The Nation Newspaper

Category: Family Forum

  • A good marriage attracts God’s Blessings (1)

    Dear reader, you are welcome to this exciting column in Jesus’ name!

    Marriage generally gives you a sense of accomplishment. It is your passage from one phase of life to another; it is a step forward that marks your progress in life. Every young man or woman has a dream or vision of the kind of home he or she would like to have. No one envisions troubles or divorce for him or herself. Everyone dreams of a joyful, peaceful and fruitful home. The good news is: God created marriage for the fulfilment of these dreams and aspirations; you will not be disappointed in Jesus’ Name! Peradventure your dreams for marriage seem not to be finding fulfilment right now, receive grace for a new beginning as you walk in line with God’s purposes for marriage henceforth.

    Marriage is a function of God’s favour. Once your marriage is fashioned according to God’s prescriptions in His Word, you procure His favour, and once that favour is there, it is irreversible. The Word of God says: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). Even men are compelled to favour you, because when a man’s ways please the Lord, He causes even his enemies to be at peace with him. God’s favour is the maker of men. When you secure His favour, you progress and succeed effortlessly in life. Everyone needs God’s favour in life and marriage. That is why today, I will be teaching on: Enjoying Favour in Marriage.

    Success in life and marriage is not a function of your smartness or connections, but a function of God’s favour, because the Bible says: The Lord maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up. He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and he hath set the world upon them (1 Samuel 2:7-8).

    The favour of God elevates you to greater heights that make you to be envied by men. When you step out, hand in hand with your partner, people see the glory of God upon you, honour you and open all manner of doors before you. Singles will desire to be like you, because the good hand of God upon your home will make marriage desirable to all who see you. God’s favour also secures for you lifting and promotion in status, which also affects your financial and material prosperity. God created marriage to give man an easy access to His favour so that he can live a sweatless life. This shall be your portion, in Jesus’ Name.

    One of the things that favour attracts is God’s blessings. The Bible states: The blessings of the Lord maketh rich and he added no sorrow to it (Proverbs 10:22). God’s blessings are sent to us to make us rich; not in finance alone, but in all aspect of life. To have the highest level of God’s blessings, you must give God the chance to be supreme in your life. He becomes supreme in your life, when you are controlled by His words in your thoughts, decisions, speech and actions. As this is done, the favour of God is made available for you to enjoy.

    To attract God’s favour in your marriage also, you must ensure that you keep the marriage bed pure. The Word of God says, Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled… (Hebrews 13:4). The word ‘undefiled’ there simply means kept pure. If this was impossible, God won’t tell you to do it.

    Whether single or married, illicit sexual affairs render your service to God unrewardable and will deprive you of enjoying the honour He has destined for you in marriage. God is much more interested in your person than your money or what you can do. When your person is acceptable unto God then your service will become acceptable.

    Single men and ladies, if you must enjoy honour in your family life, when you get into marriage, you must lay a good foundation for it by keeping yourselves pure. God’s Word states in 1 Timothy 4:12, Let no man despise thy youth… Refuse to submit yourself to the deception of the devil.

    Many people get emotionally distorted when they defile the marriage bed to the extent that it disturbs their marital life. You can save your marriage from torments by keeping your life pure. If you are fond of jumping from one man to another as a single lady, today, I decree that the fire of the Lord falls on you and consumes that dirty habit in Jesus’ name.

    The later part of that scripture says …but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. The word ‘whore’ simple means harlot. Give no room to the devil if your soul is actually precious to you.  When you get into defiling the marriage bed, whether you are single or married, it is because your soul is not precious to you.  Refuse to fall a victim if you truly have value for yourself. Don’t say you want to earn yourself a living by prostituting because God will judge those who do that.  If your family has been scattered by adulterers or whoremongers, it shall be restored in the name of Jesus.

    EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS

    Let no man or woman lure you into having affairs together with whosoever is not your husband or wife. Don’t say everybody is doing it and the world now has really advanced. The world cannot be more advanced than the Word of God. Indecency and indiscipline have put so many young people into trouble today.

    Marital affairs are meant exclusively to be between husband and wife. Without holiness, the struggle continues and that’s why many married and singles are struggling in life because of sexual immoralities. The marital relationship is a seal of the covenant and it is sacred. The Word of God says, Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).

    It is not your pastor that will judge, but God Himself is the judge. Remember that it is a fearful thing to fall. Adultery is very cancerous and it kills respect between couples. Instead of enjoying the honour of marriage, such actions bring shame.

    All manner of venereal diseases are on the streets today and adultery and fornication are one of the distribution centres for it.

    It doesn’t take more than this to enjoy God’s blessings in your home. If you want this blessings, then you should say this prayer of faith: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Now I know I am born again!

    Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for you at Calvary. Please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org or 08141320204, 07026385437.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Enjoy rest in marriage (5)

    For you to have a stable home, you need to understand your husband or wife.

    Understanding your spouse is very important in becoming a good spouse. You must get to know that everything about your spouse is unique. There are no two people on planet earth that are exactly the same.

    Everyone God has made is unique. Thus, you, your spouse and your children are peculiar. You are not a carbon-copy of anyone, you are an original and so is your spouse. You and your spouse are wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalm 139:14). You must understand your spouse if you must enjoy rest in marriage. You need to study his or her background, likes, dislikes, what makes him or her happy and what affects his or her mood.

    In the light of this, and to build understanding, this week, I will be teaching on: The Missing Link between Couples.

    Communication is the life-blood of any relationship. Learn to communicate effectively with your spouse and when you know how to do this, it will help you understand who your spouse is. You need to ask questions. The disciples of Jesus were around Him; they didn’t only listen to His teachings. Whatever they didn’t understand they always asked and Jesus never told them to shut up, He always answered their questions. So, rather than assuming understanding, ask questions, e.g. “How about this area? How about that area of your life?” Communicate so you can have a better understanding; and when communication is effective, you will become a good spouse. Understanding is what is required to have an outstanding marriage.

    Time Investment

    Many couples have time for themselves within the first few weeks of marriage and afterwards never do. This becomes even worse when they start having children. This is the reason why many marriages that start off so sweetly fail as couples, who think they know themselves, find out that they really don’t. Investing in spending time with your spouse will help build trust, confidence, peace, knowledge and a better understanding in your relationship. It will help you know each other better. The true nature of man appreciates being noticed because man is a living thing. There is nothing as hurting as when one party is neglected in a marriage.

    Many men just see their wives as good cooks, cleaners, mothers of their children and keepers of the home. This is so, because time has not been invested to know who their wives really are. 1 Peter 3:7 admonishes: Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them (wives) according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

    Every man should invest enough time in knowing his wife. You must spend quality time with your wife so much that you know her taste for things like toiletries, wears, colours and her likes and dislikes. The woman, on the other hand, should invest quality time enough to know her husband’s taste for things too. You must be concerned about his well-being at work, business or career, his success and professional accomplishments.

    Usually, while a man craves for respect from his wife first and then others, the woman’s self-worth is in place when she is loved and appreciated, first by her husband and then others.

    Secondly, time must be invested on children to meet their physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  A child is a gift from God, a blessing to the family and a unique blend of husband and wife (Psalms 127:3).  This is why time must be created also for them. This will build love, security and trust. The best environment to raise a child is at home and as parents, God mandates us to fulfill this task. Once you learn to order your priorities aright, you will find that the time invested in meeting their needs will not be in vain. Time invested in your building a solid foundation for that child, that even when he or she leaves home and is in a place where you cannot see him or her physically, the knowledge of what have been taught him or her becomes a guide.  Invest regular time with them like play time, homework and assignment time; be available to answer their questions and teach them to seek after the Word of God.

    Wife, if your husband is the busy type, use the wisdom of God to get him to create time for the children. Time is a very important thing you should invest on your children, not money. For instance, there was a time when our children would come to me with questions that I felt their father should hear and be the one to answer. I would walk them to his study door and leave them to go in and meet him. Afterwards, they would come back excited and smiling, having had their questions answered. Now they can confidently go to him and when they come into his study, he puts them at ease by asking, “How was school today? What did you do at break-time? Did you eat your school lunch?” This type of intimacy and open communication is very useful for their emotional stability.  Finally, time should be invested for your parents, relations and in-laws but this should be done with wisdom.

    The following are the things men and women would like to find in a spouse.

    What a woman wants in a husband

    • Someone who will spend time with her and talk with her.
    • Someone who will be tender with her.
    • Someone who will be her spiritual leader.
    • Someone who will be a good father to her children.
    • Someone who will be a good provider.

    What a man wants in a wife

    • Someone he can have fun with!
    • An interesting and exciting sex partner.
    • A good homemaker, and a good mother to his children
    • A financially responsible partner.
    • A wife who will respect and admire him.

    Grace to hear and do these becomes available when you accept Jesus Christ and become born again.  If you would like to accept Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord and be born again, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Enjoy rest in marriage (3)

    I welcome you to another exciting time in God’s presence. The first week I started this teaching, I taught on the place of rest.  I said when you come to Jesus, you have rest. Last week, I also taught on rest in time of unrest.  Today, we shall be looking at the topic: Relaxing at Home.

    The peace of God is what brings about relaxation. When you are peaceful, you can be said to be relaxed. God is the author of peace. He is not a partial God; He will give you when you ask Him and if you allow Him to be the Lord of your life. His Word says: Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27).

    Too many people are going through one form of tension and stress or the other at home, work, with their spouses or children. And life doesn’t seem to be treating them well. For such people, relaxation is like an impossible task. In this “age of anxiety,” where humanity is threatened with nuclear bombs, natural disaster, incurable diseases and uncertainty, everyone is looking for one type of escape or the other. Those experiencing family pressures may turn to drugs, while others opt for money making: Others may find solace in another wife, thinking that would offer a solution. Children are not left out. Some may join bad gangs with their peers, while relations seek diabolical solutions. In a bid to rid themselves of their burdens, they end up compounding them. But despite all these, the Word of God says: These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world (John 16:33).

    With all these seeming escape routes, many are still left empty, unfulfilled and finally worse-off than before. Everywhere, people are looking for something to relax their nerves from a world of stress, tension and pressures. Countless people and even Christians, after their salvation experience, carry burdens and go through life with yokes around them. This just goes to show that there is no permanent solution for man in those seeming escape routes. It is possible however, to live above the regions of pressure and stress.

    Anyone who is experiencing turbulence in the home, can enjoy peace and rest at home by discovering the solution the Word of God offers to troubled homes and obeying His instructions. It may not look like the solution, but God is a marriage expert. He ordained and instituted the family unit and knows how best to make it work. Just by following instructions, my home and family is a place to relax. Pressure can’t find its way in, stress is non-existent and tension can’t survive there. God has made it a place of peace for all the family members and me. Yours can be the same too, if you can practise what it takes.

    I don’t know the kind of burden you have been carrying about, but today, as you continue to read God’s Word, it will show you what to do in order to live stress-free. You can relax at home! If you are willing to do what it takes, God’s presence will be with you even where you are now. You agree with His Word and He will take every burden off your life, and every yoke off your shoulder. The Bible says:

    COME unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you andlearn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.  (Matthew 11:28-30 emphasis mine).

    If you are tired of being burdened at home and you need to relax, Jesus Christ says, “Come”. Imagine a man running a race with a bag of cement on his head. He wants to win but the weight on his head is a hindrance. This illustrates what many families are experiencing. Burdens, weights, cares and worries have robbed them of reaching that goal of a peaceful home. I want you to know that absence of peace in the family does not make for relaxation. Relax yourself in the arms of the Lord Jesus and lay your burdens at His feet. Until you do that, you can’t lay hold on the rest that God has for you.

    No one else can carry your burden except the Lord Jesus. It doesn’t matter what the burden is, whether it is bad examination results, financial hardship, or childlessness, Jesus says, “Come unto me…and I will give you rest”.I am determined, set and ready to give you rest if only you will let me.” You have a duty to perform by coming to Jesus. The Bible describes Jesus Christ as “The Word of God” (Revelation19:13).  Therefore, coming to Jesus simply means coming to the Word of God as the final solution to every problem. Look at this sister’s testimony:

    “My marriage technically broke down on the wedding day, at the reception table! But I stayed on in it for almost a decade. It was a thorn in the flesh. Eventually, I had to leave. Right inside my matrimonial home, I got a SAN to prosecute the divorce.

    I got born again after then, but the Word never came to me till I heard in the church a teaching on forgiveness, which made me realise that I had been living in self-righteousness all along. I forgive, but don’t forget. I got this corrected in my mind and through the anointed book, Marriage Covenant, through anointed preaching of the men of God and anointed counselling, my marriage got miraculously healed and right now, I’m having a honeymoon.” (Olaleye)

    There is hope for your home! Someone said talking with God is the prescription for anxiety. As you communicate to the Lord and He communicates to you through His Word, tension and worry will be a thing of the past. With the exit of tension and stress, your home will be a place to return to and relax after the day’s work or activities. To have a home of relaxation, you have to get connected to God by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.  If you are not yet born again and you desire to do so right now, please pray this prayer with faith in your heart: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Setting a solid foundation for your home (3)

    Dear Reader, I welcome you to this exciting moment in God’s presence, in Jesus’ name! Throughout this month, I have been looking at how to set a solid foundation for your home, and this week I will be examining communication as the key to a successful home. This study will centre on the effects of Communication Breakdown in Marriage.

    We understand that to have a successful marriage, you have to make yourself an expert in communication by trying to understand what your partner is saying on a simple level, as well as trying to analyse the underlying message or desire. If you don’t have a healthy way of expressing your thoughts and emotions to each other, of speaking and being heard, then everything else will ultimately crumble.

    What is Communication?

    Communication is said to be the art of passing across information. Until you successfully pass a message or thought across to someone else, you cannot be said to have communicated effectively. Communication in marriage involves more than passing across a feeling, thought, message or desire. It also involves how a thing is said and when it is said. In marriage, the word “communication” is broken down to “communion”, which means, sharing of thoughts and feelings. It also means to speak together as close friends. Communication can be said to be the “mortar” that cements the marital relationship. It is the key to a successful marriage. A wise man once said, “If you talk together, you stay together”, and I believe this is true.  It is important for you to know that marriage is all about living together.

    What then are the Principles for effective communication?

    Talking and listening

    Learning to have an effective communication in marriage is one of the most important aspects of marriage that a couple must work on. Being able to express oneself in the small areas will lead to open discussion in the big areas as well. If you want something, you need to say it. One of the most difficult problems when a couple is very busy is finding the time to talk. Communication takes a significant amount of time.   Husbands and wives should make a habit of talking about things that matter to them. This will involve time, but such time spent is never a waste, but an investment. Such time helps in developing a personal relationship with each other, which in turn brings about harmony. Someone once said, “A good communicator is always a good listener.” In essence, a good communicator is not one who talks all the time, but one who knows when to talk and when to listen.  There is a time for everything, says the Preacher in Ecclesiastes 3:1.

    Can you imagine how frustrating it will be for you to receive a phone call from a friend, who spends twenty minutes talking and never allowing you to say a word? You may listen politely the first time, but certainly not the next time. When next he or she calls, you will definitely not be keen to pick up the phone. For communication to be effective, when one person is talking, the other should listen. The Word of God says: Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (James 1:19). From this scripture, it means that you should listen more than you talk! Someone has said this is the reason why God gave man two ears, but only one mouth! One person should not be the only one talking throughout.  No matter your temperament, never monopolize a discussion; give room to your spouse or other family members present as well to air their opinion. If your partner is an introvert and you are an extrovert, be patient enough to allow him time to talk and wait for him to finish before you respond. This requires discipline.  Good lovers are usually good listeners! Learn to listen. Perhaps the most essential quality for good communication in any relationship, and particularly in a marriage, is to be a good listener.

    The same principle works when you are handling difficulties or resolving differences.  Both of you should speak in turns, one at a time.  You should allow your spouse to finish speaking before you talk.  Both of you should not be found talking at the same time; before you know it, you will be pointing at each other, and the one with larger muscles begins to warm up for a final showdown. God is a God of order, and everything ought to be done decently and in order!

    Openness

    There is a need to be free to discuss everything about yourself with your spouse. There should be no hide-and-seek game. No one keeps secrets from himself.  It is not possible for the toe to hurt without the brain knowing; they are both members of one body. Similarly, God expects that when two become one in holy wedlock, nothing should be kept as secret between them.  Both must be open to one another and walk in sincerity. When a man takes a woman as a wife, the Bible declares that in God’s eyes, they are one flesh.  The Word of God says: …He that loveth his wife loveth himself (Ephesians 5:28). The devil often leads people into thinking that if they open up completely, they may never be accepted for whom they are or that when their spouses hear the whole truth about an issue, they won’t love them anymore. But this is a lie. The Word of God says: And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25). If in the beginning, the man and his wife were naked but did not experience shame, then it follows that if you apply the same principle of openness in your marriage, shame will not be your portion!

    Faithfulness

    You must be faithful to your spouse in keeping secrets concerning everything he tells you. The Word of God says: A faithful man shall abound with blessings: but he that maketh haste to be rich shall not be innocent (Proverbs 28:20).

    Trust

    You must try as much as possible to believe in your spouse. Always keep secrets that he or she tells you and tell him or her the truth about yourself.

    However, effective communication begins with God. To have effective communication with God, you must first of all be born again. If you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are born again and now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily; obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

  • Marriage: A lifetime commitment (2)

    Dear Reader,  Cavalry greetings in Jesus’
    Precious Name! Our God is forever faith
    ful. Praise to our Omnipotent God, the maker of all things. The Word of God encourages us to ‘pursue after knowledge and search wisdom out’. As you continue to read and apply yourself to the demands of the Word of God, every plan of the enemy to frustrate your family life shall be annulled in Jesus’ Mighty Name!

    I discussed the origin of marriage last week. Today, I will be looking at what I titled, Marriage Covenant Responsibilities.

    The Word of God makes it clear that marriage is a covenant, and this is expounded in my book Marriage Covenant. What is a Covenant? The dictionary defines it as ‘a binding agreement; or a contract’ usually between two people. The Word of God says, Marriage is Honourable… (Heb. 13:4). This means, the agreement of marriage between two people is seen as a good thing in the sight of God, which eventually leads to honour and dignity for the parties involved. I want to let you know therefore, that it is a good thing that you desire marriage, if you are not yet married.  For those already married, it is a good step you have taken in life. You shall have no cause to regret it.

    However, as good as marriage is, there are covenant responsibilities that must be operated, in order for it to produce the desired good. God’s Word says, If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land (Isaiah 1:19).  Marriage is good, but you must be willing and obedient to operate by God’s covenant to enjoy the good in it. My husband, Bishop David Oyedepo will always say, “A life without responsibilities is a liability”. Furthermore, he says, “Responsibility is the price for greatness”. Do you desire good in your marriage? Are you longing for peace, harmony and serenity in your marital life? Then apply yourself to the demands of a good home. If you are yet to enact the covenant of marriage, begin to ask for grace to comply with the demands. If it is in your heart to obey God, it shall be easy for you to do so. Greatness and fulfillment don’t come by magic, neither are they meant for a specific group of people, but for as many as would fear God and work righteousness. If people are having great testimonies concerning their family relationships, why not you? Greatness and fulfillment are meant for you, if you care to walk in the covenant.

    What are these Covenant Responsibilities?

    For the MAan:

    1. As a Husband
    2. You are the head of the home, the leader and not a dictator. He must lead spiritually, because God will hold him accountable (Gen. 3:9).
    3. He must love his wife unconditionally as a brother, friend and as a lover (Eph. 5:25-29).
    4. He must honour his wife and not treat her as a lesser being, or a slave (1 Peter 3:7)
    5. He must dwell with her according to knowledge. He must know her likes and dislikes. She is an individual too who has a mind of her own. Never compare her to your mother! It is foolishness to do so.

    You must understand that women expect to be fulfilled in the following areas – Companionship, compassion, romance and passion. Never treat her as an old cargo. Renew your love for her on daily basis.

    1. As a father

    The man has the responsibility of raising his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4; Deut. 6:6-7), not by bullying and beating. Instead, apply the rod of the Word of God, and as you mold them in the fear of the Lord, you are raising godly children, who will in turn call you blessed.

    1. As a Provider

    You are responsible for the needs of your home. Meeting the needs of the home is the primary responsibility of the man. The woman is only your help meet. Never shift your responsibility to your wife; it is anti-covenant to do so. To shy away from this responsibility makes you worse than an infidel – an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8). This shall not be your portion.

    For the woman:

    1. As a wife

    She has the power of influence, while her husband has the power of authority. She must be a positive influence. Her responsibility however, as far as God is concerned is that of submission.

    1. She willingly allows herself to be ruled by her husband, obeying him in love (Eph. 5:22-24):
    2. he must reverence him (Eph. 5:33).
    3. She must cook to please him.
    4. She must dress to please him (1 Peter 3:2).
    5. She must love him (Titus 2:4; Pro. 31:26).
    6. She must learn to go to God in prayer, rather than arguing.
    7. As a Mother

    She must train her children spiritually, and physically, bringing them up to become arrows in the hands of God. A mother’s role in the life of a child is a non-transferable responsibility. Mothers, don’t push your children to another person to train for you. Whatever means God gives you, use what you have to bring up your children. God will hold you accountable for failing in your role as a mother. Prepare your children for life ahead. It is your covenant responsibility.

    1. As a Home Maker

    Seeing to the general welfare of the home, planning and managing resources provided are your covenant responsibilities (Titus 2:5). You are the homemaker, not house-help. You are to see to the welfare of every member of your household. This is your primary assignment before your career or business.

    You need the grace of God to carry out your covenant responsibilities. You need to surrender your life to Christ so that, that grace can be given to you.  You can say this prayer and receive that grace. Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

     

  • Place God at the centre of your home (3)

    Dear Reader, it is my pleasure to welcome you to another encounter with  God’s Word today! Without any doubt, I know that you have really taken time to put God first in all your ways to set the pace for your blessings this month. So far, I have examined the truth that God’s help is all you need and last week, I taught you on God’s requirement for living. This week, my focus will be on some vital steps your family needs to take to enjoy God’s help.

    Christ must be allowed to be a living presence in your home and not just an inscription or painting. There is a popular inscription in a lot of families (especially Christian homes) which says, “Christ is the Head of this home, the Unseen Guest at every meal, the Silent Listener to every conversation.” Are you in need of peace in your home?  Make Christ, the Prince of Peace the head of your home. How do you do that?

    Get your family saved! This is the first step to take in securing peace in your home. In other words, you must take a definite and practical step to be born again and to get your family members saved. The Word of God says, Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God (John 3:3).

    Salvation is not in Church attendance. It is one thing to be a member of a particular church and it is another thing to be born again. You may have a family church and bear a Christian name. These do not make you a born-again Christian. Someone explained it like this: “Going to poultry on a daily basis does not make a man a chicken.” It will take undergoing a supernatural change for a man to become a chicken. Why then do some people think that going to church daily and even sleeping in church from morning till night make them Christians.  It will take a supernatural change or operation for a sinner to be born again and to become a child of God!

    Whether you are a member of a Church or an activity group in your local church, the question is, are you born again?  It is only then that Church or service group attendance becomes relevant.  Prior to this, it is just religion.  If you want Christ to be the Head of your family, it comes by being born again, not by being religious. The Word of God says, Acquaint now thyself with Him, and be at peace; thereby good shall come unto thee (Job 22:21).

    Your family members might all be born again and serving God in various capacities, but still lack financial peace. Then, here is the secrete! For anyone desirous of a great financial future, you must possess an attitude of giving.

    In a home environment where love and harmony are meant to be the foundation stones and bedrock of its existence, Love is never selfish (1 Corinthians 13:5). Therefore, you must have a ‘Giving’ attitude. For God so loved the world that He GAVE. He demonstrated His love for man by taking the initiative and giving us His son (John 3:16). It was in His selfless giving that the world was won. Jesus admonished us “give and it shall be given unto you…” (Luke 6:38). A tight fisted mentality is a sure way to remain dry and in lack. It also kills the atmosphere of love in the home.

    Giving to God

    God is a giving God and giving is a god-like attribute. If we claim to be God’s children, we must imitate Him in all things including – giving. Giving to God of your financial harvest (income or finances) is a sure way to ensure your purse doesn’t run dry, especially tithes. Tithing is a good insurance against the devourer and enemy. Those who give to the Lord hardly ever end up worshipping money. Remembering God first before distribution is a way of ‘Putting God first’ above money.

    Tithing is important. The Bible says, Bring ye ALL the TITHES into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, I will open you the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing…I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes (Malachi 3:10). It is meant to be 10 percent of one’s income, earnings or profit. You may say, “We don’t have money at home,” or “I can’t afford to tithe “or “10% is too much to give God.” Can you afford not to tithe? If tithe is too much an amount to spend can you afford the devil’s charges? The Lord says if you tithe, He will “rebuke the devil and stop all his evil plans concerning you.” All those things devouring your income, unnecessary spending, hospital bills, car damage payments and businesses losses need not be your lot in life. However, your responsibility of paying 10% to the Lord holds great blessings for you and your family. As you are obedient to this injunction, your finances at home will experience a turnaround in Jesus’ name.

    Giving to the work of God (Kingdom Investments).

    Giving to the work of the Lord and His Kingdom on earth is very vital. It is an investment that will eventually pay off great dividends. It also involves giving for Church projects, to God’s servants and the poor (orphans, widows, needy etc.)

    God loves the merciful and releases blessings upon them. When you reach out to bless the poor, God ensures that you do not lack. Also giving God’s servants as is recorded in 1 Kings 17-9-16 can make your home never to lack supernatural supply.

    When you dispose of your money in the above listed ways, you are serving God with it and it is an evidence of your love for the Lord. As you continue to love and serve the Lord with your finances, He makes sure your home does not lack. The Word of God says, Worship (serve) the Lord your God and His blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you… (Exodus23:25) NIV

    You can’t be a giver and lack as a child of God. It is a mystery but supplies will always be available for you. The Word of God says, One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (Proverbs 11:24-25).

    I thank God that in my family there is nothing we can’t easily give unto God; and He has made sure we never lacked because of this. Many years ago, when we had only 1 car (a Mercedes Benz) and God spoke to my husband to sell it and give the money to expand the ministry of some missionaries in the North. We gladly did! Today we are overjoyed to see these same ministries expanding and growing to the glory of God. We also have many more cars entrusted to us by the Lord.

    Make your home a generous home and it will prosper. Let your financial purse be a generous one and it will gain even more. A word of caution: To be generous and zealous for the Lord does not mean one should be foolish. You have to be prudent in your giving and spending.

    You need to surrender your life to Christ if you are not born again. If you want to be born again, you can say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Place God at the centre of your home (2)

    Dear reader, I started this subject last week by telling you that God’s help is all you need to have all your family needs met and to enjoy peace and success in your home. This Week, I will be teaching on: God’s requirement for a fulfilled family life.

    To begin, you must understand that Jesus Christ is the key to fulfilment which brings lasting peace. The presence of Christ in any home guarantees peace because, according to Scripture, He is the “Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).

    Whenever there is peace, you can be sure Christ is present. If you care to put Him first and let Him be the head of your home, He causes wonderful things to take place in the home, making it always a place of excitement and laughter. If you let God be first in your home, He counsels you on what steps to take to ensure love, peace, joy and fulfillment.

    God’s desire is to see His people live in peace but there is no way you can secure the peace of God for your home until you allow Christ to be the head of your family and take the lead in your affairs. The family, we know fully well, makes the church, the nation and networks the entire world. What does God require of you in order to have a fulfilled life?

    The Word of God says, And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul, (Deuteronomy 10:12). This is what God requires of every member of the family. As a man, the head of the home, on whom rests the responsibility of ensuring a godly family, to God’s glory, what is your focus? What is the focus for yourself and for the members of your family. Do you have the fear of the Lord? Do you teach your children so? As a wife and mother, are you not living for things? Are you not preoccupied with what to eat and wear? Does this not fully occupy your thoughts and daily living? Do you have time to seek out of the Book of the law to know God’s requirements for you and those God has put in your care? What are you living for, woman? You must get your priorities right this new year, if you are to actually see and enjoy the full-scale blessings that God has promised His children. It is not for the butter-and-bread-seeking Christians, but rather for those who will care to live by every Word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. What are these requirements?

    Fear The Lord Thy God

    ‘Fear’ in this context is not talking of being afraid. Rather it connotes respect and reverence to God and His Word. Whatever He says, let it be your guiding principle, this year and beyond. As a man, and the head in the home, if you will walk in the understanding that you have a Head, who watches over you and your doings and movement, you will hold Him in reverence and respect. Whatever He tells you to do, you will do it heartily without grumbling.

    As a wife, even though your husband is the head of the family, if you understand that ultimately, God is your head, you will hold His commandments in awe. Rather than seeing yourself as being subject to your husband only, you should see yourself as obeying the commandments of God through your husband, thereby reverencing God and His Word. This is the fear of the Lord. As you do these, your children will watch and learn from you. Secretly, they are proud to have a God-fearing woman as their own mother, and they in turn learn to obey God and keep His Word.

    Walk In All His Ways

    You cannot walk in His ways, except you have Him in respect and reverence. When He says, “Turn to the right” ‘you don’t turn to the left. When He commands you to wait, you don’t get impatient and move.

    Love God

    This is the first commandment, and God reiterates it in Deuteronomy 10:12 that He requires your love. Love God in every way by showing it to your spouse, children and all around you.

    Serve HIim

    God does not only require you to fear, love and walk with Him, He also requires you to serve Him. How? With your heart, means and time. You can’t genuinely serve somebody you don’t love. When your love for God is in place, you will willingly serve Him with your being.

    Friends, now that you have an idea of God’s requirements for your life, are you living for God? The Bible says, Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord (Lamentation 3:40). Living for the right purpose makes for fulfillment, otherwise, the struggles will continue. God only guides those who obey Him.  He says He will only turn to you if you turn to Him. If you don’t want to be a wanderer on the earth, let His requirements be your desires. He wants all your struggles and frustrations to come to an end this year, so He has made His requirements plain to you. If He is truly your Father, then you will obey Him and obtain rest for your soul. See Malachi 1:6; Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 9:10. It doesn’t matter how much fame or possession you may have, the Bible says you are as a foolish man, until the fear of God abides in your heart.

    Live by the requirements of the Lord your God. It is not too late. Examine yourself and change your purpose for living. Accept the Lord as your own personal Lord and Saviour. Accept Him as your Guide and Director. Seek to do only those things that are pleasing unto Him. In your family life, desire to obey Him. In your careers and businesses, let Him be the Lord of all. In so doing, your full scale blessings shall be established this year. The Word of God is sure. He said, He will do a new thing for you this year, allow Him to do it. May you not miss your full scale blessings this year in Jesus’ Name!

    You need to surrender your life to Christ in order to have access to God’s grace to meet His requirements.  You surrender by accepting and confessing Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.  That way, you are born again.  If you are ready for it, please say this prayer and be born again: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Place God at the centre of your Home! (1)

    Dear Reader, happy new month to you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! With joy unspeakable full of glory, I sincerely welcome you into this glorious month, filled with great expectations of the manifestations of God’s plans for your life and family. You will agree with me that this year has been awesome with great testimonies of God’s marvelous help. To Him alone be all the glory. Peradventure, you still think God has not done enough for you, then you must have a rethink. Consider the free breath you have enjoyed for the past nine months of this year, the food on your table, clothes and sound health; truly God is faithful!

    No matter the circumstances you are in right now, I have good news for you; God still has so many good things in store for you, your home, extended family, spouse, children, businesses, finances and career. However, you must note that these blessings are only for those who will diligently obey His Word and determine in their hearts to seek God and the interest of His Kingdom first. As the Bible clearly states: If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land (Isaiah 1:19).

    As the year begins to windup and the celebration season where many count their achievements for the year is fast approaching, you must understand that your family needs the help of God at this period. You need help from the regular troubles, woes and calamities that befall families in our world today. Man is still looking everywhere, in search of lasting solutions to the problems encountered in marriage and family. But the Psalmist shows us the secret for an enduring solution in Psalm 60:11, which says, Give us help from trouble: for vain is the help of man. When you place God at the center of your life and family, He makes His help readily available to you. Also, no matter what area of family life you desire and no matter the level of challenges you have experienced in your family, God is all you need to have all your needs met!

    The problem with many couples is that they relegate God to the back seat and yet expect to enjoy divine benefits. They place Him as someone to consult when all others have failed. They forget that God is the Only Wise God and knows the end from the beginning. They ignore the Word of God, which I call the “manufacturer’s manual” and expect the product (marriage) to function perfectly.

    It is impossible to leave God out of the equation of your home and still expect success! Psalm 11:3 says, if the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? God is the foundation for success in the home.  When the foundation is faulty, no matter how righteous you may be, your home cannot stand.

    Someone told the story of how a couple was going on a journey and after packing all they needed God asked them for a space on the journey with them. Filled with excitement concerning the journey, they simply told Him they had no space in the vehicle; but he could manage the booth where they stacked their crates of eggs. Sadly, this couple were involved in an accident that claimed their lives but the booth of the car and the crates of eggs were intact. God always protects those who gives Him a space in their affairs.

    Amazingly, this couple are similar to many others in the world today. They are excited about the adventure of marriage and other attractions that come with it, but relegate the most important personality that makes for a glorious home. As much as God desires a place in your life and family, He won’t force Himself on you. His help can only come when you ask for it. Do your family need God’s help today, ask for it!

    Giving God a place of priority in your family begins with your personal relationship with God, through Jesus Christ. The presence of God comes down in your home, when you are a child of God, a diligent student of the Word, studying and practicing it, as these are the keys to an exciting and successful family. God upholds ALL things by His Word. Once His Word is given its rightful place in your home, it will build a sure foundation, which must stand! Receive the grace to operate upon the Word right now, in Jesus’ name.

    Here is a testimony on the wise application of the Word of God. 

                “After my first child in May, 1981, I went from church to church in search of another child, not really knowing the Word of God.  I was anxious, desperate, worried and lacked good relationship with people.  This almost caused me my marriage.  

                However, I got another baby in December 1991, (10 years later), and I thought peace had come to the home. But no! There was no peace until I started coming to this church in July 1994 and gave my life to Christ in October of that same year.

    I started hearing the Word of God in a way I had never heard it before! I began to see changes in my home and in the relationship between my husband and I. Peace, joy, harmony and great love were restored to me.

    Then I was still anxious for another child, since my baby was now over four years old, until I read the book You Can Overcome Anxiety. Anxiety died in me, because I now know God is able to do all things. My husband, by His grace, is now a man, husband and father. There is now peace in my home and office and my relationship with other people is excellent.”

    Hart, C. I.

    So, family peace depends on the place you give to God and His Word in your home this year. The more of Him you have, the more peace, joy, happiness and sweetness you enjoy in your family. Receive the grace to allow God take His rightful place as the first in your family and grace for you to practice His Word in your home now in Jesus’ Name.

    However, the first step to take, in order to give God and His Word the place of priority in your family is to give your life to Jesus Christ. Giving your life to Christ entails accepting and confessing Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. That is what being born again is all about. If you want to give your life to Christ and be born again, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Marriage: for good, better and best (2)

    You are welcome to another edition in the series for this month. In the last publication, I wrote on how good marriage is and that God has intended marriage for your advancement, increase and fulfilment. I also emphasised on three vital ways to prepare for an enjoyable experience in marriage.

    Today, I will discuss on: Marriage for Better Living. God designed marriage to involve the spirit, soul and body; so, you are meant to be blessed in these three areas. The kind of help God intended marriage to provide is one that is suitable, adaptable and complementary; this is expected to cover all areas of life (Genesis 2:18 Amp.).

    Marriage that makes for better Living

    1. Spiritually strong marriages: firstly, marriage, is a spiritual relationship. Better results are archived when both individuals are personally connected to God through His Word, prayer, fellowship and obedience to scriptures. God expect you to be positively influenced, spiritually by your marriage.

    For your marriage to be stronger, you must improve on your spirituality. The truth is: Spirituality is a walk with God and not a destination. It is continuous and demands maximum input for productivity. Marriage is not merely, the man and his wife, but God is involved also. This is why the Bible says, a threefold cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

    Spiritually strong marriages usually stand the test of time. When one party is spiritually weak, he or she can pull down the partner, even if the person is a spiritual giant. In the same vein, if both are spiritually sound, they achieve greater exploits together. The Bible says, two people brought together in warfare against the devil will put him to flight (Deuteronomy 32:30).

    1. Socially Agreeable Marriages: Being married changes your lifestyle and habits in ways that are personally and socially beneficial. God expects couples to also complement one another socially. The Bible says: Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17).

    Your spouse may not know certain social manners, such as matching of colours, appropriate dress codes for various occasions, table manners, etc. It is your responsibility to educate your spouse on them. The essence of marriage is for couples to help each other grow and become better.

    1. Financially Transparent Marriages: you will agree with me that most of the challenges couples face is financial. Sometimes, they are not caused by inadequate family finance, but lack of transparency. God expects husband and wife to be financially transparent to one another. To maintain a peaceful home, you should be open in your earnings and spending.

    In some culture, the men believe that it is improper for the wives to know how much they earn. The truth is: if you hide your earnings from your wife, she will definitely make demands that are beyond your means, as she doesn’t know how much you earn.

    Couples are expected to be honest with each other especially in financial issues. Money has put many homes asunder; but your home will not be one of such in Jesus Name! Remember that whatever is brought home is for both of you; so you must learn to help each other invest wisely, save, budget and make a better living.

    1. Mentally Reliable Marriages: We were all created mentally reliable. God created you with a sound mind. The Bible says: …But we have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). So, in marriage, both the man and the woman are supposed to be mentally sound and alive. Marriage is meant to improve you mentally. When a sound mind comes in contact with another sound mind in marriage, they both create a better realm of living. They make well-informed decisions that will lead to advancement in all areas of their lives.

    They don’t judge irrationally, but place facts side-by-side; considering the benefits and the disadvantages before making decisions. My husband and I usually spend time reasoning things out with God, when we need to make big decisions in the home. Remember that even God says we should come and reason together (Isaiah 1:18). If you do not build up yourself mentally, you might not be able to strike a balance in this area.

    1. Physically strong marriages: Husband and wife are expected to be helpers of one another physically. Husband, your wife will definitely require your masculine attributes sometimes to assist in some tasks at home while you also require her feminine qualities to address issues of concern in the home. Do not absent yourself at such instances; always be available to render needed support at every given time. Even though both of you are differently created, you are to balance up for better living. If you must enjoy your marriage, ensure that complementary relationships are built in your home.

    If you really delight in all that God is saying to you through His Word today, then you need grace to put it to work. However, this grace comes only to those who are genuinely children of God. This means you also need to be certified a bonafide child of God. If you are not a child of God, you don’t have a genuine access to these blessings. If you are already born again, rejoice because your case is settled. If you are not yet born again and you desire to do so right now, please pray this prayer with faith in your heart: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Marriage: for good, better and best

    Dear reader, you are welcome to a great and fulfilling ninth month of the year! This month, God will grant you a ninth hour miracle, cause you to laugh and all that hear your testimonies will laugh with you.

    Our teaching series for this month will center on the beautification of your marriage. However, this week’s message is titled: Marriage: For good, better and best. Some people already have a very wrong notion that marriage is a trap and the exchange of rings when saying the marital vows, represents a handcuff that puts one in bondage with his or her partner. Contrary to these very wrong beliefs, marriage was instituted by God for your good. It was designed to make life great, enjoyable and meaningful.

    Marriage is a gift from God; and one unique thing about those who married right is that they get to enjoy their journey through life. God has not designed anything evil for man. The Bible says: Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning (James 1:17). Therefore, marriage should take you from good to better and to best. It is meant to advance, increase and promote you. If you are a still a bachelor or spinster, you might probably be feeling complete, but there is always room for advancement and this is what a good and godly marriage offers. The Bible says:

    Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

    To get the good in marriage however, you must make adequate preparations. In life generally, we spend a whole lot of money and time (years) preparing and learning how to be successful in business, vocations and careers; yet, we pay very little attention to a journey that will last an entire lifetime.

    Don’t get married as a novice because you have not prepared adequately for life ahead. Once you begin a relationship with a brother or sister (which hopefully should culminate in marriage), pay attention to proper preparation, not just for the wedding ceremony but for married life. I can never emphasise this point enough. However, to prepare for marriage, you must do the following:

    1. Locate Your Purpose

    What is your vision for life? What is your goal? Where are you heading for? You need a proper understanding of these before you get married because this information will determine who you will choose to spend the rest of your life with.

    1. Invest in your Life as a Person

    Be the best you can be and enhance your worth. (a) Spiritually, grow in grace and draw closer to God daily via the study of His Word as well as communing with Him in prayer. As you do this, your discernment – will be sharpened and you will also be fervent enough to be able to build a God-honouring home tomorrow. By its very nature, marriage, involves a lot of giving and your spiritual stamina will, in no small measure, contribute, to your ability to build wisely.

    (b) Mentally, develop yourself to a great extent in your chosen field of endeavour or career. Create and embrace opportunities to better yourself, so that you will be an asset to your spouse tomorrow and not a liability.

    (c) Emotionally, develop yourself and your capacity to accommodate another person, unconditionally, for the rest of your life.

    As I mentioned earlier, marriage involves giving, not just receiving. Therefore, you need to learn in your single days how to be tolerant and to handle issues with your emotions under control.

    (d) Physically, you, also, need to see to it that you are fit for the new life ahead. As a lady, learn how to keep house, cook and generally manage a home. As a man, learn how to be responsible and to take care of someone else apart from yourself.

    1. Learn as much as you can about marriage

    Learn as much as you can about marriage from credible sources, not from negative examples around you. Study the Bible, the primary text on the subject of marriage. Study materials (books, tapes, magazines) written by those with not just knowledge of the subject, but also proven testimonies in their marriages. The main difference between a marriage that is working and one that is not, is knowledge (Daniel 11:32; 1 Peter 3:7). Study and understand God’s provisions for the family; how to run a home, how to relate with in-laws etc. Also, study the biographies of successful couples.

    The summary of what I am trying to pass across to you, is that your single days are days of building up yourself sufficiently enough for a successful marriage. That is what it means to be a distinct person. Don’t spend all your time looking for who to marry; that is misplacement of priorities. Build yourself first! Nowhere in scriptures is it recorded that Adam was pre-occupied with finding a life companion. He was simply busy with adding value to his life and pursuing his divine assignment and at the right time, God brought Eve his way because it was clear that he needed help. The same way, I see God bring your own partner to you in Jesus’ name.

    However, until God becomes your delight, your home cannot become a delightful place. If you really delight in the Lord, you also need to be certified a bonafide child of God. The Lord said:  COME unto me… (Matthew 11:28). If you are not a child of God, you don’t have a genuine access to these blessings. If you are already born again, rejoice because your case is settled. If you are not yet born again and you desire to do so right now, please pray this prayer with faith in your heart: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).