born in Maiduguri. I moved to Zabarmari village when I got married to my husband, a farmer. We have 8 children. He sells our farm produce on market days while I use to make incense for sale at our village market.
On market days then, I make like N4, 000 or N5000 especially from new brides during wedding celebrations. Then the village was attacked, our grandmother was killed and set on fire, the market was set on fire.
We were forced to flee to Maiduguri. Everything changed. We had no home, no work or means of livelihood. My husband was depressed and sad and developed heart attack as a result and passed away shortly after the incident.
How long has it been since you fled the violence?
It is three and a half years now. We arrived Maiduguri and joined other people who have fled. With the help of some of my family members, we made shelter from iron sheets and planks. We sleep there with the children. The older ones during the day go to find domestic works. When they return at nights, they take turns sleeping two or three days from one family member house or another.
How have you been coping with the responsibilities of the family since you lost your home and your husband?
We are in a very difficult situation, we are suffering. They have stopped attending school because we cannot afford to pay. I sell awara (tofu) .They are the ones who go out to hawk so we can buy food from the sales they make.
The eldest has not completed secondary school education. The other boy has paid for WAEC but we couldn’t afford NECO. He stays with an uncle of the family but he also became victim and lost everything. Now we don’t know what to do about his education.
Do what you earn cover your needs?
No sometimes we go to neighbors for help. There are days we sleep without eating. Sometime, we eat once a day or twice. When everything goes well, we make like N200 or N300. That is after pooling all the profits from all snack items sold from the children. There are days we don’t make sales. We eat what is left with the children. We also borrow or collect items on loan from shops. That is how we survive.
What type of support would you need faced with all your challenges?
In the children education, hopefully the two elder ones who have completed secondary school, if they can proceed with their education that will be very helpful.
Did you go out to vote?
Yes
What motivated you to go out to vote despite the threat of attacks in the state?
We had to go out to cast our votes so we can choose a just leader who will wipe away our tears.
How has your role changed in managing the household after the death of your husband?
He did everything for us in the house. He provided for all our needs, except where I wished to contribute. Sometime, when the children cry especially the younger ones and I don’t have what to give them or console them.
I cry but I cannot cry in their presence it will make them cry the more. When I am alone in the room I cry. Now we have nothing our hope is with God.
Do you find support from family members and well- wishers?
No, we are all affected. Everyone is affected you don’t find many help in Maiduguri. Business, work, farming everything has been affected. Whom do you call for help when everybody is struggling on their own? You will have to even sympathise with our selves so you don’t want to burden others with your problem.
Dr Mary Kigho, an Oncologist, Universal Hospital, Benin has advised women to examine their breast frequently for early detection of breast cancer.
Kigho, who gave the advice in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Thursday in Benin, defined breast cancer as “a cancer that forms lumps in the cells of the breasts.”
She said that tests and procedures were the best methods to diagnose early breast cancer.
“Women should always examine their breasts to ascertain if there are lumps; they can also visit doctors to check their breasts and lymph nodes in their armpits.
“A Mammogram can also be used to detect if a patient has breast cancer.
“If breast cancer is detected early, it can be operated upon, but it is difficult to treat if detected late,” she said.
Kigho said the symptoms of the disease include, change in breast size or shape, a lump or area that feels thicker than the rest of the breast.
She also identified change in skin texture such as puckering or dimpling (like an orange skin) as another symptom of the disease.
Others are redness or rash on the skin or around the nipple; nipple becoming pulled and look different, breast pain, swelling in an armpit or around collarbone, according to her.
Kigho further urged women with such symptoms to visit doctors immediately, adding that “ early detection saves lives”
Bisola Anthony, a housewife in Ondo, south-west Nigeria got a news mention when she was reported to have allegedly used a stirring rod to assault her two-year-old daughter over her inability to properly recite numerals.
According to a Nigerian daily newspaper, cries from Bisola’s apartment prompted neighbours who rushed in to plead. They got in to meet a child bathed with injuries and blood stains and subsequently reported the mother to the police.
In Nigeria, spanking children for faltering with school works is a regular occurrence.
As parents in Nigeria continue to exert pressure on children to start learning and reading almost as soon as they set foot into a school compound; Ghana, Nigeria’s close neighbour is advancing a different approach.
“Research has shown that children learn better through play. Kindergarten education is not a serious business, you need to allow the child to play.” Vida Ntow, the Early Childhood Coordinator for Ghana’s education ministry told a group of journalists during a reporting trip organized by the International Centre for Journalists.
Ranked as one of the fastest growing economies in the world, Ghana is a pioneer in the expansion of two years of pre-primary education in Africa. The West African country is gaining tremendous strides. Net enrollment has soared to 74.6 % as seven out of 10 children are in school at the KG level.
In 2005, the government of Ghana developed a KG Curriculum and also implemented KG as part of basic education. An enrollment drive on age appropriateness has seen improvement in right-age enrollment even as the percentage of trained teachers from KG increased from 30 percent in 2007 to 65 percent in 2017.
At Ashongman MA Basic 1 school, a public school in Accra, Ghana’s capital city, children in KG classrooms sat circled around a wooden table. The walls of the classrooms are painted with trees, houses and the various shades of the rainbow. Hanging on the walls were letters of alphabets and numerals in varying sizes.
There’s a lot of singing and dancing in many of Ghana’s KG classes. The children at Ashongman wriggled their waists as they danced along with the teacher to the rhythm of school rhymes sang in the local dialect. Except for English language, other forms of learning at the KG level is conducted in the language of the immediate environment.
“You may think they are playing but at the same time they are learning. We build learning around the play-based method. We don’t subject them to paper and pen examination, but according to whatever activity they are capable of doing at a given time”, Ntow stressed.
Ntow further attested that it’s not been easy convincing Ghanaian parents to change attitudes regarding expectation of writing and reading from pre-school children. Even though government is keen on a play-based method for kindergarten education in Ghana, the Rote method which deals with memorization of learning based on repetition is favoured by parents and some private schools.
According to Oxfordlearning.com, benefits of the Rote learning method include ability to quickly recall basic facts and develop foundational knowledge. But the disadvantage far outweighs the perceived benefit. Experts have found that the Rote method does not encourage the use of social skills and also deters a deeper understanding of subjects. Again, children taught through the Rote method may be unable to establish connections between new and previous knowledge, resulting in wrong impression or misunderstanding of a concept.
Although Ghana’s early child education system is still fraught with inadequate infrastructure and low capacity of KG teachers; the Ghanaian government has demonstrated commitment to strengthening the system in a way that ensures accountability for early childhood education services, Agnes Arthur, an Education Specialist with UNICEF in Ghana told The Nation.
Unless you ARE a single mom, you can’t feel like one.
In the year 2000 I was happily married (for 13 years, together for 20) to my college sweetheart, with a lovely home and two young children.
Then one day I began the process of discovering my husband’s long-standing affair—with someone I knew very well. Within 9 months my marriage was over.
And though I met and married a wonderful man— and have been married for over 10 years—the hurt and pain of that time is still there. Still palpable.
I was (and still am) very lucky to have an incredible network of friends and family—without whom I would have never come out the other side as successfully as I did. Yet even among my closest friends, I would experience “well-meaning” advice, words and comments that really stung. Things that I myself might have said prior to my divorce, having no idea how powerful those seemingly innocent words could be:
“It’s too bad you have children—you’ll always be connected because of them.”
This was very painful to hear. My kids were often the singular reason that I got out of bed many mornings following my divorce. There were so many times that I would wake up not knowing how I was going to face the day. But then I’d remember my children—and the responsibility I had to them—and I did what I needed to do. Having them around me made me feel happy, loved, not alone. I can’t imagine my life without them.
(When a spouse is out of town) “I feel like SUCH a single mom this week.”
No you don’t. Yes, you may not have extra hands at breakfast or bath time, but this is NOT the same as being a single mom. The fears, anger, hurt and complications that accompany divorce are there 24/7, as opposed to the temporary “single” status that occurs when a spouse is away. Do NOT say this, ever.
Another well-meaning comment that ultimately stings. Mainly because even in moments when I was enjoying my “alone” time, the reason for it would quickly overwhelm. I was alone not by choice, and as the result of a devastating event.
“You’ll never be truly happy until you forgive.”
I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this. My husband had an extra-marital affair that ruined me emotionally, physically and spiritually. I will never forgive him—ever. And yet I can say, with complete conviction, that I am happy. Happily married. Happily employed. Happily engaged with life.
“I saw it coming.”
Even if you did, don’t say it. No matter the cause, divorce almost always feels—on some level—like failure. A comment like this just pours salt on the wound.
“It’s ultimately for the best.”
It’s natural to want to offer hope in this situation. And I was lucky that in my case it really did work out for the best. But in the beginning I was terrified—for my financial future, and that I’d never meet anyone else. A comment like this diminishes that fear, and rings hollow.
“I’d never survive if it happened to me.”
This is like the opposite of the above comment—implying that divorce is something that would decimate the average person. I only wanted to feel “typical”—not some freak or outsider because of my new status.
“You’re so brave.”
Another seemingly innocuous comment—well-meaning, and yet I can’t think of a single time I heard this that it didn’t ultimately feel like pity.
“I would never put up with (insert spouse’s awful behavior here).”
I hung in for months after discovering my husband’s affair—and no one was more surprised than I was. I knew there’d be no turning back once I ended my marriage, and I needed to be absolutely ready and sure before I did. I learned that you don’t REALLY know how much you’re willing to tolerate—until you’re there yourself.
In search of a lighter and healthy breakfast idea? Plantain frittata is the ultimate plantain and egg breakfast recipe you should try.
It is different, easy to prepare and of course very delicious.
Don’t just fry your plantain and eggs separately, try this recipe! It includes chicken sausage which gives it a meaty texture and it also includes a fair share of veggies.
Ingredients
2-3 very ripe plantains
7 eggs
1/2 cup chopped onion
3 cloves garlic – minced
1 large roma tomato – chopped
1 cup chopped bell pepper I chopped one green bell pepper
2 tablespoons oil
1 1/2 cup chopped sausage I used chicken sausage
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon bouillon powder substitute with 1 4g stock cube (e.g Maggi)
1/4 teaspoon ground white or black pepper
Oil for deep frying the plantains
1/2 teaspoon oil (for greasing pie plate)
Parsley for garnishing (optional)
Method
1. Peel plantains then cut into 1/4 inch slices. Place oil in a pan up to 2-3 inches and heat up to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Gently place the plantain slices into the oil one at a time then fry on one side for about 2 minutes. Flip to the other side and cook for another 2 minutes Remove and place on paper towel to absorb excess oil.
2. Place the two tablespoons of oil in a skillet and heat up on medium heat. Add the onions and garlic and saute until fragrant. Add the chopped tomato and cook for about 2 minutes. Add the sausage and stir for about 2 minutes. Add the bell peppers and salt, black pepper then stir for about 2 minutes. Turn off the heat.
3. In a large bowl, crack in all the eggs. Add the bouillon powder and whisk to combine. Add the sausage-bell pepper mixture into the eggs then mix. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
4. Rub a pie place with about a teaspoon of oil. Pour the egg mixture into the pie plate. Arrange the fried plantains on top of the egg mixture. Note that some of the plantains may shrink – that is totally okay.
5. Place the pie plate in the preheated oven and bake for 35 minutes. Now remove and check to make sure the egg is set in the middle. If it is set then take it out. If it isn’t set, place it bake in the oven and turn of the heat. Let it stay in the oven for about 5-10 minutes then take it out.
6. Garnish with chopped parsley if desired then cut up into triangles and serve warm. So so good!
