The Nation Newspaper

Category: Saturday Magazine

  • Must know facts about sex

    Unless you want to get pregnant, and you shouldn’t want this if you are a teen, birth control is a must.

    The only protection against STIs for sexually active people is a barrier method lik2e a condom. This is a safe sex must even if you are using something else for birth control.

    Oral sex is still sex and some STIs, including HIV and AIDS, can be transmitted orally. A barrier method, like a condom or dental dam, must be used for this type of sex as well.

    If your partner is under the age of consent, intoxicated or under the influence of drugs, pressured or threatened in any way, or asks you to stop at any point, you CAN NOT legally engage in sex. Any or all of these scenarios could result in your being charged with rape.

    You can get pregnant or catch an STI the very first time you have sex, even if you use protection. It is always a risk.

    Birth control and STI protection must be used properly to be effective.

  • East-West Road: suffering without end

    A friend of mine who travelled recently on the East-West road came back with nothing but tales of woe. “That road is terrible! That such a vital road is in such bad state is a shame!” she had declared, with a hiss.

    Her experience mirrors that of many other travelers on that road. Last year, a colleague, who was unlucky enough to travel on the road during the flooding that swept through many states in that part of the country, narrowly escaped drowning on the road. She stated that the water level was so high, it nearly reached up to her neck. “Many vehicles were stuck and passengers had to resort to wading through the water while others continued their journey by canoe,” she narrated.

    The East-West road, which links the key oil-producing states of Delta, Rivers and Bayelsa, is of vital economic and social importance in that region. Before the road was constructed sometime in the 80s, travelers to Edo and Delta states had to go through Owerri, Onitsha and on to Asaba, Benin, Warri and other parts of the region. It was a long, tedious journey that could take a whole day but the East-West highway shortened the journey by many hours.

    Indeed, when the road was still in a motorable state, a man could travel from Port-Harcourt to Warri, do his business and return home the same day and still have time to attend to other things. The unfortunate inter-tribal crises between the Itsekiri, Urhobo and Ijaw tribes that erupted in Warri in the late 1990s caused a large number of residents to migrate from the oil city to Port-Harcourt which was deemed safer. Many have not returned till date. What happens is that they work in Port-Harcourt during the week and travel to Warri to visit family and friends at weekends, something made possible by the road.

    From all this, one can see how vital that road is to the region and it’s one highway in the country that should be well-maintained at all times. But that has not been the case. For years, the poor state of the road has been of major concern to motorists. In the past, before the dualisation of the road began, many portions regularly failed. This was attributed by experts to the terrain of the area rather than poor construction or traffic volume. They could be right. The road lies mostly in swampy, water logged terrain especially the portion between Sagbama (in Bayelsa) and Patani (in Delta). Besides, it runs through thick, primordial jungle that looks untouched by man since creation and looks filled with all kinds of wild animals.

    A few years ago, when the newly created Ministry for the Niger-Delta took over the road and began dualising it, many Niger-Deltans and others who ply the road, were happy that their suffering would soon be over. As things turned out, their joy was short lived. Now the road is nearly impassable and making a journey on it is like being on the highway to hell. It’s that bad. And it keeps getting worse yet the government remains indifferent to the plight of the people. As someone pointed out the other day, they don’t care because many top government officials and their cronies don’t travel by road but fly around in helicopters and private jets.

    All we keep hearing is that multi-billion naira contracts have been awarded to contractors to work on the road. Well, from all indications, they must be ghost contractors because nobody seems to see them on site doing any work. I passed that road in December last year and there was no single workman on site. So, what is really going on? That is a question the ministry under the watch of Elder Godsday Orubebe, who incidentally is from the region, need

    to answer.

    Nigerians are tired of bad, unmotorable roads everywhere. Infact, the state of our roads, highways and other infrastructure, has been likened to that of a country just emerging from the ravages of war. We might not have fought any war since 1970 when the civil war ended but not every war involves guns, bombs, scud missiles and other weapons of mass destruction. A different kind of ‘war’ which has claimed the lives of thousands if not millions of the nation’s citizens and impoverished a large majority, is going on in the country. It’s called corruption, which has been declared on the people of this country by its leaders. Corruption has turned our roads to death traps, made our hospitals hostile places, schools that are unsuitable for learning, made millions live in decrepit houses and unhealthy environments and others go to bed hungry, created a vast army of jobless youths who roam the streets daily in search of non-existent jobs with no hope in sight…

    While the civil war ended after six years of hostilities, this present war is one that has no end in sight. Will it ever end so that Nigerians can live well and enjoy their God-given resources without most of it being stolen? Only time will tell…

  • Easter pilgrimage kicks off

    Easter pilgrimage kicks off

    The Deputy Speaker of the House of Representatives, Hon. Emeka Ihedioha, has flagged off the maiden Easter pilgrimage. The event was held at the local wing of the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja.

    The Deputy Speaker commended the leadership of the Nigerian Christian Pilgrims Commission (NCPC) for doing a wonderful job. He urged the Executive Secretary to continue striving for excellence by bringing about innovations in the running of the affairs of the commission.

    Ihedioha, who was the distinguished guest of honour at the event, congratulated the pilgrims from Benue and FCT for making it to the holy land.

    Ihedioha advised the intending pilgrims to be of good conduct and good behaviour while in the Holy land.

    During the inspection tour of the ATLASJET Aircraft, the Air carrier used by NCPC for the Easter pilgrimage exercise, RT. Hon. Ihedioha stated that he had examined the Aircraft and was satisfied by the preparations put in place by NCPC.

    The House Committee Chairman on Foreign Affairs, Hon. Nnenna Ukeje, also commended the NCPC for its giant strides.

    She stated: “We are very impressed; we have pushed them beyond pilgrimage; we have oversighted them well. The NCPC has done well”.

    The Vice Chairman of the Senate Committee on Federal Character and Inter-governmental Affairs, Senator Christopher Babajide Omoworare, stated that the NCPC was able to put a lot of caution in place in the choice of the aircraft that would fly the pilgrims.

    Earlier, the Executive Secretary of the NCPC, Mr. John Kennedy Opara, stated, in his welcome address, that the pilgrimage to Israel is an injunction. His words: “We affirm the promise of our God that many nations, including Nigeria, shall come to Jerusalem and be blessed Zach 8: 22 – 24. He added that David also stated in Psalms that blessed is the man whose heart is on pilgrimage”

    Mr. Opara further affirmed that “NCPC is that bridge between the Christians and the Government to translate these biblical words into concrete reality as far as pilgrimage is concerned”.

    The NCPC boss assured that the Commission had concluded all arrangements for a smooth operation as the Ground Handlers were ready in Israel and the Air carriers are also ready to ensure a smooth airlift of the intending pilgrims.

    He explained that pilgrims could not go to Rome during this exercise because of the recent development in the Vatican which would lead to the election of a new Pope. He assured that once a government is enthroned in Vatican, the commission would resume normal pilgrimage to Rome.

    He averred that it is his hope that God will use the pilgrims as agents of transformation. His words, “I believe that if you go to Israel and become morally and spiritually transformed, you will in turn affect many more people and in less than no distant time, millions will be morally and spiritually transformed and our country will be a better place”.

    The NCPC helmsman who intimated that the commission would be airlifting about 3, 000 pilgrims under the Easter pilgrimage exercise and would round off the operation not later than 28 March, 2013. He further stated that the Commission initiated the biannual pilgrimage exercise last year and would commence family pilgrimage next year.

    In his own remarks at the event, The Chairman of NCPC, The Most Revd. Nicholas .D. Okoh, stressed that his board had often emphasized on spirituality. He described pilgrimage to Israel as a kind of visual aid and religious education where pilgrims would come in physical contact with the Holy sites. He urged them to shun all evil tendencies and come back rejuvenated and transformed.

    The FCT minister of State, Oloye Olajumoke Akinjide was at hand to bid farewell to the FCT Pilgrims.

    Venerable Obioma Onwuzurumba, the Chaplain of Aso Villa Chapel, gave the opening prayers while Rev. Williams Okoye gave the exhortations at the colourful event.

    The Papal Nuncio to Nigeria, Archbishop Augustine kasujja Prayed and blessed the Aircraft. In his prayer; “God bless those who organize this pilgrimage, May this be a moment of new resurrection, God will protect all who travelled in this Aircraft”.Amen

    A total of about 386 pilgrims were airlifted during the first batch of the Easter Christian pilgrimage exercise made up of Benue and FCT pilgrims.

  • Eebi Epe starts today

    Eebi Epe starts today

    The 2013 edition of the Eebi Epe Festival will start today in Epe.

    The traditional ruler of Epe, Oba Kamorudeen Ishola Animashaun, has given the nod for the festival to start. The festival will feature events like the Okosi traditional boat regatta, Iyonfonran traditional festival, Ita Eebi and Oju Alaro Oke Rites Day, Kilajolu masquerade parade, fishing and boat racing competitions and other events.

    Abidev Cconsults Ltd, the consultants to the festival, have confirmed that various sponsors, such as the telecommunication giant, MTN, and Intercontinental Distillers Ltd, are lined up to give the festival the necessary support.”

  • Marriage: A divine origin

    Dear Reader,

    I welcome you to another enlightening edition of Family Forum. I strongly believe that 2013 will be a period of overflowing blessings for you, in Jesus’ name.

    In the course of the month, I shall be considering the theme: Marriage: A Divine Origin. This week, I will be teaching on Marriage, A Divine Institution.

    The coming together of a man and a woman in a holy matrimony, was not born out of a man’s idea, but it has God at its foundation. After God had made Adam and put him in the garden, the Bible records in Genesis 2:18-24: The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him… Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man… The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

    Marriage is not a cultural thing, neither is it a man-made programme; it came directly from the mind of God. Lack of this understanding is the cause of many troubles that many are experiencing in their marriages, today.

    Before you venture into marriage, make sure you commune with God, and let Him choose for you. Do not choose by sight or allow someone to match you with someone that you have not prayed about. It is only God that knows what is in a man, and only He can choose for you aright.

    God is a God of priorities. He set up marriage before coming down to fellowship in the cool of the day. Marital unions invite the presence of God on earth.

    God showed His interest in marriage, by personally fashioning the woman and delivering her to her husband. It is, therefore, untrue to assume that the union of a man and a woman in marriage is man’s idea, or a cultural and traditional affair.

    Therefore, to enjoy God’s best in your marriage, you must make Him the centre of your home. You must be ready to give Him priority place, recognizing Him as the foundation for a successful marriage.

    The problem with many couples is that they push God aside, and yet expect to enjoy divine benefits. They ignore the Word of God, and the Bible says: If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3)

    God is the foundation for success in the home. Marriage and family are the oldest institutions in the world; they must not be toyed with. The right place to begin from, is a personal relationship with God. If you want to start this relationship right now, you can say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.

    Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel.  No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

  • Why not to fall in love at 18 years old

    Falling in love just happens. No one really means it to, but it does. When you are 18 years old, you still have a lot of life ahead of you. There are many reasons why you should not fall in love at such a young age. You may think you are in love, but love is much more than we know about at that age.

    Love involves more than the butterflies in your stomach. It isn’t the feeling of not wanting to be apart from the person for five minutes and it is not the feeling of sitting on the edge of the seat waiting for a phone call. Love is far from those things and you don’t learn about those things until you are older.

    People are consistently learning about what the word love is. When you are 18, it isn’t likely that you have dealt with half of what love means. Love means being there through everything. Loves is the willingness to stick with the person you are with through your disagreements. It means that you will be understanding when they make an error that seems impossible to forgive. Love is about being there when the other person gets so sick they can’t walk. Love is about accepting every part of that person for who they are and what they are. The butterflies in your stomach won’t survive that type of love.

    Long after the butterflies have flown away, you will be left with a different feeling. The feeling will let you know that this person matters to you through anything that is thrown your way. When you fall in love, you can’t just walk away from it because you don’t feel the butterflies anymore.

    When you are 18 years old, you are more selfish. That isn’t meant in a bad way. It simply means that you are more focused on you than you are on other people and their needs. That isn’t love and you have to be able to distinguish between love and that other feeling that only lasts for a fleeting moment.

    You have an entire life in front of you to meet the right person. You will fall in love at some point. Maybe you think that you have already been in love. You may have been disappointed by some of those loves. However, it isn’t likely that you will continue to love your first love in the same way you love the person you actually end up spending your life with.

    The meaning of love changes as you grow older. You become more mature and you know more about what you want. Don’t rush into a relationship that will probably end up fading away in a short time. Go for the relationships that will have long lasting meaning. It is more important to give love than it is to receive it. Giving love means that you have put your whole self into it.

    Don’t fall in love at age 18. You have a long time to worry about such things. There are things for you do to like going to college. There are adventures to enjoy and a life to live. Live your life now and worry about love later on. Love doesn’t go anywhere if it is really love.

  • The contract (2)

    After my boss had talked for a while about the terms of the proposed marriage between us, I remained silent, too stunned to say anything. ‘What kind of bizarre proposal is this?’ I thought, watching him as he continued to eat and drink as if everything was normal.

    But what was normal about a man asking you to marry him yet with so many strange terms attached to it, in a so- called contract? Back in my hotel room later that night, my mind mulled over his words.

    “After our wedding, we’ll live together like a normal couple, except for one thing: there will be no intimacy between us. We will stay in separate bedrooms. Also, we can’t have children. We can always adopt if you care so much about having children, but we can’t have kids of our own.” He paused for a while before continuing. “This arrangement will initially last for seven years. If at the end of that period, you choose to end the marriage, you will be paid a substantial amount of money that will set you up for life. If you choose to stay with me for life, then you will be my sole heir. You will inherit all my money, properties and other assets.” Then looking keenly at me, he added: “Another thing, though we can’t sleep together, that doesn’t mean you can keep lovers outside our marriage. If I find out you are having affairs, I will immediately terminate the contract, throw you out and you will be left with nothing.”

    My initial reaction was to say; “Hell, no! No way will I marry you on those terms!” But as if reading my mind, he quickly stated:

    “I won’t blame you if you run away now and never want to see me again. But, Amanda, think of the bright side of things. If you accept this proposal, you will benefit immensely. All my wealth and resources will be at your disposal. You will live a life of immense luxury beyond your dreams and never lack for anything. Designer clothes, expensive jewelry, holidays anywhere in the world, just name it. All these and more will be yours. I will also take very good care of your family and they will never lack for anything. Think about it…”

    So, that night, I sat for a long time thinking. In all my 28 years on earth, I had heard a lot of strange things but this must be the weirdest of all. What kind of union would that be if the couple involved can’t sleep together, have children and other things that come with marriage? Besides, what kind of man was my boss that he would make such a proposal? Was he in a cult or what? There were tales of some men who join cults or some societies who had to abstain from certain things. Was my boss involved in a cult? Was that the source of his wealth at such a relatively young age?

    And why me? With all the ladies out there, many of whom threw themselves at him, why did he pick me? He couldn’t be in love with me as he said he did not believe in such things. And how did I feel about him? I liked my boss and if circumstances had been different, he was the kind of man I could love and cherish. But he did not want my love. All he needed was a wife in name only. It was as simple as that. Was I ready to commit myself to such a cold-blooded arrangement? How would I cope in a marriage without love and affection from my husband?

    It took me all of two weeks to reach a decision. It was solely made by me as I did not confide in any one including my mother. I knew she would not approve of such a marriage despite all the perks that came with it.

    But watching her one evening at home as she struggled to get up from her bed, to use the bathroom, I knew I had to do something. The sickness had made my mother become lean and weak. The once vibrant woman who was so hardworking and full of life was gone. In its place was a weak, pitiable figure I could barely recognize. It was obvious she needed very good medical care which I could not provide with my wages alone. My beloved mother who had sacrificed so much for me and my younger brother was fading away before my eyes. I couldn’t just watch her die.

    “You’ve made the right decision, Amanda. You will not regret the step you have taken today,” my boss stated when I told him later that week I would marry him.

    “I will take good care of you and ensure you lack nothing,” he assured me. It was closing time and most of the workers had left. We were alone in his office.

    “If you say so, sir,” I stated quietly.

    “Just call me Bennie. We will soon be husband and wife so don’t you think it sounds silly for you to be calling me, sir?” he said in a teasing tone.

    I smiled and called his name for the first time…

     

    Meeting Max

    After our wedding, Bennie kept to his promise about taking care of me. It was like he could not do enough for me. He showered me with all sorts of expensive gifts and ensured I lacked nothing. He also took care of my mother’s health. When the doctors he consulted advised she should be taken abroad for treatment, Bennie made all the arrangements and had her flown to the U.S. My younger brother, Johnnie went with her so she could have a familiar face around her.

    I had to resign from my job after we got married as my husband didn’t want me to continue working.

    “I don’t like the idea of my wife working in the same office with me,” he stated.

    I needed something to do to keep busy as I hated staying idle. So I told him about having a boutique where I could sell top quality clothing items for women. He agreed and gave me the money to start off the project. Everything went well and in a few months, I was the proud owner of a classy boutique and store in a choice part of town. It quickly became popular among the chic, sophisticated ladies in town due to the kinds of goods I stocked. Money rolled in and I couldn’t be happier. Though Bennie provided well for me and gave me lots of money even without my asking, I felt a certain satisfaction in having my own income.

    Life was good and at this stage, I had no regrets about marrying Bennie. Okay, there were certain things lacking in our marriage. There was no romance, passion or sex. But I convinced myself that there was more to life than all that. Afterall, I had gained so much from the union so if not having a love life was the sacrifice I had to make for all the material blessings that had come my way, then so be it. I bet you must be thinking at this stage that I was one cold-hearted woman.

    Don’t get me wrong. As a young, healthy lady, I had normal desires and needs but I was also a pragmatist who liked to face the realities of life. Having struggled so much in life, it would have been stupid of me to give everything up for the sake of love and romance. At this stage, I had convinced myself I could live like a nun as long as my mother was well and alive and I had all the comfort I needed.

    That was what I told myself and things would have continued this way if fate had not intervened in the form of Max. He had come to the store one afternoon. Some of my shop assistants had gone out to eat as it was their break time. I was standing at the shoe section, taking stock of the items there when a voice spoke behind me.

    “Please, could you tell me the colour of shoe that will match this bag?” He held up a brown leather bag. It was an expensive designer one, the type I usually reserved for my well-heeled customers.

    I studied the bag for a minute then glanced at the stack of shoes on the racks.

    Picking up a high-heeled pair in the size he wanted, I gave themr5r5r5r5r5r5r5 to him.

    “I think this will go well with the bag,” I stated.

    He thanked me and left. After he had paid at the cashier, he came over to where I was arranging some clothes on a rack. He thanked me again for helping him make the right choice.

    “It’s a birthday gift for my younger sister. You women can be so fussy over the right colors that match and so on.”

    “I’m sure she will like the gift,” I stated, smiling at him.

    Then he asked:

    “Are you a sales girl here?”

    I looked at him coolly for a while before telling him I owned the place.

    “Is that so? You look rather young to have such a big, classy place like this. Your parents must be rich,” he noted. I laughed at that.

    “Actually, it’s my husband who is rich,” I told him.

    “Husband?” he stated, a look of disappointment in his eyes…

    •To be continued

     

    •Don’t miss the rest of Amanda’s story next Saturday!

    •Send comments/advice to 08023201831(sms only) or psaduwa@yahoo.com

  • Ambassador, ministers support tourism showcase in Accra

    Ambassador, ministers support tourism showcase in Accra

    The 2013 edition of the Ghana-Nigeria Tourism and Culture Showcase has continued to receive some big boost ahead of the event scheduled for April 18 to 19 at the Accra International Conference Centre in Ghana.

    The confirmation by the Nigerian Ambassador to Ghana, Ambassador Oluseyi Onafowokan, as the chief host of the event further adds to the list of very high profile personalities that have so far declared their support for the tourism and culture event.

    Also the Ghanan’s Minister of Culture and Traditional Affairs, Dr Henry Seidu Daana, has expressed the support of the government and people of Ghana for the Ghana-Nigeria Tourism and Culture Showcase 2013 just as Mrs Elizabeth Ofosu-Aggyare, Ghana’s Minister of Tourism and Creative Arts, has given the assurance of her ministry during a courtesy visit by the event organisers.

    The event now in its second edition and credited to be unarguably not just the first privately organized bilateral arts, tourism and culture forum in the West African sub-region, but as the most prestigious, best attended and biggest Private Public Partnership (PPP) collaboration for arts, tourism and culture in the sub-region.It is geared towards promoting Africa’s tourism potential as well as the restoration and sustenance of the people’s cultural heritage.

    Confirming his willingness to play host to the event on behalf of the Federal Government of Nigeria, Ambassador Onafowokan told a delegation of Tribe Media Company, Nigeria and Pan Africa Ghana which paid him a courtesy visit at the Nigerian High Commission that the government was especially committed to the promotion of Nigeria’s diplomatic cultural policy at such a crucial time the nation is marking her centenary.

    The High Commissioner further assured the team led by Bayero Agabi, President of Tribe Media and Ras Caleb Appiah-Levi, President of Pan Africa Ghana, co-organisers of the event, that the Nigerian House in Ghana would gladly host a cocktail in honour of the Nigerian contingent to the event, adding that the bilateral tourism and culture initiative was one that should be sustained given that both countries share so much in common.

    In a related development, Dr Daana also expressed the support of the government and people of Ghana for the showcase. The Minister stated this at his office while playing host to the event organizers recently in Accra. Dr Henry Daana pointed out that the close socio-political and historical tie between both countries was a good basis to annex the cultural values of the two nations for socio-economic development and bilateral growth. Responding, Bayero Agabi told the minister that the organizing team was driven by the need to promote understanding, foster sub-regional integration and economic development using tourism, arts and culture as a tool. Bayero, a seasoned media strategist added that with Africa fast becoming an emerging global market across different spectrum, it was pertinent that westernization is not allowed to sweep away the people’s ethics, norms and ideas which are often expressed via language, fashion, food, music and religious belief around which the conference is centered.

    In another separate visit to the Ghana Minister of Tourism and Creative Arts, the Minister, Hon. Mrs Elizabeth Ofosu-Aggyare commended the collaborative efforts of Tribe Media Company, Nigeria and Pan African Ghana towards the promotion and sustenance of African values through culture and tourism with such a laudable bilateral forum such as the Ghana-Nigeria Tourism and Culture showcase. The recently appointed Minister then assured of her ministry’s full support during the event. On his part, the president of Pan Africa Ghana, Ras Caleb Appiah-Levi briefed the minister that the two-day event will feature a conference with stimulating intellectual discussions, presentation of papers, interaction and exhibition of arts, craft, fashion while the gala/award night will aside other varieties entail a musical concert featuring top Ghanaian and Nigerian artiste with the Theme: One Band, One Stage, One Tribe.

    The team had earlier on been received at the Ghana Tourism Authority by the management of the agency led by the Acting Executive Director, Mrs Abigail Tagoe who recalled that the 2011 edition was quite a memorable one. She promised that her organization will accord the event all necessary logistic support.

    The Ghana-Nigeria Tourism and Culture Showcase 2013 will hold at the Accra Int’l Conference Centre on April 18-19 and is expected to be declared open by His Excellency, John Drammani Mahama, President, Republic of Ghana. Other keynote speakers already confirmed for the event include; His Excellency Amb. Seyi Onafowokan, Nigerian High Commissioner to Ghana, Ogbeni Rauf Adesoji Aregbesola, Governor State of Osun, Hon Dr Henry Seidu Daana, Ghana Minister for Culture and Traditional Affairs, Hon. Mrs Elizabeth Ofosu-Aggyare Ghana Minister of Tourism and Creative Arts, Dr Munzali Dantata, DG, Nigeria Institute for Hospitality and Tourism, Prof. Ablade Glover, a former Uinversity Don at Kwame Nkruma Uni of Science and Tech among others.

  • Oh teen love and sex!

    I was busy checking out some important products for the office last week when this text below came in:

    ‘Good day. I saw your column and I felt I should say something. Gone are the days when 16-year -olds are meant to carry Bibles on their heads. These days, 16-year-olds now think differently and they are very emotional. I was once at that age and it wasn’t easy at all because people like you refused to see that grown part of the young ones. Fine, their priority should be their books; most times it is just that part of them refuses to die especially when they are already in the university. So since you are given the opportunity to talk to those young ones, try to put yourself in their minds and condition, not just as a senior but as a friend because they must have mothers before asking you, so don’t act as a mum.’ -07036561623.

    I called the caller immediately and we chatted for a while. I tried to make her see things from my own perspective. First of all, I wouldn’t put myself in the position of a friend to youths who may go astray when they are not guided correctly. If they consider me their mother, then I must play that part.

    Your friends are people you share all manner of secrets with and they are expected to laugh with you and encourage you, while your mother’s role is to point the dangers out to you.

    Yes, the days are past gone when teenagers knew very little about stolen sex. But we all can see the negative result of too much freedom for youths. The same way we cannot say that because people are taking drugs anyway, so it should be legalized is the same way we cannot say because some youths are toying with love and sex, so it should be tolerated.

    As usual with handling most issues on this page, I went in search of what I always call superior reasoning to see if I may have been too old-fashioned in some of the things I say to our modern youths. I found out that even in more advanced climes, issues of teenage love and sex is still a source of concern. I came back with the pieces below, which would make us see the minds of reasonable people on our subject matter.

    I’m sorry, the questions and answers would be back next week. Have a wonderful weekend as you read through.

    Teen dating: A mom’s guide

    Everything has changed. What you must know and do to protect your child.

    Remember sitting by the phone, waiting for a boy to call and ask for a date? Then waiting for him to come to the house to pick you up? Well, get over it – dating is different now. “Even the concept of dating is outdated,” says Beth-Marie Jelsma, a psychotherapist in Rochester, New York.

    Kids still start pairing off around the same age (between 12 and 14, with more serious relationships usually reserved for the later teen years), and parents still worry about them experimenting with sex. But these days, there’s even more reason for concern. “Kids almost seem to be running the bases backward,” says Marisa Nightingale, of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, referring to the new sexuality. How do you help your child navigate this complicated world? The first step is to understand it.

    Teens go out in groups

    The groups themselves aren’t necessarily a problem-they give teens the opportunity to develop friendships with lots of people, and they take away the strangeness that kids might feel when they’re alone on a date. But peer pressure can be much stronger in a group. If a lot of kids are doing something questionable, the few who feel it’s wrong may have trouble speaking up. That’s where you come in: Be sure to talk to your child often about what your expectations are, whether they concern sex or drinking or relationships. And ask your teen to think about what she would do if she weren’t in a group, says Sabrina Weill, author of The Real Truth About Teens and Sex. “Say to her, ‘If nobody was drinking a beer, would you? If nobody your age was having sex, would you?’”

    Kids have sex in the afternoon

    Teens aren’t pairing off just in the evening; they’re also hanging out together right after school. The hours between 3:00 and 6:00 p.m., when many parents are still at work, are prime time for trouble. Researchers at the RAND Corporation have found that teens are more likely to have sex when there is less after-school supervision. So if your daughter is home when you’re not, show up unexpectedly on occasion or ask a friendly neighbor to check up on her.

    Kids make dates by cell phone

    Chances are you won’t hear the phone ring-and you won’t get to chat (even briefly!) with your kids’ friends when they call. Tami Beck, a mother of two in Shawnee, Kansas, remembers when a boy came to pick up her 15-year-old daughter and called from the driveway.

    “He pulls in and gets on his cell phone and says, ‘I’m here,’” Beck recalls. “I said to my daughter, ‘Tell him he needs to come in. Your parents want to meet him.’” And to make sure their kids end up where they say they’re going to be, some parents insist their kids call home by landline to confirm their whereabouts using caller ID.

    Kids also use their cell phones to spread the news about parties. Beck demands that her daughter turn off her cell at 10:30 on weeknights and at midnight on weekends (before this, calls were coming in as late as 5:00 a.m.!). If you’re concerned about calls your kid is making, another strategy is to use shared minutes on family plans; that way, you can scrutinize the phone bills. (Also, be sure you know the numbers of your child’s friends.)

  • Nigeria assures investors of safety

    Nigeria assures investors of safety

    AMIDST colours and celebration, the 47th edition of the yearly international travel and tourism trade exhibition opened yesterday in Berlin, the capital city of Germany, with over 188 countries and hundreds of exhibitors, representatives of tourism organisations, tourism experts, different stakeholders and investors, in attendance at the fair ground (Messe Berlin) as the over 160, 000 square metres exhibition space was filled to capacity with different tourism destinations and latest products and services in the sector on display.

    Nigeria is one of the leading African countries attending the expo with its colourful stand at the African section of Hall 21 attracting early trade investors and exhibitors. The prevailing question by most of the early callers to the stand yesterday was how safe is Nigeria for investors and the tourists in view of the increasing killings and kidnappings in the northern part of the country.

    The Director General of the Nigerian Tourism Development Corporation (NTDC), Otunba Olusegun Runsewe had a Heruclean task defending the country as he assured them of the safety and security of lives and property across the country, insisting that the Federal Government was atop the present security challenge facing the country.

    According to the DG, ‘‘there is no other country in the world as safe as Nigeria, as the security issue is only limited to a few states in the northern part of the country and the Federal Government is very serious and proactive in handling the situation,‘‘ even as he begged,‘‘Please, come to Nigeria; your investment is safe and your life too is safe. No one will harm any of the visitors and investors as this government is very serious about welcoming genuine investors and visitors to the country.”

    Furthermore, he gave a personal guarantee to the teeming visitors that the NTDC would look after their security and welfare whenever they visit the country.

    Nigeria, he said, is blessed with abundant resources, especially in the area of tourism, and that given the over 160 million population of the country, investors would have nothing to fear as they have readily available market for their products and services. For the visitors, he said they would have new experiences as they feast on the culture and natural beauty of the land besides the growing numbers of sophistical facilities in the hospitality sector.

    Runsewe also used the occasion to invite the visitors to Nigeria’s stand daily, as they would be treated to a lot of interesting and colourful products packaged specially for the expo.

    According to him, the Nigerian Day celebration, which is billed to hold today, is dedicated to celebrating the victory of the national team, the Super Eagles, even as he revealed that it would also be used to appreciate African countries which supported Nigeria during the just-concluded AFCON 2013 in South Africa where Nigeria emerged champions of Africa.

    ITB Berlin is a five day event organised by Messe Berlin for all serious minded tourism countries and related organisations to exhibit their destinations and meet with buyers and sellers of travels as well as the travelling public. The first three days of the expo are restricted to players in the industry while the last two days are opened to the travelling public. The event, which started yesterday with a formal opening ceremony on Tuesday evening would end on Sunday. Indonesia is the partner country for this year’s event.