The Nation Newspaper

Category: Saturday Magazine

  • OGBEVIRE ASHAIKU: How I brought Omotola, others to the big screen in London

    OGBEVIRE ASHAIKU: How I brought Omotola, others to the big screen in London

    They call him Daddy Chris, his name is Ogbevire Ashaiku and happily he tells you that film making gave him this brand name. In this encounter with Yetunde Oladeinde, he talked about his passion, helping to reposition young people that are talented, the opportunities as well as working and living in the Diaspora.

     

    HOW did your passion for film making start?

    I think I got arrested, I don’t know how it happened but I found myself there. I just love to tell stories and finding myself in the Diaspora all this years, my career has been interesting, capturing our experiences as black people. My film making started here as far back as 1993. I shot a film called the Return of the Prince, it was my first film. Then the likes of Mr Ibu were with me, he was my production manager. And there was also Sam Loco, they were the people on my set.

    How would you describe that first experience?

    It was very difficult. I was like a novice and had just joined the industry and I had to learn the hard way in every way because you got people taking advantage of you as well. Some would welcome you and some just did not know what you want. At that point in time, I really don’t know what I wanted,

    Did you feel like quitting at that point?

    Oh yes! Many times I felt like quitting because these movies have gotten me divorced a couple of times. Film making exposes you to a lot of women. No woman ever trusts me and that is a really bitter experience I have from it.

    That is synonymous with the entertainment industry. Did you find a way around it?

    How do you find a way around that? It is only the women that can tell, whether I am a good guy or they are managing me. Here, I am in Nigeria now, she is in London and when I was leaving, she said be careful, not for anything but for Nigerian girls.

    So, do you consider Nigerian girls dangerous?

    I don’t think so. Considering where they find themselves, they are trying to survive. I don’t think there is anyone who won’t do this. It’s easy to call them names; like they called the youth’s names but do you ask yourself, why they are doing it. I am not interested in what is happening but I am interested in why is it happening.

    What are some of the memorable experiences working in the sector?

    One would this; another was a bitter one, when I lost my parents. Then there are times, you find yourself in the middle of a shoot and you just cannot cut it, otherwise the memorable moment would be one of this, discovering g talents.

    Another was a film that I shot in London in 2012 called Amina, it was a beautiful film. Omotola came in from Nigeria, I brought Vanviker from Ghana and the rest were top American actors and actresses. It was a big film and it was premiered in one of the biggest places, great experience and it was good to see some of our African actresses on the big screen where international boys do put their films. It was good competing with them at that level, even though you couldn’t compete with them with their level of finance but at least we were able to raise the bar.

    Talking about finance a lot of people think that government can do more?

    I think that is one of the biggest challenges. I am happy to say that I heard that the Bank of Industry is helping at the moment. But it is more than that; it is more than giving a film maker cash. So, this is part of the advice that I want to give the government. If you make a film in London, there is something called tax credit; the government gives you a per cent of your budget. If you spend one million, they give you 200,000 back. Now, they know that you are spending that money in London. But, in Nigeria, I am told they don’t pay tax, but if they do and a state encourages you to come and shoot, say my village, then the money would be spent in my village. So, encouraging films to be shot in your state is the biggest thing that you can do to the economy.

    What are you doing at the moment?

    I have branched a little bit from film making to broadcasting, so I now run SRTV. I created it out of a film I shot and I wanted to promote my own film. In film you can only tell one story but with a broadcasting station, you can tell many. So, that is where the film festival comes in and here I am telling the story of so many people. The film that I would like to show during our event is called ‘The way we lived’. We tend to forget our culture, our roots and we bestride it. They brought foreign culture and we accepted it, and it is wrong. Broadcasting therefore gives me the opportunity as an African man in London to tell the story of Africans to them and bringing this home. However, one disconnect that I have found is that we do not believe in who we are. Most of our films are something barbaric, the way the put the African tradition is not acceptable. If it is something pure, they would put the white man and black for us. And I keep wondering, we knew God before the Bible came. We are told that we are stupid and we accepted it. They say they are white and we are black, is this skin really black. That is why we don’t celebrate the Black Friday, it’s an insult to the black race. They call them African- Americans not blacks. The good thing that ever came out of Africa is Nollywood. It’s the biggest thing that happened, that is why I am celebrating Nollywood.

    Nigerian youths have complained about being neglected and not given the opportunities required, what is the place of the youths in the festival?

    Empowering the Nigerian youth is the topic, we would be looking at and it would be delivered by a Nigerian politician. The youths are the future, we have disappointed them so much, the future is at stake and they have reasons to come out the way they did. Singing, dancing, talents are areas that they have been able to distinguish themselves and so I support them and give them the necessary platform. That way they feel good. Another thing that I would like to celebrate is the fashion industry. Nigerians have done well in the fashion industry. It’s the same way they grew Hollywood from nothing that they did in fashion and music. So, I decided to celebrate this, start at home and take it everywhere.

    How would you rate the broadcasting sector in Nigeria?

    I am impressed with Channels and disappointed with NTA. The amount of resources they get, it is disappointing to see the quality that is coming out. I think that is the problem with our society in general. In the United States for instance the local government generates more money for the council than any other institution and so you cannot compete with government. But the problem with Nigeria is that things are not working, politicians hardly productive. They should tell us how they spend the money not how the use the money to generate money. Imagine Nigeria not having an airline, if Nigeria doesn’t have, cant the state have. Akwa Ibom has one now, IBOM Airline which is good. I am disappointed. Logos is great in terms of infrastructure and development. Eko City is a big one , you can imagine what would happen to Lagos in the next few years. So, it is a matter of us as a government not being productive and not that NTA refused.

    Electricity is also very important. You cannot underrate that. Even in the Bible, God said let there be light. God made light first.  Now, we are doing that last, which is wrong. We are in darkness. A country in darkness is a definition of who we are. We are still in darkness; we are not getting out of it.

    2020 is synonymous with COVID -19, how did it affect you?

    It did. This film festival was supposed to have happened. I have moved and moved it. So, I said let’s do it this year and not start next year. But again COVID -19 thought us a lot of good things; it thought us to look inwards. We now know that we need good hospitals otherwise, we are all going to die. We dropped a lot of wastages and the world is realizing it as well. If it is not well with Nigeria, it is not going to be well with the United Kingdom. God created human beings that humanity needs to come back. Nigeria is the hope of the black nation; it is the biggest black nation on earth. If Nigeria fails, then there is a big problem. So, our politicians need to understand that.

    I have hobbies, I am a philanthropist and I love to empower young people to do things.

  • RAQUEL DANIEL: Volunteering helped me when I had no skills

    RAQUEL DANIEL: Volunteering helped me when I had no skills

    Raquel Daniel is passionate about children and she makes efforts catching them young to achieve a better life.  In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she opens up on the things that inspire her, becoming an orphan as a teenager, taking care of three younger siblings, getting internally-displaced children get back to school, writing books for teenagers and life as founder of the Beyond the Classroom Foundation. 

     

    TAKE us through your journey into volunteering?

    I started volunteering when I had no idea what it was called. Growing up, my late mum emphasized the importance of service to my siblings and me, so volunteering came to me naturally. She would say ‘if you serve with all your heart, you can open any door’. Service became one of my strongest values from a very young age.

    My journey into volunteering started with my mum. She lived a life of purpose and of service. She always helped anyone who came to her for help. She had a club for children where she taught them about God. She encouraged me to serve the refreshments and clean up after everyone left. That made me see everything I do as a service.

    As a teenager, I became very active in my school. I would quickly volunteer to help when there was a need. I can say for a fact that it helped me become really confident growing up. After secondary school, I got my first job while volunteering at my mum’s friend’s store. From then onwards, I continued volunteering actively everywhere I went. In my first year in university, I joined AIESEC: an international platform for young people to explore and develop their leadership potential. Being an AIESECer showed me the rewards of volunteering and further reinforced my mum’s point about service opening doors. I got my first job offer from a firm in the UK in my final year without applying. I have volunteered for a lot of nonprofits since then.

    You recently launched an online platform for volunteering. Tell us about it? Why did you decide to launch this platform?

    Yes, I recently co-founded Nzuriaiki.com, an online platform that showcases volunteer opportunities in Nigeria and connects organizations with volunteers. I decided to launch Nzuriaiki.com because volunteering helped me gain skills when I had no skills to get a good job. I was orphaned as a teenager and was left to cater to my three younger brothers. Needing a job but having no work experience, I decided to volunteer for free to build up my capacity, which is something my mum always emphasized anyway. Through volunteering, I developed professional, technical and soft skills such as leadership and critical thinking but most importantly it boosted my self-confidence. Prior to getting into university, I used those skills to apply for jobs which I got easily. The skills I learned during my time volunteering gave me the opportunity to find flexible part-time jobs allowing me to earn and continue to take care of my siblings while paying my way through school.

    I decided to launch this platform because organizations want certain skills and work experience which a lot of graduates don’t have. Seeing that volunteering worked for me, I believe it is a solution that can tackle the problem of unemployment in Nigeria. This is because by serving and giving your time, this can turn up to learning or earning opportunity.

    Tell us about some of your volunteering activities and causes? For a very long time, I didn’t use the word “founder” as my title for the Beyond the Classroom Foundation. I see myself privileged to lead this non-profit in the last ten years first as a volunteer than the initiator. We are focused on two causes: education and sexual and reproductive health education for girls. We enrolled 107 children at the Karon Majigi Internally displaced persons (IDP) camp in Abuja back to school in September 2019 and renovated a primary school in Lagos through a partnership with one of Nigeria’s leading banks in February 2020. Because we work with children and girls, when COVID-19 struck, we immediately provided learning materials to 200 children at the Karon Majigi IDP camp, extending it to other children outside the 107 we enrolled in school. During the lockdown, we also raised funds and provided food items to over 800 families with children and sanitary pads for about 700 girls through the pads in a pandemic project.

    While distributing free food items to families during the lockdown, I noticed a need and quickly designed ‘There is a New Virus in Town’, a coronavirus awareness book for children. So far, we have printed and distributed 2,000 copies of the book to children in Abuja, Lagos and Port Harcourt.

    These are some of the volunteering activities I’ve been involved in within the last year.

     What should spur people to get engaged in volunteering?

    The benefit of volunteering is enormous. After over a decade working in the non-profit space in Nigeria, I have seen firsthand how volunteer work broadens and deepens experiences of volunteers, providing them skill development in a way that is often not possible or available to them elsewhere. With the unemployment rate in Nigeria at 55.7%, young people are desperately looking for jobs. I believe knowing the benefit of volunteering can spur young people into volunteering.

    This year has witnessed a pandemic and protests; do you think more people got engaged with volunteering for these causes more than ever?

    Due to the pandemic, there has been an increase in online volunteering and lower turnout for physical volunteering activities across the world. What we’ve seen is that some nonprofit organizations currently have no ongoing projects, while others are working on the frontlines. These organizations working on the frontline have recorded a higher increase in the number of volunteer turnout. Even though the pandemic affected physical volunteering, it caused a rise in online volunteering. I allowed more people to give their time to organizations they believe in without leaving their homes.

    You have written a couple of books and most recently, ‘Flow’. What informed this decision?

    I wrote my first book, ‘Flow’, out of the desire to reach more girls with the message of menstruation. When I learned about menstruation in school, the focus was only on the biology of the menstrual cycle. The lessons left out useful information about our bodies’ anatomy and the use of sanitary products. I remember educating my friends in secondary school and many were utterly surprised by how I knew what I was teaching them. When I told them my father had taught me, they all couldn’t believe it.

    Raquel Daniel
    Raquel Daniel

    I wrote this book to help girls understand and learn about the changes in their bodies in a funny, easy and relatable way. The book includes details girls need to know about puberty, preparing for their first period, managing period cramps and types of sanitary products to use. In the book, I spoke about how my late father taught me all I needed to know about menstruation, shared my personal experiences, practical advice and information on managing menstruation. I believe this book will impact girls positively because, beyond sharing about menstruation and hygiene, I shared personal experiences and spoke about my late father. ‘Flow’, the menstruation book for girls, was designed to address the real concerns every young girl goes through during puberty. A lot of girls grow up without any knowledge of puberty and menstruation,  and I desire that the book guides and helps any girl who reads it navigate through the world of puberty with ease.

    As a mum, wife, speaker and inspiration to a lot of young people, how do you manage these portfolios and still be at your best?

    (Laughing) I always baulk at this question because it has been difficult, but I think I’m finding my way. After I had my daughter, it was hard to focus on a lot of things, and sometimes, I barely made it to the end of the day with my sanity still intact. As a working mum with a demanding schedule, it sometimes feels utterly impossible to be everything to everyone, all the time. I was constantly pulled in all directions and the weight of the fact that every time I choose to focus my attention in one area of my life, I am by default not choosing someone or something else keeps me up at night. I got to a place where I finally told myself: ‘Girl, you can do it all by yourself’. Yes, I still have a lot on my plate, and I try to manage them pretty well now with the help of scheduling apps, calendar reminders, my assistant, family and my amazing husband. This is not to say I am not failing at other things, but the things I deem as important always come first and that I take very seriously.

    What is your advice to women seeking ways to balance home front and career, while being at their best?

    In between working and raising a family, you’re going to face some struggles depending on your circumstances. But it is your tenacity to believe in yourself and your resilience that will help you stand firm even if you don’t balance it all.

    I’d advise, find a support system! My family has been my greatest source of strength and support. So, look around you and see where you can find support either physically or emotionally.

    Also, you don’t have to say yes to every single invitation or extracurricular activity. Determine how much your schedule can handle and choose the activities that you can handle without burning out. Don’t feel bad when you have to say no. Remember that it is possible to have both a successful career and a fulfilling family life. It may not look exactly like how you pictured it, but just give it your best and take it one day at a time.

    You have worked with teenage girls for over 10 years. Any advice for young girls.

    Believe in yourself! Be bold and take chances! Be authentic! Invest in yourself, including making time to network, find mentors, and eventually, become a mentor to others. Don’t sell yourself short. Go after opportunities, even if you’re not sure you can do them. This is a great way to grow.

    What next should we expect from you?

    I am working on two new books to be released in 2021. Not to give too much away, but to fuel your curiosity, one will be a comic for boys.

    December 5th is International Volunteer Day. I want to use this opportunity to encourage any young person or anyone unemployed interested in developing a new skill or gaining practical experience in a certain field to consider volunteering with a nonprofit organization.

    If you have a phone or computer, you can consider online volunteering. This might take the form of managing their social media accounts, engaging in research, designing a website, or translating documents to other languages.

    If you have limited time, no transportation, or a physical disability that inhibits you from getting around freely, online volunteering is the perfect fit for you. Employers prefer hiring fresh graduates with volunteer experience. It shows commitment and a sense of responsibility. If you’re an undergraduate, now is the time to start volunteering. Don’t just sit at home doing nothing. You can visit Nzuriaiki to find organizations that need your support.

  • When a woman wants something

    When a woman wants something

    By Vera Chidi-Maha

    There is a general misconception that for a woman to get to the top of her career, she must use what God has endowed her with or what people call bottom power. This is so wrong. The truth is you can take everything away from a woman, but never underestimate a woman’s determination.

    When a woman wants to succeed, nobody can stop her. Have you ever seen a desperate woman looking for the fruit of the womb? I tell you, she will move God to give her the baby even if it is not His will! A woman can get to any length she desires to achieve what she is determined to get.

    Below is a true life story of a woman that decided and actually succeeded against all odds: After I left my last place of work, I promised myself two things. First, I will not to be a small fish in a big ocean and second fiddle again. I decided that neither my gender nor the erroneous but common perception of career women will ever deter me.

    So, when the opportunity came for me to occupy the position of Managing Director in Adreality Limited, I saw it as a chance to prove myself as a first-class career woman. Of course, I don’t expect you to believe that it was easy getting my husband’s consent, though he eventually succumbed.

    What I did not expect was the total opposition of the management and staff to a female MD. Not that they cared much about my capabilities, their problem was my gender: the fact that I am a woman. My greatest support came from the Board of Directors, which was actually worried about the survival of the company, and whose members were very pleased to find in me a trustworthy and seemingly capable hand to manage the affairs of the company.

    The chairman’s wife was another potential opposition, but I just refused to get personal with her, no room for anything else but business. The dissidents, as I call them, are my management team, the staff and the male chauvinists among us. Because I was fully aware that people generally resist change, I did not allow any distraction to make me lose focus. So, I decided to take all of them in my strove, the more they strife with me, the more I went about doing what I was employed to do. I am of the view that I can achieve what I put my mind to achieve. Gender, to me, has never and will never be a barrier. I practically moved the staff to work because I know it is the price for success.

    The women in my office were not left out of this group. As a matter of fact, they were the leaders of the dissident group. We have only three of them, but they were enough to cause chaos if given the chance. My secretary, the chief protagonist, refused totally to understand and accept that a woman like here, in Africa, should be at the helm, other than in the ministry or somewhere else but in Adreality.

    What does such a woman know? To her, it is not right, something is wrong somewhere. The present persistent rumour is that my humble self, the Managing Director of Adreality, is having an affair delves with my chairman. Why me? How did it come to this? Have they forgotten so soon that I am a married woman with kids? What is my sin? I can answer this question in one sentence, simple; I am a woman that is trying to succeed in a world where men failed.

    How dare I attempt to aspire? There is no room to consider excellence, academic qualifications, not brilliance nor could success be deducted for making a woman an MD. She can only be seen as a harlot who got the job because of her wayward lifestyle. Of course, it is only men that have all the outstanding qualities of an MD.

    You see, the absurd raffle draw that apportioned the destinies of Africa women: two people (male and female) starting off even as identical twins in the morning will quite easily find themselves in the evening, one as president dishing out instructions to the people and the other, the female, a house warmer or maid, jumping at the whims and caprices of the President.

    I know I am not in the first list of women to be so achieved. As a matter of fact, I have read severally, of how women at the helm both young and old have been ceaselessly accused of sleeping their way to the top. Especially in show business, no one is believed to have gotten up there without one godfather or the other.

    Sometime ago, there was a paid advert by a former top Nigerian official refuting allegations of the rumour of having affairs with somebody inside Aso Rock Villa. At that time, she was in her fifties. But for goodness sake, was the rumour intended to smear her reputation because she took the bold step of aspiring to an elite position? This is a woman that went through trials before the senators and successfully justified her position.

    Ironically, women oftentimes are the reason for most of these attacks. We are very unfair to ourselves. Take my secretary for instance. To appreciate her role in all this, let me give you an insight into how we work. My chairman has closed for the day. As a matter of fact, my employment interview took place long after working hours, 7:30pm, to be precise so it has been the usual practice for me to stay behind after others had closed. And to make the job easier, I usually ask my secretary to wait behind also. Now, because my secretary is from the old school, I am planning to review their salaries upward, of course, and it will need a little bit of arm-twisting to get my chairman to approve it.

    So, if it means sitting up with the chairman all night to defend this budget proposal, I will do it. And guess what? The secretary will not be staying behind with me; the last thing I need is a nosy secretary who would tip toe into the boardroom halfway through my presentation.

  • Do women lose their womanliness in the political space?

    Do women lose their womanliness in the political space?

    By Nnedinso Ogaziechi

    The world, including Nigerians have been praising the election of Vice-President-elect of America, Kamala Harris as a great milestone for women in politics. Significant as that is, Africa and other countries have produced female Presidents, Prime Ministers and other types of heads of governments before the United States and the United Kingdom. So, economic and technological powers of the world are trailing in terms of women in politics and that is not even going back to the African Amazons era and the Queens that colonial masters met and discouraged their acceptance and powerful positions for their own politico-economic expediences.

    Burundi blazed the trail with the first woman Prime Minister, Sylvie Kiningi. Liberia followed with President Ellen Sirleaf Johnson. Joyce Banda from Malawi became the President of Malawi from 2012-2014. The first female Prime Minister in the World was Sirimavo Bandaranaike of Sri Lanka in 1960. She was democratically elected before the famed British Female Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.

    Whether the narrative is skewed in a certain form or the other, women around the world have held and are still holding different but equally  significant political positions. Angela Merkel is holding forte in one of the strongest European economies. Women are leaders in New Zealand, Finland, Iceland , South Korea etc.

    While the debate about gender parity in Nigerian politics rages, the RoundTable Conversation had a chat with Wilson Ideva, a Chartered accountant and Managing Director of First Guarantee Pension Ltd. He describes himself as a non-partisan Nigerian but very interested in good governance seeing the value of that to the growth of global economies. To him, Nigerians must think seriously about good and functional  leaderships from the ward to the highest  levels.

    He believes that women are more dedicated when it comes to leadership and personal leadership skills should be paramount. Gender to him does not imbue anyone with skills. He believes that strong and ambitious women do not want to fail in any assignment as they go all out to prove their worth and capacity. Leadership is not just occupying a space, it is very demanding and it demands the very best of skills and willingness to serve the people who are the reason for governments.

    Decision making is about polished skills and competence and has nothing to do with gender. A Biden has nominated a lot of women to key cabinet positions because they are in a system that recognizes competence as key. As usual, the nominated people, varied as they would all be thoroughly screened by the Senate of the United States. Here then is the difference between Nigerian politics and the rest of the world. The screening processes are normally very thorough as experts in various fields would ask all the necessary questions to make sure the nominees have earned their positions.

    On the contrary Wilson says, successive Nigerian Presidents usually just send the nominees to the Senate without portfolio and the Senate perfunctorily just asks some questions seemingly to fulfill all righteousness. In some bizarre cases, no questions are even asked as some nominees often tagged ‘friends of the house’ because they held certain political offices in the past are told to ‘bow-and-go’. This has had very devastating effect on the economy as it seems that competence is not often a priority to the Senators whose core   legislative duty is maintaining checks and balances on the executive.

    He believes that gender questions should not even be an issue in leadership, the right human must get the job. Margaret Thatcher was a very popular British Prime Minister and the former Chief Executive Officer of Pepsico, one of the world’s best brands, Indra Nooyi achieved tremendous success for the company. Position has nothing to do with gender. At the level of leadership, personal issues and interests must not come in. Women have led many corporations and often show more honesty than men. This is not saying women are saints but experiences have shown that women are more transparent in leadership due to their nurture and nature.

    There must be equity and the leadership emergence processes are faulty currently even when processes ought to lead to get the best. The idea of percentages for women in leadership like the Beijing 35% to him   is flawed. Let there be fairness and equity so that the best individuals can emerge. Wilson believes that an inclusive leadership process is always better than one that excludes and he believes that the Nigerian political space can be sanitized if everyone of the elite gets back to their roots to re-orientate the people who have been deceived for long by some selfish politicians who use exclusion to their advantage.

    When a country is serious about leadership, gender should not be the issue because education in this century has enabled more women to be more educated and as such their leadership capacity cannot be questioned based on their  gender alone. Nigeria will certainly be in a better position with more inclusiveness based on capacity and readiness to serve.

    Lade Bunuola, a veteran journalist and former Managing Director of The Guardian believes on the other hand that the problem of the world today is the fact that women have left their traditional roles to seek leadership. Women are not supposed to be in public office. They lose their womanliness when they leave their roles as advisers and nurturers to men. Women originally were made to guide the men from afar  to be better leaders and not to exhaust themselves leading.

    He quotes the famous statement by the wife of one of France’s most successful leaders, Charles de Gaulle  that she rules the home while he leads the country. The humans are no longer living the ways they are supposed to live. I know it sounds strange but we have to go back to the basics. Women are supposed to receive guidance and pass on to men. Men are supposed to take decisions and then carry out duties of governance. When women get involved in public service, they lose those abilities to be advisors to men and that is why the wold is upside down. Biden by the appointment of those women he has nominated is making very grave mistake.

    The women do damage to their nature when they get involved in politics. Women must rule over men who rule over the world. When women realize that capacity of leading men from the home, the sky will be their limit. Men are strong but women are powerful and power is greater than strength.

    Women are already powerful home leaders and should not get involved in public affairs. However, it is not for lack of capacity but it is about their role in life. Looked at dispassionately, women have the power, while men have the strength in ways that women can influence men to be better leaders rather than seeking to usurp the roles of men.

    He believes that throughout history, women have been known to have power over men in ways that the men do not fail to obey. Men listen to the women in their lives, either as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters or girlfriends and often get them to act in ways that they might not ordinarily. Men often do not say no to women and it is not a weakness but just the way they were created ab initio.

    Once women get their own leadership roles over men right, men will no longer fumble. Let’s even take a simple example, the women are the ones corporate organizations send out for marketing because they have the power of persuasion and that is not in a negative sense. It is usually difficult for a man to say know in instances where a woman is trying to tell them about a good produce or service. This is because nature has made it that women are more intuitively honest and the men trust them a lot.

    The mere presence of a woman makes a lot of difference. Imagine how intuitive mothers are at home. Sometimes they can sense when a child in another country is ill even when the man is with the child physically. It is because the woman has been imbued by nature to be that leader in ways a man cannot access. He believes that women are better off without venturing into politics.

    The RoundTable conversation found these two men almost on a parallel line in their convictions about women’s role in politics and leadership in public service. However, the global existential realities can be weighed on both sides of the coin. What is important to note is that every man or woman, child or adult depend on the overall contributions of everyone at home and in the public service to live and flourish fully as a complete human being.

    The home is as important as the public. In essence, we have to work out the best ways to maximize the human capacity. It does not matter the tags and positions that are tagged. The capacity of the human spirit to regenerate ideas that propel growth and optimal functionality must be what drives the human interactions. An exclusion of either gender at both ends can only spell chaos.

    What Nigeria needs is a profound acknowledgment of the problems at hand, despair and nonchalance cannot be a productive option. The leadership emotion process in the country must be built in ways that engenders development in those countries that we see as models even if imperfect in their systemic organizations. No system is perfect including the hitherto beacon of democracy, the US as recent events have shown but the human capacity to grow and re-adapt is endless. We must make conscious efforts to rejig our electoral processes.

    • The dialogue continues…
  • Gaining respect in your relationship

    Gaining respect in your relationship

    Rois Ola

    Being respected by your partner doesn’t just come to you like a free recharge card, you have to earn it and earn I mean work for it. It is everyone’s desire to be respected and not taken for granted by the one they love. Lack of respect kills intimacy, it destroys so many things and can crash all the precious things you have built with your partner.

    Respect is a powerful tool in every relationship. It is one of the major things that keep people happy together. Sometimes, people confuse respect and love as the same thing.

    In fact, they are two different things. Love and respect are two key ingredients of a healthy relationship. The following tips will help you to gain respect from your partner; In some relationships there is an equal amount of power and respect, and in others, one partner holds most of the power. To make things even more complicated, the power can shift at different points in your relationship. Maybe in the beginning you two never thought of power and respect because it felt equally distributed. But then, as time went on, you noticed things shifting and you felt like your boyfriend or girlfriend somehow had more power. Wait a second, weren’t you the Beyoncé of this couple? Or the Angelina Jolie? Power tussle sometimes can be complicated. Pride too causes power tussles and respect easily can be undermined making the other person feeling used and foolish.

    It’s normal for the power dynamic to shift in a relationship. Many things could have made the partnership structure change. But once it has swayed into a new direction (one that you may not love), how do you get on equal footing?

    Below are some ways you can gain some respect in your relationship, it may not address all, but it will address some aspects. I hope you gain some things from it to do better in your relationship

    1. Learn to speak up

    One way to become more powerful is to use your voice. Be clear about your wants and needs. If you don’t speak up for yourself, who else will? Remember, your partner ain’t no Syliva Browne, he or she can’t read your mind. Therefore, you need to use your words and tell him/her what you want and need in your partnership. One very good way to gain your partner’s respect is to speak up. People that are vocal always find it easy to gain respect everywhere. You can also apply this to your relationship. Use your voice. Your partner can’t read your mind. Therefore, you have to speak for yourself. When you are offended, let them know. And it’s very important to learn how to communicate with your partner effectively. As this will improve your relationship and help you gain respect from your partner drastically.

    1. Learn to be more independent

    It should not be mistaken that being strong and independent doesn’t mean you don’t need your partner in any way, it just shows that you are capable of doing things on your own, as a powerful individual. Being able to be self-sufficient while in a relationship is very important. Your partner will admire you for this strength which in turn will favor you.

    1. Learn to have boundaries

    Having boundaries is important Everyone has their own set of rules and boundaries that they are comfortable with. You will have boundaries in your relationship and it’s vital you keep them. There are some things that will cross the line for you and you need to be able to draw that line firmly.

    1. Learn to treat yourself the way you want others too

    Instead of following the yellow brick road, how about you follow the golden rule. An easy way of gaining respect is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. If you want respect and consideration you have to give it to your partner as well. If you don’t respect yourself, then who else will? It starts with yourself. You have to show how you want to be treated. This will come through with how you treat yourself. How do you talk about yourself? Do you give yourself any power? How do you view yourself? Take a moment to truly think about how you respect yourself. Remember, confidence is contagious.

    1. Learn to keep your word

    Saying something and doing the opposite is one way to quickly lose respect. Actions speak louder than words, this is not a new phrase to you I believe.  especially in relationships. So, if you tell your partner that there will be certain repercussions for something and you don’t follow through, he or she won’t take you seriously, ever again . so follow through all the time. Or even if you make a small promise to your lover, you must keep it. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.

    1. Learn to not settle for less

    There’s nothing more confident and attractive as somebody who knows what he or she deserves. If you’re in a relationship where your partner knows he or she can get away with anything, well then, your power and respect have already gone out the window. Stand up for yourself and don’t be afraid to walk away from a relationship that isn’t beneficial to you.

    No one wants an indolent partner. A hard-working partner is always respected. Ensure that you do well at work and gain more accomplishment. Give your partner a reason to be proud of you. Give them the opportunity to show you off. You can’t gain your partner’s respect if you are indolent. The hard truth is that no one likes to be associated with a loser. Your partner wants to look at you and be proud. This will boost your confidence and respect with your partner. I wish you all the best

  • Make the right choice when coming to Canada

    Make the right choice when coming to Canada

    By Adodo Eddy Osaman

    My name is Adodo Eddy Osaman and I’m a Nigerian in Canada. For the past few years, I have been guiding lots of individuals and families in choosing the right path to their travel dreams. Today I will be sharing with you one of the many things you won’t hear many people talk about Canada (you know na).

    Canada is currently the most desirable country to live in the world and a great place to Immigrate to. But on a serious note, living in Canada can be a thing, especially in big cities like Toronto (aka ‘The 6ix’), Montreal, Calgary and co.

    A lot of people build castles in the air when traveling abroad, but when coming to a place like Canada, it’s better to keep your expectations low.

    Your average monthly expenses:

    Now let’s look at your average monthly expenses as an individual living to Canada:

    – Rent (studio or apartment): $600 – $1,400 – Internet: $80 – Phone bill: $50- Bus: $160 – Gas (If you’ve got a car): $100 – Insurance (If you’ve got a car): $300 – Groceries: $500 (variable by lifestyle) – Miscellaneous: $500 (variable by lifestyle)

    Total Expense: $2,200 (Average) 

    Average minimum wage in Canada: $11.06 per hour (you can as well do the Math).

    If you’re coming on student visa, better be prepared. Work and study to foot your bills is a mirage, especially if you’ve got no financial support from elsewhere.

    International students are only allowed 20hours of work per week. You can only work full-time (40hours per week and above) during holidays or breaks.

    My recommendation: Studying in Canada is good, but obtaining Canadian Permanent Residency is far cheaper and better. If you cannot handle the process yourself, seek help from an Immigration consultant. If in overall you’re unfit to pursue your Canadian dreams, there are other great countries you can explore. Places even better than Canada. Be open to other options. Don’t follow popular demand.

    There’s no sugarcoating with Eddy. I’ll tell you the truth. Take it or leave it.

    • If you want to chat more with me, reach out on Instagram: @eddyosaman. Email: hello@eddyosaman.com, Website: www.eddyosaman.com
  • Guys can be virgins till their wedding night!

    Guys can be virgins till their wedding night!

    DEAR Aunty Temilolu, I am 30 and a virgin! I just got out of a 3-year-toxic relationship late last year. Whenever I was under pressure to compromise and fornicate, I will visit your face book timeline/Google-search your articles and my brain will immediately reset. I have since vowed to remain a virgin until marriage. Thank you for all you do ma. May God bless you!

    Doyin

     

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,

    At age 22, I have no girlfriend because I desire a great future and to be sincere, things are really working out for me. I see great things happening in my life every day. My friends mock me for not having a girlfriend and some have even gone further in their thinking believing I’m a gay but I know myself, I trust God and I know I’m very fit! How do I stand these friends who taunt me every day for not having a girlfriend?

     

    Emmanuel

    Dear Emmanuel,

    I must commend your stand in a depraved world as this and at a time when most of your age mates have been overcome by the spirit of the world and fleshly lust and can’t but sample as many ladies as they can! If only they knew what they were doing to themselves! You can’t imagine the beautiful foundation, you’re laying for a glorious and most enviable future, you can’t imagine the altitude you would find yourself in life someday neither can you fathom the power of God welling up in you. I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

    I tell you a lot of men would have fared better in life if they guarded their loins jealously. A real man is one who cannot be controlled by that which he should be master over! Most guys have gotten themselves embroiled in an emotional/spiritual quagmire which has hampered their development and growth at a time when they should be concentrating on their studies, self-development and laying a solid foundation for a successful life!

    A lot have had their virtues and what should make them shine in life practically swallowed by demonic ladies. A lot are under curses from girls they raped, deceived, slept with and dumped! With God’s stamp on those curses! If only some guys knew what covenant they were entering into while deflowering girls, they would be more careful! Not everyone gets away with things that weigh heavily in the spirit realm!

    Asides that, an average lady you sleep with would expect you take care of her material needs as well as her emotional needs. You begin to stress and drain yourself of what should give you the much-needed comfort to pursue your education/career. What if she gets pregnant? Are you ready to have a baby? Why go through the hassles of becoming a baby father or having blood in your hands as a result of terminating a pregnancy? You are too wise my brother! Forget about your ignorant friends and face the wonderful future ahead of you. By the time God starts revealing the glory ahead of you, you won’t remember anything they said. You would instead laugh at their stupidity! You certainly don’t need their approval. Believe me, once you get into premarital sex, I’m afraid you become unstoppable and eventually give the devil too much access into your life!

    The whole world lies in great mystery and wickedness and the devil-our common enemy is raging so wildly and wishes to have a grip over as many destinies as possible and dispossess them of their natural entitlements. One of such ways as I emphasize here is ungodly sex. Why would you want to go against your source-God and live a life of struggle and hardship? The devil has turned too many girls and women to weapons of mass destruction because they refuse to have a deep relationship with God and have a grip over their souls. The devil cashes in on their superficiality and possesses them with all sorts of bad spirits that they might not even be aware of. And just one of these bad spirits which are virtue vamps, could divert the course of a man’s destiny.

    Generations are in trouble today and till eternity, because one man could not bridle his loins! Fantastic stars have been shot down and rendered useless on earth because their father slept with and married a strange woman who wanted to reign supreme! There’s much more on this coming your way to encourage guys out there to remain chaste till their wedding night! May The Power Of God Overshadow The Life Of Every Man Reading This In Jesus Mighty Name!

    • To be continued!

  • The girl-child: Sexual/domestic violence and subdued leadership dreams

    The girl-child: Sexual/domestic violence and subdued leadership dreams

    By Nnedinso Ogeziechi

    It is exactly one year this November that Nigeria launched its first National Sex Offenders Register. It signposted the launching of a sex offenders database of those convicted for sexual violence since 2015. Sadly, of the 36 states in Nigeria, only two states, Lagos and Ekiti have launched their own Sexual Offenders Register. Names have been published in Ekiti. Three men, Ajayi Peter, a 51 year old man, who was convicted for raping a 12 year old girl, Basiru Adeyanju for the sexual assault of a 17 year old girl and one Rev. Asateru Gabriel for sexually violating a 7 year old.

    All their details including addresses have been published and in the Sexual offences register in Ekiti state. It is curious that the other states including the Federal capital territory, Abuja has not deemed it appropriate to domesticate the law which in the very least can serve as deterrent to some future rapists, pedophiles and Incestuous sexual perverts. The lockdown periods recorded an increase in the number of victims of sexual and other domestic violence against girls, women and sometimes young boys too.

    The Roundtable Conversation in digging into reasons for the lack of gender parity in political leadership in Nigeria has discovered that beyond some socio-cultural and religious factors that discourage women from full participation in politics in the country sexual violence from very early age has been discovered as one danger that socially and psychologically beat down the girl-child. The mental consequences of sexual violence on the girl-child and women are enormous.

    OkigboDr. Ann Okigbo, a former Health Specialist at the World Bank and an International Consultant on Social  and Community Development expressed shock that just like many policies that are not followed through to implementation, the National Sex Offenders Register seems not to appeal to a lot of state governments seeing that they have not done anything since last year that it was launched.  Having been in the health sector for many years, she believes that successive Nigerian governments have not really taken the health sector seriously enough given that despite the 26% UN global benchmark for budgetary allocation to the health sector, Nigeria has always done below 10% which invariably shows that a lot is left undone and adolescent  sexual health gets affected too.

    According to Okigbo,  successive  governments seem to always appear lethargic in implementing treaties and global agreements that  they are signatories to. She insists that governments must realize that girls grow into women and if they must contribute to leadership or be optimally productive in the country, their sexual health must be taken care of. Girls and women must be protected by the state from sexual predators and although the laws are there, the issue of implementation does not always get the needed fillip.

    She points out that being a signatory to the Child Rights act, Nigeria must make sure that every child’s rights are protected fully. However, there is the erroneous assumption that sexual rights of children do not matter but they actually do. Studies have shown that sexual violence in all forms against the girl-child is one huge emotional stumbling block against full development. There is a defeatist attitude that mentally traumatizes every child for life after being sexually abused.

    According to her, the trauma of sexual violence leads the girl-child to self-disqualify. The child whose innocence is stolen grows up with very low sense of self and sees leadership aspirations as belonging to only her ‘conqueror’ – the male. It deprives the girl-child of any aspiration for leadership roles because a false sense of power had been used to subjugate them.  In an era of increasing pedophilia and incestuous relationships often covered by some close family members, most victims get too traumatized to even carry out routine exercises of life. Some of them either self-harm or commit suicide or become perennially suicidal.

    Dr. Okigbo believes that some women are enablers of sexual violence as in most cases they either choose not to believe some reports of sexual  abuses or they prefer to keep their marriages than hand over sexual offenders to the authorities. To her, the girl child must grow in a condusive physical and mental state and be availed basic education to fully participate as the second viable engine for any economy. When only men are involved in leadership, it is akin to a plane running on a single engine.

    Usiobaifo
    Usiobaifo

    Priscilla Usiobaifo, a gender advocate who runs an NGO that promotes women’s Sexual  and Civil rights especially in the rural  areas.  Their area of emphasis includes young and adolescent sexual health. Serving in the Edo State Service providers Accountability Resource Committee (SPARC) , she has been in a position to interface with young and adolescent girls in the rural communities and has seen the impact of sexual violence on the young girls and fears that if drastic and urgent actions are not taken, the gender gap in Nigerian politics would continue to widen for generations.

    Her organization has had countless encounters with young victims of sexual violence and in her estimation, she is merely talking of some rural communities in Edo state. The young girls continually report bizarre cases of sexual violations at home, in churches and in schools, the three very vital places for the young. She seems shocked that as one tries to address the sexual violence from outside, the incestuous pedophiles are many and so many young ladies are literarily not safe anywhere leading to all forms of psychological trauma. Some become outcasts at home. Some refuse to go back to school because of sexual harassment and no one seems to take their complaints seriously.

    Priscilla feels that governments can surely do more to provide for the sexual and reproductive health of the young ladies because most of them do not have the luxury of home mentors and some are so poor they cannot even avail themselves of sanitary items for their monthly periods and in most cases their mothers are too poor or ignorant to pursue any case legally. It is always embarrassing to the young ladies and it does affect them psychologically.

    According to her, her organization has intervened accessfully in the prosecution of over 200 cases of sexual abuses and secured a paltry 16 convictions of sexual offenders in Edo State. Unfortunately, one of the most pathetic cases her organization succeeded in getting a conviction for, a man convicted of incest recently escaped during the recent jail brake in Edo Correctional facility. She feels a personal sense of loss over that incident.

    As one involved in the Adolescent and young people’s sexual health advocacy, she believes that governments at all levels must as a matter of urgency activate the plans to protect young girls. Part of the works her NGO does is to sensitize young girls to aspire for leadership in all areas and grow up to be active participants in the leadership of their communities and country.

    They teach them to be confident and assertive and make their voices heard at home and in school. However, they were shocked when a ten year old girl stood up and narrated how the father has been violating her sexually and that singular voice led to more of the girls coming forward with series of sexual violations by adults. So invariably the average young girl is endangered as young boys and adults harass them in various ways sexually.

    Having heard those cases, Priscilla said they decided to open the door of their offices to document and handle sexual abuse and harassment cases and it is bone-chilling the reports and the number of young girls that have come in to narrate gory and bizarre cases to her organization.  So invariably the girl-child is a victim of parents in some cases, victim of neighbours or relations, some youth corpers serving in their schools etc.

    So to her, better protective plans must be made by all governments because the cases are legion and once there is a violation, the victim needs medical attention, social security, psyco-social support, police investigation, legal aides etc. and no one NGO can handle all these given the number of cases on a daily basis.

    Both Dr. Okigbo and Priscilla believe that the governments at all levels in Nigeria have to stop playing the ostrich by pretending not to know the effect of sexual and domestic violence on the girl-child.  Sexual violence happens as a show of physical, economic, social or religious power.  Many girls across the country are victims of sexual and domestic violence and their development is often stalled.

    It amounts to shooting themselves in the foot to continue to ignore the devastating psychological impact of sexual and domestic violence in the country. A beaten-down girl can never have the confidence to raise her voice when it matters most. If the governments do nothing to curb sexual violence, only men would continue to bear the burden  of leadership in the country and no mono-governance economy progresses as much as an inclusive leadership where opportunities exist for both male and female children on equal basis.

    Investing in education and re-orientation of the people is a key step to take. However, it is curious that most governments in the country do not think of the long term implication of the sexual violations of the girl-child and women.  Something as ordinary as the domestication of the National Sex Offender’s Register one year after the launching has like most things been like the idiomatic onion on hot oil noise which is very transient. It might not be the absolute solution but it could serve as deterrent.

    That the country is today the poverty capital of the world is traceable to the absence of more women in leadership positions. Ironically again, the same men inflict sexual and domestic violence on the girls and women. Sadly too, the life expectancy of Nigerian men is very low, in fact one of the global lowest because the economic and social burden seem too much on the men – a problem they bring daily unto themselves. Is this not a case of one cutting the nose to spite his face?

     

    The dialogue continues…

  • ‘Why most Nigerian immigrants have problems with UK authorities’

    ‘Why most Nigerian immigrants have problems with UK authorities’

    Chief Bimbo Roberts Folayan is former chairman, Central Association of Nigerians in the United Kingdom (CANUK). The former People’s Bank chief turned civil rights activist was one of the prominent Nigerians in the clamour for the restoration of the presidential mandate of the late business mogul, Bashorun M.K.O. Abiola after the annulment of the June 12, 1993 election. With the then head of state, Gen. Sani Abacha growing more and more intolerant of the clamour for Abiola’s mandate, Bimbo, as he is fondly called, had to flee the country like other pro-democracy activists, escaping to Europe through a route now popularly called the NADECO route. He continued his activism in London thereafter and later became CANUK’s chairman. In this interview with PAUL UKPABIO, he shares his experience living abroad for more than two decades, the widening gap between Nigerians at home and abroad, and why the People’s Bank in Nigeria collapsed, among other issues.

    You have lived outside Nigeria for more than two decades now. Are you in some kind of exile?

    Yes, it is more like being in exile. But then, it is a two-way thing. First of all, east or west, home is usually the best. But somehow, I found myself abroad because of the annulment of the June 12, 1993 election which was won by MKO Abiola. I was an activist, and that was what took me abroad.

    You were comfortable as a banker. Why go into activism?

    I had a good job. I was working as a senior manager in a finance mortgage bank. But when that election was annulled, some of us formed the June 12 movement and we campaigned against the military. I was arrested and detained a couple of times. My wife was pregnant with our first son and we just got married. I decided to travel abroad to hide in exile just for a few months.

    The thing with abroad is that once your wife starts to have children, you have to make a decision whether to stay with your children or come back home. When Abacha died, I decided to stay with my children. But I am home in Nigeria these days three times a year. I am not the typical Nigerian who lives abroad. My heart is always in Nigeria.

    In those days that you were at the People’s Bank in Lagos, what was it like working with the legendary Tai Solarin and the late Mrs Maria Sokenu?

    It was brilliant. I was one of the foundation members of People’s Bank and the programe officer that set up most of the branches from Badagry up to Ojo. We were setting up the centres up to Alaba to the little towns in Agbara and all the border towns. We recruited all the staff there. It was wonderful working with a man like Tai Solarin the Chairman, who was known for integrity, Mrs Maria Sokenu too.

    Incidentally, when I came home several years later, I met Mrs Sokenu at the Abuja airport and she was joking, ‘Bimbo, you are no longer fine, you are very fat now.’ I told her I came home because I brought a Diasporan who wanted to run for governorship in Bayelsa State. The man lived in Brighton in England and was not used to Nigeria. Mrs Sokenu said, ‘You know what, I came to see Obasanjo (who was the president at the time)’. She asked me when I would be returning to England and I told her the third day. She said if I could bring my friend back in three weeks’ time, she would personally take us to Obasanjo so he could support his aspiration. She wrote her address and told me to come to an event she was to have at the Central Bank of Nigeria.

    Did you go back?

    Guess what happened, I got to England and told my friend that we should buy our tickets and go back to Nigeria to meet Mrs Sokenu. My friend said he would only buy his own ticket and that I should go and buy mine. I was upset. I told him I was the one taking him there and had the connection. He said he could not afford it, so I said I wasn’t going. That was what saved my life! I was to meet Mrs Sokenu in Lagos and we were to fly together with her in that ill-fated flight with my friend. She died in that flight. I hope one day, I will meet the children and show them that diary and the appointment we made that she wrote on my diary, the date she put there. She had met Obasanjo who gave her another appointment in three weeks. She was to take us with her on that appointment. It was a great shock to me. So sad!

    What was your perception of the People’s Bank then? Did it really meet the objectives for which it was set up? What problem would you say the bank had the most?

    I think we had teething problems. But it was a fantastic concept, because when you look at Nigeria, the economy is powered by micro and small businesses. I travelled round Nigeria and that was what I saw. And that was what People’s Bank was set up to do: finance micro/small businesses and empower the people with loans. In those days, it used to be small money but it used to be impactful on them.

    The problem we had was that of collection. A lot of people were not credit worthy in terms of paying back. We had a collection team that used to go out as a team and seize their equipment. But it was powerful. I think government should have improved on that. They came to us as cooperatives and it was effective. Government needs to revisit it to help businesses grow and take people off the job market.

    How easy was it to adapt to the lifestyle abroad on arrival? Did what you met on ground meet your expectations?

    No. A lot of us, when we travel, think that we could pick money on the streets; that life is easy. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. Living abroad was completely different. The culture shock, particularly in a conservative culture like the UK, was a complete off-balance to me. Most Nigerians are American-centric in the flashy way we do things and so on. But the UK is a different society. Te principle is based more on fairness to everybody. I think one can relocate and adapt, but it is more difficult in the UK. I have tasted both worlds, so I can say.

    How long did you stay abroad before you started visiting Nigeria?

    I was abroad for five years. I didn’t have the means of coming back to Nigeria. I didn’t have enough documentation to enable me travel home. I left in 1994 and came home in 1999 for the first time.

    After staying abroad for so many years, have the conditions you left Nigeria in changed?

    I think it has changed in some regards, because now you have the social media, and with that there has been a lot of awareness in Nigeria. It has become a global village. I have made a lot of friends that I never had in Nigeria, who are very conscious and on the same page with people across the world. Now you see people on the streets in Nigeria who are more aware. That is a major change that I have seen. But physically, I don’t think there has been too much of improvement in infrastructure. Recently I went to Agbara and on the road I saw little improvement. In the Lekki axis though, there hasbeen new development.

    At what point did you become interested in involvement with the Nigerian community in the UK?

    As soon as I landed, I identified the activists in the UK and there we had the Nigerian Democratic Movement, and then the Nigerian Forum, and NADECO was there as well, and we continued with carrying placards to the Nigerian High Commission. I saw people that I had interacted with in Nigeria as an activist; people like (former) Governor John Oyegun, his deputy Obadan, Bola Tinubu, Gen. Akinrinade, Hon. Wole Oshun, Dele Momodu and Wura Abiola. They were already there. I think Dele Momodu met us much later. There was also Tokunbo Afikuyomi. All of us were campaigning and going to the High Commission almost on a daily basis.

    When (Ken) Saro-Wiwa was to be killed, we flew to Scotland to protest. Eventually, he was killed and I was part of those who fought against the military. But after some time, the Nigerian High Commission decided to put together an umbrella body for all Nigerians in the UK. But prior to that time, there were so many organisations that claimed to be speaking for Nigerians in the Diaspora, and they were all behaving like the typical Nigerian politicians, fighting one another and even going to court to be the authentic representative until Christopher Kolade and the head of the chancery at the time came together and put a body together that could speak for all Nigerians. That was how they set up CANUK (Central Association of Nigerians in the UK).

    I was invited by some of my friends who said, ‘Bimbo, we noticed you have leadership qualities, why don’t you come and run for an elective office as chairman of the community?’ I was the second chairman of the Nigerian Community in the UK. Four years down the line, they all invited me to run for a second term but I had to decline. I was not interested, but virtually all the professional bodies were rooting for me and all the state’s associations and unions were calling on me. So I contested again and won.

    What were some of the challenges you faced leading the Nigerian community in the UK?

    One of the challenges I faced was that a lot of the Nigerians abroad still carried their ‘Nigerian-ess’ abroad. And it is always difficult for them to remove. I was a volunteer and not paid by government. Some thought I was being paid, so I was getting invitations and was also being criticised by a few people for works that I had not done. They thought it was the federal government that put me in that position to be looking after them. Meanwhile, there were no funds or budget. I was actually using my money. They put too much pressure on me and expected so much from me. Another challenge was that many Nigerians abroad always want to come back home.

    How did you handle the issue of illegal Nigerian immigrants in the UK?

    We have Nigerian professionals, barristers, who always help out on good cases and understand the immigration process. They are called Nigerian-British Law Forum. Sometimes people are picked up through random visits to houses and taken to detention centres. As soon as we are called, we go there to look it over and sometimes take care of their loads or belongings. There was a time that my apartment was filled with all manner of properties of people who were trying to sort out their immigration issues.

    What do you consider the burden of African immigrants in the United Kingdom?

    I think the main burden is culture shock, particularly Nigerian immigrants who come to western countries with African mindset and that makes it difficult for them to survive. In Nigeria, for example, people will buy houses and pay cash. In Britain, it does not work like that. In Nigeria people pay millions of naira to buy cars at once. The vast majority of people in the UK don’t do that. It is a credit driven society and that is what keeps the society going. You pay in installments as you get your income. So people come here, because they are not used to the credit system, collect credit and do not pay back. And when you don’t pay back, they score your credit low until you can’t get credit to make progress in life. In UK, things are not too flowery or colorful like it is in Nigeria or the USA. It is conservative and a lot of Nigerians can’t blend.

    Some Nigerians believe that the streets of Europe are paved with gold and even illegal migrants can survive and quickly find success within months…

    It used to be so. Immigration used to be relaxed then because you could work underground for a long time if you were an illegal immigrant. But now, immigration has been tightened and employers are now fined and landlords are not allowed to give you accommodation if you don’t have a legal status. It has now become very difficult. It is not very advisable for anyone to come into Europe without perfecting their documentations before leaving their home country.

    How can Nigerians at home benefit from the wealth of exposure that Nigerians in the Diaspora are exposed to in terms of development?

    I think Nigerians are already benefiting. I am patron to 22 organisations, and most of these organisations have their inputs in Nigeria, maybe through medical missions to Nigeria or others who come to Nigeria to give trainings for free. We even have organisations in the UK who come to Nigeria during Christmas or Ileya (Sallah) to cook food for people to eat. I know them and they relate to Nigeria well. I know some who come to Nigeria for three weeks to provide free eye glasses and treat eye problems. There is one that looks after aged people in Nigeria. Then there are women organisations and so also youth organisations, which provide lots of support to Nigeria.

    With covid-19 scourge still ongoing in some parts of Europe and some other places around the globe, what advice will you give to those considering migration, lega or illega?

    My advice would be that if you want to relocate to a country like the UK, please get a lawyer who will assist you with the legal route. Please follow the legal route because it is a lot easier. It saves you a lot of headache and heart aches. If you are a medical doctor or engineer, there are one or two examinations that you have to do. Please find out. If you come in illegally, you will be hiding and hiding and you will get jobs just to survive until you are caught and deported.

    Are you looking at coming back home to settle in the near future?

    Definitely, though I am not fully settled in Nigeria. But home is home. I have a house there and now the world is a global village and London is just six hours away. So, one can shuttle between Nigeria and the UK.

    When you are in the UK, what do you miss most about Nigeria?

    I miss the weather in Nigeria. If you grow up in Nigeria, you will know that Nigerians are loud. You go anywhere, people that you don’t know talk to you. But in the UK, people keep to themselves. So this is how we grow up, meeting people in the street and talking to them. ‘Hello brother, your cap is about falling off!’ But in the UK, if you like, wear your cap on your leg; nobody is going to say a word to you! It’s so funny.

    Another thing I miss is the attachment. On my passport is written Bimbo Robert Folayan. When I got to the airport here, an immigration officer called my name, Abimbola! They tell me most often that my name is Abimbola not just Bimbo, and even go ahead to call me Afolayan! And that makes us interact further. So this is what you can never get abroad! Nigeria is friendlier, but UK people are nicer. They are very decent people who allow us to live in their country, especially when you do the right thing. In the UK, you don’t need to know anybody. Just drop your CV and you will be called if you merit the job. But in Nigeria, even if you merit the job, you need to know people. I guess when God created these countries, He gave them different qualities.

    Nigerians in Diaspora seem to just stay in foreign lands and criticise the Nigerian government. When are we going to have Nigerians in Diaspora return home to contest elections?

    Many of them have been returning and participating. I can count many names. We have the branch offices of most Nigerian popular parties in the UK. So we have those who just criticise but we also have those who return to participate. Now there has been a clamour for Diaspora voting, but it is still work in progress. Now that we have NIDCOM and people are clamouring for it to make Nigerians abroad be able to vote, when that happens, perhaps that will motivate more people abroad into Nigerian politics.

    The truth is that we abroad struggle to get into Nigerian political parties. In fact, most Nigerians abroad are treated like second class citizens in those Nigerian political parties. I attempted it too. I joined the Nigerian political party. I spent so much money and realised that I was just used. And there are so many similar experiences like that with Nigerians in the UK.

  • How my father’s killers captured him in toilet after heavy gunshots – Son of assassinated Nasarawa APC chair

    How my father’s killers captured him in toilet after heavy gunshots – Son of assassinated Nasarawa APC chair

    By Linus Oota, Lafia

    With tears streaming down his cheeks, 20 years old Samuel Shekwo, son of the assassinated APC Chairman in Nasarawa State, could not fathom why unknown gunmen would cut short his joy by sending his father into early grave.

    The late Philip Shekwo was abducted by some gunmen last Saturday at his Lafia residence opposite Peace House on Kurikyo Road, Bukan Sidi in Lafia before his lifeless body was found the next day a few metres away from his house.

    Narrating his father’s ordeal in an interview with our correspondent, Samuel recalled that the late politician was captured by his killers in the toilet after searching extensively for him in the house.

    Samuel and mom,
    •Shekwo’s son, Samuel and •Shekwo’s widow, Larai

    He said: “On Saturday night, we were all at home. My father went to play golf and came back in around 8 pm, and I went to the parlour to greet him. He had just finished eating and was telling us how the game went when I went into my room and left him in the parlour with others as they were watching the news on television.

    “A few minutes before 10 pm, one of my course mates at Nasarawa State University called me and we were discussing the whole strike issue. Then from nowhere, I started hearing gunshots all over the house.

    “I dropped my phone without even ending the call and rushed out of my room. I went into my parents’ room first to see whether they were fine, and I saw my father coming out from his room. I started switching off the lights because I noticed that we were under attack, so that they (attackers) would not be able to see through the house.

    “I went to the parlour and was looking at them from the window. They were shooting from outside the fence. Then one of them jumped the fence into the house and used the butt of his gun to heat the gate’s padlock. He then rolled the gate to the end and the rest members of the gang started trooping in.

    “They surrounded the entire house and were shooting from different directions. While four of them were trying to gain entry into the house through the front door, another four were at the backdoor trying to gain access into the house.

    “When my father rushed to the palour, I followed him. I told him, ‘Daddy, you are not supposed to be here. These people are looking for you,’ He now told me that he was looking for his phone, and his phone was just by the side stool where he used to sit in the parlour.

    “I took the phone and gave it to him, and I escorted him back to his room. He started making calls to security agencies but nobody responded.

    Gov sule

    “I was also making contacts to see if help could come. I called a friend, Mr Dominic Bako’s son, who is actually a close friend to my father and I am friends with his son too. So, I called him and he told his father that we were under attack.

    “When I called him the second time, I could hear his father making contacts, saying that the Chairman was under attack.

    “My cousins who were staying with us were also terrified. I told them to go back to their room, lie down and stay calm. But they were worried, so I took them to my room and asked them to lie on the floor while I went back to see what was happening.

    “Throughout this period, my father was in his bedroom. But when I noticed that the pressure was much, I thought that they were armed robbers. So I went back to my room and started picking certain valid items and documents to hide. I also took my car key and laptop and hid them.

    “Later on when I started hearing their voice, I locked my door and lay down together with my cousin sisters and we were just praying. Later on, I heard two gunshots in the direction of my parents’ room. I thought they had gained access into my parents’ room and I started crying and praying.

    “That was when I started hearing voices inside the house. I also noticed that one of them was opening the back door, and I started hearing more voices inside the house. I couldn’t come out at that time because I had locked my door already.

    “They were searching round the house but they could not find my father, so they went out through the back door and were lamenting. They appeared frustrated that they could not find my father. That was when they got our security guard who normally sits at the back of the house before moving to the security post at the gate.

    “When they got the security guard, they started beating him. We were hearing them from the room as they were asking him where is Oga. He told them that Oga had travelled but they said it is a lie, that Oga was around. They were actually beating him with their machetes because even from the sound, we could hear it.

    “Later on, they asked what about the children. We heard he has a son. They were speaking in Hausa. From their ascent, you would know that they were Fulani, and they were not covering their faces.

    “When they came to my room and noticed that it was luocked, they pushed the door and forced their way in. They saw us lying down together with my cousin sisters, because my blood sisters were not around.

    “They now asked us to stand up. They asked the security guard, ‘Is this Oga’s son?’ He reluctantly nodded his head in the affirmative. Their leader now held me by my shirt and dragged me up. The other one now said since they couldn’t find my father, they should just go with me.

    “They asked me to stand up and follow them; that my father must give them the money he was enjoying from the government. As they were about going out with me, one of them with a gun noticed that one of the rooms was locked, so their attention shifted to the place.

    “They now detailed one of them to keep an eye on me and the security guard, that if I moved, he should shoot.

    “They broke the door and entered but they did not see anybody. On their way out of the room, they decided to check the toilet and noticed that it was locked. That was when they forced their way into the toilet. There they saw him and my mum.

    “Even when they had broken the toilet door, they still were not able to enter because my father was pushing from the back and they could not push their way in. Their leader now said since the door was not opening, they should shoot. One of them was about to shoot when my father released the toilet’s door and they got him.

    “One thing that baffles me is that they did not manhandle him. They were not even sure if he was the one. They were calling him Moses. They assured us that they were not going to harm him; that it was just money they wanted. He was pleading with them, begging them. My mum too was begging and pleading with them, but they said there was no need begging, it was just money they wanted.

    “They left with him and we were at home throughout that night, praying and hoping that they were going to call since they said it was money they wanted, only for us to get the sad news on Sunday afternoon that they had found his body.”

    Samuel added: “Aside my mum, I think I was the closest person to my dad, so it is even affecting me more than my sisters. I’m not grieving today because my dad died; I am grieving because someone killed him.

    “Already, he has prepared me for it. He told me so many things, though I feel with my age and everything, I’m not ready to take responsibilities. But I learnt courage and wisdom through my dad. I don’t need anybody to tell me about him.

    “I know my dad so well. He used to tell me so many things. We travelled together most times and he took me to political activities because I actually told him I wanted to be a politician and he said he was going to support me in whatever I want to do. But he said I must make a difference if I want to be a politician.

    “‘You must be a politician with a difference,’ those were his words to me. So I miss him more than anybody. But I learnt to stop crying because I know my dad is in heaven. He was a righteous man and someone that was close to God. I am praying to take over from him politically by God grace.”

    A widow in agony

    Seated in the parlour and surrounded by sympathisers at the residence of her late husband, Mrs Larai Shekwo gazed into the ceiling, murmuring some inaudible words as the reporter approached her.

    Her eyes glistened wit imminent tears as she told the reporter that she spend 35 years in marriage with the late APC Chairman before his untimely death at the age of 62.

    She said their marriage is blessed with five children, noting that her husband gave her a life that can best be describe as a fairly tale, and that she has no regrets whatsoever marrying him.

    She said: “On that fateful night, around 10:30 pm, I left him in the parlour as he was watching the news and went into the bedroom to sleep. Shortly after, I started hearing gunshots. He ran and met me in the bedroom, saying armed robbers. But from the sound of the gun, I told him they were hired killers

    “We started praying and he was making calls to the police for help. We went round the house and were running helter-skelter within the house, looking for where to hide for ourselves.

    “They broke into our bedroom but they couldn’t find us. They later found us in the toilet and we were pleading with them. They went away with him. I wanted to go with him but they flung my hand.

    “They were asking him whether he was Moses, and he said he was not Moses. They asked him are you the Chairman of the party, he said yes. So they went with him. We thought it was a normal kidnapping, so we were waiting for them to say what they needed.

    “While they were going with him, they assured us that they were not going to harm him; that it was only money they wanted. We were thinking that by daybreak, we would hear from them. Unfortunately, we only found his dead body.

    “I will miss him. I will not stop missing him till the end of the world.”

    She said her husband’s untimely death is only a temporary separation as she hopes to see him again in the bosom of the Lord.

    She said late Shekwo was a wonderful husband and father.

    “He was my best friend. My marriage was a honeymoon cut short,” she added.