Ireti Akinola is a counsellor and inspiration for women using her personal experiences to motivate others for leadership and empowerment. She is also the wife of the presiding Bishop of the Rhema Christian Church and Towers, Ota, Ogun State. In this encounter with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about the challenges facing families today, teenage suicide, marital challenges and inspiring other through the Women Aglow initiative.
LET’S talk about the 2019 Women’s Conference that is on-going. What is the focus this year?
The theme for the Women Aglow International Convention is “The Glorious Christian Woman.” The focus is to make women realise God’s purpose for them; and to make women to focus on the right things. I discovered that these days in the society and actually in the church community in Nigeria and outside the country, the church seems to be distracted. In Ephesians 3, the Bible tells us that Jesus Christ is coming back for a glorious church, a church without wrinkle. So, that is where the theme of the convention comes from. So, we want a paradigm shift, whereby the women would be able to focus on the right thing. In the church today, you see that there is a lot of carnality and materialism. Many people see the church as a social gathering, a place to meet with your friends. A place to do business and all those kind of things. Whereas all those things are good because businesses should go on well, people should socialise but that is not the main focus of the church. That is not why Jesus Christ died. He saved us so that we can reign with Him in glory. When He was going, He said, ‘I am going to prepare a place for you, that where I am, you may be there also’. But if Jesus has gone to prepare a place, are we preparing ourselves for that place? So, we want our women in this church and other women that we have invited from outside to refocus. This morning, we had a walk just to bring people together, to see what we are supposed to be as Christians; so that we can be who God wants us to be. So that our lives can reflect the kind of people that He wants us to be.
What do you think is responsible for the carnality and all that is going on now?
I think it is just the spirit of the age; we are in the end time. The Bible tells us that in the end time, the love of many shall wax cold. People would become lovers of themselves and all those kinds of things. So, the church is entering into the world and the world is entering into the church. I gave my life to God when I was very tender. I was actually in secondary school then in November 1976. The type of Christianity that we have now is not what we had then. Then, if you see someone in church, especially the gospel churches, you know that this person wants to know God; that the person wants to serve God. Or that the person wants his or her life to count for God. But because we are in the end time, the devil has sent out so many evil spirits into the world, distracting people and making them to focus on non-essentials. Not to consider the things that really matter. That is what I think is responsible.
Still talking about the trend, one thing that is scary now is suicide. A lot of young people are taking their lives. What do you think about this?
Most of them may be dissatisfied. They believe they should have gone further than this. Young people want to get rich, they see their age mates riding in very big cars and they also want it. They are unable to get it and they feel why am I still here, why not just end it? It is because people are dissatisfied; there is no contentment with what they have. They feel they are not where they should be and they feel that maybe they would not be able to meet up with the others. So, the spirit of shame possesses them. It makes them to want to end it. So, that is it.
Apart from suicide, there is drug abuse, yahoo boys and so many other vices. What advice do you have for young people?
They should be contented. The Bible says ‘Godliness with contentment is great gain.’ They should be contented with what they have, where they are, because we know that the government may not be doing enough for the youths. I know that as an undergraduate, what life was for us is not what life is for our youths now. They are not enjoying. When my third child was in UNILAG, I went there and I was amazed when I saw the condition of the hostel. Yet, UNILAG is one of the best in Nigeria that the government is able to offer. So, they are really frustrated about what the government is able to offer them.
They don’t know that as the youths are not satisfied, so the adults are not satisfied. I think that they should be contented. They should know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. They should tie their lives to the government but look up to God. If they look up to God, there is nothing that God cannot do.
There is no place that they aspire to that God cannot take them to because God has them in mind. He said, ‘I know the thoughts that I think towards you, they are thoughts of good and not of evil; to take you to an expected end.’ If they would just be patient, if they would just be contented and have faith in God that He is able to do it.
A school of thought says that women are responsible for the problems that we are seeing now. Instead of taking care of the home front, they now run after careers and businesses. What do you think about this?
Well, it may be part of the reasons. I don’t think it is the whole truth because even some of the people committing suicide are not all young. Some of them, like the woman who we learnt jumped into the Lagoon was not a young woman. We cannot say that it is totally because the women are not at home. The truth is that the men are not at home. Nobody gives attention to the children. The people that most people leave their children with are mostly themselves not well brought up. They are the ones that are helping us to bring up children. So, many of the children do not have direction. Some of them feel rejected because the parents are comparing them with others. This is one of the things that cause discontentment. Everybody has his or her own time; we cannot all be the same. God that created the fingers did not create them equal. Everybody cannot be the same, so the youths should know that they are individuals before God. Even if the parents fail, the youths should decide not to fail themselves. Women should also create time because the Bible says women should be keepers at home. Monday to Friday they go after career and on Saturdays, it is partying.
Housemaids have also proved to be dangerous at this point. Is it important for a woman to take a maid?
Well, I know that it is not easy to take care of the home, especially if you are a career woman. In those days, I know that when I was a child my mother did not need to take a maid. The reason was because of the type of life that they lived. Each person watched the other person’s back. You could see an old woman around, who you could drop the child with. But you cannot do that anymore. Even when the old women retire, instead of staying at home, they are still running after money in old age. There are entrepreneurs everywhere; going back to the same materialism. It has grown deep into the society.
What did you achieve from previous conferences?
I thank God for our conventions. The first one we had was in 1993 and since then, every year, we have been having it. I see that with it, God is helping the women to see themselves as God-send. Here, our women are not back benchers, the don’t see themselves as second class citizens. Many of them stay ahead, not usurping men’s authority but staying ahead, staying for God and serving God. In 2003, we planted a church and in 2007 we planted two churches. So, shining the light of Christ in the hinterland and in some of these churches we put the women there to pastor the churches. So, they are growing their spiritual muscles and they are strengthened. We also do empowerment for them and for those who don’t have jobs, we would raise money to trade. We also organise entrepreneurial training for them so that they can have something doing and not just wait for the money that is not enough for the family.
What has been the feedback from the women leading churches?
They are doing wonderfully well. We have not been using young women who are raising families because ministry work needs a lot of time. We used women who have stopped having babies; maybe the last child is already entering university. They are committed, they are dedicated; people believe and trust them. Even now when you see that there are some fake pastors all around, it is difficult to see a woman amongst them. Most of those people you see misbehaving in the name of being pastors are not women.
Let’s talk about the women in the ministry that you admire
Actually, there is just one; Pastor Mrs Folu Adeboye. There used to be Mrs Abiodun Kumuyi, they were dedicated and were sold out to Christ. That does not mean that those are the two women I see doing wonderfully well. These are the two whose work I see and know. Like Mrs Abiodun Kumuyi, till she died, I didn’t hear that she derailed and she made impact in the world.
You always organise cooking competition for women and girls. How has this helped them?
A lot of them have learnt a lot and as they are doing it, we are also watching and learning from it. We have different groups that the women are grouped into. We have seven different groups representing the women in the competition and each group would do something different, with the same ingredients.
These days, there are a lot of problems within the family, how have you been able to counsel and mentor your women?
I try to tell the women when we meet. I share my experience and have person-to-person counselling. The most important thing is that they are meant to be helps to their husbands; they are supposed to be homemakers with whatever you have. I always tell them about my experience when the ministry started. My husband and I were working, using our money to build the ministry. At the same time, we had to raise our children but the resources were little. We, however, managed the little things we had then.
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