Meeting 75-year-old Diana Bailey could be interesting. She is grandmother of Angelle Burrus (late Dele Udoh’s daughter) and mother of the late Dele Udoh’s wife, Angella. Udoh, a Nigerian sprinter who came to represent Nigeria from America was killed 38 years ago in Lagos by a trigger-happy police officer. In a scoop that reverberated, Taiwo Abiodun had last December interviewed Burrus, whom he happened on in the United States of America, and later her mother. In what could be an encore to the Udoh Series, he presents an encounter with the grandmother in her base in St. Louis, Missouri.
THE Dele Udoh I knew
The septuagenarian grandmother Diana Bailey went down memory lane to speak about her late son-in-law, Dele Udoh and the brief but blissful relationship they had before his life was abruptly cut short in 1981.
“I knew the late Dele Udoh through my daughter. I met him when my daughter, Angella, was dating him. My daughter’s friend was dating a guy, who was friend to Dele Udoh and they met through her.”
Asked to confirm her daughter’s statement that she was a minor when she met Udoh, Bailey said, “She was 18 years old then. I had to sign for her because she was 18 and not 19. As an 18-year-old, she needed somebody to sign her off.”
Reminiscing on that relationship, the retired nurse said “Yes, I supported that relationship. Dele asked me before marrying her and I teased him about it. We loved Dele. My son really loved Dele and we called him brother in-law.
“When they decided to get married, he came to Missouri. He said he had to go to Nigeria to run a track. He said, ‘I am a champion and I want to get married before I go.’ I said why? But he insisted. We drove to the church; me, my daughter, pastor and Dele. Dele left about a week later. He was called back and forth. The last time I talked to him on phone while he was in Nigeria, he asked ‘What size of shoe do you wear?’
Bad news
With misty eyes, the grandmother said, “He was killed the day after he spoke with me on phone. I got a phone call from his friend who was in Columbia, Missouri, who asked ‘Have you heard?’ He said he was told Dele was dead. I said ‘No, I just talked to him yesterday and he said he was ready to come back to St. Louis.’
“But he said, ‘No, I was told Dele was killed last night.’ His wife was in Columbia; that was where she lived with him. I called Nigeria …. I spoke with Dr. llya who was then the Sports Minister. We organised and an emergency passport was issued for Angella to attend the burial in Nigeria. I have many of Udoh’s photographs which I took from my daughter and kept.”
Udoh’s father had premonition of his death
Mrs. Bailey confirmed what her daughter told her about a letter that Udoh’s father wrote to him, asking him not to come home (to Nigeria), for he had premonition that he would be killed.
“But Dele dismissed it. However, we never had any premonition,” she said, almost shedding tears.
My daughter slept with Udoh’s lifeless body
What has however haunted Bailey in the last 38years is the horrible culture her daughter was made to experience when she came to attend her husband’s burial.
In a rather low voice, she said, “My daughter told me she was made to stay alone with Dele Udoh’s corpse in the room where he was laid during the wake-keep. She said that was their culture (in Ozu Abam, now Arochukwu Local Government Area) and I was shocked! How could anybody do that? What kind of culture is that? A young girl, left with a corpse alone in a room? No, no it is bad,” she said, shaking her head in total disapproval.
And then she asked, ‘Does that culture still exist in that part of the world?”
My daughter’s joy
What still amuses Bailey on the other hand is what her daughter told her she experienced in Udoh’s village. “My daughter told me that she took her bath in a small room outside and that she was happy seeing birds flying in the sky. This, she said, remains most refreshing in her memory, as she had never done such before.”
“My daughter’s expenses to the burial like flight and other things were paid for by the federal government. In fact she told me how people trooped out to honour Dele. She said there was motorcade and that she rode in a car to the village where he was buried.”
A daughter’s sorrow songs
The 75-year-old retired nurse narrated how her daughter on her return to America after the burial always sang songs of sorrow while weeping and mourning her late husband. She said, “After Udoh’s death, my daughter went through trauma, as she used to sing heart-wrenching and emotional songs that always brought tears to her eyes. It was horrible. I cannot think of the titles of the songs again. Whenever she was singing the songs in the bathroom, she would be crying, and I would also begin to cry. I used to tell her that Dele didn’t leave her willingly.”
And she took to drugs…
Grandma Bailey confirmed that her daughter took to drugs after losing her husband. “Yes, she went on drugs. She couldn’t cope. At that time, I was going through divorce, so I was not stable myself. By then she needed to see a psychologist. And then she had the baby. Everybody felt so bad about what happened to Dele. The baby is 37years old today and I am happy seeing her grown up.”
Bailey said Angella later got over the drug habit. “She is now cleared from drugs. She does not drink beer and does not even smoke. She has been cleared for over 27years now.”
I knew Udoh’s friends
Asked if she knew any of Udoh’s friends, Bailey said, “Yes I met them. They would come with him to my place. You know they were college students then. They were from different tribes in Nigeria. Dele told me he had a friend in Dominic, they don’t separate themselves by tribes, they are all Africans.”
Boko Haram
As someone, who by virtue of her daughter and granddaughter has affiliation with Nigeria, Bailey expressed concern about happenings in Nigeria. “I heard about Boko Haram and I feel for the school children abducted and never recovered till now. I heard all these from the news, I listen to news always. I also heard about kidnappings going on in the country. I heard of the students taken away by these Boko Haram people and never seen again.
“My daughter who is married to a Nigerian goes there and tells me stories. I also watch INSIDE AFRICA, a programme shown on television.
On her towering height
When teased that her granddaughter has taken after her 5’9 ft, the 75-year-old said, “Yes, Angelle is tall like her father and I am also tall. She looks like her dad, and she is my first granddaughter.”
Nigerian son-in-laws all the way
Aside Angella, Bailey has two other daughters who are married to Nigerians. And she has messages for them. “One of my daughters is married to a Yoruba man; she has six kids for him. This man needs to come and take care of the kids. Another is married to an Ibo man.”
On racism
Mrs. Bailey is particularly angry at the way blacks are being treated in America. She said, “You see when he (Udoh) first came to America, he was told not to associate with black people but he asked them, ‘Why should I not associate with black people?”
“We were brought here as slaves, packed side by side in a ship…until 1865. And that wasn’t long ago. My father’s father came from Louisiana. He told me he was freed when he was 17 years of age. My step father was also freed at about that time.
“I am angry, that is why I don’t take rubbish. Whenever they see black person, they take us as slaves. We have had our freedom, we know our worth,” she said.
Grandma Bailey wishes to go to Africa someday. She said “I have never been to Africa . I wish to go.”
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