Category: Saturday Magazine

  • I feel cramps in my vagina when my boyfriend touches me

    Dear Aunty Ade, I’m 29 and one of your favourite fans; I always read your column. I have a big problem that is tearing me and my boyfriend apart. I feel cramps in my vagina when I’m not menstruating especially when my boyfriend touches me, like if he tries to kiss or caress me or even hold me. Please I need your help. Your biggest fan, Nancy.

    I suspect you have Vaginismus. Vaginismus is vaginal tightness causing discomfort, burning, pain, penetration problems, or complete inability to have intercourse.Vaginismus is a condition where there is involuntary tightness of the vagina during attempted intercourse. The tightness is actually caused by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. The woman does not directly control or ‘will’ the tightness to occur; it is an involuntary pelvic response. She may not even have any awareness that the muscle response is causing the tightness or penetration problem.

    In some cases vaginismus tightness may begin to cause burning, pain, or stinging during intercourse. In other cases, penetration may be difficult or completely impossible. Vaginismus is the main cause of unconsummated relationships. The tightness can be so restrictive that the opening to the vagina is ‘closed off’ altogether and the man is unable to insert his penis. The pain of vaginismus ends when the sexual attempt stops, and usually intercourse must be halted due to pain or discomfort.

    Vaginismus can normally be treated and fully overcome in a reasonable time frame. Motivated women without significant complications usually find that six weeks is adequate to resolve their sexual pain or penetration problems. Research has shown that even two-week time frames are potentially realistic where there is an intense ‘full-time’ effort, professional assistance, and no significant complications. See your health care specialist for counseling. If they can’t help, I can help you procure a kit to help you overcome the problem.

  • As the chair of a bank, I’m a coach in my own right- Ex-Skye Bank MD Akinsola Akinfemiwa

    As the chair of a bank, I’m a coach in my own right- Ex-Skye Bank MD Akinsola Akinfemiwa

    Former Managing Director of Skye Bank, Akinsola Akinfemiwa, is back in the banking industry as Chairman of Heritage Bank after a brief absence. But his most exciting experience now appears to be his new portfolio as Vice Chairman of government-owned Transmission Company of Nigeria (TCN). He sees the appointment as an opportunity to contribute to a history-making venture. In this interview with SEGUN AJIBOYE, he talks about his family life and his life as a banker. Excerpts:

    Some people have described you as a banking whiz-kid. Do you agree with this?

    When people talk about whiz-kid, it is not about being brilliant. It is about leadership. You train people, groom them and they start to depend on you. You lay out what the values are, train people to be able to take decisions. We always have our own whiz-kids in our lives. These are people that we rely on; people that we believe can come with the solutions. They are people who over time we depend on to come up with the answers. To me, that is whiz-kid.

    How challenging was your tenure as MD/CEO?

    I know that I did my best when I was in that industry. As a practitioner, you go in there and give your best. Yes, the last few years of my banking experience were very challenging, but they were also very exciting. You pushed in all directions and put in all your energy because it was new. We put together five banks with the consolidation exercise. You define the tactics that you want to adopt, and people follow you. Sometimes, these people don’t even know why they are following you. The reason they follow you is because they believe in you. As the leader, you are the enable.

    It is not often that you get one person to head two different banks at different times. How did you achieve this?

    If you look at it from the perspective of a profession, then you’ll know that because you have built sets of skills in your career, when people need those skills, they go out to look for you. That is the way it has happened all my life. I’m doing a particular job and something new comes up, and the owners of that business are looking for a CEO that can do the job, and they call you up and give it to you because they know that you can do the job.

    I am a professional manager. Even as Chairman of Heritage Bank, it is the same thing. I joke with people that though I have retired from banking, I am now playing the role of a coach like you have in football. I am no longer the CEO or playing a management role. I now play the role of a teacher, telling them which way to go and sharing my experiences in banking with the board.

    Where do you get the energy to do all these?

    Like I said, it is a different ball game. I believe you are looking at it from the point of an every day job. As chairman of the board, the people are more interested in the value you bring into the board. You could even work, expressing your views to them via a mail or telephone. It can also be that they want you to open a path somewhere for them. Even for you as a person, you are also working, building experiences because you are also learning from the people you meet on the board. There are new things that you are learning from your colleagues on the board.

    As MD/CEO, you oversaw the consolidation of Skye Bank. How challenging was it?

    For me, it was what they call joyful stress. It was challenging, but because you felt you were doing something great, you were happy doing it. You didn’t even notice the pressure. The drive is there for you to continue to work and enjoy it. I think this is in all professions, especially if you feel you are achieving results, you feel you are pushing or providing solutions. That was the way I felt.

    It was very tough, and it was happening for the very first time in my life, bringing people together from different backgrounds, different organisations. It was very tough, but you also thank God that He saw you through. That is the way I would put it. It was some experience because we have heard of two companies coming together, but when you have five companies coming together, and the most difficult aspect is managing the people. You can control the rest of the elements; they listen to you and go the way you want. But when you have people, they come with their biases and mindsets. And there is nothing you do or say that can make them change. And you realise that these are adults, some of whom are older than you. They are biased not because they hate you, but because they see things differently. So the ability to put these people together, to do what they say they won’t do and still enjoy doing it is the challenge.

    What’s your impression of the banking industry in Nigeria?

    We have made a lot of progress. The industry has done quite well. The regulators have done quite well. Frankly, I look at it from the point of view of when I was there. If they hadn’t done what they did, you’ll begin to wonder where we would have been today. But banking industry worldwide, you see this challenge coming every 10 years. Things have been done in Nigeria to make sure that the banks are stronger. And those managing are a bit more careful, while the regulators have learnt more lessons in the last few years. But there are still more to do in the area of training, capacity building and to ensure that what have been achieved is sustained. By and large, I think what we have today is fairly better and stronger than what we had a few years ago.

    And what would you say about the Nigerian economy?

    That’s a tough one. If you go by the reports that we read, we should be doing very well. Seven per cent, eight per cent GDP and all, they all sound very good. Countries that have recorded these GDPs are doing very well. And if you record this for 10 years, you become China and other emerging big economies of the world. But when you look at what you have on ground, then you begin to think maybe we need to be careful with statistics. The economy has huge potential. The young people are very vibrant and energetic. So what is important is what we do with these people. We need to train them, equip them so that they can contribute to the economy.

    There is also the issue of governance. People have said there is a correlation between governance and progress. If you have a high rate of corruption in a nation, the economy will be weak. But if you have transparent and low level of corruption like we have in some parts of the world, then you would see that they do well and progress. So we need to deal with that and begin to measure how our economy is doing.

    I also believe in education. They say labour is cheap in Nigeria, but when you buy a cheap labour and you get a bad result and you end up doing same job two, three times, then you’ll realise that labour is not cheap in Nigeria and many of the African countries because the quality of job is so poor that we end up depending on other countries of the world. And as long as we continue to do this, it means that employment and production will continue to happen out there and not here. We would then continue to have a huge number of unemployable people.

    For example, if you train as a doctor or nurse in Nigeria, you’ll find that there are some parts of the world that you cannot practise. And this is in almost every profession. So we need to know that education is very critical. We need to begin to train our people. We cannot continue to depend on this consumption economy whereby all we do is to produce oil, sell it, bring back the money and spend. We need to build our own capacity for people to produce and consume what we produce. I think the economy has huge potential, but I think we are so far away from where we should be. And when we compare ourselves with countries like Malaysia, Singapore and others, then we should ask ourselves where we are in all of this.

    As a country, I don’t think we can say our economy is doing so well until we are in control of all these things. How can we say our country is doing well when power is at less than 4000 megawatts? And the country that we compete with in Africa, South Africa, is at well over 40,000 megawatts. For me, we would not be sincere to say that we are happy with what we have. Sometimes I have the nightmare that what happens if the oil of this nation dries up one day? What happens to us, if something happens and the oil dries up?

    You are the Vice Chairman of the Transmission Company of Nigeria. What is this new experience like for you?

    I think the power thing is more important than the bank thing. About 10 years ago, I went for a programme, where you tried to plan how your future would be, and one of the things I wanted to do after the corporate world was try and see what it is like in government business. Now I have this opportunity as the Vice Chairman of the Transmission Company of Nigeria (TCN). It is the government business in the power value line. The other two have been privatised. You have the TCN in-between the power generation and distribution companies. So, what is left of what used to be PHCN is the TCN.

    That is what I am saying about the job being very exciting, to see how this would work out. People have said that the TCN is the weak link in the power line, but I believe that if TCN is given the necessary support by the owners, which is the government, I mean in the same way the other two companies would get from their owners, there is no reason why the company should fail. I have seen it. The people on the board are professionals.

    My view is that I have seen it work in the last one year, and we would be achieving results very soon. I am learning a lot about how government works. But to move from 2000 megawatts, the generation company must be ready to pump in resources to generate. The TCN must be willing to transport whatever is generated to the distribution company. I have realised today that sometimes, if we have blackout, it may not be coming from transmission. It may be from generation or distribution. For instance, there could be a gas problem or the water level is low. I think with the support from government, which has been promised, and also with some new ideas, we could begin to outsource some of the lines. You could build a transmission line, like we have with the toll roads, so that we can call for more investment. We can begin to look for creative ways to increase capacity in that sector.

    So if you ask me what I’m doing here, I would tell you that it is exciting for me to learn more about what I think would be profound for the nation, to look for solutions to our power challenges. I also think the power sector privatization has gone very well in spite of what some people may want to believe. I hope those who have acquired these plants would put all their efforts to make them work, modernise the plants and to get the needed human resources to manage them. Being part of this power thing really excites me.

    Would I be right to say it is a challenge for you?

    Yes, it is. But I am enjoying it basically because is providing a solution to a problem.

    You have a foundation, the Araba Foundation. What do you hope to achieve with this?

    A step each by every one of us would bring about a huge change to our nation. If, for instance, there is the need for us to clean this nation, and I decide that my immediate environment must be clean. If everybody begins to do same, the whole country would be clean.

    We can continue to condemn government till eternity, but who is the government? We complain, but fail to do anything about our own immediate environment. If you play your part and I play mine, then things will change for us. We complain about Nigeria too much. It took a group of people to say we need a change. I know a lot of state governors who marvel at what is happening in Lagos. Remember the type of taxis that we had in Lagos. But the government went out to negotiate with banks and other organisations to make a change. And the truth is that things are working in Lagos.

    Let us go a bit personal. What was growing up like for you?

    I was a son of a civil servant. I had an average growing up. I went to school when everybody my age went to school. There was nothing unusual.

    You mean nothing like a privileged background?

    Like I said, my father was a civil servant, middle-level civil servant, and we had the privilege of going to school. I went to secondary school and after that went to the university.

    You studied Agricultural Economics at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. Was this deliberate or was the course chosen for you?

    I was 16 when we were taking this decision, so it wasn’t really about ‘I want to be this or I want to be that’. The fact was that one of my seniors in school had gone to the University of Nigeria. He is a professor now. A lot of my mates were doing Medicine and Pharmacy at the time. And for some reasons, I wanted to be different. I actually wanted to study Economics, but I didn’t get it.

    Another thing was the idea of travelling to the east of the country, the River Niger and all that. All these were too exciting for me. I wanted the adventure, wanting to see the stories that we had been told by the senior. And my father did not like the idea of going abroad to study. He seized all the forms that we tried to use for admission into schools abroad

    What reason did he give for this?

    I think it had to do with personal experience. Some of his friends who went there to study didn’t come back, and those who came back didn’t do too well. Maybe one or two personal experiences, but he was dead against travelling abroad.

    Who would you say has had the most profound impact on your life and career?

    It was my father. He was my very good friend. He was the one that built me up. It was his combination with my uncle, his brother. They both did a whole lot of work on me. Like my father, my uncle directed everywhere that we should go. My uncle, whom I lived with during the earlier part of my life, was a civil servant. I think his position at the time would be the equivalent of the chief accountant of the nation today. And my father was always there for philosophy, for explanation of things about life. He was wise. He had a world view about things. He made me realise early that if you have a good education, then you have the key to success. So my uncle and my father were the two people who took turns to groom me.

    Was meeting your wife the usual love at first sight as some would claim?

    My wife was my friend before we started to date. We lived in the same neighbourhood. Her brother was also my friend and colleague. We did things together, read books together, argued together and one thing led to the other.

    So how has it been?

    Almost 30 years with four kids, it has been wonderful. She takes care of things.

    Any special secret?

    I think it’s your own style. Remember that we talked about inter-personal skill. My thing is that you first have to make up your mind that you want to make the union work. I tell people that marriage is like any other contract. You play your part, I play mine. That is the only way to make the contract work. And that is why we go to court to sign agreement. But the problem is that people want to go outside of that agreement to do things. People must be patient with each other because they come from different backgrounds.

    Another thing I found out in marriages with challenges is that people want the other person to be like them. We try to force the other person to be us, and we fail in doing this. But generally, I think men don’t listen to their wives because they see themselves as men. But I think men should listen more to their wives. On the other hand, women want to convert their men to whom they feel he should be. I would advise the women to relax. The two should know that they are both different, so there would be different opinions. They should just try to find a common ground for their opinions.

    I am professional. I dress to meet my professional needs. Yes I may read the fashion books, but I don’t go out of my way to dress. I know what is decent, and what I should wear or should not wear. But I would not describe myself as a fashion icon.

    How do you relax?

    Like I said, I love music. I love to be with people, to party. And of course, I love to watch movies and to go out with my friends and family. Somebody once described me as Liverpool FC because I am always in company with my friends and family.

  • CARNIRIV begins tomorrow

    CARNIRIV begins tomorrow

    Preparations for this year’s edition of the Rivers State-owned tourism carnival,the Port Harcourt Carnival (CARNIRIV 2013),have gone upbeat as various groups from the 23 local government areas of the state conducted their final rehearsals during the week, days ahead of the carnival which begins tomorrow with the Kids’ Carnival.

    In the same manner, facelift and environmental enhancement of venues that have been designated to host specific events have been carried out to create nice ambience for the participants. For instance, the Liberation Stadium, which also doubles as the Carnival Village and host centre of most of the events, has undergone tremendous transformation in preparation for the carnival. Among the events that will take place at the stadium are Kids’ Carnival, CARNIRIV official opening ceremonies, Dance of Fireflies (DOFF), Cultural Arts Exhibition, Egelege: Champions of the Sand Arena, Ekere: Rhythm of the Tribes, HOSH Jam: Port Harcourt Exclusive, Black Africa Music Festival (BAMFest), Reggae 360 and the World Peace Concert/closing ceremonies.

    Stadium Road, venue of the Carnival Praise Jam, has also worn a new look while the Lagos Bus Stop/Aggrey Road, venue of the Pilgrimage ’88 and Old Port Harcourt Town Groove is not left out. The surrounding of the Port Harcourt Tourist Beach has also been enhanced in readiness for the International Aquatic Fiesta just as Rumuola Road down to Aggrey Road has also been prepared The Director-General, Rivers State Tourism Development Agency (RSTDA), Dr. Sam Dede, while providing update on CARNIRIV 2013, assured participants all over the world of the readiness of the government and people of Rivers State to host them to another glamorous cultural and tourism fiesta beginning from December 15 to Saturday 21 in Port Harcourt. He said everything was ready from the preparation of the venues for all the lined-up events to the confirmation of international guest artistes and their Nigerian counterparts. Besides, he said all the logistics such as the construction of booths and stages for specific events across locations as well as musical equipment and sound gadgets were also in place. He added that other critical success factors like traffic management, emergency and ambulance service, security and uninterrupted electricity at designated event venues had been taken care of, as part of plans to ensure a hitch-free CARNIRIV this year.

  • ‘Rugged’ to the grave

    ‘Rugged’ to the grave

    An expose on the dangerous,  deadly world of Nigerian  campus confraternities

    Guns don’t kill people, people kill people, noted Earl Simmons (a.k.a DMX), American artiste, in a 2000 box office hit, Romeo Must Die. The artiste was preaching the futility of unnecessary gang violence to rival gangsters before a gunfight in his club. You could be forgiven for thinking Simmons had Nigeria in mind when he made the statement. As you read, violence through the gun barrel has escalated, precipitated by regional and ethnic conflicts, campus cult violence and political disorder. OLATUNJI OLOLADE, Assistant Editor, reports the situation and the effects on the society as ECOWAS moves to stem the proliferation of arms in the West African region.

    SOMETIME in the twilight of 2001, Dare Alayinde became the bullies’ favourite. At 27, he was in his second year in the university and he was being picked upon by gangsters otherwise known as secret cult boys. That had to be frustrating because he was also a cult boy.

    Alayinde belonged to the Supreme Eiye Confraternity (SEC). In fact, he joined in order to guarantee his freedom and stop paying ‘security dues’ to the ruling confraternity on campus, like his rivals did. Alayinde was a photographer with a five-month old child and Ireti, his wife, who attended the same school with him.

    After joining SEC, Alayinde stopped paying ‘security due’ like his rival photographers but then he was forced to pay a different kind of due. He had to pay the N2, 000 annual due imposed upon every member of his cult group. Although he joined SEC to avoid paying the N5, 000 security due collected from every photographer working on his school’s ‘motion ground’ (photo avenue), Alayinde had to contend with all manners of demand and financial levies which made being a ‘strong man’ (cultist) not quite attractive as it seemed from a distance.

    “He was always complaining that he wasn’t enjoying the benefits of joining the cult…One day he came home badly bruised and without the zoom lens to his camera. He said they had seized it because he refused to pay his annual cult dues. I told him to take heart that God would provide him money to get a new one but he said that he didn’t need a new one. He claimed God won’t come to his aid because God expected him to liberate himself,” said Ireti.

    Hence at the advice of a friend, he purchased a 9mm semi-automatic pistol assuring his wife that it would garner him the respect he deserved. Expectedly, he stopped paying his dues. He got the respect he sought and ascended the rank of his cult gang.

    “Suddenly, he (Alayinde) became erratic and threatened to ‘light’ (shoot) people up at the slightest provocation. He tendered and polished his gun every night calling it his baby. He told me he was being considered for office (executive post) and when my plea that he backed out fell on deaf ears, I decided to leave him,” said Ireti.

    But just before she did so, a fracas broke out between her husband’s group and the Buccaneers, a rival cult; in the melee, Alayinde was shot and butchered in a reprisal attack. Although he was able to kill two of his assailants, his “baby” couldn’t save him.

    “He made me a widow at the age of 21. I warned him against joining the cult but he refused to listen to me. He said once he becomes an officer, life will become rosy for us. He said he would be placed on a monthly salary that would augment his income from his photography business. I feared he would die before his time and he did,” said Ireti with a painful sigh.

    More pathetic was the case of Damilola Olaniyan Ibraheem a.k.a Damoche; the fast rising hip hop artiste and undergraduate of Lagos State University (LASU) was brutally hacked down in March by rival confraternity, Black Axe members. Damoche, a 400 level Banking and Finance undergraduate and suspected SEC member was shot twice in the head and on the left hand with what appeared to be a high caliber weapon. He lay dead for several hours before policemen arrived to take his body away in a pick-up van. Even though the police have been unable to resolve his murder, no fewer than three students have been killed in reprisal attacks over the death of the late artiste.

  • Simple but  significant

    Simple but significant

    Considering the fact that you need to look your best to any occasion you will be going this festive season, then you can always check these outfits out and select the one that suits you best.

  • A love to hold (1)

    A friend of mine used to say something that I often found puzzling. “You can’t control who you fall in love with,” she said with the wisdom of an elderly person whereas she was just a young, precocious school girl of 16.

    My present situation brings to mind those words succinctly. I never planned to fall for Lenny. It just happened and now I have to face so much heartache and uncertainty over my future because of my heart’s desires. Lenny and I love each other very much and we want to be together. But so many obstacles have sprung up against us that sometimes I wonder if we can ever make it as a couple, something we so much want.

    As I write this, I’m full of despair, wondering what will happen to Lenny and I, to our love. My present mood is in sharp contrast to my state of mind at the period I first met him. It was like this. I had just been promoted in my office to a senior position with a higher salary, an official car and other perks.

    Feeling euphoric, I had contacted a couple of my friends for a celebratory dinner. Two of them, Neenah, a very good friend who is like a sister to me and another named Maria turned up. It was just the three of us and we had a swell time at a nice, upscale restaurant I had picked for our outing.

    It was at the end of the evening that Neenah told me about her cousin, Lenny. He was an IT specialist, she said who had trained in the U.S and returned to set up his own consultancy firm the year before.

    “He’s very good. Since he’s been handling the systems in our office, we’ve not been having much problems with our computers and network. I’m not saying this because he’s my cousin. You need to recommend him to your company,” she said.

    I told her I would consider it and promptly forgot about the matter. I remembered her words though, about two weeks later. We had been having major problems with our systems and my immediate boss was considering bringing in someone to overhaul them. It was then I remembered Neenah’s cousin.

    I called her and she arranged a meeting for the following day. She arrived with him at my office shortly before noon.

    “This is Lenny, my cousin. Please give him all the assistance you can,” she said.

    “Alright, Neenah. I’ll do my best,” I assured her as I looked over her relative. He was of average height, with a quiet, serious mien and looked to be in his late 20s.

    Later, after Neenah had left to go back to her work, Lenny and I sat in my office for a while to review the proposal he had made on our systems overhaul and maintenance. I showed it to my boss and he seemed to like it.

    “Bring the young man to me after the departmental meeting later,” he said.

     

    Blossoming romance

    Lenny got the job and he immediately set to work. It was a long term job which involved him and a couple of his staff coming to our company nearly everyday. He was very appreciative of the help I had given him in winning the IT contract and one day, he invited me out for dinner, ‘just to say thank you,’ as he put it. I declined at first, thinking it was not necessary.

    “Neenah is like a sister to me and I will do anything for her,” I told him that afternoon. But he persisted and I graciously gave in.

    We went to a new place that had just opened on Victoria Island. That evening I saw the other side of Lenny, his fun relaxed side which was not noticeable at work. He told so many jokes especially about his school days in the States that I laughed nearly throughout the evening.

    “That was so much fun,” I stated sincerely as he took me home later.

    “Yes, I had a swell time too,” he said. Then he added: “Perhaps, we can do this again, some other time?”

    I looked at closely before saying in a slightly amused tone of voice:

    “Are you asking me out on a date?”

    He shrugged.

    “If you put it that way; yes,” he replied, taking his eyes briefly from the wheel to glance keenly at me.

    “Well, thanks for the invite but sorry, it’s a no,” I said lightly.

    “Why? Is it that you don’t like me?” he asked.

    I laughed briefly before saying:

    “My dear, this has got nothing to do with liking you or not. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m Neenah’s (whom by the way you call ‘Sister Neenah’) close friend and age mate. That should give you a clue.”

    “So, it’s because of the age gap then,” he finally stated.

    “Now you are talking! I should be like 7 years or so older than you,” I pointed out.

    “But you don’t look it. You could pass for someone my age or even younger,” he stated, looking at me again. Even in the dimness of the car, I could see the admiration in his eyes.

    “Thanks for the compliment. But that does not change the fact we are not mates. So, let’s drop this, shall we?” I said, and taking my phone from my bag, I checked my mixed calls and messages.

    I thought I had heard the last of the matter, but to my surprise Lenny kept on pestering me to go out with him. His persistence amused me at first but when it became too much, I had to put my foot down.

    “Lenny,” I said one evening in my office, “This must stop! There can never be anything between us. Don’t you get it? I’m not for you!” I said in an exasperated tone. He had just invited me to attend the birthday party of a friend in Surulere.

    “What will your friends say when they see you with someone like me, your elder sister’s mate?” I queried.

    “Seeing me with a beauty like you, they will call me a lucky guy and will be envious of me too,” he stated, smiling at me.

    I was not amused.

    “Well, good luck to them. But the fact remains that, I see you more like a younger brother not…” I began saying when he butted in:

    “As a man,” he said. Then he added: “Look, I’m a man and I know what I want. And I’ve liked you from the first day I saw you. You are on my mind all the time. Even at night, my sleep is haunted by thoughts of you. Agreed, there are a few years’ gap between us but why should that be a problem when it comes to love? I think you don’t like me, that’s the real problem,” he concluded sounding gloomy.

    He was not quite correct on that. Truth was, I was beginning to like him. He was intelligent, hardworking and also good-looking too. Besides, he was mature and focused for his age. He knew what he wanted out of life and he always worked hard towards his goals. He was my type, the kind of guy I liked and if things were different, I would have accepted him as I was not in a serious relationship then. Six months before, I had broken up with my boyfriend when he kept insisting on my having a baby before our marriage. When I pointed out to him that it should be the other way round, marriage before babies, he had got angry and walked out. Out of my life for good. I was not in love with him anyway, so his leaving was no big loss to me. Infact, I felt more of relief than heartbreak after that break-up.

    Since then though, I had been praying for a decent man to come my way, someone who will love me for myself and not as a potential baby making factory. So far, my prayers seemed to have gone unanswered.

    Lenny was still speaking.

    “Please, Rosa, don’t let such an inconsequential thing as age difference stop us. Give me a chance and I know you will grow to like me with time. Stop pushing me away. Please,” he pleaded earnestly.

    I studied him for a while, noting the sincerity in his voice, his dark eyes.

    I made up my mind then.

    “Alright, let’s do it like this then…” And I began to speak of a way out…

     

    •What did Rosa say to Lenny? Details next week!

     

    •Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story.

     

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

     

  • Iyabo Obasanjo lies low

    Iyabo Obasanjo lies low

    That Senator Iyabo Obasanjo lost her bid to return to the upper chamber of the National Assembly in 2011 is no longer news. What seems to be of concern to her admirers is the rate at which the once ubiquitous former Ogun State commissioner for health has rolled back into political oblivion.

    Since the embarrassing loss of her seat in the Senate in 2011, she has been absent from the political and social scenes.

    The veterinary doctor turned politician and eldest daughter of former President Olusegun Obasanjo was once a recurring feature on the social scene when her father held sway as President. By virtue of her father’s position, she became a well sought after acquaintance of many. Not only was she appointed a commissioner by the Otunba Gbenga Daniel administration in Ogun State, she was always on the road attending one inauguration ceremony after the other.

    The ex-senator whose marriage to Jimi Bello crashed many years ago, could not secure a ministerial appointment under President Goodluck Jonathan as earlier rumoured. She then relocated abroad for further studies, hoping to get from academics the certificate she could not get from INEC.

    As 2015 draws closer, it is not yet clear which direction Iyabo Obasanjo will go.

  • Blue is new  black

    Blue is new black

    HAVE you ever noticed that blue is one beautiful colour for an outfit to wear anytime of the year? A bright blue dress with some amazing make-up on your face will perk up your appearance. Wearing blue this festive season would be appreciated by all, as blue is part of the Christmas colours. You can wear a blue short gown to occasions like dinner, wedding and the like. This colour suits any complexion, be it chocolate or fair and dark. Why not try out this blue dresses and see how good it will look on you.

  • Akeem Shodeinde reopens Movida Night Club

    Akeem Shodeinde reopens Movida Night Club

    Now that the recuperation period of the self-acclaimed king of nightclub, Akeem Shodeinde, is over, it is time to get Movida Night Club back on its feet. Akeem who went through a life-threatening renal failure reopened the once hippy club penultimate Friday with a ‘welcome back’ party with friends and fans who have been itching for the resuscitation of the club.

    The ‘General of night clubs’ in Nigeria hosted a lot of happening guys to a swell time and took them down the memory lane. He took time to remind the attendants about how he put all his resources into the night club business at a time it was the most difficult business to do.

    Akeem’s passion for night club business is legendary as he has seen the ups and downs of the industry. The club was shut down when the people appointed to handle it while he was away allegedly messed up its finances. The closure took the pressure off him as he fully concentrated on his deteriorating health.

    Movida’s new bar area has now been redesigned and it is wearing a new look. A new cigar bar has also been added. The cigar bar is now managed by Carline, the ex-Caribbean model who supplies cigar lovers in Lagos, Abuja & Accra.

  • Deji of Akure’s  last outing

    Deji of Akure’s last outing

    There is the belief in certain parts of Africa that when an individual is rumoured dead while he is still alive, it is a sign that the individual will live very long. So, when in August the Deji of Akure, Oba Adebiyi Adegboyega Adesida, was rumoured dead, his family members and well wishers paraded the streets of Akure to dispel his death rumour, his subjects heaved a sigh of relief believing that their king would live very long. The king was carried shoulder-high by palace guards in a show of happiness that he was hale and hearty.

    It came as a rude shock therefore when the news of his death hit the airwaves a few days ago. It was even more shocking that his death occurred barely a week after his son’s high profile wedding. His only son, Prince Adetunji Oluwagbemiga Adesida, got married to Frankella Kasope, the daughter of Chief Frank Kargbo-Reffell penultimate Saturday at Yard 158, Oregun, Lagos. The deceased monarch was full of life at the event, as he was seen throwing banters with many of his friends.

    Indeed, there was nothing to suspect that his exit from this mundane world was imminent. It was one fulfilling moment for the king who witnessed the conjugal vows of his only son and heir apparent.