Toma Unu may not be a name people easily recognize or know, but she is a bundle of confidence, Dorcas Egede, who recently met her tells her exciting story.
The feeling many people have toward people with disabilities is that of pity, but what you feel when you meet Toma Unu for the first time isn’t pity. The warmth she exudes melts the heart, and all you feel is love. Born 33 years ago, Unu has spent the last 27 years at Modupe Cole, as she fondly calls the Modupe Cole Memorial Child Care and Treatment Home School located in the Akoka area of Lagos.
The magic wheel chair
At the tender age of six, Unu was taken to Modupe Cole, which unknown to her and her father, was going to be her home for the next 27 years. Amidst laughter, she described the way she was brought to the home. “I came in through one of my dad’s friends. You know there’s no family who will be faced with this kind of condition that will not want a solution for it. We had been to many places in search of help, let’s not go into that. My dad told his friend about me. Since the person saw that my dad loved me so much and he wasn’t going to allow me to stay away from him, he had to tell my dad that there was this magic wheel chair on which if his daughter sat for 2-3 months, she would be fine. But of course, there was nothing like that.”
After Unu was diagnosed of Cerebral Palsy Athetoid and her father had gone everywhere he knew for a solution, he was glad when his friend told him about the ‘magic’ wheel chair, so he asked how much this ‘magic’ wheel chair was being sold for. He would have given anything to get the said chair for his beloved daughter to be well. But then, this friend “told my dad that it wasn’t being sold, that they would have to take me to a home where I could share this magic chair with other children. That’s how I got here.” She finished off with hearty laughter.
As days rolled into weeks and weeks into months, it soon became clear to Unu’s dad that the magic wheel chair wasn’t going to bring about the sought after healing of his daughter. He didn’t despair, but told her that “God has a purpose for everything, so no matter what you’re going through, just keep your faith going. He was crying as he was saying this. I told him thank God he’s still going to be coming to see me and his response was, you know I can’t leave you. And he was coming to see me often. But then, death took him away from me.” She finished somberly.
A blessing in disguise
Even though Unu’s dad had been tricked, as it were, into taking his daughter to the home, she sees it as a blessing in disguise and she is always grateful for it. “I give God the glory for making it possible for me to come to Modupe Cole, because this has been a home to me. Assuming that my dad hadn’t brought me here, I don’t know what could have happened to me, because it was two years after I came to this home that I lost my dad.
“From this home, I started my primary and secondary school. I’m done with my NCE and I’ve obtained the form for my degree programme at the Open University. I studied Adult Education for my NCE and for my degree I want to study Early Childhood Education. I want to be able to train every child, not just special children, because I believe that if special children are able to mix with able children, their mentality will change, their motivation will change, and they will be accepted among some people. It is not everybody that can accept special children. And special children will be able to feel loved by others.”
Even though she never did feel the love of her biological mum, having known only her dad before going to the home, Unu is grateful for the little she has. “When I was staying with my dad, I used to call my stepmother my mum, because I don’t really know what happened between daddy and mummy, all I just know is that I called my stepmother my mum. I got to know my mum in year 2000, and she died in 2017. We didn’t really bond well, but the feeling of knowing that you have a mother was good.”
Did she really miss not having a mum from childhood? “God knows how to take care of His own. Today, I have a lot of mothers in Modupe Cole. Though they’re not my biological parents, they take care of me like their own. They deserve some kudos. They make me feel like your mum is not here, but we can be your mum.
“My family here is so special to me. You need to come close to us to really know us. We are all special in one way or the other. I often advice people who come here to donate that it’s not all about the gift, but the legacies that you put down. You can give us food, and we will just eat it and forget about you, but you can come in and share your time, play with us, tell us how much God loves us, and we will appreciate that more. We are very friendly and accommodating. We can be sometimes naughty, but we are so accommodating. We help one another a lot.”
The painting passion
Unu, unable to use her hands, learnt to do a lot of things using her legs. But of all the things she does with her legs, painting is dearest to her heart. How did it all begin? “Painting started on this beautiful day when I was feeding the children with my leg, then a friend of mine came and she was like, ‘Wow! I never knew you could do this, you always pretend as if you cannot do anything.’ I was just laughing. Then, she said, ‘since you can use your leg to feed these children, why can’t you use it to play with colours?’ I must have been about 18 then.”
With much convincing from this friend of Unu’s, a Reverend Sister from India, she started painting. “This was how we started. She would draw on newspaper because she knew I loved to read newspapers. After drawing, she would ask me to paint what she drew. I would be very happy to paint. We continued like this for a long time; she would do the drawing and I would do the painting.”
For a long time running, painting the Reverend Sister’s drawings on newspaper was to Unu nothing but using her legs to play with colours. At least that’s what the sister had told her when they started out. She, however, began to take painting more seriously when “on one beautiful day, while watching a TV documentary, I saw a young man using his legs to play (with colours) that was how I decided to take this thing more seriously.”
Today, Unu has an array of beautiful paintings, which she displays and sells. She does more of landscaping. “My painting is based on landscaping, talking about nature, the sky, beauty. You know, God is the greatest artist. When people think that you’re ugly, he finds a way to beautify your life. My inspiration comes from the sky, everything nature.”
Some of the paintings are even bought off her before she is done with them, “I’ve tried my hands on painting water. I loved it so much and I hadn’t even finished painting before someone bought it.”
Unu is not sitting idle in the name of disability and calling for a pity party. She is pursuing her passion and making a living, albeit small, for herself. “I had an art exhibition two years ago and it was a huge success. I’m planning another one for next year,” she said.
Asked if she names her works as many artists do, Unu said; “I don’t name my works because painting can mean different things to different people. So, I just allow people buy and name it whatever they please.”
Unu’s aspirations
One of Unu’s wishes is to get out of the home soon and live a normal life. “One of my wishes that I’ve been praying about for a long time and I believe that one day God will answer me; is for me to get out of Modupe Cole and live a normal life.” Asked if the normal life would include children of her own, her hearty response was, “that’s one of my best wishes, to see my little ones disturbing me. I have many children around me, but I just want to feel the joy of having mine. I also wish to have my own art studio.”
A word for special children and their parents
“My advice to the parents of special children is that to everything there is a season, a time to smile and a time to cry; and God has a purpose for giving you that special child. I remember when my own started, my dad did not leave me. He took it as his own cross. Parents need to accept their child’s condition, love the child despite that condition, because God is love. Assuming that God did not love us, he won’t send his son to die for us. Love conquers everything. If you love your child, you will be able to think of a way forward for that child, because it is what you love that you will be able to nurture. They should become deaf to what people around are saying. They should take a little step by not hiding the child. And God will crown their effort. Because you can’t have N20 and keep it; it will just remain N20. But when you bring them out people will talk, some negative, some positive, but bring them out all the same and encourage them to do things that other children are doing and you will be surprised at what God will do. It is not easy to take care of a special child, but if they accept their fate and learn to love the child, things will just be going smoothly.”
To the special child, Unu has this to say, “Several years back, I was a little bit down. I did everything to make myself happy but I couldn’t be happy. I called a friend of mine and told her exactly what was going on with me. She said, “Sweetheart, I cannot love you if you don’t love yourself.” That statement changed everything. She said no matter how much she showed me love if I didn’t accept myself the way I am, everything else wouldn’t matter. My advice to the special child is for them to love themselves, accept the way they are and bring something out of nothing. I believe one thing; nobody is useless except they want to make themselves useless. Each person has a gift; try to find out that gift and be cheerful and happy, don’t think bad about yourself. Be focused.”
Unu with her productive life and philosophy and can-do spirit is something to emulate.
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