By Taiwo Akinola
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes ~ Songs of Solomon 1:15.
Introduction:
The Bible is a perfect manual for marital success. It casts a vision of God’s out-of-this-world design for marital intimacy, and it challenges couples not to settle for an ordinary relationship but for a fulfilling and kingdom-focused marriage.
Marriage is ordained and instituted by God Himself in Paradise, and it is articulated in the Bible as a lifelong union between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24). It is a solemn covenant union between husband and wife under the watchful eye of the Almighty God.
The Lord Jesus Christ signified the institution of marriage by performing the first of His recorded miracles at a marriage ceremony in Cana of Galilee (John 2:1-11). He described marriage as a relationship so intimate that “the two become one flesh”, and He emphasized unequivocally that marriage is a God-made and lifelong institution (Matthew 19:4–6).
However, in the gospel, the position of Jesus Christ also shows that marriage is not an end in itself. We did not come to the earth just to marry, procreate and die, but rather to fulfill the Ultimate Purpose of glorifying God by demonstrating His love to the world. And, if destiny is all about God’s purpose for your life, then it is reasonable to seek ways of validating it from God’s Word, the Bible.
Imperatives for Enjoying a Marital Relationship
Marriage can be a happy and beautiful venture only when certain critical success factors are well-considered and factored into its structure. In particular, homes can be quite godly and yet very happy where necessary Bible ingredients are cherished as imperatives within their walls.
Firstly, it is very important to constantly assess the foundation upon which you are building your marriage and to effect necessary repairs where applicable. Marriage is as strong as the basis on which it is founded; its stability and durability depend on the depth and the strength of its base.
A marriage built on a solid and deep foundation will not only survive but also thrive amid terrible storms of life (Matthew 7:24-25). On the contrary, anything built on a faulty foundation risks an ultimate collapse. And, without fear of overemphasis, anything including marriage, built on a faulty foundation only awaits a collapse, unless some pragmatic steps are taken.
It should be emphasized that the choice of a spouse is a paramount factor in marital success. In fact, the single most dangerous mistake anyone can make in life is in relation to the choice of marital partner.
A marriage union tends to be happy only when a good man marries a good woman, but that happens when the right choice is made and deliberate efforts are put in place to build up the union. Nothing compares with the will of God in marriage.
Unfortunately, today, there are many couples who seem to be in perpetual emotional pain because their marriages are contracted on faulty foundations and plagued with gross ignorance as to how to tackle the mess in which they have found themselves.
For the avoidance of doubt, marital relationships that will be enjoyed must be built on Christ and God’s principles (1 Corinthians 3:11).
From the marriage standards that God set in Eden, we can deduce that God’s presence in a marital relationship is primary to the success of the holy union.
The word “Eden” is a Hebrew word, which means “where God dwells”. Thus, the first thing God gave man was “His Presence”, and hence, the first thing a man needs is not a woman, it is the presence of God. A woman should delight in meeting her spouse in the presence of God or allow the man to remain alone.
No matter what you put into your marriage, if the foundation is faulty, that marriage may not last (Psalm 11:3). However, when a marriage with faulty foundations is genuinely submitted to the righteousness of Christ, the couple is no longer helpless, because there is nothing too hard for God (Jeremiah 32:17).
Moreover, whenever repair needs are identified in our homes, we must allow the Divine Axe to go right down to the roots and uproot unprofitable plantations.
Secondly, couples that hope to enjoy their marital union in glorious togetherness must cultivate the attributes of genuine love one for another and determine to keep their marital vows and covenants till death.
Once married, couples often neglect the area of developing their love for each other as it was before their wedding day, particularly after life’s purposes are discovered, career paths are developed and the kids are grown.
Yes indeed, only a few things in life can compare with the ecstasy of true love. The flame of it keeps the hearts warm and supplies the chemical that makes us feel really good. However, continuing to develop that love after the wedding day is a challenge we all must accept.
Continuing a dating life is very important to the success and happiness of every marital union. It may require some tools and some strategic planning for couples, but it is still very vital that we maintain secure and intimate relationships in our marriages and homes.
Even in the older marital unions, strategic tools are very useful for couples that truly desire to continue developing their loving relationships one for another. Continue respecting and honoring each other, passionately. Make important decisions together. Make time for total communication. Resolve and not report crisis quickly. Relax in your home and laugh together. And, most importantly, pray, read the Bible and worship God together.
Thirdly, loving God fervently and serving Him faithfully together is a major imperative for couples that dream of a glorious and joyful togetherness under the watchful eyes of God.
Before you ever had a love for each other as a couple, God had sketched out your lives and what He certainly expects or longs for in your life (Jeremiah 29:11). Yes, God fashioned your destiny before you were born (Psalm 139:16).
As pointed out earlier, marriage should not be seen as an end in itself. The goals in marriage go beyond the nuptial flights and the pleasure. In other words, we did not come to the earth just to marry, procreate and die, but rather to fulfill God’s Ultimate Purpose.
The primary purpose of the marital union is to glorify God. In togetherness, every couple ought to glorify God and pursue His purposes in the holy union to fulfill destiny. And, this is best served by loving God and demonstrating His love to the world.
Friends and brethren, in conclusion, start with where you are today, allowing God’s grand plan to steer your marriage. Dream up things that would add joy and a sense of accomplishment to your spouse. Make room for changes in your attitudes where necessary, and seriously commit your destiny to the beauty of glorifying God in your home.
Love is a decision to make. Loving God, serving and glorifying Him, and loving each other ardently are quality decisions we must never defer. May God’s blessings be upon your marriage and home, in Jesus’ Name. Amen. Happy Sunday!
Bishop Taiwo Akinola is the Presiding Bishop of Rhema Christian Church and Towers, Sango Otta, Ogun State, Nigeria.
