Category: Saturday Magazine

  • Renewing your marital relationship (4)

    Dear Reader,

    We have come to the concluding part of this month’s teaching. In the past teachings, we learnt how to build a strong expectation and intimacy. Last week, we were also taught types of intimacy.

    This week, I will be sharing with you on Spices For A Sweet Relationship. It will interest you to know that God instituted marriage and intended every house to be a sweet and peaceful home. Most Christians dream of a sweet home, a place where joy, peace, prosperity and fruitfulness abound. But they are not ready to pay the price it takes, for their dreams to find fulfilment.

    I would like you to know that a successful home is possible; but it does not happen by chance. You must programme it, if you desire it. You must take responsibility for the renewing of your marital relationship, because whatever you make or fail to make of it, is what it becomes. If you want your marriage to fulfill God’s will, you had better start doing what you are supposed to be doing, as a child of God. God has given you brain, so that you can let Him rest. The following are simple truths you can apply practically to your relationship and marriage, so your home can take a new turn.

    Appreciate the good in your spouse and family members, and then the bad will depreciate

    Whatever good thing and strong point you can see in the life of your spouse, let it be a source of your happiness and inspiration. Praise God for this aspect of his/her life, and then every other area where he/she does not measure up to, will begin to disappear in your eyes.

    Celebrate your spouse – Remember that other people are secretly wishing this same man or woman is their husband or wife. Keep that which you have jealously. Magnify your spouse in the face of the devil.

    Sow joy – Remember that it is what you sow that you shall reap. If you sow excitement into the atmosphere in your home, you will reap joyful family members. You will be happy yourself and your home shall be full of joy.

    Adapt to your spouse – Like what your spouse likes. Know his/her tastes and flow along with him/her. That way, you will feel free and flow.

    Maintain body contact always – This does not necessarily mean sex. Hug each other. Give little kisses. Give your spouse a peck of encouragement, especially in public. Don’t be ashamed to hold your spouse. Be free, not of necessity, but as a life-style.

    Create Godly (not good) climate around your home – A Godly climate will eventually produce good climate. Fill your home with Christian music, Christian books, inspirational materials, etc. Let everything around your home spell God.

    Organise Feasts – Learn to celebrate important days and events. Make it a habit, remembering birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc. Make big events, out of ordinary days. Use these occasions to get excited and rejoice with your family members. You don’t have to call people. Gather your wife and children and just celebrate with whatever thing you have.

    Be one – Do things with your spouse. Pray together and do things in common. Let your children see oneness in you. A house divide against itself cannot stand. Communicate and know your spouse, to be able to vouch for him/her when not there. It makes you happy.

    Give no place to the spirit of unforgiveness – During a lifetime together, marriage partners will naturally make mistakes and offend each other. No human being is perfect. God’s Word calls on us to forgive: “…Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye” (Colossians 3:13). If you don’t forgive, you will not be forgiven. If your wife or husband offends or goes wrong somehow, correct him/her immediately in love, and forgive. Also forget.

    Be Contented – Contentment brings satisfaction. If you are not contented, you cannot be happy. Be satisfied with your husband, your wife, your children, your finances, your life and environment. Praise God, and you’ll be happy.

    The journey of ensuring that order reigns in your home, begins with new birth. You get born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins.  Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!

    Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel.  No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Flaunt  your hidden treasures

    Flaunt your hidden treasures

    THE facial appearances of ladies are uniquely catchy and leave you breathless. But we owe our flawless looks to our diamonds hidden just beside our faces.

    Earrings have been worn for centuries and have always been a symbol of wealth and fashion sense. It is a piece of jewellery attached to our ears, especially the lobe. The earrings are also essential for facial transformation. As part of women accessories, there are different types of earrings and you need to identify the type that would look good on your face type.

    This list includes stud earrings, hoop earrings, dangle earrings and huggy earrings. Interestingly, you also have what is called the slave earrings which can be classified into the two major classes of earrings: fine jewelry earrings and fashion jewellery earrings.

    The perfect earrings will complete any outfit; from the traditional attires to the ball-room gowns and down to the official look or casuals. While there are hidden secrets about earrings, the problem with choosing earrings is finding the right ones to wear. To accentuate your natural beauty with the perfect, elegant and simple earring, it is germane to choose the right earrings.

    While some women choose to complement their skin tones with their earrings, most fashion experts agree that it is more important to choose earrings that flatter the general face shapes. The woman’s face shapes fall into the various categories which are the oval, round, heart-shaped, square, and narrow-shaped face.

    You can avoid appearing overdone with your earrings or with a longer face than you can recognise or appearing with a shorter neck than you have.

    •Oval faces should go for an oval-shaped dangling earring as this will draw elegance to the face shape without adding any width or length. Though any type of earring will suit an oval face, it is important that attention is placed on the details of the earring; shape, dangling etc.

    •Women with round faces should aim to elongate their faces and therefore should choose teardrop and avoid dangling circular disc as this is likely to increase the width of the face and make it wider.

    •Heart-shaped faces should most time go with pieces with elongated curves such as chandelier earrings in diamond shapes to add interesting contrast to the face.

    •Square faces should choose earrings with rounded designs that soften the cheekbones and jaw lines such as the hoop earrings. The hoop earrings will soften the face and make it appear smaller.

    •Pearl earrings are perfect for narrow-shaped faces as dangle earrings tend to minimise the length of a very narrow face.

  • Rose’s Top 10

    Rose’s Top 10

    Favourite shoe designer

    Diesel

     

    Favourite bag designer

    Diesel

    Nollywood actress, Rose Amrayebure, reveals her favourite things to Judith Omotineh Adomagbo 

    Favourite wrist watch

    Diesel

     

    Favourite car

    Touareg

     

    Favourite perfume

    Elizabeth Arden

     

    Favourite sunglasses

    Gucci

     

    Favourite neck accessory

    Steel(white gold)

     

    Favourite colour

    Pink and white

     

    Favourite beach

    Lekki Beach

     

    Favourite underwear

    Victoria Secrets

  • Classy handbags

    Classy handbags

    WE all know that trendy styles of handbags, most especially if these are designer handbags that are very tempting to buy even though they don’t suit your figure. But this attitude is not an ideal way to make your outfit stand out. Keeping up on the latest fashion is not just enough to make you shine. Always remember that anything you wear must have some coordination and balance with your body. For some women who are fashion enthusiasts, choosing and matching handbags are just simple, but for others who are not, it’s not just as easy. Since most women always keep their eyes on hot styles and designs of handbags, they become more focused on following these latest fashion trends without considering if handbags will suit their figure. Perhaps, this is one of the most common mistakes that they make. Instead of buying the right handbag that matches their body type, they go after a brand, style and design just to be in step with the hottest trend in fashion. These are some basic guide lines to help you in choosing the best handbag for you:

     

    Select the right size of handbag

    Knowing the right size of a handbag for your body type should be the first thing to consider before buying it. This will help you find the most appropriate handbag that would look best for you.

     

    Pick out the suitable shape of handbag

    Choosing the best shape of handbag for your figure is another preference before purchasing it. Always bear in mind that carrying a handbag that is proportioned with your body shape is the best way to look stylish and fashionable because it really helps to change and enhance your overall look.

     

    Choose colour that complements most of your outfit

    After you have selected the right size and shape of a handbag that best suits you, it’s now time to choose for its colour. Matching up the colour of the handbag to your outfit and shoes is an ideal way to have a fashionable style

     

    Set off handbag according to occasion

    It’s really important that you know what will be the purpose of a handbag. To be practical, you must put some considerations on its functions because every occasion, place and season calls for different styles and designs of handbags. Just be sure that your chosen handbag complements a specific place or occasion and there’s no doubt that you’ll achieve the stylish outfit you most desire.

     

  • Kalakuta  Republic: Four decades  after

    Kalakuta Republic: Four decades after

    THERE is not a stir, not even a faint rustle in the confines of the crypt in Kalakuta Republic, at 14, Gbemisola Street, Ikeja, Lagos. The final resting place of Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, Afro-beat legend, remains undisturbed as the world celebrates the renowned music genius. Perhaps, he lived in hope of becoming an everlasting memory; as the world retires from the 16th annual Felabration festival, a six-day celebration of his life and works, Anikulapo-Kuti looms large in the consciousness of music fans worldwide. It’s almost eternal, like the commemoration of a demi-god.

    How important was Anikulapo-Kuti? The question beggars a surfeit of answers although it is best served by how the world took the news of his death: the streets overflowed with tears and indignation of his loyal fans with death. And for seven hours, his funeral procession meandered through Ikeja, the working-class district of Nigeria’s Lagos metropolis, the hub of Anikulapo-Kuti’s music empire.

    Usually, the journey would take half an hour, but on August 12, 1997, 10 days after his death, about one million people, comprising Nigerians and foreigners, thronged the streets of Lagos to bid the man fondly called Fela or Abami Eda (supernatural being), a teary bye.

    During this solemn procession, one of the vehicles in the motorcade, an open truck, let out the late artiste’s classics in chunky aural waves. The music was live, from a band playing on the moving vehicle throughout the journey. Today, the music is still live and strident enough to sustain the attention of his loyal fans while earning him the respect of even his most virulent critics.

    In death, Fela lives. Famous for his copious use of marijuana, his fascination with women and proclivity for appearing in briefs, Fela was, and is still, many things to many people: an icon, activist, a philanthropist and risqué reverend to whom music served as a tool of evangelism and a fount of inspiration.

    Fela was a thorn in the flesh of the ruling class; outspoken, tough and uncompromising in his denunciation of the sleaze, larceny, violence and hypocrisy emblematic of the Nigerian government since the country’s independence from her British colonialists.

    Born Fela Ransome-Kuti in 1938, he changed his name to Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, which in his native Yoruba language means, “One who radiates eminence, has control over death, and can’t be slain by a mortal.”

    Oludotun Ransome-Kuti, his father, was a preacher. The latter was also a teacher who headed the local grammar school and was once bayoneted by a soldier for defying the British Flag. Funmilayo, his mother, was also a teacher, though more influential as a political activist. In a country where women weren’t encouraged to speak their mind, Fela’s mother was more influential than most men, once dining with Mao Tse-tung a.k.a Chairman Mao, the late Chinese emperor.

    Anikulapo-Kuti, a native of Abeokuta, Ogun State, grew up in a middle-class family on the watch of parents who were strict disciplinarians.

    His mother, Funmilayo, was a feminist active in the anti-colonial movement and his father, Oludotun, was the first president of the Nigerian Union of Teachers (NUT).

    Later, Fela, the third of four children, would claim that he received about 3,000 strokes from his parents. His mother, Funmilayo, was a huge influence on his life as she became active politically in the 1940s, being the first voice to speak out for women’s rights (mobilising at one point 50, 000 women to speak out against unfair tax laws) earning them the right to vote and herself, the Lenin Peace prize in the early 60s.

     

    The making of Abami Eda

    It was not until 1954 that Fela’s music legacy began when he met Jimoh Kombi Braimah (JK for short) who would become a lifelong friend, and who at the time was the lead singer for a local band in Lagos called The Cool Cats. This would lead to Braimah forming a band with Fela, playing High Life and Jazz around Lagos, until the two left for London, United Kingdom (UK).

    Fela’s parents had sent him to the UK in 1958 to study Medicine but he decided to enrol at Trinity College to study music. JK followed soon thereafter to study law at North Western Polytechnic. JK failed to secure admission into the polytechnic and instead, decided to form a band with Fela – The Koola Lobitos.

    The group would play their high-life music (much of it composed by Fela.) for fellow Nigerian students at student dances, and the like. This soon became a little more profitable when they began to infiltrate and play in the many Jazz clubs around London.

    In 1961, Fela met and married his first wife, Remilekun Taylor, the daughter of a Nigerian father and Black American mother, born on the outskirts of London during the Second World War. Taylor bore him three kids, Femi, Yeni and Sola and in 1963, she accompanied him back to Nigeria where Fela invented Afro-Beat.

    Afro beat was his response to competition; Geraldo Pino, a Sierra Leonean who was taking Nigeria by storm. Pino was playing the music of James Brown and other American Soul artists thereby robbing Fela of his audience, forcing him to change his style before he became totally irrelevant. The local press was wooed by Fela and he called a conference where he announced that he was changing to “Afro Beat.”

    Soon, he started a club called the Afro-Spot, gaining a little prestige, but not enough to conquer the more established Pino a.k.a ­ Nigeria’s James Brown.

    At that period, the atrocities being perpetrated during the nation’s civil war wrought far-reaching impression on Fela making him question his patriotism, but paradoxically, it would not be until he left for America on impulse that he would discover his politics.

    After a few fruitless months with his band in New York, with no record company interest and expired visas, it was decided that a move to Los Angeles (L.A.) might yield better results. It was there that he met Sandra Isidore, a native of L.A., who changed his fortune forever.

    As lover, friend and colleague, Isidore, a brainy woman and an impassioned black rights activist, enlightened Fela in ways he had never been. She earned his respect almost effortlessly. A black woman who had been sent to prison for her beliefs fitted perfectly into the new world Fela was sojourning. She would also change his life by making him read The autobiography of Malcolm X.

    Instantaneously, Fela decided to revise his music philosophy, ditching much of the highlife and jazz. He infused more hard funk and African chant and thus gave Afro beat a deserving rebirth. Afro Beat was finally real.

    Fela introduced his new sound to some clubs around L.A. and it was often received with slack-jawed amazement as something deep, powerful and infectious.

     

    Enter Kalakuta Republic

    With heightened purpose, a unique energy and sound, Fela returned to Lagos where he changed the name of his band to Africa 70, and began to make hits. He founded The Afrika Shrine, a new club, and started his own commune that would later become the Kalakuta Republic.

    Located at 14, Agege Motor Road, Idi-Oro, Mushin, Lagos, Kalakuta Republic became a home for many connected to the band and otherwise. It had a free health clinic and recording facility and Abami Eda later declared it independent of the Nigerian state.

    Fela needed a term to describe the thought process of living in a post-colonial mentality, and that’s what the republic was about. “It was when I was in a police cell at the C.I.D. (Central Intelligence Division) headquarters in Lagos; the cell I was in was named ‘The Kalakuta Republic’ by the prisoners. I found out when I went to East Africa that Kalakuta is a Swahili word that means ‘rascal.’ So, if rascality is going to get us what we want, we will use it because we are dealing with corrupt people, we have to be rascally with them,” he explained.

    Inside Fela’s republic, recordings continued, and the music became more politically motivated. Consequently, his music became very popular among the Nigerian public and Africans in general. As a result, he decided to sing in Pidgin English so that his music could be enjoyed by every African.

    However, as popular as Fela’s music had become in Nigeria and elsewhere, it was also very unpopular with the ruling government. Little wonder raids on Kalakuta Republic were frequent. In 1974, the police reportedly, arrived at Fela’s domain with a search warrant and a cannabis joint, which they had intended to plant on him.

    Wizened and full of theatrics, Fela claimed to the officer holding the contraband, that he could not see it. He held to his claim until the joint was in his face. At that point, he snatched it and swallowed it. In response, the police took him into custody and waited to examine his faeces in order to secure evidence to prosecute him but his cell mates would wake him in the middle of the night to use the communal pail -leaving the bumbling police to wonder how their prisoner could go for so long without defecating.

    Another version of the story maintained that Fela enlisted the help of his prison mates who supplied him with excreta which of course, was devoid of cannabis traces. Due to lack of evidence to press charges, Fela was freed. He then recounted his ordeal in Expensive Shit, a listeners’ delight.

     

    How his neighbours described him…

    Benjamin Adegeye, 72, was Fela’s neighbour at the period. According to him, it was interesting to observe goings on at the republic. “Many parents were concerned about the negative messages their wards could be getting. There were incessant complaints about activities and noise at Kalakuta. If anything went wrong in the vicinity, we blamed it on Fela and his boys although many of us secretly admired him and appreciated his music. Some even snuck to his shrine after badmouthing it in public. Kalakuta Republic was an attraction hardly anyone could ignore. Even if you don’t venture in to party and smoke marijuana, you would still find a vantage point to watch happenings inside and around the place,” revealed Adegeye.

    Rasheed and Mulkat Balogun, 58 and 53 respectively, recalled with nostalgia, days they hung around Kalakuta Republic on their way to school. The couple who spent a great part of their childhood in Mushin disclosed that oftentimes, they stopped to watch, mouth agape, activities at the place.

    “There was always something interesting happening at the place. It’s either a parent comes around to drag her daughter out of the place by the ear or a father comes to flog his sons for stopping over at the place while running errands for him. Once, a very pretty friend of mine absconded from home.

    “After we had assisted her parents in searching for her for months, we sighted her at Kalakuta Republic. When we went with her parents and the police to get her, she refused to follow us and started calling us names. She blamed us for snitching on her. She never followed us. She is late now,” said Mulkat.

    Madam Beulah Lasisi, a 67-year-old grocer and resident of the area said: “Even though many people complained, many people still loved Fela. He said all those things everyone wanted to say and made sure the government heard them. Unlike other artistes, he sang and fought for the masses and he really entertained us while doing so. No parent should say he messed up their kids’ lives. That’s just a lie to cover up their failures. Fela wasn’t a bad person and Kalakuta didn’t destroy anyone I knew. I only know that it was destroyed.”

     

    Death of the republic

    Indeed, it was only a matter of time before Kalakuta Republic got destroyed. It happened in 1977 after Fela and the Afrika ’70 released the hit album, Zombie, a scathing attack on Nigerian soldiers.

    Fela employed derisive allegory to describe the schemes of the Nigerian military. Expectedly, Zombie became a chart stopper and smash hit with the people. On the other hand, it incurred government’s wrath hence instigating a brutal assault on the Kalakuta Republic on February 18, 1977. A thousand armed soldiers invaded Fela’s commune and destroyed it.

    Fela was ruthlessly beaten, and Funmilayo, his elderly mother, was thrown through a window, causing her fatal injuries.

    The Kalakuta Republic was burned, and Fela’s studio, instruments and master tapes were destroyed. Fela claimed that he would have been beaten to death if not for the intervention of a commanding officer.

    Destitute and disillusioned with the nation’s justice system, Fela and the 80 former inhabitants of Kalakuta Republic spent the next few weeks sleeping at Crossroads Hotel as The Afrika Shrine had been destroyed along with his commune, and the offices of Decca Records before leaving for Ghana to promote the album, Zombie, which was also a huge hit with the students in that country. The song mocked Nigerian soldiers as mindless puppets.

    Following several successful concerts, and interactive sessions with many students, Fela and his band were deported from Ghana. Subsequently, they travelled for another successful concert in Berlin, Germany (the results of which can be heard on the live album, V.I.P.).

    However, on his return to the country, Fela attempted to outdo himself in his brand radicalism. In one ceremony, he married every one of his dancers and singers, calling them his “Queens.” He bestowed upon them the name, Anikulapo-Kuti. Later, he was to adopt a rotation system of keeping only 12 simultaneous wives. It was the first anniversary of the burning of the Kalakuta Republic and, according to him, that was the happiest day of his life but as it seemed to be so often in his life, it was to be very short lived.

    Less than two months after, Funmilayo, his mother, died as a direct result of the wounds she sustained during the attack on Kalakuta Republic. The musician’s response was both daring and poetic.

    A devastated Fela declared that he intended to deposit his mother’s coffin outside Dodan Barracks – residence of General Olusegun Obasanjo, the incumbent military head of state at the time.

    Despite barricades mounted by an alert military, the coffin was deposited, and the musician and his pallbearers turned around quietly and left. Some music enthusiasts proclaimed that the coffin deposited for Head of State remains Fela’s most powerful and emotionally charged work.

    In the wake of his mother’s death, Fela also wrote, Unknown Soldier, a mockery of the official inquest that claimed Kalakuta Republic was attacked by unknown soldiers. A secondary school, Ransome Kuti Memorial Grammar School, currently occupies the spot the Republic was situated.

     

    Fela’s politics

    He was a fierce supporter of human rights, and many of his songs are direct attacks on dictatorships, specifically the militaristic governments of Nigeria in the 1970s and 1980s. He was also a social commentator, and he criticized his fellow Africans (especially the upper class) for betraying traditional African culture.

    The African culture he believed in also included polygamy and the Kalakuta Republic was formed in part as a polygamist colony.

     

    End of an era

    Although records were recorded and released and concert tour commitments fulfilled, his political silence and seeming complacence instigated speculations of ill-health. Visitors and those closest to him noticed his retreat into himself and a very out of character quietness.

    Fela died at age 59 on August 21, 1997 in Lagos. The announcement was made by his brother, Prof. Olikoye Ransome-Kuti, former Minister of Health. The cause of death was announced as, “Complications arising from AIDS,” though many have since said that they feel that his ill-health was due to the sheer brutality inflicted upon him by the police and military. It was indeed a sad end for the music genius.

     

    Fela, the contrarian

    Fela changed his name to Anikulapo-Kuti rejecting Ransome as a “slave name”; his new title meant “One who holds death in a pouch”. His advocacy of African tradition extended to religion, running contrary to his father’s Christianity, though it’s tempting to see Fela’s “Shrine” as a version of his father’s pulpit. His denunciation of corruption and support for the underclass tied in with his mother’s crusading, though her championship of women’s rights must have been affronted by her son’s sexual politics. On Lady, Fela castigated modern womanhood for thinking itself equal to men, while his infamous 1978 marriage to 27 “wives” mostly his singers and dancers has often been brandished against him. For his part, Fela declared polygamy an African tradition and claimed that by marrying them he was protecting his wives against charges that they were prostitutes. Ever the contrarian, in 1986, he divorced them all, saying that no man should own a woman’s body.

    According to Oke Ogunde, a music critic, Lady is a controversial album released in the mid 1970s. Fela criticised the orientation and appellation, Lady, cherished by a new generation of women. He campaigned for the retaining of the past virtues of African women, including the complete subordination to the male-folk, among others, and against the bleaching of the dark skin by African ladies.

    Despite his passionate views on society, he couldn’t proffer a solution to the crisis facing society in general nor could he see the need to organise the working masses in struggle in order to end their oppression. “This was why he took refuge in mysticism, as he believed that only the intervention of the gods could bring about change,” noted Ogunde.

     

    Fela’s heritage

    According to Femi, Anikulapo-Kuti’s son by Remi – and currently, the acclaimed successor to the late Afro beat maestro- in a recent interview, growing up as Fela’s son was “very hard, very scary. The police, the SSS (State Security Service) were always following us. I was victimised in school, because of who my father was. They would say: (sneering) ‘Ah, your father smokes hemp, he wears underwear.’ I’d say, ‘Your father wears a coat and tie, he’s a slave!’ And we would start punching, and the teacher would come.”

    In a chaotic world burdened with non-stop reformation, many look to music as a means of escaping the problems of the world. Fela did the opposite. His music was borne of humanity and an overriding quest to influence the tide of the tempests tormenting civilisation.

    According to Tony Allen, Fela’s music soulmate, “playing with Fela did not cost me, or hurt my career. Once, after a raid, I was in the police cell for three days, but that was nothing, didn’t matter to me at all. But my cup was full up, to the brim.”Allen said Afro beat is considered radical because of Fela’s combative reputation. “The music sent a message to the world about militancy. No one had ever done anything like that before until Fela. So it is immense,” he said.

    Hardly anyone disputes that Fela was a talented musician. Till date, fellow artistes, his fans and music enthusiasts the world over still unite to pay homage to the late African music genius.

    At the recently concluded Felabration festival, world class performers from Jamaica, Benin Republic, United States of America and Nigeria thrilled the fans to different genres of music at the New Afrika Shrine in Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria.

    Son of the Jamaican legend, Kymani Marley Nigeria’s Weird MC, Femi and Seun, his sons, Dr. Sid, Burna Boy, Chidima, amongst others performed to the delight of the audience. Past performers at the event include international group, Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ Flea, Baaba Maal, Amadou and Mariam, Tony Allen, his professional associate and long time buddy and a host of other distinguished music stars.

    In further celebration of the Afrobeat maestro, ‘FELA!’ a new musical directed and choreographed by Tony Award winner, Bill T. Jones with a book by Jim Lewis, in which audiences are welcomed into the extravagant, decadent and rebellious world of the Afrobeat legend is currently been staged around the world. Using his pioneering music, a blend of jazz, funk, African rhythm and harmonies, FELA! explores Kuti’s controversial life as an artist, a political activist and revolutionary musician. Featuring many of Fela Kuti’s most captivating songs and Bill T. Jones’ imaginative staging, this new show is a provocative hybrid of concert, dance and musical theater.

    Musically, Fela was a true pioneer. Politically, he was a revolutionary. Discontented with the status quo, Fela tried to further an unparalleled state of affairs. So doing, he created his own Utopia, Kalakuta Republic. Thus he sought to perpetuate his desires as an African. He tried to build an autonomous cultural zone, a place that literally, didn’t exist.

    “Kalakuta Republic was essentially a space that reflected his values and needs – something all too rare in the post World War II African political and cultural landscape. It was an artificial place in the midst of an artificial situation. What could be a better metaphor for contemporary Africa?” said Paul Miller of the Project for a new Kalakuta Republic.

    Sometimes, almost every adjective becomes a cliché in describing Anikulapo-Kuti. However, his 77 albums, 27 wives, over 200 court appearances and a string of confrontations with the Nigerian ruling class offer a colourful picture.

    Artistically endowed, cocksure, belligerent and unapologetically blunt, Anikulapo-Kuti was unusual. And he sought to create an unusual social space founded on purely African needs.

    Harassed, beaten, tortured, jailed, Fela sought to divorce himself from the prevailing mass culture characteristic of his motherland to create a new republic with a different story; a gripping yarn founded on melody and culture indigenous to the people who lived there. It’s the stuff dreams are made of.

  • Which authority takes complaint from a wife who is battered by her husband?

    How does one handle a bully husband? Which authority takes complaint from a victim wife? A man so battered his wife this morning I felt like inviting the police. – 08024061242.

     

    Hello! Everyday all over the world, wives are being beaten and battered to death by the same men who are supposed to protect them. Physical abuse is something no woman should put up with. I wonder why the wife is this case has not cried out. It appears the couple who just spoke about lives in your environment. We have all these community meetings not only to ensure that we have adequate security and keep the environment clean. We have them so that we can look after each other and generally being our brothers’ keeper. God forbid, if this man beats his wife to death, the whole community will then have no choice than call the police and arrange a burial for her. At that point, it would be too late.

    If you have a chairman in that community (mine is a close consisting of just about 20 houses yet we have a chairman who ensures the different families are doing fine), arrange to let him and other people (men and women who do not beat their partners) speak with this man. He should be made to know that if he tries to physically abuse her again, it will become a big police issue.

    If on the other hands, the wife is the one who moves the man to the level of uncontrollable anger, older women should have a word with her about how to keep her caustic tongue in check. Weak African men resort to their strength over women when angry while their ‘oyinbo’ brothers fire bullets. Real men are those who silently deal with women who give them problems.

    If you think your community can’t handle this couple, then, you may suggest to the women to seek for help from a of the many women

  • My manhood is so small; my wife doesn’t like making love to me

    Good afternoon. I am 34 years but I can hardly satisfy my wife in bed because I don’t last up to 3 minutes when making love to her and after the first round it takes up to 5 hours to come on again. Also, my penis is small and this is making my wife not wanting to make love with me. I am afraid I am losing her. I need what will enhance my penis and performance without side effect. Thank you for good work and help save my family. Abu, Calabar.

    Dear Abu, pleasuring a woman, especially your wife shouldn’t be such a big deal with or without a big penis. A lot of women make the mistake of thinking that the size really matters when all you need is to know the right position for sex in order to be able to make contact with a woman’s clitoris during sex. While men can easily find pleasure during oral sexual intercourse, several minutes of penetration or even just hard and fast thrusting, the woman has two major areas by which she can experience mind-blowing orgasm and gain sexual satisfaction-the clitoris and the G-spot. Knowing how to gently stroke it during cunnilingus will do the trick to making a woman climax. So the next time she makes you feel inadequate because your male organ is small, prove to her that you know the tips and tricks to giving her an explosive orgasm within a matter of minutes by finding a way to stimulate her clits.

    If however the real issues are quick ejaculation or weak erections, then you can talk to me about the drugs you will need. Cheers!

  • Seven secrets to make your relationship last

    Every long-term relationship has its bumps, and they can pop up at any time. Learn to navigate them smoothly — before they send your relationship into a ditch.

    No matter how long you’ve been together, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn’t always easy, but it is critical. Make your relationship stronger, and the good stuff — fun, sex, trust, affection — will be better than ever.

    1. Be Vocal About Things You Like: Boredom, frustration and everyday irritations can douse the spark between you and your partner — and more of the same certainly won’t feed the flame. Making the good stuff your top priority will. Here’s how to do it:

    First, consider that it takes up to 20 positive statements to outweigh the harm done by one negative one. So compliment your girlfriend on her new shoes, or your boyfriend on his new blue shirt. Thank him for helping around the house. Dial her office for a quick “thinking of you” check-in. Be sure these compliments and thank-yous are heartfelt and specific, and make eye contact when you smile.

    Once you take this approach, you’ll realize that, in addition to knowing how to push your partner’s hot buttons, you know how to push his or her joy buttons too (and we don’t just mean sex). After all, that’s how this whole thing started. It won’t be long before you appreciate that it’s always the right time for small acts of love, like sharing a long kiss before you turn in each night.

    2. Touch Each Other: Human touch aids the release of feel-good endorphins, for giver and receiver. So hold hands when you’re walking, and brush her cheek when you smooch good morning. Revive the ways you touched in the early days — a kiss on the back of the ear, a hand through her hair. Adding more of this kind of touch will help you build a fortress of love. That’s important, because a couple who form a tight unit can weather any storm (and are better able to stave off infidelity).

    How do you build this bond? First, support your partner. Take his or her side whenever possible if trouble arises in the “outside world.”

    Keep their secrets to yourself, even when everyone at work spills theirs. Except in a true emergency, don’t let anything interrupt “us” time. That’s what voice mail and bedroom-door locks are for.

    Make a commitment to spend up to 30 minutes a day chatting with each other about everyday plans, goals and, yes, dreams. This is time to build a friendship. Studies show that being friends pays off over

    time, ensuring a closer, sexier union. And don’t forget to make time for intimacy, even if you must log it in your day planner.

    3. Stop Blaming Your Partner For Everything That’s Wrong: It’s tempting to blame your partner when you feel angry, disappointed, bored, betrayed or stressed out about your relationship. The next step is seeing your mate as the one who must change for the relationship to improve.

    That’s a cop-out. Trying to improve your partner puts him or her on the defensive and casts you in a negative light. The result? Nobody changes. Nobody takes responsibility. Everyone is unhappy. And making your partner the bad guy means ignoring the 90 percent of him or her that’s good.

    The true fix: Change yourself. When you address your own flaws and seek the best in your companion, magic happens. Optimism increases.

    Your partner feels better because he or she feels appreciated, not chastised. And you both feel motivated to change in ways that lead to even more joy.

    4. Improve Your Relationship by Relaxing: The classic advice experts give to singles seeking a perfect match: Be “the one” to attract “the one.” Same goes in a long-term relationship. The happier you feel, the happier your relationship will be, and the easier it will be to manage conflicts. If 15 minutes of morning yoga, a switch to decaf, or a new hobby help you relax, the good feelings can’t help but lead to happier, richer moments together.

    Meanwhile, admit it: You used to fuss over your hair and obsess over the sexiest item to wear to bed. Now, it’s stained sweats and a ratty old T-shirt. Time to spruce up your look. Comb that mane, brush those

    teeth and throw on a new robe. Feeling good about the way you look makes your eyes sparkle. You’re more likely to make eye contact. That sends a spark to your partner. You know what to do next!

    5. Fight Fair: Conflict is a normal, even healthy, part of any relationship. What’s important is how you handle it. In a Florida study of longtime couples, joint problem-solving ability was cited as a key factor for 70 percent of satisfied pairs. With the right tools and attitude, conflict becomes a gateway to deeper intimacy — the chance to be seen and loved for who you truly are, to accept your mate’s adorable, vulnerable real self, and to build a strong union without silently seething.

    First, steer clear of criticism, confrontation and hostility. They’re like gas on a fire. University of California researchers who followed 79 couples for more than a decade found that early divorcers fought long and loud and were always on the attack — or the defensive. Happy couples, on the other hand, avoid verbalizing critical thoughts, keep discussions from escalating, and don’t use absolutes like “never” and “always.”

    If a fight does start, try to change the subject, inject gentle humour, empathize or show your partner extra appreciation. Too late? Call a truce, walk away and cool off for a while.

    6. Pick the Right Time to Argue: Don’t start potentially tough talks if you’re not well rested and well fed. Hunger and fatigue can unleash nasty remarks and dark thoughts. Ban booze for the same reason. Save it for when you’ve achieved detente. That’s worth a toast. Don’t ever try to deal with serious marital issues if you’ve got one eye on something else. Turn off the TV, the phone, the laptop. If you’re distracted or going out the door, pick another time to talk. You can’t resolve conflicts on the fly.

    7. Learn to Listen: The single most powerful step you can take to keep a relationship solid? Speak less and listen more. Blame, insults, criticism and bullying predict a bad end, or at least a living hell.

    When talk turns combative, don’t interrupt, offer a solution or defend yourself too soon.

    When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. So nod, rephrase or provide a soft “um-hum” to show you honour the emotions behind the words. Sometimes, all we really need to do to feel closer to someone is pay closer attention to what it is that they’re saying.

     

    Courtesy: Sarì Harrar and Rita DeMaria

     

  • Renewing your marital relationship (3)

    Dear Reader,

    For the past few weeks, I have showed you how you can renew your marital relationship, by building a strong expectation and intimacy. By the grace of God, this week, I will be discussing a few guidelines on intimacy. My focus will be on Types of Intimacy.

    Intimacy is the closeness of your relationship with your spouse – emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, and in many other ways. Intimacy is not an end, but rather a journey that lasts throughout your marriage.

    Intimacy can have different meanings for men and women. However, all human beings have the basic need to be intimate and close with another person. Women are often portrayed as having the desire for emotional intimacy, while men are portrayed as only having a desire for sexual intimacy. However, intimacy can take many forms, including the following:

    Emotional intimacy

    This is the closeness created through sharing feelings. Here, the couple is able to share personal feelings, to trust one another, and to feel safe and secure with each other. Emotions can be described as strong instinctive feeling.

    Women, generally, understand emotions better than men. The first step to emotional awareness is to pay attention to your feelings, identify them, and think of possible reasons for them. Work on noticing the differences between strong emotions, such as terror and fury, and the differences between more subtle emotions such as anxiety, insecurity and irritation.

    Emotional intimacy can occur, once people know what they are feeling, convey those feelings to each other, and express concern and understanding of their feelings to each other.

    Mental or intellectual intimacy

    Marriage has a cognitive and planning dimension, which includes sharing thoughts about life, making plans together and discussing goals. It also involves a mutual understanding about all the important issues in your marriage. Setting goals together is one of the ways to further intellectual intimacy. For example, you might set goals to improve your intimacy, etc.

    Spiritual intimacy

    Marriage has a spiritual and philosophical dimension that include sharing spiritual and religious attitudes, behaviours, beliefs and life experiences. This involves sharing religious beliefs and observing religious practices together, such as praying and attending church. As you share spiritual experiences, you will become united in your attitudes and goals. Couples become active in a church where they can learn, grow, and serve God along with others.

    Recreational & Social Intimacy

    This is enjoying activities together, like running, golfing, or reading. Watching a TV programme or preparing a meal together can be good ways to build recreational intimacy. Marriage has a social dimension in which the partners enjoy doing things together and spending time together.

    Financial or monetary intimacy

    The fiscal dimension of marriage deals with decisions and actions concerning earning a living and spending money. This comes with discussing and sharing your finances.

    Sexual intimacy

    Husband and wife share their physical love for each other, by sharing their bodies and physically becoming one. This is one of the most important dimensions of healthy marital intimacy. Healthy sexual intimacy includes sexual frequency that both partners are satisfied with, sexual activities both partners enjoy, and an open dialogue about sex. Someone once said, “A major strength for happily married couples is the quality of the sexual relationship”.

    The (Different) Meaning of Physical Affection to Men and Women

    Both men and women share the basic need to be intimate with their wives and husbands. However, what this means from both sexual and emotional standpoints, is somewhat different for men and women. Therefore, typically men and women enter into marriage with different beliefs and expectations about giving and receiving affection. Having a basic understanding of such differences is important, so that misunderstanding, frustrations, and anger can be avoided.

    It’s been said that, typically, men give love and commitment, in order to get physical affection and sex. Women give physical affection and sex, in order to get commitment and love. It might also be said that men typically hunger for sex, while women hunger for romance. Men initially give and receive love to fulfill their physical needs, while women initially give and receive love to fulfill their emotional needs.

    Often, women need to feel loved and nurtured, before they begin to be aroused and develop desire for sexual intimacy. For women, emotional intimacy is at least as important as the act of sexual intercourse.

    Men often need to be sexually aroused, before they can truly feel and express love. It’s through sexual activity that men are emotionally and physically fulfilled. Sexual activity often enables men to become aware of their wives’ need for love and emotional support.

    Unless partners understand such differences (and others) between men and women, it can be difficult or frustrating for them to find a common ground, so that their emotional and physical desires can be fulfilled. Understanding each other’s feelings and expectations regarding intimacy (in all its dimensions) and being intimate, is the key.

    Until you are a born-again child of God, you cannot benefit from what has just been discussed. To be born again entails confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!

    Congratulations! You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel. No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

  • Tips: Ways to better heart health

    Here are ten easy steps to better heart health:

    •Stop smoking – Nourish yourself with a handful of sunflower seeds and a cup of nettle or oat straw infusion daily for 4 to 6 weeks before quitting. Sunflower seeds reduce the body’s craving for nicotine by filling the nicotine receptor sites. The infusions strengthen blood vessels and nerves and cushions the impact of withdrawal.

    •Touch and be touched – Many scientific studies have shown that people who were touched lovingly every day had significantly fewer heart problems than the control group.

    •Eat seaweeds. They have been shown to stabilize blood pressure, regulate levels of triglycerides, phospholipids and cholesterols, they dissolve fatty build-ups in the blood vessels, they can restore cardiac efficiency and prolong the life of the heart muscle, and they encourage a steady heart beat.

    •Eat foods rich in beta- carotenes: they can cut your risk of a stroke by 40 percent. Foods rich in beta-carotenes include carrots, cabbage, winter squash, sweet potatoes, dark leafy greens, apricots, and seaweed.

    •Eat garlic – Study after study has confirmed garlic’s abilities to lower blood pressure, reduce phospholipids and cholesterol, strengthen heart action, increase immune response, reduce platelet clumping and clotting (thus reducing strokes) and stabilize blood sugar levels. Eat garlic raw or lightly cooked, several cloves a day.

    •Eat foods rich in essential fatty acids – Fresh pressed oils of wheat germ or flax seed are especially nourishing.

    •Drink lemon balm tea – It is so strengthening to the heart that there’s an old saying about it: “Those who drink lemon balm tea daily will live forever!” You can also steep a handful of fresh leaves in a glass of white wine for an hour or so and drink it with dinner. Or make lemon balm vinegar to use on your salads.

    •Go for a walk, jump rope, swim, or do leg lifts and arm raises from your bed or wheelchair: however you can do it, do it! Regular exercise is key.

    •Avoid restrictive diets. Frequent dieting, fasting, binging and purging imbalance your electrolyte levels, causing weakening of the heart muscle and damage to the heart.

    10. Eat as much as you want of: whole grains, vegetables, beans, greens, fruits, fish, seeds, and yogurt. Go easy on: nuts, cheese, and milk.

    •Surround yourself with people you love and who love you, make up with your ennemies – having good relationships with other people improve your chances of being well physically and mentally

    •Meditate – it will help you become  more stable emotionally, enhance your ability to empathise with other people, reduce your stress and increase your brain size