Category: Relationships

In organized societies, certain age groups are deemed vulnerable and as such require the protection of the authorities against any form of abuse or maltreatment. Top on the list are OAPs (old age pensioners) and the very young (those 25 and below). For the latter, programmes such as good educational facilities both academic and vocational are provided to equip them for the challenges of adult life in a modern world.

All this investment in the young is highly necessary as the youths are the main inheritors of the future. The law of nature with regards to Man’s mortality ensures that the older ones die out and the next generation takes their place. It’s an immutable law that man, no matter his advancements in science or medicine, can change. This is the reason, societies with a keen eye for the future invests heavily in its young people.

As for the OAPs, these have spent the best parts of their lives-their youth and most productive years-serving their fatherland and communities. With retirement comes a time to put their feet up and take a well deserved rest from their labours. A situation made easier with the monthly pension often paid to them. But what happens in a situation where the pensions, as small as they are, are not paid regularly? Hunger, disease, suffering and even early death becomes common. That is the lot of most OAPs in our dear country.

But let’s leave the retirees for now and talk about the young ones who are making news for all the wrong reasons right now. If you have been living in this country for the past decade or so, you will agree with me that this is not a good time to be young. It’s like everything has been done to not just emasculate but frustrate the nation’s youths. Successive administrations, lacking in vision and with no clear-cut plans for the country have failed woefully to invest in the young. The result is poor educational facilities with disenchanted and restive academic staff as well as students forced to study and live in environments that are sometimes unfit for animals.

After finally graduating maybe 5-7 years after matriculation (for a 4 year course), what does the youth of today face? Massive unemployment, with a labour market that is virtually non-existent as new jobs are not created each year despite the fact that millions of job seekers, pour into this market from the numerous tertiary institutions in the country. Indeed, these days, it’s far easier for one to walk to the moon and back than get a job, months after graduation in Nigeria. The few exceptions are those with parents with top connections or long legs, who can pull a few strings from behind the scene to get good jobs for their kids.

As if all these are not enough to give these young ones grey hairs before their grandparents, they have to contend with a gradual reduction in their numbers. The past few years have seen a systematic attack on this group. Youth corps members posted to certain parts of the country to serve their fatherland with the zeal and vigour associated with youth, have been mauled down like animals in a slaughterhouse. The Boko Haram menace has been particularly hard on the youths as many have been ferociously cut down in their homes, churches, schools and other places.

The recent incidents in Mubi and Port-Harcourt involving students have only added to the frightening statistics of a nation losing the flower of its youth. Both incidents coming so close together have left most Nigerians, who have been completely desensitised and traumatised by years of bad governance, mass poverty and a general loss of hope in the system, shocked beyond words. The bestiality of the acts is beyond belief, like scenes from a horror film. That such barbarism can occur in a 21st century Nigeria have left many wondering whether this is a sign that we are gradually retrogressing, going back to the stone age or medieval times when the law of the jungle prevailed.

What I find so distressing about these incidents is the pointlessness of it all. What could these young boys have done to warrant such brutality, to be plucked down in their prime in such a brazen, heartless manner? It’s just too horrible to contemplate that in our society of today, we have people in our midst whose beastly behaviour would put wild animals in the jungle to shame.

Many have condemned the acts and called for the culprits to be brought to book. It shouldn’t end there because we have heard such sentiments before and nothing comes out of it at the end of the day. The sad truth is that this is a country where crime is treated with great levity. Most criminals get away with their crimes and it’s the innocent who suffer. An official is caught stealing billions of naira from the national coffers and what happens? He’s often given a slap on the wrist and allowed to walk away free, to enjoy his ill-gotten loot in peace.

That is the reality of our society today and why corruption has become the biggest industry in town. And the reason for an increase in such criminal activities like kidnapping, armed robbery, drug trafficking, rituals/voodooism, yahoo yahoo, etc among the youths who have been socialised to believe that it is only through crime that one can become successful in life. That crime pays in Nigeria. They are a product of their environment, you know (but that’s a topic for another day).

Meanwhile, all those responsible for the deaths of those students must be prosecuted and jailed. That’s the only way such evil acts don’t occur again as we are tired of burying our young people. Most youths are very angry with this country because they have no sense of belonging. The feeling among them is that their collective patrimony have been stolen by their greedy elders and there’s nothing left for their present or even future.

The OAPs too, who see their pensions looted by those who are supposed to look after them are equally frustrated and bitter against the country. Indeed, Nigeria has become like the movie of the same title, ‘No country for old men.’ Or young ones for that matter. A pity…

Continued from last week

In that type of noisy situation, a good night’s rest is impossible and one often wakes up most days red-eyed and irritable from sleep deprivation.

And this applies to a large proportion of the populace who have to endure the noise emitted by these nasty generators. Now you understand why many people these days are grumpy, stressed out and generally angry with the world.

And as if the noise from the gens are not enough trouble, other things contribute to noise pollution in the country and consequently, the deafness rate in the country. Top among these is noise emitting from religious houses like mosques and churches. Many are situated in residential areas and at times of worship, the noise from the loudspeakers they often use is on the same level, if not more than those made by the generators.

In fact, my very good friend and namesake, Pat once lived in a house at Gbagada with a very big church as next door neighbour. On Sundays, while other faithful are heading to their places of worship, my friend will be sitting comfortably in her house.

When you ask her why she’s not at service, she will reply:

“There’s a church right at my doorstep so why should I bother going faraway to worship. I follow the service from the beginning till the end. I participate in the praise and worship, listen attentively to the sermon and I also partake in the blessings from God.”

“How do you pay your tithes and offerings then?” she is asked.

“That is between me and my God. It’s none of your business. Afterall, the Bible says the right hand should not know what the left hand is doing! So, how I pay my tithes should not be your problem!” she would retort.

If the noise pollution is not bad enough, what about the air pollution caused by the noxious fumes emitting from the generators? Thick, poisonous fumes come out from most of them which pollute the air space. The health hazards of these fumes are many and can cause such respiratory problems such as asthma, bronchitis, cartarrh, breathlessness among others. What about the long term effect of inhaling these fumes such as lung cancer and other forms of cancer and other diseases that might not manifest now until years to come? Besides, many people have died in their homes while sleeping with their gens on. The hazards are indeed numerous.

From all this, it’s obvious that the onset of generators in this country has been a real ‘curse’ not just economically, socially, health wise but in other ways. They’ve caused Nigerians too much trauma and all kinds of stress and we cannot continue like this.

So what should be done about these machines? The sensible thing is have all of them dumped in a refuse heap and destroyed. But we can’t do without them for now due to the poor power supply in the country presently.

This is why those in charge of the power sector should intensify efforts in improving the power situation. In fact, any serious government should make it its number one priority as improved power will have a multiplier effect on the economy and improved quality of life for the people.

That way, a time will come when we can all gladly pack up our generators and dump them in the store room for future generations, who hopefully will live in a Nigeria with 24 hour power supply, to marvel at and wonder what ‘these strange-looking machines’ were used for…

Concluded

Elfreda was everything Meera was not: loving, caring and homely as well.

She was always concerned about my welfare and to top all that, she cooked very well and often prepared the most delicious meals for me.

One evening, I was at her apartment and as she bustled around preparing dinner, I could not help but compare the atmosphere there with the one at my home. There was a homely feel, an air of domesticity that was lacking at home. Here was a woman who knew how to take care of a home and her man unlike my wife to whom the kitchen was an alien territory never to be ventured into.

I sighed and changed the channel on the TV.

“What’s with the long face?” Elfreda asked, as she sat besides me on the couch.

I smiled at her and drew her to me.

“I was just thinking about the past. How good we were together…” I stated, a hint of regret in my voice.

“You are right. Perhaps, that’s why I couldn’t get over you no matter how hard I tried,” she said, looking at me in a way that made me ache with longing for her.

Cradling her face gently in my arms, I said:

“Thanks for opening your heart to me again. I promise you that things will be different this time. I will never, ever let you go again, no matter what happens. Please trust me on this.”

She gazed at me for a while before speaking.

“I believe you, Dave. Besides, I don’t really have any choice as my life is meaningless without you. I tried dating other guys just to get you out of my mind but it wasn’t possible. As long as you are by my side, I’m happy,” she stated, smiling sweetly at me.

I kissed her on the forehead and held her tightly to me.

The runaway wife

On getting home that night, Meera was already there. I was surprised to see her because she got home most days very late at night.

“And where are you coming from at this time of the night? Don’t tell me it’s the office because I know you left there long ago!”

I glanced behind me to see if she was talking to some one else. Then I looked at her in surprise.

“Are you talking to me?” I asked her.

“Who else could I be talking to? There are only two of us in this room!”

“And what business is it of yours where I’m coming from?” I queried as I walked towards the staircase to go to my room.

She stood in front of me, blocking me off.

“I’m your wife, remember? So, it’s my business to know what happens to you,” she responded.

I burst into laughter at her words, which made her step back a little.

“Wife? What wife? When was the last time you played your role as a wife in this house? When did you ever care about my welfare or that of your daughter for that matter?” I enquired.

“Is that why you’ve been running all over time with that tramp?” she asked belligently.

“What are you talking about? What tramp?”

“Stop acting dumb! You know who I mean? Your ex-girlfriend, Elfreda. Or you think I won’t know? That you’ve been running around town with her? Spending time with her?” she demanded angrily.

I was surprised by her words but it didn’t show on my face as I said:

“I see you are drunk again. If you don’t have anything better to say, just shut up. I’m tired and I need to rest,” I stated, pushing her out of the way.

As I climbed up to my room, I could hear her screaming:

“I don’t blame you! Now that you’ve made money and are rich, you think you are a star! Let me remind you in case you’ve forgotten; I made you whatever you are today! And with a snap of my fingers, I can unmake you! I know you are cheating on me and it must stop because nobody cheats on me! You are my husband and as long as we are still together, I can’t share you with another woman, least of all that bitch!”

I laughed out loud as I opened the door to my room. ‘Imagine her calling someone a cheat. What is she then, with all her boyfriends?’ I thought to myself.

I continued to see Elfreda despite Meera’s threats. It was necessary for me to retain some form of sanity because of the situation at home which was becoming impossible. Meera and I were fighting nearly everyday, a situation which made me reluctant to go home after work. Most days, it was Elfreda’s place that I went to from the office. It was like a haven of peace in a very stormy situation.

“I don’t know how long I can go on like this,” I grumbled to Dick one day. I had gone to visit him at home and we had been talking about my problems at home.

“You have to take it easy,” he stated.

“For how long? Life with Meera has become impossible. She’s just driving me crazy. I can’t bear it any longer,” I said, taking a sip of my drink.

“So, what do you intend to do?” asked Dick.

I sighed then said:

“I really don’t know. I’m really confused right now,” I stated sadly with my hands on my head. “The sensible thing is to just walk away. But I don’t believe in divorce. I don’t want my daughter to come from a broken home. But I can no longer stay with Meera because of her behaviour. Do you know she keeps bringing her boyfriends home and flaunting them in my face? How long can I continue to tolerate such horrible behaviour from my own wife? I don’t want to commit murder but anything can happen one of these days if she dares bring one of her men to the house again…”

We were silent for a while then Dick said:

“I know it’s not the time to say this, but I think you should have stayed with Elfreda. She’s the right woman for you…”

“You think I don’t know that?” I stated vehemently. “I regret leaving her every day. I just thank God that she forgave me and accepted me back. Now, no matter what happens, I will never leave her again. I want her by my side always as she makes me happy, helps me forget my sorrows.”

A few months later, Meera unexpectedly travelled abroad. She did not inform me about the trip. I got home one night to meet a note she had dropped for me in which she stated that she was taking a break from me and all the trouble I was causing her.

“I’ll be away for about a year. I’ve left Cyndi behind as I believe she will be better off with you as you always accuse me of being a bad mother. You accuse me of kinds of things but you seem to forget that I, Meera made you what you are today. Instead of showing gratitude, all you do is give me stress. I’ve had enough of all the grief you give me so goodbye for now…”

To be frank, I felt nothing but relief at her going away. I would now have some peace in my life but it was going to be temporary as she would still be returning. Right now, I’m thinking of filing for divorce on the grounds of desertion so I can be with Elfreda always. She’s the one I want to be with and I want nothing more to do with Meera. Do you think I’ve made the right decision?

Readers’ reaction welcome.

Concluded

Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals.

Send advice/suggestions to 08023201831 or psaduwa@yahoo.com. The best response from a reader wins N1000 recharge card.

Preview of next week’s edition titled ‘Bride of winter’

Abby and Henry dated for some years before he travelled out of the country in search of a better life. After five years of being separated, Henry returned to the country so they could get married. He went back to his base abroad after the wedding, with the plan for his bride to join him later. A few months later, Abby jets out of the country to meet her husband, full of high expectations of a life of bliss and happiness abroad with her beloved. But the reality of life over there is far from what she dreamt of. Don’t miss this exciting new series in your ever sizzling The Nation!

“You should not blame her too much. She must have been spoilt as a child and never learnt the things a woman needed to know about running her home,” my mother stated one evening. We were sitting in the main living-room watching a programme on TV. Meera had travelled out of the country for what she termed, ‘to rest a bit and do some shopping.’ I wondered what she was resting from: excessive partying and drinking perhaps, I thought grimly to myself.

I however, listened to my mum’s advice and decided to be more tolerant about Meera’s behaviour. I had no choice as we were already married and there was nothing I could do about it. Besides, things were going very well for me in my business. Within a few years, it had grown so big that we had to move to a bigger space and employ more staff. I had grown very rich in such a short time. And what gave me even more satisfaction was that I had achieved most of it by my own efforts, with some support from my wife and her family. I lived an opulent lifestyle, drove expensive cars and wore the best clothes.

Despite all that, though, I was not truly happy. It was like something was missing in my life, a void that money or luxuries could not fill. The truth was that I was not happy in my marriage. By this time, Meera and I were quarreling most of the time. As her behavior grew more outrageous, so did my anger with her. There were times, we would not speak to each other for weeks though we lived in the same house.

I tried to reason with her but it was no use.

“You need to break away from these friends of yours. A married woman shouldn’t be keeping so many single friends and jumping from one party, one club to another, drinking and getting into all kinds of wild behaviour,” I said one day. It was our fourth wedding anniversary and she had been drinking and smoking all day and was not fully sober.

“You are beginning to get on my nerves with all this nagging. This was how I was when you met me. You have to accept me the way I am or you can get out,” she responded, blowing cigarrette smoke in my face.

* * *

It was at this stage that Elfreda came back into my life. I had not seen her since we broke up. From friends, I had been getting news about her life though. I learnt she had gone back to school, got a Masters degree and was working in a top firm. And had remained single.

We ran into each other at the wedding of a mutual friend. She hadn’t changed much. She was dressed in a pale blue dress with a smart hat perched on her head. She looked very pretty in the outfit and my eyes were continually drawn to her. Initially, she was very cold towards me and refused to return my greeting or even acknowledge my presence. But my friend, Dick, who was also at the event, spoke to her and we later got talking. I apologized profusely for what I had done to her.

“Fifi,” I said, using the nickname I had given her and always called her with, “I know no words are strong enough to express how sorry I am about the way I treated you. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me…” I said in a beseeching tone.

She smiled a little at me then said:

“I forgave you long ago so you don’t have to worry about that.” Then she added:

“But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. You hurt me too badly for me to forget that easily.”

We were sitting in my car at the car park of the venue of the wedding reception. She turned towards me in the small confines of the car and said:

“At least something good came out of it all. Just look at you! You’ve done really well for yourself and have become such a successful businessman. You must be very happy,” she stated.

I smiled wryly at her.

“Don’t be deceived by outward appearances. One can look happy on the surface, but really miserable inside,” I replied, thinking of my situation at home with Meera. We were supposed to have attended the wedding together but she had been unable to make it as she was sleeping off the effect of a party she had gone to the previous day. We had had another row before I had left the house that morning for my friend’s wedding.

“With all your wealth, why would you be sad?” she wondered, a questioning look in her eyes.

“There are certain things that money can’t buy in this world,” I stated enigmatically.

“Like…?” she asked curiously.

Peace of mind. Contentment. Happiness. Marital bliss… But I didn’t voice my thoughts but simply looked searchingly into her eyes. She must have read something in my expression for she sighed and looked away. That was the thing with Elfreda- she sometimes had the ability to read what was on my mind, fathom my innermost thoughts without my speaking.

She reached for the door.

“I need to get back to the party. I came with a friend and he must be looking for me by now.”

“Is he a boyfriend?” I asked, suddenly feeling jealous even though I knew I had no right to.

She shook her head.

“Just a friend.”

As she made to step down from the car, I held her hand.

“I’ll like to see you again, Fifi. I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t think it’s wise. You are married now and…”

“I know,” I quickly cut in. “Please. At least for old times sake. It will mean a lot to me,” I pleaded.

She shrugged.

“Alright,” she said.

The following week, we met up for lunch at a restaurant not too far from my office. She was on leave so she had not gone to work. Like she had stated, it wasn’t very wise for us to be seeing each other again but I just couldn’t help myself. Meeting her again at that wedding had brought back memories of the past, of the time we had been together. It made me realize what I had lost when we broke up; the genuine love, affection and deep friendship Elfreda and I shared. I never felt that way about Meera. In my own way, I loved my wife especially at the beginning of our relationship though for sometime now, it was becoming more difficult to feel anything for her but anger and resentment.

That day, Elfreda and I spent a long time at the restaurant, chatting and reminiscing about old times. It was like, we had never parted, never separated…

As I drove back to the office after we parted, I felt happy for the first time in ages. It was like a heavy weight had been lifted off my chest, leaving me with a euphoric feeling.

Together again

After that day, we saw again a couple of times. The old attraction was still there between us and with time, we were back to our old relationship, becoming lovers again. I never planned to be unfaithful to my wife but in a way, she caused it due to the situation at home which had worsened. Apart from her excessive partying and clubbing, Meera had also started taking lovers outside. I had heard rumors which I dismissed as idle talk. But that changed when she even had the guts to bring one of her boyfriends home.

I had returned from work one evening to see her sitting cosily with a man in the main living room. I had never seen him before and when I questioned her about him, she replied that he was a business partner. They later went out together and she did not return home till the following evening. That day, we had a big fight as I was so mad at her that she was not just cheating on me but was flaunting her affairs in my face.

Later, I reported her to her family so they could intervene in the matter. While her brother, Tony, tried to talk some sense into her, her mum only ended up fanning the flames of discord in our home.

“What do you mean she should stop going clubbing?” her mum queried when I complained about her daughter’s incessant partying as well as her affairs. “So, because she’s now married, she should start living like the Pope, is it? You should leave my daughter alone to enjoy herself, ok! You are doing nothing but stressing her with all these your complaints!”

In this type of volatile atmosphere at home, you could imagine why I turned to Elfreda for some comfort. I always felt happy and relaxed when I was with her. She was everything Meera was not: loving, caring and homely as well…

To be continued

What happened to Dave, Meera and his old flame Elfreda? Join us for the final episode next Saturday!

Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals.

Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831 or email psaduwa@yahoo.com

If you are the type with an aversion for nude pictures, then I will advise you to steer clear of the internet this period. This is because, in the past couple of weeks, the internet has been awash with nude photos of certain persons, both famous and the unknown. Never knew that taking naked pictures of one, has become the latest hobby in town.

First, it was those of a certain lady said to be a top banker in one of the financial institutions in the country. The story goes that the photos were the handiwork of a jilted lover, who incensed by being dumped, took his revenge in a most shocking way, by posting his lover’s nude photos on the web. Those who saw them, all agreed they were not a sight you will want your young children to see. They were that raunchy. Who knew that some bankers, in a profession renowned for its conservatism, lived such ‘wild lives’ on the side? They present such a serious image in those banking halls, it’s quite shocking to hear stuff like this about some of them.

And secondly, the British Monarchy is in the middle of a serious media storm as a result of naked pictures of Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge and wife of Prince William that were published in a French magazine last week. The offending pictures were allegedly taken by the sharp lens of a paparazzi while the couple were holidaying in a villa in France. This latest scandal is coming so soon after the Harrygate affair- when naked photos of Prince Harry while holidaying in Vegas, were published on the internet.

From all these examples, it’s becoming crystal clear that the web is becoming a tool that the inventors never envisaged- a medium for exacting revenge and for publishing stuff that will put people, especially the famous in a very bad and embarrassing light.

For the lady whose pictures were circulated on the internet, one can image her state of mind when the photos, taken in privacy became public property via the web. Anger and despair must have been some of the emotions she felt. And regret for taking such intimate pictures in the first place and sending them to her boyfriend. One of the questions asked by some who saw the photos was why would a grown woman, and a married one at that, with a responsible position in a bank, take such pictures in the first place, much less send them to a boyfriend, not even her husband?

To them, she brought all the mess on herself and as such has no one to blame for all the humiliation and embarrassment she’s going through, including losing her job. I agree totally with them. Nobody put a gun on her head and forced her to take those pictures. It was a choice she made, a very bad choice as events have shown.

And her experience should be a lesson to others-those who think nothing of taking lurid pictures of themselves and storing them in their computers, mobile phones and other gadgets- remember, they might come back to haunt you one day. If in doubt, ask former actress Anita Hogan, whose movie career, prematurely ended due to some nude photos of hers that were splashed all over the internet in 2006. Six years later, she’s yet to recover from that scandal.

As for the Duchess of Cambridge, all I can say is, welcome to the club! As soon as she married into the Royal Family, she ‘signed’ a life-long contract with intense media interest, the paparazzi and public scrutiny. All her actions will be covered by the media (especially the papps) who will go to any length to get exclusive photos of her as the ones taken in France show. She will learn now that with the kind of ‘gold fish’ lifestyle and the life of privilege and luxury she married into, also comes great responsibility. And that includes keeping her clothes on all the time except perhaps in the privacy of her bedroom. So, no more topless sunbathing by the pool, please since she’s not a page 3 girl.

She looked at me sharply and asked: “What’s that supposed to mean? Have I not been supportive enough?”

“You are getting me wrong. I’m not saying that. All I’m saying is that this project means a lot to me and I need all the support I can get for it to take off,” I explained calmly. I could see she was getting worked up and since I didn’t want us to get into an argument, I let the matter drop.

It was a few days later that the issue came up again. It was Meera who brought it up.

“So what kind of business are you planning to go into?” she asked one evening after dinner. I looked at her, surprised and pleased as well. I had already done the proposal on my laptop which I quickly showed to her.

“Hmm. This doesn’t look bad,” she commented, as she used the console to scroll down the page to check all the details including the start-off capital I would require.

Later, after discussing more about the business, she stated:

“It looks viable. I think I like it.”

I simply smiled, glad I had won her over.

With her support and that of her family, I was able to raise the capital and the business took off. Meera offered me the use of one of her buildings which was vacant then and with the initial staff I recruited, we moved in. That was how I started my own business. My wife really tried to support the business especially at the beginning. The first major job I got was through a contact of hers. It was a big, multi-million naira job and I threw myself into it to ensure I delivered.

With time, more of such jobs came and I started doing really well, making more money than I had ever dreamt of. To add to my joy, Meera gave birth to a daughter whom we named Cyndi. It was a happy time for us and we became closer. However, it wasn’t long before cracks began to appear in our bubble of happiness.

Actually, they emanated mostly from our home life. Shortly after our wedding, I realised quickly that Meera was not the domestic type of woman. She knew next to nothing about running a home and worse, was not even ready to learn. She couldn’t cook, wash, clean the house and take care of stuff in the home that a good wife is supposed to do.

“I was brought up in a home with a lot of domestic staff. A cook prepared all our meals and maids cleaned the house. I never learned to cook,” Meera explained when I grumbled about her shortcomings in the home. We had moved after the wedding, to another accommodation not too far from Meera’s apartment. It was a big mansion owned by my wife’s family with a large garden, a swimming pool and other facilities. To run the place, Meera employed a large retinue of staff including a cook, maids, drivers, a nanny for Cyndi and even a man to do the laundry.

“Are they not too many? We don’t need all these people,” I stated when the staff resumed for work.

“We sure do. Who’s going to do all the work around here? Definitely not me!” she declared.

Besides her inability to cook and do other domestic work, my wife also turned out to be very sloppy and untidy. Most days, our bedroom looked as if a tsunami had passed through it as her expensive outfits, handbags, dirty clothes and other stuff would be strewn all over the place. I liked to live in a clean environment and I couldn’t understand why she was so messy. This caused several quarrels between us but she refused to change her sloppy ways which only manifested at home. Whenever she was going out especially to parties, she would spend hours dressing up and by the time she finished, she would look so beautiful and glamorous, she could be mistaken for a model. Sometimes, I found it difficult reconciling that untidy lady at home with the glamour puss outside.

It got to a stage I could not bear it any longer and I had to move out of our bedroom to a spare room in the house.

“I need my own space,” I explained when she asked why I was moving out.

That was not all. Her attitude towards our lovely daughter became a source of worry to me. Meera hardly paid attention to her, leaving all the care to the nanny. It wasn’t as if she was a busy career woman. She was a director in the family business but she didn’t have to be in the office every day. She went a few days a week and closed whenever she liked. So, she had a lot of time on her hands, yet she neglected Cyndi. She would go out in the morning and would not return home till very late.

Since I was very busy at work, I didn’t know what was going on till my mum came to stay with me for some time. She drew my attention to my wife’s neglect of her baby.

“She’s supposed to be a nursing mother, yet she’s hardly at home. She leaves the baby with the nanny all day and only comes home at night,” my mother disclosed one night on my return home from work.

I looked at the baby who was sleeping peacefully in her cot. She was nearly six months old and was growing very fast. The nanny had closed for the day and she was in the care of my mother. It was nearly 10 pm yet Meera was not back from wherever she had gone to.

That night, Meera did not come home till nearly midnight. I was really angry with her and I gave her a piece of my mind.

“The baby is still too young to be left alone. You are the mother. She needs your love and care now,” I told her firmly. We were in her room where she was undressing and as usual, flinging clothes and shoes carelessly everywhere.

She turned an angry look on me.

“She has a nanny who’s doing a good job. So, what am I supposed to do? Sit at home and hold her hand?” she asked with a hint of sarcasm.

I shook my head.

“That’s not the point. A baby needs bonding with the mother especially at this early stage of her life. A nanny can’t do that,” I pointed out. “Besides, the nanny takes care of the baby, the cook prepares our meals and the other staff do all the work. So, what do you, as the wife do in this house?” I asked.

She came up to where I stood and smiled coyly at me.

“I take care of this,” she said softly, her hand slipping inside the loose house robe I was wearing to caress my chest and body. At first, I resisted her caresses as I was still angry with her. But as she slipped out of her undies and she wrapped her warm, voluptuous body round me, I melted.

I kissed her and fondled her succulent breasts. She began to moan and held me tightly. Soon, we were hungry with desire for each other and falling on the bed, bodies entwined, all was silent in the room for a while except the sounds of our lovemaking…

* * *

Despite my talk with Meera, her attitude did not change. In fact, it got worse. She even started sleeping outside our home. When I complained, she would give the excuse that she had gone to a party with Tracy and her other friends and it was too late to return home.

“I slept at Tracy’s place. What’s the big deal about that,” she grumbled, turning over on the bed with the intention of going back to sleep even though it was nearly twelve noon.

“The big deal is that you are now a married woman. And a responsible married lady doesn’t run all over town with her friends, going from one party to another and sleeping outside her matrimonial home,” I said angrily and stormed out of her room. I could not understand why she couldn’t just focus on her home and family and reduced her partying ways. I knew when we were dating that Meera was the fun-loving, partying type who loved to attend all kinds of bashes with her friends especially at weekends. Most of her circle of friends, who were all from wealthy backgrounds, were like that including Tracy who was like the head of their group and the most ‘crazy’ of them all.

Return of Elfreda

But I had thought with marriage and motherhood, that she would calm down, become more mature and responsible. How wrong I was! She was only interested in two things; shopping and partying. Those were the things that absorbed all her attention to the detriment of her baby and even husband. She could travel to any part of the world just to shop or attend a high class party. She never bothered about my meals or wellbeing as a caring wife should. Agreed, the domestic staff took care of all that but it was not the same. You can call me old-fashioned but I still believe it was a wife’s duty to look after the home and her family. I often longed for a nice meal cooked by my own wife instead of by a cook no matter how delicious his meals were. When I was growing up, my mother did all the cooking in our home and my father never ate food cooked by a servant.

I wanted the same for myself but it seemed I had chosen the wrong woman. Whenever I complained to my mum about my wife’s behaviour, she would preach tolerance.

“You should not blame her too much. She must have been spoilt as a child and never learnt the things a woman needed to know about running her home,” she stated one evening.

To be continued

Next Saturday, Dave runs into his old flame, Elfreda and sparks start flying… Don’t miss it!

Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals.

Send comments/suggestion to 08023201831 or psaduwa@yahoo.com