Do you know how to ‘worship’ a woman?

By Vera CHIDI-MAHA

NO, it is not blasphemy of any sort. It is just a line from a movie I recently watched on Africa Magic. It was said by Rita Dominic who acted the role of Ireti in the movie. I cannot easily recall the title of the movie, but the protagonists in the film were veteran actors like Olu Jacobs and Ramsey Noah who featured as the love-sick husband of Ireti; Ramsey Noah who acted the randy lover boy and, of course, Iretiola (Rita Dominic), who was the lady and wife at the centre of it all.

Iretiola was a rich housewife who had a doting husband who would give her the moon if she asked for it. Her husband called her his moonbeam’. He loved her in every sense of the word, but sometimes love might just not be enough. He bought her everything money could buy.

He employed maids, a driver and a cook who were all at her beck and call. Ironically, however, Ireti, unlike the typical woman, was fulfilled as a woman. She was very content, staying home all day and looking pretty and desirable to her husband. Out of the blues, her husband suddenly needed an inspiration to write a book, so he asked her to go out to ‘explore’ the world; come back with stories that would help him write his book.

After much persuasion from her husband, Iretiola reluctantly enrolled in a dancing class for lessons. Her man further pushed her to try and get the young and handsome dancing instructors attention, get him to make love overtures towards her and she will in turn bring him back the stories for his book.

Crazy requests, wouldn’t you say? Anyway, Iretiola, considering the fact that her man would do anything for her man did not say ‘no’ to her man’s request on the contrary she did as she was told. She seduced the poor unsuspecting instructor and brought home stories for her man. At some point, however, she began to fall for the guy. As a matter of fact they began to respond to the sudden chemistry that suddenly erupted between them. The consequences of these feelings they had for each other made her open up to the instructor, told him she was in fact married, she told him everything. After he recovered from the initial shock of falling in love with a married woman, things got out of hand. They both eloped. In all this, her poor, old and doting husband realised his mistake of sending out a hitherto content wife to the wolves. He sent threat letters trying to stop the happy-go lucky, younger lover to steer clear from his wife. It did not work; he employed the services of private investigators who could not track them down as they were already out of the country.

He became very ill, he was love-sick, he could not bear the thought of living without his ‘moonbeam’. He tore up the almost finished book that he title ‘Loin in love’, he set the book ablaze blaming the concept of the book as the cause of his loss and misfortune. At the other side of the storyline, Iretiola had gotten over her initial sense of adventure and what and what she though was love for the younger man. She knew something huge was missing. She knew that compared to her husband, her new man was no match at all. Of course he was financially stable; but that was not it. All they did was make love and then he would leave her to do his personal businesses like jogging in the mornings, making business calls and so on.

Ireti, thereafter, came to her senses. She made up her mind to go back to her man who loved, adored and even ‘worshipped’ the ground she walked on. So, with her things packed, one beautiful morning, just as lover boy was about to leave their makeshift home; she threw the question that had been burning on her mind to him ‘do you know how to worship a woman’. The man was so shocked all he could mutter was ‘worship’? After answering him right back in the affirmative she continued; yes, worship. My husband worships me. Naturally, her boyfriend tried to convince her that he could be better but pleaded for time to acclamatise to their new environment so that he could give her all the attention she required. For her, it was too late. She subsequently went back home to her husband. The scene of her comeback was so emotional that tears welled up in my eyes. Ireti’s husband was planning a vacation, according to his doctor’s instructions just to get over his wife and recover from the shock as it was affecting his health. It was at the point of his departure that he heard the knock on his gate. Ireti, his runaway wife, was back. Her first words to him were ‘curse me’ send me away’ I do not deserve your love; I have failed you’. Can you guess her husband’s response? I’m sure you can’t. He said ‘my moonbeam’ with his arms outstretched towards her; how can I send you away’ when I am the one that bla bla bla. I beg I don’t remember his exact words, but they both had tears screaming down their faces; even their maids, cook and driver were all in tears. I am sure you now understand why the tears also found their way to my face as well.

Truth is: you can’t make another person feel more than what they already feel because their hearts and emotions are their own. That being said, it is possible to intrigue a man more and this can have positive effects on his behaviour. To get our men to treat us like goddesses can really happen when we try these tips; our men cannot help but worship us.

Respect the partnership

You have committed yourself to each other. Therefore a woman must remember that fact when taking a major decision. Give your man due respect as your other half and you are giving him a fine example that you deserve due respect, too.

 Work together as a team

You must work together as a team but you also need to maintain individuality. You need to give each other some personal space to grow. You have to give him some freedom to be with his friends as he should give you yours. Let yourself be the person he has grown to love, only better each day.

Know what he needs and wants

Indulge him sometimes, adjust to what he likes. Exert some effort to give him things that make him happy. Provide him with little pleasures. He will adore you for understanding his needs. His needs to be with his friends, his needs to be alone, sometimes, his needs to be with you.

But never be a pushover

Be pleasant and pleasing but don’t try too hard to please. Giving him what he wants does not mean having to give up what you want. Men don’t worship women who can’t assert themselves.

Take care of yourself.

Pay attention to your health

Be fit. Indulge yourself every once in a while. You can’t really expect him to worship someone who looks like slop, can you? Or admire someone who doesn’t-who doesn’t even make an effort to look good. But don’t be too vain or artificial either; he might not like it.

And take care of him. Be his friend. Be there for him all the time and also earn his respect and admiration along the way. Be the one person he would choose to be with if he’s stuck on a scheduled. Be friends with his friends. Wear lingerie. Give him an unsolicited backrub after sex. Love his family and show him. Tell him how to kiss you. Worry about him. Talk serious stuff like the news. Kiss his shoulders while sleeping. Call him out if he is slacking off romance. Love him

Strike a balance

If you can strike a good balance and know when to speak or be silent, when to hold his hand or let him be alone, when to be sensual or be a sensual friend; then he will do more than worship you.

He will treasure you.