The Nation Newspaper

Category: Relationships

  • Six reasons some men never admit being in a relationship

    Six reasons some men never admit being in a relationship

    Many men don’t admit that they’re in a relationship with a woman. Relationships can occasionally suffer as a result, with women questioning why men are avoiding acknowledging the obvious. There are numerous explanations for why some men choose not to disclose that they are seeing a woman.

    Here are the six reasons some men never admit they are in a relationship

    1. They’re not sure about the future of the relationship

    A lot of men don’t admit to being in a relationship with a woman because they’re not sure about the future of their relationship. This is why they avoid giving it a name or label. It is also their way of buying time to see if they really are compatible with the other person or not.

    2. They enjoy the attention of other women

    Some men are simply not ready to settle down and prefer to keep their options open. Admitting they’re in a relationship might close off potential opportunities for attention from other women, which they find exciting. For them, keeping their status a secret allows them to enjoy the thrill of being pursued.

    3. They fear losing their freedom

    For some men, admitting they’re in a relationship feels like losing their freedom. They might worry that being “taken” means giving up their independence, spontaneity, or social life.

    Read Also: UPDATED: US govt returns $52.88m seized from Diezani, associates to Nigeria

    This fear can lead them to keep things on the down low, as they see it as a way to maintain their sense of freedom while still enjoying the benefits of being with someone.

    4. They don’t want to face pressure from friends and family

    A man might avoid admitting he’s in a relationship to escape pressure from his friends or family. Some may not want to deal with the constant questions or expectations that come once a relationship is out in the open.

    Keeping things private helps them avoid unnecessary scrutiny or pressure about where the relationship is heading.

    5. They don’t really like their partner

    It is also possible that a man doesn’t really like their partner and is just passing time with her. In such situations, they never like to admit that they are in a relationship and pretend as if there’s nothing going on between him and the girl.

    6. They want to keep their options open

    A lot of men also don’t admit to being in a relationship, because they want to keep their options open. This essentially means that a man may think they may find a better match in future and if they disclose their relationship from the rest of the world, they always stand a chance of approaching other women and being hit on by other women.

  • Seven habits that make people respect you

    Seven habits that make people respect you

    Respect is a fascinating thing. It’s not something you can demand, it’s earned.

    And believe it or not, there are small habits you can adopt that can really turn the tides in your favor.

    But gaining true respect takes more than just talking a big game. It requires walking the walk through small, consistent actions that demonstrate your character.

    You want people to look up and take notice when you speak. You want them to really listen and think, follow these steps.

    here are the 7 small Habits that make people respect you

    1. Show up on time

    But it is a fact that consistently showing up on time signals reliability.

    People will assume “this person respects my time” if you always roll in right on the dot. It makes you seem trustworthy and organized.

    So set alarms, plan ahead, and make it a rule to hit your marks with a few minutes to spare. Those extra minutes can work magic! Your new timely habits will say “my time matters and so does yours.”

    2. Always strive to do better

    You never want to find yourself “settling for the lowest common denominator,” Instead, you should always be searching for a better way to do your work.

    3. Admit to your mistakes

    Regardless of your position at your company, it’s crucial to take ownership of your work — and your missteps. Don’t “make excuses for things when something’s gone off the rails,”

    4. Being reliable

    Reliability is a cornerstone of respect. When you say you’ll do something and follow through, people notice. And when you consistently show up and deliver, it’s a powerful way to earn respect.

    Read Also: Little habits that enhance annual cholera recurrence

    If you commit to something, make sure you do it. Whether it’s showing up on time for a meeting, completing a task by the deadline, or fulfilling a personal promise to a friend, make sure you follow through.

    5. Showing gratitude

    Gratitude is a simple yet powerful habit that can instantly make people respect you.

    It’s about acknowledging the good in your life and the efforts of others. By expressing gratitude, you show appreciation and respect for the people around you.

    But how to make it practical? Start with saying “thank you” more often. Whether it’s for a job well done, a kind gesture from a friend, or something as simple as someone holding the door open for you – acknowledge it.

    6. Respecting others

    A simple yet profound way to earn respect is by showing it to others. As the old adage goes, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

    Treating everyone with respect, regardless of their status or position, shows that you value all people equally. It’s a powerful way to earn respect because respect begets respect.

    Make it a habit to show genuine respect to everyone you interact with. Listen to their ideas, value their contributions, and treat them with kindness and courtesy.

    You’ll find that when you give respect freely, it often comes back to you tenfold.

    7. Keeping your promises

    Keeping your promises may seem like a basic concept, but it’s a habit that can significantly impact how much people respect you.

    When you make a promise, you’re giving your word, and following through on that word shows others that you’re trustworthy and dependable.

    The practical aspect of this is straightforward: if you say you’re going to do something, do it. If circumstances change and you can’t fulfill your promise, communicate this as soon as possible and make amends where necessary.

  • 10 ways to tell if a guy no longer fancies you

    10 ways to tell if a guy no longer fancies you

    When a guy who was once very attentive and affectionate suddenly backs off and creates distance between the two of you, it is only natural to wonder why. There are a lot of theories out there on how to tell if a guy is losing interest in you.

    Women are naturally wired to love by the things they hear and, this is why when a guy says nice things to a lady, depending on her emotional state of mind at the time, she can fall hopelessly in love with him. She then goes on to build fantasies with this said guy and the sparkles between them are very evident. Even when she sees the red flags, she ignores and pays no heed to it because her senses have been so blinded by what she feels for her man. Then, somewhere along the line, she observes that her man is no longer the man she knew him for. He no longer does the things he does for her or even spends as much time as he should with her. Her head tells her the guy has begun to withdraw from her but her heart tells her he’s probably awestruck by his love for her so he needs time to digest it.

    Here are the 10 ways to tell if a guy no longer fancies you:

    1. HE SLOWS DOWN ON KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH YOU.

    Men are wired naturally to be hunters. They go after what catches their fancy and, even after they’ve had it within their grip, they find it very very difficult to let go. Notice how he always comes up with excuses as to why he can’t keep in touch with you; lame stuff that you know doesn’t even make an atom of sense. From gradually slowing down on keeping in touch, he stops TOTALLY! At this point, you find yourself making efforts to reach him but, he’ll claim he had loads of stuff to do that has kept him away and, should you dare complain, you’ll automatically be tagged the nagging type. If a guy truly loves you and means to be with you, nothing will stop him from that.

    2. HE IGNORES YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

    A lot of people might not want to agree with this but, when a guy can completely ignore you on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram but you see him very active and commenting or reacting to other people’s posts, girl, you mean nothing more than a pinch of salt to him. And, should you take the bold step of trying to drop a comment on his page, you’ll get ignored as well. There’s nothing worse than being in the same space with someone yet, they act like you don’t exist.

    3. HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE SEEN CLOSE TO YOU BUT WILL GLADLY FLIRT WITH ANOTHER GIRL.

    This, right here, is self explanatory. When a guy truly loves you, he’ll do just about anything to prove to the world that he loves you and is proud to be associated with you. When he dreads having a conversation with you because he doesn’t want those around him to think you’re an item, that’s a huge red flag. Guys are naturally expressive; especially when it has to do with the woman they love so, if he’s not doing this for you, BACK OFF!

    4. HE IGNORES EVERY FIXED APPOINTMENT YOU BOTH HAVE AND HE HAS A LEGIT EXCUSE FOR IT.

    No man who truly loves a woman will stand her up and feel very comfortable with it. He will apologize for it and make up for it almost immediately. When you notice that your man stops keeping to appointments and/or meet-ups and you have to be the one to call to find out why he had to stand you up, you don’t need to be told that he doesn’t feel you anymore. Genuine love for your partner is like something great that you’re addicted to. No matter how hard you try, you can’t go a day without it. When a man truly means to be with you, every minute spent with you means a whole lot to him.

    5. HE BEGINS TO SEE YOU AS A BOTHER OR BEING OVERLY DEPENDENT ON HIM.

    Men love to feel like the men in da hood. They love to be in charge; not bossy and assertive per se. They love to care for and protect their women. They love to get things for their women; depending on what they can afford. When you start to observe that your man has slowed down in showing you affection like you used to and, when you try to double up affection on your own end so he doesn’t feel let down but, he still isn’t cool with it, then, you’ve stopped meaning that much to him. Each time you try to keep in touch through whatever means, he kicks against it and sees it as a bother.

    6. HE DEMANDS FOR SPACE.

    If you truly mean anything to your man, the last thing he’ll want to do is be away from you. Men love to keep close to themselves what they adore. When your man suddenly wakes up and asks for some sort of distance between you two, then, it’s pretty obvious that you’ve become as irritating to him as ever. When a guy needs “space”, he has stylishly broken up with you without your knowledge; except you’re smart enough to decode it.

    7. HE TREATS YOU VERY CASUALLY.

    You notice that all of a sudden, your man has begun to see you as a “hello, hi” kinda person and it doesn’t bother him one bit. You greet him, it’s a problem. You try to be all mushy and romantic like you’ve always been to him, he gives you this look that suggests you’re overstepping your boundaries. This is a clear indication that you both no longer operate on the same space cos, a lot of water has passed under the bridge.

    8. HE DOESN’T SUPPORT YOU 

    He is no longer interested in your dreams, aspirations, and needs. He doesn’t support you in your important decisions in both personal and professional life. Moreover, you may feel that you can no longer look up to him or trust him in planning your goals or celebrating your achievements.

    9. HE DOESN’T GO EXTRA MILE 

    If your partner does the bare minimum to keep things going between you two, it’s a red flag in your relationship. He doesn’t want to go the extra mile to make you feel special, spend time with you, or keep the relationship exciting. You may feel that the relationship has become one-sided.

    10. HE HAS STOPPED ASKING QUESTIONS

    When your partner asks you questions, it helps them understand and know you better—how things are at work and with friends and family or how you are dealing with a specific situation. When he stops asking questions, it may show that he is not interested in checking on you and would like to keep to himself.

  • Seven things not to do when meeting your partner’s parents for first time

    Seven things not to do when meeting your partner’s parents for first time

     It is a major step in the relationship and first impression can be a lasting impression, potentially a lot riding on it.

    How you ensure you don’t come off like some mannerless person during this first encounter is important.

    Here are seven things you should not do when meeting your partner’s parents for the first time

    1. Glued to your phone

    Avoid being on your phone, texting, checking your email or browsing social media. Your spouse’s parents might feel dismissed and think that you are not interested in getting to know them.

    2. Lie to make yourself look good

    Being fake instead of who you truly are is a mistake that will upset your partner’s parents. You’re also likely to be found out at some point and possibly when it could really hurt your relationship.

    If your partner has accepted the kind of person you are, then his/ her parents should be able to accept you too.

    3. Publicly display affection

    Although public displays of affection can be a wonderful thing, there is an appropriate time and place for it.

    This does not mean you have to become cold, distant and robotic, but it does mean you need to know the audience you are in front of.

    4. Spark controversial topics for discussion

    Bringing up controversial topics like religion, politics or sex is a no go area.

    Even if you definitely know that your beliefs are in line with your partner’s parents, some people still consider it to be in poor taste to bring it up.

    Better get to know them more before raising such topics.

    Read Also: Parents seek end to discrimination against persons with Down Syndrome, others

    5. Talk only about yourself

    Despite the fact that your partner’s parents are probably very interested in getting to know you, they also do not want to spend the entire time listening to your life story.

    Try to find a balance in the conversation by also asking them questions to show interest in getting to know them as well.

    6. Don’t pass the night

    No matter the persuasion, don’t pass the night in their house on your first day of visit.

    7. Being a know it all

    Even if you are an expert in a certain area, please keep it cool. Don’t let it seem like you know everything better than everyone else.

  • Five ‘red flags’ in a new relationship

    Five ‘red flags’ in a new relationship

    When starting a new relationship, there are things or actions one needs to carefully observe to know whether your partner is fully into you.

    Here are five red flags to note:

    Boring conversation

    It’s important to always have lively conversation. They should be your friends first in the talking stage. And the only way to achieve that can be from the frequent conversation When the conversations goes like “Hey” “How are you?” “Fine” “Have you eaten?” and you have nothing else to say. When conversations are boring, it’s a sign there is a huge lack of compatibility and commitment.

    Conversation shouldn’t always be about S3x

    The s3xual attraction between the two of you is important, but if that is the driving point of your interactions with each other, then you need to jump ship. If, on the first interaction, they are solely focused on having s3x with you, the most likely thing is that it’s only s3x they are interested in. Plus, introducing s3x so early might cloud your judgment; if the s3x is so good, you might ignore the other red flags.

    Read Also; PDP will bounce back – Atiku

    Describing ex as villain

    Everyone else is a villain in their story. When they talk about their exes or family and friends, is everyone else wrong and they are perfect? This is a sign that they lack emotional intelligence and evade responsibility. Be on the lookout for people who talk about how good they are; this is a form of emotional manipulation. Look at how they treat others, like drivers and waiters—are they always complaining?

    Indecisive

    Whenever they are indecisive. You don’t even know if they like you or not. Today they call you for hours, but you don’t hear from them for the next two days. You can tell them how you notice they are indecisive, if they don’t change but make a lot of excuses, just leave them alone

    Faking busy

    Even if they spend all their day saving lives, they should never be too busy for you. This is the stage where you both want to talk and get to know each other. If they don’t talk to you often and their excuse is that they are busy, just know they are not interested. We are on our phones almost all the time, and if he or she can’t pick up the phone to call or reply to your texts, call it a quit

  • Stop flinging away your stars/glory through ungodly s3x!

    Stop flinging away your stars/glory through ungodly s3x!

    Dear Mummy Temilolu,

    I just read your article about an 18 year old who’s bothered about not having a boyfriend and I must say your words and advice on the article are deep and amazing. I’m turning 23 next month and while my friends and loved ones are bothered about the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship and don’t have intentions to be in one until it is time, I’m only bothered about getting admission and focusing on building a better relationship with God. I’m not against people going into relationships if they feel they are ready but as long as I’m concerned,  it’s not one of my goals or values and so no matter the pressures I get, I won’t fall for it. I remember one saying that I might end up chasing all the men away until no one will be left for me not knowing all the men who takes interest in me just want to have s3x and I don’t want it. Moreover songs of Solomon spoke about “women not stiring love until the time is right” and I can say with all conviction that the time for me to love isn’t ripe, I have plans for myself, I know how much the Lord wants to use me, I know how much my generation and the next to come is depending on me to make right choices and I know how much investment my mentors and spiritual parents are pumping me with and just one small mistake could spoil it all so it’s better I don’t stir it at all.

    Thanks to your awesome posts ma’am, it helps me know I’m on the right track whenever I read them and it also makes me know that there are amazing mentors out there clapping and cheering us on not to drop the baton of purity and right living irrespective of how we may be tagged or dragged. God bless you for all you do ma.

    Ndifreke

    My precious Ndifreke,

    While congratulating you for your resolution, I must say you have missed absolutely nothing not engaging in s3x all the while! I can say that at least half of the world have been damaged and derailed by ungodly s3x such that even their sense of reasoning and mindset is warped! A lot of girls are unfortunately finished even before they’re 21, having the devil take over the reins of their life and drive them to trouble, confusion and slavery! I thank God for your stand and pray for you with all my heart that God’ll give you speed to catch up with and even overtake those who have long gone ahead of you in Jesus mighty name! I love you my sweet!

    Read Also: Why I rejected s3xy movie roles – Actress Bimbo Ademoye

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    I’d like to ask – if a good number of men took a piece of you, what would be left of you to shine in life? Believe it or not, there’s always an addition and subtraction during every intercourse! Let the truth be told, you may also take it or leave it, the more you engage in s3x outside marriage, the more you disintegrate your “original” and fragment yourself! Yes! You can’t imagine what goes into your life from multiple s3xual partners your present partner has slept with and in particular WHAT GOES OUT OF YOUR LIFE during and after every intercourse! The transaction during s3xual intercourse could be life-altering and life-transforming! It could break you into pieces and destroy your entire existence. Of course, it could also add to you positively! S3xual Intercourse is spiritual exchange, spiritual union – (1 Cor.6: 16) THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS MATTER!

    Hmm….may you not wake up completely emptied of what should make you shine in life by the time you are 21! Please be patient! Wait, wait, wait till your wedding night! You don’t want to know, least of all experience the horror some of your mother’s mates are going through as a result of ungodly s3x with multiple partners! It’s crazy- just like setting your destiny ablaze!!! May God empower you to wait till your wedding night and give you a GREATER VERSION OF YOUR DREAM MAN IN JESUS NAME! PLEASE COOPERATE!!!

    •I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowotemilolu

  • Virginity till marriage is a mega deal

    Virginity till marriage is a mega deal

    Dear Ma,

    I weep writing this because I know God is all out for me. This would be the first time I’m coming across your post and I’m broken already, it’s not easy staying chaste in today’s world! Is it the insults from one’s age mates and even juniors, the downgrading, gossiping. I’ve lost so many people I called friends because I’m a virgin however, I DON’T REGRET MY DECISION. It’s just not everyday virgins get the encouragement they need. I pray that every girl out there who’s getting discouraged comes across you or someone God sent like you so they look back form the plough. God bless you so much ma for reaching out to my generation. I weep when I look at how much the devil has captured my gender but people like you make the devil weep and I pray that whenever we shall hear from you it shall be good news always. Wherever the devil and his cohorts will mention your name and that of your family may the Rock of Ages represent you. I pray that every of your work to depopulate hell will be successful in Jesus name. May you never work in vain in the name of Jesus and after all these YOU WILL NOT BE A CAST AWAY AMEN. Never relent ma and never get tired, Jesus will always meet you at the point of your needs and don’t worry when men are not available to help, he will send the ravens to deliver.  We love you ma and I’ll be praying my small prayer for you from my end.

    Bethel Osemudiahmen

    Dear ma,

    Thank you for raising more powerful women for God. Through your content, I have been inspired and it has helped my sexual purity journey. I am a testimony. Ever since I decided to remain chaste, my business has really been moving, I don’t struggle to get clients or make sales. God has been giving me direction concerning my life and I am more closer to God now. I felt inner peace.

    Though I am not in any intimate relationship, I have decided to love God, do his will, make more money and impact lives. I will be 24 this September, still a virgin and I am really proud of this sexual purity journey. I just want to encourage the younger women that sexual purity is the best decision you can ever make for yourself. Stay pure, serve God and pursue your goals. At the right time, the right man will come. Thank you so much ma. This is my testimony. Please keep reminding us ma. We love you so much!

    Mary Owolabi

    Dear Mummy Temilolu,

    I really want to appreciate God in your life ma. I want you to share my little testimony. I have learnt many things from your articles and I must say you are truly a mother. It’s good to stay loyal and faithful to God irrespective of the tribulations and persecutions around. God never fails. Never sleep on the bed of immorality as a young girl because the consequences is greater than it’s enjoyment. To the glory, grace and mercy of God I will clock 22 on the 22nd of this month without having any boyfriend from the beginning and celebrating God’s faithfulness as a virgin. I will also be signing out of the university in few months time and I never had any relationship in school throughout my 5yrs in the school. Mummy keep asking for more grace over my life as your teaching has moulded my life. May God increase your wisdom and understanding mummy.

    Opeyemi E.

    Dear Mummy Temilolu,

    I have abstained from sex for almost two years now. And I must confess these are the best years of my life. God gave me a man after his own heart that loves me unconditionally. We have dated for almost two years without him even asking to see any part of my body.  He supports me with his resources  and loves me in ways I have never been loved all my life. God has blessed me in more ways than I can explain since I decided to keep myself.

    Ada

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    I thought to share a few of the messages in my box! Don’t let the world fool you, don’t let some finished people who love to wallow in darkness and great servitude because they can’t help it- who can’t imagine you not joining them in that abyss finish you! Yes! This may sound harsh but how else can you exemplify those who’ll attack posts on virginity/righteous living and outright mock virgins to their faces? How can you think anything good of giving up your peace of mind, your stand before God, opening up your life to demonic invasion by people you can wake up tomorrow and wish you never met when you stand the chance to having the world at your feet and commanding life to your wish? Haaaaa…..may we not be unfortunate! There’s so much more to come on this!

    To be continued

    I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @ Okeowotemilolu

  • Girls, don’t let the world damage you- virginity doesn’t end at age 18-20!

    Girls, don’t let the world damage you- virginity doesn’t end at age 18-20!

    Dear Mummy Temilolu,

    I’ve been following your articles for some time now and every one of it encourages me to remain chaste until marriage! Your advice has been helping me so dearly, I can remember many times when I want to have a second thought about keeping myself but my senses gets back to normal whenever I come across your advice. You’ve played a motherly role in my life and I’m so grateful. May God bless and keep you for me!

    I’m 18years old and something has been bothering me since I knew myself! When I was around 6-9 years(can’t really remember the exact age), I was sexually abused by my father’s servant then, he was a teenager. He would  come to sleep with me. Then, I never knew what he was doing as I didn’t know anything about sex. I didn’t even find it necessary to tell anyone, I was just allowing him have his way. But I can still remember that I never saw anything like blood whenever he got into the act. I don’t know if he was having the sex in the right way because he was young then and probably did not know how to do it but in every of this I never saw anything like blood and it makes me more confused as to if I’m still a virgin or not.

    When I started growing into fully knowing myself, I hated me. I started regretting why such thing ever happened. I wished I was able to speak up, I wished my dad never had servants, I wished I was conscious of what I was doing then and I always wished then was now. I always cry whenever I remember such scenario because deep down I wanted to be pure from birth, I wanted to make sure that no one has ever touched me, like no one. But right now ma’am, I don’t know if my virginity is still intact, I’ve said that I will go for virginity test when I will have to. I haven’t told anyone not even my parents are aware of this till now, I promised to keep it to myself but I was persuaded to talk to you about it. Since my childhood experience, I promised never to get involved in premarital sex and I haven’t engaged in it up till now! I’ve been keeping myself and I will continue keeping myself, I want to remain chaste but I’m only sad about my childhood experience ma’am.

    Also, people tell me that it’s because I’m still young that’s why I’m still remaining chaste, that it will get to a stage where the urge is much and I will get tired and give in, that they always believe that virginity ends at 18-20 years. I always oppose their opinions and tell them how false it is but they keep on telling me that I’m just saying it because I’m yet to grow older to understand what they are saying. What do you think ma? Because sometimes I try to reason with them but later on I will refuse to be deceived, it’s giving me a double thought. In all of this, I remain chaste and God has been helping me. I actually have alot more to talk to you about, I really need your advice in other areas of my life, but first you have to reply to this one.

    Joy A.

    My darling Joy,

    Why are you grieving over a past that has gone with the wind and allowing the devil oppress you for what you no nothing about? Why in the world would you go for a virginity test? I doubt the guy slept with you because at such a young age, you’d have felt so much pain and seen a a lot of blood except you weren’t born with a hymen. Even then your body would have reacted with a lot of pain. I take it that you’re still a virgin and most of all I believe God sees you as one! Please face your fantastic future and stay chaste till marriage! May God empower you in Jesus name!

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    I pray for you with all my heart that you will not miss the wonderful rewards that’ll fall on the laps of the sexually-pure on a platter of gold this year in Jesus mighty name! I have so much to share with you that’ll change your mind set and believe me transform your lives forever this year. However, to start with, I’d like to let you know that you should mind the type of counsels you take and the sort of people who influence you! The world gets worse by the day and i tell you if you start engaging in sex by 18, I can assure you, you’ll turn to “nonsense” before you’re 21! I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! Please stay tuned!

    To be continued

    •I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @Okeowotemilolu

  • How singles can enjoy Valentine’s Day

    How singles can enjoy Valentine’s Day

    It is Valentine‘s season again and we are going to be bamboozled by couples displaying their loved-up photos and ‘Peppering’ the singles as usual.

    We are also about to hear the famous Kabusa Oriental Choir trying to torture singles with their ‘ Valentine is coming, where is your boyfriend” song.

    Well, to ensure an even representation, Singles should ensure that they do the following:

    1. Babysit for couples for a service fee.

    Children can be a huge distraction when a couple decides to have time for themselves.
    You can usefully apply yourself by choosing to help the ”set awon couples” by volunteering to help them babysit while they go out. This should not be done without a service fee, preferably cash because of the scarcity now. At least the time you would have used to admire their pictures will be `judiciously utilized.

    1. Send/gifts money to your crush

    Who knows, you might be sowing a seed for the next Valentine. Send money or buy gifts for whoever you are crushing on. You must not state your intentions but let them feel special and loved, give them a hint of what your intentions are for them.

    1. Hang out with your fellow singles

    Iron sharpeneth iron, they say. You are less likely to feel the heat of Valentine’s shenanigans if you are with people of the same status as yourself. Play a game together, have a discussion, see a movie or just hang out.

    Read Also : Valentine items to get for your male partner

    1. Listen to Johnny Drille’s’ Val song ‘You’re just single’

    The sonorous singer encourages singles to be happy while referencing Jesus whom he said never had a Val. Johnny Drille said one should be satisfied with one’s state of singleness as it is not a crime. You can put it on auto repeat to affirm to yourself that it is okay to be lonely.

    1. Buy flowers, gift cards and hampers for yourself.

    Intentionally refuse to feel left out on gifts. Ensure to write love notes to yourself because self love is the greatest form of love. ‘Happy Valentine to myself. I love me so much. I mean the world to me”

    1. Spend time with family.

    Family is also love, in fact family is first love. So whenever you are with your parents or siblings, let it be as unto love for you.

  • Virgins can enjoy the best s3x in marriage!

    Virgins can enjoy the best s3x in marriage!

    Dear Madam Temilolu,

    Thanks for your articles advice ma’am however, I’m confused as there is this book I was reading sometime ago. It is all about s3x and the book stated that it’s good to know about sex and see it as enjoyment not as a problem or something that will make you not to go to heaven. In fact it says if you’re not having s3x, your hormones will be lacking some things. So my question is which one is better, knowing how to s3x your husband because if you don’t satisfy him it will be a problem or keeping your virginity because of Christ?

    Cynthia

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,

    I’m 23 and still a virgin. Sometimes, I feel stupid because I’ve come across guys in church who say they don’t like virgins or can’t marry one and this can be very discouraging and I feel left out especially when I meet clean, cute, hardworking guys that can take care of me and my parents/relatives who can’t be bothered about my well-being. Let’s be realistic, those who enjoy premarital s3x end up with better men and better marriages than the chaste!

    Bisola

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    How can you be a rare gem and complain about what a perverted world think? IF YOU GIRLS KNEW WHAT GUYS REALLY THINK ABOUT SEXUALLY-ACTIVE GIRLS AND WHERE THEY PLACE THEM IN THEIR LIVES, YOU’LL COWER IN SHAME! In fact, time has proven a lot of guys would go around sowing their wild oats sweeping off the feet of every available girl; lay her then end up marrying a virgin! What in the world happened to your common sense and dignity girls? THE PRESERVATION OF YOUR VIRGINITY IS IN YOUR SOLE INTEREST!” I can’t believe anyone would ask me if it’s better to learn the art of sex before marriage in order to satisfy her husband or remain pure because of what the scripture says! Lord have mercy!!!

    I should also ask you which you’d rather go for- A FAIRLY-USED CAR OR BRAND NEW CAR? Even a very bad or crazy man in his lucid intervals would treasure a wife he deflowered and she would earn his respect and trust for life. Also, do you know a chaste lady has the power to attract a damn good man- even if she’s once been sexually-active and then surrendered to God? People say “bad girls” end up with good men and in good marriages. This could be true because they have “na ‘gbara, na “gboro” i.e. that is they’ve sampled and been sampled by diverse type of men so they have an idea the good and bad ones or the type of men they could subdue to their whims and caprices. But guess what? They have laid a bad foundation that opens up their marriage to satanic attack also, they may be insatiable in bed! Also, he man may be good but not their original spouse!

    How can 2 soul-mates paired up by God not be able to satisfy themselves sexually? Do you know the fact that your husband/wife is a virgin is a great turn on for you in the first place? In a world where 14-year-olds are engaging in sex like it’s an indoor game, a lady who keeps herself till her 20’s or 30’s is made of the rarest type of gem! Because God is not only at the centre but the chief controller of an undefiled marriage bed, you are both controlled by Him. He’s in fact the Chief Commander of your emotions and the way your bodies respond to each other and because He controls your minds (that is if you allow Him); the slightest touch from either of you just sends you to cloud 81! It sparks off celestial fire! Because you allowed God to fine-tune you in the supernatural, being in subjection to Him and your divine partner (not necessarily the one your pastor recommended) locating you, a mere thought of each other turns you on and you want to run home from work and be with no other person than your spouse, your greatest treasure, your goldmine and honey pot! I insist there’s something in an unpolluted destiny that naturally magnetizes his/her divine partner! YOU TREMBLE WITH PASSION AT EACH OTHER’S PRESENCE! YOU WANT TO EXPLORE WHAT NO ONE HAS EVER HAD ACCESS TO! DO YOU GET IT?

    Girls…girls…girls, why do you like dulling yourselves? Why are you so impatient? Why can’t you lay a solid, consecrated foundation for a beautiful future in the first 25 years of your life? Life would be a lot easier to coast through and enjoy optimally! May the fire of God hit you where ever you are and arrest your hearts in Jesus mighty name!