Women must not sacrifice themselves at the altar of marriage. When a relationship has gone toxic, they must have the courage to walk out before it is too late – Anonymous
The sad news of the passing of Osinachi Nwanchukwu, the gospel minister, famously known for her song, Ekwueme, was greeted with a with a mixed bag of overwhelming reactions from her fans, the Christian fold and well-meaning Nigerians.
Significantly, this was due to the circumstances surrounding her death. It was indeed a rude shock to discover the level of abuse she was allegedly subjected to in her toxic relationship with her husband, Peter Nwanchukwu, said to be a minister also in the church.
That a woman with such pedigree in the society could silently go through that spate of violent abuse at the hand of her husband, without seeking for help was an absurdity.
How do you explain such? To some, she wanted to protect her career/ministry as a gospel artiste.
To others, she was afraid of the stigma that comes with being a divorcee in a society that has no respect for women in such situation.
Therefore, in order to avoid the scandal that comes with a high profile marital breakup, she was probably compelled to endure the abuse in a bid to keep up the image and uphold her position as a model of a good wife and a minister of the gospel.
Some have also insinuated that she might have been afraid of the backlash that will follow if she decided to consider a divorce.
Ultimately, it was indeed a needless death as she could have reached out for help or walked out of the toxic relationship and still be alive to take care of her children and fulfill her destiny.
This calls for a sober reflection within the church and the society. The perception by the society that a woman who is not married or divorced is irresponsible should be discouraged and renounced.
According to the United Nations (UN) Women, “In majority of the countries with available data on the issue, among women who do seek help most look to family and friends and few look to formal institutions such as police and health services”.
Therefore, it becomes imperative for families to give support and encourage victims to seek professional help and legal intervention when needed.
The church and religious organisations must also encourage women going through domestic abuse to speak out and help them seek legal aid, especially in a case where there is a threat to life.
Where counseling fails, religious institutions should also encourage victims to take the critical step and get the needed professional help and legal assistance from government and formal institutions set up to address such.
The life and welfare of the victim must be prioritized over the marriage. A marriage ceases to exist when either of the spouses is dead. It is better to leave than to die in a marriage.
According to research, 48% of Nigerian women have experienced physical violence in one way or the other. This is a significant number in a country of almost 200 million people where more than half are women. This has serious implication for the marriage institution, the children who are most vulnerable and the society.
This is why the Babajide Sanwo-Olu administration has been providing succour to thousands of victims of domestic violence via the Domestic Sexual and Violence Response Team (DSVRT).
The team is a group of service providers and officials that respond to the various needs of domestic and sexual violence survivors by providing legal, medical, emergency assistance, counseling, psychological, and psychosocial support. It has 12 Sexual Assault Reference Centers spread across the state.
Aware of the reluctance of victims to seek help for lack of financial independence, the DSVRT also has facilities to empower victims who are economically and financially disadvantaged and temporary shelter for those who are in dire situations where their lives are under serious threats.
The Ministries of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation as well as Youth and Social Development are also involved in the efforts to tackle incidences of domestic violence by empowering women with the will and capacity to survive.
Essentially, there are different programmes to deal with the incidence of domestic violence in the state. The ministries, which had successfully intervened in over 500 cases of domestic violence of late, have equally organized various enlightenment programmes as well as the rehabilitation and integration of survivors.
The Lagos State Employment Fund [LSETF] is also not left out, as it has empowered many women through the W-Initiative (Women Initiative). The government has also strengthened alliance with 200 representatives from various women-focused NGOs in the state, as part of efforts to alleviate the economic plight of women residents in the state.
All these are meant to ameliorate the sufferings of survivors of domestic violence, the vulnerable, families and ultimately eradicate the incidences of domestic violence in the state. The Office of the First Lady is equally involved in the programmes and plans to frontally combat domestic violence in Lagos State.
It needs to be stressed that an initiative tagged, “The 21st Century Boy- Child; Creating a Vision of Transformation”, was launched by the government to ensure that the issue of domestic violence is holistically addressed. This is because a marriage is made up of a male and a female and if any meaningful success must be attained, the two individuals must be given equal attention.
The Lagos State Government has introduced a myriad of interventions, stopgap measures, programmes and policies that have mitigated the adverse effects of domestic violence.
It is in the best interest of anyone suffering from domestic abuse to come out and key into these programmes in order not to end up in the similitude of countless others who have lost their lives to domestic violence.
- Aruya of the Ministry of Information & Strategy, Alausa, Ikeja.