The Nation Newspaper

Category: Saturday Magazine

  • Rasaq Akanni Okoya celebrates Sallah in style

    Chief Rasaq Okoya, the patriarch and nexus of the wealthy Okoya dynasty, is one Nigerian who loves to live the moment with utmost delight. Last Tuesday presented another opportunity to see the celebrative mood of the Eleganza boss.

    It was Sallah celebration, but everyone who was present at the Oluwa Ni Sola Estate, Ajah home of the wealthy businessman, would testify that the occasion was more of a carnival. The Aare of Lagos celebrated Sallah with numerous Muslim faithful, friends and families who thronged the expansive estate in droves.

    In a gesture that is fast becoming a yearly routine, he opened the gates of the luxurious estate to people from all walks of life, unlike many other wealthy people who would only mark the day with their family members and close friends and associates.

    The event started with a prayer session led by the Imam of the mosque at Oluwa Ni Sola Praying Ground. After that, Okoya and his wife, Folake, led guests to a reception in his massive living room. The place was opened to the rich as well as the poor. His children and grandchildren were also on hand to celebrate with him.

  • Could it be that I have spirit wife?

    I have approached many ladies for marriage/girlfriend, but no one agreed with me. Ma, could it be that I have spirit wife?

     

    Instead of asking about the possibility of a spirit wife, you should ask why you’re a turn-off to women.  ??Below are some of the reasons some girls gave for turning down a guy, If any of them applies to you, then brother, you’ve got to change:

    Bad hygiene. If a guy always burps when I’m around or cleans his ear/belly button with his car keys, it’s horrible! And Farting. If a guy farts I’m sure that’s when the romance is gone! – Aisha.

    When they don’t speak their mind. In my opinion, the biggest turn off for a guy is when they don’t speak their mind. I hate when my boyfriend always does what I want. He never speaks for himself. He should have the confidence to take control but not too much confidence to try to overpower her. – Helen.

    Cockiness. Cockiness stupidity. That’s a huge turnoffs. It’s good to be confident but not to the point of narcissism. And acting like an idiot is not cute! At all! –Tara.

    Jerk- one who is an unkind, unwilling, close-minded doesn’t hear anybody but himself unless you say you’ll put out for him then turn around cheats on you, apologizes and says all the nice things that you want hear just to get back with you. Forcing you to decide between your pride and self respect for his artificial love and in all, he knows exactly what he’s doing but would never even give a second thought to hurting your feelings. – Lolly.

    Bad breath. Bad breath, yellow teeth, smokes, chews tobacco, drinks, lazy, messy, disrespectful, and thinks there the best thing that ever walked the earth, and oh yeah a spiter. – Omolabake.

    Guys that want your attention all of the time! My last boyfriend would pull me away from my friends just to say like 1 unimportant thing to me! I gave him attention and i liked him a lot but Clingy guys are the worst turn off in the world!!!!! – Dorothy.

    If he’s sexist. If a guy can’t view me as an equal, he’s out of here! If he’s racist, it’s probably just as bad. I can’t stand people who can’t appreciate different cultures. – Nneka.

  • Akeem Shodeinde recuperates

    After a long absence, Akeem Shodeinde is worming his way back to the Lagos social circle. His return from a leave forced on him by health challenges looks more imminent now than ever. Only recently, he was spotted in his black M-Class Mercedes Benz on Admiralty Road, Lekki, and the heavily built Movida Club owner was full of life as he engaged someone by his side in a cheery discussion.

    Shodeinde was struck with diabetes and a kidney-related ailment which took him off the stage for some time. He was even rumoured to have passed on at a time before the now emaciated night club businessman came out to debunk the wicked rumour. His night club, which was the rave before his health challenge, went down because he was not on ground to manage it. He was reported to have sought healing in a hospital outside the shores of Nigeria.

    The man popularly known as the king of night club had a lot controversies trailing him before his sickness. He was engaged in a running battle with Super Eagles skipper, Joseph Yobo, over the management of Insomnia Night Club, which was reportedly bought by Yobo for him to manage. The impasse saw both of them parting ways.

    Now that he is getting his groove back, chances are that he would go back to his club business.

  • Femi Otedola steps up

    Oil magnate, Femi Otedola, has continued to confound those who think that his entrepreneurial exploits are all due to his privileged background as the son of a former governor of Lagos State. A few days ago, the boss of Forte Oil entered into a partnership with MTN in a new service channel tagged VISA 3000 Kiosk Service. The novel business initiative requires the Nigeria’s telecommunication giant to deploy kiosks in over 500 Forte Oil filling stations across the country.

    MTN believes that this arrangement will help to increase the visibility and availability of its products across the country, and this, Celebrity Watch gathered, will translate into fortune in favour of Forte Oil. The choice of Forte Oil by MTN might not be unconnected with the oil company’s status as one of the most progressive firms in the petroleum marketing industry.

  • Takwa Bay residents bemoan curfew four years after MEND’s attack

    Takwa Bay residents bemoan curfew four years after MEND’s attack

    Curfew is for boats not for the people – Police

    Are host communities of oil companies and corporations doomed to live inabject poverty and squalid environment? The question arose following a recent visit to Takwa Bay, a host community of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) and several oil and multinational companies in Lagos State.

    The residents, like their counterparts in the Niger Delta area of the country, live in a shanty environment and have their waters polluted by leakages from oil pipelines owned by the NNPC and other companies in the area. This, it was learnt, has made it impossible for the people to have potable water. They travel on water, which is the only means of transportation in the area to other parts of the state, to buy pure water and bottled water for their consumption.

    The situation is worse for the fishermen, who have had their trade hampered by the pollution of the water. They alleged that they have not been making good catches as they used to do in the past because the fishes have fled the river. He said that the ones they catch always have the smell of fuel oozing from them even after cooking them.

    Apart from the absence or mal-functioning of basic infrastructure like hospitals, their woes have been compounded by the curfew allegedly imposed on the community after MEND attacked a gigantic oil pipeline in the area on July 12, 2009. The curfew remains in place even four years after.

    Ben Boco, the chairman of the community, bemoaned the plight of the residents. He said the community has been living in bondage that seems to have no solution in sight after the attack by MEND.

    He said: “We have been living in total bondage after one of the biggest pipelines was attacked by MEND. There has been a curfew in the area since then but most people in the state are not aware of this. It is not only in Adamawa and other two northern states that the Federal Government imposed curfew. We have been having it here for the past four years. We have not had freedom of movement all these years apart from being deprived of basic infrastructure.

    “ Our population strength now is about 12, 000 but it used to be twice the number before now. The NNPC has the largest depot not only in Nigeria but the whole of Africa here in Takwa Bay. They are even doing new constructions right now, with other big oil companies coming into the community.

    “They have no form of corporate social responsibility in the society. It is a company like Julius Berger that gave us a senior secondary school building not quite long ago. Before then, the present local government chairman, Hon. Arogundade, built a junior secondary school for us. All these happened recently.”

    He also decried the absence of standard hospitals in the community. He said: “We really don’t have hospitals. We have a mini clinic that is being supervised by the local government. The clinic has not been functioning for the past two years. Everybody in the community finds individual solutions to their health challenges. It can, however, be challenging in times of emergencies because of the curfew in the community. We are restricted from going out from 7pm till 6 am. Before now, it was from 6pm to 6am. The little adjustment was done recently. We have cried out to all the security agencies but they have been rebuffing us. They have been denying knowledge of it. So many divisional police officers that have been posted here have always said if it is a Federal Government directive, there should have been document that should have been sent to them to that effect for them to enforce.”

    Another resident, who identified himself as Biodun Samson, claimed that many members of the community have lost their lives in times of emergencies because it takes a long process to get a permit from the security agents to go outside the community after 7pm. “We have lost many members of the community because of the restriction of movement in the community. When there are emergencies, it is always difficult to get permit from the security agents to go outside the community for urgent medical attention. When we eventually get the permit, a good number of the critically ill, are confirmed dead on arrival at hospitals. Most pregnant women make use of traditional birth attendants when they want to give birth. Those who have the means do go outside the community for their delivery. Is that the right medical practice in this age?” he asked rhetorically, adding: “We were not the ones who attacked the pipeline. Why should we be the ones suffering for the crime committed by another people? Before now, the security agents could walk into your compound and begin to harass you. They have stopped that in recent times. We are not saying that there should not be security men in the area but the idea of imposing curfew on the community should be revisited.”

    The curfew, according to Boco, has caused many of the residents, especially those who go to work very early, their jobs. The curfew has depleted the population of the community because it is affecting the resumption time of many people who work outside the community. Many residents have lost their jobs in the process because they could not meet up with time. The curfew makes it impossible for those who resume duties by 6am, for example, meet up with their resumption time. Before now, the boats began to ferry people as early as 4: 30am or 5am so that they could beat traffic and get to their work places on time. But right now, the boats start work around 6am making it impossible for many residents to get to their work places on time. This has cost so many their jobs. Half of the population has left because they have no freedom of movement.”

    He further alleged that the security agents have latched onto the situation to extort money from the residents: “If for any reason you are coming home after 7pm, you will have to bribe the security agents. You may end up paying ten times the amount you are supposed to pay. The security agents have seen our situation as an avenue of making money. Most often, they are the ones who ferry passengers late in the night. They collect N2, 000 for a fare that should not be more than N200,” he alleged.

    Comrade Hope Onos, a member of the community executive committee, told our correspondent that the community has never had power supply from the outset. He said they have been relying on generators to have electricity in the community. Even though they have no petrol station in the area to buy petroleum products, he said it is illegal for them to go outside the community to buy petroleum products to power their generators. He alleged that security agents demand bribe from them before they are allowed to bring fuel into the community.

    He said:“We have never had electricity in this place. We are not even connected to the national grid in the first place. We rely on generators to have light. The NNPC ought to give us a mini depot where we can get fuel to buy instead of going to distant places to buy fuel. When we go out to buy the fuel, we often face serious problems with the security agents. You have to ‘settle’ them before you can be allowed to bring the fuel into the community. They collect N100 for ten litres, N250 for 25 litres and N400 for 50 litres. If you refuse to pay, the security agents will first of all harass you and eventually seize the product.

    “At times, the security agents bring petroleum products into the community and start selling to women who sell in the black market. We eventually buy at exorbitant prices. So most of us prefer to buy from the black market because it appears to be cheaper compared to the expenses you would have to make when you go outside to buy fuel. Besides, it is devoid of harassment from security agents.”

    The absence of potable water, according to Engineer Andy Aneto,is another challenge confronting the community. He said that the wells in the community are polluted by oil substances that make the waters unfit for the people to drink.

    He hinted:“The water is not safe for drinking, so we rely on buying bottled and pure water to drink. It is not even safe to bathe with the water because it has been polluted by oils from the leaking pipes and salt elements that are hash to the body. Some of the NNPC pipes are rusting. If you check through the NNPC pipelines, you will see different leakages here and there. You have the smells of oil and petroleum products all over the area. In fact, it is very messy. It is undermining the water that the people drink because it is not everybody who can afford bottled or pure water. “

    Apart from the problem of having potable water, the fishermen also complained that leakages from the pipelines have been polluting the river, thus scaring fish away from the community. “Our business as fishermen is under serious threat because of the NNPC fuel that pollutes the water. The leakages run into the river most often and kill the fish. We don’t get to see good and sizable fish to kill anymore. The fish are leaving this area because of the pollution, which constitutes a huge threat to their lives. There is a village in this community where their fish will always have the taste of fuel even after they have been cooked. This is hazardous to the health of the people. It is unfortunate that we benefit nothing from them and worse still, we are losing our little source of livelihood to the unhealthy environmental practices,” a fisherman, who gave his name as Okon, stated in emotion-laden voice.

    GoddayEkrakene, a unit chairman of the Maritime Workers Union in the embattled community, expressed concern about the presence of wrecked ships that litter the sea. He feared that hoodlums who, according to him, are using the wrecked ships as hideouts may use the opportunity to unleash worse terror than the MEND attack on the community.

    He said: “Some criminals use those wrecked vessels as hideouts from where they go out to wreak havoc. This, on its own, poses serious security threat to the state and the nation as a whole. We have oil coming out of those vessels causing environmental pollution to the community. They also pose a threat to those who are coming across them. It is unfortunate that the Federal Government is doing nothing about all these. They are supposed to work in conjunction with us because we have the expertise to remove the wrecked ships from that area. When this is done, everybody will see the beauty and splendor of this aquatic sea shore.

    “As maritime workers, we are supposed to have a stake in the projects that are being done here. There are some people who are sidelining us, yet we pay check off dues to the government. Every month, we pay N20, 000 to the government coffers. We also have the sea shores where so many grounded ships are and causing nuisance to the whole environment. They are causing environmental degradation and when you go down to where we call Ikate area, the wrecks that are blocking the sea have made water to be eating into the area. In less than two to three years now, we would begin to see water flowing from the sea to the lagoon.

    “Part of the corporate social responsibilities of the big companies that we have here is to give us light, hospital, water and other social amenities. We want to beg the government to help us tackle all these challenges so that we can have a better living standard.”

    David Bibowei Agi, the chairman of Ijaw community in the area, said: “The abandoned vessels have boys and girls of

  • A man promised to assist me…

    Hello ma, I am 19years still a virgin and a secondary school liver I really want to save lives that is why I want to be a doctor, but my parent said I should atend school of nursing , I want to go to university I know I will make it. There is a man who promise to asist me and will latter mary me, I know he is very intrested in my veginity should i give up advise me.

     

    My response to you is from Genesis 25.That is the story of Jacob and Esau.  If you don’t know that story, let me tell you and if you know it already, let me to retell it: Jacob and Esau were two brothers.  Esau was favored by his father, and Jacob was favored by his mother.  Esau was a great hunter; and Jacob was a quieter person and enjoyed being around the home.  Now, one day Esau had been out hunting all day long, and he came back from hunting absolutely famished.  His brother, Jacob was a very tricky fellow. In fact, the word, Jacob means trickster, cheat or clever. Jacob, who was a very tricky fellow, said to his brother:  “Esau, my brother, I would love to have your inheritance; I would like to have your birthright.”  The older brother, Esau, said, “You’ve got to be crazy, but what do you have to offer?” Jacob said, “Well, Brother Esau, I’ll give you a good bowl of porridge.  I’ll give you some real hot oatmeal right now.”  Esau was very famished; he had been out hunting all day long; his stomach was really growling; he was light headed he was so faint with hunger.  He was also irresponsible, a little bit careless and a little bit impulsive, and so he blurted out, “All right, give me that bowl of oatmeal.”  But Jacob cleverly persisted, “Can I have your birthright?  Can I have your inheritance?”  And the older brother said, “OK, but give me the food.  I am absolutely famished.”  He ate; he woofed it down.  The next morning, the older brother Esau woke up, and he was absolutely sick; he was mortified; he was so ashamed of himself that he had given up his birthright, his heritage for a bowl of…(have a bowl of oatmeal nearby, as a prop if the preacher wants one)…oatmeal.

    So my girl, would you like to lose your birthright over a plate of porridge? I doubt you want that to happen to you. This man doesn’t have to sleep with you before he helps you. If he can’t help, let him go because it is not certain he will marry you after taking your virginity.

    By the way, work on your grammar.

  • See Dubai and Drool

    See Dubai and Drool

    I was excited when I got an invitation to cover a workshop in Dubai in August. It was my first trip ouside the African continent.

    Though I had enjoyed previous trips to Ghana, Gabon and stopovers in Cameroun, Cote d’Ivoire, Togo and Benin Republic, those experiences paled in comparison with the one week I spent in Dubai, the commercial capital of the United Arab Emirates. The workshop was organised to include a bus tour of the city, boat cruise and shopping which all featured after the business of discussing research and mentoring in tertiary education was completed. The participants were top administrators and lecturers from Nigerian universities, polytechnics and colleges of education.

    The flight

    I was surprised to find that the flight was nearly full. The passengers were mostly Nigerian couples travelling with an average of three children for the summer holidays. Flying for six hours was something I was not sure I could endure. However, Etihad Airline made it worth while. I settled comfortably in my 33G seat with a vacant seat by my left and the aisle by my right. I spent most of the flight watching a TV series on the cabin monitor in front of me, pausing only to visit the bathroom and eat the many meals provided by the crew (they fed us almost throughout). Towards the end of the flight, thankfully, I had to chat with five-year old Nnenna who commandeered the seat next to me and forced me into her world of cartoons and video game.

    Desert heat

    The jolt of the desert heat is unmistakable to a first- time visitor. We landed at the Abu Dhabi Airport around 8pm local time. The air conditioning in the plane and airport made me oblivious to the weather until we got outside and were enveloped by the suffocating heat. I could have run back inside if I could. Many times during my stay, I had to run for cover shortly after venturing outside.

    Abu Dhabi, the capital and second largest city of the United Arab Emirates in terms of population and the largest of the seven member emirates of the United Arab Emirates, lies on a T-shaped island jutting into the Persian Gulf from the central western coast. The city has a population of 921,000. It is relatively small compared to Lagos with about 18 million inhabitants.

    Abu Dhabi is home to important financial institutions such as the Abu Dhabi Securities Exchange, the Central Bank of the United Arab Emirates and the corporate headquarters of many companies and numerous multinational corporations. One of the world’s largest producers of oil, Abu Dhabi has actively attempted to diversify its economy in recent years through investments in financial services and tourism.

    We endured about an hour and a half of the heat travelling in a bus limousine from Abu Dhabi to Dubai.

     

    The city

    The bus tour we had gave us a good glimpse of the beautiful city that houses 25 per cent of the world’s cranes, a demonstration of the pace of its development. Dubai is not only beautiful but well organised. And despite the heat, it attracts hundreds of thousands of tourists from all over the world, ranking as the ninth most popular destination. Our tour guide, an Indian, told us that the city is populated by 12 per cent locals and 82 per cent foreigners, mostly visitors. He informed us that Dubai owes its development to an illiterate king, Sheikh Rashid, who got funds from a Kuwaiti King to extend the Dubai Creek from the Arabian Gulf to promote commerce.

    Dubai is divided into two areas: Bur Dubai and Deira Dubai. Bur Dubai is the exclusive home of the Emiratis (UAE citizens). Deira Dubai is downtown and houses most of the skyscrapers and massive shopping malls.

    In Bur Dubai, we visited Jumeirah Road, a 15km long road that houses the most expensive residential buildings, mostly occupied by very rich Emiratis. We visited Islamic Art centre; open beach which is open to the public; Burj Al Arab, the most expensive hotel in the world built on a island; the Atlantis Hotel located in the manmade Palm Jumeirah Island; the Dubai Mall, a huge shopping mall housing hundreds of malls so huge that it takes up to three hours to tour; the Burj Khalifa which is the world’s tallest building at 880metres high and the Dubai Creek which hosts boat cruises every night.

    The Emiratis

    I fell in love with the Emiratis. You hardly find them because we learnt they don’t work. They don’t need to work because they own 40 per cent of every foreign investment, a government policy put in place to ensure they are rich. We met them mostly in the malls, shopping. Though the women were dressed in black burkas, we could tell they were rich. They looked really clean and their children were dressed in the western fashion.

    Deira is the commercial area of Dubai. It hardly sleeps. Here, the buying and selling go from late morning when the Dubai wakes up till the early hours of the next day. It is a melting pot for virtually all nationalities as people come from all over the world to shop there. Most of the trading in Deira is most from traders from Pakistan, India and many other Asian countries.

    In all, visiting Dubai was an interesting experience. It is a city that has an allure that keeps pulling on any visitor for a return.

  • Big wigs honour Bisi Olatilo at daughter’s wedding

    Big wigs honour Bisi Olatilo at daughter’s wedding

    Bisi Olatilo, popular broadcaster and host of TV event programme, Bisi Olatilo Show, has not only made megabucks covering A-list events, the huge turnout at his daughter’s wedding recently also showed that he enjoys tremendous goodwill across all facets of life. Last Saturday, it was the turn of high society to beam their social camera on the broadcaster and his family members as he gave her daughter, Adewunmi Eunice’s hand out in marriage to Ayotunde Samuel Funsho.

    It was a gathering of eminent Nigerians, and the visibly elated multi-linguist master of ceremonies got the Lagos social scene vibrating. Soon after the couple was joined in holy matrimony at Christ Living Spring Apostolic Ministry, Omole, Lagos, guests were treated to a superb reception at 10 Degrees Events Centre, Oregun, Ikeja, Lagos.

    In attendance were big names like Oba Adedotun Gbadebo, Aliko Dangote, Olorunnibe Mamora, Mike Igbinedion, Chidi Anyaegbu, Iyiola Omisore, Tunde Akogun, Sonny Odogwu, Reuben Abati, John Momoh, Victor Umeh, Nike Akande, Moji Dokpesi, Joko Oni, Jubril Ayinla, Mike Inegbese, Abbah Folawiyo and Aremo Olusegun Osoba. Others were Otunba Gbenga Daniel, Chief Rasak Okoya and Sade his wife, Dame Abimbola Fashola, Erelu Abiola Dosunmu, Justice Oguntade, Folorunsho Alakija, Chris Ubah, Mrs. Cordelia Agboti and a host of other prominent Nigerians.

  • How did the wedding ring and gown originate?

    Please ma, how did the wedding ring originate and hasn’t the wedding gown outlived its usefulness since there are hardly pure brides these days? – Uche, Ibadan (08097724479).

     

    The Origin of the Wedding Ring

    Many of the wedding traditions that we follow today date back to centuries past, while others are only a few years old. The exchanging of rings, depending on which explanation you believe, is one of the oldest marital traditions around. One version of the origin of the wedding ring states that, during prehistoric times, the groom would bind the bride’s ankles and wrists with grass, to keep her soul from escaping (some say it was really to keep her from running away!). Once the ceremony was complete, he would remove the rope, and tie it to one of her fingers. This tradition gradually evolved from grass, to rope, to leather, and finally, to a metal band. Another story comes from the ancient Romans, who placed a ring on the third finger, because it was believed to house the “Vena Amoris” or the “Vein of Love,” which ran directly to the heart. They chose the left hand, because the heart was then believed to be on the left side of the chest. These traditions were spread ’round the world, as new lands were discovered; thus, we have the tradition of the wedding band that is still highly recognized today across many religions and cultures.

    As to whether the wedding gown has outlived its usefulness, it depends on the colour we’re talking about here. Somebody who knows has something to say: Since the tradition of wearing a white dress has nothing to do with virginity at all, then yes.

    The white dress was orignally a symbol of weath, since white fabric was expensive and the dress would only be worn once. The wealthier families showed they could spend a large sum of money on a dress for one day that would never be worn again by purchasing a white dress. It wasn’t until a couple of queens wore white dresses, and their photographs widely publicized (both in the late 1800s) that white wedding dresses became widely popular. In fact, even in the century during the Great Depression era, most wedding dresses were not white.

  • Why celebrity marriages DON’T LAST

    Why celebrity marriages DON’T LAST

    IT had all the trappings of a fairytale wedding, the type most little girls dream of – a lovely bride and handsome groom both taking their vows in exotic surroundings that could pass for a Hollywood movie set. Indeed, the beaming couple looked so much in love that guests at the star-studded nuptials between American reality star Kim Kardashian and basketball player Kris Humphries in August 2011 thought they were witnessing a Cinderella-type fairytale, and that the couple would ‘live happily ever after.’ How wrong they were! For just 72 days after that ceremony, Kim filed for divorce, citing ‘irreconcilable differences.’

    While many were shocked at how quickly the union unravelled, it was no surprise to keen observers of celebrity marriages. Over the years, a strange phenomenon has been taking place in celebrity land, whereby unions of movie and music stars, top athletes and others in the limelight hardly last. Indeed, there was the notorious case of a celebrity couple who wedded sometime ago in the U.S and on the way to their honeymoon got into a big fight. At that point, they realised they were not compatible and could not live together and quickly filed for divorce. All this before some of their wedding guests had even got back home from the wedding venue!

    It’s a global issue not restricted to the advanced world alone. In Nigeria, we have had our fair share of celebrity break-ups with all the ‘drama’ and screaming headlines that come with it. So, the question is, why do marriages of most celebrities crash frequently? Some marriage cum relationship counsellors and experts, who spoke to The Nation on the phenomenon, gave various reasons for the breakup of celebrity marriages.

    Columnist Bunmi Sofola attributes it to their hectic jobs and lifestyles. “The job they do could affect their marriages,” she noted, stating: “The man who loves you starts disliking you because of the demands of the job that you do. Your husband, for instance, wants you to be home, but you cannot be at home because you are either on location or doing one story or another. Again, as a man, your wife may want you home, but you can’t be home because you are out there socialising as a celebrity. That is because celebrities are expected and known to be extroverts. At least 90% of them are so, and they are either attending parties or going to bars or clubs. Your wife may not like all that. At the end, even when you have kids, all these factors take their toll and it gets to a point when one of the party says that he or she has had enough, then packs his/her bag and leaves.”

    A marriage counsellor and author, Flora Preye, agrees with this view. She stated: “A major issue is work/career commitments. Actors, for instance, are constantly on the move because of their job. Now, if the husband and wife are both artistes who are always on one location or the other, when will they have time to be together? Regular interactions are a key ingredient for a successful marriage and if it’s lacking, it can cause a crack in the marital ‘wall.”

    She lists other factors responsible for celebrity break-ups as large egos, fan adulation, constant media scrutiny, hectic lifestyles, among others.

    While contending that marriage generally is hard work which requires a lot of effort to work, she noted that it’s doubly difficult for celebrities. “Let me state clearly here that marriage generally is hard work. Ask any old couple who have been married for say 30-50 years and they will tell you it’s not a bed of roses like it’s portrayed in movies and pop culture. Those who are sincere will tell you the truth about marriage. It’s easier to get married than to keep that marriage going. It takes a lot of hard work, involving commitments, compromise, sacrifice and other factors to do that.

    “Now, if marriage is tough for the average person on the street, then imagine what it’s like for celebrities who have other issues to contend with the ones I have stated earlier like ego and media scrutiny.”

    “Why will their marriages not crash when they are building it on themselves and not on the initiator of the institution?” so declared Pastor N. C. Amaefula. To him, marriage had a manual which had to be followed if you want a successful marriage.

    “God is the brain child of marriage and there is nothing any man or woman can do to make marriage succeed except they both go back to God. You cannot give what you don’t have, so being in marriage without knowing God, is fake. It is pretending to give what you do not have in you. And again, most of these celebrities do not live by the precepts, ordinances and rules and regulation that God has given as far as marriage is concerned. There is always a rule. Life is about principles. There are principles as far as marriage is concerned and that is how it can work as far as they want it to work,” he said.

    He compared marriage manual to that of a product, stating: “I tell people regularly, that there is no manufacturer that does not have a manual for the use of his product. And anyone who goes to the market to purchase a product, must use it according to the manufacturer’s specification. You must first of all read the manual and when this is done, definitely, that product will serve the consumer more.”

    In his view, Rev. (Dr) Fubara Sam-Obomanu, a marriage counsellor at TREM, attributes the issue to a lack of understanding of what marriage entails as well as people marrying for frivolous reasons.

    “The reason for all these marriage break-ups is that they don’t understand what marriage is about, they see it as a feather to their cap,” he opined. “They gather people together, go to church and stand before the altar to exchange vows. There’s more to marriage than that. Then, people marry for what they see, the physical appearance and not what’s inside the person. It’s the content that should count.”

    “Many celebrities live a false life,” so said Efe Anaughe, a counsellor. He stated that the pressure to live up to certain standards and give a good impression of themselves contribute to marital splits among them. “I think that celebrity marriages are breaking because they put too much pressure on themselves. Also because of their status they try to live up to the standard of others. They tend to live a life that is not theirs. The pressures of wanting to create or give people the impression of having a sense of perfection, that makes many of these marriages to crumble.

    “That is because, there is so much pretence in such marriages. If only they can learn to be themselves in such marriages. People have to learn how to be themselves. People should not allow the pressure of their work get to them,” he said.

    Sam-Obomanu agrees, stating: “Many celebrities have very high tastes and they keep looking at big things like wealth and a flashy lifestyle. And when a time comes and things are no longer working fine, they walk away from the marriage.”

    One common factor that runs through most celebrity break-ups is the issue of infidelity. Some spouses leave the marriage when they can no longer bear the indiscretions of an unfaithful partner. On this, Preye stated: “There is also infidelity but this is not restricted to celebrities only- it’s a major source of marital discord today. But what makes that of celebrities different is the temptations they face regularly. Because of living their life constantly in the spotlight and their fame, they have more opportunities than the ‘average Joe’ to stray. When musicians, for instance, go on shows, girls throw themselves at them. Even a monk can get tempted with all that is offered. If one partner is constantly unfaithful, it can cause discord in the marriage.”

    “Jealousy can also be a problem in a union between two celebrities,” she added. If one, for instance, has more fame, more success than the other, it can cause problems if the other party does not have the strength of character to cope with his or her partner being constantly in the limelight.

    “It takes a very strong man or woman to endure his wife, for instance, being more famous, getting more attention than them. One celebrity union that has been able to cope in that aspect is that of Omotola Ekeinde and the husband. She’s definitely more famous than he is but he doesn’t seem to mind, preferring to stay in the background while the wife laps up all the attention.

    “Their marriage shows that the union has greater chance of success if one partner is an artiste while the other is in another profession? So there won’t be a struggle to be in the limelight if both partners are in the same career.”

    Sofola supports this view, noting: “For instance, you go to a party, and your wife is better known than you, she is being embraced and kissed here and there, jealousy starts getting into the marriage. It doesn’t even matter if both of you are celebrities.”

    Preventing break-ups, saving homes

    So, can celebrity marriage break-ups be prevented in view of the negative effect of divorce on family life, especially on the children?

    “You ask me how the crash of celebrity marriages can be stopped? I ask you, are you sure celebrities really want to stop their marriages from crashing?” retorts Amaefula, who noted that one cannot stop what he does not want to. Speaking philosophically, he said: “If you are going to a place and you are on the wrong road, what you should do is to retrace your steps. Go back to where you are coming from because using a wrong road, cannot take you to the right destination. So if they desire to stop it, then they have to decide and change.

    “The change has to be everyday, mentally, spiritually, intellectually, physically and otherwise. Some of these female celebrities, when they marry, they want the man to be the woman. They want to marry a man who will be cooking for them in the kitchen, while they sit and read magazines in the sitting room. So they have to change their mentality and embrace Jesus as the author and finisher of marriage. Then things will turn around for them and that is how it can work as far as they want it to work.”

    “It cannot be stopped, it’s a global thing,” noted Sofola, adding: “One minute celebrities are in love, they are happy, it doesn’t really matter how rich they are, because it has nothing to do with money.”

    “My advice for celebrity couples? They need to put God first,” said Sam-Obomanu. “Unless you get God’s manual for marriage, it won’t work. Marriage is a union of two forgivers. From the beginning, you must make up your mind to forgive- you should understand that your husband will step on your toes and you will also step on his. They also need to go for counselling before marriage.

    “Then, besides the vows in church, I believe strongly that people should make individual vows saying ‘For me, I will do everything within my power to make sure this marriage works.”

    “I will not say that I see the end of celebrity marriage crashes. There could be limited marriage crashes if they could only learn to take some steps. Some of the steps are those that I have mentioned above. Celebrities should not put pressure on themselves. They should not kill themselves just to make an impression. Celebrities need to work on their fame and family. I am hoping that it will go a long way to help them in keeping their marriages from collapsing,” Anaughe advised.

    Sofola stressed on the importance of long courtship, stating: “When people are getting married, they should decide on long courtship, for instance, to know if they are compatible and the chemistry is right. But as a celebrity, you are already a public figure. And then the dilemma is there because you do not know whether the person that has approached you likes you because of you, or because of your popularity. Only to discover that the person married the name and not the personality involved. After marriage, they then find out that they are not compatible.”