The Nation Newspaper

Category: Saturday Magazine

  • Zamfara: From puritan trove to bandits’ den

    Zamfara: From puritan trove to bandits’ den

    Twenty years after Zamfara adopted the Shari’a as state law and amputated the hands of its first convicts for theft, incumbent Gov. Matawalle is offering two cows for every AK-47 rifle surrendered by ‘repentant’ bandits. This has aroused mixed feelings among victims of banditry and the first convicts by the Islamic penal code, writes Olatunji Ololade, Associate Editor

    • The infinite pains of Shari’a amputees Buba Jangebe, Lawali Isa

    • How cow thieves murdered the son of the first ‘reformed’ cow thief

    • There is only one solution to banditry – Ex-Hisbah boss

    Buba Bello aka Jangebe nurses bitter-sweet love for Zamfara. Something subtle yet feral, like clarity and haze of the same bond.

    Some days, he stirs with gratitude in his heart. Most days he wakes resigned. These days, he mops about like a wolf caught in a trap.

    Speaking with The Nation at his base in Jangebe, Zamfara State, he tiptoed across his past, through a jungle of memory and moods too harrowing to be recalled. From his son’s murder by bandits to his unpaid salaries, the 60-year-old vented in the tenor of a pawn caught in an intense chess game between life and Zamfara’s ruling class.

    He said, “My son was killed by bandits. They entered my house at night and hacked him to death in the presence of his wife and two children. I was not there. I was at work when someone came to inform me.”

    Immediately Bello heard the peace salutation from his guest, “Salaam alaykum warahmotullah wabarakatuhu,” his “heart skipped some beats” and he “knew instantly that there was serious trouble.”

    The visitor tearfully informed Bello that his eldest son, Abubakar, had been killed by cow thieves.

    “Allahu Akbar! (Allah is the Greatest), I cried to my Creator,” said Bello, humbled by the implied irony of his predicament.

    Back when he was King of his jungle, Bello attained notoriety as an expert cow thief, a skill that earned him the moniker: Buba kare garke (Buba, the exhauster of the cattle herd).

    Even though he was accused of no murder, Bello boasted about town that he could steal any cow, and that once a cow got into his compound, it would vanish for ever – and he’d never get caught.

    However, he stole this particular cow, and it did not vanish; the owner came and identified his cow. Buba confessed, and the punishment announced was amputation, in fulfillment of then governor, Sani Yerima’s campaign promise to establish the Sharia law in Zamfara.

    Attacked victims by Bandits
    •Victims of bandit attacks
    being prepared for burial
    at Talata-Mafara

    Thus in February 2000, Bello was pronounced guilty of stealing a cow and sentenced. On March 20, 2000, the government amputated his right hand according to provisions of the Islamic Shari’a.

    Bello made history as the first person in Nigeria to endure such penalty. But he said he wasn’t upset about losing his hand because it led to the end of his 12-year career as a cow thief. His notoriety ended at his conviction for stealing a cow valued at N2,640.

     

    From ill-fame to piety

    Bello refused to appeal his verdict within the 30-day window furnished him having seen his relatives, who initially ostracised him for being a thief, re-integrate him into the family. At the pronouncement of his sentence, they forgave him, and Bello thanked God for the amputation. He saw it as his atonement, his passport from notoriety to piety.

    Everyone thought the amputation had transformed him from a notorious thief into a devout Muslim, and he adamantly sought to fulfill the part. Thus he proceeded on a new path as a honest man.

    To show that his redemption was in full bloom, the government of Governor Ahmed Sani Yerima employed Bello as a messenger at the Government Secondary School (GSS), Jangebe, his hometown.

     

    Fate’s wicked humour

    His life unfurled without much incident until the gruesome murder of his first son, Abubakar. Then, several months after receiving news of his son’s murder, the state government dealt him a deadly blow. “My salary was stopped,” he said, stressing that he was employed by Governor Yerima who paid him N18, 000 monthly until there was a change of government and Governor Mahmuda Shinkafi assumed office and increased his salary to N20, 000.

    He said, “I was collecting N20, 000 monthly until my salary got stopped 12 months ago. Till date, I have not received any salary from the government. This is the 12th month that I have gone without salary now.”

    •Repentant bandits in Zamfara

    Bello, like the proverbial tortoise, wishes to fight with his wrists, but he has no fingers. He would love to get paid his due. He would also love to apprehend the bandits who killed his son. Fresh in grief, he informed his hamlet head, who called the Divisional Police Officer (DPO) on phone but the latter refused to send a team in pursuit of the culprits claiming the incident happened in a remote community and if the police went there, they could be attacked.

    Bello felt disillusioned and angry but he kept his cool. He said, “Quietly, I travelled back home to bury my son. His wife and his siblings’ wives were seriously disturbed by the incident, and they decided that they could not live there anymore.”

    His second son left Jangebe shortly afterwards. Bello pleaded with him to stay but he refused, claiming that he could no longer bear to live in Zamfara.

    “He was afraid that what was done to his brother could befall him. I gave him the go ahead to travel out to see where he could live his life peacefully. To support him, I gave him my cows. This is the fourth year that I’ve not seen my cows, he is roaming around Lagos axis,” said Bello.

    Bello grudgingly accepts his second son’s refusal to return home to Jangebe stressing that, “The issue of banditry has persisted. It is escalating. People are still being kidnapped in Zamfara. The bandits don’t differentiate between the rich and poor. They’ll take you to the bush and beat the hell out of you, every night, while demanding a ransom that you don’t have.

    “To get it, you must sell whatever you have in the bush, and what you have in the town, and give it to them. Your relatives will also bear the brunt. We have no peace here. You may come back from the south today only to be kidnapped by bandits same day. If you live here and you own cows, they’ll pay you a visit at night. They will cover your head with black blanket and take you to the bush. This is our biggest problem,” said Bello.

     

    The grim picture

    The 60-year-old paints a clear portrait of the insecurity plaguing Zamfara and neighbouring northwestern states, Katsina and Sokoto.

    Over the last decade, more than 8,000 people have been killed – mainly in Zamfara state – with over 200,000 internally displaced and about 60,000 fleeing into Niger Republic. Livestock and crops have been decimated, further depressing human livelihood indices that were already the country’s lowest. The violence is aggravating other security challenges: it has forced more herders southward into the country’s Middle Belt, thus increasing herder-farmer tension in that region and beyond.

     

    ‘They came on motorcycles to kill us’

    Victims of banditry report extreme violence unleashed against civilians, murders, kidnappings for ransom, pillaging and looting of villages. In a recent attack, 21 people were killed in in Tungar Kwana village in Talata-Mafara town by armed bandits. The invaders stormed the community on motorbikes after blocking the community’s entry and exit points before unleashing terror on the defenceless residents.

    They made away with several livestock in the attack which was in retaliation for the ongoing military onslaught against them in their forest enclave.

    Victims of armed banditry
    •Victims of armed banditry/kidnap
    being fed after their rescue from captivity

    The Emir of Talata-Mafara, Bello Muhammed, led the funeral prayer for the victims the following day.

    In a separate incident, Asmau Usman, 28, recounted how heavily armed gunmen swooped on her hamlet in Kawaye, and killed her husband and two sons right after they raped her. “They shot my husband in the head because he cursed them for raping me in front of him and our children. Then they killed my two sons claiming that they were young serpents who would grow up to cause them trouble some day,” said Usman.

    Mohammed Aliyu, a grocer, relocated to Gusau after his two wives and three daughters were raped and eldest son hacked to death by armed bandits in his presence.

    He said, “They came on motorcycles to attack us. They invaded my home, raped my wives and daughters before me and they killed my only son because they didn’t find enough money on me.”

    According to the police spokesperson for Zamfara State, Mohammed Shehu, “The gunmen see the villagers as a soft target to avenge the ongoing offensive against them. The area is calm as more security personnel are deployed, and the criminals would be arrested to face the weight of the law.”

    The attacks are, however, not limited to Zamfara State. The UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency reported few months ago, that 47 people were killed in one of the deadliest attacks by gunmen in Kankara town (Katsina state) and the nearby villages of Danmusa and Dusi-ma. In addition 22 villagers were killed on April 1 in Gangara, Sokoto State, according to the local police.

    A humanitarian time-bomb

    About 23,000 people have fled the upsurge in violence, stated the United Nations High Conmmissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) thus increasing to 60,000 the number who have fled in the last year ongoing attacks by armed groups in the Sokoto, Katsina and Zamfara States.

    “The situation in the region is a cause for concern, particularly in view of the rise of criminal groups operating in Nigeria. This is the whole point of UNHCR’s presence in the region,” said Alessandra Morelli, UNHCR Representative in Niger.

    The crisis has also triggered a humanitarian challenge. Hundreds of thousands of people have been displaced. In September 2019, a joint assessment mission by the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) and the National Commission for Refugees, Migrants and Internally Displaced Persons, citing local government authorities’ estimates, reported 210,354 persons displaced from 171 towns and villages in the northwest. Of these, 144,996 were in Zamfara state, 35,941 in Sokoto and 29,417 in Katsina.

    The violence has also exacted a severe toll on families and children. In Zamfara, the government reports that about 44, 000 children have been orphaned as a result of violence in the last decade.

    Amina Ilyasu, a gender empowerment counsellor and social psychologist, argued that the government must extend sustainable socio-economic palliatives and mental support for victims of armed banditry.

    “There are many displaced people within and outside refugee settlements in the state and many of them are dealing with severe losses. They need mental health evaluation and intervention. There are several orphans, widows and the elderly struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Many of them were victims of rape, severe battery and sexual assault. They need mental health support alongside security and socio-economic palliatives,” she said.

     

    Roots of the crisis

    The attacks are rooted in decades-long competition over resources between herders and farming communities. While most residents of Zamfara State are involved in agriculture – the state motto is “farming is our pride” – cows are valued by the herder community who have been accused of being behind a wave of attacks.

    However, herders have repeatedly rejected the allegations saying that they too are victims. Isa Husseini, 41, argued that he was forced to flee his abode in Anka after bandits stole 12 of his cows and robbed him of all his savings.

    Over 13,000 hectares of farmland have been either destroyed or rendered inaccessible in Zamfara since the crisis began. Huge numbers of livestock have similarly been lost: from 2011 to 2019, about 141,360 cattle and 215,241 sheep were rustled in the state, according to the International Crisis Group (ICG).

     

    Initial government responses

    Former Governor Yari reported that from 2015 to 2019, the government spent N35 billion (about $95.8 million) on logistics support to federal security agencies, special allowances for security personnel deployed to the state and relief for victims of attacks.

    As violence continued to escalate, the state government recruited about 10, 000 vigilantes to fight banditry. The poorly armed men were often no match for the bandits and they suffered heavy casualties in the course of the many confrontations in Zamfara and Katsina.

    From 2016 to 2018, the Zamfara and Katsina state governments started negotiating peace agreements with herder-allied armed groups and criminal gangs. The states offered amnesty, arms-for-cash programs and promises of spending for local communities, in return for disarmament.

    In Zamfara state, a government-initiated peace dialogue with armed groups led to an arms-for-development agreement in October 2016, and in April 2017, police reported about 1,000 herder-allied armed fighters and criminals had renounced banditry and surrendered arms in exchange for promises of cash.

    After one year, the programme collapsed, and the mostly herder-allied armed groups stepped up attacks. Some government officials argued that Tsoho Buhari, then the pre-eminent herder-allied armed group leader, popularly known as Buharin Daji, along with some of his lieutenants, had breached the deal conditions and unilaterally returned to violence.

    Competition among armed groups worsened over time, stoking yet more violence. On March 7, 2018, Buharin Daji was killed, along with seven of his lieutenants, allegedly by his second-in-command, Dogo Gide.

    According to some local sources, Buharin Daji’s murder followed a dispute linked to a clash over rustled cattle; others say it was linked to his refusal to lay down arms, a policy by then opposed by Gide.

    Thereafter, the many armed groups loyal to Buharin Daji and some others resumed violent activities at full throttle in Zamfara, and also extended these to Katsina and Sokoto states.

    ‘Two cows for your gun’

    In the wake of sustained attacks by the bandits, Governor Matawalle has devised a scheme to manage the crisis: by offering repentant bandits in Zamfara two cows for every AK-47 rifle they surrender to his government.

    An average cow in northern Nigeria costs about N100,000 ($260; £200) while an AK-47 on the black market could cost as much as N500,000 ($1,200; £950).

    “These bandits who choose to repent initially sold their cows to buy guns and now that they want a life free of criminality, we are asking them to bring us an AK-47 and get two cows in return, this will empower and encourage them,” argued Matawalle in a statement.

     

    Shari’a in Zamfara from 2000 to 2020

    Zamfara’s first amputee under the Shari’a law, Bello, never imagined that he would live to see the day when the state government would negotiate with armed bandits and cow thieves. Back in his time, the state would simply cut off culprits’ right hand.

    Lawali “Inchi Tara” Isa, who got sentenced in December 2000 for stealing three bicycles shares mortification with Bello. The 61-year-old native of Gummi, whose hand was amputated on May 3, 2001, is unhappy about the current state of Shari’a implementation in Zamfara State.

    He said, “To be honest, the Shari’a legal system and its implementation in Zamfara has now being bastardised. It is distorted compared to how it was before. Immoral activities have resumed. Music is entertained, and other anti Islamic activities are back in the state.” said Isa, stressing that Shari’a currently exists in Zamfara in theory, and not in practice.

    On another note, Sanusi Muhammad Usman Kwatarkwash, the former Executive Chairman of the Zamfara State Hisbah Commission, and former Chairman of the State Public Complaint Commission, argued that the problem is hardly with Shari’a as a law but with the implementers of the law.

    He said, “Some are so strong enough to implement it while some people are weak to implement it, so if they are weak, the fault is on them…During my time as the state Hisbah chairman, a commercial motorcycle cannot carry a woman, but you can see a commercial motorcycle carrying women now. The Shari’a is still there and it does not permit a woman to ride on a motorcycle but the implementers are relaxed. Whosoever disobeys Allah or do the wrong thing, there are stipulated laws that he should be punished.”

     

    Was justice served in Bello and Isa’s cases?

    Although Bello and Isa accepted their sentences with equanimity, and as their pathways to redemption, human rights lawyers argued that the duo were not aware of their right to appeal against the judgements.

    Kwatarkwash, however, believes that justice was served. He said, “People always focus attention on Jangebe because his hand was amputated but it is the rule of Allah that the hand of anyone one who steals should be amputated if it is certain that that he or she has committed the offence culminating to a certain amount of money in cash or in property, therefore, when the Shari’a was being applied to Jangebe, it was just, and justice was served.”

    To resolve Zamfara’s banditry problems, Kwatarkwash suggested a recourse to Shari’a, arguing that, “If there is Shari’a in place, we will certainly not experience all these criminality. And let’s check, are we really practicing Shari’a the way we are supposed to practice it?

    “Our leaders have very important roles to play. Allah will certainly question you as a leader on what you have done to alleviate the sufferings of the people. Why should we be in poverty? What have you done to alleviate the poverty? The leaders should look critically at the problems of their citizens. They should solve them and we’ll be at peace. If not, problems must continue to exist,” he said.

     

    Cutting past governors to size…

    Recently, the state government invalidated the pension law for former governors and other ex-public officers in Zamfara State, which provided for the upkeep of ex-governors to the tune of N700 million annually. The state has produced three former governors since 1999.

    The drama unfurled in the wake of former Governor of Zamfara State, Abdul’aziz Yari’s written request for the payment of his “monthly upkeep allowance of N10 million only…and a pension equivalent to the salary he was receiving while in office.”

    The repealed pension law in Zamfara State allowed former governors to receive pension for life; two personal staff; two vehicles replaceable every four years; two drivers, free medical for the former governors and deputies and their immediate families in Nigeria or abroad; a four-bedroom house in Zamfara and an office; free telephone and a 30-day paid vacation outside Nigeria.

    In response, the Zamfara State House of Assembly revoked the law on which authority Yari made his demand. By invalidating the law, the state will save up to N700 million each year, and a substantial percentage of the state’s 2020 budget of N135.32 billion.

    But while Governor Matawalle and the state legislature may have earned public respect for righting what has been described as one of the most outrageous wrongs in the history of Nigerian politics, the jury is still out concerning his “two cows for a gun” deal with “repentant” bandits.

     

    FG’s brutal-ferocious vs Matawalle’s carrots

    Recently, the Minister of Interior, Rauf Aregbesola, vowed at a security meeting with northwest governors in Katsina, that all the total, brutal and ferocious might of the Federal Government will be brought down on bandits soon.

    He said, “The Nigerian security machine will be unleashed in its fury, the way we have never seen before. The sickening criminal acts of these evil people will be brought to an end and all citizens will have assurance of peace and safety once again.”

    But how quick and effective these measures would be at ending banditry and restoring peace to the people of Zamfara and other states of the northwest region remains to be seen.

    Yet critics argue that Governor Matawalle may have adopted a weak and disadvantageous measure in addressing Zamfara’s banditry malaise. Hussein Masari, a teacher and social health worker in Anka LGA, argued that the measure hasn’t worked.

    Gov. Matawalle inspects
    arms surrendered by
    repentant bandits at the
    Government House in Gusau

    Zamfara certainly has an interesting history concerning its institution of the Shari’a Penal Code and its implementation. For instance, in February 2000, Dantanim Tsafe pleaded guilty in a Shari’a court, of knocking out his wife’s teeth. The court in Zamfara State ordered Tsafe to pay N157,933.70 (about $1,500 at the period) for knocking out his wife’s front teeth in a quarrel.

    Tsafe’s wife pleaded for the “fine” to be set aside, as her husband was unable to pay. Subsequently, the judge reduced the “fine” to N50,000 (about $470), adding that, if he failed to pay, Tsafe would have to “submit his teeth for forceful removal.”

    Few months later, Buba Bello Jangebe and Lawali “Inchi Tara” Isa’s hands were amputated after being found guilty of theft.

    Going by the kernel of the Shari’a law, it flouts common sense and the spirit of equity that Governor Matawalle would cuddle certified armed bandits in a state that demands clinical justice and recompense as guaranteed by Islamic penal tradition, argued Idris Suleiman, a lawyer and Arabic teacher.

    However, neither Bello nor Isa considered it poetic irony that in 2016, eight years after he left office as Governor of Zamfara State to become a Senator, Sani Yerima, on whose watch their amputation was carried out, was arraigned in a Zamfara High Court by the Independent Corrupt Practices and Other Related Offences Commission (ICPC) on allegation of mismanaging the N1 billion loan meant for the repair of Gusau dam in 2006. That was about 16 years after he supervised the amputation of their hands for theft.

    At their encounter with The Nation, the duo betrayed no grouse with their former governor and Zamfara’s justice system; they seemed to have made peace with fate.

    Even so, Isa’s wife, 25-year-old Zainab pleaded for government’s support for her husband. Things are very bad at home. It’s increasingly difficult for him to fend for her and their six children (three of hers, three of her senior wife).

    “We lived better some years back. During the reign of the former governors, when he was receiving salaries,” she said.

    Likewise, Bello’s 61-year-old wife, also called Zainab, urged government to intervene urgently in her husband’s plight. “We are in serious problems. We have no money and nothing to eat,” she said.

    The histories and fates of both families are undoubtedly connected to the heart and underbelly of Zamfara’s leadership conundrum and social, human crisis. On paper, the state is rich in terms of cash crops and exploitable minerals like cotton, gold and coal. But Zamfara is extremely poor; cuddling a rather small annual budget for a population of 3.6 million people spread over 14 local government areas, its internally generated revenue (IGR) for the first half of 2019 was a meagre N21.7 billion according to the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics.

    These gruesome realities are discernible in the lives of Isa, Bello and their families.

    This minute, Bello starves because the state government stopped his salary 12 months ago. But he goes to work everyday hoping for that one call or bank alert, from his employer, that would change his situation – this is his dream in the short-run.

    In the long-run, Bello dreams of better compensation; as government woos and compensates bandits, he hopes similar gesture would be extended to families left bereaved by banditry. But there is hardly consensus on what form such gesture could take.

    How do you compensate the bereaved families of Kawaye, who watched armed bandits hack their loved ones to death? How do you assuage and monetise the grief of a husband and father like Aliyu, who watched helplessly as bandits killed his son after ravaging his wives and defiling his underage daughters?

    How do you compensate Bello aka Jangebe, for the loss of his son, Abubakar? How do you assuage his hurt and dissent over the radical turn of affairs in Zamfara?

    “If wishes can be fulfilled, we want to be looked upon with pity and be assisted with something tangible by which we can feed our families and engage in business. I would love to buy and sell cows for a living. That is my field of specialisation,” said Bello.

    These are the humble wishes of a reformed cow thief, a bereaved father and impoverished civil servant. Notwithstanding his sad fate, Bello draws solace from the Hausa proverb: Da abinda mu tu m k an samu , d a abinda k an samu nai, tun ran ta halita shi k e: What a man gets and what happens to him is written from the day of his birth.

     

    Additional report by Sani Mohammed

  • Sexual Purity can give you a life no man can give you! (II)

    Sexual Purity can give you a life no man can give you! (II)

    By Temilolu Okeowo

    Dear Ma, I’m not a female but your column caught my attention a few weeks ago and I Google-searched your previous articles and learnt so much. Thanks so much for being a blessing to the world especially the younger ones. God bless you ma!

    Matthew

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,

    I’ve always secretly admired your work in the newspapers and experiencing you and your activities on face book is altogether mind-blowing. I keep asking myself what drives you to write so passionately on the need for girls to preserve their virginity till marriage and develop themselves spiritually and otherwise. I pray I meet you in person soonest. God bless you ma!

    Ruby Okonkwo

    Dear Ma,

    I love reading your articles but I have my doubt about one of your articles- “Sexual purity gives you power to have all you could ever wish for!” There are so many poor virgin girls out there. Does it mean they can’t use their power very well?

    Zipporah, 22, Lagos

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian daughters,

    Today, I would give you an insight into how you can make the most of your sexual purity and have what no man can give you.

    1. Our body- the temple of the Holy Spirit

    You must have read in the bible at some point in time that our bodies are referred to as the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Cor.6:19 Who or what is the Holy Spirit? In summary the Holy Spirit is the presence of God in our lives without which we can achieve very little. You may remind me that there are a lot of very successful people out there who enjoy flaunting their immoral life-style in our faces but I would also jump to ask- DO YOU KNOW THE TYPE OF STAR YOU CARRY AND WHAT IT WOULD ENTAIL TO MANIFEST? Check out Mary the mother of Jesus, her purity effortlessly made her the most famous woman in creation and till eternity because she was found worthy of bringing our Lord Jesus Christ into the world! Would biblical Esther have become queen in a foreign land if she wasn’t a virgin? Did you even know that a lot of girls/ladies have their life’s settings scattered when they’re deflowered outside marriage? THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER! Now which power do you really have to ensure God’s wondrous plans for you manifest? Your make-up, pretty dresses or endless surfing on the internet and “face-booking?” NO! The same bible says

    “So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel, Chioma, Bidemi, Aisha: Not by might nor by power, but by my spirit, says the Lord Almighty.” Zech.4:6

    I have emphasised in this column over and over again how a lot of destinies are polluted and delayed by transference of spirits and demons through sexual intercourse and how ungodly sex opens up your life to demonic invasion! The point is- to start with- you can’t be kissing God and hugging the devil and expect that you will live a life of your dreams. Even if you sell your soul to the stupid, bad devil, it will always control your life and frustrate it.

    May I announce to you- if you are still defiling your body- God’s holy temple, YOU’RE CHEATING YOURSELF, MISSING A LOT! A clean vessel is a POWER-GENERATOR- THE POWER HOUSE OF GOD! While a dirty vessel is the DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND! Did you even know that an imagination incubated in the Holy Spirit is a time-bomb of miracles waiting to explode? Hmm…I’m afraid 85% of girls in the world today don’t know the power of God resident in them, the gold mines they are and what they could make out of it! Before we meet again, may God open your eyes to reveal the wonder in you so you can start pursuing your destiny instead of boys/men.

     

    • To be continued.
  • Does matchmaking really work

    Does matchmaking really work

    Vera Chidi-Maha

     

     

    The society we live in has a very funny and odd way of ridiculing a single person or persons.  Some are convinced that there is something wrong with the person. They go further to proffer a supposed solution by finding him a partner.

    Matchmaking has over the years come a long way. Parents are often times guilty of this. I have heard of parents who want their children to get married to their friend’s child or children, believing that it is their place to choose and decide who their child settles down with. Married couples who have single friends feel it is their place to fix their friends with some lady or guy so that they can get married and live happily with each other. The question is, does it always work out? No doubt there are match – made relationships that have worked out and even ended up at the altar. But there are also cases that ends up in disaster.

    It is just that right now, I do not have the accurate statistics of match made relationships that have worked out and those that have not. I recall with nostalgia how Ekene, a dear distant relation of mine became a very willing victim of match – making arrangement. Uncle Ekene, popularly called ‘Americana’ by all stayed almost all his adult years in the United States. He was married to Aunty Carol also a Nigerian based in US. They have two very wonderful boys.  I believe they were happy while they were there. They had been married for fifteen years. We know this because they made a lot of noise about their 15th year wedding anniversary. It was after their celebration that Uncle Ekene decided it was time to come back to his fatherland. This decision did not go well with his wife who decided to stay back in the US. The depressed and dejected Americana headed back home alone; without his wife and children.  He was home alone. Just six months after his return, everybody that was anybody in the family started bringing to Americana their friends and sisters. Needless to say that he was left with no choice but to sample and dump until they brought an undergraduate who doubted as a model. Today he is married to her and they have two girls and a boy. I believe they are happy. Or are they?  I don’t know, for everybody’s sake I pray that matchmaking thing worked out for them.

    Recently, a divorced mother of two announced to her friend that her divorce had been finalized and that she was finally free from her husband. What was her friend’s thought?  To matchmakers.  Without waiting to know whether her friend was ready to enter into another relationship, she and her husband went to fix a blind date with her husband’s divorcee friend. The just – divorced lady was irritated by this intrusion into her privacy but her friend’s intentions and mischief to see where it would end took over. She however gave her conditions. There was no way the man was coming to her flat. Since he lived alone, they would all meet at his flat for lunch. It was agreed.

    Readers, could you guess what happened? By the time they got to his apartment, the poor man had developed a cold feet and simply disappeared! He did not even have the decency to tell his children and house – helps where he went although his car was parked in the driveway. It was obvious that the poor man had also been rail – roaded into agreeing to meet her.  After about thirty minutes of waiting, she’d had it. Since she was earlier promised a good lunch by her matchmaking friends, she reminded the couple, and the lunch was provided het at the nice restaurant. So, matchmakers of this world beware. That a person lives alone does not mean that the person is lonely. Playing cupid seldom works.

    Take another instance of a wealthy father who insisted that his daughter must be married to his childhood friend’s son. Before they met; they were both deeply involved in serious relationships but in order to please their respective parents, they decided to get together. Well, they found out they had next nothing in common. The ideal thing then for them was to go their separate ways. It was at the point of deciding whether to continue or stay together that their parents decided to play tin – gods. They blackmailed them into getting married by making their inheritance a condition. Not wanting to lose their inheritance, they both quickly consented to their parents matchmaking gimmicks. The wedding ceremony was lavish. But barely three months into the courtship, the worst happened. They willingly consented to divorce. Whether they will get the inheritance or not, time will tell. Match making is not completely bad, it depends on their individuals concerned. Relationship issues can be very sensitive if not properly handled.

  • Behold Millennium Devt Goals clinic where babies are delivered with torchlight

    Behold Millennium Devt Goals clinic where babies are delivered with torchlight

    David ADENUGA, Bauchi

     

    GURKA primary health care facility located in Maiwa, a rural community in Zaki Local Government Area, Bauchi State, has operated without power supply for almost seven years.

    It is the insult added to the injury of a hospital whose structures are in pitiable conditions. The dilapidated structures are not hosts only to hospital’s staff and patients, they also serve as abodes for snakes, lizards and other reptiles that stroll in and out of the clinic at will.

    Our correspondent who visited the dilapidated health care facility was confronted with the sight of buildings  that had seen better days. Most of the buildings had no roof worth called such as the corrugated iron sheets that covered them had been blown off for years, leaving them with only their rafts.

    In that condition, the staff and patients at the hospital are left at the mercy of heavy rain, scorching sun and other unpleasant natural conditions since there is nothing left on the roofs to act as shields.

    Added to the foregoing is the overgrown weeds that have taken over some parts of the facility’s premises, exposing both workers and visitors to the danger of snakebite.

    Boldly written on the pale walls of the facility is ‘ MDGs Nigeria, a 2011 project’. Checks by The Nation revealed that the facility was one of the projects of the United Nations under its Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) and was built with support from the state government under former governor Isa Yuguda ‘s administration in 2011.

    A volunteer midwife at the maternity ward of the PHC, Hassana Madugu, who spoke with our correspondent, said the facility had been without power  supply  since she started working there about three years ago.

    She said: ”I take delivery for pregnant women during labour and  we are just managing the maternity ward.

    ”For the three years that I have been here, we use lamp or torchlight in the labour room, and  I attend to 25-30 pregnant women in  a month. The situation has been quite pathetic.

    “Whenever it rains, the roof leaks. There was a time it rained and the roof collapsed on admitted patients. We had to use our money to call carpenters to fix the damage. Snakes even roam around the premises, although they have not bitten anyone.”

    Madugu said severe cases during labour are transferred to the general hospitals.

    A routine immunization focal person at the PHC, Shehu Haruna, who also lamented  its miserable state in a conversation with our Correspondent,  said  the environment was unsafe for them.

    He said they have also been exposed to harsh weather conditions and called for urgent intervention.

    He said: ”During the rainy season, we cannot work. We are also being terrorised by snakes here due to the miserable state of the facility”

    ”Although no one has been bitten by snakes, we have killed many. We can’t wait for someone to be killed by dangerous snakes before we take proactive measures.

    ”As you can see, the roofs are in a sorry state. Since there is only one PHC per ward, this is the only one accessible to the residents here.

    ”Since last year, we have been calling the attention of the government through the Chairman of Zaki Local Government Council, but nothing has been done.

    ”But patients are still coming for services since it is the only PHC in the area.

    “During rainy season, we attend to pregnant women through our Maternity In Charge House, which is behind the facility. We also have to move our property there when it is rainy season.

    Read Also: Kwara to revamp clinic

    ”The situation has also been reported to our local government director but up till now, nothing has been done. The PHC is still in a bad condition.”

    Another health worker, Abubakar Ibrahim, said the pictures of the dilapidated structures had been sent to relevant agencies but no action had been taken.

    He added that the health facility does  not have anti-venom vaccines for snakebites, which he said poses a greater danger for patients and staff at the centre.

    When contacted, the Director of primary health care centres in Zaki Local Government Area, Adamu Hamman, declined comments.

    “I don’t think I can give you any information that I don’t know, ” he said before hanging up the phone on our reporter

    However, the Deputy Director of Zaki PHCs, Abba Tata, said renovation has commenced in the PHC but there was no installation of electricity yet.

    He confirmed that the PHC had been without electricity for almost seven years.

    Zaki Local Government Chairman, Yahuza Abdulkadir, told our reporter  on the phone that he would not speak on the matter without seeing the reporter physically. ”You’re not serious if you cannot meet me face to face,” he said.

    He then gave the phone to his personal assistant who angrily told our reporter: ”We are not aware of what you are talking about. And please don’t call my boss again!”

    When contacted, the Executive Secretary Bauchi State Primary Healthcare Development Agency (BASPHCDA), Dr. Rilwanu Mohammed, said no formal complaint had been received by the agency about the condition of the health care centre.

    According to him, the government plans to renovate dilapidated PHCs in the state.

    He added that the PHCs in Zaki are not under the Nigeria State Health Investment Project (NSHIP).

    He said: ”Our aim is to make sure the health facilities are in good condition.

    “Besides, the Federal Government has allocated N447 million for the whole 3/3 PHC per ward, which has to do with renovation and upgrading.

    ”Zaki and Alkaleri are not part of the NSHIP facilities, unlike Gamawa where the health care facilities are in good condition. Even Azare, because they are  part of the NSHIP project.”

  • Parents, hospital bicker over alleged detention, threats to sell baby

    Parents, hospital bicker over alleged detention, threats to sell baby

    By Precious Igbonwelundu

     

    IS 13-month-old Olohunwa Michael being held at a Lagos hospital since birth because of his parents’ inability to pay the N86,000 balance of his delivery bill? Is it true that the hospital seized the baby and threatened to sell him to recoup all the expenses incurred since he was born?

    Did the mother abandon him weeks after delivery and the father asked the hospital to keep him because he could not look after him? Did a church group offer to care for the boy by taking him to a shelter where he would be kept for an initial five-year period?

    The foregoing are questions that investigations by the police and the Lagos State Government agencies would have to answer as the baby’s parents, Yusuf and Kudirat Michael, Mojol Hospital and the Saint Vincent De Paul group of the Catholic Church trade accusations.

    The Nation gathered that since October 12, last year, Olohunwa, whose delivery was done through a caesarean procedure, has remained in the hospital located at 20B, Church Street, Sasa Bammeke in Shasha, Lagos.

    While the parents are alleging that the hospital withheld their son over non-payment of the N86,000 balance, the clinic vehemently denied this, insisting that they took custody of the baby on compassionate grounds. The hospital alleged that the mother fled the hospital six weeks after she was delivered of the baby while all entreaties it made to the father, Yusuf, to take custody his baby fell on deaf ears, as he insisted that the baby could die from lack of proper care.

    But Yusuf, a guard at a gas station at Obadeji in Idimu told The Nation that Olohunwa has remained in the facility because of his inability to pay the balance of an initial N230,000 bill. He claimed that they had paid the bill in instalment until it remained N86,000, adding that he had to cry out for help because of threats by the clinic that he would not be allowed to see his son any longer if he didn’t pay up the balance.

    According to him, trouble began following alleged plans by the hospital to sell his son or give him to a church association without his consent; an allegation the hospital and the group has vehemently denied.

    Yusuf said he became disturbed after he learnt of a meeting between the hospital management and the church group, without his consent. Prior to this, he claimed there had been moves by the hospital to prevent him from seeing the baby, adding that the facility also told him they didn’t want to see his wife.

    Narrating how they got to leaving their son in the hospital for that long, Yusuf said his wife was in her father’s house when she started having labour pains and was rushed to the private hospital where she was operated on.

    He said it was about two weeks after she gave birth that he went to the hospital and was told that their bill was N230,000. He said that since he could not afford to pay the sum, he reached an agreement with the hospital to pay N10,000 monthly from his N20,000 salary. Unfortunately, he said, the COVID-19 lockdown affected his ability to keep up with the monthly payment, causing him to cut down the amount to between N6,000 and N9,000 while ensuring that he provided diapers, food and a few other items for the child each time he visited the clinic.

    Yusuf said: “When I got to the hospital after my wife put to bed, I pleaded with them that I did not have that kind of money and that I would pay by installment. I work at Lamitex Petrol Station at Obadeji around Osunbare, and I collect N20,000 per month…

    “What happened was that my wife ran away from the hospital to her father’s house, leaving the baby in the hospital. When her father asked why, she said it was because she was always feeling cold. Her father begged her to go back; I also begged her, so she went back.

    “Those ones (hospital staff) followed her here. They asked if she was my wife and if she was okay. They asked why she left her child and ran away because of cold. They begged her. I even got angry and threatened to slap her. They gave her a thick cloth to sleep on the floor with the baby.

    “Later, she left the hospital again, despite appeals from all. It was the hospital workers who were bathing the child. They fed and took care of the child till I left.

    “A woman in the hospital asked if I would pay and I said ‘yes’. But when I went there again, they had hidden the child. I asked them why and they told me they had given him to another person to take care of him. I refused and shouted at them.

    “When I got home, I explained what happened to my people and they said I should make a report at the police station. I explained what happened to the DPO; that I was not the one who took her to the hospital and that I was not even aware it was a big hospital. I thought it was a traditional birth centre.

    “When the policemen got to the hospital, they told them to give me the baby because I had tried to pay some of the money. But they were insulting me, saying that I impregnated my wife but did not want to pay.

    “Because my wife did not go to check on the child after she ran away, the woman there (Iya Mojol) was really angry with her. She said she is not a good person for leaving her child and so she did not need her there anymore.

    “One day, I went to the hospital with my wife. Immediately the woman saw us, she said I should not bring her to the hospital anymore. I begged her not to be annoyed; that it was because of the money I owed that I had not been coming.

    “But she started shouting, asking why I brought my wife to the hospital. My wife also started shouting that she came because she gave birth to a child in the hospital. I even knelt down for the woman that day. I believe if my wife too had knelt down for her, she would have given us the child. But she was being stubborn.

    “Any time I went there, the child would come out and I would see him. But he does not even know that I am his father. The policeman said I should go there with the money. He even said nobody would to stop me from visiting my child there. That is why I have been going there.

    “I would go there, sit and play with my child for a long time even though he does not know I am his father.

    “On his birthday last month, I went there with my brother. He was looking so handsome. It was there that they told me that a church wanted to be taking care of him. They even bought cake , but I insisted I wanted my child. A woman there started insulting me, calling me a bad person and asking why I wanted to take my child away. They asked who would take care of him; I told them I would bring my wife, but the woman said I should not bring my wife. I told her that no matter what, she is still the mother of the child.

    “Truly she (Iya Mojol) was helping me. But what is getting me worked up is that the church wants to take the child away. On the boy’s birthday, they bought so many things for him that I was even scared. They held a meeting but did not call me into it. People told me that they want to sell the child while the church is insisting that they want to be the ones to take care of the child. I don’t know how you can be of help to us.”

    Asked the name of the church, Yusuf said: “I don’t know the name of the church. But it is located at Bambeke Street, Ajasha Road.

    “The hospital management called me three days ago (last week) that I must complete the payment otherwise I would not see my child again. I have not gone there since I don’t have the money yet. But if I can get the money before month end, I will go there. We already had a baby girl before this particular child.”

    Asked why she abandoned her newborn baby in a hospital, Olohunwa’s mother, Kudirat, claimed she wanted to go with the baby but could not because they were yet to make full payment. She said it was two months after delivery that she fled and that she fled not just because she was sleeping on the floor but because of some unpleasant words uttered by her husband when he came visiting.

    She said that each time she tried to follow her husband to the hospital, he would tell her Iya Mojol (Managing Director) did not want to see her.

    She said: “Don’t mind Baba (Yusuf). Ever since I got pregnant, I told him that he should let me go to the health centre at Orisunbare here but he refused, saying he was only going to take care of his male child.

    “So, when I was about to go into labour, it was my neighbour who took me to a place where they prayed for me and they later took me to Mojol Hospital. When she took me to the hospital, I gave birth through caesarian operation.

    “It was my father, Musbau Shonimade, that signed the form so I could be operated on because Baba was not there. Three days after the operation, they brought a bill of N230,000.

    “When Baba came, he started shouting, asking why I came to a private hospital to give birth. He was insulting me. So the people around there spoke to him and said he should look for the money.

    “It was because of everything he said that I left the hospital in annoyance. I wanted to take my baby along but they didn’t allow me because I had not paid the bill. I left the hospital two months after I gave birth. We slept on the bed for about three weeks and then they took away the beds.

    “When I gave birth to the baby, Baba told the woman at the hospital that he would be paying the money in installments of N10,000 per month but she should let me take the baby with me. The woman agreed until she suddenly requested for the full amount again, insisting that she would not allow me take the baby unless the full amount was paid.

    “I don’t know her name, but they call her Iya Mojol. It is true I was made to sleep on the floor when we could not pay the money. In fact, there was a woman there as well who had appendix (appendicitis) operation but because she could not pay, she was also made to sleep on the floor. There were many of us in the hospital who were made to sleep on the floor because we didn’t pay on time.

    “When I came home, I was really sick because of the cold I got from sleeping on the cold tiles. They took away the baby’s bed as well. It was a woman in my ward that gave up her bed for my son.”

    Asked why she never went on her own to see her child or take any action expected of a mother, Kudirat said she reported to her father and called her friends to beg her husband to no avail.

    She said: “On the baby’s birthday (October 12), Baba said I should not follow him there; that the woman there did not want to see me. My friend even pleaded with him but he insisted that they said I should not come with him.

    “If I should follow him there by force, he might start saying something else. That was why I stayed back.

    “I explained everything to my dad and he interceded but he still said the same thing. I don’t know what he has told them over there for the woman to say I should not come there.

    “Each time Baba comes back from the hospital, he will let me know the condition of the baby and how he is being treated…

    “However, I am not okay with the hospital keeping my baby with them or with the church taking care of him. I am still alive and there is nothing wrong with me. So, I want them to give me back my baby. I gave birth to him and should be able to take care of him,” insisted Kudirat, who said her husband is from Badagry while she is from Ogun State.

    We never threatened to sell baby

    Denying allegations that they threatened to sell the baby and were detaining him for the family to pay up the balance, the hospital’s Managing Director, Mrs. Omowunmi Ogumade, told The Nation that the baby was still in their facility because Yusuf pleaded with them to keep him.

    She said he told them the baby would die if he should take him home; adding that the man was in tears when he begged them to care for him since his wife usually left home for many days and it would not be good for the boy.

    Ogumade said she had since asked the boy’s father to forget about the balance, adding that she had been caring for the child and even enrolled him in school just to ensure that the boy was well taken care of.

    She said the hospital invited the Saint Vincent De Paul group to help in providing care for the child, adding that when they saw the child, they insisted on seeing his father.

    Ogumade said: “We invited them to see if they can help us with the baby. They usually help in cases like these. They came and we told them that we have this boy here and they saw the boy and said they would need to talk to the father. I told them we had even gone from Area M to Shasha Police Station and to the Commissioner of Police in Ikeja on this matter.

    “We were asked to go to Justice and Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development. We did so that they can take the child but the father was not forthcoming. We were told to come with the father but we kept calling and could not get him on the phone.

    “Later, he came and said his phone was bad or stolen and that he had got a new number. We have not gone back there. Yes, the father agreed for him to be taken to a public shelter. He was there.

    “The church people came on October 12 this year, which was the boy’s birthday, to celebrate with him. The father came and the father’s elder brother came too. The boy’s mother was not there. I don’t know what is going on in their family. They don’t even owe us. I think the family is divided and they have a problem.

    “The mother dropped the baby when he was six weeks and ran away from the hospital. So, it is the father that has been coming to see the boy and we told him that he should come and take his child. I never said the woman should not come. It is a lie that we threaten to sell the baby if they don’t pay the balance.

    “As I speak to you, I have to pay his school fees tomorrow so that the boy can be going to school and not loiter around the hospital. I have spent more than the balance they are talking about since the baby has been here. So, why will I keep the baby because they are owing me?

    “I have told them many times to come and take their child. I am spending more money to care for him. I have bought clothes, school bags, uniforms and all, so that the boy will be fine pending when they are ready to take him.

    “The hospital is not detaining the child at all. The father told us to keep the child until they are ready to come and take him. He said the mother was not ready to take care of him and that the boy would die if he took him home because the mother would go out for three or four days before coming back and there was nobody to take care of the boy.

    “The money was about N160,000 and I told him to bring N50,000 and take his child. Since I said he should bring N50,000 and take his child, he has deposited N4,000 and N6,500. It’s a lie that he was paying N10,000.

    “I even called the admin officer to tell him we have to ensure the boy goes, because he is very friendly and I am afraid he might follow a stranger and we won’t see him again. I do not want to go to jail because I am helping another man’s child.

    “We have told him to take his child, but the Catholic mission, after meeting with him, said they wanted to get a home for him; that they would keep him in a home for five years and take care of him. They called us that they needed one letter to take to the Red Cross before they could take the child. They asked the father if he wanted them to take care of the child, and he said yes.

    “Call the father, tell him to come to the hospital and you should come too. We will call the Catholic people, because they even thanked me and said it is only God that can reward me for all I have done for these people.

    “We didn’t talk about the balance at all. They just said they wanted to take the boy to Red Cross; that the Red Cross said they should get one letter and it is the letter they are running after now before they take the boy.

    “I have asked him to take the boy for the past three months, but he said he could not take him back; that the mother is not even at home.

    “A week to the boy’s birthday, when the father came with the mother, I asked why she had not been coming and what she came to do. She said she was not the one that came to visit but the father.

    “I called the father and said he should look at the way his wife is talking. He said I should not be annoyed that she was not sensible and that she would just abandon the boy if she had taken him home.

    “I did not take money from anybody (referring to the church group). I just said he should come and take his child because I am fed up. I have forgotten the balance and I told him so. He was even begging me that I should circumcise the boy but I said no; that when he’s ready to take the child, he should come and take him, and if he wants circumcision, he will pay for it.”

    She said: “The woman’s father was the one that signed the consent form when she was brought in and we did not take a kobo from them before the surgery. After a week, they didn’t bring money. When we asked, they said it was the woman’s brother that would pay.

    “I called the brother when her father gave me his phone number and that of the younger sister. They said they had done enough for her; that it was the second or third child she would have for the man after they told her to leave him and that they had been the ones paying the bills and could not continue because they had their own issues.

    “They said they gave their father N50,000 to deposit when he called them but their father deposited N20,000. I told them the money issue was a matter for the family and that I was calling because the mother and the baby were in the hospital. It was two weeks after delivery that her husband started coming.

    “The day the husband came, she said she wanted to buy something down the street and dropped the baby for the husband. That was how she left the baby with the father in the hospital. It was around 11pm when we could not find her that we called the father and asked what the matter was.

    “The father was crying that he had the key to the place where he was a guard with him. He begged that we should allow him to go, so I asked some members of my staff to follow him out maybe they would see the mother.

    “They followed him and saw her. They spoke to her and she followed them back to the hospital. Two weeks later, she left the hospital again. The baby’s father did not bring any money. Later, he started bringing food, because I told him we were the ones buying the baby food.

    “What you say the father told you is different from what we discussed. If the Catholic people were ready to take the boy on that day, they would have done so because the father consented to it. We did not call him to come for the birthday. He came to visit the boy as he normally does some days before the birthday and I reminded him his son would be one on October 12, and that he should celebrate with him and the Catholic people that said they were coming.

    “I am expecting him this month. I even said that when he is coming this month, he should not bring anything because the boy has enough presents that the Catholic people bought.

    “We had called him more than twice to come and take the child but he kept saying he was not ready; that if he should take him, he would take him to his first wife in the village. That was when we told the Catholic mission people.”

    Our reporter contacted the Saint Vincent De Paul, an association in the Catholic Church that caters for needy persons in the society, and the group denied it wanted to buy or take the child from his parents.

    The group’s President in Ipaja, Lauretta Uwak, told The Nation that they knew about the child in August or September when they visited the hospital, following a report they saw in the newspaper about one Blessing who could not pay her bills.

    She said when they got to the hospital; they discovered that the case for which they came had been settled. But on their way out, they were told about Olohunwa’s condition.

    She said the group sought further information from the admin officer of the hospital, who told them he was abandoned by his mother a month after delivery.

    “We said this is part of the job we do; that since the lockdown did not allow us visit prisoners or equip vocational centres, we could help the family. We asked for the child’s father and he gave his consent that we should go ahead to help care for the baby in any way we could.

    “We told him we could help him get a home to keep the boy for four or five years, and that he could take him when he grows older, and the man said no problem. We told them that when we were ready, it would be in writing with his thumb print and signature.

    “I am therefore surprised to hear that we want to buy baby.

    “The Catholic church is big and does not tolerate things like this. We were out to help. I did not even know that the man has money to contact press people but he cannot take care of his child. We are a charity group that focuses on widows and the less-privileged in the society. In fact, I am surprised to hear this. I am going to call our lawyers to notify them.

    “Get this story very well, because if I see any publication against the Catholic Church, I won’t take it easy or lightly with you. We will sue for libel.” She fumed, before hanging up the phone.

    A few minutes later, Mrs. Uwak called again, but this time with a calmer mien, to explain that the group had been going round to secure a shelter for the boy, adding that the Nigerian Red Cross, Yaba, was aware of the issue.

    “I want you to know that Red Cross is aware of this issue and I have been asked to go to the Ministry of Youth and Social Development, Alausa. That is the process that was on before your call came in. At this point, I do not even know what to do.

    “The father asked what name the child would bear if taken to the Red Cross and we told him it is his name; that the day we would taken, he would be there with his family members and the hospital representative would be there as well.

    “We also told him that it would be on paper and he would sign with his thumbprint, and he said no problem. His brother was with him.”

    Asked why the association did not consider the option of providing care for the child while leaving him in his father’s custody, she said: “The man said he does not have the capacity. Should we leave the child with someone who cannot provide for him and who abandoned him for a year?

    “The man told us point blank that he had a little daughter with him that he could not even fend for. We even went as far as saying we would help him secure a job, but we discovered he was a security man in a street.”

    Checks with the Nigerian Red Cross confirmed that the Catholic group was there two weeks ago in respect of the boy and were advised on what to do.

    Secretary of the Red Cross, Lasisi Lakunle, said: “They came to us two weeks ago and I told them to go to Alausa. They told us that they have an NGO that does that. They observed that the baby was birthed and the mother fled; that the hospital was taking care of the baby.

    “I told them that what the hospital has done is a crime because they cannot take care of anybody without reporting to the appropriate authority. That the hospital ought to have reported to the police and the police would channel that to the juvenile police who would now seek a home for the child.

    “I told them it was the man who could carry the child to Alausa and report that he could not cope; that the moment they go through the normal channel, we have the facility to take the child. But they cannot go on behalf of the parents. It is the parents that can complain and that they should let the hospital know it is wrong for them keep a child to themselves.

    “There is nothing like humanitarian work in that. It is criminal. That the moment NAPTIP got hold of them, they would be dealt with.”

    Our correspondent also contacted the police but was told no such matter was reported. According to the spokesman of the Lagos State Police Command, Olumuyiwa Adejobi, both the Area M Command and Shasha Police Division said they were not aware of the incident.

    He however said, “The parties can come forward with a petition so we can look into it.”

    The Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs also said there was no such case before them, but referred our reporter to the Youth and Social Development Ministry for further investigation.

     

  • Understanding looted CACOVID palliatives

    Understanding looted CACOVID palliatives

    The looters claimed they only took what belonged to them. But state governments and the donor of the items looted in warehouses across the country, Coalition Against COVID (CACOVID), insist they never hoarded the items pilfered during the ENDSARS protests, write YINKA ADNIRAN, ONIMISI ALAO, TOBA ADEDEJI, ADEKUNLE JIMOH, GBENGA OMOKHUNU and FAITH YAHAYA

    They have been described as suspected hoodlums, but those who swooped on a warehouse in Akobo in Ibadan, the Oyo State capital city in the early hours of Friday, October 23 were not hoodlums. They are men, women, girls and boys well-known in that axis. Their target: The palliatives they said were meant for the people of the state. By the time they left, no fewer than 1,850 bags of rice were carted away.

    In Bakin Kogi, Yola, the Adamawa State capital, warehouses were also attacked but not only were food items looted, but the roof of the warehouses was also stripped.

    And in Ede, the Osun State capital, some residents stormed a warehouse to loot Pasta, noodles, garri, salt and sugar. The warehouse is located at Cocoa House, Ede.

    Elsewhere across the country, such as Calabar, the Cross River State capital, Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory, Jos, the Plateau State capital and Lokoja, the Kogi State capital, similar actions were carried out by people who claimed they were looting what their state governments hid from them.

    But, the state governments are disputing the claim.

    Oyo: private warehouse was looted

    The Oyo State government said it had nothing to do with the looted foodstuff. A businessman, Mr Alabi Adeoye, said he owns the warehouse. According to him, he was an agent of the private sector-driven Coalition Against Covid-19 (Ca-COVID) engaged to supply rice to Abia, Cross River, Plateau and Taraba states.

    He added that the company was re-bagging and repacking the rice in line with the specifications of the coalition before distribution to the states, explaining that his company, which has been operating in Oyo State in the past five years, lost close to N50million to the attack.

    Adeoye said: “Oyo State Government was not part of the states we were asked to supply by CACOVID.

    “On the 30th of September, they (Ca-Covid) contacted us if we could handle the supply of rice for them. We have an interest in farming. We are farmers and we have a good network with every state. We told them we could handle it, which we were able to get the purchase order.

    “After that, we instructed our team to manage it from Ibadan, simply because we believe we can also generate revenue in Ibadan and create more jobs. We have farms in Ibadan and it has been profitable for us. And we have been able to employ a good number of the indigenes to manage our farms for us. So, these are the reasons why they gave us the job.

    “We have been operating in Ibadan for quite some time. We have two warehouses in Ibadan; there is one on Iwo Road and the other is at Lagelu, which we have been managing for like five years. We have never witnessed an invasion like this because we have been so good to the community. Recently, we tried to construct about 500metres of the road for them. So, I was surprised to see this kind of attack.

    “But our facility was vandalized and food items worth millions of Naira were carted away. This is not a big concern to us, though we believe that these food items are meant for Nigerians we were unable to get them to the appropriate quarters. However, property that was vandalized was worth millions of naira.”

    He thanked men of the ‘Operation Burst,’ whose intervention, he said, helped to stop the destruction of his company.

    •A woman conveying her loot home with the aid of an Okada rider

    He also added that the effort also yielded a result as about 185 bags have been recovered so far from the suspected hoodlums who are residents and members of the community where the facility is located.

    Addressing a news conference to correct the insinuation that the food items are palliatives for the residents, Commissioner for Local Government and Chieftaincy Matters Chief Bayo Lawal said the state’s fifth round of palliative distribution was slowed down by the nationwide protests.

    Lawal, who is also the chairman of the Food Security and Palliative Committee of the Oyo State COVID-19 Task Force, explained that the bags of rice looted at the private warehouse in Ibadan were not the property of Oyo State, adding that the state was not supplied rice as part of the palliatives from Ca-Covid and that it did not distribute rice as part of the palliatives distributed to the people so far.

    He said the hoodlums mistook the private warehouse for government property.

    Lawal said: “Investigations at the moment eventually revealed that there was nothing that concerns the Oyo State government in that warehouse.

    “The warehouse belongs to a private individual who operates in Oyo State and was given a valid contract by the Coalition Against Covid-19 (Ca-Covid), a coalition of private organizations that have been helping states and the federal government to fight Covid-19, to supply them to a certain number of states.

    “So, it was the rice that he procured on his own for repackaging that was mistaken to be Oyo State’s that hoodlums looted.”

    Adamawa

    Unlike the Oyo State scenario, the roofing sheets, bags of rice, sugar and noodles looted on October 25 and 26 belonged to the Adamawa State government. The looters’ singsong was that the government was keeping the palliatives for 2023 campaign.

    Governor Ahmadu Fintiri said the palliatives were not hoarded, adding that they were still being received and distribution was not yet due when the EndSARS looting was perpetuated.

    He said distribution was set for October 26, which was the second of the two-day mass looting.

    The palliatives came from several sources, including the Federal Government and Coalition for COVID-19, and were to be distributed to people in the 226 wards of the state’s 21 local government areas.

    Osun: items can only be distributed after a flag-off by the CACOVID

    The Nation gathered that pasta FMN – 29, 992 cartons; pasta OLAM -10, 282 cartons; noodles- 80, 644 cartons; garri -40, 322 bags; salt- 40, 320 cartons; and sugar – 40, 227 cartons were looted.

    The Osun State Food Relief Committee through the secretary, Alhaji Bayo Jimoh, explained that the palliative looted were from the Coalition Against COVID (CACOVID)

    He noted that the items can only be distributed after a formal flag-off by the CACOVID Office, Abuja saying “we do not have the authority to distribute the food items without approval from Abuja. The Committee is still expecting the rice component of the donated items, which is 40, 322 bags of 10kg.”

    “Osun was expecting 10kg of 40, 322 bags of rice when CACOVID palliative was looted. The palliative was meant to support state government and was brought into the state between September and October 2020. We the food relief committee only provided a warehouse and the state government allowed those palliatives to be stored in Ede Cocoa industry. We wrote a letter dated September 28, 2020, to CACOVID office in Abuja informing them that they are yet to deliver all the items of foodstuff they promised the state. That 40, 322 10kg bags of rice. They told us that they will come to the state to distribute the food items when they are done with the delivery. They have a sharing formula and it was that each household will take one bag of 10kg rice, 1 bag of 10kg garri, two cartons of spaghetti, two packs of sugar and two packs of salt but because the major item which was rice had not come the CACOVID did not come to Osun State to flag off.”

    Kwara

    Kwara State Governor AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq said the items looted at a store at the Kwara State Cargo Terminal came from CACOVID.

    Items handed over to Kwara State by donors included 27,360 bags of semolina; 27,360 bags of sugar; 27,360 cartons of pasta; 27,360 bags of salt; 27,360 (10kg) bags of rice; and 54,720 cartons of noodles.

    At the handing-over ceremony, CACOVID Representative and Zonal Head of Access Bank Muhammed Adelabu said the coalition came together to rally support for the governments in the fight against the pandemic, adding that the coalition has so far commissioned 38 isolation centres and donated over 100,000 test kits and various personal protective equipment across the 36 states of the country.

    “Today, we have commenced the third phase of our intervention plan in the fight to combat and eradicate COVID-19 in Nigeria; the CACOVID National Food Relief Programme which will see the distribution of various food items to over 1.6m families i.e over 10 million Nigerians across the country.

    •Kids happily conveying their loot home

    “We are doing this to help the most vulnerable households that have been affected by the coronavirus.”

    During the EndSARS protests, rampaging youths attacked the warehouse and looted away the food items from the store.

    Security personnel were drafted to the scene of the event to persuade the attackers to see reason.

    The governor visited the place and asked the security operatives to allow the angry youths to take what they wanted.

    The state government denied alleged diversion of the palliatives, adding that it had distributed a larger chunk of the materials to many of the local government areas of the state.

    FCT

    The FCT Administration kept the palliatives at the Area 10 Art and Culture, the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), camp in Kubwa, Gwagwalada Area Council and Tungamaji, an area which is also under Gwagwalada Area Council.

    Looters started with the Area 10, Art and Culture warehouse where some palliative were kept but they were prevented from looting the palliative by security operatives, who could not prevent the looting of palliatives in other area across the FCT.

    The FCT said the palliative items were not hoarded.

    Why palliatives were not distributed,   by CACOVID

    Two members of the Coalition Against COVID-19 (CACOVID) have explained the delay in the distribution of palliatives by state governments.

    CACOVID members, Mr Osita Nwasinobi and Dr Sola Adeduntan, in two separate documents made available to the media on Monday in Abuja, called for calm among members of the public.

    Nwasinobi, in a document he authored for CACOVID members, said the coalition had been working with the minister of the FCT and the Nigeria Governors’ Forum (NGF), to procure and distribute food items to Nigerians.

    •Looters at the Idu Industrial Area, Abuja

    He said they were working to distribute the food items for about two million, mostly vulnerable families across the 774 local government areas in the country, explaining that CACOVID members decided to procure the food directly from the manufacturers, to avoid a distortion of prices in the market.

    Nwasinobi stressed: “The sheer scale of this nationwide food programme and the timing of the orders and deliveries, coincided with the lockdowns and reduced movement across the country.

    “This compelled CACOVID to roll out distribution in a staggered manner, with states classified in three timed phases, to enable orderly delivery to the needy.

    “The food package was designed such that each of the nearly two million vulnerable families received 10kg bag of rice, a five-kilogram bag of garri/maize flour/semolina, one carton of pasta, two cartons of noodles, five kilograms of sugar and one kilogram of salt.”

    He added that due to the large size of the order and the production cycle required to meet the demand, there was a delay in delivering the food items and thus delays in distribution by state governments

    “For instance, rice had to be milled, semolina and maize flour had to be processed, noodles and pasta had to be manufactured, and sugar had to be refined. As such, the first deliveries could not start until June.

    “However, as at October 2020, a sizable portion of the items had been delivered but yet to be distributed by the governors,” Nwasinobi said.

    He said while 28 states and the FCT had commenced distribution since early August, some could not as they were yet to receive complete deliveries of the items allotted to them and so state governments had been distributing the items at various paces.

    In the interest of transparency and accountability, he pledged that CACOVID would, in due course, provide the full delivery schedule and flag-off dates by each state, stressing that KPMG Professional Services and NGF external auditors were also on the verge of completing the audit of all contributions from the donors, including a full list of all medical and food items procured with the CACOVID funds before the warehouses were attacked.

    “It is very unfortunate that various states, including states that have concluded the distribution of their allocations, are seeing their warehouses and other premises being raided.”

    Nwasinobi called for calm to allow states to proceed with their palliatives distribution peacefully, and for the public to disregard any unauthorized sources of information regarding the procurement and distribution of the palliatives.

    Adeduntan, the Chief Executive Officer of First Bank PLC, in a letter addressed to “Sigma Chief, Old Chiefs and Loyalists” urged member to be wary of information on social media, saying that CACOVID had successfully provided health facilities, diagnostic kits and medications to all the states and the FCT.

    The First Bank CEO said that CACCOVID also decided to provide food to 1.7 million mostly vulnerable families across the country but the challenge was how to purchase those items worth about N15 billion without driving inflation.

    “We had to contract this out to various manufacturers and that took time for them to deliver the goods to us. It was only in September and early October that we handed the goods over to the various state governments and FCT.

    “It is, therefore, a fallacy that the state governments or Dangote have hoarded those foodstuffs,” he explained.

  • FLORENCE UCHE: I got married at 20; it was the best decision

    FLORENCE UCHE: I got married at 20; it was the best decision

    Florence Uche is a woman of many parts. She is passionate about empowering women, the youths as well as transforming the communities wherever she finds herself. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, the energetic woman, who turns 60 this month, takes you down memory lane, talking about marriage to His Eminence, Prelate of Methodist Church Nigeria, Dr. Samuel Uche, in the past forty years, early life, career as an administrator, inspiration, working with women and writing two books.

    Looking simple, elegant and charming, she takes you into her world telling you that her husband is the greatest motivation in her life. “He just said you would be my wife. He was our Sunday School teacher. It just came with the grace of God. I am celebrating God’s favour in my life. I consider myself as someone who has special grace. I have passed through a lot of stress as wife, mother, grandmother, sister-in-law, and at all the levels of the church”.

    Scroll down memory lane and she tells you how the romantic encounter between her and her husband began as a chorister in church. “On the 24th day of December, a Sunday, I went to church and enrolled in the choir. The following day, the 25th, which was the Christmas Day, I went again. I didn’t know that my husband was looking for a wife. He actually told God that anyone who comes on Christmas and the other day would be his wife”.

    Luckily, Young Samuel Uche got exactly what he asked from the Lord. A student who defied the festivities to come to church was God’s choice for him. “After church service, we greeted and I left. I was rushing to go back to our house because my mum was sick. He came and said, let me tell you, you are my wife. I told him, Bro Emeka, I am not in the mood, my mum is sick. He replied saying, tell your mum, I want you to come and see my family”.

    When she got home, Florence told her mum about the encounter and her mum was happy about the news. “First, she asked me what I told him. I told her, I told him that I would pray about it. Interestingly, when I went to his place, I saw the same room that I saw in my dream. I saw the cassock too”.

    On her part, Young Florence wasn’t even thinking or dreaming about marriage. Other suitors came, but she didn’t listen to them. All that her mind was preoccupied with was to go to school and earn degrees and laurels that would make her parents proud of her. But somehow, the relationship was made in heaven. “Three days before the Christmas Day, I had a dream. In it, God led me to a room where I saw a small spring bed, with bed sheet and a pillow. It didn’t look like home because my father’s house was different. I also saw a gown hung on the wall and had to remove cobwebs around it.”

    He paid her dowry in 1980, when she was just 20 years old.”I went back to school after our fourth child. Then, I completed my WASCE after our 6th child in Kano, went on and did my NCE as well as got an admission to study Law at the Bayero University. However, my friends convinced me to stay back and I settled for teaching. My mum wanted me to be to be a nurse and that was why she gave me the name Florence Nightingale. So, I had that in my head. What stopped that dream was the fact that we didn’t have teachers for Physics, Chemistry and Biology. Some parents had to remove their children to other schools. My husband also convinced me to go for teaching”.

    Life being married to His Eminence for forty years has been very interesting and memorable. “My staying power is prayer, commitment, dedication, love for my husband and children. One other thing that gave me an edge is the power of revelation, creating programmes that are so original. After our marriage, God showed me the husband I married on TV and I was struggling to reach where he was. God told me to wake up and said that where He was taking my husband to, if I was not careful, I would not catch up. Later, God gave me another revelation. My husband was still in kano, not yet a Bishop. God asked me to open programmes for women and share the word of God”.

    Happily, she goes on painting images about her experiences working with women, ministers at different levels and getting fulfilment touching lives on a daily basis. “The joy of coming together is not easy. Everyone is calling for your attention and you just have to be there for them. I consider all these as a thing of joy. Why is it me that God chose”.

    One other thing that makes Florence fulfilled is the programmes that she does for the ministry. “God is being glorified, it gives me joy. When we want to do a meeting, I would tell God and he would reveal the agenda to me. So, doing all that gives me joy and then making sure that the home is at peace.”

    At a point, Florence recalled that her career was taking a big chunk of her time and she had to sacrifice this to support her husband and the home front. “I was shuttling between Lagos and Owerri. At a point, I almost lost my ear because of the vibration in the air, travelling my air. When my husband was promoted to the position of Archbishop in Owerri, I travelled by road for four years. Then, I was an administrative employee of The Federal Polytechnic, Nekede. I rose to the rank of Senior Assistant Registrar. Later, I tried to transfer to Yabatech which is about five minutes away from home.”

    Relief! Yes , it was. But somehow, something was still missing. Her heart yearned more for spiritual things and that finally settled it all. “ I would have been promoted to Principal Assistant Registrar”,  but at this point , she opted out and decided to focus totally on God’s work. “For me, this would be 60 years of fulfilment in the Lord’s vineyard. I am from a small village in the Okigwe Local Government Area in Imo State. I was actually born in Niger State because my father, a carpenter, worked with Public Works Department (PWD) and he travelled a lot. From Minna, the family moved to Kotangora and then to Kaduna.”

    When little Florence was in primary school, the civil war broke out. Sadly, she goes down memory lane to recall those moments and the trauma that her family went through at that point. “My father came home one afternoon and asked my mum who was pregnant to pack a few things. We were pushed in through the window at the train station and we travelled to Afikpo, Abia State and then to the village.”

    This was indeed a very sharp contrast from city life they had been used to. “There was a lot of crickets crying, no water, no electricity, no WC. We went to the bush for nature’s call and then the war came to push us further into the bush for months. From there , we moved to Uturu for years and by 1970 the war ended. Unfortunately, it wasn’t easy to go to school because everything had been destroyed. I was eleven when I entered primary school. I took the common entrance examination in 1978 and my name appeared on the list for OVIM Girls’ Secondary School. But the challenge then was the obnoxious policy by the Shehu Shagari administration that those of us who were 15 years and above should go for vocational training.  I was 17 plus and they did not give me admission. It was sad news for my parents who were not educated but we did not give up”.

    Happily she goes on to talk about her parents, their principles and how they inculcated the right values in her right from childhood. “They were good Christians and they gave us the background of godliness. We were encouraged to be punctual in church. You were told that the angels would have marked their register and your name wouldn’t be there. That made me to be always punctual and attentive. Right from childhood, they always made me to sit in front. We do this till date, with my grandchildren”.

  • OYINLOLA SALE: I got into modelling by chance

    OYINLOLA SALE: I got into modelling by chance

    Oyinlola Sale is a model, broadcaster, writer and women’s advocate. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she opens up on her experience in modelling, inspiration and more.

     

     

    TELL us about your experience managing models?

    I am an image consultant, media practitioner, advocate for women empowerment as well as a model manager. I have actually modelled before. It started in a very funny way. That was in 2011 and I was working with an event and advertising agency. They were looking for models for a Skye Bank account. So, they just selected me and everything started like a joke and before I knew it, I saw my photographs at every BRT bus stand. That was in 2013, and for almost two years, I was at every Skye bank branch and every bus stand. It was kind of embarrassing initially and a lot of my friends would call and tell me: ‘You don hammer o’. Later on in 2017, I decided to open a website for audacity studio, where models put up their profiles. For me, it has been an interesting journey so far. I have met so many women in the process and it has been so interesting for me in terms of model management and in terms of being a model as well.

    What was the very first job that you did?

    Regarding the very first job that I did, it was the Skye bank advert and it was good. Also being a presenter is like being a model. You are actually representing your brand, the TV. So, basically being in front of the camera all the time, you have to set that frame of mind and being in total composure, control and confidence is important.

    Tell us about the memorable experiences and the things that inspire you?

    The only thing that inspires me basically is passion. I am very passionate about what I am doing all the time. So, that just stirs up something within me. The truth about it is that in this journey in life, in the career, there would be ups and downs. It has been a very interesting career. If I tell you something, you will be so surprised. It is about meeting people, and I have met so many people on the job. I remember when I met Mr. John Momoh of Channels Television. He said if you were not exceptional, I wouldn’t hire you. That was as far back as 2013 before I joined TVC. Apparently, I didn’t work in Channels, but I am happy where I am right now. It is always like a blessing in disguise. Every situation that you find in this journey is always pushing you to where you are supposed to be. At the end of the day, it is just about turning your woes to wisdom.

    The only thing that inspires me is broadcasting. I have had quite an experience. I have done everything. I have been a reporter on the field, newscaster, presenter and producer. So, I am just going to break it down to what I have done in my career so far. I actually started in 2009, when I came back from the United States of America. I studied at the Eastern New Mexico University. When I came back I started with Galaxy Television, and I was an entertainment presenter and reporter. It was really interesting and I got to meet different people from Denrele and so many people. After that, I went into advertising for a short while and then I was back in broadcasting again. I went to TVC News in 2013 and I was there for over four years, presenting a programme called a Woman’s World. It was known, but by the time I joined, they had rebranded and were on Startimes. That actually stirred the passion within me to start my own programme for women. I saw that it had always been there and realized that it was a calling. After Woman’s World, I did Question of the Day and at that point, I had got children, two beautiful girls, and I love them so much. Then I was balancing career with having children and all that. It wasn’t easy, wasn’t too stable and then I moved on to Kaftan TV and I became the face of Kaftan TV. Here, I was doing so many things and they paid me to learn how to multi task.

    I was presenting Amazing Amazon, a woman’s programme. I was a producer, I was casting the news and presented so many programmes there. This developed a lot of skills that I thought I had, harnessing skills within me. At this point, I am happy with where I am. Now, I have my own platform called WomenConnect. I am hoping it will touch the life of every woman around the world. Not just Nigeria, but around the world. Women need more platforms for our voices to be heard and that is what WomenConnect stands for. It is a platform to inspire, empower and inform women. We have a TV show and we are promoting it online. We have a blog as well as a radio show; we have a lot; we have a programme with W.Fm. My broadcasting career has been awesome.

    What are the other things that occupy your time?

    The other thing that occupy my time is my phone. I am always on my phone. I am on a lot of WhatsApp groups, and so I like social engagements on social media, posting things to inform people, writing, blogging and all of that. So, those are the fun things that I do by the side. And, of course, watching movies.

    What are some of the changes that you will like to see in the modelling sector?

    Some of the changes that I would like to see in the modelling industry are a situation where you don’t have to be slim and very tall to be looked at as beautiful. I think beauty should be perceived differently. Beauty should be seen in the eyes of the beholder. It should be perceived in how confident the person is in their skin. There are lots of beautiful women who are plus sized, who are average. So, I feel that the modelling industry should portray how the average woman is looking, not just skinny and all of that.

    What are the challenges?

    I have some challenges that I face as an entrepreneur because right now, I am on my own. One of the challenges would be access to finance. This has always been the challenge for female entrepreneurs, hundreds of entrepreneurs from different sectors all say the same thing. I think the government has to look into that.

    Tell us about your role mentors and mentors?

    My role models is just one person. I love her, she is not a Nigerian, but I believe that I am going to meet her one day. I have always loved her platform when I was young. She has a platform where she interviews people and inspires them. She herself is an inspiration to so many girls. She has a story and she tells her story. What actually made her to be who she is right now? What actually moulded her to what she is right now? How I got to know the Oprah story was that in 2014 when I was doing a programme for women, I had not had my children. But then, someone said that I was not a woman enough to present the programme because I hadn’t had children. Then, someone told me something about Oprah Winfrey, that her producer once told her that she was not good enough for TV. Look at her now, she is everywhere. So, who would have thought someone would say something like that. So, turn your wounds into wisdom that is what I am doing right now. I have had a lot of bad times in the industry and in 2017 when TVC retrenched 150 staff I was among them. For me, every disappointment is a blessing in disguise.

    If you had to change something, what would it be?

    If I could change something in the industry, it will be how they perceive models. They feel that if you are a model, you are provocative and all of that. So, all those things have to change.  The perception as well as the fact that they need to make room for average women to actually showcase themselves.

    If you had to advise young people who want to come into the sector, what would you tell them?

    My advice to young people who want to come into the modelling and broadcasting sector is that the sky is big enough for all of us honestly. The sky is certainly your starting point and I believe that once you focus and put your mind at it, once you dream it , you can certainly achieve it.

    How do you relax?

    I relax by just having fun with my children, watching good movies

    What is your favourite travel destination?

    My favourite travel destination! I have been there once and I wish I could go there every single day. That is Dubai. I have been to so many places, but Dubai is different. I love Dubai, it is beautiful. The shopping experience and everything about it. The atmosphere is just a place to go to. It’s a beautiful place and everyone can attest to that.

    What type of books do you like to read?

    I like to read a lot of inspirational books by Joyce Meyer. Books that just make me to reflect on life and everything.

    What won’t you do in the name of fashion?

    Those crop tops that show your stomach is a no for me. That is something that I wouldn’t do. Also wearing a very short dress, you won’t catch me in that at all.

    Tell us about the principles that you hold onto in life?

    This includes forgive and forget. As long as people offend you, you need to forgive and forget. If you do not forgive that person, you will let them have power over you. Secondly, regardless of what you are going through as a Christian, you need to always thank God. When you thank God, He will certainly thank God. Number three, give even if it is your last. Givers never lack and the fourth is to have  good attitude. Your attitude speaks for you. Have good manners. Please, sorry and thank you go a long way. And finally, always ensure that you keep going, regardless of the situation. Times are hard, but keep pursuing your dreams. It will surely come to pass.

    What lessons has life taught you?

    I have learnt a lot of lessons in this life. One of the lessons is never look down on anybody because I have seen people who are small, nobody and they become somebody. You never know who that person would be one day. I have seen so many situations, so many things in my life that made me realise that we all need to be humble. You don’t know tomorrow, you don’t know who that person would be tomorrow, so keep being humble.

    What are you looking forward to now?

    In the midst of the pandemic this year, the most wonderful time of every year has brought hope into our lives, because 2020 is almost over. We want to share this significant Christmas with our Christmas Fair which starts from December 12th in Lagos. Speakers at the event include Titi Oyinsan, Founder IAmDynamite, Iwo Akinyoyenu, Founder Fit Fab and Alive. It is going to be a time to reflect on Surviving in a COVID-19 Era. There would be free gifts, food and a mobile spa.

  • How to build forgiveness in a relationship

    How to build forgiveness in a relationship

    By Rois Ola

    A lot of times we all believe saying good bye is a true end to everything of bad relationships but Goodbye is not always the answer and this is the case for both old and new relationships. No matter the level of mistakes you are currently facing in your relationship, it’s always worth it to try again as long as you know that both of you are willing to still make it work, emphasis on BOTH, because one person cannot achieve it alone. Being able to forgive and to let go of past hurts is a very important aspect in relationships .It helps to keep you healthy both emotionally and physically.

    For a fact there are some things that cannot easily be forgiven, they can be forgiven but not as quickly as some other things, not only because of the hurt that they have caused but also because of how it already tainted your trust in your partner and in your relationship. If you are stuck in this cycle of constantly failing to forgive no matter how much your partner has changed, this article will help you understand in clearer times the reason(S) why you need to forgive.

    One of the most important things I have experienced and learnt is that, forgiving and letting go may be one of the most important ways to keep you strong and sane. Some transgressions are so harmful and disastrous that a relationship may not be able to survive, but forgiveness can still play a role to healing and making things better, but of course time heals all wounds.

    The Importance to your health

    Holding onto hurts, disappointments,  annoyances,  even betrayals, insensitivity, and anger, you  will discover in no time that you are wasting both your time and your energy. Nursing your hurt (whether real or perceived) for too long can eventually make it turn into something more hate and extreme bitterness. And living a bitter life with who you supposedly love or care for only causes more damage than good.

    Not being able to forgive can also wear you down. It takes both a physical and mental toll on you causing depression and sometimes suicide. Resentment gains momentum and chips away at the foundation of your well-being and your relationship. The magic is in being able to share your feelings.

    The importance of forgiving your partner

    Betrayal of trust is a hard pill to swallow. I have been there and still doing what I can to heal, there are a number of ways one can use to find a place of forgiveness when you have experienced betrayal. Look at each method and find the combination that works best for you.

    • Be open to give and receive forgiveness.
    • Make an intentional decision to forgive your partner.
    • Think of a constructive and positive thing to do to distract yourself from dwelling on those thoughts, when images of the betrayal or hurt flash in your mind,
    • Refrain from throwing an error or mistake back in your spouse’s face at a later date, yes I know this is difficult, but try; don’t use it as ammunition in an argument, it takes practice but try not to.
    • Accept that you may never know the reason for the transgression, behavior, or mistake, confession may be very difficult to give or listen to, so accept you may never get the full story and move on.
    • Try not to seek revenge or retribution; trying to get even will only extend the pain and chances are good that this won’t really make you feel better anyway.
    • Remember that forgiveness does not mean that you condone the hurtful behavior.
    • Be patient with yourself. Being able to forgive your partner takes time. Don’t try to hurry the process.

    Get professional counseling to help you let go and forgive if you are still unable to forgive, or you find yourself thinking on the betrayal or hurt regularly, it won’t be easy but better to make an attempt than nothing at all.

    1. Put a stop to remembering the pain and hurt.

    If you want the wound of a mistake to fully heal, you should stop touching it – because what comes after healing is forgiveness, especially if it was done by someone you truly love. Stop thinking about what happened in the past and how it made you feel – as long as the lessons have been learned, you should do your best to stop reliving the pain and hurt. Move on and everything will follow.

    1. Try Give your partner a second chance, if they want it and are willing to work for it.

    People make mistakes and you, yourself, had your own share of regrets in the past. If you did something hurtful to someone you love like your partner, wouldn’t you want to be given a second chance? Just like how you think you deserve that chance, you should also give the same thought about your partner.

    As long as you know that they know what they did, how it affected your relationship, and the things that they should do to avoid repeating the same mistakes, then they deserve that second chance.

    1. Appreciate the changes they’ve made or trying to make.

    It can be hard for someone to change but do you wonder why they still try? Because they know that it’s the only way for them not to lose you – they want to stay and they’ll do everything for your relationship to be what it once was before, or better.

    1. Try to Make an effort to reach out.

    Perhaps your partner doesn’t feel like talking about the mistakes that they have done in the past that they tend to be quiet about how they truly feel. Their need to be forgiven sometimes makes them scared that they might say the wrong words again, and it might make things worse. What you can do is to assure them that your relationship is their safe place – they should not stop being who they are or stop expressing their thoughts just because they’re afraid to offend their partner again.

    1. Tell yourself why you fell in love.

    If all else fails, the best thing that you can do for yourself and your relationship is to remember why you are in this relationship in the first place. How did you fall in love? What are the things that you like about this person? What are the happiest memories you have together? Are those qualities still there?

    1. Pray for help and healing from God

    Let your faith and spiritual strength show you the way to find forgiveness in your heart. Sometimes, when you are hurting and in pain, you lose the courage to forgive someone who had caused you pain. What you can do is to pray for enlightenment and guidance, for wisdom and for healing, so that you will be able to have the strength to give your love another chance.

    1. Together, start over with a new love story if they are willing to.

    Let your road to forgiveness open a bigger door to a new stage in your relationship. Start over, start anew – and do this together. In order to build forgiveness in your relationship, you have to make an effort to take the first step. The road may look narrow and daunting, but never let this fear weaken your faith in the promise that you have made together.

    How to Ask you partner for Forgiveness

    If you are the one who has caused hurt and pain for your partner, you can ask for forgiveness in in order to rebuild trust in the relationship. Remember to give yourself and your partner time when working through the process. Time heals wounds if you allow it to.

    • Show true contrition and remorse for the pain that you’ve caused, let them see that you are sorry for what you have done.
    • Be willing to make a commitment to not hurt your partner again by repeating the hurtful behavior, any promise you make, you must fulfill.
    • Accept the consequences of the action that created the hurt, face them, deal with them directly and ensure it doesn’t happen again.
    • Be open to making amends and settling for peace.
    • Make a heartfelt and verbal apology; this includes a plan of action to make things right, sometimes words may not be enough.
    • Be patient with your partner. Being able to forgive you often takes time. Don’t dismiss your spouse’s feelings of betrayal by telling them to “get over it.” That will only make things worse.

    Everyone needs to forgive and to be forgiven. No healthy relationship, can be sustained over a long period of time without forgiveness. But remember that forgiveness isn’t absolution.

    Forgiveness is a conscious decision and a practice of releasing feelings of resentment. Forgiveness can provide you and your partner with the tools to process and move on. Even though you may find it find it difficult, being able to forgive is crucial for the long haul to so many things like your health, state of mind and general wellbeing, existing in an unforgiving state will destroy a lot of things for you. For you to succeed in living a fulfilled life, and enjoying relationships with others, you must learn to forgive. If it’s not working, then I pray God gives you the strength to make the necessary decisions and move. I wish you all the best!!!

  • Age…just a number

    Age…just a number

    By Vera Chidi-Maha

    When it comes to the issue concerning a man and a woman, the intrigues involved cannot be overemphasized. Especially when they are both romantically inclined a lot is really involved. They try to impress each other with everything within their reach. They try to look and act good just to get the other party to fall deeper and deeper in love. Then comes a time in the relationship when the man needs or wants to know how old the lady he is involves is really is. So he summons up the courage and asks ‘Baby@, how old are you? She hesitates a little thinking in her head” how old would be appropriate to tell this guy; or she thinks: “How old would he want me to be”; so she quickly responds oh; I am 30 or less depending on how old the guy is. I once read somewhere that. “a lady that can tell her age, can tell anything come to think of it, what has age got to do with anything. To me, you are as old as you feel!

    It is because of the emphasis our men folk attach to our age that makes ladies to lie about their age every lady wants to win an ideal man depending on her taste. And if reducing the age will make some women win the men of their dreams, well…. Why not? Once upon a time, I read somewhere that Nancy Reagan, the former first lady of United States, once celebrated her 60th birthday when in actual fact she was 62 years old. I have a mischievous female friend who has celebrated her 35th birthday for the third time. Another female colleague of mine come September will be celebrating her 40th birthday when in fact she will be 44.

    Well, guess why she reduced her age? She met and fell in love with a 45 year old divorcee who is proposing marriage to her. In order to keep him hooked she had to slice off four years from her age. Fortunately or unfortunately, it is working, for some reasons it is considered rude to ask a woman her age. Why should this be? I sometimes wonder. Surely age should not be such a big deal or should it? Clearly, for some women it is particularly for those who have reached their forties and fifties, and if they look younger than their years why would they want to admit to being older in a society which is obsessed with youthfulness? Women face a hard enough time as it is, since they are more likely to be discriminated against because of their gender, once you throw in age as well, then they could also be subject to ageism. This is a common problem faced by older women; studies have shown. So, it is hardly surprising that some will lie about their real age to make themselves appear younger than they are. In a situation where they are unable to get away with such a lie since they actually look their age, or may be even older, there are those who are prepared to take significant step to change their appearance so that they can look younger than they are. There are those women who were born with good genes according to Michelle Wilkinson, so that wrinkles and other tell-tale signs of age are not as much of a problem for them as for women who weren’t as lucky with genes they were given. Ultimately, however, limiting the signs of ageing depends on the kind of lifestyle a person leads. If you eat well, exercise regularly, avoid siting in the sun for too long, have never smoked and only drink alcohol in moderation, chances are you will look younger than a hardworking chain smoker. Women these days are prepared to spend a lot of money on cosmetic’s and anti-ageing products more out of hope that they will have an effect rather than actual belief they will work. Older women want to be as attractive as when they were younger so that they can still turn men’s head, particularly if they find themselves single as older women or lady. They dye their hair, shed some weight. If they can and apply various products to their face in an attempt to disguise their age and will even lie if necessary.

    The isn’t enough for some women and there are those who spend money undergoing plastic surgery, from breast implantations to nose lifts, cheeks filled out, their lips pumped up and their wrinkles obliterated with the help of minimally invasive cosmetic procedures.

    In a youth-obsessed world, older women are having to compete with their female counterparts; in terms of jobs and relationships; and some are prepared to use rather underhand measures to stay on top, which means hiding their real age.

    The truth remains that it is a youth obsessed world here and our females are definitely playing their part.