Category: Weekend Treat

  • Celebs who are married to foreigners

    Kehinde Oluleye

    There is something exotic about people who move beyond their comfort zone while searching for love. Sometimes it is love that travels several miles across rivers, mountains, valleys and even in the desert to find such people. Whatever the case may be, inter-ethnic and mixed marriages have their own flavour that only those who are in can experience.

    This week, we shall be spotlighting such people. We are talking about Nigerian celebrities or newsmakers married to foreigners.

    Kate Henshaw

    Kate Henshaw is one of Nigeria’s most celebrated thespians who have wormed themselves into the hearts of many Nigerians by their good performances. She got married to British ex-husband, Roderick James Nuttal, in 2000, but they broke up in 2011.

     

    Regina Askia-Williams & Rudolph ‘Rudy’ Williams

    US-based ex-model and actress, Regina Askia-Williams, wears many hats. The actress is also a registered nurse (RN) in the US, healthcare, education al activist, television producer, writer and public speaker.

    Regina Askia and Rudy Williams
    Regina Askia and Rudy Williams

    Known as Regina Askia in her days as one of the country’s top models, she got married to American Rudolph ‘Rudy’ Williams after her relocation. They have been together for almost two decades.

     

    Ufuoma Ejenebor & Steven McDermott

    Model-turned-Nollywood Actress, Ufuoma Ejenebor, who hails from Delta State,Nigeria, and Steven got married

    Ufuoma Ejenebor & Steven McDermott
    Ufuoma Ejenebor & Steven McDermott

    in 2010, and are blessed with two adorable children.

     

     

     

     

    Charly Boy & Lady Diane

    Charles Chukwuemeka Oputa, popularly known as Charly Boy, aka Area Fada, may be known for

    Charly-Boy & Lady Diane
    Charly-Boy & Lady Diane

    his controversial  views and bizzare outfits; but not many know that the maverick ente rtainer and activist is married to  an American. They solemnised their marriage last year, after 40 years of being together

     

    Oluchi  & Lucas Orlandi

    Popular Nigerian international super model, Oluchi Orlandi,

    Oluchi & Lucas Orlandi
    Oluchi & Lucas Orlandi

    who  won the M-Net  Face of Africa in 1998, has been married to her equally popular Italian fashion designer husband, Luca Orlandi, since August 2005.They have two sons.

     

     

     

    Uche Jombo & Kenny Rodriguez

    Popularly Nollywood actress, screenwriter and film producer, Uche Jombo, got married to her America-based,

    Uche Jombo & Kenny Rodriguez
    Uche Jombo & Kenny Rodriguez

    Puerto Rican-born husband, Kenny Rodriguez, in a low-key wedding that took place on May 16, 2012 on the shores of Puerto Rico. And they have a son.

     

    Anita Hogan-Mak & Ted Mak

    Anita Hogan, Nigerian actress and former Gulder Ultimate Search contestant and

    Anita Hogan-Mak & Ted Mak
    Anita Hogan-Mak & Ted Mak

    Ted Mark got married 2006 in Ikoyi, Lagos. They are blessed with two children; Sadly, Anita recently lost her Dutch husband to the cold hands of death after a brief illness in August, this year.

     

     

     

    Karen Igho & Jaroslav Rakos

    Nigerian actress, model, media personality and the winner of the 2011 Big brother Africa, Karen Igho, married Czech Republican citizen, Jaroslav Rakos in 2014. They have two kids together.

    Karen Igho & Jaroslav Rakostt
    Karen Igho & Jaroslav Rakostt

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Susan Peters & Koen Croon

    Nollywood actress, model, interior designer and spa owner, Susan Peters, got married to her Dutch fiancé, Koen

    •Susan Peters & Koen Croon
    •Susan Peters & Koen Croon

    Croon in Lagos in October 10, 2015.

     

    Read Also: Famous divorced celebrities yet to remarry

     

    Ik & Sonia Morales

    Ikechukwu Mitchel Ogbonna, professionally known as IK Ogbonna, is a Nigerian film maker, actor and model.

    k Ogbonna & Sonia Morales
    k Ogbonna & Sonia Morales

    Ik Ogbonna got married to a Columbian beauty, Sonia Morales, on June 29, 2015 in Belgrade. They divorced in 2019.They have a child together.

     

     

     

     

    Chioma & Andrew Toplis

    Chioma Elizabeth Toplis , popularly known as Chioma Toplis, is married to UK-born Engr. Andrew Toplis and they

    Chioma & Andrew Toplis
    Chioma & Andrew Toplis

    are blessed with three children together.

     

     

     

     

     

    Ashionye Michelle & Carl Raccah

    Nollywood actress and singer, Ashionye Ugboh-Raccah, got married on August 2009 to an Italian man, Carl

    •Ashionye Michelle Raccah
    •Ashionye Michelle Raccah

    Raccah, and their union is blessed with two children.

  • Woman as breadwinner

    By Vera

    THE basic responsibility of the man is to be the breadwinner of his immediate family. As such, he is expected to take care of the needs of his family members. Often times women do contribute their quota to the upkeep of the home, for instance, helping in settling the children’s school fees, NEPA bills or even buying food stuffs at home. But what happens when the woman earns more than her spouse?

    Tunde Bello, a lecturer, says he would never pray for such a condition; but if it happens, it would inspire him to work harder to meet up as head of the family. As a responsible man whose duty it is to pay the family bills, he will endeavour to make more money than his wife by all legitimate means.

    Phillip, a construction engineer, has this to say. “She should be ready to take up the responsibility of doing some things at home. That does not mean I’m taking advantage of her. This would be based on mutual understanding. If I pick up all the bills at home, what would she be doing with her own money? She should be ready to shoulder some of the responsibilities. As regards being domineering, it depends on the individual. Some women can take advantage of the situation to take over the control their husbands. While some were brought up to respect and honour people, such women, no matter the disparity in their earnings with their husbands’, they will still be submissive”.

    Plus, a pastor says it is trust and understanding that matter. He does not see anything wrong in it because husband and wife are one in the lord. “There is need to support such a woman totally and give her all the encouragement and love she needs. I know and trust my wife very much and the fact that she is picking the bills does not make her arrogant”.

    Reacting, Mrs Oduniyi, a baker, would want the husband to remain the breadwinner, as head of the family. Her prayer is that God should empower him so that he will be able to cater for the family. If it turns out that she’s earning more, she would try and give him all the support he needs.

    “I would not want him to feel inferior. If God gives me the opportunity I would not allow it to affect me in any way I will be a supportive wife”.

    Tope earns more than her husband on monthly basis and she has never allowed it be a source of rancour in the house. On a monthly basis, she hands over her salary to her husband to use as he deems fit.

    “I don’t support the idea of not declaring my income to my spouse in as much as l know that he loves me sincerely and is not having extra marital affairs. I believe his time will come when he would spend so much on me even more than what I am doing for him at the moment”.

    On her part, Mrs Isma, a journalist, says “I believe it does not really change anything. It depends a lot on the couple’s faith, just because I am the breadwinner of my home does not give me the right to be bossy or arrogant. Of course, I know the punishment that awaits me if I do that. So, what matters is the fear of God. These factors will prevent any act of disobedience, even if I pick all the bills at home and he does not appreciate my efforts. Instead of being angry, I’ll leave the matter for God to judge between us”.

    Speaking realistically, Ben, a retired soldier, says: “When my wife becomes the breadwinner, there is nothing I can do. I can only pray that God should continue to bless her. We are expected to help each other.  But if she chooses to grow wings, there are ways to clip those wings”.

    On the other hand, Mr. Mordi, a medical doctor, says he will not be threatened when the wife picks some bills at home. I will even go a step further to counsel her on how to manage her resources.

    According to Emeka, a carpenter,  “it is a pleasure we are a couple; whatever belongs to her is mine too”.

    Mrs. Nduka, an industrialist, believes “I have been married for over three years. Though my husband is a graduate, he has not worked for one day. I know most times he is worried but it doesn’t bother me much. After all, he is my husband, he chose me amongst other women. Though my parents and younger ones frown at it  because I love him dearly, I will go through him for every kobo I spend in my salary. Being breadwinner in my home is just a piece of cake since I can afford it, why not?’

    My comment

    As the fruits of hard work, commitment and enterprise begin to pour in, the pay packets of women these days will swell, and some will definitely earn more than their husbands. Only the discerning woman will be able to turn these financial gains into a blessing for herself and her loved ones.

  • FADAN President Ajila-Ladipo steps out with daughter to present ‘Regalia by Fal’

    TOP society designer Funmi Ajila-Ladipo, the CEO of House of Regalia,is yet again, ready to set the pace in the fashion industry in Nigeria with the launch of her ready-to-wear brand simply called Regalia by Fal.

    Funmi, who also doubles as the President of Fashion Designers Association of Nigeria (FADAN), said she had had an eye on bringing about this revolution in Nigeria, but was waiting for the auspicious time to hit the stores with her collections.

    Funmi, who in recent times became the Ekiti State Ambassador for culture and tourism, has got a companion in the fashion business world as her daughter has also caught the fashion bug.

    Read Also: Between Lai Mohammed and fashion designer daughter

     

    So, come January 12, 2020, mother and daughter will step out to reveal their passion in creative fashion that will eventually up the game for designers in the industry.

    “It’s indeed a great time for Funmi Ajila-Ladipo, as she has chosen to step out when she has succeeded in creating a brand name that has become popular in most high society household,” said a close friend of hers who also owns a top fashion boutique on Awolowo road, Ikoyi.

    According to Ajila-Ladipo’s daughter, the exclusive event will take place at choice event centre known as ‘Amore Gardens’ in Lekki, Lagos.

  • Revenue shortfall is the biggest challenge in the power sector — Niger Delta Power Holding Company MD Ugbo

    One of the major challenges that the nation has been grappling with and has defied solution is erratic power supply. Apart from the problem of corruption, putting square pegs in round holes has been a major bane of the power sub-sector. However, the appointment of Chiedu Ugbo as Managing Director of Niger-Delta Power Holding Company was seen as a welcome development because the Infrastructure Regulation specialist knows the nitty-gritty of Nigeria’s energy ecosystem and architecture like the back of his palms. In this interview with PAUL UKPABIO, Ugbo narrates his journey and how he has been able to brave the challenges to complete about 100 power projects across the country. Excerpts:

    Prior to your appointment in the public service, not very much was known about you. Let’s have a glimpse into your background in the energy industry and what the experience has been, given your private sector background?

    As you well know, I am a lawyer. I was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1991. I had my first degree in Law from the University of Lagos; the same university from which I also had my master’s degree, also in Law. I was in private practice since my call to the bar up until 2015. I worked in a few law firms for many years before I co-founded a law firm, Benchmac & Ince, with a colleague in 2003.

    I started my first electric power work in 1999 with a review of the Lagos Enron Independent Power Project (IPP), which later moved to AES. We acted for NEPA then. After that, we negotiated several other PPAs (Power Purchase Agreement) for IPPs like Ibom Power, Agip (Okpai) and Shell Afam VI (Power Plant in Rivers State),among others.

    There was a law review that eventually allows for the private generation of power. Prior to that time, NEPA (the defunct National Electric Power Authority) was a monopoly across the value chain – all the segments from generation to transmission and distribution were under NEPA.

    By 1998/1999, there was an amendment to the law, which allows the private sector – the independent power producers to come and generate and send to utility – utility then being NEPA.

    So, it was the first of its kind; although you could argue that the private sector had been there because the Nigeria Electricity Supply Company, Jos, has been around since 1929. So, this is the first of its kind where the IPPs will come and generate their own utility.

    The IPP is a known transaction all over the world but they were just coming into Nigeria at the time through the Lagos Enron IPP. I was at George Ikoli & Okagbue at the time. So we acted as advisers to NEPA working with foreign lawyers as well. I was more like the associate doing the work.

    In 2005, I was embedded at the Bureau of Public Enterprises to provide external counsel support under a DFID-funded Senior Legal Support project, which was at the heart of the electric power sector reform and several other reforms. Because I had a head start in the electric power sector, I was a little more involved in the reform.

    As a lawyer, if you want to work in a specialised industry, the best thing to do is to study the industry to understand how things work there.

    That is why they say lawyers are versatile. For instance, I have taken non-law related courses. In 2006, I went to study the basics of electricity in Canada; I was at the Canadian Energy Research Institute where I studied the fundamentals of electricity industry restructuring, which gave me sufficient insights and knowledge of the electricity supply industry.

    That helped when I was embedded at BPE by the UK/DFID. I was there between 2005 and 2009. So, we were dealing with the issues coming out of the reform. Incidentally, the project manager of the power sector reform at the time, Mr. Chudi Ojukwu, is also a lawyer; he came all the way from law school as a lecturer with a strong interest in electric power sector reforms. He did a good job.

    So, right now, one has historical, institutional and of course, professional experience, as well.

    By 2010, there was a renewed interest in privatisation. Then, I had gone back to my practice. In fact, I had gone off to do the port concession of Sierra Leone in Freetown. So when I came back, the then new DG of the BPE, Ms Bolanle Onagoruwa, got me a DFID contract again when they wanted to start the full privatisation.

    But before then, I had joined a consortium to bid for transaction advisory services for the privatisation. So when the consortium won and wanted to start the project, I had to move over to the consortium as part of the privatisation transaction advisory legal team.

    In fact, I coordinated the legal workstream, which was a multi-discipline team consisting of financial and investment advisers, technical advisers and other relevant professionals; but I did this while interfacing with Herbert Smith Freehills (an international law firm in London and other parts of the world).

    We did that all through the time the privatisation exercise lasted. I was also subsequently invited by Nexant of USA to work with them in providing technical support to the BPE under the USAID Fund in the privatisation of Omotosho 1 and Olorunsogo 1 PHCN power plants.

    These two plants were built under a Chinese loan that they needed to convert to equity. So we had to advise on the privatisation with purchase consideration largely paid by debt-to-equity conversion; I worked with Nexant of USA on the transaction, which was very successful and those plants are now run by Pacific Energy.

    The power plants are both in grid commercial operations.

    That done, I was also invited to support the Nigeria Bulk Electricity Trading Plc, otherwise known as NBET still under the USAID Fund.

    The NBET was set up by the Federal Government during the reforms as a credit enhancement measure because as at the time of privatisation, it was clear to everybody that distribution will not be creditworthy but there was also the need to quickly increase generation.

    And if you want to mobilise capital for generation and you don’t have a creditworthy off-taker, lenders will not be able to put their money down. So, NBET was put in the middle so that lenders will see government-backed off-takers that will encourage them to put money into generation.

    So NBET was set up to help mobilise investment in generation. Consequently, NBET signed the power purchase agreements (PPA) with the PHCN successor generation companies (now privatised), they signed PPA with the Omotosho I and Olorunsogo I power companies.

    They also signed a PPA for a new IPP – Azura in Benin. Several solar PPAs were also negotiated presently awaiting completion. I assisted in the processes under the USAID Africa Infrastructure Program and subsequently under the USAID Power Africa Transaction and Reform Program.

    ‘Revenue shortfall is the biggest challenge in the power sector’

    I was there till 2015 when the administration of His Excellency, President Mohammadu Buhari, came in. By October 2015, I was invited to join the Advisory Power Team in the Office of the Vice-President which was set up by Mrs. Damilola Ogunbiyi.

    I was subsequently made a Senior Special Assistant to the President on Power Privatisation. I also doubled as Acting Head of the Advisory Power Team, which I did till June 2016 when I was appointed the Acting Managing Director of the Niger-Delta Power Holding Company Limited. By August 25, 2016, I was appointed the substantive Managing Director. And since then, God has been helping us.

    To the second part of your question, the difference in the environment is just the bureaucracy associated with the public sector.

    The NDPHC was set up as a fast-track company to do electric power projects. It is a private limited liability company to be governed by the rules of company law but it must also bear in mind that it is owned 100% by the governments of the federation: the Federal Government holds 47% of the shares, states holding for themselves and the local governments in their territories hold 53%. So, the money belongs to Nigeria and the shares are held by Nigerian governments.

    Read Also: Senate probes GenCos over unsteady power supply

    What that tells you is that you must balance speed with the process. You are supposed to run very fast but again, you must not ignore the bureaucracy that comes with public service, which is meant for accountability.

    You must go through the processes. You must go through the Bureau of Public Procurement in your procurements; you must get all the necessary approvals for your activities.

    I have to state that the BPP has been supportive and helpful. They understand our processes. They too have to work as Public Service.

    So, we are answerable to the board, made up of bureaucrats and political leaders: six governors, each representing the geo-political zones, and four ministers, including the Attorney-General of the Federation, Minister of Finance, Minister of Power and Minister of Petroleum Resources; and we have His Excellency, the Vice President, that chairs the board.

    The company literally belongs to the National Economic Council – they are the shareholders. The board structure reflects that shareholding with the Vice President as the Chairman.

    The board has been very responsive. In fact, the board sits every month because I have to bring my procurement activities requiring board approvals for their approval in accordance with the procurement rules – the CEO does not have the sole authority to approve every procurement.

    He has a limited threshold beyond which Tenders’ Board approval is required up to a particular limit and, thereafter, the approval of the Company’s Board.

    Remember, our activities involve operation and maintenance of electric power stations, and construction of transmission and distribution stations often involving procurement of expensive equipment which must necessarily go to BPP for “no objection” and the necessary authorities for approvals. With that illustration, you can see that you must always bear in mind that you are in the public sector, even though you want to get things done as fast as a private company would, so, creating that balance is key.

    As a lawyer and someone appointed to effect speedy growth in the company, don’t you think there is a need to relax the law a bit to provide for more freedom in the operations of the company?

    I have no problems with the law as it is. It only makes us more accountable.

    But it slows down the process, having to wait on the board to get certain stuff done…

    Yes, it may look like it slows down the process but we have to be accountable. Don’t forget that enterprise managers are human beings. I won’t support the review of a process that could ultimately be liable to abuse. I can only talk about myself.

    What happens when somebody else with ulterior motives comes on board after my time here? So, let’s flow through the process. Note, however, that our board is not a problem because the board meets frequently.

    Another area that sometimes throws up a challenge is employment. You have to follow federal character. Don’t get me wrong; in every part of the country you can get brilliant minds, but you will need the approval of the Federal Character Commission or waiver, which can take time. It could slow the process sometimes, but you just have to ensure that you carry everybody along, especially in the NDPHC that’s owned by everybody.

    The challenge might come where, for instance, you need a finance person and the qualified person might not come from the state that has the quota.

    State A may have the qualified person but it has used up its quota, while the person who applied from that state with quota may not have the qualification in the vacant field; so, you have to restart the search.

    But then, I always tell my colleagues that the federal character is meant to give everybody a sense of belonging, and it is good to forge that sense of unity too.

    I believe and I have indeed seen that at this stage of our national development, every state in Nigeria has professionals in every field.

    Prior to your appointment, the National Independent Power Project (NIPP) was enmeshed in corruption and it was said to be a conduit through which a huge sum of money was siphoned.

    ]How far has the company gone about recovering the said funds from the contractors that took money without executing the jobs?

    The NDPHC was set up in 2005 as a vehicle to implement the NIPP, a government project. Just like every other organisation where you hear about things that happened in the past but we were not there then.

    I believe the law enforcement agencies are well-equipped to determine if indeed there was a fraud. However, the fact on the ground is that the company has 10 power plants, eight of them already generating power to the grid; two not completed at all. Out of the eight, two are partially complete.

    The company has also implemented the construction of several transmission and distribution projects. So, one cannot rule out the fact that in implementing these projects back then, certain things might have happened that called for the on-going investigations to truly know what happened then.

    I wasn’t there during the period under investigation and until the investigation is concluded, one cannot say in specific terms what led to what, even though a recent newspaper headline linked N1.5 billion to a former NDPHC chief.

    In fact, the report says about N8.3 billion must have been mismanaged or stolen….

    I don’t know. As I said, I was not there at the time. However, I know judging from what I met on the gro und that we have uncompleted projects.

    There was a contractor who had four power plants to construct for the NIPP, none of which was ever completed.

    Ordinarily, it should not have taken more than 36 months to complete. Granted there was a delay during the power probe between 2007 and 2009; if they started in 2010, they were expected to have commissioned the projects by 2013, or at most, 2015.

    What about 2016? But here we are in 2019 and the contractor has not completed anyone of them. They only did two partially.

    You stated that you have 10 power plants, how many of these are in operation?

    We have 10 power generation projects. I mentioned to you that eight are already connected to the grid. Those eight will give you somewhere around 4,000 MW installed capacity.

    Associated with the generation projects are gas transportation infrastructure projects ensuring that gas flows to the station; those ones have also been completed. As at today, we do an average of 700MW out of 4,000MW because of transmission limitations.

    This is how it works with power generation – transmission is what determines the generation. Unlike other products, electricity generated is not what you can store and keep somewhere. You have to generate at about the same time the distribution companies are ready for them.

    If not, the transmission system will collapse. Transmission determines whether we should generate or not. When a certain amount of megawatt is generated, it has to be transmitted. The constraint has to basically do with the transmission lines based on off-take from distribution companies.

    Transmission controls us to generate or not; it will not call you up in the morning to generate or call every one hour to either come down or go up, it is a whole process. The argument is that there is no demand and by that, I mean bulk demand at the distribution end.

    And the argument is impacting on generation companies. So, you can see why I said about the average of 700MW compared to 4,000MW installed capacity

    There is also a gas constraint. We have about 2,000 MW in the western axis from Olorunsogo in Ogun State to Omotosho in Ondo State to Benin to Sapele to Geregu.

    I need about 400mmscf (abbreviation for million standard cubic feet, a common measure for volume of gas) of gas to run them but only have been able to mobilise 100mmscf, which is barely enough to run 400MW out of 2,000MW in the West. But in our power plant in the East, we have excess gas.

    We have full gas for Calabar and Alaoji Power Plants. We have full gas for Gbarain Power Plant. These are the three operational ones in the East. So our transmission constraint is well over our gas constraint; but there is a gas constraint, no doubt.

    So how do you mitigate all these constraints?

    We just signed a 60 mmscf gas agreement with Chevron Nigeria for Olorunshogo Power Plant.

    To mitigate evacuation, we are working directly with distribution companies in our areas to see if we can supply directly to distribution companies and end-users. We have signed a few contracts in that regard.

    But there’s the gas challenge and the evacuation challenge, while the biggest challenge in the industry is the revenue shortfall.

    Picture it this way: we have 4,000MW, we don’t get dispatched; we don’t get more than 700MW daily because there’s no enough evacuation capability due to distribution constraints. Even that 700MW we do, when we put in our invoice, we get paid an average of 25% on a monthly basis because NBET remits exactly the percentage they get from the distribution companies who claim that what NBET charges is way above what they approve for them to collect from customers. That is the tariff shortfall.

    But in addition to that, there is also what they call the market shortfall, which is what distribution companies on their own are not able to meet, so these are the challenges.

    To get around these challenges again, the former Minister of Power, Babatunde Fashola, did what is called ‘Eligible Customer Declaration’ under the Electric Power Sector Reform Act, which allows us to seek high net-worth consumers and supply directly so that we do bilateral contract with them and collect our money. They are not so many but we are doing that to improve our revenue.

    We are also working with distribution companies to mitigate that and to also do end-to-end…like from our power plant to the end-users. We are looking at the arrangement with our power plant in Ogun State.

    We hope to work with the Lagos State government to start with certain areas on how to supply 24/7 electricity end to end where all the issues are cleared; and supply directly, get the payment directly. But we must carry the distribution companies along.

    How do you intend to get to the rural communities?

    One of the ways we have tried to overcome this is through massive investment in transmission. We just commissioned the 2x60MVA transmission sub-station in Ogun State. It is a major transmission sub-station.

    We expanded the Ota transmission station, and we did a new line from Ota to old Abeokuta sub-station. These transmission interventions are done to improve transmission.

    Once Ibadan Disco starts taking, what that means is that there is more energy and more access for Ibadan Distribution Company to serve.

    We are doing similar things all over the country. We are doing Lafia transmission project in Nassarawa – it is a major transmission project.

    We are also working on Ihiala now, also a major transmission project in Anambra State that would have electricity supplied to Nnewi industrial areas, so that all these will ease evacuation bottlenecks, and then we are able to generate more.

    For instance, nothing stops us from generating from Alaoji Power Plant directly to serve Nnewi consumers but the transmission corridor is constrained. However, with Ihiala, that will open up.

    We did a massive one in Ikot Ekpene. So we have transmissions all over the country.

    To answer how to get to the rural area, in a nutshell, we are making investments in the transmission that the distribution companies won’t make, and connecting them to the grid to give room for more people to be served and be able to generate more.

    We are also building several distribution projects and deploying solar home systems. So far, we have deployed 20,000 units to homes.

  • It’s a MIRACLE I’m keeping one wife, I face temptations everyday — Popular Reggae artiste Orits Wiliki

    The long drawn battle for the registration of the Musical Copyright Society Nigeria (MCSN) as a corporate body has finally come to an end with its approval by the relevant government agencies. Popular reggae musician and Chairman of the board for the organisation, Orits Wiliki, says it is time for celebration. The veteran musician throws more light on the goings on in the Nigerian music industry, in this interview with PAUL UKPABIO and also speaks about his lifestyle and those of Nigerian musicians generally.

     

    WHY is MCSN holding an AGM at this time?

    Well, it is mandatory. It is a corporate responsibility. An AGM is where everyone who is a member will be able to come together to give accurate report on what the organisation has been able to do in the past one year. The board will be seated to explain to them what has been done. Where there are suggestions, the members will be able to say. Where there is kudos, they will be able to say, and where there are way forward ideas, they will be able to say. So, it is something that is supposed to be interesting and we are looking forward to it.

    When was the last time you had an AGM?

    That was in the last 12 years. But we had always had our AGM until the Nigerian Copyright Commission decided to come hard on us over approval or no approval issue. You have been in the industry, so you know the issues. We had so many cases in court and we were shut down for many years. It was only two years ago that the government of the day, after listening to our petition, addressed the injustice.

    Also, when we took the matter to the National Assembly, they were shocked by the revelation they got through the interviews and investigations that they did. And they had to instruct or direct the NCC to give us approval with immediate effect, because we had been denied unjustly over the years. Only two years ago, we got that. But even after that, we were still in court for another nine months and we won.

    Basically, this has been the only year that we had to settle down to rebuild the organization, because a lot has happened. A lot of clients have been stolen. A lot of our works has been stolen or used without authorization. We have had to slowly start gathering our wings back and address some of our issues that are addressable. One of the moves is this AGM where we will be able to tell our members how far we have gone with settling down.

    Prior to the shutting down of the organization, how buoyant would you say the MCSN was?

    As at the time we were shut down, we were distributing between N60 million and N70 million annually as royalties to artistes.

    What was your membership base like?

    We had over 3000 members across the country. And our membership is not limited to Nigeria; we have members in other countries of the world. We had a vibrant organization, but even then, it was a hard road to walk. While some commended us, others took us to court. We felt we did not need approval since as owner-assignee, we had no business with NCC’s approval, because under the law, we are guaranteed the freedom to associate, freedom to cooperate. But they said no, section 32 of the copyright law was clear, which they actually brought in as a decree through amendment in 1993, which wasn’t there before. All these were done to check us out of the system, but we told them that they imported the law but it was not even crafted well.

    But now it is clear that one is not sufficient for us all; it becomes discretional. They were capitalising on that section to raid our office, imprison some of our staff. It was indeed a hard road to travel, even at that we were able to collect and distribute, until they eventually shut us down.

    When did MCSN start?

    We started in 1984 and there was no copyright commission then. It was in our presence that copyright council was established and it came in like a regulatory body.

    But, for instance, if a regulatory body comes into the banking system, will it have to shut down all the banks or wouldn’t it be that it will have to set a standard that those in the sector would have to meet and comply with? We were the first to apply because there was no other organization apart from us.

    But little did we know that there was a hidden agenda in place at the copyright commission.

     

    ‘Why I stopped singing’

     

    So what’s the atmosphere like now that you are coming back? How many members do you think are left?

    The good thing is that only few of our members left. So we really have much to thank the members for, because throughout those tough days, membership was intact.

    What can you say about your strength as you are coming back now?

    We are coming back stronger. We are not only going to be collecting money from the users, we will also be educating users to know their value, because the MCSN is filled with professionals who should know their value.

    Who runs the organization? Is it the musicians?

    Under the law, there is no way a musician can be the CEO of MSCN. We strictly hire professionals to run the organization> But the chairman can be a musician. That is why I am the chairman. I sit on the board while professionals run the organisation. That is the proper thing to do.

    How early will you start paying artistes their royalties?

    Yes, we would have started that this year, but a lot of debt had piled up, more so with litigations here and there. There are also issues of salaries. It is not easy coming back after 10 years of not doing business. That is why this AGM is important, because we want to first of all see ourselves again and congratulate ourselves, because in some quarters, they thought that it was not going to happen. We therefore need to meet and thank and rejoice with one another for patience and then foster a way forward where we can maximise what we have now.

    We have our powers now. Just two months after we were licensed, two of our cases that were in the Supreme Court had judgments given in our favour, which furthermore underscored our initial position that as owner’s assignee, we didn’t need approval to operate. I am sure that from next year, distribution will start to take place.

    Ten years down the line, what have you lost personally and what has the body as a whole lost officially?

    What we have lost is not quantifiable. The industry has lost a lot of money. A lot of our members have died. Some died for medical bills that ought to be paid with ease but funds were not just there to meet such health needs. Some died of cancer. Some died because of lack of money to pay for typhoid treatment. Because people couldn’t get money to meet up such needs, people who ought ordinarily to be in wealth but had become so impoverished as not to be able to afford basic medical treatment. It’s a very sad and bitter thing to think about.

    Personally I know how I have suffered, blackmailed. For some time, some stations were not playing my music. They blacklisted me because I carried the battle on my head. So much money lost. I was no longer invited to shows that I used to perform at. The system was bitter that we were at the forefront of the battle. I remember the NTA demonstration that we staged. So, we did a lot to see that we are where we are today. Soon everyone will be enjoying and people will not remember the suffering we went through.

    It’s just like the case of PMAN where I was the vice president to Charley Boy. We were pained that the corporate bodies were treating us with disdain. They were bringing foreign artistes and paying them well and giving us peanuts. So we were the ones that fought so that our works are respected. Today, Nigerian artistes are well paid for these shows and are mostly used instead of foreign artistes. No one remembers that now that people like Eedris Abdulkareem became the black sheep that had to pay a high price for it. Today our youngsters are enjoying it. They don’t even know the story. They don’t know why musicians are well paid now. Today you have a popular studio.

     

    Does that mean you are still rooted in music?

    Yeah sure, I hung my guitar for a while to really see that we fight for this structure. I am still a recording artiste. However, these days, one needs a lot more money to do promos. So most promos that we do are online. Only those who have the big money can do otherwise. It is not easy for an artiste to do the recording and then promote himself the way it is being done now. So with the studio still running, I will be celebrating my 35th anniversary in the music industry come February 22nd, and I will be releasing an album then too. Actually, a lot of my works are sold online. I have my personal website and I have my works on most online shops like itune, youtube and so on. You know it is no more the traditional way of selling CDs on the streets. We have gone beyond that.

    How many songs are on your forthcoming album?

    I have 19 songs on it. And before now, I had 146 songs. So I haven’t done badly. Actually on ground presently, I am about hitting 170 songs.

    You talked about online, the new market place. Artistes are making money online. What is your advice?

    It is a good thing and it is also a bad thing because the level of digital piracy is even worse than where we are coming from. Last week, I signed an MOU with an organization to help manage my works, and in pulling it down, we realised there is someone who has been feeding from my works since 1989, and on the website, he has been collecting royalty for 70 of my songs since 1989. It is now we are pulling them down. So there is high level of digital piracy. My advice is to musicians is to get people who know how to do digital marketing professionally in order to protect their works.

    So are you planning a tour for your upcoming album?

    Definitely yes. If I have the muscles, I will want to sleep on the road playing shows. But two things have gone wrong. Early in the days we had indigenous show promoters who used to sign a deal with a musician and say, for instance, that they will take you to four city tours. Sometimes they used to be sure of how much they would get, so they paid you upfront. Sometimes they did gate sharing of profit sharing.

    We had then companies like Aibtonia, Dan Irabor and some other smaller promoters. It was the beauty of show business. But we do not have them again. And we used to have the international promoters like Benson and Hedges giving musicians opportunities to tour the whole nation and abroad. We were touring all the time, but we don’t have that again. What we have these days are some corporate shows where one or two youngsters are brought up to mime to one or two songs. That is what is happening now. We have to revive outdoor concerts.

    How did music start for you?

    I started out early in life to become a musician. I was just eight years old then, singing in the church choir in Warri, Delta State. My first mentor was my father because he was a good instrumentalist. He used to play the accordion then. When he played and sang, I used to look at him and admire him.

    When I joined the choir, he used to back us up with the accordion when we were home singing. That set my mind towards music. Later in life, two reasons made me to pot for music as a life career. The first is that my father left us early. He wasn’t even 50 when he left. Over the time he was alive, he planted churches and reached out to people through crusades as a Baptist reverend. Since I wasn’t able to do crusades, I decided to use music to reach people.

    Did your mom support you going into music?

    Yes, she did.

    But in those days, music wasn’t lucrative, so how did you intend to survive?

    It wasn’t lucrative but music brought joy and passion, which was more than money.

    Why are you planning to celebrate 35 years on stage?

    It is because a lot has gone by and few people of my generation in music are still around. And even within the few, there are only a handful that still remain tall and I am one of that few. That, to me, calls for celebration. I give God the glory.

    At what point did you take up music professionally?

    I didn’t start out as Orits Wiliki. I started out behind the scene, making other people stars. That is why there is no big star in Nigeria that didn’t pass through me or have a bit of me in his recording, whether as an arranger, a co-producer or as an instrumentalist on his project. I can talk of Ras Kimono, Majek Fashek, Mandators, Chris Mba, Alex O, the list goes on. It was in 1989 that I actually started releasing Orits Wiliki. All that time, I was understudying the rudiments of music. Thank God that I had people like the late Jake Solo; people who actually propelled us as we understudied them musically to know the ethics of music. There was also Tom Leroy, a Jamaican, and Aaron a British professional. In those days, foreigners were here with us in the music industry…

    Yes, they were. Even the foreign music companies, Sony music, Polygram and EMI, all ran away because of piracy issues.

    Orits Wiliki landed on the music scene with an identity. Tell us about that…

    (Laughs) An artiste without an identity is not an artiste! Your image is supposed to speak for you as a musician. When you step into a place, you should be seen differently. If a sports person comes in here, we should be able to notice the difference between him and others. An artiste has to create an image and not necessarily duplicate that of another.

    What was your image?

    You know me by my long hair style, my shorts which I was wearing for many years, and African stuff.

    Now that you have added business to your singing talent, has your fashion taste changed?

    These days, when I’m on stage, I dress simply because I’m also getting older. We leave most of the swag to the younger ones. People don’t expect me to be sagging at my age. So I have created a more matured style which comes with shirt, trouser and a hat, and I play around with that in different ways.

    Do you have any child who has taken after you music-wise?

    Not a direct child. But I have a lot of children, some adopted, who have taken to music but have not started releasing works. When they are ready, this studio will be here for them. I love children. They can never be enough. I love it when I am called Father Abraham, man with many children. But I can’t count the number of my children. It’s un-African.

    But how many wives do you have?

    I have only one wife.

    Now for a Nigerian musician, that’s a miracle. How was your wife able to pin you down to one man one wife status?

    I don’t know too. It’s a miracle. But I think that God has a hand in it too, because I see all those temptations every day. But the good thing is that I married my friend, sister, play mate, mother and every other good thing. So from the beginning, our marriage had overcome 50 per cent of the troubles that couples normally have. So it has been easy for us to stay as one man one wife. We have our fair share of arguments and disagreements, but ours has been a home. You know there are houses and homes. If you have a home, you run there after work. But if you have a house, after work, you go to the bar first and go home later.

    You said they were many temptations, which was the greatest temptation?

    The temptations have been big and small (laughs) but I have always known where to draw the line. I have more female friends than male friends, but I always know where to draw the line. If not, I would have had mistakes. I am not saying I am perfect or holy.

    What is your advice for young and rich musicians on how not to grow a family with baby mamas?

    Our generation of musicians is between the old and the new. We met several older musicians in this industry and we knew the mistakes that they made, having many children and many wives across the country and even outside Nigeria. Some of us were able to learn that it was a problem that they couldn’t handle. So I will ask the younger musicians to also learn from some of us who are at middle age and passed through those things without getting hurt, because if they don’t learn, they are bound to make mistakes. After a father dies, there’s usually a no-love-lost among such children and they start fighting one another over property. That, to me, is not the essence of having children.

  • Don’t listen to him, he’s a devil!

    DEAREST People of God, Please, please, please LET’S PAY ATTENTION TO THE YOUNG GIRLS AROUND US! As indicated above, my public line is a WhatsApp only line but a particular number kept calling and I couldn’t help but pick it. It turned out to be a 15-year-old calling from Edo State that she had no one to confide in and thought to call me to counsel her after reading my newspaper article!

    She went on to tell me how her 38-yr-old neighbour had been telling her God said she’s his wife and has been wooing her with so much pressure. She sounded like she was already brainwashed and falling in love. After telling her to steer clear of him, I told her to report to her parents only for her to tell me her parents live in Benue State. I can’t quite remember her reasons for not living with her parents at the moment but we all know because of the economic hardship and other reasons, too many girls are not living with their parents and neither are they being closely monitored. In fact, an average girl not living with her parents is experiencing some form of abuse or the other! This girl was speaking quite incoherently, sounding exasperated and confused! I bet she lacks self-esteem and needs all the love in the world and that evil man could succeed in diverting the course of her destiny! Who knows if he’s been giving her gifts no one has ever given her or buying her better food than she could ever get from her guardian and telling her she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, promising her heaven and earth? How won’t she fall for him? Then God forbids her getting pregnant-her life suddenly takes a cataclysmic course!

    Believe me, EVERY SINGLE YOUNG GIRL OUT THERE IS UNDER UNDUE PRESSURE AND CONFUSION OCCASIONED BY A DEPRAVED WORLD! YOU MAY BE SHOCKED TO DISCOVER THE GUY THAT’S BEEN HARASSING YOUR YOUNG DAUGHTER!

    Girls…girls…girls, no matter what your youthful exuberance and Zeeworld may make you feel you know about love, IN YOUR TEENS YOU’RE 95%  UNLIKELY TO KNOW WHO YOU SHOULD END UP WITH IN MARRIAGE AS YOU’RE YET TO DISCOVER YOURSELF FULLY! STOP LOOKING FOR TROUBLE! BE PATIENT! BE PATIENT!! BE PATIENT!!! PLEASE! The world is getting crazier by the day and only the fittest can survive! I’ve often said your teens should be spent concentrating on laying a solid foundation for your future, academically, psychologically, spiritually, emotionally and so on! Don’t let any guy scatter your head with love! You’d always lose out! Time has proven that girls who don’t have romantic relationships in their teens usually turn out far better than those who fell under the crush of heavy heart-breaks and strings of boyfriends! The world is highly-competitive and if you don’t prepare well enough when you have all the energy, passion and vivid imagination, you will certainly end up on the lower rung of the ladder of life and get trampled by men! Yes!  Start guarding your future and destiny instead of a foolish and unnecessary love affair and let the world’s most honourable and finest men rush you in future!

    Dear All,

    Every girl is an institution and the bedrock of the future society. We don’t want more street urchins, prostitutes and layabouts. We, our children and grandchildren deserve a saner society in future although these are end times! Please chip in a word from time to time whenever you come across young girls, they need all the counsel they can get in a world where the female folk is victimised! May God send help to your children in Jesus mighty name and may God protect our girls from the stupid, bad devil itself!

    • I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowo Temilolu.
  • CHYNA BEE: Life as Tiwa Savage’s stylist

    Chyna Bee is a celebrity stylist and also Tiwa Savage’s personal hairstylist. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she takes you into her world, working with celebrities, how she got into the Nigerian entertainment industry, travelling around the world, owning a beauty studio in New York and more.

     

    WHAT inspired you to go into hair styling?

    I know this sounds pretty clichéd, but I was born to do hair. This talent was given to me by God.

    Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been fascinated by hair. I remember when my mom would buy me Barbie dolls and I would always look forward to switching up their hairstyles and trying out different looks. It was always so much fun for me.

    I just felt an attraction towards hair and this attraction turned into a deep passion all my life. Not many people can say they are making a living from doing what they are genuinely passionate about.So I’m thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to live the life of my dreams.

    What were you doing before this?

    I’ve always been doing hair. My first time doing hair was actually on my sister. I was about 11 or 12 years old. But professionally, I would say I was 18 years old. Even though at the time, I was still charging really cheap rates. I was still young though, so charging people like 30 or $40 was okay for me.

    Over time, my skills continued to evolve and my client base expanded at a rapid rate and it was so exciting seeing people’s reactions whenever I did their hair.

    At a time when young people my age were still depending solely on their parents for finances, I was already making my own money; even though it wasn’t that much, still it felt empowering. The rest, as they say, is history.

    I had my very own beauty studio in New York.

    I have some of the biggest names in entertainment as my clients now, and I get to travel around the world as a result. And I’m also the founder of CB Beauty Bar which is located in Lekki Phase 1. It is a unisex one-stop location for all hair and beauty needs.

    What was it like at the beginning?

    The beginning of my professional career was a lot of fun because I got to experiment and explore my talents to the fullest.

    A lot of people may not know this, but professionally, I didn’t start out as just a hair stylist.

    I was a fashion stylist and makeup artist in addition to being a hair stylist.

    I got involved in the Nigerian entertainment industry in 2012. In 2012, when EME was doing their UK tour, I started helping them get outfits for their shows because I knew where to get all the stylish clothes.

    During the course of doing that, I then discovered that I had a real knack for wardrobe styling as so many artistes were so impressed with my style and creativity, and they would frequently ask me to do stuffs for them.

    I then started consulting and styling for Nigerian artists while I was still living in New York. Then in 2013, I decided to move to Nigeria, and over time I became a very popular wardrobe stylist. I worked with notable celebrities like Iyanya, Patoranking, Skales, Emma Nyra, Wizkid, Banky W etc.

    However, in 2016, I decided to fully concentrate on my first true love, which is hair styling.

    How did you meet Tiwa Savage?

    I met Tiwa through a referral. Her makeup artist at that time introduced me to her. I used to do her hair back in New York, when she lived in Philly. She used to come all the way to Brooklyn, which is three hours’ drive.

    How long have you been with her?

    The first time I ever worked with her was in 2012. After that, it was on and off because she always used to have her personal stylist. However, for the past four years, working with her has been very constant.

    What inspires her style?

    Lately, we’ve actually been doing a lot more soft braids which make her look really younger and it’s also easier to maintain when she travels. But apart from that, Tiwa is very simple when it comes to her hair. Less is always more. Her favourite hairstyle is the middle part about 20 inches long bone straight or loose waves (my fave too).

    How has working with Tiwa influenced your career?

    One very key way she has influenced my career is that I now have a better understanding about the business of showbiz from her perspective. People only see the glitz and glamour – the finished product. But what many don’t see is the massive amount of work, contract negotiations, strategy and planning that go into what you see as the final output. It’s not for the fainthearted and if you do not have a true passion for it, you can easily burn out and quit.

    I’ve also been positively influenced because my worldview has broadened. Just seeing the big role she is playing in promoting African culture worldwide is phenomenal. Who would have thought that something as seemingly mundane as hair could serve as inspiration for various trends around the world? It’s amazing.

    What do you admire most about her?

    She’s a single mom that works her butt off! She’s a go-getter, and she is always different and stands out from the crowd at all times effortlessly. Her life is a testimony of the fact that if you never give up on your dreams, and stick with whatever passion God puts in your heart, when the time is right, you will reap the rewards.

    Tell us about the other celebrities that you have worked with

     

    I’ve worked with a few celebrities in the past on various shoots and projects, including (but not limited to) Tonto Dikeh, Waje, Omawumi, Minnie Dlamini, Funke Akindele, Niyola, Lillian Esoro, and Dorcas Shola Fapson.

    You are opening you place soon. What makes it different from others?

    The launch was actually on the 24th of November.  It is a very simple, chic and classy spot.

    It’s pretty much a unisex one-stop shop for all your hair and beauty needs, where you can get everything done at the same time at a very affordable price.

    Every employee who works with me has years of vast experience in the beauty space. So you can rest assured that you will receive world class services at reasonable prices.

    It was interesting to see some people’s reactions during the launch. They were genuinely surprised that such a state-of-the-art location in Lekki could be so affordable.

    And that’s our value proposition really: you don’t have to break the bank to look good!

    The facility houses a barbing salon, hair salon (includes a variety of services including custom wig making & styling), nail bar, lash and brow bar and makeup studio.

    What are some of the memorable moments for you in the sector?

    Memories never really get old, because the joy I get alone from each client’s satisfaction can never fade. That makes me happy.

    I remember this one time when after I was done styling a lady’s hair, she actually cried! Yes, real tears of joy.

    She was a new mom and had just been so overwhelmed with her new responsibilities as a mom that she had forgotten to take care of herself.

    She was going on an anniversary date with her hubby and came to me to get her all glammed up. When she saw her hair after I was done, she cried and said I made her look so beautiful. Well, I think she was already beautiful anyway, but I guess the hairstyle enhanced her beauty and restored her confidence.

    What lessons did you learn working with celebrities?

    The most important and key value I have learned is thus: Never devalue your worth!

    What are some of the things that you treasure most in life?

    Loyalty and trust.

    Are there challenges?

    The long hours and frequently changing time zones in different countries. One minute I’m in California, next minute I’m in London and then I’m suddenly in Mombasa. It can take a toll and be quite physically and mentally exhausting.

    But then I wouldn’t trade it for the world! I love my job and I’m so privileged to be doing what I love on a daily basis. It’s a priceless gift.

    What are the other things that occupy your time?

    Well apart from travelling all over the world, my man and my family (they don’t live here, so I can be on Facetime for hours every day.) I love them so much. Talking to them and being with them occupy my time.

    Tell us about the people you admire?

    My mom – my hero!

    Oprah. She is a powerful woman!

    If you had to advise young people, what would you tell them?

    Stay true to yourself.  Don’t sell out to the world, and do not let anyone tell you that your dreams are not valid.

    Practice makes perfect. Keep working on your craft. When preparation meets opportunity, magic happens! Don’t give up; your breakthrough is just around the corner.

    Where do you hope to be in the next few years?

    Married with beautiful kids and opening more beauty studios all over the world!

  • ‘Seeing her body was the hardest thing for us’

    For Ajoke and Des Braithwaite, losing their first daughter exactly five years ago to meningitis was devastating.

    In this encounter with Yetunde Oladeinde, they open up on how she died, coping with the loss, getting into sensitisation and awareness-creation of the disease.

     

    AT 19, Oluwagbotemi Oreoluwa Braithwaite had a lot of dreams. Dreams of finishing at the university with a First Class; dreams of making her parents and siblings proud, excelling in her career path as well as a happy married life with wonderful children.

    Unfortunately, those dreams were cut short five years ago after suffering silently from meningitis and passing away before help could come her way, far away from the loving arms and warmth of her parents.

    Like a storm, the news of her demise hit and shattered them.

    A dream? No, it wasn’t. The tragic loss was real. During the grieving period, they found a calling sensitising and counselling others about meningitis and how to save teenagers by initiating a foundation called Boom4 Gain.

    Her mother,  Ajoke Braitewaite, daughter of the Parakoyi of Ibadan land, Bode Akindele, recalls Temi’s (as she is fondly called ) last days and how they received the sad news.

    “Temi was little mummy in the house. She knew everything that I wanted and she did everything I wanted. She was a child that never wanted me upset. Once I get home, the house is always in place. Instead of saying ‘you do it’, she would always do it. She was my little right hand girl.”

    Ajoke continued: “She was always working so hard to excel. Then, she said she had an assignment because she wanted to get a first class. She was always super and excellent in whatever she did. So, when I am praying, I would say ‘God thank you for Temi, God bless her.’ Everything about her was ordered. She doesn’t get into fights, instead she would just withdraw into a corner and sulk. But she would always assert her right as little mummy.”

    To buttress her point, Ajoke remembers when Temi’s grand uncle visited them in London: “His memory of her was how she used to use a small bench to stand to wash the plates. I used to make them do chores. She was also very time-conscious. My son was the older one and so we would wake him fifteen minutes early. She would wake up, bath her two-year old brother and get them ready while I was preparing their breakfast.”

    On his part, her father, Des Braithwaite, has this to say about his beloved daughter: “ Temi was a great organiser. Whenever we wanted to travel on holiday or even travel domestic like go from one person’s school to the other, Temi would do the navigation with the maps. Then we didn’t have the phones, we have now. So, she was way beyond her age.

    “I was not around, I was the third person to receive the news. They were in London and it was quite a rude shock, you know the way they do things there. A police officer knocked on the door at about 7 O’clock at night to inform them about the death of Temi and my daughter Funke called me and all I remember was that she was screaming on phone. I didn’t even decipher initially what she was saying but in between the screaming, I heard ‘Temi is dead’. I just put the phone down and it was quite an unrealistic shock. When you hear things like that you don’t believe it and your mind refuses to process the reality of the situation.”

    Now you want to know if there was a premonition about her death and her mother responds this way:  “A week before, she called and said she wasn’t feeling well. She had flu-like symptoms, which is not unlike their age. Also, she fell and sprained her wrist but we didn’t think anything about it. On Sunday before, there was a picture taken by a parent with her housemates and she was okay.”

    That Sunday, Mrs Braithwaite went to see her son in England and by the time she was through on Tuesday, she gave Temi a call but she didn’t pick her call. She tried again on Wednesday and there was no response again. Something must be wrong because that was very much unlike her girl.

    “It was on Thursday evening that we actually got a text from one of her flatmates saying we should call this number; it’s about Temi and the police. At that point, I thought that as students they got in trouble with the law. But when a male and female police officers arrived at the door, I knew from my line of job that there was a problem.”

    First, the officers asked if she knew Temi, made a few confirmations and told them Temi had passed on. “I just kept insisting that I wanted to see her. They said I should wait for my husband. We managed the situation throughout the night and then people started to come. In life, when they say time stood still, time does stand still. He was on the flight that morning and we waited for him to arrive. By the time he came that night, it was like days had gone by. We travelled the next morning to see her and, of course, seeing her was the hardest thing for us. You just don’t want something so beautiful to finish. We saw her looking beautiful. It was as if she was asleep. It was very difficult but very necessary.”

    Ajoke then explains that it was the post mortem that actually revealed she died of meningitis. “Our first son actually had meningitis the year before as well. He was lucky, taken to hospital and given the right antibiotics just in time. So, when we now got a post mortem that she died of meningitis, we didn’t know what it was. Even though, we had been a sufferer. That is to tell you how people don’t think of meningitis.”

    So, the family saw it as a calling and decided to bring something good from her death.”We tried to work with Meningitis UK but it didn’t work. We came to Nigeria and found that Nigeria is on the middle belt of meningitis. It is more prevalent in the north. In fact, two years ago about 700 deaths occurred and it is something that we shouldn’t take lightly.”

    So, what has the foundation done? “What we focus on so far is awareness, educating people about what it is, quick identification of symptoms , what you can do to prevent meningitis as well as who is at risk. Those are the areas that we have been focusing on.”

    In the process, Boomfor Good Foundation has organised events that include walks, games to highlight this especially in a fun way. “You are more susceptible from age 2 to 10 as well as from 16 to 24.That is why they give two vaccines. By the time you are 24, it starts wearing off.”

    The foundation’s focus is on teenagers going to university because they are the ones that get less attention. “We encourage parents to take them for the dose when they go to university. For some reasons, it’s common because they are coming in contact with people from all over the world. Apparently, it is even called the lovers disease. Everyone is a carrier of the virus at the back of the throat. So, it is those who have low immune system that it might present itself.”

    They also tried to go into vaccines but came to a dead end. “We are still pursuing it because of the government policies about vaccines. Any vaccine that comes into Nigeria must come in through UNICEF. It must be government approved. We are trying to work through UNICEF. Our future focus is to give vaccines to people that cannot afford it and target places like IDP camps. So, we advocate you take one and donate one to a poor child. Also we want government to put policies in place for meningitis.”

    The disease, Braithwaite states, kills within 48 hours. ” So, if it is not caught on time, it kills. She came home for the weekend and we didn’t even know. Her friends didn’t know. If we rewind, my son who had it the year before was throwing up and he hadn’t eaten. He was throwing up violently, which is one of the symptoms. Also high temperature. For my son, it was his friends that noticed and they called an ambulance. By the time he got into the ambulance, he was already unconscious.”

  • Had I known…

    Adeola ADEBIYI

    AS I sat on my wheel chair in the front of a mirror, I realise how ugly I now look with half of my face melted away, and one of my arms which suddenly disappeared over night.

    I looked at the wall and my eyes landed on my portrait, which was given to me by a friend on my twenty sixth birthday.

    I looked so beautiful in it with the white set of my teeth dazzling like the moonlight. Comparing the lady in the portrait with the lady seated on the wheel chair, the difference is just too clear and I wonder if this is how one’s life changes.

    I am Adesua Arowojobe and very beautiful lady back in those days. I am the first in a family of five; three girls and two boys.

    I will regard my family as a poor one, we find it hard to eat twice in a day and my parents only strove hard to see me through the university.

    During my university days, I had a boyfriend whom I tried all I could to be faithful to; even though I can’t point at anything he did or brought for me.

    I’d call his type of relationship a parasitic one because he was the one getting from me even though I didn’t have much.

    We lived together throughout my stay in school because my parents couldn’t raise enough money for me to get an apartment. This made me get pregnant for him several times which resulted in several abortions.

    Type of friends I was keeping then was the big girls on campus. They advised me to leave my boyfriend (Tony) and join their aristos click.

    Read Also: ‘The secret of my youthful look’

    My boyfriend knew they wanted to win me to their side, so he tried his best to separate me from them. But I had to become close with them again when I needed money to write my project which my parents could not afford.

    One of them, whose name was Toyin helped me with the money but not without reminding me of the benefit I would get if I join them.

    I finished from school and went for my service, I was posted to the north while Tony did his own in Lagos. Towards the end of my service year, I noticed that my boyfriend’s attitude towards me has changed.

    I questioned him but he gave his reasons. After the Youth Service, Tony didn’t stay long before getting a job and after two months he told me he had to quit the relationship because he needed someone that is very much younger than I was.

    It wasn’t easy forgetting him, but I had to try because I desperately needed a job then and the frustration my mum was giving me then was unbearable, she lamented any time I went to her for transport; fare for me to go interviews.

    My younger ones were also looking up to me, so I decided to forget about tony and tightened my belt so as to get a good job. After a year and four months I still could not get a job. I got fed up and was determined to go for whatever opportunity that came up.

    One fateful day, while coming from a place where I went to check the result of an interview I went for, I ran into Toyin with whom I had lost contact since we graduated. She was so happy seeing me and I was too. She was in a jeep and was really looking okay.

    She took me to an eatery where we talked. She told me one of our friends now lives in UK where she owns a boutique; another is happily marries to a senator while she (Toyin) is into importing and exporting of lace materials.

    I told her my story and she blamed me for everything. She gave me her address and told me to come and her so that she could arrange something for me.

    Two days later I went to see her and she told me that she has called one of her Alhaji’s and that the man was willing to meet and help me.

    She gave me some money to get myself some clothes,. During that weekend we both travelled to Abuja, where I met the Alhaji; Taofeek a friend to her man-friend.

    Alhaji was so nice to me, he provided all I needed and transformed me over night. I forgot all about getting a job and waited for Alhaji to fulfil his promise of setting up a business for me.

    My family were so proud of me and my mum advised me to marry Alhaji if he proposed.

    Things were going on smoothly until the day Alhaji Taofeek and Toyin’s Alhaji told us (Toyin and I) that they had a party they would want both of us to attend with them.

    They went before us, but sent one of their drivers to come and pick us. The party was in the north, so we had to travel far. It was on our way going that we had a fatal accident that claimed the life of both Toyin and the driver.

    I was just lucky to be alive. My parents had to spend all they had gained from Alhaji on me to be in the condition that I now am.

  • How to deal with confessions in a relationship

    By Rois Ola

    AZUKA and Nkem grew up as childhood sweethearts, Azuka’s parents and Nkem’s parents had been family friends for years. They both went to the same primary school but due to a federal government policy, Azuka and her family had to relocate to another city.

    Fortunately, they reunited in university and their love for each other was stronger than ever. They eventually got married a few years after University, but never told each other some secrets from their past while they were separated. Azuka was raped by her maternal uncle while in secondary school and gave birth to a baby girl, whom the world thinks is her baby sister. Nkem on the other hand had once been arrested for armed robbery immediately after high school, due to his parents influence he was set free, he is now a changed man and wants to be a law abiding citizen, yet Azuka is not aware of this past life.

    After a while Azuka’s mother died and the question of who would be responsible for Azuka’s daughter came up unfortunately Nkem was not aware Azuka was a mother, because she never told him. Nkem also needed to change jobs but was denied the new position because of his past criminal record and unfortunately he never told Azuka!!

    This is a situation many people face, some are free from it, while some will never be and die with these secrets. Life is truly tough because we continuously face the consequence of our decisions every single day.

    It is said by some researchers that one in every five people have kept major secrets from their partner. These secrets come in different forms from secret savings, to secret house, to secret children, secret spouse, secret car, secret clothes, secret investments, secret cash and the list goes on. There’s a general assumption that secrets are bad. And it’s a pretty reliable rule of thumb that honesty is best with the people you love like your partner, your children, your family, your best friend, anyone who matters to you deserves the TRUTH. — because secrets get in the way of real intimacy, they hinder you, they keep nagging your mind and thought, make you falter. But there are all sorts of reasons why, sometimes, coming clean may do more harm than good, some secrets destroy everything and the ripple effect is just like a tsunami sweeping everything away.

    In this case I’m not talking about small secrets, but really who is to say what’s small or big in terms of secrets?  What may be small to you, will appear mighty to another person. A minor misdemeanor is another person’s betrayal.

    Read Also: How to survive a broken relationship

     

    Long-held secrets have the ability to destroy more than you can imagine. Why?  because the person is changed forever in the other person’s eyes, you just may never be able to see them the same way again. generally, people recover on different levels some do not have the ability to recover from betrayal of trust, however hard they try, this is just how it is for them.

    I mean obviously if you KNOW what you are doing is wrong why do it anyway? When it will be so difficult to own up, but then this is life, full of mystery and should we say “the devil?” who makes us do things (he always gets the blame).  The sad part is there is nothing like the right time for a confession, the day you think is the right time may be the wrong one, but you cannot keep avoiding it.

    There is a research (not my opinion) that 18 per cent of over-40s keep hefty stashes of cash secret from their partners. While another says some couples can keep secrets for as long as 25years (wow really?) then again who is a saint? Who is willing to cast the first stone?

    I will discuss a few of these secrets with you below

    The secret of having Affairs and/ or one-night stand

    I believe that the damage a secret can cause in your relationship depends on your personal perception. Also in some cases how your partner perceives it to be, the more you keep it, the harder it is to confess. The secret will not give you peace of mind. I had a case of someone who had a one-night stand, that was meant to be “meaningless” the cost of keeping over time became an additional burden. let’s not even talk about porn, debt, gambling, another wife or husband hidden somewhere or having a constant side chick or side bae, an ongoing relationship that does not seem to have an expiry date.

    Coming clean means you have to change, are you ready to?

    The Effect of confession

    It may be a relief at long last to get a secret off your chest and finally be free. But what about the person who has been kept in the dark? How can you tell what the reaction will be? secrecy is deadly.   It is nearly always better not to have secrets, but sometimes it might be better to keep quite in a wise Head, the decision is yours. You have to think about what you’re hoping to achieve and be ready for the consequence, you also have to think about keeping quiet and be ready for what comes after or maybe never just maybe.

    Secrets of the family

    For any family, there should be boundaries on secrecy. while some couples may think there is nothing wrong in letting the kids know about what goes on between the couple it is not ideal to be too open or frank with them, especially if they are not old enough to fully comprehend issues on ground. Honesty is best. But that doesn’t mean revealing all the dirty details. I usually advise that couples should censor with wisdom their words and think carefully about motives before you give away too much about your life or issues between you and your partner

    Ultimately, it’s up to you as a couple to decide what’s appropriate for them. But never underestimate the impact of revealing secrets to your children. Be wise

    Steps to take if you decide to confess a secret

    — Think about how your partner will feel. Will it be good? will be bad? or downright ugly? Put yourself in his or her shoes.

    — It’s an awesome relief if you have now decided to come clean yourself. It’s much harder if you get caught with that secret, and also difficult if you are the one it is being hidden from.

    — Be ready for hard work, because when trust is lost gaining it back is serious pressure, your every move after this will be scrutinized closely, you must be ready. And it will take time. Sometimes it is difficult to gauge the real depth of damage confession brings. It’s just a risk one may have to take to set things right.

    —  The onus will now be on you to lay emphasis that you believe honesty is a risk worth taking because you value the relationship (that will not be easy to say)

    —  Have it in mind that if your relationship is truly strong, and you are prepared to put in the work, and also face the music, then confession can lead to renewed trust and closeness. you just have to try and convince them that you will not or never repeat those things and own up quickly when you need help to resist. I wish you all the best.