Say what you mean and mean what you say (IV)

We thank Mr Khaleed Tijani, the first respondent who provided, via SMS (08065709622), the following answers to the light exercise in last week’s edition:

• The Super Eagles will defeat the Bafana Bafana.
• He was accused of murder.
• We are yet to assess the completion of the project.
• Congratulations on your success in the exams.
• You cannot meet the deadline except you speed things up.

Instead of just spotting the malapropisms, he corrected the errors, getting four of the five right. We congratulate him on this brilliant performance, which is gladdening indication that we are sharing meaning with someone on malapropisms. We might as well provide explanation for each of his responses, to propagate the glad tidings to other readers.

First: The Super Eagles will defeat the Bafana Bafana – to correct “The Super Eagles will win Bafana Bafana.”

The malapropism in the defective sentence is the verb win. You do not win an opponent; you beat, defeat, conquer, outclass or subdue an opponent in a contest of any kind. But you win a football match, beauty contest, boxing duel, war or whatever form of contest for that matter. It is important to be mindful of this defeat-win nuance, because the mistaking of one for the other has assumed the seriousness of a plague. You read this from unexpected quarters. In fact, “The Super Eagles will win Bafana Bafana” was a headline in a national newspaper attributed to the late Stephen Keshi, the then coach of the senior national team. If anyone should know that you defeat, and not win, an opponent, it is a coach.

Second: He was accused of murder – to replace “He was alleged of murder.”

It is egregious malapropism to allege someone of anything. To allege is “to state that someone has done something illegal or wrong without giving proof” (Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary). The dictionary provides illustrations of appropriate usage, thus: “The two men allege that the police forced them to make false confessions;” and “Mr. Smythe is alleged to have been at the centre of the international drugs ring.” Kindly note that in the two illustrations, no one is alleged of anything. Correct usage is to accuse someone of something. The same dictionary says to accuse is “to say that someone has done something morally wrong, illegal or unkind,” and it illustrates thus: “He’s been accused of robbery;” and “The surgeon was accused of negligence.”

Third: We are yet to assess the completion of the project – to correct “We are yet to access the completion of the project.”

The word access in the faulty construction is a funny malapropism of assess, and as the character of malapropisms goes, this confusion must create problems of meaning, logic and communicative use of English. When you consider that access could ‘be interpreted to mean “get to,” “reach,” “approach” or “contact,”’ you would see that the word makes no sense or meaning as used. “Pop” Errors in English: Writers Beware advises that: “Should you sense your own confusion in moments like this, simply fish for a suitable synonym as, in this case, examine or evaluate.” It is as well that Mr. Tijani helped with the appropriate word assess, thereby leaving no one in doubt about the intended meaning of the message.

Fourth: Congratulations on your success in the exams – to replace “Congratulations for your success in the exams.”

You might think that replacing the wrong preposition for with on in the correction is negligible syntactic engineering. Wait until you encounter the error in the exercise in important documents, speeches or works of acclaimed writers. This is why you should always note that you do not congratulate for; you congratulate someone on something, usually an achievement. Lest, you will pass for one of those untutored writers whose forte is sheer instincts.

Fifth: You cannot meet the deadline except you speed things up.

Mr. Tijani got this one wrong, as he failed to replace the malapropism except with a more suitable word. The appropriate conjunction there is unless. Never mind that many writers use except and unless interchangeably, as if their meanings are the same. The two conjunctions are vastly different in meaning. Again, we seek help from Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary. It defines except as “not including; but not,” illustrating the usage with: “The museum is open daily except Mondays.” On the other hand, it defines unless as “except if,” exemplifying the usage with “You can’t get a job unless you’ve got experience.” The difference between the two conjunctions is that except indicates exclusion, whereas unless is used to prescribe a condition. Thus, the correct construction is:

You cannot meet the deadline unless you speed things up.

Now then, another light exercise – again requesting you to kindly spot the malapropisms in the following:

• The vice president inaugurated the . . . palm oil nursery development project.
• He adduced the current economic problems to internal and external factors.
• Please accept my complements of the season.
• There were less tourists at Ikogosi Warm Spring last year.
• The key message of the eminent drawdown was re-echoed.

We look forward to receiving your response to the exercise, and kindly note that on account of space only the first response received will be published. One more time, do have a wonderful New Year.