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Tag: divorce?

  • What not to do when deciding whether or not to divorce

    There are wrong ways and right ways to go about taking that first step.

    Below are things I believe no one should do when trying to decide if divorce is right for them.

    Don’t give up on your marriage until you’ve done everything in your power to solve the problems in your marriage. Solving problems means letting your spouse know that the problems in the marriage have become so stressful that you are considering divorce. Nine times out of ten you both play a role in the problems in your marriage. It is only fair that you both have the opportunity to work toward solutions to the problems together or with a marriage counselor.

    Don’t become involved with another man or woman due to the unhappiness in your marriage. New relationships are for after you are divorced. Introducing a third party into an already bad situation only makes the situation worse. If you have an affair out of fear of being alone once you separate then you need to deal with your fear of being alone instead attaching yourself to someone new just to keep from having to face your fear.

    Don’t allow anger or an argument to drive you to the point of filing for a divorce. The decision to divorce should be made when you are level headed and free of emotions. This is especially true if you have children. For the children’s sake it is important that whoever decides to leave the marriage is able to do so in a civil and respectful manner.

    Don’t leave an unhappy marriage, one in which you are treated respectfully if you do not have the ability to take care of yourself financially. Alimony is not guaranteed these days and even if it were, child support and alimony will not provide a sufficient lifestyle for you and your children should you divorce. Think about building a career of your own before thinking about divorce.

    Choose wisely who you share your wish to divorce with. Find a trusted confidant or therapist but don’t talk about your unhappiness with anyone willing to listen. Should you decide not to divorce you will then be known in your social circle as the person who is unhappy in their marriage. And, you will have a lot of explaining to do.

    I don’t have to tell you how painful the decision to divorce can be. If you are reading this article, you are fully aware. You need to know that your decision will have a lasting impact on yourself, your spouse and your children for years to come. Take your time, use a level head and take into consideration not only what divorce will mean for you but, for all involved in your decision.

     

  • Divorce rumour trails Chris Attoh

    By deleting his wedding pictures on his social media handles, actor Chris Attoh has fuelled some of his fans’ suspicion that all might not be well with his second marriage.

    According to Ghanaweb, the actor’s current marriage is about crushing like the first one or has already crushed.

    The actor deleted all wedding photos of himself and his wife, Betty Jennifer, whom he got married to in October 2018.

    The blog noted that from history with ‘deleting of photos’ on Social media by celebrities, it’s always the first signal that something is CERTAINLY wrong.

    When Chris was married to the Nigerian actress Damilola and their marriage was crashing, Damilola stopped wearing her wedding ring and started deleting photos of Chris Attoh on her IG and even refused to wish him a Happy birthday on social media like she’s done in previous years.

    When the rumours started, Chris denied them saying that there’s no divorce only for him to admit that his marriage had ended months ago.

    In a September 2017 interview, Chris said that his wife was not submissive to him and that was one of the many reasons why their marriage crashed.

    But Chris has not yet given any reason for clearing off his wedding pictures.

  • ‘I no longer love my husband’, divorce seeking wife tells court

    A housewife, Mariam Sadiq, has approached a Sharia Court in Minna seeking the dissolution of her marriage because she no longer love her husband.

    “I have fallen out of love with my husband and I am no longer interested in the marriage. That is why I am asking this honourable court to dissolve the marriage,” she said.

    READ ALSO: My husband deserts home when Eid-el-Kabr draws nearer, divorce-seeking wife tells court

    Sadiq, however, said he still loves his wife and would not want them to separate.

    He prayed the court to give him some time to try and prevail on his wife to change her position on the matter.

    The presiding judge, Ahmed Bima, advised the couple to resolve their differences, adding that marriage required patience and understanding.

    Bima thereafter adjourned the matter until May 15 for report of settlement.

  • My husband is randy, separate us, wife begs court

    An Oke-Bola-based trader, Olabisi Adejola, has pleaded with a Mapo Customary Court in Ibadan, Oyo State, to dissolve her 16-year-old union to her husband, Paul because he is too sex hungry and often rape her.

    Testifying before Chief Ademola Odunade, the court’s President, Obabisi, a mother of three, said that that her husband might sniff life out of her if the court did not separate them because he usually rapes her.

    “My lord, I made up my mind to call it quits with Paul because there is no peace in our marriage.

    “Paul often subjects me to untold brutality in the process of sleeping with me.

    “If he does not succeed in raping me, he beats or rains curses on me.

    “Paul is forever requesting for sex and I fear that he might turn me into something else if I don’t leave him,” she told the court.

    “In fact, he is a terrible drunkard and even quarrels with our 15-year-old first child.

    “Paul never fends for the children and I, let alone showing concern about their education.

    “Due to his irresponsibility, I have moved away from Paul’s home since March 4.”

    The defendant, who earned his living as an Entertainer, consented to the suit, but denied the allegations levelled against him.

    Paul, a resident of Oke-Ado area of Ibadan, however, submitted that he was pleased with his wife filing the divorce suit because she was a dishonest partner.

    “My lord, Olabisi made up her mind to leave me because I caught her conspiring with thieves.

    READ ALSO: My husband is a lazy man, separate us: wife begs court

    “A gang of armed robbers have been keeping stolen money and other items in her custody and I complained bitterly about it.

    “Before I returned home on that day, Olabisi had packed her belongings.

    “In addition, she is a wayward wife because she sometimes left home for three days fornicating around.

    “It is not true that I don’t cater for the children.

    “Also, I have never forced Olabisi into having sexual intercourse with me,” Paul said.

    Odunade held that there was no more reason keeping the union since the duo have expressed their interest to separate.

    He, however, awarded custody of the three children produced by the union to Olabisi and directed Paul to pay N12,000 monthly for the children’s upkeep.

    The Arbitrator also ordered Paul to be responsible for their education and other welfare.

     

  • Court dissolves 9-year-old marriage over deceit

    Chief Usman Ibrahim, the President of Pyakasa Customary Court in Lugbe, on Wednesday dissolved a nine-year-old marriage between Chukwu Oge and Obinna Akuobi over deceit and lies.

    Ibrahim held that the court had no other option than to dissolve the union since parties have resolved to dissolve the marriage and urged the court to adopt term’s of settlement.

    He said that Oge, is granted custody of the seven year old child of the marriage but at 16 years Akuobi takes over custody as agreed by parties.

    Ibrahim said that Akuobi  is expected to  pay N15, 000 monthly to the mother for the upkeep of child and pay his school fees.

    He also ordered  Oge to return N5,000 bride price payed by Akuobi’s family back to him as agreed.

    He also instructed her to ensure that the respondent is allowed to visited his son but also informed parties that  consent judgment, has no room for appeal except where fraud is detected.

    Earlier in her petition, Oge, an indigene of Enugu State had approach the court seeking the dissolution of her marriage to Akuobi.

    The petitioner said that the marriage is built on deception  because Akuobi never told her he had four children from four different women before their marriage.

    She also told the court that he never told her his Geno- type is AS, knowing full well that her’s was AS.

    Oge said that her marriage to Akuobi became a nightmare and she is not willing to continue with it.

  • Woman threatens suicide if divorce request fails

    An Idi-Ogungun Customary Court in Agodi, Ibadan, on Tuesday dissolved a five-year-old marriage over battery and lack of care by the man.

    The President of the court, Mr Mukaila Balogun, held that evidence before the court proved that Mr Lasisi Mukaila battered his wife, Kafila, who filed for divorce and threatened to kill herself if the court would reject her request.

    Balogun said that the court did not derive pleasure in dissolving marriages ”but cannot fold its arms and allow ugly incidents involving lives to happen”.

    He regretted that domestic violence had resulted in loss of lives, saying that some of lives would have been saved if the marriages were dissolved when the need arose.

    ”Though the defendant pleaded with the court not to dissolve the marriage, the court is handicapped to uphold the prayer due to threat from the plaintiff that she would kill herself if the court refuses her divorce request.

    ”The testimony of the plaintiff has shown that she was no longer interested in the union due to the unbearable ill-treatment and lack of care from the defendant.

    ”The court, therefore, dissolves the marriage. The only child of the marriage should be in the custody of the plaintiff.

    ”The defendant should pay N4,000 as monthly allowance for the upkeep of the child; both parties should abstain from trouble,” Balogun said.

    Earlier, Kafila told the court that Lasisi was in the habit of beating her, adding that he was not concerned about her welfare and that of their child.

    She said that she fainted in September 2018 when Lasisi beat her.

    The petitioner threatened to kill herself if the court would not dissolve the marriage, saying that she was fed up.

    Responding, Lasisi confessed to be beating his wife but promised to change.

    He prayed the court not to dissolve the marriage.

  • Court dissolves 19-year-old marriage over wife’s adulterous lifestyle

    Chief Ademola Odunade, the President of a Mapo Customary Court in Ibadan, on Tuesday dissolved the 19 year-old  marriage between one Abdulahi Azeez and Mujidat over adultery.

    “If an adulterous spouse does not kill herself, she will definitely kill her husband, therefore the union between Abdulahi and Mujidat has ceased to be.

    “Custody of the last child produced by the union is awarded to Mujidat while Abdulahi is granted custody of the first three.

    “Abdulahi shall pay a monthly allowance of N5,000 for the child’s upkeep in addition to been responsible for her education and other welfare,” he said.

    In his petition, Abdulahi, a businessman who resides at Moniya area of Ibadan said: “for 19 good years my lord, I have endured all sorts of horrors and psychological trauma due to Mujidat’s constant adultery with all shapes of men.

    “As a businessman, I travel around to ensure that Mujidat and her four children are comfortable, however, Mujidat only pays me with infidelity.

    The respondent who opposed the divorce suit also denied the allegations leveled against her.

    Mujidat, a trader,  prayed the court not to dissolve her union with Abdulahi.

  • Divorce: My husband is a gossip, liar

    A 43-year-old housewife, Titilayo Akaba, on Thursday asked a Badagry Customary Court in Topo Garage, to dissolve her marriage to Maselin Akada, whom she accused of been a habitual gossip and liar.

    Titilayo, a food vendor, who resides at Baale Street., Torikoh, Badagry, in her application for divorce, told the court that she had spent a night in police custody because of her husband’s lying habit.

    “I met Maselin in 1997 and we both married without my parents’ consent because he was 30 years older than me.

    “No dowry was paid and I have three children for him.

    “He did not give me rest of mind and he talks too much at his age.

    “Maselin will be rolling on the ground, crying that i have stolen and hidden his documents whereas he is lying.

    “My husband went to Area K Police Command in Morogbo to report me that i sent hired killers and badoo boys to kill him.

    “They transferred the case to Badagry Police Station, where i was detained for 24 hours for what i did not do.

    “My lord, i don’t have rest of mind staying under the same roof with this man, he is a liar,” she said.

    Titilayo pleaded with the court to grant her custody of the three children, and alleged that Madelin was old and had vision challenge.

    The respondent was, however, not in court.

    The court’s President, Mr Sakirudeen Adekola, adjourned the case until Oct.9 for further hearing.

  • I may jump into river, divorce-seeking wife tells court

    A 28-year-old housewife and mother of one, Mautin Idowu, on Wednesday asked a Badagry Customary Court in Lagos State to dissolve her five-year-old marriage to her husband, Michael, to prevent her from committing suicide.

    The petitioner threatened to jump into a river in the coastal city if the court declined to grant her request due to the alleged wayward behaviour of her husband.

    Mautin, a teacher in a public school, said that she was tired of her husband’s disrespect for her family, his intolerable behaviour and lack of love.

    “I was in 300-level at the Lagos State University Distance Learning Programme when I met Michael Idowu in 2012.

    “He was a teacher and I was teaching with my National Certificate in Education (NCE) then; he proposed to me but I rejected because he was older than me.

    “Michael told me that his wife divorced him with two sons and out of pity, I fell in love with him.

    “Few months after, he took me to meet his family. When I got pregnant in 2013, we got married and he paid my dowry.

    “But when I was seven months pregnant, I discovered that my husband had two wives and six children which he hid from me during our courtship.

    “He lied to me, my world broke down but I survived the trauma.

    “ Michael kept me in a two-room apartment in a bushy area, but I still managed to have my baby, ” the petitioner said.

    She told the court that her husband abandoned her and her baby and disrespected her parents by shouting at his mother-in-law and hanging up the phone on her father.

    The respondent was, however, not in court.

    The court’s President, Mr Sakirudeen Adekola, adjourned the case till Oct. 18 to give room for an amicable settlement between the couple.

  • Saraki/APC’s messy divorce

    SIR: Senate President Bukola Saraki was never a member of the All Progressives Congress (APC). His membership was in name, but not in character. Though he played a pivotal role in bringing the APC to power, his contributions were never fancied.

    After the APC breasted victory in the 2015 election, the two organic political parties in the union – the ACN and CPC – took a discriminatory bent to the disgruntled immigrants from the PDP.  A caste quickly developed in the party. While the ACN (bride) and CPC (groom) became aborigines, Saraki and his group became outcasts and expendable baggage.

    Not long after the victory lap, Saraki faced existential threats. His ambition could not contain the APC, so the party tried to contain him. It ruled him out of the position of senate president. But he conned the party, and realigned with his siblings in the PDP to rise to the office of senate president. Mere anarchy was then let loose.

    The dust has not settled since this “tactical manoeuvring”. Also, the APC aborigines never trusted Saraki, perhaps, because of his history of deviousness or intractable ambition. So, he was never considered a member of the party in spirit; only in name.

    But I must say, Nigeria’s political reality is fraught with treachery. Treachery is the name of the game. And treachery begets treachery. So, Saraki got served.

    To put it graphically, Saraki is like that side chick or “small girl with a big God”, who enjoyed the extravagance of her sugar daddy that never considered her marriageable. So, when the pleasure ended, she had to hit the highway.

    Aminu Tambuwal, governor of Sokoto State has only yesterday announced his exit from the APC. So, this is not just about Saraki.  The APC carried many side chicks to bed in 2015.

    But I think the defections are healthy for our democracy.

     

    • Fredrick Nwabufo, <fredricknwabufo@yahoo.com>